Game 1

Week 5 brought back the very successful Jewball League pitting the two undefeateds against one another and the two winless teams going head to head. Once again, as the games were played, despite the currents standings where Ass Men dominate at 2-0 and 193 flail at 0-2, it became evident that this anyone’s tournament for the taking. The competition is fierce and it appears that whichever team executes on Game Day has every chance to win.
On another unseasonable day in November, the field was clear and shimmering. A glorious day for football. And we had it to ourselves (reminder that Week 7 is our last shared Sunday). Just like that, though, Week 5 is in the books and with that- one quarter of our season. It goes by…..and this time truly appreciated with pandemic numbers picking up around us. There was no signs of pandemic and plenty of sunshine last Sunday. Some late breaking wind came and went during Game 2, but Game 1 – Birds of Pray v. Ass Men was all good. Game 1 was to see who would start The League season up 2-0 so there was some extra juice. The Ass Men were at full power and looked formidable with Rabin leading (or at least playing QB for) Logan, Singer, Jordan, MK, Munch, Storm, and O. Birds were down one of their best weapons with Legs taking a Leg Day – the team replaced him with a combination of Big E and Zelner. Otherwise, it was nice to see Wilmer back on the field, looking well rested and ready to go. Rounding out the team was their QB Captain Pray and the core of Goldberg, Vegh, Prime, and PJs. The game began on time with Rabin taking ball first – and on those first two possessions, he really looked like the Bin-there-done-that QB who comes in like a lion, but plays like a lamb. He just did not seem comfortable in the pocket at all and once again was not able to complete a pass. And by pass I mean a 3-foot screen. Luckily for the Ass Men, the team is built to be a defensive juggernaut and between the pass rush of Munch and O and the aggressive defense of MK and Logan – Pray had very little room to operate. A lot of pressure was brought and his default running lanes were sniffed out and plugged up. For most of the game, the Ass Men were sniffing and plugging. Putting up a veritable wall of Ass which Pray could not penetrate no matter how hard he tried. And he tried all game. The problem was, on the other side of the field, Rabin could not get it up. By that, I mean he could not throw the ball anywhere but in the downward direction (with the exception of nice hook-up with Storm for 25 yards in the middle of the field). Numerous times, Rabin was seen spiking the ball on hike even though there was no play clock to stop and the idea was to gain yards. However, eventually, the Birds went for it at midfield and the Ass Men – lead all day by MK and O flying around to pull flags – held the line and gifted Rabin a short field. A play later, the Ass Crack Back was called and a hand off to Jordan running right, was able to use O and Singer blocks to weave through the defense and put up a score. The 1-0 lead actually held for most of the game. Pray was not his sharpest and threw 5 picks on the day, two for P6s. Definitely not what his team needed with very little margin for error. After one of those P6s by Singer, and the score a seemingly comfortable 2-0, the Birds finally put a point on the board. It was Goldberg in the back of the end zone, somewhat redeeming himself after an earlier drop of a possible TD. Bird droppings were actually a theme of the day – with the exception of Prime, Pray had some problems with his WRs making the big catches when needed. None more inexplicable than the perfect loft to Goldberg on a roll out. Goldberg bobbled the ball a number of times before seeming to completely secure it….before just laying it gently on the turf. Eother way, even with all the picks and misses, Birds were only down 2-1 with 30 minutes to play. But just as they were infused with sudden life, on the very next play – everything fell apart. Rabin at his own 5, after struggling all day and clinging to a one score lead – dumps the ball to Munch who darts toward the sideline to get as many yards as he can. He’s at the 10. Vegh meets him at the 15. There is some of collision or exchange or moment of truth where Vegh either attempts to push Munch out or grab his flags. But Munch has other plans and does not yield. The Birds are frozen. Munch keeps running. All the way to the end zone. He never went out. The play never stopped. That’s a TD. Now, to talk rulebook. 1.) Always keep playing until it is clear that the play is dead 2.) Vegh was the man on the play so he would be the one to call him down or out 3.) If someone is on the sidelines watching – they actually have the best opportunity to make those calls. The problem here was that Prime and Pray said they heard someone say that Munch stepped out. In the aftermath, no one claimed to be that person. If someone had called out, we would have had to respect the call – even if it was not true in actuality, but no one said they called out. And so….the play stands – Munch makes it 3-1 and that was too much for the Birds to overcome. Time expired them being down two scores. In a last bid to just play until the clock ran out, Jordan picks one and runs it back for a score, temporarily taking TD leader away from Mighty…Temporarily because Mighty and his Feit Club were up next. That recap…tomorrow.
Jewball in Game 1 goes to Singer even though there were plenty of worthy candidates. The 3 picks and the big 2nd TD to give his team some breathing room sealed his MVP status. But special shout out to Logan for being usual selfless and team leader self – bringing us together when needed and lighting a fire under our Ass Men when needed as well. As mentioned before, O, MK, and Munch were flying around pulling flags and making sure Pray never could do his thing. Giving Prime respect as well for looking like a real number 1 WR for the Birds. Making big time plays for them. The other Bird WRs need to up their game to match Prime – and good things will happen. 
You can sign up now for Week 6. Weather looks nice. First game on turf, second game on grass. Early, Late, or Either. If you say Both, it means Either to me, so I will decide for you which game you get – fair warning.

Game 2:

Jewballers have a lot of pride. In a way, when there is nothing on the line – and you are out there exerting best efforts – there is more on the line. Because if you are braving the elements, with nothing to gain in terms of reward, fame, or compensation – and you can suffer real injury at any moment – and the risk is so great – the game has to mean something. It has to. The win is all you have. Your performance – whether good or bad – either haunts you or carries you through the week. In a way, of all the experiences we have shared – it is the “feeling” of a Jewball Sunday that binds us. The relatable highs and lows. So, when the League started, that feeling…was enhanced just a bit. The elation of the win and the crush of the loss was just that much more intense and sensational. And so – when two 0-1 teams met last Sunday morning with the Jewball League basement on the line, there was definitely pressure. And the irony of course was that the game was being played by Jewball’s two premiere QBs. It was Feit’s Club against Yaron’s 193. Feit had lost the prior league week to the Ass Men in a close affair that had some replacement player controversy. Yaron had lost to the Birds of Pray in a close game as well where Dobs – the newly engaged Dobs! – played hero and Yaron and his team looked somewhat lost on offense.
With two weeks to regroup, both teams met on the field of battle looking to get their momentum going. The game started before the game with Gronk unavailable and Feit picking up Megatron – one of the most talented players to ever take the field as a Jewballer. Not a regular by any means, but when he does come down – he makes a difference. Size and speed and skill. An even replacement for Gronk? Sure. I see that – a good move by the Feit Club. But it wasn’t even Megatron’s day – in fact, he had a pretty rough day – looking like he needs to get back into Jewball for some reps. It was really a team effort by the Feit Club that made the difference. They showed why they were the favorites before the season began. There was Mighty getting the scoring started making so much happen after the catch – just magical stuff down the left sideline – slashing, zipping, spinning, stopping – and zipping again – the 193 were not up to the task of slowing down a motivated Mighty. 1-0 Feit Club.
So, it’s hard to write a recap for 193 games since I don’t know all the names of the players…but they did show up in Steelers jerseys that I assumed were from the old school team they played on. Then…when I saw the JB logo…I just….y’know….Yaron – you do you. And I hope you doing you doesn’t entail losing games for much longer. Yaron is a winning QB type, so I expect a turnaround. But it would not come on Sunday. He did have a player that could run the rock impressively – and even better – he brought his girl down to watch the game (always good for our rep – soccer guys can’t compete with that). So, props to that guy because he was a threat. But otherwise…not much for Yaron and his crew. Most notably, Prime’s own legitimate son, Sam, was a terror on the D line – twice sacking Yaron for a big loss – once in endzone. Meanwhile, on offense Feit was really running an efficient offense. Mighty looked like once again he had a sure TD, but…someone (see, I need the names of the 193) managed to track him down at 5 yard line. Feit failed to score in what should have been momentum shift in the game, but Yaron’s offense sputtered again. Some drops. Some mix-ups…just kinda messy.
Feit Club looked like its breakthrough was inevitable and it came in the form of Beast. The man leading the league in sacks, almost sacks, and bodying, scored two in a row on crosses and 40 yard runs after the catch to put his team up 3-1 (Yaron scored at some point). Yaron never threatened again and Feit tacked on a score with a beauty of a one-handed grab by Daveo at the 20 and a race to pay dirt. Much like in the early game, the demoralization of the losing team was capped by one final insult – a pick 6 to end the game. Megatron puts his mark on the game by giving Yaron one last stat. Feit Club climb to 1-1 and the 193 are still looking for a win.
 Credit to Feit Club for winning as a team. Mighty rotating out for a full set….just like someone who isn’t Mighty. Steveo was really good about that too. I think Steveo was on the sidelines for most of the game 🙂 Sam, giving the fans what they wanted by dropping a lollipop pass that was in the air for about a minute and everyone cleared out for him. C’mon, Sam! Goldberg would have at least bobbled it first! Jewball, however, goes to Feit for giving his team real leadership and a sense of unity – or so it seemed. He was in control of the offense and defense from the beginning. He really permeated that “I got you” vibe and I believe his team were motivated by it. Feit Club seemed to buy in this week…and the league is on notice for sure. Besides the precision passing, Feit made some critical defensive plays as well – none bigger than stopping Yaron from tying the game by batting down a nice pass to Mo on a cross in the front of the endzone. So, Feit, Jewball for you. Next League game – one month from tomorrow!