The categories below are made to give respect to those who we believe have earned the highest Jewball achievements of the season. While some polls are limited to choices, some have write in ballots. Please consider what these players do on the field, what they do for their teams, the stats they accumulate, and how they impact the game each time they walk on the gridiron. Please note that the overall MVP award is a distinction given by our commissioner during the season recap (although he does consider the vote). Please only vote once. Make every vote count!! (Note: Most performance categories carry a 10 games played minimum)
Vets – Rooks Recap
Yaron Markfeld | 8:43 PM (0 minutes ago) | ||
to me |
Vets Rooks Recap
I have previously waxed effusively on the virtues of Vets Rooks. So this recap will be mostly about the plays made or missed on the field. And speaking of missing, let me begin by shouting out those I missed on VR Sunday. Besides my Vets who are long gone from the game and all but forgotten, I wish O was there. I wish Singer showed up. I wish Munch was there. And Prime, and Goldberg, and Gronk. My Jewball heart belongs to the Vets. Not because they are better people or better friends than the Rooks. But because by definition they have been on this island with me the longest. And the more time on the island, the better. As I told them before we lost…we already won.
(I wrote the above about three weeks ago. Now, I write after Week 20, as I pitifully try to recap the ancient past. And I do so out of a sense of obligation. To all you fine people who bring it every week in so many ways. But, I cannot pretend I did not see the post VR Championship episode of TBI, which astutely pointed out that VR has lost its luster. It likely has. I think recaps have also fallen from their once lofty pedestal. Neither because of diminished quality of the product (in my opinion). Both, I believe, because they no longer serve their initial need. VR was instituted to bring electricity and freshness to a long season that was starting to stale. Recaps were meant to make sure that Jewball felt unified and lend it a dignity and import. To make it matter. Well, twenty years later – freshness and electricity are not the issue. In fact, some might argue that VR is starting to BE the end of season staleness. It could be it needs a reboot. Perhaps in All Star Game form. Not sure. Not next year though. Think next year will have juice. Seismic realignment of the classes. Plus we are tied at 3-3 over the VR winners since the Revolution. We need a tie breaker. After that….we can think about changing it up. As for recaps, I’ll keep at it – but – with the chat, TBI, and video, recaps are like waiting for your local TV news at 8pm to break major stories. But, I will persist – if for no other reason, but not have Yaron and Kut bombarding me with guilt-inducing stickers)
The Vets game – Juniors v. Seniors came down to a returning Vet who both showed up and missed the game. Way before I knew how last week would go, I am on the record (aka TBI) as stating that the player I am most impressed with this season is Snow – the MVP. And subsequent to VR Sunday, Snow’s Crocs beat my Cronies – so this may be coming off as bitter. It isn’t. It’s a recap. It’s what happened. I really wanted the Seniors to win. We had a great shot. Even with Singer opting out (though – for the record – he came out and DID PLAY ONE SNAP! ), the Seniors has enough to beat a Junior team that was without much of their marquee talent. Yet, minutes before the game, the Seniors lost their QB. Snow had a rough night and couldn’t make it. Tabak pulled the same vanishing act for the Juniors, but was replaced by Storm. And he’s not his team’s QB. Rabin’s gonna beat me up for constantly beating him up, but the addition of Snow as QB was supposed to be the big change the Seniors needed. A QB with championship pedigree, who can move the ball with both long and short passes – accuracy, a game plan, and a Veteran’s savviness. But, he couldn’t make it. So Tom stepped in. And immediately did himself a huge favor with a P6 on the first play of the game. Yaron doing Rabin things. Sorry, Bin. But the good times for the Seniors did not last. Tom threw 2 picks in his only 2 sets at QB. The 2nd of which gave Yaron and the Juniors the ball on the Senior 12 yard line. In Jordan’s first official game back from injury, Yaron wisely tested his timing and agility and exposed a weakness. After throwing a screen to Storm, which Jordan managed to blow up, the following play was a fake screen to Storm with Zada over the top. Jordan got caught in the middle and Zada hauled in a pass for a score that tied it up. Around this time Snow showed up. The Seniors were saved! After he warmed up with Singer for a while, the MVP came in. And it just never clicked. The huddles weren’t crisp. The passing game never materialized. The hopes of the Seniors were slowly dashed. A late TD pass to Daveo was not enough. Yaron and the Juniors fashioned more of a stable offense. Every time it seemed like Yaron was in trouble, Spira bailed him out at TE. The Vet of all Vets, playing for the Juniors due to his newbie status in the modern era of Jewball, has proven himself time and again this season as sure handed as ever. Anyone ever see this guy drop a catchable ball? I have memories of this guy going back 25 years. Always the same thing. Easy passes, tough passes, bombs, screens, slants, crosses – if it’s catchable, Spira catches it. He had 2 sacks and the go ahead TD for the Juniors. He picked a bunch of first downs as well and key yards when the Seniors were looking for a crack to sneak through and get back in the game. It never came. Juniors win and Spira gets himself a Jewball.
To begin with, say what you want about VR not being the hottest ticket in 2024, but the hype of Smores Freshies remained. And then seeing Rook and Ernie in Smores Crimson gave this Vet chills. Of course seeing the newly minted Freshies play in their first VR was equally powerful. Sherrif, Ice Man, Mike, Blitz, Daxxy, Fox, BK – damn….thank you God….we are living in an era of Jewball wonderments.
The game started in my favorite way possible. Pray to Dobs and the n Dobs with a juke for the ages and a Smore TD. Let’s Go!! Unfortunately for the Smores, that was the highlight of the day. Dachs doesn’t get the love that Pray gets or the hate that Yaron gets. He sort of just exists in the Jewball solar system as a dark star. A star, but obfuscated in some way. I was able to watch him in the Smores Freshies game and then again this past Sunday in the Dawgs BOP matchup. He is so talented. He does astounding things on a football field. Especially when he’s with his brother, Dax. After the Smores went up 1-0, Dachs threw 3 TD passes – one prettier than the next. The poise and accuracy he displays while avoiding the sack is like nothing Jewball has ever seen. Though he’s been prone to the bad pick this season, he, more often than not, makes up for it with masterful point scoring drives. His TD to Dax over Rook in the corner was a stunner. His game icer to Zinn over the middle – zipping it in to a tight, closing window was perfection. After all this praise, I’m giving the Jewball to Dax for scoring the 2 TDs that made the difference. That TD catch in the corner was so pretty. Hats off also to the Sherrif for making some “classic” Sherrif catches – the kind that look like they have no chance, but then he bumbles, stumbles, secures, and makes the crowd go wow. Think VR was Sherriff’s spotlight game. A lot of people finally saw what he is capable of. Played big in a big game. Smores lose in less heartbreaking fashion than last year, but lose nonetheless.
I was overseas for the VR Finals, but of course wanted the Vets to win. So proud of the Vets as they made this a game despite truly overwhelming odds. Even though the Rooks were without some major stars from their playoff game, including Sherrif, Fox, and Ice Man, they still had their big 4 of Dachs, Dax, Zinn, and Oppen (next year’s Smores!). And it was enough. If I recall from the updates Pray was providing, the game was tied in the early going. Beast scored for the Vets, Zinn for the Rooks. But, much like 3. in their prior game, the Freshies only gave up 1 and scored 3. Dachs, once again just so sneaky good, did his thing and scored with Stats and ran 1 in. This time, the QB with as much competitive grit and energy as any Jewballer ever, gets himself a Jewball and goes 2-2 as a Freshie – winning back to back VR Championships along with his unprecedentedly remarkable class. Rookies, I can’t stomach us Vets losing to you arrogant pieces of garbage, but….when I take a breather and a step back…and remove my player helmet and put on my Commish cap…I am completely dumbfounded by your presence. We Vets want to beat you and will beat you – that won’t stop – but we thank you so much for joining us. For making us feel that our commitment to Jewball was worth it. For letting us know why we kept this going for so long. It truly does seem like we everything we built was for this moment. To welcome you here. So welcome, and we’ll get you next year.
WEEK 13-14 Recap
As we barrel toward another Jewball season finale, we steadily begin to tighten the bow on a season that somehow is three quarters complete. The extraordinary beauty of the Jewball season is that it’s become all beauty. From the rookies added to the chat as if thrown into a pool of unlabeled, to the pre-season sunshine and shorts, all the way to the devastating final recap and the naming of our 2023-2024 MVP. It’s all just so damn beautiful – you can hardly stand it, like the stalker mused in American Beauty while watching a Gourmet Glatt bag rise and tumble in the whirlwind. All that taken for granted, there is something uniquely special about how our seasons wind down. I wouldn’t say we save the best for last, but I would say that much of our best times arrive with the culmination of our calendar. Whether it be the Vets Rookies match up (now a tourney), the climax of Leagues (now heightened as 2 of 4 teams will be eliminated from playoff contention), or the legendary Super Bowl BBQ, there is a concentrated awesomeness permeating our final quarter. And it has arrived. Hold on tight.
But it was more than that – for me – for us – as I sit here trying (struggling, I admit) to get this recap out. It feels both like tying up a loose end and connect the pieces of a fraying moment. A moment where we are reeling from a lack of football. If Jewball is life, then the football itself is chayenu v’orech yamainu (our essence and the length of our days). Without it, we gasp for air, stretching our arms from beneath the suffocating waves hoping someone pulls us from the barrens. We unravel. We clamor for a lifeline. And I’m hoping this recap serves. And of course, I relish that opportunity. Mighty is wrong in stating that the recaps used to be better. I think what he subconsciously means is that the recaps used to be more meaningful. Not because of their content or erudition, but because they once upon a time literally meant more to Jewball. They were the thing that separated us. They bridged the gap between Sundays. Told our stories as if we were worthy of the myths crafted by the bards of yore. And maybe….just maybe….we were. Our story is currently in its infancy. Believe that. But the recaps were no better. Thank God they are just needed far less in the Enlightenment as the gap has been bridged by so many phenomenal developments.
The above being the case, I am particularly well positioned to write for this moment – as few have been starved of football more than this recapper. I think I went down in Week 4. That’s 12 weeks ago (which is 900 weeks in Jewball years). Haven’t played a single game with my League team. Shout out to my QB. Gronk, always thinking of you and your comeback. Let me tell you (Gronk, and all of you) how you get through an injury, a surgery, and a rehab at the age of 45/46. Easy. Be a part of something as indisputably enchanted as Jewball. Waldo knows. Sting knows. Pray knows. Salem (I remembered!) knows. A lot of guys know. Talk about motivation, Jewball. As creepy as this sounds, the last thought you have before the anesthesia washes over you is Jewball, the first thought coming out of it is Jewball. It’s the thought in the early stages of PT when you can hardly move. It’s the thought on the treadmill as you progress from slow walk to sprint, on the mat stretching and working to resurrect muscle and bone and connective tissue, and in the weightroom as you shift into the gear of violence. It’s your faces, Jewballers. Your faces. Your spirits. The Jewball aura which has a power and force so massive that it has generated a gravitational pull. We cannot deny what our eyes see. Dare I say what our hearts know.
Since we are going to be here for a while, I will take this opportunity to thank you for making my 46th birthday so un-46. Jewball is timeless in that it allows us to stand out of time. Time is of this earth. Jewball is composed of the ethereal stuff that God sprinkled here and there into creation to make life tolerable (survivable). It seems to me we’ve commandeered much of it. However, we are slowly but surely spreading it as well. Which I think is part of the reason for our good fortune. We do not horde our treasures.
So, again – the theme being my personal hakarat hatov toward all of you as I finally join you back on the field this Sunday – thank you for getting me through this rough season, but also through half my life.
Which brings me to this coming Sunday and the holiday we call Vets Rooks. It is our v’higgadata l’vincha (the commandment to tell the story of the exodus to your children). Every year, the same story told, but with new and fresh insight and innovations. I’ve been talking about Vets Rooks now for 18 years. It is a celebration of our game – all those who played before and those who have just joined. If recaps are meant to tie Jewball games week to week, season to season, Vets Rooks is symbolic of the grand tapestry we have been weaving for a quarter century. It’s the interconnection of strands representing stories, personalities, talent, heroics, cowardice, success, failure, victory, and defeat. But more than that – a tapestry – though quite overused in the metaphor department – is equal parts art, decoration, and chronicle. Vets Rooks is art because of the creative energies we inject into it. Just think of Sophomores becoming Smores and treating the field like a fashion runway last season. Vets Rooks is decoration because for so long it was the game that players came back for even amid failed or spotty seasons. It has always had the IT factor. It’s the game Singer flies in for. It’s the showcase for our league. And, most critically, it’s a chronicle. Because the Freshies become the Smores and the Smores become the Juniors and the Juniors became the Seniors. It’s a trackable narrative. An inscrutable progression of marvels and wonders and blessing beyond comprehension. To see the Freshies come in. For them to graduate. And graduate again. And finally reach a milestone that allows one to look down from the hilltop. To reach a status of Senior Veteran that never expires. A decade of Jewball time served. Ashreinu! How lucky we are! How fortunate are we to have spent such a significant portion of our lives as part of something so exceptional. How few things in life reward like Jewball in terms of the efforts put in being reciprocated in equal or greater measure. But, like I said – and this is where Vets Rooks “matters” – it’s the efforts put in. You gotta earn it. You also need good mazal. Really good mazal. Sticking around a game for ten years is something that few merit. When I take the field this Sunday with Snow, and Mighty….Steveo, Kut, Daveo, PJs, Tom… friends, teammates, truly brothers – my heart will be overflowing with gratitude and amazement. As all your hearts should be. The zechus to be a Freshie! To be a Sophomore! To be a Junior! To be a Jewballer! In your time. In this time. Whatever stage you are currently in, striving to merit the next stage. To play well and be healthy and be connected to our game and brotherhood. To be named even as a footnote in the chronicle. To be placed on the pedestal of these recaps. To account for a mere strand in the tapestry made of a thousand strands and counting. Do not take a single football Sunday for granted. But surely not Vets Rooks. It’s our only chag. The only mitzvah is to play like you mean it. The only kavanah is to be both laser focused on winning and competing while at the same time eternally grateful just to be there.
Let us now scroll up on the tapestry as we must tell the tales of how we got here. Working backwards before we work forwards. Week 8, which was postponed due to weather was cancelled when Yaron made sure that no game would be played without him. Pray put in a valiant effort to get a group together on the first Sunday of winter break, but Goldberg dropped, and then the dominoes started to fall. Sherrif said the field would be frozen. Kut bailed to support his hometown of Motown. So there went Week 8 and I believe this will officially be our shortest season since the Revolution. I’m fairly sure we’ve gone 20 up and 20 down the past 5 season. So, a shame. But it’s part of Jewball. As are Leagues, right now. And although we’ve been on a break from Leagues and will continue to break from them for another week, this recap will get us up to date with the high drama and Purim level topsy-turviness that was Game 4 of Leagues.
We begin with a drenching grey morning in Woodmere. The middle school was ours for the taking with no soccer or lacrosse being played in these foul conditions. And no 3rd game either. The Dawgs were shorthanded with some of their top, er, dogs unavailable – and it was decided to move that game to a later date. So Week 13 became a double feature: Cronies v. BOP and Crocs v. Cobras – side by side.
The Purple Cobras came into the game winless and left for dead. The Crocs came in with a winning record after two rousing victories in a row over both the Lionhearts and Dawgs. But call this one Jesus Bowl II as there was a resurrection afoot. The Purple Cobras came out for the first time with their full compliment of snakes ready to spit venom, and Perla was St. Patrick driving them out of Loserville. The Crocs looked like a team that didn’t want to be there. MVP was there on time with his Nerf Juniors football, waiting for his team and they rolled in sleepy-eyed. They seemed bothered by the weather and temperature and their body language suggested they believed a win would be handed to them just for showing up. Say what you want about a Perla constructed team, but they never stop fighting. And on this day, they were gonna fight. They were gonna make the Crocs a skidmark on the underpants of society. With the rain falling, they were about to pour it on. Even Goldberg showed up! The game itself was just what the doctor ordered for Cobras. It was the antidote. It was the medicine for what ailed them. Not just because the elements played into their strengths, but just because they had maintained a faith that if they showed up good things would happen. And they finally showed up. Perla would make a good lab tech because he loves him some chemistry. The Cobras experiment went into the game with a formula unproven and left it with a relative theory of how to make the postseason. I really wish I could recap the game itself in some compelling way, but once Cobras got off to the races they lapped Crocs numerous times. This one wasn’t close. Before you knew it, Cobras were up multiple scores, Perla was ecstatic on the sidelines and Sherrif (1 TD, 1 pick) was doing backflips in the endzone to celebrate TDs. Whiskey and Spira were relentless on the line. Talk about two under the radar unassuming pass rushers who don’t have the flashiness of an Oppen or the pedigree of a Kut, but who get after it. These dudes don’t stop. Watching Spira is a clinic. A classic lineman move is to give the sack a valiant effort – a burst – and see how that goes. If it fails, so be it. Spira does not stop. Tomax and Xamot sacked Snow 3 times. Solo was pressing Zinn all game, doing a great job neutralizing Crocs’ heretofore unstoppable weapon. And, finally, amid all the giddiness and revelry was an MK performance for the ages. For Cobras to continue their march to relevance, their stars need to show up. Not just to the games, but during the games. And MK brought his cape to Week 13. A man who once but lights in his beard lit up the Jewball stage with a 4 score day. 2 TDs caught, 1 rushed, and a P6. That’s what we call Jewball worthy. Good on ya, MK. The postscript for this team is unwritten. Will the Cobras be satisfied with this one day in the sun and slither back into their burrows, or will Perla continue to channel Joe Burows? They have a real playoff shot now and – for one – I hope they get it. Few games stand out in my Jewball memories, but I will remember this one. The rain. The joy. The backflips. And best of all – the potential realized and the possibilities born. It’s why we play the game.
Because the entire Woodmere Middle School shares the same climate, the 2-1 Cronies played the 3-0 BOP in equally wet conditions. The Cronies limped into Game 4. A team wracked by injuries, and reliant on back-ups. But what do you do when a back-up doesn’t show? What happens is that Yaron inevitably plays, and Brody – God bless ya, with your willingness and wristband of plays – shifts back to WR (albeit needing some breathers). And Waldo – who is probably on a different team – is in town so he jumps in. And Jordan tries to get some reps in while his tendon screams please don’t tear me again. With all these issues and adjustments, Cronies are still a core of Daxxy, Oppen (his daughter waiting a few more days to be born – good kid), Zada and Storm. And that’s formidable any way you slice it. So they will always have a puncher’s chance. Brody – antics and call – can ball. And Yaron is always better when he’s not consumed by the prospects of what can go wrong. He always competes, but playing in a game he didn’t come into overthinking and conflicted by what result to the game would benefit him most personally, he played loose. He played chill. And it was great to see. He and Storm brought it back to the 193 days with two TD hookups. The game was close for most of it, but someone must have stuck the orange voodoo Ernie head onto a Justin Jefferson voodoo body. Listen, Ernie and I had our chat issues this week. I just don’t like a certain kind of BS. I think we cleared it up – more or less (Ernie in his mind: NEVER!), but let’s talk actual facts: Ernie is the best of us when it comes to caring about others and a generosity of spirit. The guy isn’t faking. He feels. He is sensitive to the traumas of this life – and that’s a hard thing to be. People like him either guard themselves from everything for fear of being mortally wounded by the tragic nature of life, OR they feel an achrayus (moral obligation) to make things better. Ernie always chooses the latter. So, let’s not break him, Jordan. Even though he broke my tendon in Week 4 and broke my team in Week 13. He made MK’s game across the gridiron look pedestrian. Pray to Ernie for 4 TDs (Go Smores!). Every time the Cronies carved out a path to victory, Ernie settled them down. Roadblocks established. He went full Gandolf. Thou shalt not pass! He added a pick to the flurry of scoring. Jewball to the lead singer of Weague Leek. The only other thing to say about this game is that DK apparently had the sexiest flag-pull hydroplane of all time. No Jewball for it, but…a bracha – DK, may them game always bring out of you that kind of youthful passion. Amen.
A week later (WEEK 14) the Lionhearts and Dawgs faced off in a game that surely felt like a must win for both. Mighty was out for the Dawgs and the younger Brody stepped in. Good fire that kids brings. But you know who brings the most fire to big games. The Wizard. On this very special episode of Jewball, Yaron and his Lionhearts visited Steveo Island – and the result was a nightmare for them. Like the torment of a recurring Bertfumble, over and again, Yaron flashed to his right when in the redzone and searched for points. Points that never came. Steveo had his wand at the ready and went Avada Kedavra on Yaron’s ass. While Yaron did find success moving the ball as he always does with Jack, and he even is establishing a Dachslike timing with Dax on the curls – he has lost his way when it comes to sealing the deal. Dachs had no problem sealing deals that day. On the very first snap, he launches a heatseeker to Brody up the gut of the field and Brody scores. It would be the only score the Dawgs would need. Steveo made sure of that. Sorting hat says Jewball to Steveo. Lionhearts now have the same record as Cobras. Crocs are trying to find their identity. Dawgs are digging themselves out of a hole. Cronies are trying to hold it together. And BOP just needs to keep their foot on the gas.
For the record, there was a game 2 played on Week 14, but it ended in a tie so I’ll just pretend it never happened. Weel 15 was washed out – hence my introduction about our being in the football diaspora.
All good exiles come to an end. And ours ends in but a few days. With sound and fury, it ends. It ends in the redemptive waters of Vets Rooks. The game that ties everything together.
I’ll end with this thought. A thought for Sunday. A thought for the future in general. As Jewballers, we care about the ties that bind. The ties being each other in the present. And our ties to the past and future of games. Games that are really stories. Players that are really brothers. But sometimes we forget to appreciate that we ourselves our bound by these ties. That we at first were roped in – perhaps by a twist of fate or pure dumb luck, but now – by choice – we are strapped in – buckled up – always ready to ride. Holding on, tight.
WEEK 12 – RECAP
As I slowly but surely run out of ways to describe football games in words, I like to believe that by filming, I save myself the requirement to recap. Week 12 was another 3 game affair and I dutifully filmed much of it. And as much as I’d love to refer you to the clips posted for some of the details of these games, this is a recap that needs writing. The Chronicles need to mark this week because we will one day ask ourselves when the Gronk comeback began. And the answer will be that it occurred on the same week that the Feit comeback began.
Game 1A looked really good on paper. Two QBs on a roll going head to head. Gronk v. Pray. At the same time two MVP candidates on the same team – Mighty and Pray – trying to win the game while limiting the stats of the other. And also the biggest challenge of all…PJs trying to avoid a concussion. I’d love to say that things started falling apart for Team Colors the moment Gronk got injured, but in reality – he had thrown three picks and no TDs before tragedy struck. I believe the score was 0-0 when all of a sudden, Gronk was on the floor, eyes closed, holding his leg. He knew. “I feel like I got shot in the ankle” He was doing something he had done a thousand times before. Moving around, buying some times before finding the open receiver. And bang. Shot. Down he goes. There are so many reasons to lament the end of Gronk’s season. After basically missing the entire last season, he came back with just a tad of rust on the field and a lot more centered off of it. The guy was a force to be reckoned with on the chat the past few seasons. Firing missives and provocations with abandon. But, now, he is Oraclesque in his discretion – weighing his words and thoughts. Then the football part of him kicked in. Athletes gonna athlete. He started intimidating QBs, catching Yaron bombs on Tuesday nights, taunting the Kid, and dropping dimes on every single WR at his disposal. He was having a season that could only be described as Gronkian. But sports is a cruel master and there are no free passes. No one is above a season ender. We are all out here dodging bullets. As is the Jewball way, Gronk hobbles over to a bench and spends the rest of the game contemplating his miserable fate. With a torn achilles, the denial stage does not last long. Depression sets in almost immediately. Acceptance soon after. The game goes on, but it was not much of a challenge. A one armed Jordan steps in to replace a QB. Kut tries to throw. Throws a pick. Goldberg tried to throw. Throws 2 picks. Mighty is the beneficiary of all this. Scores 2 and picks 3. PJs catches a TD as well as knee to the head. He nearly had a P6, but was foggy post hit. Pray walks away with the Jewball in the accursed game with 3 thrown, 2 picks, and 1 of em for 6. Gronk….fight!
Gronk had a great excuse for taking the L. Don’t know what Yaron will tell you. He loses to the upstart Invader 2-1 in a game that all who witnessed it dubbed The Daxxy Game. The rookie crooner had 2 sacks and a majestic leaping P6. I missed the fireworks of that play, but every time I looked up to check on that game, I saw E making catches all over the place and DK taking out his sack lunch (birthday boy had 4). But DK and E’s heroics were not enough to get Yaron a W. Who can possibly get a Jewball for the Daxxy Game? Hmmmm….
On a day where a QB goes down, a QB is resurrected. Feit has been having a lowkey strong season. Walked to Pray SZ in the rain. Played sharp in 2 Bowl Games. Got a Jewball in a BOP win. And now, a regular season win over Yaron. JaBron graciously gave Storm a start on the fiery one’s birthday and it went pretty well. Both Feit and Storm went 3 and out to start the game, but on take two, Storm matriculated down the field and fired one in to Yaron at the back of the endzone and took a 1-0 lead. At that point Yaron took over the offense and the team would fail to score for the remainder of the game. And although Feit ran anemic offenses for his League Teams in prior years, he has been a potent offensive force this season. The Determined Dermo has been showing up with the Stat That swagger of old, and dividends are being paid. He throws the TDs (Sherrif, Kut, and Pray), runs one in for a score, and add a pick for extra flavor. Jewball to him? Yes. Is a League Team next?
WEEK 11 – RECAP
League Week 3 gamesmanship started days in advance, as two of our teams were scrambling to replace QBs. The QB for the 1-1 Dawgs and 0-2 Cobras were out of commission for pivotal matchups in this very short 6 game season. Dachs was trying to keep the shalom bayis and stayed back (with the exception of a short appearance, leaving the kids in the car in the parking lot like many great men before him), and Perla is down with a bone chip suffered during a PJS flackle (flag grab disguised as tackle). Let the battle for Weider begin. While the potential/hopeful future Jewballer had agreed to come out, the question was who he would play for. It looked at first that he would be throwing for Cobras as his absence was assured, but once Dachs made his decision to sit official, Legs played both the he’s my friend card and the confused card, and Weider was all set to run the offense for the Dawgs. We will get to the Cobras in a bit.
The Dawgs, coming off a loss to BOP, were taking on the 1-1 Crocs, who had beaten the Lionhearts a few weeks earlier at Woodmere Middle. An impressive win, but one they viewed as merely a stepping stone. The Dawgs would be a tough test, with the combined talents of Legs, Mighty, Steveo, O, Blitz, Salem, and Ross. Even without their leader and signal caller – this is a stacked team. But would Weider be able to catch up to Jewball speed after many years away from the game and scrape off the rust in time to deliver his team a victory? To the game:
The answer to the rust question was answered immediately. It was there and needed some scraping. Passes were not reaching their intended targets and Weider’s scrambles were one gear too slow. It was surely a frustrating first few sets for the Dawgs. But it was clear that Weider was a winner and confident and knew that his football faculties would return – the only question was when and would it be too late?
The Crocs were lined up with their formidable squad; MVP under center and a powerhouse of talent lead by Zinn and rounded out by BK, Dobbs, Rook, Sam, Kut, Vegh, and Tom. On their first possession, a well contested ball and drop by the normally sure-handed Dobbs kept both teams off the board early. But after another shaky set with Weider’s timing off, Snow got the ball back and went to the most reliable weapon in Jewball – the jump ball to Zinn. Left sideline 40 yard no doubter – keeping it simple and moving the chains. From the red zone, Ross – who had a big game – made a nice play batting down a TD intended for Zinn, but a play later Snow found BK and the Crocs were on the board.
If Weider wasn’t going to figure things out, it was possible that Crocs could win even with one score. But just then the defense did him a huge favor. It was the Big O with a deflection of a Snow pass and a beautiful diving recovery of the ball before it hit the ground – setting up the Dawgs at their 5 yard line. With that kind of down and distance, Weider came back fully charged and found Ross zipping across the endzone left to right and tied things up.
The celebration was short lived. With Dachs watching from the sideline, the Dawgs’ defense broke down and a blown coverage resulted in a wide open BK who easily took the 25 yard pass to the house as Legs screamed “Who has him?!” Crocs up 2-1 as the first half came to a close.
The second half was about as exciting as Jewball gets. Weider transformed right before our eyes into a QB, and though still not what he soon will be, the passes were crisper – some brilliant – and the QB runs were up to speed. And it helped that Ross was having his best game as a Jewballer. The rookie picked Snow for 6 and tied the game up early in the 2nd half. The second half made it look like Snow was trying to blow the game. The first half momentum was flushed away in a flurry of picks. The MVP was intercepted 5 times on the day and the last one resulted in a drive for the invigorated Weider and Dawgs. A sweet sliding grab running right to left in the corner of the endzone by Blitz to give the Dawgs a 3-2 lead with only minutes left in the game. Dawgs were assured ball last so the odds were stacked against the Crocs to pull this one out. I wish I could say I remember everything about the drive Snow orchestrated. For some reason I think it was catches by Vegh and Dobs. Either way, the drive was capped by a game tying TD by the Rook! Dawgs now with the ball and a chance to win it in regulation. Weider marched his team down the field confidently. Everything had gone their way in the second half and it was now time to indelibly stamp this game as an all time great comeback. Straight out of a TBI dream sequence, the game would end on an out to Mighty on the right side. He would make one man miss and skitter his way in to the endzone to seal the game and his legend. The Year of the Rat would continue. But what happened was…Mighty runs into a brick wall at the 1. And you can’t spell brick without BK. BK stands Mighty up at the 1 and the game goes on. It goes on to the tune of another TD for the Rook in nearly the same spot as his game tying TD five minutes earlier. Dawgs get another chance to win the thing, but after some positive yards, Weider fires a gorgeous 26 yard pass at a crossing Blitz, who proceeds to do what Storm calls the dart board and the ball bounces off his chest and into the air. And then into the waiting arms of Rook. Game over. Crocs win! Jewball in a game like this is a tough win. Because it’s an important game and there were so many huge plays. In the end, none were bigger than the one that actually prevented the loss. That is BK stopping Mighty at the 1. That’s the ball game, right there. Mighty scores there nine out of ten times. Rook comes very close with the late game heroics, but in the end – it’s BK with the 2 early scores to give Crocs the cushion they desperately needed, and making the play of the game to keep his team alive.
Our other games I did not watch. Klink was manning the Cronies v. Lionhearts game and Samet was handling Cobras v. BOP. Thank you, gentlemen, both. Much appreciated. Brief recaps of those two affairs:
At LHS, it was the 1-1 Cronies against the 1-1 Lionhearts, and Lionhearts jumped out first with a bomb TD to Jack. My heart sunk as I saw that from across the way, thinking my team would be having a rough day. But they didn’t. A few minutes later I see a bomb TD to storm and a few minutes after that a bomb TD to Tommy. I see the Cronies celebrating and barking. We bark. You can shut them up by beating them. Good luck. Every time I look up I see Oppen smacking down a pass. I see Daxxy with a huge smile. Cronies are fine. Yaron put up some points in Yaron time, but it was all Cronies day. My QB throws 3 TDs (Tommy, PJs, and Storm), has 3 picks (2 of em for 6), and racks up another Jewball.
Brady did not make it to Jewball. The man most excited about Bardy did not make it out Sunday morning. Solo was late Sherrif was later. Cobras still made it a game, but in a losing effort. BOP have not lost. Cobras have not won. On to the next. Every game is its own unique story and possibility. Jewball to Prime for coming in and scoring a TD. The guy is an inspiration.
The next morning we regrouped for some Jesus Bowl football. Was great to see All Man play some ball. Was astonishing to see Brody come out (for all the well earned shtick about his chronic canceling – he can ball). Was beautiful to see all the friends and Jewball family on the sideline. Our Bowl Games are our holidays and we know how to celebrate. We know what’s important. We have another one in a few days. See you on the field.
Week 10 Recap
It’s a cliché, but Jewball has become the gift that keeps on giving. With every season, we add something new that immediately becomes an integral part of the tradition. As if we’ve always done it. As if the innovation had just been waiting for us to incorporate it into our ever expanding schedule. And so it has been with our Chanukah Party – now a mere three years old, but feeling like a well worn pair of jeans. Just comfortable and reliable and always a good look. Legs was just a precocious newbie when he stated with the authority of a Vet that Jewball shall have a Chanukah Party. And the wives shall be invited. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. Year one was a pool hall in Island Park. Year two was a brewery in Oceanside. Year Three was a music hall in West Hempstead. Three different flavors, but each one absolutely spot-on for the moment in time. My only regret is that not everyone could be at every one. But to those who came out, thank you. It’s a major source of a chizuk for me personally and for all those who appreciate the world we have built and continue to. Thank you to Legs once again for starting this up and buying us all drinks. To Rabin for sponsoring the games. To Yaron for handling the food (and to all those who sent him $). To Daveo, Steveo and Ice Man for the donuts (support Alans!). To the big O for thinking about our wives and getting them extremely thoughtful gifts. To Weague Leek (Kut, Ernie, Dax, Daveo, and Steveo) for entertaining the hell out of us. And most of all to DK for giving Ernie a permanent complex.
The party preceded Week 10, and although there wasn’t mass intoxication at the party, there seemed to be a group hangover Sunday morning by anyone playing against Yaron.
It was our second week in a row of pending rain storms. So cold and gloomy, but the Jewball gods once again kept the downpour in check so the games could be played.
Let’s start with the blow out loss. We can blame one of two things for such an uneven game – if we are looking for excuses. One is Brody’s big comeback was delayed at the last minute by none other than Brody. I believe he wholeheartedly intends to return, but I think I speak for all of us when I say – I’ll believe it when I see it. So Spira – a very good player – takes the place of Brody. The issue is just they are different kinds of players. It took a speed receiver away from Pray. The other excuse is Pray who was getting over a flu-like symptomy week. He just wasn’t himself. The other possibility – and it should not be brushed aside – is that Gronk is back to the dominant Gronk that beat up on every QB we threw at him. A week after leading a team that put up a whopping 8 scores, he leads a team that puts up….a whopping 8 scores. Although this will be remembered as the Tom game, where the big fella galloped his way to two awe-inspiring touchdowns, it’s really about what Gonk is doing right now. As Tom himself said later in the day while chasing his kids around Ohr Torah, “Gronk uses me.” And that’s what makes the Mat Stafford doppelganger so effective. He has gift for processing the field and finding the open man. He firmly believes that the open man gets the ball – no matter what the power rankings or the mock drafts say. Faith breeds confidence and confidence breeds catches. Well, Gronk ran away with this one. Literally. He ran, sashayed, shook, and shimmied for 3 scores himself while throwing 5 more to 3 different receivers. Pray could only put up half that many points in his diminished state. The Rat got his stats with a TD and a pick. Mike made a really sweet deep catch for a score, starting to show the skills that he’s been promoting on the chat. And the quiet hero of Jewball, Josh Scott Dobs, not only inflated the menorah, but inflated his stat line with 2 TDs. Although I’d love to give the Jewball to Tom because he’s a majestic beast of a man, it’s got to be Gronk for laying the smackdown two weeks in a row.
On the other side of the cones, Yaron was doing his best Gronk impression – he himself rushing for 3 TDs, but would it be enough? His opposing QB, the great recent girl dad Dachs, is known for putting up points and running up a score. But to do this, your receivers needs to catch the ball. And his have been suffering from a chronic case of the dropsies. A malady that plagued many of Yaron’s receivers in the past.
Now what if I told you that Yaron’s top receiver, Ice Man, would go down early with ankle, attempt to tough through it, but eventually limp off the field not to return. What if I told you that his replacement, Legs, would not show up until garbage time. What if I told you the Sheriff would score two for Yaron, but they would each be canceled by calls (Goldberg PI, and Beast that the line moved – poetic combo). What if I told you, two of Yaron’s players, Goldberg and Ross, would each have multiple easy almost picks which they bumbled. And then what if I told you Yaron won by 3 scores over Dachs, 5-2. It’s hard to say what was wrong with Dachs, but I guess I’ll just say Mazal Tov. He had a lot on his mind and his receivers were making his life miserable with some unforced errors. Either way, the W by Yaron was inexplicable. But that’s why we play the games. Two very hot QBs going head to head in Week 11 in a League Game (in less than 10 hours actually). Jewball to Yaron for winning this one with smoke, mirrors, scotch tape, and other scraps of the trash his game is made of.
The late game was better. While Pray’s fever had still not broken, at least this time Spira was actually supposed to be on his team. I have to admit, I spent most of the game talking life, hashkafa, and shidduchim with Irv, I was cognizant of the game for fleeting moments. One of them allowed me to witness a spectacular, stunning, and stupendous touch down pass from Pray to BK like Lock to Smith-Njigba. BK getting to the ball in full stride and hauling it in with his fingertips down the right sideline. At another instant of paying attention, I saw Legs looking more and more like the T-1000 version of Christian McCaffrey. But this terminator wears tiny pink shorts. Brad had 2 sacks, a TD, came early to help Jewball, and wore his shorts. I was going to give Yaron two Jewballs on the day, but he’ll gladly take his 2 wins and the momentum into tomorrow. Instead, it’lll go to Legs since TBI and the general consensus of Jewball is that Legs is the man right now. Or at least the cybernetic organism right now. Come with me if you want to win.
WEEK 7 & 9 RECAP
League Weeks 1 and 2 Recap
Although we played one League game Primeaturely, Week 7 of Jewball marked the official start of League Weeks. The hype for Leagues this season was somewhat muted by the reconfigured Draft Party and the long wait for the games to begin, but Jewball Leagues are Jewball Leagues, and there is really nothing quite like it in our history. We’ve had big games, whether against non Jewball teams or – most similarly – Vets Rooks, but there is something about Leagues. The jerseys. The team names. The bonding. The knowledge that only one crew will remain standing, and DOMA sits at the end of the crucible. I like to think that Jewballers bring it every week – and for the most part, they do. No one takes a play off. Except for Snow accidentally saying in the huddle once, “Let’s have some fun,” and Zinn accidentally saying on the chat once that Vets Rooks doesn’t matter, Jewballers generally show up ready to rumble. But you can’t deny the sizzle in the air on League Weeks. So, despite the drama, it was a great idea, it remains a great idea – and – with some tweaks – we are continuing to make it a core element of the Jewball season.
Week 7 featured two games, Cronies v. Dawgs and Lionhearts v. Cobras. The Crocs (0-1) and Birds (1-0) had the week off and a bunch of their players came down to watch. First up was Cronies v. Dawgs. Gotta hand it to the Dawgs. They have shown up for both League Games so far with their full rosters available. That’s always a great sign. Cronies have 3 players on the IR (Sting, Jordan, and Samet), with possibly only Jordan poised to come back this season. And PJs was on assignment. So it was formed Crony (and Championship MVP) Maor to the rescue. That gave the team 6. Daxxy recruited a kid from high school with a good reputation to round out the squad – nice, kid, but the result was less than nice.
Gronk came out leading his Cronies with that Gronk swagger. Quick long strike, perfectly placed to Storm, and it was Cronies on the board first. 6-0. But all that potential and hype disappeared as the game progressed. Daxxy’s Plus 1 had a brutal game of drops. And we know Gronk – he gives up on no one who is open. Player was open. The ball hit him in the hands. The ball hit the ground. Time and time again. The good news for the Cronies was, Dawgs were going drop for drop with them. Think even Mighty dropped one. For sure Ross did. Dachs and Gronk were handling their business and being let down. However, Dawgs has Mighty and Legs – two players that have shown this season that they will not be held down. Mighty caught 2 TDs, and had a P6. Legs erupts for 6 sacks. Jewball to each of those monsters. This is also the game where Beast reffed, and I think it went relatively well with someone making calls. Less fights. Even though some of the calls were made under the influence. I think. Your final is 26-6 Dawgs (1-0) over Cronies (0-1).
In a game that felt like it would be even more one-sided than the early game, Lionhearts v. Cobras had some juice at the end. Once again, it was the team that had its roster show up looking a lot better than the team trying to plug holes. Listen, I give Perla a ton of credit. He is the ultimate gamer. He abides by the philosophy of…..you do your best with what you have and you fight to the whistle. But Cobras need MK, Solo, Goldberg, and Sherrif at every game to compete. And so far they have not had a game with those 4 in attendance. They played a fully stocked Lionhearts and it wasn’t close for most of the game. Yaron jumped out to a 3 score lead, looking really comfortable with his new toys. While his usual go-to, Jack, did have a rushing TD, it was Fox having the statement game hauling in 3 TDs. With all hope seeming lost, Perla did his usual furious comeback bit. Riding the elusive speed and sure-handedness of Sherrif, and the rage of Big E Walls (3 sacks), Cobras made it interesting in the end. Whiskey caught at TD pass which brought the Cobras to within a score to tie the game. But Yaron pumped two late TDs in (1 to Stats and 1 to Fox) and put it out of reach. Jewball to Yaron for the 5 TDs thrown and 2 sacks as his Lionhearts (1-0) defeat the Cobras (0-1).
After a rain checked Week 8, League Week 2 was played – all 3 games at 8 am. We will begin with the 2 played at Lawrence High School on an unseasonably warm and calm December morning – though the clouds were pregnant with a brewing storm. And speaking of storms a brewing, our very own Johnny Storm had himself a game for the Cronies. This time it was Cobras with MK and Goldberg, but without Perla’s main weapon, Sherrif. Regardless, there is no real good excuse for what happened. Cobras need to figure out something that works. They have too many talented players to not be competitive. This one is not worth analyzing much more than saying Gronk gets Jewball for throwing 6 TDS to 4 different receivers (3 to Storm). The Kids scores the only TD for Cobras. PJS had a TD and an epic sack which we just learned will sideline Perla for a bit (welcome to the club). And Tommy looks like a keeper. Cronies (1-1) right the ship and Cobras (0-2) are still looking for answers.
Across the way, a heavyweight battle was underway. BOP v. Dawgs faced each other in a game that many think will be replicated in the finals. Once again, Dawgs were fully loaded, while BOP was missing Prime, and for most of the game it was Dawgs on top. The game was scoreless for the first quarter, but as the 2nd quarter began, Dachs found Waldo streaking across the back of the endzone and took the lead. The lead was held until 2 minutes before the half, when Pray found former FCFT and Top Guns captain, Feit, a step off the sideline in the endzone and the QB did his best WR impression, making the catch and getting 3 balls in. Game tied. At this point, I ventured to WMS to scope our 3rd game of the day, but when I returned 45 minutes later, it was clear that Dawgs had been victimized. They were wronged in some way and the game was unofficially being played under protest. Two calls by BOP were being disrespected (a flag guard call by Daveo and PI call by Ice Man) had the Dawgs uproarious. Meanwhile, they had the lead with 15 minutes left. But the lead was squandered as the clock ticked down. After multiple holding calls by Legs as BOP knocked on the door of a game tying TD, Pray eventually slipped one in to Ice Man and the score was tied. Everyone was exhausted from the arguing, spirits were low, and players had/wanted to go – so it was decided to go 1 and 1 full possession with Dachs and Dawgs getting ball first. You could kind of tell that Dawgs were going to lose this game based on the way things had gone. Right or wrong, the calls and the turn of events had them unfocused and resigned to a bitter fate. They went 3 and out. Pray and BOP were confident and played with their chins up. O had to run so the Dawgs were down a big defensive weapon, especially on the pass rush and slowing the QB run. Pray used this to his advantage and marched down the field with a few runs mixed in. On the final play of the game, Pray connects with Feit once again in the endzone and as the saying goes, Feit got hands. He makes the catch and closes this one out. BOP (2-0) 18 and Dawgs (1-1) 12. Jewball goes to a man who hasn’t played much football with us this season. In fact, this was his first regular season game. He had a very disappointing season last year, and a disappointing League season the year before that….but Jewballers never say die. Feit told us he couldn’t commit to playing this season. Couldn’t commit to Leagues. But he entered the draft and was chosen in the very late rounds by Pray. And last Sunday he was a game winning hero. Jewball to Feit for all the reasons we give out this award.
The last game is the one I know the least about. I know that it was scheduled to be played at HHS, but was rerouted to WMS and thankfully that worked. I know that Yaron was without Fox, who was the real scoring difference-maker for him in League Game 1. MVP and the Crocs were also short a few players, but what a blessing to have Jesus come back and play some Jewball with us. Jesus does it right (as does Zez). It’s okay to leave Jewball if you must, but if you are around – get a game in. Keep the tradition going. Stay with the family. Jesus is a Golden Age player who has made sure to catch a game whenever he can. If you ever find yourself away from Jewball, but have an opportunity to come back for a game, ask yourself: What would Jesus do? Jesus ended up needing to play for both teams as Rabin had some tightness which gave him scare enough to pull himself from the game. If I’m not mistaken, Crocs never trailed. They either had the lead or were tied from the beginning. I asked Zinn after the game, what he thought of Crocs. His quietly confident take: “We are working on some things.” I interpret that as, we have a good team, and we can win this whole thing….but we need to stay hungry and have the mentality of improve every game. It’s a very likeable and talented team. Well, Zinn lead by example last Sunday with 3 scores and a pick – Jewball to him. Jesus told me on the sideline about Zinn, we’ve had great athletes, but no one ever as smooth as that kid. Can’t argue. Zinn’s 3 TDs plus 1 by BK were enough to beat a subdued Lionhearts offense. Snow’s Crocs (1-1) just had too much firepower and Lionhearts (1-1) felt the absence of Fox.