There was a time, not very long ago, when the recap was what objectively set us apart. Outside of the game being played, it was the main event. Sure, we always had – and still have – the best people, but of all the pick-up games in all the lands….we had this witty, often literary, lyrical reflection of our game to bring it all together in the aftermath. Today, it stands as a record – a chronicle of what we are and who we were, going back almost twenty years. The point being that the Recap was our most obvious distinction, amid a sea of weekend warrior pursuits. We would assemble and play our games – the good, the bad, and the ugly (mostly ugly good), and then we would sum it up, blast some guys, praise some guys, and on to the next. The Recap told us we were special (although I think Oren once sent me emails from a guy who did Recaps of a fantasy league and the guy seemed to be just like yours truly – it was scary). What I am getting at is – although I appreciate that everyone (seemingly) still wants the Recap…it is so far from what makes us special nowadays. We have started to make good on our promises. Not promises to each other exactly, but the promises of the Golden Age and the Renaissance. When we said we should do this and this and this and get together for this and this – and…..we never did any of them. We loved each other. The love was there. Sledge made us a half assed website in 2007 (and it was awesome!) and we did some filming (the records remain!), but we never lived up to our off-the-field dreams. Needless to say, things have changed. I’m not going to rehash once again our magical and miraculous run of the past few years and what guys have brought to the table, culminating with our most mind-blowing milestone to date – an event which – if broken down into its pieces – encapsulates and magnifies every stunning nuance of what Jewball is and has become. That would be our Draft Party. Forgetting the fun factor and how impressive a spectacle it was and the professionalism of all aspects – from the food to the setup to the show – one thing – for me – stood out far and away above it all. That was when Doggy and Marino and Hands pulled up and bore witness to promises fulfilled. I can’t really explain how much that means to me. Because we are living their dreams. We are benefitting purely from their loyalty and commitment to this game – before it had any bells and whistles (besides a Recap). Yes, I know many of you played for years when things weren’t this epic. When we got thrown off field after field and felt like outcasts and nomads – unwanted. Sorry, you can’t play here. Sorry, this muddy patch of grass that no one will even walk past for the next five hours is not meant for you. The emails flying on a Sunday morning trying to re-direct traffic. Leaving a guy behind to tell anyone who may show up “They are going to North Woodmere Park.” And now the Nassau County Executive is at our Draft Party as we play our 4th consecutive season on a turf field. So, I am most proud and moved by the fact that we have given our Vets a glimpse of a manifest destiny. Jebwall has become what we always thought in our hearts we were. Special. I’ve said it before, but my hope is that each of us – if we put in the work and the time – will have a home, ten, twenty years from now in Jewball. That it will continue to figure out ways to define itself and be something more than a Sunday morning game – more than a game with a sweet recap. And now, to that Recap – Week 1 of the 2021-2022 season…
The sun shone on Week 1. In so many ways. Thirty Two players poised to join in the festivities in what could have been the most anticipated Opening Day in Jewball history. Opening Day is always a thrill, but we have really never had so much possibility for greatness (see prologue). But, as is always the case, greatness and possibility are the stuff of analysts and the talking heads of Three Balls In. What happens on the field matters.
The boys gathered at our new temporary home (What could be more Jewball than another opening day testing fate on unfamiliar soil, er, turf. Hewlett High School served its role and felt a welcoming bastion in our pre-season and the good vibes continued through Opening Day. Nary a threat in site. The one tech who approached with keys a-dangling, emptied a garbage can and turned back toward the building. A good sign. May our good deeds continue to merit us good fortune.
The day starts with Feit bowing out at around 7am. The joke was that Rabin poisoned him to take over the Feit Club this season, or maybe it was Yaron to just get the 8am start. Either way, he needed a replacement and Yaron grabbed it. Feit, feel better. I heard horse de-wormer is money. Blessed is Jewball where we can lose a star QB an hour before the game and replace him with another star QB. So Colors does not lose a step and Yaron lines up with Tabak, Sam, MK, Storm, Munch, and a super giddy Zada, who missed the entire last season. Across the way Pray returns to defend his MVP and look to repeat for the first time since Marino pulled off the trick a decade ago. In his huddle is Prime, Maor, Steveo, PJs, Singer, and Beast. I will add that the day was hot. The fans were hot. The dogs were cute. And add to that 2 proud Rooks (Pollack and Burt) staking their claim to a Jewball heritage – fighting for a spot at the line.
The story of Game 1 for the first 3 quarters was….big plays taking each team to the redzone, but no points on the board. That isn’t to say the QBs were deficient. They were…DEALING. Both Yaron and Pray looked as good as we’ve seen them. Throws were precise and with serious zip. Think Sam made the first 1st down of the season with a really nice catch slung by Yaron. Tons of beautiful passes. Just nothing to show for it. Beast and Munch were taking turns forcing the QBs to change their best laid plans. Yaron had a chance with Zada, but the kid who spent last year locked in a basement in Queens wasn’t yet up to the task. Pray twice found receivers behind the defense, but both Pray and Singer could not get enough separation to put 3 balls in. Jordan had a shot after a well-executed fake reverse but Singer tracked him down. It looked like the season would kick off a scoreless tie. But then….one of those drives ended with
Pray firing a bullet from his 19 yard line to the back of the end zone just over the outstretched arms of MK and into the awaiting mitts of his most trusted bird…PJS! Incredible all-hands grab which at the time seemed to be a game winner. With ten minutes left on the clock and Yaron facing an opening day L, everyone got a little more serious perhaps. In crunch time, Yaron found a way to score – going to his man Storm on a pretty out route. Stat! Count It! Yaron was really confident yesterday. He basically knew that his arm was capable of getting the football through the tiniest of windows. Defenders could not catch up to it. Each team took the ball one last time, but neither scored. So…not a 0-0 tie, but a tie nonetheless…no Jewball (for PJs).
Game 2 had no last minute cancellations. And also had 2 venerable, impressive Rooks fighting for Jewball relevance. Welcome Benjy and Bentzy (nicknames to follow…probably). Game 2 did not have the scoring dysfunction that plagued Game 1. Yaron stepped to the plate again (yes, Mighty! I know that’s baseball!!!), this time with his team consisting of Dobs, Salem, Jordan, Logan, Rabin, and Mighty. He faced off against Gronk debuting with Daveo, Kut, Tom, Goldberg, Ross, and Ivry in supporting roles. Good to see the sophomores out there! (Even though Ivry should have caught one per the dude walking the track in a headset he borrowed from PJs)
Yaron took ball first and was unceremoniously picked by Ross straight away. A rough start, but nothing like Gronk’s, The man who just drafted like a genius seemed confused and rusty in his first few sets. It did not last, but the first half belonged to Yaron. Riding the phenomenal hands and elusive legs of Mighty to gain yards and first downs, the third drive was capped by a SCINTILATING over the top TD pass to Logan in right corner. Dark up 1-0. With Gronk continuing to struggle (no completions until late in the 2nd quarter – and Mighty picking him twice) Yaron stayed on point. Yaron called Jordan’s number on the next drive allowing the Commish to run an out and up that was successfully hauled in for 47 yard. A few plays later (and, yes, after a Jordan sure-TD drop!) Yaron went back to Jordan and this time it was caught for the score. Gronk got the ball back and threw a completion! I think it was to Kut! Yaron – being very generous to this Recap writer – called an out and up again (Daveo bit on the first one and Bentzy fared no better) and Jordan broke free for his second TD of the game (honorable mention to Ross for telling me I started my celebration at the 5). At this point Gronk was awake. Colors never had an issue with men being open. They were open from go. Dark was a mess on defense. With Yaron, Jordan, and Rabin playing…well…old and busted – a lot of work was left to Salem, Dobs, Logan, and Mighty. They were doing their best covering up for the miscues, but it was just a lot of deficit to deal with. The only saving grace was Gronk preferring to throw the ball at Beast’s girl’s head than his receiver. Once Gronk figured out his mechanics, Dark was sitting ducks. He began to effortlessly pick the defense part. Same play. Same play. Same play. Ivry or Jack in motion. Goldberg flashing over the middle short. Tom and Kut sneaking out over the middle deep. Jack and Ivry drawing the corners. It spelled trouble. The only question was could Yaron score again and could the clock run out on Gronk and co.
Same play included an option to run and Gronk has perfected the slow motion spin move which makes the flags disappear in a hypnotic way. Logan would say just tackle him. But, Logan, you try tackling someone while hypnotized! Same play included Goldberg pushing Benjy back 2 yards 4 times during a 10 yard run. The result though was back to back scores. One a TD pass to Tom and then a dance and bull rush by Gronk.
At this point the day was scalding. It felt very No Mas out there. We don’t take water breaks (and this idiot brought hot coffee) but it felt like hydration would have been wise. It was the kind of game where you had to give yourself a pep talk to move when the QB said hike. One person who stepped up late in the game after an otherwise quiet day on offense (though adding 2 sacks – must be the new muscle he packed on) was Dobs. When it mattered most – when Dark needed a score to gain some breathing room (and breathing was not easy late in that game) – Dobs had that extra which made the difference. Fighting through defenders and establishing position in the middle of the field, he pulled in a rocket from Yaron and split the defense in the process. All were too tired to chase. Dark takes a 4-2 lead. Because why should anyone get a break – physical or mental – on a 75 degree day, Gronk comes right back and scores, once again to Tom just resting in the middle of the field. After a stop, Colors had a chance to tie the game and push into OT, but mercifully Rabin pulled Gronk’s flag at the 5 yard line on a 4th and long to ice Week 1. A victory for Yaron and a Jewball for Bron. He played like the King.
Who wants week….:)
I’ll be sending the new sign up format – now