Jewball is the island. We don’t let the outside in. We don’t let the drudgery of the real world permeate the white (or yellow) borders of our turf paradise. But, for as long as most of us can remember, we have called ourselves Jewball. A lot of voices out there might have us question the integrity of our name. Without minimizing how difficult it is and has been to be a member of other tribes and backgrounds, it’s not easy right now to be a Jew. I guess then – since we are all one under this banner – it’s not easy right now to be a Jewballer. I have opinions and thoughts and philosophies about what is going and where it might go, but I’m smart enough to know to keep them to myself and to not listen to those of others. Let’s just stay strong. Stay together. Get through this abysmal era one game at a time. It’s interesting that the Jewball season mirrors the season of this war. We are in Week 4 of the war. We are in Week 4 of Jewball. I pray that very soon it will just be some week of Jewball with no anchors attached and our hostages are home and the rockets stop falling and the missiles stop falling and the sky stops falling and there is lasting peace and security for all.
Because of all this madness, we missed our Draft Party (although the TBI version was superb), and I missed my chance to post a season opening monologue. It’s too late for it now. It would normally be an effusive welcome back in the form of praise for all that is Jewball. An ode to our history and traditions – and generally just expressing appreciation for the moment. You know what? Everything may be going to hell, but my money is on civilization pulling through (call me a psychotic delusional optimist), so let’s go ahead and put the blinders on and appreciate. A Jewball season is a sacred thing. The start of it is a holiday. We celebrate the reunification of the world we have built over the decades that this league has existed. Built over decades but flourished beyond even the Oracle’s prophecies over the past five years. We emerged from a Dark Age where Jewball found itself in exile, playing in Croton, to outlasting Croton, and enter the Revolution. And just when we thought we could not achieve a higher plane of existence – because the football was so damn good and we had ourselves a turf field and no one to interfere – we realized that Jewball was not a season, but that….Jewball was life. And I say that in as un-cult like a way as possible. We ascended to our current incarnation. We are in the age of Enlightenment. Where Jewball is a universe without (many) boundaries. It’s on the field, it’s off the field, it’s on days of joy, and days of heartbreak. With too many permutations to name, but they are all awesome. So, if you just got here – you missed a lot, but you came in at a really good time. Thank you for being here. Not just the Rookies, but all of you. In times like these, you sometimes need to remind yourself why life is so precious and so worth living. So worth sticking around for. So worth wading through the muck of it all. I’m sure we all have different individual answers. But, I know that for me Jewball is right up there.
As of this writing, I did not watch TBI yet. Week 1 seems like a long time ago. I didn’t write a recap for my game. It was the only game I followed that week – Dachs v. Gronk. I left the game and headed for the airport. Dachs wasn’t himself. He wasn’t with his choice receivers and nothing was clicking. Daxxy got hurt and the gameplan changed. Gronk was just fine after basically a year off. With Goldberg dominating in the clutch and putting up 3 scores, he gets a Jewball and an extremely strong start to his season. He made some great plays this past Sunday as well.
Week 3 started off in classic Jewball fashion. Love changing fields on the spot. It’s an ugly situation, but always handled with grace, and elegance, and faith. It’s so much easier now with smart phone and whatsapp. Imagine pulling it off in the olden days. That was handled by leaving Klink or B-sh or BD by the field to redirect everyone to some location…where we also didn’t know if it would be open. The best was when you go to that new location and Jesus or Rabin or Ike were standing there to send you on to the 3rd location. I’ll tell you something….we always found a field. Always. Even if it was pathetic…we lay the cones down somewhere and played. This past Sunday was not so bad. Hewlett had lacrosse, we were told. Re-rout to Woodmere, and by the great gods of Jewball it was empty and nary a security guard in site. We are subject to the fates for the next 3 weeks, and then permit season begins.
The games were actually very good – in terms of competitiveness. Unfortunately, for those who love Jewballs and Ws, neither game had one. Both ended in ties. The only thing less fun than recapping a tie is recapping a blow-out.
Game 1 looked like it was going to be a blow-out. Dachs, reunited with Dax, and finding nice chemistry with Ross and Vegh, went up 3-0 early. Pray had a really good team and Pray is really good so it was tough to watch the lack of fight that was being put up. He was joined by Beast, Steve-O, Daveo, Blitz, Goldberg, and Mighty. Honestly, I don’t remember exactly where things turned. I know there was a sequence where Pray scored (gonna guess to Mighty) and on the next drive Dachs threw an ill-advised cross body pass that fell short and Pray picked it, flipped to Steve-O, and a few plays later Goldberg caught a fireball from Pray in the back of the endzone (after having dropped a similar pass a play earlier). All of a sudden, Pray was back in the game. Offense prowess let to defensive dominance and after another TD to Mighty and a Daveo P6, Pray was leading 4-3! Dachs got back to using his bro at will to gain yards, but even more-so – unwilling to take chances – began running for huge chunks of yards. The game went back and forth in the final half hour and was knotted at 9:30. People had to go. The chippiness was getting chippier, calls were being made and not respected, respected was being called but not made, made was being respected but not called – it was just a mess. So, after Dobbs ran one in with Steve-O maybe getting him at the 1, and Mighty scoring a TD after a flag guard call by Ernie (who had a sparkling comeback game – good on ya, mate!), Dax saw the arguing proliferate and he had enough. He’s not hear for the bad vibes. He assessed and said he was done. And he was right. We gotta fight that urge, people. I gotta fight that urge. Bad vibes have always been a part of Jewball, but at the same time they have no place in it. People tell me that it’s about the rules. Better rules. Clearer rules. Are you joking? You’re not, but I wish you were. This isn’t about rules. Callers are gonna call. Arguers are gonna argue. Protesters are gonna protest. Chumash players are gonna chumash play. All we can do is remind and ask and beg…(each other and ourselves)…don’t make bad calls. And if you made one, take it back quickly. Don’t make calls for people. Don’t make calls from the sideline. Don’t make calls from the field if you aren’t playing and just filming (Jordan!). And if a call is made and stuck to – even a horrendous one – for the good of Jewball and so that Dax doesn’t feel dirty when he goes home – respect the horrendous call as if it was a good one. Don’t argue. Don’t even say, Coooooomeee Onnnnn.
Game 2 was less exciting than Game 1, but still well played and ended with neither side claiming victory. Perla proved himself once again resilient. Coming back from a 2-0 deficit. Yaron was on fire in the early going, slinging majestic needle threading passes to the Ice Man and Jack. But Perla is a never say die type and he surrounded himself with gamers like the Sherrif, BK, Tom, Storm, Rook, and Legs. None of those dudes are folding. And so they battled. Perla hit BK deep over Jordan for a score. Hit Tom deep to get close to endzone and punched it in. Game was tied. Perla almost took the lead but floated one to Legs in the endzone and Jordan managed to pick it. Yaron and the Ice Man scored again, but so did Perla and BK. So there you have it. A recap. May they continue. God should bless us. Our families. Our great Jewball family. God should see what we have done here at Jewball and are doing and how we conduct ourselves and operate with pure love and respect and humanity and in that merit bless this world of His, which is currently on fire.

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