I watched the new Wonder Woman last night. Other than it being a waste of time, I made note of the most prominent theme since the movie was playing while Yaron was announcing his season ending injury. SPOILER ALERT: The theme of the movie is that a magical wish granting stone also takes from you what you currently have that is most valuable. Although I am 100% sure that Jewball is not a fictional magical wishing stone, I could not help but feel both blessed and cursed this season. We are halfway through – and it has been one of our best seasons. The positive storylines are overwhelmingly great. Incredible interest in the game. The battle with the soccer guys. The best talent we’ve ever had. EVER. BY A LOT. The return of Marino (and Klink as a “regular”). The addition of a great rookie class. Dobs engagement. The League Weeks. I really could go on. At the same time…..we are missing guys because of Covid. We are losing guys because of injuries.  We went from eliminating BOTH to likely needing it. It’s football – injuries happen – but in the past few weeks it has been one after another. I starts to weigh on you. I’m just hoping everyone heals up, rehabs up, and comes back.
WEEK 11 was a League Week and there was a lot of anticipation going in, with the undefeated Ass Men taking on a Feit Club at full power in Game 1. And In Game 2, we had the rising Birds of Pray taking the winless 193 – a team looking to get right. Yaron promising a win and putting his money where his mouth is.
The Ass Men came out with a lot of confidence, with all their talent on both sides of the ball – only Logan missing, but that is a big loss – he is their beating heart. Despite what you may have heard from Gronk, Feit Club is a team loaded with talent, but on Sunday  – when it came to offense, they were nearly a one dimensional team – Mighty being the ultimate weapon X on the field.
Ass Men started fast. Opening play was a 40 yard completion to Singer which eventually set up a 4th and short at the Feit Club 32. But Rabin overthrew Munch on the TE rollout and turned the ball over. It would be a while before the Ass Men would sniff the end zone again.  Feit was moving the ball easily with Gronk over the middle and screens to Mighty and the O Bros. He did have one receiver struggling to make catches, but I forgot that dude’s name. Feit Club was just picking apart the Ass Men zone. Although it did not always result in a score – as our fearless leader always commands us: BEND (over)! DON’T BREAK! Unfortunately, even with Bin barking at his team from the sidelines, they broke a few times. Mighty got into the secondary deep twice in the first half and both times, Feit found him. On the first of his 3 TDS, Mighty tipped a ball to himself with Singer right on him – Singer looking for the pick – but as Singer committed, the Rat adjusted – and wound up with the ball and no one behind him and the end zone. A few possessions later on the Ass Men 30, Feit sent two WRs deep and Mighty was all alone at the 10. Easy TD. 2-0 Feit Club at the half.
Ass Men made adjustments to start the second half on defense by putting MK in man coverage on Mighty. It proved to stifle Feit’s offensive scheming and the FC started the second half with a number of 3 and outs. Meanwhile Rabin was having some luck with his passing game, hitting Singer down the sideline for 37 yards, which set up a Jordan 40 yard run with great blocking out front to put the Ass Men on the board. It really felt like a momentum shift. But it all fell apart on the very next play. Feit and his pet Rat drove a stake through the Ass Men’s crack. With MK truly draped on Mighty who was flying down the right hash, Feit threw an incredible pass and Mighty made a catch that perhaps only he could make. In traffic between MK and Singer, the ball drops in to Mighty who maintains his throttle and focus to not only catch the ball, but avoid the collision with Singer….and wind up the last man standing, ball in hand…and the field in front of him. A score with twenty minutes left on the clock and Feit Club with a 3-1 lead.
The good news for Ass Men was the defensive really was clicking. Munch and O started bringing tons of pressure and Feit was getting sacked. Outside of a miracle Rat TD, FC had been held down for over 40 minutes. The only question was, will time run out.
Rabin got his team downfield with a Storm run followed by  42 yard Jordan jump ball over Steveo. The drive was capped by a Singer out – stiff arm – and TD. 3-2. But now only 5 minutes left on the clock and Ass Men behind.
Feit Club – who would get final possession regardless – drove the field methodically – but it stalled at the Ass Men 20 yard line. The clock had already run out and FC walked off the field with a hard fought and well-earned W. Ass Men take the L and by the end of the day, 3 teams were 2-1.
Considering the dynamic year he is having already, it is a surprise that Mighty has not gotten a Jewball yet, but today he gets one. 3 scores – 2 of them the kind of plays that only Mighty really makes. None bigger than the most difficult one – that destroyed the momentum AM had built.
Game 2 turned out to be not much of a game. Yaron looked unreal for the time he was in. 3 beautiful passes thrown. One turned into a TD with Sting. The other 2 – quite fittingly and sadly – were dropped. It has been a rough season for Yaron on many levels – none rougher than the most recent twist (no pun intended) – but he has been completely snake bit by inexplicable drops. No matter what team or what time – guys are dropping his passes. He does throw harder than any other QB in the league, but still….WRs need to catch passes. Period.
Until Yaron went down – the 193’s issue was less offense and more defense. Pray and his Birds looked unstoppable on offense. Literally, anything and everything they were trying worked. With weapons like Prime, Ross, Salem, Vegh PJs….he was using them all – completion after completion after completion. The 193 defensive scheme looked lost. And then their season looked lost. There was a party on the sideline trashing Yaron no matter what he did – even though he was doing great – but the party ended….when Yaron was writhing on the ground gripping his knee. He would eventually hobble off the field and head to the Urgent Care. There would be no miracle return this time. No popping back in. This would be a season ender. Wishing you, Yaron, and all our injured players – speedy and full recoveries! The rest of the game was a joke. Ross had a bunch of picks and scores. Same with Vegh. At one point Vegh was so disgusted by the one sided victory, he curled up into the fetal position and rolled around on the turf instead of catching a TD pass. Once again – I will keep the Jewball from Pray – who has his designs on Jewball MVP anyway – due to the standout performance by one of his weapons. That would be Ross. Ross is like Megatron, but likeable.
Who wants WEEK 12? Early, Late, or Both.

Chag Sameach Jewball brothers. Another Jesus Bowl in the books, on a spectacular winter day with above 50deg weather. See ya at the New Years Bowl!

For the Archives, Team Green (Yaron) def. Team Red (Prager) 8-4

RED

Pray – QB
Rabin
BD
Ross
Vegh
Prime
Eddie

Green

Yaron – QB
Beast
Ivry
Jordan
Gronk
Wilmer
PJs

It takes a minute to think bring the guy down, don’t look for the flag. It’s a little sloppy and awkward at first. Who am I kidding, it’s sloppy and awkward the whole time. The scoring began with the man most of us would have bet that tackling would come to naturally. Generally, Beast is hyped for the game – and you had the element of some danger and it seems like an obvious fit. We knew that whatever the matchups were – one team would be better at bringing people down than the other – and that team turned out to be Pray’s squad in white. There was just a qualitative difference in their ability to track, wrap up, and bring down. I already spoke about one of the major storylines of the game which was just being out there. But it would be wrong to talk about this game without talking about injuries. And not just the kind that happened during the game. Beast – despite his big offensive numbers – was slowed by his nagging leg injury. Zero sacks on Yaron – and in a game where fumbles were live!  Storm was not his usual stormy self. Couldn’t cut. Seemed to be backing off contact. And speaking of cutting, Kut was stretching something out all game and fighting through. Hard to watch. PJs got slammed early in the game, but he shook it off. And then we come to Klink who just had some kind of bad luck. You watch the tape and nothing extreme happens, but apparently his arm popped out while trying to wrap up Prime. So, Klink was done fairly early. Around that time, MK needed a breather – and when he came back he took over at official D. While we do have a result – a winner and a loser – Klink down and MK official changed the dynamic of the game.
At the time, I believe it was 2-0 white. For the same reason – Dark could not tackle. First Beast was able to break free and run 40 yards for a score, then Tom did the same thing. But Tom had one man to beat – Yaron at safety tried to bring him down with a tender hug at the 10 yard line; Tom was having none of it. He started to push Yaron away. Yaron changed his plan, realizing the hug wasn’t going to work – quickly, he decided to tickle Tom gently…but that really set Tom off. Some suggest that Tom was “hugged” and “tickled” in camp and had a violent reaction to the flashback. That is the only way to explain the disrespect he showed toward Yaron by planting him in the snow and walking over him like Iverson to put white up 2-0.
Prime was knocking on the door all day. The dude is tough to ground on a flag week – was not surprising that tackling him was a chore. Yaron mixed his ground game with Prime with his overthrow to Rabin game. The result was a Prime score, making it a 2-1 Game. Pray did not like the close game and took a shot with Beast deep. A stunning rainbow pass that Beast caught in full stride directly over the top and took to the house. Beast had dropped a similarly beautiful ball earlier, so it was nice to make up for it with an even better catch than the first would have been.
And speaking of nice catches, Yaron found a reliable receiver to catch a TD pass for him. PJS! Beating Pray over the top and tracking the ball with his eyes the whol way – dives forward, pulls in a pass and lands in the endzone. 3-2.
Just when the game was getting a little exciting, Pray took care of the tension by running for a score on the very next possession. This giving us a final of 4-2.
Jewball goes to Tom. Why? Pray threw 3 TD passes and scored one. Beast scored two. The reason is because there was a stretch in the middle of the game where it was close and Tom went to another level on defense. He was a bit tentative at the beginning, but once he got going he was a tackling machine and took away the middle of the field from Yaron – stuffing play after play. And that made the difference.

Snow Game – into the mind of sir Violence

The snow games stand out. Of course they do. It’s playing a familiar game in an unfamiliar setting. Jewball on another planet. I’m not sure when we first decided that Jewball in the snow had to be tackle. For sure when we played touch, we played touch in the snow. When we switched to flags….something about flags in the snow seemed dumb. Whatever the case, it has become a tried and true Jewball tradition. One that many look forward to. Also one that many automatically want no part of. Some find the concept of tackle horrifying. I find it exhilarating. There is absolutely nothing like it. I think one reason for that is – it encapsulates and accentuates one of the lesser appreciated but integral elements of Jewball. And that is….staying young! Listen, I don’t know why I can or still want to play football at 43….but I do know I haven’t taken a season off since I was 23. So….is that it? Is Jewball the fountain of youth? Who knows. But it has to be a factor. And it’s not just the physicality of it. Sure, you can be 43 and in great shape (which I am not) but still be a grumpy bitter broken crank (which my wife and kids would say I am….but they are totally biased). Jewball exercises your mind body and spirit. I don’t care…I’ll say it….Jewball let’s you play like a kid….no matter your age. And that matters! The part of you that says it doesn’t matter and Commish is wrong – THAT’S THE PART THAT WANTS YOU TO GET OLD! Resist it with whatever you got! Fight! Fight! Fight! Acting like a kid once a week is awesome! And it keeps you young! So….where was I…oh yeah….snow! The tackle games in the snow are uniquely kid-like. Adults don’t play in the snow! Adults shovel snow. Adults begrudgingly play with their kids in the snow. Adults ski (privileged ones….Mighty probably skis. Yaron for sure). Kids play! Yes, we take our football seriously! As we should and as we must! But if it happens to snow, and the snow is just right – once in a while – every few years – we get a chance to really be kids again. And I don’t say this to belittle what we do, but really to aggrandize it. I think it’s magic. I think people who belittle it…..well, they’re old and broken.

Snow games are also great because there is something about them that just slows down the pace of play. While that is usually a bad thing….it’s not when the world around you is a colorless wasteland.


We somehow flashed through half a season. Where does the time go? And sometimes a game that you have been looking forward to all week, zips by and it feels like you blinked once between the opening and final drives. It’s not that you didn’t appreciate the game, but you are caught up in the game – the stats, the action – and you never take a moment to sit back:


Whoa…..I’m out here with my brothers, healthy enough to play the game I love, lucky enough to be counted amongst this brilliant fellowship. I mean, how can you possibly reflect in such a profound way when there are routes to run and stats to count? The answer is…you really can’t. But no so for the snow games. Something about the pace and the atmosphere. You take that time. You look around. You see your brothers. You feel your health and vitality. You acknowledge your luck. When the snow started coming down early in the game – not enough to obstruct the view – just enough to infuse wonder – you looked around – you took it all in. There was no mistaking it or faking it. You’re a kid again.

Actual Game Recap and Week 10 Jewball presentation before the Jesus Bowl.

game 1

Hard to believe that only a few days ago it was sunny and nearly 60 degrees as we played Week 9. As we approach Week 10, we do not know if there will even be game – because the snow might freeze. What a difference a few days makes.
While I only caught the end of Game 1, which involved a furious comeback by Rabin’s team on the shoulders of Mighty – I was provided with some highlights. Seems that Rabin started typically slow. Dude loves that first play Pick 6. He is a master deflater, but he also has a penchant for comebacks. So, he went textbook to start the game, drawing up a P6 to Goldberg on the first play of the game. Legend has it he threw picks on his first three possessions. Each leading to a score. When it was 3 nothing, Rabin felt ready to mount the improbable comeback – or at least give his team some hope. Naturally, it started with a screen to Mighty with Singer lead blocking and Mighty racing 70 yards to make it 3-1. Goldberg then made his argument for Jewball a bit louder by picking another ball and returning it for a score. 4-1.
Rabin went back into his bag of tricks and tossed the ball to Mighty on the screen, resulting in a 90 yard score. 4-2.
After Gronk and Kut hooked up for a 20 yard pass and 60 yard run to extend the lead, Mighty went off – two back to back P6s. Beastmode has nothing on Ratmode. 5-4.
Rabin faked the screen to Mighty and Singer lead blocking – which everyone of course fell for – but….he throws deep to Singer for a catch and run, 85 yards to tie it up. 5-5.
Rabin partially makes up for the opening play debacle by preserving the comeback tie – Gronk had the win lined up with a 4th and Goal from the ten, but Rabin came up with the sack.
No Jewball for anyone, but Rabin said Mighty had the best game in Jewball history. So there’s that.
This Recap – preserves my word – that I would get a Recap by 11:59 pm today. #lawyer.
Sorry, Bron.

game 2

There was a lot of dark in the Jewball Dark Ages. Our cast regulars seemed to retire all at once. Our talent migrated to Degel, or Croton, of the league, or whatever you want to call it. The weather was harsh and miserable week in and out. Jewball was dying and no one seemed to care. I admit – I lost faith. Rabin never did. Daveo certainly did not. Watching Daveo and Rabin try so passionately and desperately to revive the game – to pound the chest of the corpse – I could watch anymore! I took another stab at it….Tabak brought some guys…Oren brought Yaron….the rest is history.

Chanukah just ended. Although Prime did well to explain the essence of the holiday as Jews love donuts…and that does say it all – there is that other element of Chanukah- which is…..celebrating how powerful a little light in the darkness can be. Now, I don’t want to miss any names here, but during our Dark Age, when another fading game joined ours – we met Kut and we met Tom. MK joined a little later. Tom had some big games early on – he seemed like a keeper. Kut….I wasn’t sure. Wore a Lions jersey. We all know that wearing an NFL Jersey to play pick up football is not a good sign. He wasn’t in the best shape. He kept pulling knishes out of his underwear to snack midgame. Except for the Knish thing….I’d seen his type before. Physical guy and enjoys the game….but…y’know….it’s a love affair that burns out quickly. Also, as I mentioned- the weather was terrible, the games were pretty low quality, and the sign ups were unreliable. I kept sending out emails….and like clockwork – Tom was in, Kut was in. I cannot describe what kind of encouragement those two gave me during that time. Quality guys who wanted to be a part of us. But I thought of Tom as a football player and Kut as a….body. Obviously, I’m writing this to set up the Jewball. But also how wrong I was. And I wasn’t wrong because I misinterpreted the criteria before my eyes. I was wrong because I had no idea what was going inside of Kut. What kind of machine he is from a psychological standpoint. I way underestimated the stuff he is made of. He has SO. MANY. TALENTS. This is why when we all think of the heart of Jewball, we think of Kut. He has transformed himself into a player who can do it all. And it’s no magic. He is working hard. Training. Putting in the hours to evolve and improve physically and mentally. And he does it with such humility and intelligence. It is no coincidence that Kut FINALLY gets his Jewball at our Chanukah game. Because no one represents a candle lit during dark time that should have gone out long ago….but it continues to burn – and not just burn, but rage with the brightest of flames – with no signs of dimming.

Week 9 of Game 2 was supposed to have a few challenges to see who got spots – but Gronk played soccer…I think and Vegh took his spot. Salem dropped and more important than anything we are with him all the way. Maor also needed out. Legs was a maybe but he jumped in – maybe a bad idea….not sure if the injury was inevitable. The sum of all this canceling was that Prime and Courtney were able to take more donuts.

Another outcome was Rabin would face-off against Yaron. Yaron in Blue and Rabin in White for this Maccabowl.

Opening play of the game Yaron sends Jordan right up the middle and Yaron makes a real QB throw, putting the ball over the top leading Jordan who is battling Ivry for position. Jordan reaches up with his right hand and manages to pull the ball into his chest as he falls forward. A nice opening play and Jordan needed it to comfort him later in the evening. A few plays later, Yaron calls the reverse…and although Jordan and Ross execute it real ugly, Ross is fast and elusive and no one can wrap him up. He scores. 1-0 Blue. I don’t remember the order of the next few scores, but I know Rabin was doing himself no favors. His deep ball in Game 2 was non existent. Ross picked him 3 times and I think the only reason he didn’t pick the 4th was he felt bad. One of them he ran in for a score. Another Yaron punched in with Goldberg. Looked like it was gonna be a rout. That’s when Jordan started sucking. A dump to Ivry and missed flag by Jordan lead to big yards. Then Prime punched Jordan in the throat and turned short yards into a TD. A bit later Ivry also got by Jordan and scored. At this point Kut, who was bringing pressure at the line and tracking people down on the short passes when the rest of his team was failing, turned to us and said “Do I have to do everything?” Turned out….he did. Because on offense…Jordan kept the good times rolling by dropping a magnificent deep ball thrown on a fly route. Perfect placement on a full speed go route…..a ball I dream of….and I let it fall. So Kut takes a short pass and runs 85 yards to score. 4-2 Blue. Ivry then continued to show why he may be a future star in this game. Making catches in heavy traffic and evading defenders….racking up many yards on his way to a 3 score day. Rabin is ecstatic because he has now mounted his second improbable comeback of the day. But, Yaron never lost an confidence. He kind of knew he had the game if he wanted it and that he had taken his foot off the gas a bit. Lucky for him, Kut had mad gas. Boom….another 80 yard catch run. The guy is moving nicely nowadays. You can’t sleep on Kut. He has a motor. Yaron takes the lead and keeps it. Game is capped perfectly by a gorgeous over the top pass to Eddie down the sideline. Eddie tips it but maintains his concentration and brings it in. Beautiful hook up between a masterful QB and a receiver he trusts.

I am honored to present Kut his first Jewball. But more than that – I am eternally grateful.

Jewball is always life affirming. While all those who play it safe and careful and are content to maybe occasionally push themselves on the Peloton – we venture out. Seize the day and all. We fight. The elements. Laziness. Time. The inclination to stay in where it is warm, safe, and undemanding. 
There is conversation that takes place every Sunday with my father for the past 15 years. He is 72, I am 42. 
“You played this morning?”
“Of course”
“You’re crazy. You know you are not so young anymore.”
Every Sunday. Since I was 27. Either over the phone or as I limp into whatever birthday or holiday party is being held that day. My wife rolls her eyes. 
While we all love the beautiful days – with sun and mild temps – the cold windy days are where you earn you stripes. And we earned em last week. Will continue to.
While Jewball is always life affirming, there are some Sundays that are Jewball affirming. Week 8 was such a Sunday. 
Soccer guys threatening a return? No problem – bring on the brawl.
Yaron out? No problem, Feit moves to Game 2. Beast and Gronk step up.
Short one? No problem, New guy can bring a newer guy.
25 degrees with wind-chill? No problem. 28 players ready to roll.
Beast and Klink hobbled in Game 2? No problem. Goldberg, Pray, and KU hungry for more.
What am I getting at here?? 
I’m saying something that I usually reserve for the posts preseason and as the season recap. I am saying be proud of yourselves. I’m saying we built something and it is worthwhile and special and has elements of the infinite. Never underestimate or undervalue what we do on Sunday mornings. As I have said – we don’t need anyone else on the planet to get it – though I’m sure many do have built similar families – the only people who need to get it is – US.
I have to start with Game 1 because….it was first. It was not the better Game and had a fraction of the highlights, but it was a contest from start to finish. We begin with Pray taking the ball and lining up with Kut, Goldberg, Held, Maor, and two absolutely fantastic linemen – Might and Singer. Sounds pretty stacked! Despite all this talent, with the wind whipping – moving the ball was going to be difficult. And Jordan had schemed out the defense – he believed it could work. His team in Colors consisted of Gronk at QB, Munch, Big E, Sam, Steveo, and Ivry.  Some speed, some size….it had potential. On the opening drive – there were problems for Colors. You see, Jordan’s scheme involved the best pass rusher in Jewball history….not pass rushing. Okay, so I can see a problem with that. I mean, Jordan is no Greg Williams, but if this were the NFL, Jordan may have been fired. The result on the field was confusion. Munch attacking and tracking the action, and Pray was left to run free. And so he did. The drive was….okay….but it was more about Colors failing to do what they needed to do stop the run. The result, a Pray rushing TD. A bad start for Colors for sure. And it got a bit worse. After it becoming clear that Colors was going to feature a next level Steveo in their offense, hope was reinserted into their hearts. Steveo was busting off big wild runs play after play. Even on broken plays he was going highlight reel. Slipping on a deep route, staying focused on the ball from the ground, and reaching up from his knees to haul it in after it being tipped. Truly an incredible grab. A clinic in concentration and coordination.
With Colors figuring out their defensive scheme a bit – and a few overthrows by Pray – it was evident that the opening score by Dark was an anomaly. Scoring would be very hard to come by. That is unless you can pick a ball at the other team’s 4 yard line and just walk it in – which is exactly what Maor did to Gronk just before the half. Just a heads up and timely as hell play. It proved to be the game winner. 
I was actually getting quietly frustrated with Gronk because sometimes I judge him as not being into the game enough – and on Sunday….I see him on his phone between plays! On the field! On his phone! I mean, does it get any more pathetic?? I was about to go off on him. Then….I realize he was looking at plays! He put plays on his phone – and was calling them in our huddle. Damn, if this guy starts running a huddle – I would say look out rest of the league. He can throw the ball accurately. The problem for him Sunday was that the opening man was not catching the ball. The one score by Colors was after a deep route to Jordan made it over Mighty – and Steveo took a handoff shortly thereafter and streaked and spun to the endzone. I don’t want beat up on Sam too much – but facts are facts…Gronk hit him twice on the money in the endzone and Sam could not finish. I’ll circle back to this in the end.
Not that it would have made a difference in the outcome because scoring was so limited, but late in the game Colors figured out to rush Munch who would push around the TE and have the extra man spy Pray. Either way, Colors did not execute their opportunities and a close game ends 2-1. Maor gets the Jewball for the pivotal play that made the difference.
I want to talk about something for a minute that may make some people uncomfortable, but it is 100% an integral part of what we do. And that is – getting better. I’m gonna state here outright – If you can’t play football and you don’t want to get better at football – stay home. You are not one of us. Jewball involves looking in the mirror – seeing what you are – saying I am this, but I strive to be better. To learn a new skillset. To push myself and become something that I am not now. I don’t want to call out many names, but I have seen it happen before my eyes so many times. We will get to Game 2 when we get to Game 2….but…Oren! He was always a force on the line and can pull a flag like he was born to do it, but his hands were a mess. Every ball you threw at him….dink…..doink. And did you see him Sunday?? I can think of others. Kut, Goldberg, Dobs, certainly myself – there are so many guys who come in as one thing and leave as nother. Sure, we get some finished products….but we mostly get projects. And the beauty of what we do is we welcome the projects. We champion the projects! We say….take your time….but push yourself! Evolve with us! The only person in Jewball history who I think could not figure out how to catch was Naftali. He was just working with a different operating system. So, with that said – I challenge every one of you to grow in this game. Sam – you are not a receiver….yet! Big E…you are not lead blocking on screens….yet! It will happen! Just stick with it. We do not tolerate complacency. 
NOW – FINALLY – Who wants WEEK 9?

GAME 2

The Brawl didn’t happen.
PJs spooked them off (or offered them never before seen footage from Camp Zoomer). Gronk got in their heads. Legs showed them a picture of Beast and said “You don’t want any of this.” Whatever the case – they were warned and they did not even make the attempt.
First things first – Daveo showed up – not to play, but to brawl…and for that….he gets a Jewball. Thank you, Daveo.
Ivry’s bro showed up on his bike – a kid of 16 – but he looked like he can compete for sure. He also brought a weapon, which I thought was really exceptional. He doesn’t get a Jewball for that, but definitely a lot of respect earned. Legs eventually rolled in as well – late. Beast was on the field, but something was off. Klink was on the field where something was more off than usual. Goldberg started in place of Legs. Then Kut went in for Klink. Eventually Pray went in for Beast. I tell you – it used to be an absolute disaster when someone went down with an injury. One person down ended the game for 13 others….not anymore. We have dudes on the sidelines ready to go. It is now Chanukah. Do you believe in miracles?
It was Feit in Dark leading Wilmer, Kyrie, Prime, Sting, O, and Klink. Feit always looks good. Pops back off the snap. Bounces around. Scans the field. Throws some stunners. There really is no “But” coming. I think he’s a winner. Just been losing. On Sunday he started the game with a really pretty drive. I’d describe it, but pictures are worth a thousand words and I’m drunk on oil. So you can watch the entire drive. I filmed it. You got O cutting and making a real WR catch, arms fully outstretched. You got Feit bouncing it outside and more outside and even more outside for a big gain. But, as you can plainly see….the drive stalled. Beast and his team then repeated the trick. Driving the field and stalling. Around this time, Klink had to leave the field. His hammy or something was tightening up. He spent the rest of the game disappointed as hell, testing it on the sideline. Feit took over and promptly threw a pick to Tom, giving Beast excellent field position. Beast wasted no time going to his patented corner fade route. No one throws the rainbow like Beast. While most of our QBS go for the rocket or put to much on it, Beast lofts it to the back of the endzone like a pro – making it extremely easy for the receiver to link up with the ball at the right place and time. The lucky receiver waiting for this ball was Storm. Stat. Count it. 1-0 Colors. 
Around this time, Beast started smacking his injury like Kylo Ren. Very tough to see the warrior deal with the injury. He is dying to stay in – but….damn reality is kicking in. That leg is just not gonna let him finish the game. He is trying…but it’s a frivolous attempt.
Perhaps taking advantage of Beast’s inability to bring pressure on defense, Feit went on a little bit of a run. While the Game 1 QBS were having a miserable time throwing in the wind, Game 2 – while cold and windy – seemed to have some periods of calm. The deep ball was available. Wilmer was having himself a day – his hands looking very capable. Going low, high, inside, outside – the ball was sticking to his gloves….And so…a bomb dropped in on him on the right sideline and he was the deepest man in the zone. Wilmer wins a race to the endzone. 1-1. TABBBAAAAAK! Nice!
Tabak then started making a really nice argument for Jewball by adding a pick to his stat sheet. Prime helped out the cause by putting up a classic slash and jet score to give Dark a 2-1 lead at the half. Pray came in for Beast permanently to start the second half.  
At this point, the wind picked up. A Storm seemed to be brewing. The QBs were struggling to put the ball in the endzone or get real traction. Time was running out Colors. Their best opportunity to score was extinguished when Whiskey took a TE bail out pass to help Pray avoid the sack and he managed to get to the sideline past the defense – he has that ball-carrier hyper-boost speed. The problem was he hit the sideline and then….y’know….just ran right through it. He wasn’t forced out of bounds, okay! He went there by choice! Too bad, because it looked like he was about to tie the game.
Feit took over, looking to ice the game with a score or maybe even run out the clock. He pops back off the snap. Bounces around. Scans the field. And throws an……ill-advised pass across the field that Storm picks (STAT!)and runs about 10 yards into the endzone. STAT! COUNT IT!
After the old back and forth seeing if we can get a winner in regulation, nothing comes of it. Feit came extremely close to winning the game by running out of the pocket and cutting with Prime to the sideline, with Feit at the 6 and Prime in the endzone. Feit put the ball right on Prime, but Legs interfered just enough for Prime to bobble the ball. Prime made an attempt to recover – tapped the ball a few times before it sailed away. He wound up sprawled on the turf – distraught. Maybe knowing that was the game. A great game can’t end in another tie! But it looks like that is what would be. 
Pray wound up with a final chance to unknot the contest. With the wind whipping, it would take a valiant effort. It was Whiskey again playing hero – this time not running out of bounds but eating up chunks of the field with a big run, making a lot out of nothing. This just after Tom made a clutch grab on a wobbly pass to keep the game moving after a 4th and short when Pray was under pressure. There is definitely something freeing about the final drive and knowing you have to go for it on 4th. Pray survived another 4th and short with an outside run. Tabak pulled the flag just as the line was crossed. 
I wish there was more drama here, but you know how this one ended.

Stat Count IT!
Jewball to Storm who is just an absolute thrill to play with each week. I spoke in recap 1 how Jewball loves projects. Storm was never a project in terms of skills. But I do remember the guy that showed up to play with us that day at Woodmere Middle School. Pulling jerseys, getting into fights….I mean….he was called Storm for a reason.  I really didn’t think he would catch on with us. Now….he could run for office around here. Who doesn’t love and respect Storm. So….y’know Jewball for his performance on Sunday and for being a living breathing raging example of what it means to stick with it and commit. Great things happen. Honorable mention to Jill who bundled up and watched her man have himself one of the most memorable days in Jewball history.

When The Oracle created Jewball in the early to mid-90s he never imagined or could have dreamed that one day he would leave something called a “chat” because someone named “Yaron” posted a “selfie,” while wearing a surgical mask due to a pandemic, of two mating llamas. But here we are in 2020.

When Yoni Paritsky left the field after some game in 2013 – probably a Vets Rooks affair that he lost, in his Dolphins Marino jersey – same as it ever was – we likely said….see you next season…..never imagining or dreaming it would be seven years later that he would return. Why the break? Why so long? Who knows why these things happen. Mental blocks. Age. Injury. Fear of injury. Intimidation by age. Family obligations. All of the above. We will all be tested by such things. How do we respond to the test?

I judge Yoni harshly for the 7 years he missed – and his absence was likely the primary cause of the Dark Ages – but I also commend him for coming back yesterday. I commend Rabin for being our link to the Oracle, and Yoni, and Ivry and Sting. From the original game to what we do now. And for dragging Yoni back to the field. I wish I could fully process what it means to he catching passes from Marino again….as I did so many times for so many years – but…funny….when the game starts…it’s just football. The side plots become irrelevant. The background and atmosphere fade to black- you gotta play the game, execute….get that W – and hang an L on the opponent. 

It was a slow start for Marino and Colors in Week 7. Jordan and Ivry colliding. A sack. A pick. Very confused defensive scheming. Did you say Ivry??? He is not even supposed to be in the game. Right, so Colors was a bit of a roster mess as the game began. Legs was seemingly a no-show and Beast was not at all recovered from a leg injury sustained toward the end of his stunning QB performance from Friday. When Legs did show it came with a great attitude and determination but also a slew of debilitating back spasms….forcing him to the sidelines. So….fair or not….Munch stuck around to take reps for Beast. And Ivry stuck around to essentially play for Legs. Once that lineup was set….Colors did get into a better flow. However, back to the game….Yaron took full advantage in the early going. Hooking up early and often with Strom in the endzone (STAT!). Before Marino could even get acclimated to Jewball again, he was looking at 3-0 deficit. But, the fact is and always is….talent cannot be denied. Marino is a Quarter. Back. Seven years is a long time but his programming is see the field, see the defense, run the huddle, believe in the W. His MO has always been calm and commanding leader – and I think- even with the hiccups and picks – his team felt like we were in good hands. Because when the arm showed itself, we knew it was only a matter of time. The comeback begins with a bomb over the defense down the left sideline. Pray reaches up and the ball falls in just out of the reach of everyone else accept the man who had himself a day! Catch and run 40 yards to get Colors on the board. 3-1. Now, with Munch and Rabin permanently installed as the pass rush, Yaron was off balance. But this is no great excuse for what happened next. Yes, the pressure was intensified, but Dark just collapsed for about 45 minutes straight. Storm and Prime are dropping sure TDs. Yaron is overthrowing wide open men in the endzone. Pray is jumping routes like a demon….picking 3 off Yaron. 2 of em returned for TDs. Add to that Yoni and Jordan rekindling some of that old magic for 2 scores….and when the dust settled…..it was 5-4 with Colors on top. The great comeback is nearly complete, but there is 20 minutes on the clock. I believe that is when a sack of Yoni followed by a Goldberg P6 at the 5 tied the game. A real heartbreaking play. Yoni did bounce back to score one more with Pray making it 6-5. In a moment where Marino could have put the game away a few possessions later, he hit Ivry on a beautiful out. The ball zipped right between the receiver and the line…and Ivry makes the catch, but one foot in…no score. Daveo makes a catch then at the 5 and doesn’t get in. Dark defense stood up Colors and it made all the difference.

On the next possession Yaron was picked by Jordan which could have ended the game, but it was agreed to go 1 and 1 to extend what had been a phenomenal back and forth contest. With the ball at the 30, Colors had a great opportunity to win the game emphatically and ice the huge welcome back win for Marino. Colors had two lucky breaks on the drive when Sting knocked away a sure pick from Storm and on the very next play when Prime purposely knocked down a pick in the endzone thinking it was 4th when it was 3rd. But, even with those reprieves, Marino went heart over head and after pumping it in to Rabin to get halfway there, he overthrew to Rabin on 4th down and Yaron took over. He executed a nice drive using slants to Goldberg, which had been an effective tool most of the game. Tom, playing D both ways had 3 near picks which could have saved/ruined the game for his team (depending how you look at it). He had one of those almosts on this final drive….but Yaron survived. Even with the injury….he scrambles for a big 1st down. All Colors has to do is make the stop and secure a hard fought win…..but they cannot. Yaron deep to Sting. The big man corals the ball and keeps his feet in. TD Dark! The game is tied. Pray loses out on a Jewball. 

Week 7 treated us with the return of HoF’er Marino, back after an almost 10 season layoff. Will this be the start of a comeback??

When our forefathers came to this land many years ago, they established, what is now,  a yearly tradition. One that is celebrated by all, regardless of religion, race, color or creed.  Like butter to bread and apples to pie, there is nothing more American than Football on Thanksgiving.  According to the archives, it was because of the thanksgiving game in 2012 that Kut found Jewball.  (Also the last time that you’ll see those two things in the same sentence.)

Thanksgiving weekend is a series of 4 games in as many days. So when signups started, we expected a big flurry of activity, but like Rabin’s game, we knew the talent was there, but it was lacking. Through sheer grit and determination, we got 14 for Thursday, with a late signup by Mo as the opposing QB.

All was set…except the weather, 80% chance of rain, not looking good, but Commish had faith, he told us to hang on. Even on erev chag, Jordan said “wait until the am to make the call” and wait we did. The rain came, the clouds were there. Even at 7am, questions were still raised. But the rain seemed to be passing. Jordan made the call at 7:30. Game is ….ON! Like pigeons to a breadcrumb, the players came from everywhere, some sitting in traffic, others complaining about accidents. Regardless of origin, we arrived at the field to commence the 27th annual Jewball Turkey Bowl!

Teams were Old school vs New, Orange vs Brown, Native Americans vs Pilgrims. J, Bin, Kut, Big E, Steve O and Dave O Glick vs Mo, Salem, Legs, Wilmer, Sam, MK and Maor. Speed vs size. Old vs. Young.

As the game started, the heavens shined down upon us and the rain stopped. Rain is good for the ground and all, but certain things are given priority.

I could recap the game, but there was a lot of nothing. The wind played great defense and made balls miss on both sides of the field. Lots of running by Mo and lots of classic Rabin plays. Defense was solid on both sides and neither team was giving up much room. You know it’s a problem when Kut has more receptions than anyone else on the team. (FTR, he hasn’t dropped a pass in over 8 games.)  Some key plays: Jordan missing an easy catch that would’ve given us a 1-0 lead. Kut teaching Legs and Sam what a crackback feels like. Steve-O coming up with 2 huge picks, one a 95 yard return to greatness.  Mo trying to match that and going 80 yards before being brought down by Jordan and Kut. Jeremy catching 1 of 3 deep passes and running it in for a TD.  Mark being his usual self with great hands and making people miss. Legs flying all over the field, breaking up every play.  Big E finally understanding how accurate the chat was on Rabin’s huddle style. “you, run a slant” (and also cracking up about Glick’s.) BD, doing what BD does. Guy can still play, can’t wait to see you on the field more often. Dave-O calling the defense, kinda.

Final score was 1-1, a tie. But today wasn’t about scores or stats. It was about spending time with family and doing what we love. Jewball fam is stronger than blood. (Unless it’s Zada’s in J’s cap.) It was about getting out and playing ball, regardless of weather. While 2020 has been a hell of a year, Jewball has remained constant. It is the reprieve from the chaos. A safe haven from insanity. It is something that people can’t understand unless they’ve played. (and survived the chat)

So when we go around the thanksgiving feast tonight, I know that when asked what I’m thankful for, the answer is easily, JEWBALL!!

Game 1

As the players took the field there was one question to be answered. “where is everyone?” Traffic, which was the theme of this game. This was a battle of the defenses and there was plenty of coverage across the field. There were no uber open guys and all the plays were fought for. Pringles and his color crew took the ball first against a Singer/Munch defense scheme. Munch leading the line battle with Sam son of Prime and Singer setting the field looking to back the containment and shut down gains with Feit and Steve-o on the outsides and PJs and Ivry taking the middle. Game underway munch and sam bringing pressure putting up the good fight against Walls and Kut keeping the pressure on Pray. Swats and coverage put the ball in Feit’s hands soon after to battle Mighty, Dobs, Goldberg, and Gronk. A defense that does not like to miss flags. Fortunately, Mighty isn’t the only shifty player and Feit and Steve-o were causing misses with help from the excellent blocking up the field (except for that first play). The defenses held on and ball was going back and forth with only yards to show and an injured baller. Beast who knows to be at both games was there to step in and step up. Between the good picks and the Yaron-style off the receiver ones the game was up in the air everyone playing strong. At some point Singer stole one out of the air and brought it back for a score. Kut had a nice play up the sideline for a pylon touchdown*. Goldberg bullied the D as Pray snuck one into him in the endzone. Singer grabbed a well-placed beauty from Feit in tight coverage across the field in the other endzone. Dobs reeled one in on defense at some point because he wanted to touch the ball and keep his rep high for the fiancé. When Pray was not being sacked he was running from munch and Sam. When he had more time the jump ball to Gronk often worked. The Singer/Steve-o screens fight set up usually grabbed some yards if Steve-o didn’t step out avoiding prays wicked reach. The smart quick plays to get firsts avoiding Walls and Kut kept the momentum. Ultimately the defense stopped anyone else from scoring (and when they couldn’t a “respected” call was always there to help) and the game ended up in a tie. Good effort all around.
Top plays and props (no Jewball): Kut scored* beautiful pass from Feit to meet Singer in the endzone. A masterful block and run with Munch and Steve-o up the middle. An awesome run by Feit being shifty, screaming stuff, and following the blocks. Gronk grabbing balls out the air in unreachable territory for the defense (well place pray) Walls laughing at some bad attempts to block him as he pushed though. Excellent coverage and attitude by PJs. Dobs excellent flag pulling amongst Mighty and Gronk. Goldberg manning up this game and playing great. Signer dominating offense and defense. And great pressure on the line keeping pray on the move.

Game 2

As my intention upon arriving was to set up on grass, in the same way our ancestors did, I entered LHS and turned left, as our ancestors did, and parked by the softball field….as ancestors did. It was a really nice mix of old and new. Going through familiar motions from Jewball’s storied past, but setting up the field for the current generation. But also knowing that Klink, Tom, and Rabin would join me on the field I was building. That Mighty was playing next door – still being mighty. Steveo as well. We had done our jobs. We had maintained the tradition but also passed it on. These were thoughts percolating through my head as I serenely walked the field dropping cones, occasionally taking the time to kick a goose turd to the side. Ah, kicking goode turds…how i missed you. I had to set up the field because Yaron was coming straight from work and would not make it before 945. It was 915, and….

“Do you need more cones?!”

My concentration broken. The nostalgia lost. There was Yaron. He made it back early. Within 10 minutes he had reset the entire field.

Made it over to the turf to see the end of a tie game stay tied. Looked like a good game, but did not see any big plays. It went slightly into OT and the soccer guys were buzzing around the field like flies. Shoo!!!

I will begin by rejecting a myth outright. Actually two myths. 1.) Game 2 is a weaker game 2.) Grass is a weaker game. Neither are true. The players who sign up are responsible for the level of quality and satisfaction of the game. You get out what you put in. This is in a way why I like the world of EITHER. The world of Both lead to a sense of an entitlement and laziness. Of collecting stats. Of spreading out the energy output. Now….u get your game….and u best give it everything you got.

Yaron took ball first and drove the field. Rabin kept promoting his team’s need to bend and not break. And they listened by bending the entire length of the field. However, with Beast going stop and go deep to the left deep corner of the endzone, Jordan sniffed it out and picked the ball off with Beast right behind him.

Rabin, whose arm looked MUCH better than his last start, quickly converted the turnover into points. Placed a ball just over the top of the defender down the right sideline to a leaping (or tiptoeing) Pray. With no one behind him, Pray runs it 65 yards to score and put Rabin up 1-0. Now, Yaron was not struggling at all. He was pinpoint accurate and finding his guys open – even in tight windows – throughout the first half, but the drops were inexplicable and contagious. Beast losing control of one. Prime fumbling a ball in the endzone that him in the chest with no one around him. Stephen doing the same thing (but more about his debut later). Rabin was having no problem making hay with his receivers. He even threw to Whiskey once. (At the end of the game Whiskey volunteered to play line in a big spot. Straight face in the huddle: “You’re not not throwing to me anyway.”) When a mismatch between Salem and Klink presented itself, Rabin threw a deep ball that Salem hauled in, sliding at the front of the endzone. 2-0 Rabin and looking promising at the half. But Yaron wasn’t out of the game, because Rabin and crew kept bending. In fact, they were bending and breaking. The only reason the game was not tied was because of the drops. Yaron was using Tom very effectively to move the ball downfield on many TE rollout. Rabin and Colors started missing flag grabs on first attempts which allowed first downs and kept drives alive that should have been bottled up. Yaron started picking on the Tabak with Stephen being the taller receiver and even with Tabak draped on him, the jump balls went to Sting most of the time. Eventually one was caught for a point. 2-1 Rabin. But on the very next play, Rabin and Jordan hooked up (party like its 1999) for a circle route and run – 73 yards to a score! The lead is extended with 40 minutes to go. Yaron, beginning to wake up and his team making plays – including a huge first down snag by Prime – scored again with Stephen cutting to the middle of the endzone. Now 3-2 with about 20 minutes left. Here is where things really started to go off the rails for Rabin. On a 4th and long at Yaron’s 20, Rabin called a bold play. Pitch to Pray – who had thrown a few balls for Colors but nothing worked out – one was picked – then a throw back to Rabin….who was supposed to find Jordan cutting left to right in the endzone. When Jordan got to his spot, Rabin had already received the toss from Pray and Rabin threw a bullet which Jordan caught. TD!!! Amazing execution and a two score lead with about ten minutes left in the game! Wait…wait…..calling it back….The pass from Pray to Rabin was a forward pass…..Rabin’s strike is called off. No score. No two point lead.

Clinging to a one point lead now, the defense needs to make a stop and secure the game. Swarming around Yaron and going for the sack…..Yaron splits the rushers and tried to run for a first down. Before he can make it to the marker, his clears gets stuck in some dirt and he goes down. He goes down softly but he is rolling around and saying Oh no oh no. Its bad, he says. Worse than the last time, he says. He tries to get up. Not happening. He cannot put any pressure on it. Prime, Jordan and a few others are really upset. No, not because they care about Yaron being healthy or even surviving…but because how can we finish the game?? Meanwhile, people with actual souls like Tom, Beast, and Stephen are carrying Yaron off the field. Those who remain on the field and left Yaron for dead are negotiating how to finish the game. Trade Pray….trade Rabin….Regardless, it felt like Rabin’s win was assured. The loss of Yaron could not be made up for. Just as Pray was about to decide if he could take snaps for the opposition…..Yaron is seen jogging. Wait, no prancing! Legit he is hopping around doing Tik Tok dances! What happened??? Apparently, ya see…it was simply the patella so all u gotta do is snap it back in. Those who heard the snap and saw the maneuver claim they will never be the same. Jill was disgusted.

So, Yaron flosses his way back onto the field. But Colors still feels pretty good. Yaron is hurt. They are up 1. With one stop to make. They can taste the W.

On the next play Yaron throws a pick. Whiskey starts the process by making a great diving tip so Stephen can’t get a clean handle on the ball. It floats to Pray who picks it….no…wait….he doesn’t pick it…..He tips it as well! And it gently falls behind him…..into the waiting, opportunistic arms of Beast. Holy Skirtsteaks! Beast is all alone and jets to the endzone. Instead of a game ending pick…..we have a tie game with the clock all but run out. Rabin has little to no mojo left. A desperation hook and ladder elicits a goffer ball.

Game should be over being the time frame, but no one has anywhere to go and two Jewball ties in one week is bad for business. So, we play on. Yaron drives the field, once again with Stephen being the main target. And the new kid with chill demeanor and lengthy arms makes a nice toe tap grab in the back of the endzone to give Yaron the unlikey lead in OT. Rabin gets another crack at it, but the game ends on a Beast pick after a last gasp throw to Legs. A shame and disgrace for Rabin and Colors. A marvel and miracle for Yaron and Dark.

Yaron gets a most well earned Jewball. Combining all our favorite qualities. True grit and masterful skill.

See y’all tomorrow for Turkey Bowl.