Jewball Lyrics
Look at that skill with those rhymes
It can only mean one thing
Shit on singer time
You call this kid king of the snow?
Jordan there’s something you should know.
Hes a piece of crap who won’t play line
He wants the ball every time.
Got a game together this week and he’s hailed as a king.
But look at his fingers he’ll never have a ring.
Singer your last two weeks were pure luck
To me and your high school buds you’re still a shmuck
Some of you might think this might be rude.
Thats only cause you don’t know this singer dude.
You think you’re good and you’re all that.
But look at your competition man you’re playing rat.
Give it some time and you’ll see the truth.
Singer should be playing in a clown suit
That’s the end of my rant today
Singer go cry to your QB Pray
Beg for passes that you can’t catch
You make the dude look like Charlie Batch.
*Mike drop*
-Maor
—————————
Singer response
This kid talks a big game
But Never tasted the fame
Plays 3 times a season
Has no numbers but that ain’t the reason
Trying to steal my 1 and only stat
That’s going after the rat
Show up and play more you may get to score
Racing down field like an Enzo,
Not letting you make it in the endzone.
Put on his tunes as he jukes,
Boxing out defense like he hoops
Just as SFA taking on Duke
Got a powerful force like luke.
Before and after the game you know he’s chillin
It’s always better when yaron is the villain.
No free bars, he’s always on the clock,
Come up the sideline he’s good for a block.
Taking jewballs from those who didn’t make the cut
Taking jewballs from those who ain’t Kut
-Steveo
Hit up yaron on the venmo,
He’s prescribing benzos,
Ain’t about that chronic
Mixing up some tonics
Heal you with that ether,
Passing up the reefer,
Thinks klinks article is a joke,
That his argument is up in smoke
Get me in that meeting,
J’s argument is fleeting,
My words fighting for my cause
Manager is looking for a clause
15 sons is plenty,
Get there at nine twenty,
Walls ain’t backin down,
Turn this putz into a clown
Poppa reeking havoc,
Soccer fight is tragic,
They gone and poked the bear,
Now they best beware
-Steveo
Hey,
You wanna perceive the meaning,
But the moment is fleeting.
Let us do what we do,
and we’ll interpret the view.
Light up and sit down,
And then pass it around.
Let it open your mind
It’s the prime wonder kind.
If its affecting your vision,
Then you’ll have extra precision.
Gonna feel a little lucid,
So just listen to the music.
Let your mind unfold,
You’re no longer controlled.
Welcome to my wonderland
This is understand.
-Steveo
Every page a different story
But it’s all the same book
Happy to be in this chapter
Whether as a vet or a rook
We all run the same routes
We all gonna fly or hook
At the end of the day
All the hands are shook
Young blood or old,
We all brave the cold
Truths on the field unfold
Through recaps they are told
On the chat the players trolled
In the harsh conditions, characters mold
When writing, words can be bold
We’ll know what’s talk by who holds the gold
-Steveo
Some play were rescinded
And Feit got hella winded
Fumbles kept the ball alive
there goes mighty with the dives
MK running through the snow
munch and singer heavy blows
What j is filming no one knows
Look who made it the brother Os
Ball going over primes head
Yaron throw it to pray instead
Beast is knocking people out,
Yaron is trash we hear him shout
BD is here but no pic(k)
And no one tried to grab Kuts ….
-Steveo
I play through pain like I’m sadistic
Prove I’m more than a statistic
Humans lie and numbers true?
Than theres no difference between me and you
I play like there is more to me
I’m undrafted but undoubtedly
I’ll have them looking wait and see
But the leagues is a monstrosity
-Steveo
I ain’t lyin, gettin old
Left Sidelinin’ in the cold
Felt a pop in my calf
Commish relyin on his staff
Felt like Pops, on my path
Season twenty, do the math
All the violence and the wrath
Get me ready for the draft
Still show up for the games like fandom
Still making teams like random
-Jordan
All of you might love singer
Better dish him that middle finger
Getting beat on every play
Really nothing else to say
Hes a one trick pony
When he lines up against me I know he can’t hold me
There goes rat having his back
Tell me you maor give singer some slack
But I don’t owe you guys jack
Singer it can’t be overstated
You my friend are overrated
-Maor
Why u picking on my boy singer
Rather throw to him than any Josh Friedman ringer
Hands soft like charmin
Routes run like garmin
-Feit
To the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire”
B-sh is on the barbecue
beer pong table has a que
Cornhole, bball, poppers too
There so much you can do
Music pumping next to booze
Play against munch and you’ll lose
Pong and Cornhole plays in twos
Salem dunking without shoes
Only come after sun
Frisbee bouncing off your thumb
Is that Nirvana I think it’s Dumb
Kuts balls gonna hurt someone
Eat the brownies go to space
Keep on drinking steady pace
So much poppers stuffin face
Yaron serving up an ace
Bourbon bourbon bourbon bourbon
No Zada, Rabin, ain’t no turban
PJs laughing at something quite disturbin
I think that’s Salem he’s returning
Fat man chair get on up
There’s some people yo whaddup
Tefillin date wrap it up
Grass and glass Nevermind yup
– Steveo
Aches and bruise, feels worse to lose
If I had to choose, always roll with my crew
Big man stepping up to prove
With rhythm and groove
Battling blues
Every play a chess move.
Never yield, left it out on the field
With a broken shield the pick sealed
Getting lost in the reel, does not allow one to heal
Achilles’ heel slashed by tungsten steel
We’ll come back around, it’s a Ferris wheel
Gonna be stronger next game,
We have a title to claim
Blood on the doorframe,
We passing over your name
– Steve-O
Lift up the cloche
A feast from B-sh
Need a show to watch?
Dave-o’s mic’s a wash
Waking violence today
Happy birthday J
Got the classic props
Spiras here to stay
Balls slams from Bert
It’s his bro that he hurt
Started playing on grass and dirt
Milkman to Oracle first convert
Logan’s grab comes with a clash
Smiling with a mustache
Hash stash, car crash
BD wants to Pray bash
If your windows left unhooked
Beast got his sacks in the book
Take a double look
You got beat by The Rook
Egg king, where he at?
I just spotted Waldo’s hat
My man avoids the spat
Came close to Eck combat
Waiting till he heals
We want Snow on the field
DK got a sack lunch,
But he wants a full meal
Pops took a knee
To let Eddie live free
Allmans guarantee
To be like TBD
Now he’s beating the weather
Goldberg keeps getting better
He may be mediocre however
Ernie’s game is real clever
We played through the disease
With Gronk and the Cronies
Grabbing flags with great ease
Stella on my team please
His pleasures inflated
Dobs often negated
Klinks underrated
Him and Dachs are related
Get a Jewball award
With Kut on the board
All the people he gored
When Legs played and scored
With his car broken down
Maor calls Singer a clown
Who’s not around?
Oh Salems renowned
What he had to undergo
The privilege of Mo
When it starts to snow
The pup is all go
Carries teams on his back
The rat got the stats
As sharp as an axe
Are cuts from the Dax
Prescott aint around
MKs on the ground
Zinn can astound
ROY if he is crowned
Munch see you later
Look out for the gator
Need someone to cater?
Take O, no one greater
In Shabbat attire
PJs is fire
Get your game higher
With Prime’s weed supplier
What Bin can find
When he comes from behind
Great guy and great mind
Team Tom I’m aligned
On Thanksgiving Days
It’s Jesus who saves
Sam lost for decades
Now it’s daddy he craves
No line is broken
When it’s led by Oppen
My man Pray with devotion
A QB in motion
Watch for the Solo collision
It’s a life sake decision
A position with precision
Dachs got the ambition
Now he’s out of the cast
Stats tells me he’s fast
Expectations surpassed
Stings best in class
Up in the rhyme tower
The wizard’s magical powers
Watching that video for hours
Hungry for stats Storm devours
If you’re looking for good fun
Try winning with Goodman
Molly’s game is his top one
Vegh aint talkin to top gun
The man with rub
I want Big E’s hug
Shots like slugs
That Whiskeys a thug
In the huddle he depicts
Yaron’s ball may be slicked
Feit’s BTS was great script
And FC really clicked
His first game was dicey
But now Yoni is Icy
While Zada plays nicely
His chat games quite spicy
Zez playing in Israel
Poppers is his meal
Hey is the Mantis real?
Oh he is the real deal
Want a player that’s taller
Jack is the best offer
If you looking for slaughter
Irv is a baller
Playmaka is brash
But his game is cash
No I gotta dash
Ill be back in a Flash
-Steve-O
On a dark New York highway, dank wind out my rear
Warm smell of Professor rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My stomach heavy and my sight grew dim, I had to stop for my life
There she stood in the doorway, I heard heavens bell
And I was thinkin’ to myself, “This could be a restroom or this could be hell”
Then I lit up a match and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say
“Welcome to the highway rest stop
Such a convenient place (such a haunting place)
Such a food disgrace
Plenty of stalls at the highway rest stop
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can find peace here”
My stomach is definitely twisted, she got the garlic knots, uh
She got a lot of pretty, pretty pies that she calls friends
How they dance on the main street, I’m starting to sweat
Some eat to remember, some wish to forget
So I called up the counter, “Please bring me my slice”
He said, “We haven’t had new cheese here since 1969”
And still, those rumbles are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night just to hear them say
“Welcome to the floor of your restroom
Such a safe place (such a safe place)
as a lay my face
leaning on the seat in my restroom
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
am I going to die?”
Mirrors reflect my feelings, I guess I also ate rice
And she said, “We are all just prisoners here of the new Twix pie”
And in the master’s chambers, staring at my feet
feel stab in with my gut from pies, but they ordered the family feast
Only thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the restroom back where I was before
“Relax, ” said the Tums man, “We are programmed for relief
You can get the check any time you like, but you will never leave”
-Steve-O
Okay
This is a song that uh
There’s a lot of Christmas songs out there and uh
not too many Hanukkah songs
So uh
I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids
who don’t get to hear any of Ernie’s songs
Here we go
Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Hanukkah
So much funukah
To celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without an MVP
Here’s a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
Josh Scott Dobbs inflates the menorah
So do Steve-o and Dave-o, and the great Ice-man-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carbon Deli
Logan from Cunningham and O and Ivry
Prime’s bottom half is Jewish, Pray is in both too
Put their kids together, with Sam and Scooter too
You don’t need to “Find Waldo” or “Jingle Bell Rook”
‘Cause you can grab Kuti’s flag but just not his… Knish- both Jewish
Put on your yaron-ulke
It’s time to get Blitz-ikahed
The big Fan of the Seattle Supersonicahs
Celebrates Hanukkah
Stats and Oppen, yes two Jews
But guess who is? Legs and B-sh too- both robots
We got Dachs and his brother Dear Daxxy
Put Dachs and Dax together- not too shabby
Some people think that Adhemar Cordereo-Soliz
Well he’s not, but guess who is
All three Ks is
So many Jews are in Jewball
Johnny Storm isn’t, but I heard that Salem is
Tell your friend Sherriff-ica
It’s time to celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get Pajama-kahs
Oh this lovely, lovely Zada-akah
So drink your Stella and Tom-icah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really trust in J-icah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah
Happy Hanukkah
-Steve-O