Even with AI, the internet, and the myriad of research tools at our fingertips, we still live in a world of unknowns. Everyone likes to speculate; predict outcomes, even bet on them. But no one knows. Human beings are still autonomous and spontaneous and subject to volatile shifts in mood, perspective, and objectives. Our whims change by the day – sometimes by the hour. So when I asked that Pray be in charge of Jewball – and – in many ways – left Jewball (my precious – I’m Gollum) in all of your hands…I speculated that things would carry on smoothly, I predicted that Pray would be the right leader to keep the Jewball flame burning bright and – in our own way – burning eternal.
But you never know.
You don’t need me to tell you that Jewball is standing strong. That it’s on fire in all the best ways. Did we take hits this season? For sure. The weather kept us from the one thing we need most – football games. Many key players got hurt. Some of our favorite Jewball characters checked out. Leagues gonna League. It happens. JBFL regardless and for real. I saw all this happening from a distance. Not once was I worried. I could tell we were thriving. TBI has never been better. Not a knock on PJs. He would have been part of this had he chose to. It just gets better every year…that’s called experience and technological advancements. Pray was so the right man for the job. Clear as day. We live in an age of Jewball iluys and phenoms and prodigies. Everyone seems to come in young and fresh and avid with so much polish and wisdom. It’s one reincarnated Jewball soul after another. There is no other way to explain some of these Rooks. Pray – now a seasoned Jewball Vet – is in YEAR 1 of this job! And he’s such a pro. Imagine in 10 years! Which sort of brings me to Sunday and the reason I am even writing.
Pray did ask me to write, but after Sunday’s game…I really wanted to. My heart was spilling over with so much awe and appreciation for the world we built. My mind was supersaturated with expressions that I had to share like an incandescent billboard. Starting with a feeling of pure primal gratitude – that at 48 I’m still playing the game. That alone. A miracle in its own way. And like I said in the last recap I wrote – I believe (and in many ways know) that I have merited to stay healthy because I have merited to be playing. It’s a circle of kinetic spiritual energy that continues to pulsate. God runs the world. God runs nature. For now, God wants me to play football and be one of you. Otherwise, it doesn’t really make sense. Next, to know that the field is where we reunite. It’s our makom mikdash (a sanctified place – sanctified by us, but also inherently). We commit to a pilgrimage every Sunday morning. The field is where we gather and the game is the ritual. Not a cult, but there is something devotional about it all. Especially the ingathering bit. I ran into some Jewballers over my first Shabbos in town. Mostly vets who hadn’t played in a while. Marino, Sig, Hackel, Fox (Star’s dad). Of course we talk football and Jewball, because that’s what it means to be a Vet. It’s part of you. And that part longs so much for the game. Which is exactly why you never quit or hang ‘em up or retire. The game must be violently ripped from you. You don’t relinquish it by choice. I didn’t want to see the current roster of active Jewballers in shul. Or on Central Avenue. Or at a kiddush. The field is the sanctified ground. That is where we gather. That is where we reunite.
And so it was. Yaron picked me up on Sunday morning and off we went to play in the annual rite of passage we call Vets Rooks. Here is where I would maybe write about how meaningful Vets Rooks is. But I’ve set the stage enough. Our Rooks are so locked in and committed and get it on such a deep level, my rallying cry polemic would ring redundant. Vets Rooks matters because being a Vet matters. Being a Rook matters. I used to need to explain why. Unnecessary in 2026. You see what we are. You all know why.
The pre-game drama – as there always has to be – was do the Seniors have a team? Jordan was going to be in for the game having been inspired by Singer and flying in for VR, but the big story was the new additions of Tabak and Gronk. Jewballers of 10 years now! Congratulations! An incredible milestone. With G-d’s help, by everyone! The drama involved Gronk being out, TBD being out, MK being out, Steve-O being out, and Mighty threatening to be out if his kid’s hockey game was on. After driving the Commish (and Juniors’ Co-Captain) crazy, it was decided that Mighty was in, Rabin (the most Vet of all Vets) was going to QB, and the Seniors would fight with the personnel they had (Rabin, Mighty, Daveo, O, Kut, PJs, Jordan, and Tabak).
They would face off against their fellow Vet Juniors team lead by Pray and Yaron and comprised of a savvy battle tested crew of Logan, Legs, Prime, Storm, Goldberg, Vegh, and Zada.
On paper, many would say the Seniors had no shot. Rabin hadn’t won a big game as starting QB since VR 5 years earlier (crazy how time flies). PJs hadn’t played a game all season. Technically, neither had Jordan. Kut was a little banged up as he always is this time of year after laying his body on the line for Jewball season after season. But Daveo got that motor. O was in the best shape he’d been in for many years. Stella just keeps getting better and was highly motivated in his Seniors debut. And Mighty is the reigning MVP having another MVP caliber season. Any given Sunday.
First of all, an ode to PJs. Few hear the VR call like PJs. Klink hears it, but, alas reality. Singer hears it, but, alas caution. PJs hears it and it is irresistible. Reality is a construct. Caution is thrown to the wind. To paraphrase the patriot Nathan Hale quoted as he marched to execution, “My only regret is that I have but one body to give to Jewball.” PJs has already given his body to Jewball. He is credited with ushering in the Renaissance, just when the Golden Age was fading to black. He took a long hiatus due to family and learning and lack of a game-appropriate wardrobe. But he came back. Participated in the Revolution. Was a star of the Revolution. Pioneered so many aspects of Jewball that are still enjoyed today, including producing and hosting the first bunch of seasons of TBI. But damn does that kid play reckless. So. Many. Collisions. None more monumental and terrifying as the one between he and Prime on Red Sunday. Knocked unconscious. Ambulance to the field. Real damage. Real consequences. The need for real healing. He took the time, played occasionally, but became more of a figurehead in Jewball. Few remember well his playing days. Despite these risks, it was VR Sunday, and PJs heard the call – like many hear the call – but, unlike many – PJs answered it. He came out and battled and showed everyone what it means to be a Vet. Of course Yaron promptly threw a bullet pass directly at his head from point blank range. PJs, you are an inspiration. Some say what you are doing is dangerous. What about your mental health? I mean, that’s valid. But….Jewball is also needed for our mental health. It’s a tough question with no easy answer. I just know you inspire me. Thank you for being my Jewball brother for so long.
The game started with a 3 and out for the Juniors. A good question to ask was – with Cool Yaron dead – did it make sense for Pray to start? The Commish was having another dominant season. But there is that respect thing and Uncool Yaron had been playing pretty well. The problem being that the Seniors had beaten the Juniors the prior year because Yaron was way off. This game started with Yaron being on at QB, but Pray being unable to get a handle on his passes. Three drops in the first few Junior possessions. The Seniors were not doing much better. Unlike in last year’s VR Finals, Rabin was able to grip the ball and throw it, but – even with Solo canceling last minute – Legs and Zada were fierce and pressuring him (3 sacks on the day combined). Neither offense was moving the ball. One can credit good defenses, but it was also bad offense. Drops and play calls that didn’t work. Finally, the Seniors broke through. Option play to Daveo and Daveo chooses to keep the ball, reverse field, and down the sideline…cuts to the middle. He could…go…all…the…nope, Pray tracks him down. Fat boy can run. A few plays later Rabin throws a beautiful pass that no one really knows who it was to, but the flight of the ball was a marvel to behold. It strikes a slanting Daveo right in the hands and Seniors have a 1-0 lead a few minutes before the half.
At that point Yaron decided to stop passing to guys like Pray who were only good for drops and start running the screen game. It worked. It was Prime Time. Even with Daveo and O playing an aggressive middle and pulling flags. Even with Jordan and Tabak sealing the outside and taking on a slew of bruising blockers….the Juniors played very effective bully ball. Well designed and executed screens are hard to stop. Prime is hard to stop when he is amped, and he was amped for VR. He called the Seniors soft and weak over and over as he thundered downfield, picking up yards and first downs. Yards and first downs. Like incontinence, it was a problem the Seniors could not solve. The Juniors found their confidence and scored twice (Pray and Storm). The Seniors offense sputtered to a halt. Besides the one obligatory gorgeous throwback completion from Rabin to Jordan (Est. 2004), the Seniors never punched back. They had opportunities. Short Fields. Tabak – head on a swivel and providing excellent corner play – picked 2 sideline passes intended for Pray to drop. But nothing materialized. The game ended – as it always must – with some controversy as the Seniors hoped to tie the game and maybe send it into OT, but Storm beats Jordan on a slant at the 5 and scores to make it 3-1 as the clock expired. Juniors advance and avenge their 2024 Season VR Semis loss. Jewball to my Assmen, Cronies II, and BLOP brother Stormy for the 2 scores and the intensity. Guy brings it and sets the pace every time I see him out there.
I can’t say I know enough about the actual back and forth of the Rooks Semi-Finals Game. Here is what I do know: Mid-game, Pray yells over to DK, “Why are you trying so hard? You know the game is gonna end in a tie.” A joke. A premonition. In both. It’s been the Freshies v. Smores minhag for a while. Or at least it feels that way. I know that every time I looked over, I saw Avenger and Dachs taking shot after shot. The kids air it out. In contrast to the Vets game which was mainly runs and short yardage plays, the Rooks were taking big swings. The only play I can remember seeing was Landy make a great catch. I saw him make an even better one this past Sunday. The dude in the Seattle Seahawks ski cap can ball. The final score was 4-4. The game went late. There was regular overtime. There was college overtime. Eventually there was I gotta go time. Before I get to the finals, as VR is a day where we count our blessings and realize how lucky we are to be Jewballers with a proud past, an awesome present, and a bright future – where we remind ourselves that Jewball is an exclusive club, but not a closed one. We realized long ago that our strength is in sharing our universe with new blood. Because…doesn’t it seem like every time a new Jewballer arrives and buys in…it was like they were here all along? That’s called destiny. Don’t fight it. Don’t doubt it. Save your cynicism for other aspects of life. It’s warranted in plenty of places. But not by us. Our Rooks have been off the charts these past few seasons. People and players. I’ll just say their names and let the consonants and vowels sing their praises…cuz you all know how insanely blessed we have been: Blitz, Dachs, Daxxy, DK, Ernie, Opes, Stats, Zinn, The Rook, Avenger, Berk, BZ, Kagan, Landy, DJCP, Schiffer, and Spiegel. Of course there are more – but these were the guys who played in the game. Who celebrated the holiday. Who took part in the ritual. We get on the Rooks because they suck and we want them to lose and be humbled…but damn, they are so cool and great. Thank you for being here. Your only job – besides playing great football – is to make sure you are Vets one day and beat the Rooks.
I’ll take this to the sidelines for a moment. You never know who is going to hear the call. VR has been a day special guests come out. They know it’s a spectacle. They understand it’s a pilgrimage worth making. I remember being in the middle of the frenzy of Seniors v. Juniors when a statuesque figure strolled onto the field from the parking lot. And someone said, “Is that Jack Ross?” And so it was. Not much else to say, but, was great to see Jack. In general, but especially on VR Sunday…because it’s not just an appearance. It’s a meaningful appearance. Thanks for coming out, Jack. LGM.
Word had come down on Saturday night that Lego had sustained an injury playing football, I think on Saturday night. Somewhere. Monsey. Lakewood. Who knows. An ankle. He tested it, but there was too much pain and he was out now for VR. The QB depth chart for the Freshies is, well, deep, and Avenger stepped right in. The Captain depth chart was also apparently deep as Lego had replaced Logic and I’m not sure who replaced Lego. Maybe no one did, but who needs Captains when you have beers. The beauty of Jewball is ROY is an all encompassing award. And while you got Avenger, Berk, DJCP, Schiffer, Landy, and Spiegel making plays on the field this VR Sunday, Lego makes sure to quite literally say hold my beer. The scene was then set. Blue Moons and Pink Juice on the sideline, all of a sudden the weather got cold. There were snow flurries earlier in the morning when temps were mild, but as the finals would begin, things got icy.
No clear winner in the Rooks game, but I checked the stats. DK and Oppen teamed up for 7 sacks. Avenger…yikes. Kagan, BZ, and Landy teamed up for 7 of their own. Dachs….geez. Landy came away with some crazy numbers. 3 TDs, a pick, and a sack. No Jewball in a tie game, but definitely an honorable mention. On the other side, we had Stats putting up 3 scores. So….you both were robbed.
The Finals became a classic VR with all the Vets present playing against all the Rooks present. Just like Mighty (kinda) dreamed of. Was it a VR for the ages? No. Everyone was exhausted and beat. I was pretty ripped on Pink Juice by the second half. I knew I had one role and that was to keep everyone hydrated! Zinn, Ernie (both Rook TDs), and Opes were so battered and broken – was exhilarating to watch them push themselves and stay in the game. You watch these dudes – it makes your run that extra mile in the gym, add the weight, finish the set. Regular normals don’t know. They just don’t know. I wish I could tell you that back and forth, but I’m stuck with the box score and the celebration with Mighty scoring the game winning TD. I’m seeing 3 sacks for Legs. I’m seeing 2 scores for Prime. Let’s give that VR Finals Jewball to Prime for 2 scores, but – like Storm – showing up for VR and knowing that another gear needs to be on display. He hated the Vets when he was a Rook. He hates the Seniors when he is a Junior. He hates the Rooks now that he is a Vet. He loves Jewball with his heart and soul.
Jewball, this Vet is once again stunned by where we are and how God blesses us with phenomenal Rooks year after year after year. Rooks, as much as we want to beat and humble you, we keep showing up and working because we can’t imagine a world where we don’t have the privilege of sharing a football field with you and competing (yes, that’s us competing! Shut up!) Much love to you all. Next season in Jerusalem.

– Jordan