How is this the Week 18 Recap? What evil magic allowed Vets Rooks to be upon us already? Where is Gamora? Why are Leagues?
Seasons come and seasons go. Another one is slipping away just as we begin to clench our fists to grasp it. As you can tell, on this sacred Vets Rook Eve, coming off a Shabbos that featured a Shalom Zachor for the ages by Vegh and a bonding session with PJs in the whipping wind – it’s just moving. There is so much. The first year of the Age of the Enlightenment needs a good breakdown. But soon. Not just yet. For now, that closing fist continues its futile attempt to hold on and not let go. Never let go.
With last Sunday being the final League game and 5 of the 6 played….well….we all know Leagues need an adjustment. Not a cancellation. That’s crazy talk. In Jewball, we talk crazy, but we do sane. Sane is make the fixes. Add a team or two so everyone gets drafted in 9 or 10 rounds tops. Done. Problem solved. Draft night is great. League Weeks are great. Dachs says more Leagues in the TBI episode that for some reason started at minute 26 on my phone. Weird glitch. Leagues will continue for many years.
What flipped completely upside down was the hierarchy of Leagues. I was there in the pre-season. I saw Dachs and Dax and Zinn and Oppen. I knew Stats and Legs and Ernie and Rook and Waldo and Whiskey. I knew what that team was. I knew what happened on Draft Night. I believe my record has me calling them as a super scary team early on. I believed in them. They will probably win the whole thing. I’ve always said that I think only one team stands in their way. I still believe that. And that’s the team that got spanked by them for the second time last week. The high and Mighty team that was celebrating a championship on Draft Night. The team that Goldberg likes to mock from his room at Shady Pines. The team that Prime likes to check from his crib on Xandar. That’s right. Top Guns can beat Roll Tide. But everything with Top Guns this season has been an IF. The wheels came off League Game One and the car remains in the shop. We shall see if they can have their Fast and Furious moment in the post season. For now….it’s reality time.
With Singer still on the IR, Jack auditing Legs’ company, Munch grappling with alligators, Logan nursing his ankle and his son, and B-sh sleeping in his car with his spatula at the ready to come to the Super Bowl BBQ to help…..the Top Guns were once again shorthanded. But, hey, every team is this time of year. Well, except for Roll Tide. They seem to always be at full strength. Dax is out with a back. He can’t walk. He can’t move. He can’t find his turquoise cap. Nah, he’s there. Zipping around. Cutting nonstop like Kut on a Thursday night.
Legs brought his son, which was really a precious moment – so I proceeded to mercilessly curse Legs out in front of the youth. And that was after he bought us a bbq. But….Jewball always first. Violence always first.
Hard for me to write from a non Top Guns perspective. Roll Tide deserves better. They deserve credit. They are really friggin good. They are the best team with the best QB, perhaps bets line, certainly best WRs, and honestly – really likeable guys. It’s a team any sports fan would love to root for. But on Sunday, I was really proud to battle with the Top Guns. There is no reason to do the back and forth thing with this game. The final was 34-7. Top Guns lost in a big way. However, I look at it like this: Considering how many people were out…Top Guns gave them a game. At the half it was 21-7 and Top Guns had the ball to make it a one score game at mid field. Did they score? No. Does the offense need to figure out ways to move the ball? Yes. Dachs and Perla (and Gronk) do the one thing that every QB needs to prioritize better than any other in Jewball: Process the simplest way to move the ball down field. They see the defense. They know their weapons. And they do the math. The result is points and Ws. Dachs scored with the usual RT suspects. Zinn put up 2, Dax 1, and Ernie 1. Listen, you can’t beat that team scoring 1 TD. But…I’m here writing recaps and I get to shout out my team. Daveo was hurt and the guy is pure heart out there. Will battle with him until the chevra kadisha do my tahara on the field. Bert is getting more and more dangerous every week. Feit was a warrior on defense and threw an excellent ball Sunday. Just didn’t have the time or playbook to fully respond to the moment. Dob is my Jewball spirit animal. And Mighty is the GOAT. And I remember Salem! He was there! He came out to support. Anyway, bottom line: Love Top Guns. Hate everyone else. Lets win this bastard and shock Goldberg out of his coma.
I think Dachs threw a perfect game. The only incompletions were straight jobs. He was poised as hell. Ran one in and threw 4 TDs. Yeah…so that’s a Jewball.
As our game was ending, I think someone was trolling me saying that Yaron was blowing out Pray in the other League Game, BOP v. Lionhearts. In reality, it was a close one. Zada and Sting each had TDs for LH and Prime has one for BOP. Interesting to note that Storm went TDless so as Daveo tallied for us the other day, with 2 weeks left….Zinn is TD Leader with 25 and Storm is chasing him with 23. Incredible race and incredible season for two absolute studs from this season. All eyes on Rookies game tomorrow.
I caught the final Lionhearts drive, which was technically in overtime, but it was agreed to extend the game a bit. If Lionhearts scored it would seal their W. With Yaron throwing from the 14 he powers one to the back of the end zone where Sting is cutting across. Great pass and catch for the game winner. It looked like Sting caught it. Came down in bounds and was forced out, but Prime saw the ball moving even as Sting went out of bounds. So we ran it back (not sure if it was 4th down – meaning, was that Yaron’s final shot if we didn’t replay it?) But anyway…..if there is such thing as Jewball God’s showing us that a proper call was made…..it happened  on the very next play. An even better pass catch from Yaron to Sting – this time at the back left corner of the endzone. Catch. Sting dragged his toes and his balls, and got all 5 in! Now…that’s a game winner. Let’s eat!!! Wait…Jewball first…..I mean….I didn’t see too much of the game but Sting had 2 TDs of the 3 and he made incredible catches in the final two plays of the game to prevent the collapse that we know Yaron wanted to complete. So…Sting….Jewball to you, my guy.
Now Let’s Eat! What a great Super Bowl BBQ that was! I gave all the thanks on the chat….but one more time: To Legs for donating our official Jewball BBQ – it will allow us to have so many great post game feasts! Bless you, brother. To Waldo for the jammed cooler and really good music. Daveo for the gourmet wings and sliders. O and Aliza for the Prime Kuts. Ernie and Salem for the drinks. Salem also for Qing. Klink for the plates, cups etc., PJs for the always delectable PJoppers. And….again….on this holy night of reflecting before Vets Rook 2023 – a night where we prepare to face each other in pitiless combat to secure the ultimate Jewball Prize – a night where we know that just beyond that veil of fierce competition is a brotherhood like no other. A history like no other. A story like no other. Something….as the rabbis say – meein olam haba (a taste of paradise on earth, a taste of the sweet eternal). That is Jewball. As amazing as tomorrow will be in its own isolated compartmentalized segment of time and place…..it is a living, breathing, changing, evolving organism with a vibrant unified soul and the heartbeat of hundreds who have traveled the path before us, with us, and will travel it in our name when we are gone.