The Jewish week runs Sunday to Saturday. This we know.  The NFL week runs Thursday to Wednesday. This we also know. But when does a Jewball week start and end? I’m going to suggest that in this era of the Enlightenment, the first day of the Jewball week is Wednesday. Sign up closes out Thursday. Teams are posted Friday. The game is played Sunday. And the week ends with TBI and – hopefully coming soon – a football game at night to put close things put. Wednesday we start again.

If this is true, Week 15 began Wednesday morning when we gathered for the bris of Right Ted Fred. The week starts on fire. A table of Jewballers showing up like we do. Of course the usual suspects were there, but, like we said….Roy gonna Roy….and Zinn has show over the course of his short career that he doesn’t just get it – because all our rookies get it – but he wants to be an exceptional leader in our midst. Also shout out to Prime for being present on the Zoom.
Sign up was locked out Thursday night and we had 28 in plus a 2 person waiting list. We did not know what was in store…
Stella dropped first, late Thursday – even before teams could be posted. No problem. Oren jumps in. Stats remained on the waiting list. And he was needed. Because the plague struck Saturday night. Over the frosty hours from sundown to sun up, Vegh had contracted diphtheria and barely had enough strength to post a 6am SOS. Stats jumped in. Meanwhile, Dax was having such severe delusions from his 107 fever that he thought he played in the game. Just kidding. But he did think he told his wife to tell his cousin to tell my cousin (not Oren –  the cool one – Ash) to tell Dachs’ wife to tell Dachs that he’d be out. Tom made it out to cover. Tom the man. And finally, we had Gronk suffering from a bad case of Cleatmidia. So he went GM and got Pray to show early and QB.
Bottom line….it was cold and we reverse engineered the shit out of Game 1 to make it happen in true Jewball fashion. And in a way it sucks and in a way there is nothing sweeted. As we will get to in the sentimental 3rd part of this recap, it was my birthday game – my last game at the overripe old age of 44. And as I stood out there with my team of Pray, Tom, O, Stats, PJs, ans Dob – a team that was inconceivable 24 hours earlier (hell, 1 hour earlier), it felt meant to be. And we had a real test. We had lost our number 1 receiver and a QB who has a win at will type of season last year. And we were stil facing Dachs with atomic weapons like Munch and Singer. Complimented with ballers – Steveo, Zada, Sam and Bert. Could the newborn team win? Could it even compete?? Find out! In the riveting second part of this recap! Reporting from Dallas. See you in Austin.

With the Alamo in the distance, I cannot in good conscience keep making excuses. It’s Week 15 Recap Part 2 time:
I know what everyone is thinking….did Sam get Jewball? Prime’s first and least favorite child made a really nice catch over the middle and racked up a sack, but it wasn’t enough to get him the coveted prize. But who would get it? Singer scored a TD and blocked everyone who needed blocking. In fact, Singer scored almost immediately. We started at 6s and before Tom showed up to bail out Dax, Dachs showed out. The Rookie QB hasn’t had a signature game in a while and this was the one he was waiting for – where he really put his mark on the game. He brought a lot of passion to this one. So Pray went from not playing to down 1 early on – and with a team that was assembled from good spare parts, but spare parts. Lucky for him, those spare parts were hungry. And stingy on defense. PJs, O and Dobs were relentless and combined for 5 sacks. Although Prays Colors did not pick off Dachs at all, the pressure kept Colors in the game. Before Dachs could score again, Pray found Jordan 45 yards downfield behind the defense and it gave Colors a first and goal. Pray handled business with a pass to Tom – a man who seems to be a QB favorite when the endzone is close. Dachs buckled down and came right back by using his speed and lead blockers to not only gain yards, but to actually evade the entire defense who failed to wrap him up. Dark goes up 2-1. Pray battles back again. Jordan nearly scored a TD after a 68 yard run, but Steveo did his thing and tracked him down like a puma stalking prey. Pulled his flags at 2 the yard loan and kept his team’s lead. Something that doesn’t show up in the box score. But Pray would not be denied. On his next possession, he threw a beautiful over the shoulder 37 yarder to Dobs who – QBs  take note! – does not drop the ball. The dude with deflated ego who loves  inflatables is a money receiver! Pass to this man! The score was tied late! Colors continued to play tight gritty defense and had opportunities to take the lead, but Munch and Bert were keeping Pray from scrambling and the defensive of Singer and Zada bottled up any attempts at screens and slants. On a day where Dachs was playing at a speed that was just a bit swifter than everyone else, it made sense that he would not be denied. With Singer lead blocking, Dachs sprung out to his left and slid past Colors’ defense. Flags were missed and more flags were  missed…..and Dachs scored.  The numbers and the effort gets him a Jewball. I think maybe Pray had ball last and Steveo picked a Hail Mary. And that was Game 1. Game 2 I missed, but I was hoping Rabin would beat Perla. It didn’t happen. Beast had 7 sacks! Chat made it sound like he was next level. Heard the offense was generally meh. Rook had 3 TDs in a win so sounds like a Jewball to me. Correct me if I’m wrong. Part 3 is just some birthday game hakaras hatov. Will report late from San Antonio along with the Week 16 teams.

Score another one for the randomizer. Week 14 put on a show in the sunshine. Two close games and this recapper played in both. So, no excuse for any fuzzy details. Plus, no drama. So, no excuse for the histrionics. Let’s get to the football.
Prime was latest to pull up after 8, but no one is gonna criticize a man with a newborn at home for arriving late. It’s amazing these guys get out. By new rule: Prime is on Dark so Colors gets last licks. 
Dark takes the ball with Pray calling the plays. He lines up with Oppen, Jordan, Prime, Bert, Stats, and….is that a Singer sighting? The No. 1 pick returns after an ankle injury that kept him out for over a month! He tested it the prior TNF game and was ready to kill in Week 14. 
There was some symmetry in the game as it begins with Dachs trying to float one over Jordan and the ball just didn’t have enough air under it. Jordan reaches up and begin his day with a pick. Dark starts its day with a bonus possession. The possession did not turn into points. Pray was bit unsure of himself as he continues to grit his way to full speed football. Would that self-doubt translate into an L?
Dachs got himself right quickly. With weapons like Dax, Storm, Gronk, Beast, O, and the newly platinum Stella at his disposal, it was only a matter of time. With his patented mix of stop and go outs, Colors got on the board first with yet another Dachs to Dax TD. But Pray bounced right back. First with a P6 to knot things up and 1 and then mixing in QB runs with….QB runs, Pray made it to the red zone where he rolled right and threw left. A 20 yard strike to an open Oppen who made the first TD of his Jewball career look easy. Dark takes a slim lead.
At this point, the shadows had disappeared from the field and it was blindingly bright. The back and forth middle portion of the game began. It was a punch for punch affair. And by punch, I mean both TDs and picks. Was not the cleanest game for our esteemed QBs, with Dachs throwing 4 interceptions and Pray tossing 3. In the midst of the picks, Dachs went to Tabak like Purdy to Kittle in the left corner of the endzone. But, in the end, after a Storm TD – putting him one behind TD Leader Zinn who is out again tomorrow – it was 3-2 Colors with 10 minutes left and Dachs with the ball. As broken down on Praymakers, Dachs made his second underthrow of the day over Jordan and Jordan left the ground to get this one, giving Dark a pulse. On the next play, with Pray running 70 yards down the sideline and Singer turned into Miley Cyrus. Lead-blocking like a wrecking ball. This got Dark down to the 4. Screen out to Prime and Prime battles his way in. A bit of controversy on this one as Dax wound up with Primes flag as both of them were in the end zone, but it could not be determined if the flag was pulled before Prime had three balls in. There wasn’t enough evidence to overturn the non-call, so that was the game tie-er. With time expired we went college and it was Singer time once again. Pray to Singer gives Dark the lead for good as Dachs’ drive stalled. A strong game, but the win goes to the QB that made one fewer mistake. And that’s football sometimes. Jewball to Singer for the sparkling comeback. He does the big stat plays with the big plays that don’t show up on in the box score. Jump on his back and you will have a lot of Ws. Welcome back, brother.
Game 2 was equally tight, with a comeback in store as well. All aboard the Perla train! As White was given team Dark and MK, Rook, Tom, Spira, DK, and Jordan to help him get his much coveted Ws. But in his way is a man who may not be as celebrated or trendy, but brings it every time he is on the field. And by “It” I mean unpredictability. Will it be picks and drops or pure and precise magic. Daveo was Late Man Standing so Yaron “9 Yard Line” Markfeld took ball first and proceeded to start the game just as Dachs did – by throwing a pick to Jordan. But Jordan decided to decline the gift and handed the ball back to its intended recipient Waldo. With the drive kept alive, Jordan kept getting beat, biting on a Yaron run and getting beat over the top by Waldo. Rook started at safety and also got beat early. The result, a bullet to Yaron over the middle and a TD for the Godfather of Jewball. As he does quite well, Perla calmed the situation and began a methodical drive. White Goodman does everything methodical. Riding mostly Rook’s speed and shiftiness, Perla directed Rook to run along the sideline! The advice was sound and contributed to Rook having a 134 yard day and a score. Perla did not complete a pass over 12 yards the entire day. But it didn’t matter. A W is a W and Perla was doing enough to give his team that win. Including rising up along with Kut on a jump ball and coming down with a pick. In addition, he threw two TDs to Tom and a one to Jordan that Jordan slid for and brought in an inch off the turf. 4 scores is usually enough. But on this day it wasn’t. It’s a cliché, but Yaron’s Colors team just wanted it more. Waldo, Whiskey, Storm, Kut, Daveo, and Rabin wanted it more. They played with fire and aggression – blocking down field, pressuring Perla, and pulling flags. Dark was missing flags and getting pushed around. Dark had a second half 4-2 lead, but Yaron and Colors kept coming. TD to Daveo. Bam! TD to Whiskey! Smash! TD to Storm. Stat! It’s Yaron with  the win and the Jewball, as he rallies his squad to victory -throwing 5 TDs to 5 different receivers. Very special day for our man in Panama.

2023 began with the kind of weather anomaly that no longer surprises us. I’ll admit it scares me. Like 50 degrees and sunshine for a League Week 4 at the dawn of the New Year. It was BOP v. Top Guns at 8am followed by Lionhearts v. Roll Tide. This was our first League week of rematches. In League Week 1, Top Guns were coming in high and mighty off the draft, with Feit appearing to have stolen first round talent in each of the first four rounds. They ended up losing to BOP, despite being fully loaded. BOP put up 4 scores to TG’s 2 and the shine was immediately off TG. The rematch was important to both teams. BOP was embracing the full return of Pray (he had played QB only in the prior League Game), but were without Goldberg and MK – each scoring threats and defensive stalwarts. It was certainly an opportunity for Prime, Steveo, Tabak, and Vegh, and especially the Playmaka to shine. Top Guns was looking to get back in the win column and back to .500, coming off a beatdown by the Roll Tide last time out. There was reason for hope. Munch was back in and Mighty was able to stick around for the whole game. However, the no. 1 overall pick was still sidelined with his ankle injury (Epilogue: Singer was back on the field Tuesday night and looked like he is officially back). It looked to be all Top Guns in the early going. The defense was holding, anchored by a Dobs/Salem rush and Munch in the middle. Pray, due to his rehabbing status, and good pressure,  could not break off on his signature runs, and Top Guns was generally doing a good job swarming the receivers. Feit was moving the ball relatively well. As the team is constructed, he is loaded with weapons who can get open – the question is will he find and put the ball on them. And he was. He began the day with some chunk yard runs, but eventually returned to form as a throwing QB and found his guys. The middle of the field was his for the taking and Mighty, Jack, and Jordan were doing their jobs (sorry, Dobs). On their second possession of the game, a drive resulted in a score. A really pretty timing pattern to Jordan in the front of the endzone – the ball thrown on a dime to Jordan spinning to find it waiting for him. Stat hater Mighty secured the extra point and it was 7-0 Top Guns. More of the same ensued with BOP’’s drives ending pointless and TG finding ways to move the ball. Soon enough, Feit lofted one up to Jack who was blanketed by Steveo, but you can only do much against a major height and wingspan advantage. Perfect ball from Feit to take advantage of that, er, advantage and with a Mighty extra point…..it’s 14-0 Top Guns. All is right in the Top Gun world as the first half comes to a close.
I honestly don’t remember how he scored, but early in the second half, Birds of Prime made an appearance and Nova’s dad put up points. I’m assuming it was some sort of nasty catch and run with Prime stiff arming everyone into submission. With  the extra point missed, BOP was back in the game, but Top Guns were still well in control. That is until things went out of control. As we have seen this week in the night League in games of even more significance to their team’s fate…..picks kill. Inexplicable picks hurt. Inexplicable picks that turn into P6’s are devastating.
Steve had been embarrassed by Jack earlier. Steveo has no ego, but a lot of pride. And in big spot, he came up huge. Feit did his job. He delivered the ball to Jack in the middle of the field. Right in the chest. Jack has very good hands, but has been taken to task before about his toughness. Just looked like Steveo out-toughed him on this pass. Steveo knocks a ball free that Jack was trying to secure and it floats up in the air. Pray had been racing in from safety because Pray is not one to stand around watching. And his aggressiveness was rewarded with a ball that floated directly into his hands. I don’t think he even broke stride. Just took it like he knew it was coming and never looked back. Like a bolt of lightning streaking across the sky carrying a football and his team’s dreams into the endzone. With an extra point missed, BOP was down 2, 14-12. Top Guns didn’t hand their heads exactly, but doubt had to be creeping in. Luckily, Feit did an excellent job of regrouping the team and orchestrated a very productive drive. Mighty fought for a first down by catching a ball in a ton of traffic. And Daveo, who had been having a hell of a day on defense, was brought in for offense and immediately made an impact. He picked up a lot of yards for TG on that critical drive and eventually capped it with a sweet TD pass from Feit. Top Guns was back in charge with ten minutes to go. Feit had put up three scores and 3 extra points. With the defense Top Guns has, that should have been enough. But then Tabak happened. Tabak started off a little slow. For his first trick he simply got behind Jordan who was fooled by the QB roll out and run. Pray does not run. He lofts it to Tabak, who was lead nicely and continued the route…..and  there was a late TD for BOP. For his second trick, he streaked across the back of the endzone and caught a bullet of a pass over Jordan right in front of him with arms raised and tipping the ball, full extension reaching up and toe tapping to keep it in. That was the extra point. Holding on to a two point lead and five minutes left, Top Guns had an opportunity to ice the game on offense – as they were getting last possession. Solo and Kut (who was hobbled early on but gritting through it) went into attack mode and it was clear to BOP that something special was happening. The Top Guns offense sputtered to a standstill in their last two possessions. It was going to be up to the defense. With Pray needing to lead his team the full length of the field to take the extremely late lead, he went to work. On the first or second play of the possession, Pray rolled out to his right. Once again, the defense respects the sideline run and focuses on that. And once again…..Tabak is behind the defense. But unlike with his prior TD, which was a 30 yard lofted pass, Pray unloads a katyusha rocket to Stella – coming off the week his daughter was born – and he is tracking this missile in full sprint. The ball comes in. He lays out his hands and makes the connection. There is no one there to stop him. BOP takes the lead. For his final trick, Tabak cuts to the middle of the endzone and bodies everyone up to battle for a pass in the crease and lays down the full smack of dominance. It was the game winner. A tremendous game. Jewball obviously to Stella for the most memorable of New Year’s Day performances.
I will end this recap with the Mighty call stuff. The game was the game and it should not be effected by any controversy. It was heartbreaking loss for one team. A soaring win for another. But this was not a controversial game.
I was shellshocked after Game 1. I probably would have filmed. I probably would have drank more beer. I probably would have stayed. Instead, I did not film. I left early, covered in beer, sticky and stinking. What I did see through the haze of fumes rising from the fallout of Game 1, was Dachs absolutely kicking Yaron’s ass. As he kicked Top Gun’s ass the prior League Game. Now, what the last two games have in common are 1.) Roll Tide shows up and kicks ass. 2.) Their opponents have a lot of talent out. I say this: That’s called good drafting. Dachs drafted talent that stayed healthy and shows up. It’s part of sports. I believe they are the best team, but even if they were not – what always matters is who shows up. You can’t win games on paper. Welcome to my Top Guns world. That said, Roll Tide just might be unstoppable. I know Dax dropped a couple early, but that certainly never mattered. Yaron had nada. Dachs had Zinn. And Waldo making one hand catches (btw, shout out to Waldo who is always good for an old school post TD football spike – a Jewball rarity). And the box score says Dax put up 2 more. The defense is crazy. Oppen Legs is crazy. It’s just an excellent excellent team. If anyone beats them and gets to Doma, round of drinks on me. Dachs gets the Jewball for leading the charge.
Okay, although I feel like much of the steam is lost following the initial drama combined with TBI and some references on the chat…I’ll keep it succinct.
Mighty is Mighty because he is Mighty. Since the day he came to Jewball, he has shown me and us things that were never dreamed of. He was a superstar in a pedestrian game. He found a home with us and he really does love me and us. And that’s one hundred mutual. That will never change. I’d literally take a bullet for him. He is Mighty because he doesn’t listen to bureaucrats like me. He is Mighty because he has a problem with authority. He is Mighty because you aren’t gonna tell him what he can’t do. He is Mighty because Fuck the System. He is Mighty because he always open and just him the damn ball. So….that’s what I’m up against. I sent him a message once upon a time, trying to get across what I tried to get across grotesquely on the field last week and more eloquently in my statement to TBI. I re-sent that message on Sunday afternoon. But…again….if Mighty was gonna concede….he wouldn’t be Mighty. And we need him to be Mighty. So….again….that’s what I’m up against.
Everything I’m about to say is not a chiddush. It’s in long messages to the chat. It’s been discussed. I found them before I wrote this. So, this isn’t me manipulating the story. This is me reminding. This is me reiterating. This is me encouraging behavioral changes based on established rules.
If Mighty was pushed down by someone on route to get Pray on that throw to Tabak, there were only two viable options for him:
1.)     Make sure everyone around you knows you have a call immediately, so the play is stopped dead in its tracks. Once upon a time, I made a rule (that no one cares about) regarding pulling your flag and waving it and all that. No one does that. Fine. But the point remains and the message is there for your review. It applies exactly to this situation. If anyone cares enough to review it, PM me and I will send it to you. We aren’t calling back long completed plays because someone claims they called something before or during the play. That doesn’t mean we are saying they are lying about making the call or lying about the penalty. We are saying that if you want a long completed play called back, you better have been screaming about it immediately. If screaming is not for you, great – don’t make the call. I know Mighty made a point about Tabak earlier in the game and his push off penalty call. That’s a much shorter play (time-frame-wise) than the bomb to Tabak, but it was my impression that Tabak was screaming right away. It seemed to me he knew a penalty happened but didn’t know the name of it, so he was just screaming that something happened. It was loud, clear, and toch k’day dibur. We respected it. Again, I respect Mighty and believe that he said something and that something happened, BUT….we can’t have these long impactful plays happen to completion and only then find out that someone made a call way back before the ball was thrown. It’s just bad for Jewball. It’s a bad look. And to Feit and Mighty…I say…I could be wrong… and perhaps respecting things such as this would make Jewball better. I just don’t agree with that. Give me 2 more seasons of my madness, and then the new regime can fix what I’ve broken.

But now….let’s get to the best option – for most of us, the only option – this is Option 2:

2.)     Realize that the call is weak and inconsequential to the play itself and for the good of Jewball stay quiet, compliment Pray on the sick throw, Tabak on the crazy day, BOP for the crazy comeback, and get back in the huddle with determination to win the game on offense.
That’s it – those are the two options on a play like in a game like ours. I am not just speaking to Mighty here. I know the kind of guys we have. I know the above represents the Jewball sentiment. Join us. 

Week 12 Recap
Not all Bowl Games are created equal. I would argue that the Turkey and Jesus Bowls are here to reconnect us to the game’s purest essence. To bring us back to the schoolyards where we first fell in love with the sport. The upcoming 2023 Bowl is here to remind us of its inevitable mortality. Of it being bound to the calendar and the strictures of time. That no year lasts forever. No season lasts forever. No player. Everything advances. We are all barreling toward some expiration date. Whether we actively perceive it or not – we are always on the clock.
I say this not to depress us at this most festive time of the year. The complete opposite. I say this to inspire us. How fortunate we are to be here and now and together. Think always about what we have built. From the party in Oceanside to Week 12 to the Jesus Bowl to Wednesday Night Lights to 2 days of football this weekend. It’s a lot – and we’d all welcome more. Simple message: Appreciate it with your body, heart, and soul.
Before week 12, I sent out the teams and Rabin saw the teams – he wasn’t QBing – and he messaged me that he would sit out. He had a Chanukah party the night before – was gonna be absolutely frigid at 8am Sunday morning – and y’know….he’s 45 and was it worth it to come out to play WR? So I swapped him with Stats. Once that was done, I messaged him: Listen, we are at an age where we are not gonna be the first, second, or 3rd option. It’s crazy and annoying….but is where we are. If we think coming out is worth it only if we are the main attraction….we are never gonna come out. Our time has passed. Now we just enjoy hanging on when all the other guys our age are sleeping late after their holiday parties. Don’t give in to that voice. Always better to be on the field being ignored than not being on the field.
He wrote back: You’re right. Get me back in.
But it was too late.
Too late.
And that’s really what I’m getting at.
Living before it’s too late. Jewballing before it’s too late. Most importantly: Jewballing to the best of your ability before it’s too late.
This brings me to a big story from Week 12 – for me. I know we try to promote and celebrate and honor the history of our League and all that. I mean, I would guess for newer players – it’s a lot of talk. A lot of propaganda. Dachs is the QB now. He’s lighting up the field now. He doesn’t care that Marino was doing it ten years ago. Or Katzenstien 20 years ago. Zinn doesn’t care about what Yakir once did. Oppen doesn’t care about what B-sh once did. What matters is what is happening NOW. I get it. BUT Jewball is different. Because we don’t just talk about the past. The past is always present. That’s what I’ve seen. No one is more past than Rabin – and he was out there Wednesday night. Yakir played this year. B-sh hosted our party. Klink of the Golden Age got a baby gift as did Stella of the Dark Ages. BD hates Pray.
And in Week 12 of this 1st Year of the Enlightenment, after almost twenty years out of the Sunday game, Avi Spira played a real Jewball game. The past is the present. More to come, brother.
I’ve exhausted the appreciation angle. Let’s talk tachlis. It is a time of New Year’s resolutions and there is no resolution more abused than the resolution to get healthy and fit. But, let’s abuse it some more. Everything we want to do together here is premised on football. I admit, I’ve been a little grumpy lately on the chat. And if I dig down deep and find the root – it’s because – everything else is nice and cute – but when the chat and the extracurriculars start to feel primary and the football starts to feel secondary, it bothers me. When the injuries start piling up – it bothers me. When the football isn’t as good as it should be – it bothers me. And we can’t compensate for that with a party, a podcast, a chat storm, a baby gift, or wings. I get grumpy when it starts to feel like the football is taking a backseat. Maybe that’s just in my head. Just feels very noisy. I don’t want Jewball to become too noisy. This is my fault. I’m the commissioner. If the  noise to football ratio is out of kilter – that’s on me. We either need more football or less noise. Because I feel like the noise is distracting us from the primary purpose of Jewball. To get our asses on the field and challenge ourselves in the game of football. So, as the Jewball year turns to 2023, I urge us all to look inward and work on our football selves. Work on our noise-levels. Work on our fitness goals so that we can be on the field for a long time. So the past can be the present and the present can be the future.
Week 12 began with a request to confirm. Are we really playing tomorrow? There was even a poll. The Dachs bros were looking at the temperature dropping to below freezing and were not having it. Are we really doing this? For once, the chat was stoic. Everyone knew the Daxes were embarrassing themselves and no one wanted to touch it. Goldberg knew from experience and told them to just show up and play. And everyone did. Granted, Stats was late. He does come in from Brooklyn though, so I’ll give him a p- No, I won’t. Stats, you need to come on time. They say that coming on time and warming up prevents drops. Pray once told me that. Not sure if it’s true. I did get you your donuts, though.
It was Pray v. Dachs in the early game and the parking lot gate was locked due to it being Christmas. Thank the Jewball Gods the field was still accessible. Not for us, but for the dudes in red and green playing on the grass blasting Bon Jovi alongside a folding table set with Jack Daniels and a grill. They were awesome. That’s pure.
Yeah, it was damn cold Sunday morning, but the sun eventually peeked over the horizon and bodies started moving – and it becomes about the football again. No one ever regrets coming out (except Kill on Monday) and the mental edge you have for the rest of the day and week is priceless. Turned out the aforementioned cold-weather-weary trio of Dachs, Dax, and Goldberg went OFF in Week 12. Dachs seemed completely unaffected by the weather and was throwing dazzling passes all over the place. This man is the best QB in Jewball right now. Dax mmay have reluctantly shown up to his Bar Mitzvah, but once he did he leined, I mean played so beautifully. The guy did exactly what needs to be done in the freezing games. That is…RADIATE ENERGY. BRING THE HEAT. He did that. And Goldberg. Fucking Goldberg! Fucking Evan Goldberg! The face you want to punch. The voice you want to punch. The personality you want to punch. He has no business being this good at football. Talk about someone who has challenged themselves and came out on the other side of that crucible, just better. The guy was OUT for rain. OUT for cold. And one day he said to himself – I don’t want that to be me anymore. And it’s not him anymore. I filmed some of his exploits. He had 3 TDs and a one handed, well defended, falling down sideline catch that was beyond belief. I mean, Zinn makes those catches. Shuie makes those catches. Goldberg is supposed to be complaining about pass interference when the throw was to the complete opposite side of the field and no one is even near him. How did this guy become a stiff-arming, play-making, power ranking behemoth! Thank you for exemplifying what we want from every Jewballer, Goldberg. Limited noise. Maximum football. Jewball to you.
I’m making it seem like it was a one-sided game. It wasn’t exactly. The final was 6-5, but Pray scored 2 very late (and I think one of them even after the game was over). Zinn put up 2 just by walking on the field. But in a game where even Zinn was dropping passes, it is safe to say that Pray has become Yaron. Guys just not catching his balls. His WRs left points on the field. That is except for my man, PJs. PJs who recently made the move from BOP to Lionhearts, showed why he and Pray are very often connected in the minds of Jewballers. PJs career as a receiver was in many ways resuscitated because of Pray. Pray finds PJs. Pray trusts PJs. And PJs does not let Pray down. When no one was doing Pray any favors last Sunday, PJS kept him in the game with catch and runs that defied reason. Extremely proud of the effort PJs put in on Sunday. Good hands. Good elusive speed after the catch. And he’s becoming a very effective pass rusher. PJs gets an L on Sunday, but I think it’s a game he’s been waiting for for a long time. Way to show us what a comeback looks like.
Game 2 deserves better than I’m about to give it because…..I’m hungry. It was an excellent battle between Yaron and Perla. The randomizer nailed this one. Rook, Storm, Jordan, MK, Kut, and Rabin with Yaron. Prime, DK, E, Ross, Pray, and Tom with Perla. I recall Yaron going up 2 early and perhaps a month ago Perla’s team would have sunk their heads and given in. But we are amidst full swing White Goodman Mania here in Jewball and his teams stick with him. As Perla told him team after the early deficit: I earned this body, and I built this temple with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little can-do attitude… and yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman. Now, Let’s do it.
Right after Jack said that “there is no way he passes to me here,” Perla hit Jack for the first of his 3 TDs on the day. I feel like Perla is the guy that just lives to defy your expectations. If I wrote in the recap that Perla is a very good quarterback, but he has trouble flying, he would drop out of the sky and land on the field the next Sunday morning, look at me with a smirk, and say “He has trouble flying…” then casually take off his parka.
White did bring his team back. Taking advantage of some major confusion by Yaron’s defense – likely due to Yaron having a tendency to be confusing. No one should ever have to ask what a defensive jet sweep is. I’ll fast forward to the very end where we have a tie game and Yaron has final possession before OT. On 4th and 23 he throws cross the field to Jordan to pull out the desperately needed 1st down. MK picked up the next first down by lowering his shoulder into Prime. And eventually it was The Rook in the endzone. On this 1st Day of Christmas The Rook gave to me 3 TDs and a partridge in a pear tree. He gets a Jewball for that. Before we say to all a good night…..
NEW RULE!
The first team to have all seven players present on the field and ready to go will get to take ball last. There is always someone late or a little late. Well, that person now takes away last licks from his team. If every player is ready to go on time – the usual rule then…flip a coin or just decide all friendly. But there is now officially a penalty for the player who comes latest.
Happy New Year, Jewball.

The irony is that the Greeks represented enlightenment, which was very attractive to the Jews. It still is. Logic, reason, aesthetic beauty. Who could argue with that. The godliness in man is apparent. It’s seductive. It’s empowering. Faith is hard. Checking our ego is hard. Giving ourselves over to a higher power is hard. This was the battle of Chanukah beyond the battle on the field. Jewball faces that battle this weekend. With the back to back Maccabowl and Jesus Bowl in brutal conditions. Logic, reason, and the love of our physical bodies tells us to stay inside. But this is Jewball. We are built on faith. We believe that there is a higher calling. We do not do the sensible thing and give in to the pressures of an “enlightened” society. We do what’s difficult. What’s crazy.  Because we know better.

Week 11 featured good classic non League football. Both games were one sided, but it was clean, argument-free football, with players just putting in the work. I arrived to a tie game just in time to see a Rook pick of Dachs followed by a smokin hot TD pass from Yaron to Goldberg. Smokin hot Yaron was the theme of that game. And smokin hot Goldberg was the theme of the day. I filmed much of the game and it was close for a while. Think Storm on offense defending a Stats pick (welcome back Stats!) then tipping it to himself for a TD made it 3-2….but that was the last score Dachs would put up. The Rookie QB had his least effective day as Jewball QB and Yaron had one of his supremely on days where he not only poses for the cameras but thrills the crowd. He piled on a bit with Zinn doing Zinn shit. Taking the ball behind the line with the run pass option and being extremely dangerous at both. Although Yaron could get the Jewball, you know it’s Goldberg.

Game 2 was White Goodman’s Purple Cobras v. Pray. This game took place before the Jets tanked their season, btw. What is interesting about Perla is that he backs up his talk. He says winning is all that matters. He plays like it. He rallies like it. And his team buys in. Pray jumped out to a lead, scoring two TDs with Goldberg and one with Jordan. It was 3-2 Pray and it really looked like Perla would not be able to compete due to his limited range. Not that Ernie was having his best game, but he went down with an injury early and the complexion of the game changed. Rook joined Pray. Perla stopped cheering his team on from the sidelines on defense and joined the fray. Almost immediately, DK tied up the game with a block that turned into a P6.
The game was then decided on the line. DK and Salem v. Sam and Whiskey. Yes, one line is better than other, BUT this is no place for excuses. This is a place to challenge yourself and push yourself to get better and better. Stronger and more agile and more of a threat. And if you aren’t doing that or trying to do that, you are failing yourself and failing Jewball. This is what Goldberg was rightly enraged about last Sunday. Pray’s team failed themselves in Week 11. We couldn’t stop the screens and runs and slants and the simple but reliable offense Perla was running. DK caught 2 TDs and Prime had a run for the ages. It was Prime’s run that put the dagger in his BFF Pray, but it was DK doing everything to assure his team the win. Jewball to DK for an incredible performance.

Want to once again express my awe and gratitude. Wednesday was a continuance of the miracles and light of recent years. We are blessed. See you all at the Maccabowl tomorrow. Dress warm. I’ll bring the coffee and donuts.

Only because Jewball has mutated and spread its tentacles onto the edges of Tuesday nights did Week 10 of this season feel even remotely normal. Before we go further…..Week 10 : ( How are you here so fast? This season feels so new and truly as if its still trying to find its footing, and yet….we begin the 2nd half this week. Half our memories already in the books. Half our stats. Half our stories. The coolest thing about Jewball is that the games becomes blurs fairly quickly – it’s the people and the relationships that endure. Not only endure, but manage to become foundational anchors of our lives. So, while this season seems to (so far) be ill-defined, somewhat chaotic, and still needing its moments for the ages…..then think about the people. Was there Jewball before Zinn was scooting up to the field? Before Oppen Legs? Before Dachs to Dax? I don’t know…..those things feel as pre-destined as anything else And feel as epic as anything else. And they are certainly born only of  this season. Something to think about.
Back to Week 10 itself. As I was saying, while we under-the-radar added a new field to our Jewball pantheon (we played in Greis before, but pre-season and on the grass), it felt like a home game for many of our players who either have been there Tuesday nights to play or to watch. So let’s not miss an opportunity to recognize our blessings. Shehecheyanu v’kimanu v’higiyanu l’zman ha’zeh. We have added a field to our bio. The means by which we got there left something to be desired. Yaron put in the work speaking to Dom. Dom put in the work speaking to Reginald Whitmore Greis III, RWG3 spoke to Kenny who was supposed to unlock the gates at 8am. The plan was perfect! Except Kenny had gone out the night before with Solo. They both had at least 5 drinks. And while Solo could not get up for work the next day, Kenny did get up – just with a fifteen minute delay. That delay had us delayed. Had Mighty doing donuts in the parking lot. And Kut eating donuts in the parking lot. Had a mass of Jewballers congregated and revved up to go for a League week, descending on the field together k’ish echad b’lev echad. That unity did not last long.
The League Week peaked before the game. Our sheer numbers walking onto the empty field on a perfect football Sunday. Guys proudly wearing their team colors. Stretching, catching up, catching, setting up. Mighty screaming “Let’s go” because he had to leave at 9 for a Chumash Play and it was 8:20. The clouds were pregnant with rain and the field was pregnant with possibilities. Could Top Guns minus Singer and Munch even slow the roll of the Roll Tide? Could Yaron not cheat and ruin the BOP v. Lionhearts game? The answer to both questions was a resounding NO.
Roll Tide is a great team. A great team. They remind me of the old MVP teams that played Jewball to practice for the League. Meaning, they were playing Jewball but they weren’t Jewballers. They were mercenaries undercover with us. Now, did some of them become die-hard Jewballers? Of course. You won’t find guys who bleed Jewball lavender more than Snow and Snowpup, but in their time – they were not committed to our game. Roll Tide is. Roll Tide are OUR GUYS! And how cool is that? We have the guys that can win in the League! And they would rather win a Jewball championship than a League championship! Again – let’s take a second here. Let’s take a second and process this. Let’s process this Rabin and Kut and Oren and Steveo and all the guys who very rightly felt second (or third) class for a decade plus….. Shehecheyanu v’kimanu v’higiyanu l’zman ha’zeh!
Before the very last play which Mighty stuck around for, it was 6-0 Roll Tide and Feit had the ball for TG. With Mighty, TG kept it close on defense. On that final play before Mighty ran off, Feit threw a P6 to Rook. The game went off the rails after that. We all knew it would. TG would have needed to have a healthy lead when Mighty left to have a chance. RT is too high octane to not score multiple TDs on an undermanned defense. And so they did. The final was an embarrassing 31-0. Dachs ran 2 in, Dax caught one leaping about 4 feet…I’m sure Zinn put up points…It was a blur of a beatdown. When I dropped off the cookies by Dachs a week ago…he smiled, took them, and said “we are gonna beat your butts.” He knew it. I kinda knew it. But you always hope your team steps up and pulls off the Any Given Sunday miracle. We are going into Chanukah. The weak can beat the strong. The few can beat the many. You just need a miracle. Well, there was no miracle for TG on Sunday. The TG defense could not keep up with the RT offense. But what of the TG offense? A few seasons ago we had a What’s Wrong with Pray era when the former MVP could not win a game. Feit is a fierce competitor and student of the game. There were weapons there for TG. Even with the short handed team, there is no excuse to put up zero points. Unless TG can figure out it’s offense, this is going to be a long, extremely disappointing season for the No. 1 team on draft night. But the season is far from over. We all remember 193 from season one. A winless team that went to the championship. And all it took was hard work, believing in yourself, and coming together as team when the chips were down and everything was on the line. Just kidding! All it took was Yaron cheating! So, let’s get to BOP v. LH.
There came a point in the RT TG game where – at least for me – I started peaking over at the other game. My game had become a $#**show and, despite my QB valiantly trying to motivate our squad to stay focused and in it (I love that trait, btw), my mind was wandering. The only thing that kept me focused on our game was the prospects of violence. Otherwise, I was trying to get a sense of the other game. My sense was – BOP and LH were locked in intense combat. You could just feel the waves of energy emanating from their half of the field. The intensity was palpable. It looked like a great game. I saw people doing great things. Steveo, Vegh, DK, Storm….I spotted some great football plays. I was jealous. But then my game mercifully ended and I got to wander over and speak to guys on the sidelines. I learned there was nothing to be a jealous of. The “better” game was ten times the $#**show of my game. E wanted out. Yaron’s team looked embarrassed to be there. Kut and Tabak were having seizures. People were making inexplicably bad calls….seemingly on purpose and out of spite…and were being encouraged to do so by their teammates. Yaron had the glazed over look of a man in freefall, resigned to a horrible fate, and having no idea how to turn that around. Pray was completely misya-aish as well. No one wanted to pull the plug. No one knew how to end their own misery. Everyone knew this was a game that needed to end and be fixed in the postmortem. And so…..that is where we are. The game ended in a tie. The game ended and the chat handled it’s business. Here is my commissioner’s take – even though I’ve written on this topic many times before – and it seems to change nada. It changes nada because the same people don’t change. And until people actually change – these are just words. It’s the same people who say “we need better rules,” “we need clearer rules,” “we need more rules,” or even “we need refs.” All not true. Arguers will argue no matter what. Complainers will complain no matter what. Conspiracy theorists will conspiracy theorize no matter what. Chronic victims will cry victimization no matter what. So….it’s not about anything….but….YOU! It’s what you do. How you react. How you behave. How much dignity and pride you do or do not have. How much you want to win and in what way you want to win. How you handle a call made by someone on you or a call you think you can make on someone.
The one thing that maybe got lost in the rhetoric above is this line: How much you want to win and in what way you want to win. This is really everything. If you win a game, but you know you lied about a call to get there….is that really something you feel good about? Or that you ruined the integrity of the game to get there…does it still feel like a win? I can’t enjoy wins where I played badly! I can’t imagine enjoying a win where I got there by either purposely committing a non-called penalty or by making a call that I didn’t really need to make or believe in….and then yelling and screaming about it like a spoiled child! Guys! Win in a way you can be proud of! Lose in a way you can be proud of! Leagues aren’t a mess. Jewball isn’t a mess. Some of us are a mess! As soon as we clean up our mess, the games and experience improves exponentially. Play the game the right way. If you got beat…..you got beat! If you missed a flag….you missed a flag! If you worked your ass off for an almost sack…..your worked your ass off for an almost sack! If you gave up a 1st down by an inch….you gave up a first down by an inch! And so on and so on and so on. No one will respect your calls if you don’t respect yourself.
Jewball on the week goes to Ernie. While everyone on Roll Tide played butt-beatingly well, from my perspective, it was Ernie snuffing out every single opportunity TG had to make it an interesting game. He seemed to have pulled every flag in a big spot. Guy can ball.
Half the season behind us. Half the season in front of us. Let’s finish strong and write some amazing stories together

If it wasn’t for the fog of sickness which unexpectedly descended onto my week, this recap would have been posted asap. Because my team won and I played well. Those are the recaps that you can’t wait to get out there. And it’s actually not fair to some great players from Week 9 that I will discuss that I’m sneaking this in late on a Saturday night on the eve of a League Week. Moreover, I don’t think TBI made a big enough deal of the the storylines I will get to. Though I did watch TBI in prime fever dream sweat storm so I could have missed a lot. I mean….was I hallucinating or was Vegh the guest?
Week 9 was not exactly Red Sunday but I think it’s safe
to say at this point that the correlation between League games and injuries is no coincidence. No, I’m not saying Leagues are a mess….and I’ll be straight….the chorus of “Leagues are a mess” is so tired and lame and not true – and if you are part of that chorus….check yourself. Maybe the mess is not Leagues. Leagues are great. I’m extremely proud of last week and extremely excited for tomorrow.
First things first, I’m proud of the battles. I’m proud that my QB, Yehuda Feit, had a game he needed to have. He lead his team. He found his receivers. He spread the ball. He was poised. He was accurate. He put up points. He helped us win. I’m proud of Yaron who – we will get to the game – mounted a furious comeback that truly could have imploded the Top Guns if it had fully succeeded. I’m proud of the dudes who got hurt and played hurt like Singer, and Zada, and Storm. Guys who bleed for their teams and face the “realities” of going home with injuries and paying the price all week – only so that they can come back and risk it all again. For what? For the the goddam glory, that’s what! For Jewball. For themselves. Because everyone else walking into #!%n Gourmet Glatt without a limp or stiff back or a throbbing wrist has no clue. Not a f***n clue. So I’m proud to be on this side of the equation.
Of course the king of Week 9 was Pray. We will get to him shortly, but it’s late and I don’t want to forget the essence of why Week 9 mattered. Hopefully I don’t lose patience with this recap and call it a day. The Benjys pizza might keep me up a while.
Game 1 was Leagues, making up for the Week 7 League game between Top Guns and Lionhearts which was canceled when LH suffered every curse in the tochecha at the same time.
Yaron’s squad was still banged up and the LH had to go up against a (more or less) full strength TG. I’ve already spoiled the result. TG did what they were allegedly supposed to do on Draft Night. That’s win. But it wasn’t as easy as it should have been. Once Singer went down with an ankle in a scary scene that thankfully looks like a week to week instead of a season ender – things got a little too interesting. Feit had a ton of completions and scored twice early with Jack. Munch and Dobs kept Yaron in check, but Sting had a rough day letting multiple passes slip through his usually reliable hands. Even with all that, Storm had 2 late TDs and all of a sudden Yaron was driving to win the game. It was a terrifying moment for TG, but the result was a stalled drive..Jewball to Munch and Dobs for being the difference in the end.
Game 2s were compromised by the injuries from Game 1. For Dachs’ team, Zada and Storm became Jordan and Rabin and it was enough to make Pray have a very successful return to Jewball. So let’s talk about Pray for a second. As the guy says in every mussar schmooze…….I’m saying this for me. The week before Sukkos we hear Pray got hurt. Maybe playing football. Maybe building a sukkah. Maybe rescuing Logan and PJs from a fire in Daveo’s basement. No one is sure. How hurt? He’s done for the season. Major tear. He’s spending Yom Kippur in a wheelchair. Surgery to follow. Rehab. Maybe we see him February. Maybe. This is all real and possible. It’s a major blow to our season. We see the ramifications right away. Game quality struggles. Moral struggles. Leagues are mess (just kidding!). Much thanks to Perla for being sent by God to give us a fighting chance in the interim. We were not able to see Pray at QB and we didn’t know when we would see him again.
Here is what we did see. A smile always on his face. A constant positive demeanor. An unbreakable optimism. A relentless drive to be back on the field. A commitment to US. Did he miss a single game? Did he miss a single moment? Did he not film. And cheer. And support? And just allow us to feed off his Prayness so we don’t lose his QB skills AND him! Sure, he may have been there for himself…but tell me every game wasn’t better and didn’t feel more right because he was on the sidelines. Hobbling at first….but then walking…then walking and throwing…and finally on Thanksgiving….playing the game. And then in Week 9 – against all odds – playing Jewball….getting stats, getting a W, and of course getting a Jewball. Guys, everything Pray did since the moment of his injury is textbook role model heroics. He would not be denied. Pray, may you continue to heal and come back better than before. May this injury be the last of your career. May you continue to be an influence on all of us where we can strive to come close to the dedication and loyalty and commitment to our game and family that you showed over the past few months. Prime, I think we all finally get it. : )

Just to give the new Power Ranking leader some credit…..Pray wins on the back of Zinn who put up two scores. The second of which was completely on me. No mercy tomorrow. Want to thank the new blood that came down – they aren’t on the chat, but they definitely shared our vibe – so thank you to whoever brought them.

Game 2 Game 2 was Perla v Yaron and it ended in a tie. It’s almost as if it never happened.