The Jewish week runs Sunday to Saturday. This we know.  The NFL week runs Thursday to Wednesday. This we also know. But when does a Jewball week start and end? I’m going to suggest that in this era of the Enlightenment, the first day of the Jewball week is Wednesday. Sign up closes out Thursday. Teams are posted Friday. The game is played Sunday. And the week ends with TBI and – hopefully coming soon – a football game at night to put close things put. Wednesday we start again.

If this is true, Week 15 began Wednesday morning when we gathered for the bris of Right Ted Fred. The week starts on fire. A table of Jewballers showing up like we do. Of course the usual suspects were there, but, like we said….Roy gonna Roy….and Zinn has show over the course of his short career that he doesn’t just get it – because all our rookies get it – but he wants to be an exceptional leader in our midst. Also shout out to Prime for being present on the Zoom.
Sign up was locked out Thursday night and we had 28 in plus a 2 person waiting list. We did not know what was in store…
Stella dropped first, late Thursday – even before teams could be posted. No problem. Oren jumps in. Stats remained on the waiting list. And he was needed. Because the plague struck Saturday night. Over the frosty hours from sundown to sun up, Vegh had contracted diphtheria and barely had enough strength to post a 6am SOS. Stats jumped in. Meanwhile, Dax was having such severe delusions from his 107 fever that he thought he played in the game. Just kidding. But he did think he told his wife to tell his cousin to tell my cousin (not Oren –  the cool one – Ash) to tell Dachs’ wife to tell Dachs that he’d be out. Tom made it out to cover. Tom the man. And finally, we had Gronk suffering from a bad case of Cleatmidia. So he went GM and got Pray to show early and QB.
Bottom line….it was cold and we reverse engineered the shit out of Game 1 to make it happen in true Jewball fashion. And in a way it sucks and in a way there is nothing sweeted. As we will get to in the sentimental 3rd part of this recap, it was my birthday game – my last game at the overripe old age of 44. And as I stood out there with my team of Pray, Tom, O, Stats, PJs, ans Dob – a team that was inconceivable 24 hours earlier (hell, 1 hour earlier), it felt meant to be. And we had a real test. We had lost our number 1 receiver and a QB who has a win at will type of season last year. And we were stil facing Dachs with atomic weapons like Munch and Singer. Complimented with ballers – Steveo, Zada, Sam and Bert. Could the newborn team win? Could it even compete?? Find out! In the riveting second part of this recap! Reporting from Dallas. See you in Austin.

With the Alamo in the distance, I cannot in good conscience keep making excuses. It’s Week 15 Recap Part 2 time:
I know what everyone is thinking….did Sam get Jewball? Prime’s first and least favorite child made a really nice catch over the middle and racked up a sack, but it wasn’t enough to get him the coveted prize. But who would get it? Singer scored a TD and blocked everyone who needed blocking. In fact, Singer scored almost immediately. We started at 6s and before Tom showed up to bail out Dax, Dachs showed out. The Rookie QB hasn’t had a signature game in a while and this was the one he was waiting for – where he really put his mark on the game. He brought a lot of passion to this one. So Pray went from not playing to down 1 early on – and with a team that was assembled from good spare parts, but spare parts. Lucky for him, those spare parts were hungry. And stingy on defense. PJs, O and Dobs were relentless and combined for 5 sacks. Although Prays Colors did not pick off Dachs at all, the pressure kept Colors in the game. Before Dachs could score again, Pray found Jordan 45 yards downfield behind the defense and it gave Colors a first and goal. Pray handled business with a pass to Tom – a man who seems to be a QB favorite when the endzone is close. Dachs buckled down and came right back by using his speed and lead blockers to not only gain yards, but to actually evade the entire defense who failed to wrap him up. Dark goes up 2-1. Pray battles back again. Jordan nearly scored a TD after a 68 yard run, but Steveo did his thing and tracked him down like a puma stalking prey. Pulled his flags at 2 the yard loan and kept his team’s lead. Something that doesn’t show up in the box score. But Pray would not be denied. On his next possession, he threw a beautiful over the shoulder 37 yarder to Dobs who – QBs  take note! – does not drop the ball. The dude with deflated ego who loves  inflatables is a money receiver! Pass to this man! The score was tied late! Colors continued to play tight gritty defense and had opportunities to take the lead, but Munch and Bert were keeping Pray from scrambling and the defensive of Singer and Zada bottled up any attempts at screens and slants. On a day where Dachs was playing at a speed that was just a bit swifter than everyone else, it made sense that he would not be denied. With Singer lead blocking, Dachs sprung out to his left and slid past Colors’ defense. Flags were missed and more flags were  missed…..and Dachs scored.  The numbers and the effort gets him a Jewball. I think maybe Pray had ball last and Steveo picked a Hail Mary. And that was Game 1. Game 2 I missed, but I was hoping Rabin would beat Perla. It didn’t happen. Beast had 7 sacks! Chat made it sound like he was next level. Heard the offense was generally meh. Rook had 3 TDs in a win so sounds like a Jewball to me. Correct me if I’m wrong. Part 3 is just some birthday game hakaras hatov. Will report late from San Antonio along with the Week 16 teams.