My very first week of Jewball, I didn’t get into the game. I stood on the sideline and watched. It was a club I was not a part of. They had enough guys and I wasn’t one of them…yet. The players were all familiar with each other and – in my eyes – playing football at a level I could not imagine competing with. I couldn’t really imagine being one of them. I had zero experience playing competitive football. These guys were serious. There were cones on the field! Some of them were wearing actual football jerseys! Like in the NFL! The guy standing to my right on the sideline, though – also not getting in – probably embarrassed to be grouped in with me – was a different story. Of all the things I wish for Jewball related, none do I wish for more acutely than to have you all playing with Jason Katzenstein.
I met the kid in camp sophomore summer. Huge attitude and ego – total abrasive punk. Electric athlete. Rough exterior, but sensitive as hell. I was not a sports guy at all, but we became close friends. Still in touch. He’s completely frummed out living in Passaic. JK was the QB for the BMT Cheesecake (can’t make this up) and (E can confirm) took them to the championships, where they lost. He was the MVP of the AFLI that year. I would sometimes walk through Jerusalem with JK as teenagers and Israeli kids would yell out his name. They read about him in the papers or watched the games. He was a star.
We had a few years in KGH together before he moved to NJ and me to LI. For two off those years, we played Jewball. Like I said, at first we didn’t get in. But it was a journey we were taking together. Soon enough, he and I (with guys like Spira, Yakir, and Rabin) were the foundation for each game.
Why do I bring up JK today? Besides that he is probably the only guy from the Golden Age who, if playing today like he did then, would be top 3 Power Ranking every week. He played in a time where the games were fun, but generally sparsely attended. 5 on 5 was the usual. He very often played official QB with 4 on 4s. Whatever – that’s the past. I brink up JK now because he was a dynamic passer who could throw laser beams, or heave it a mile – ultra serious and locked in during games – could take off with elusive speed and quickness if need be – and….was a lefty. I bring up JK because – although I don’t believe in reincarnation, especially when both people are alive – with Dachs, I now can see what modern Jewball would have looked like if JK was still around. And it’s beautiful.
Week 8 had great weather and two great games. Maybe not everyone had the best experience (someone always loses), but both games were close and competitive and guys made plays.
We started with Dachs v. Ernie in Ernie’s season debut as signal caller. How did it go? Well, it could not have started better. On his first possession (coming after a Zinn pick) and first pass, he rips off a bomb to Zinn streaking down the left sideline. On. The. Money. Catch and run. TD.  Ernie up 1 right away. That one score stood up for a while because although Dachs was racking up completions, he was not putting up points. Shout out to Beast for being an early sparkplug for Dachs – catching balls out of the TE slot and motoring downfield. The offense for Ernie’s squad – and he had high caliber offensive weapons besides Zinn in Mighty and Prime as well as a really tough protection in DK, O, and PJs – but the ball was not moving well. Tom, Munch, and E are some big boys coming out you in the middle and it seemed that with all the size flashing up the gut, the middle of the field was taken away from Ernie. Combine that with a leg still healing – and despite his incredible toughness and underrated agility – Ernie could not make enough happen out of the pocket. At the end of the day…he put up 2 scores – both to Zinn. The second TD being a jump ball that only Zinn catches.
Meanwhile, Dachs is not going to be kept down forever. Between the Zinn scores, he moved the ball with every receiver. Strikes to Tom, MK, Singer – all executed with samurai precision. Tom picked up a huge 1st down by reaching out for a bullet on a cross over the middle in traffic and sticking with it. That lead to a score with Sting who caught the ball and made some people miss (who should not have). The tying TD was a gem to Beast who sat down in a nice empty space in the back of the endzone and reached up for a pass that floated just slightly high. The TD in OT was hauled in by Tom, who had himself a nice handsy day. Ernie could not tie the game in his final possession and Dachs gets the victory in a game that either team could have won. There was a push to give the Jewball to Tom from the fans, but….don’t u know that makes it less likely! Truth is….I looked at the tape. Tom made some catches and important ones. He and Beast had the same stat line and each dropped a pass they should have caught. Tom will get his Jewball in a snow game, I am sure. This one goes to Beast. He was buzzing and humming from the first play of the game to the last. Beast is on fire this season and is bringing it every single game, every single set. That’s what Jewballs are made of. Here ya go, brother.
Game 2 took place when Perla was just Perla. Just a White Goodman meme. I write this recap after he gets the W and becomes a TBI sensation. As I told Yaron, Sunday was very good for Jewball. And Tuesday was even better. We need Perla to – and I mean this in the most cultish was possible – JOIN US. This was more or less the subject of our friction mid-game. He was right that shit talking mid-game is counter productive….but…honestly…I was less worried about the game and more worried about the future. And it actually worked out. The arm band took a back seat. The colored dots became people. And Perla beat Yaron in a game that admittedly was stacked somewhat against Yaron….but he could have won it. Perla’s team was very motivated to get together for a W. Was trying to remember the order of what happened, but Steveo’s video posts made me even more confused. Is it so hard to record every single play from behind the QB and post in order with captions?? So while I don’t know exactly what happened in our game, I do know what happened in the 10th grade DRS game.
I saw Goldberg in the power rankings so I had to assume he had a big game. Confirmed. 2TDs and a pick. He even had the game winning TD, which was – like Game 1 – in OT. What happened before that? It was tied 3-3. I know Storm had a hot game and gave Yaron life a bunch of times when he was dead to rights. Caught one with Rook in his grill at the 10 to lead to a score. And punched in the game tying TD with time expiring by propelling past Goldberg. That sin was Goldberg’s only one of the game and his stat line is Jewball worthy. Jewball to you, Goldberg. But the story of the game and the week is Perla. He told us from the beginning it would take him a while to catch up and get it. It took longer than we expected (maybe longer that we are used to as we’ve been spoiled with rookies who seem to get it absurdly fast). But it seemed that at some point during Week 9 of the 2022 season, Mike White Goodman arrived. Welcome. JOIN US.