Week 6 feels like a looong time ago. So much has happened since I walked off the field dejected after a second consecutive loss. We wrote Jewball movie scripts, Steveo had a birthday, Spira chronicled the Silver Age, Logan revived TBI, and Benj switched to pullups. Definitely a good week to take my time getting a recap out. Sometimes a game is so brutal, you want to tell the story quickly and get it over with. That’s when the loss is devastating because the contest is so close and one or two mistakes turned the tide. Even worse if those mistakes were your own. The kind of game that – if you are lucky – it only haunts you for a week. Then there are the games that just suck the life out of you. Where your spirit gets broken and you just don’t care enough to revisit it. A forgettable game. In many ways, a memorable loss is superior – in the long run – to a forgettable win. After all – as heretical as it may sound – we are here (cosmically speaking) for the memories. Let’s talk memories.
On the first morning of the season that could be described as not warm (though still far from cold as evidenced by Goldberg playing), Jewball settled into a real rhythm at our new home in Hewlett. Old Timers asked us to flip the field and play on the shadowy side and we abided. Respect our elders, disrespect soccer bitches. Easy. Game 1 will be remembered by some as a rousing victory, by others as a gut punch defeat. And neither are true. It was another tie. MK took a knee 40 minutes before kickoff and asked for a replacement. Ivry and Waldo pounced, but it was Irv with the quicker swerve. Teams remained as posted. Once again Pray v. Feit. Sorry, the UNDEFEATED and very much embattled Feit. Pretty much no one wore their designated dark/colors, so….whatever. As captured on film – by yours truly – so I should be exempt from recapping – no one scored for the first 5 drives of the game. A lot of knocking on the doors of glory, but no admittance. Finally, I shut the camera and Feit went deep route to Mighty and a TD happened. Feit had thrown a similar reception to Gronk earlier, but Gronk is not big for running for TDs after the catch. You want Gronk to score  a receiving TD…he needs to be in the end zone already when you throw it. Once again, I started filming….and nothing happened. I realized I was the problem. No more filming. Problem is, now I have no video evidence of what happened next and I have to rely on memory. No memories. Thankfully, we do have Yaron’s box score. I know that Ivry scored for Feit once again. The man who uses TBI every night to help him fall into a deep coma-like sleep had the game in hand. Gronk was playing the best defense of his life. Oren was bringing the heat on the pass rush. And Dobs and Maor were being completely ignored. Feit’s game plan was running on all cylinders. Asked for comment immediately after the game about not throwing to Dobs and Maor – two sure handed receivers – Feit told the reporter to “get over it.”
With a 2-0 lead late in the game and, as mentioned, Oren really limiting Pray’s running game, Pray seemed to be in trouble. He was misfiring and clearly disappointed with his production. One could see PJs’ What’s Wrong with Pray segment on TBI getting longer and longer. Then Pray said F it and decided to run. A lot. In the end he ran just enough. Got some tough 1st downs, kept the chains moving, and scored twice – both to Zada. The first Zada TD was a grinder down the sideline with Singer lead blocking and Zada gutting the defense. The second, I don’t remember. Either way, Pray had come back. Feit had squandered what felt like a sure victory.  At the buzzer, Pray was feeling relieved and Feit was feeling mugged – and we have another tie in Jewball.
Game 2 was a Snow game, which is always special. But the shine wore off quickly. Things never to say in the huddle before an opening drive. “Guys, we are here to have fun and just run around” I know how Snow means it and I know he is a competitor. He has the hardware to prove it. Probably more than the rest of us. He has lead teams to many a championship. And that could be why – at this stage – for him – Jewball is just for fun. He’s coming off an injury and fighting his way back – GOD BLESS HIM – and it’s a long road, but let’s be clear: Jewball is fun, but we are not here for it. We are here to push ourselves, compete, and win ball games (and of course create memories while doing so). And it looked like maybe we would do that with Snow running the huddle as the game opens with a Jack drop of sure TD from Yaron. Snow runs the same play for his squad but Legs makes the catch and punches it in. On the following drive, Legs sacks Yaron and it seems like maybe…just maybe…this is gonna be a rousing victory for the returning MVP and a Jewball for Legs. But, unfortunately, the game had 70 more minutes on the clock. And during those 70 minutes Yaron ignited and MVP wilted. Yaron wants me to kiss his ass for the rest of this recap, and he deserves it. He gets beaten up enough. But I won’t do it. It’s boring, I’ve done it enough in other recaps, and – truth is – he doesn’t need the confidence boost. He knows he was on fire on Sunday. I know he was on fire on Sunday. His team knows he was on fire on Sunday. Gorgeous TD to Daveo (thanks for filming Irv). Cross the body TD to Benj. A bunch of other TDs. Solo blocking like a fiend. It was a dismantling.
On the other side of the ball, just shitty play. Not MVP’s fault at all that his team let up 6 TDs. He sat on D. Okay, the picks didn’t help. And the P6 to Pops from the 4 yard line was brutal and certainly his fault. But the D was soft and confused and porous. Embarrassing lack of conviction on flag pulling and coverage. Twas a beat down in every sense. No brainer Jewball to Yaron for throwing passes that were actually caught.
Memorable or not, Week 6 was played, and another link in the chain is forged. Week 7 will be anything but forgettable. It’s League Week 2, Jewballers. BRING IT!