The Revolution (2018 – 2021)

10/6/18

REMINDER AGAIN THAT WE ARE GOING 9:00 am – 10:45 am – North Woodmere Park

Unfortunately, I can’t accommodate everyone who wanted to get in on this game. Just a matter of numbers. Two things I will advise…..a.) sign up early and b.) Jump over to the WhatsApp….I get a feeling the days for group emails are numbered. Which is noteworthy because when we switched to email….I thought this was the most incredible organizing technique ever invented. It was originally phone calls! Dozens of phone calls on Saturday night hoping that people showed up in the morning. Anyway, check last email for link and get on the chat.

Right now we have 19 interested in playing. That’s 3 too many for an already crowded 8 on 8 and 5 too few for a tournament. So I had to make 3 cuts. One of them was easy. Myself. I can’t be there the whole time so I’m out. I’ll be there – set up, film etc….but not gonna take a spot. The other two cuts have to be the last two people to sign up, so that is Shuey Offman, which sucks cuz he’s a tremendous talent…and Moshe aka PJs, which sucks because he is a Jewball savior. I am sorry, guys. For the rest of you who signed up….show up…cuz you are taking people’s spots. If anyone on these teams can’t make it….let me know so I can get Mo and Shuey in.

TEAMS

BLUE

QB – Offman (shehechyanu v’kimanu v’higiyanu l’zman hazeh)
Rabin
Tabak
Horwitz
Kut
Ari (Eddie’s son)
Azriel
Chadow

WHITE

QB – Yaron
Mighty
Gronk
Goldberg
Gronk Plus 1
Gronk Plus 2
Steveo
Daniel

I don’t know Gronk’s plus 2….so if they are superstars…obviously, can make a trade.

See you on the field,

Jordan

10/9/18

It has been an amazing 13 year run of Jewball emails, with trash talk, last minute cancelations, and recaps. But the Whats App era is upon us…so away we go….

JOIN NOW

I beg your indulgence as I will allow anyone here to reply all and cut and paste any recaps they may have from as far back as you choose….it’s been an honor to serve you, Jewballers. I can recap on WhatsApp too…and I have for softball so it’s possible, but not the same…

We will organize the games weekly on the chat. Respect the chat….Jewball organizing and trash talk ONLY. I don’t care if you need a spoon or to spoon…or have a tzedakah that gives spoons to orphans in Israel….Jewball only.

End of the Jewball Emails

Recap Week 2 – 10/14/18

Great turnout out today, and a great way to follow up a great opening day. The sun was shining football was in the air. A bunch of new faces survived the throwback memories of the group and still wanted to play.

Well Tom took to the field first. Marching down the field was a breeze. One first down, two first downs. That was up until Dave-O came up with a big interception and took back down field. With Katz at the gun throwing for 3 straight tds with a shut down defense.

With a strong 3-0 lead white thought they had it in the bag. Until Tom came back with 2 tds unanswered. With a 3-2 game on the line tom marched down the field one last time. With 4th and long. A Great throw was made but the defense prevailed. A 3-2 win for white.

Recap Week 3 – 10/21/18

Props to everyone who showed up yesterday. The wind was whipping something fierce and if you were just waiting around for people to show up (hey, @15167100357!) it was intimidatingly cold. But….everyone showed, the sun started peaking out, and the game began. Once it did, the coldness became an afterthought, but the wind was still a factor. So when White and Katz went up 2 quickly, it seemed like the game was in the bag. Blue was only moving the ball by Gronk QB keepers and there was just no way a game could be won that way, even if his runs were effective at times. But as the wind died down and the field changed directions, Gronk became a QB. Like a real one. He even invented something that Ive never seen in all my years of our clockless (read it again @16465299150 and @15163132292…its says clockless) game. Gronk – as only he could do – created the hurry up offense. When he says it – you sort of the just buy it and react accordingly…its his bizarre gift. So there we were rushing to the line and allowing his offense to run at a fast pace keeping White just slightly off our timing. But, that wasn’t the cause of the game’s outcome. The tides turned and Blue put up 2 knotting the game at 2. Goldberg then came up with a big pick and Katz ran one 65 yards – blazing speed – to give White a lead again. But Blue would not be denied and converted their 5th 3rd and long of the game (@14809935845’s boys….and @13479560404 doing a lot of the clutch catching….but @15165240526 MONEY on these routes and connecting with his WRs). And it was tied again. Maybe feeling overconfident, Blue went for it on 4th and short on their side of the field and took a sack. This resulted on an easy conversion for White and they took the 4-3 lead. The call was made first to 5 wins. Blue went 3 and out and White got the ball to the 40 but could not pick up the 1st down in 3 attempts! Gronk had the game in his grasp and he did not squander it. On the final play of the game, with pressure on he ran to the right sideline and zipped one to the awaiting hands of Eddie, who happened to be playing with his two kids (always cool….also cuz thats a first for us)…and game is over. White failed to take a game they had and Blue showed never to give up. I was very impressed with game of @13479560404 but the Jewball goes to @15165240526 for being a true leader of his team and willing them to a win. Welcome also to @15163182183…playing his first Jewball game.

Who is in for WEEK 4?

Recap – Week 6 – 11/4/18

Special day for Jewball last week as Rabin played on his 40th bday. I’ve been at this for a good 18 years and Rabin predates me. Nice to see B-sh there as well. A vets vet. And personally for me….battling with Steveo is meaningful. We go back a long way too. But what was best is that we have all these new guys who are finding their way and becoming seamlessly woven into the Jewball fabric. The Yarons, and Bs, and Ds, Aris…..its great. Right now….the games are good. And the season looks like we will go strong through the winter. That is the plan. Props of course to Eddie, who I believe is in his 50s. Showing us how to do longevity. Scoring a TD and everything. Finally , congrats to Tom who threw and commanded a really precise and methodical win for his team over Rabin, who also played well….just a few too many mistakes. Tom wins 7-5. Jewball to Tom. Who wants some Week 6?

Recap – Week 7- 11/11/18

We started week 6 with some great football weather, no soccer, players coming in from Israel, players popping up last minute, and B-sh being pulled back and forth between us and the gym. It took a while (Klan Award for you @19175571039) but eventually we had our 7-7 game. I’ll footnote here that before we were full steam, Gronk was shellacking Tom 3-0. And it was sort of a sign of things to come for Tom. Coming off an impressive effort at QB in Week 6, it was a good time to build. Instead, the passes were a bit floaty and it ended in an injury. Tom and his team overcame these obstacles in the end to defeated Gronk 5-4. Rather gritty game with about 25 memorable minutes of sudden death overtime. Kut and B-sh made all the difference once combined on the D line giving Gronk no time to pass or run. Changed the whole game and gave Tom (and eventually Mikey) the time needed to complete their passes and pull out the win. Newcomers Shiloh and Adam showed max effort and was a satisfying win for Tom and Blue.

Recap – Week 8 – 11/25/18

You may have noticed my excitement going into this game and my more than usual bitterness and frustration during it. The reason for my excitement was evident. The guys I played football with for so many years and from the very beginning were all going to gather on one field (at least!) one more time. One of them with their kid! A kid who was probably not even born the first time Doggy and I played Jewball together. And Yakir, Kenny, Rabin, and B-sh…guy who played Jewball before me and let me join their game. So it meant a lot. And you combine that history with guys like Kut and Steveo who have been around for a bunch of years as well, and then u throw in all the “rookies” and it really brings worlds together. A shehecheyanu kind of day. And I will apologize to everyone for my bad attitude today. I think its personal. And it’s a problem. Instead of being able to fully enjoy the reunion I think I got caught up in the passage of time, seeing that we weren’t what we once were. Instead of appreciating what we stil can do, I got caught up in what we cant do anymore. If I ruined the experience for my fellow old school Vets, I apologize. Despite me, come back! Always welcome.

Although Kenny was with Katz, Tabak, Goldberg, Ari, Eddie, Kut, and All Man (which is essentially the new school team) he was the lone original Jewballer. The rest lined up with Rabin. It was decided that Rabin and Doggy would take turns at QB and Doggy took ball first. And hallelujah! On the first set, Doggy to Pup over the middle and Pup has young legs and speed and agility and there he goes! All the way to the house. Old School is up very early. But Pup not done….Katz takes the ball to lead New School….and right away….a Pup P6…Old School up 2-0. But would u believe that was the last time OS scored?? 😕 Rabin and Doggy had their moments, but mixed into those moments were 4 Picks (2 by Kenny!) and the magic of the first 5 minutes of the game was never recovered. The good news is….no body died! Nobody even got hurt! And @19173756857 had such a good time he has agreed to QB every week through the winter!! (He didnt). Katz and Goldberg had themselves a day. Goldberg had 2 picks and at least 2 scores. He picks himself up a Jewball. Great effort. The game never got completely out of hand. Was a battle until the end but OS could never get that 3rd score to make it close. Final was 4-2.

TOP PLAYS: Rabin to Doggy on a TE go route. Katz hitting Tabak on the sideline with both of them fading out of bounds. Doggy bullet to Yakir for the first down. Doggy bullet to Rabin for the touch down! No…wait…that’s the 10 yard line marker. Doggy saying “Don’t hurt me” and then realizing that he sounded like a &^*(* so he started hurting Kut to make up for it. Ari and Pup battling for the jump ball.

WEEK 9….coming up. Let me know…

Recap – Week 9 – 12/2/18

So our first double header in about 12 years (how could it have been that long?!) happened. Hard to just the quality of the games because of the mud (so much mud). Mud that we churned and churned until the center of the field looked like Belmont on a rainy day. The weather itself wasn’t bad but the field was pretty ridiculous. Playable, but did not lend itself to quality. The games were competitive and fun, but not what we would have wanted. We also wrecked the park. Like wrecked. So we are gonna lay low next week and try Bay Park turf in Far Rockaway. I’ll go check it out this week and confirm if the rumors are true. We lost @15164924622 to a shoulder about 5 minutes into the 8 am game and the Beast was late so games kind of went on as planned. Bottom line is and was…nobody we have now will beat Yaron on a regular basis. Yes, @15163762963 beat him on Thanksgiving, but…and I say this with careful consideration of our past: Yaron – if he keeps playing with us – can be one of the all time greats. Hes a real QB. We have had competent play from non QBs over the years to get us through, but we have had only 2 regular actual QBs: Katzenstein and Marino. And now Yaron can be a 3rd. What we have never had was 2 QBs playing at the same time. Marino joined a few years after Katzenstein left and now Yaron comes in a few years after Marino left. We need someone to challenge him on a week in and out basis. Yes, Rabin will try….as Hillel nobly did this past Sunday….but it’s no contest. Hes a real QB and only a real QB will beat him. Let’s get one! Yaron won both games by 3 scores. First game riding mostly Jordan (3TDs) and second game Beast and Tabak. Almost too easy. But slightly not competitive fun games that take up over 3 hours on a Sunday is a damn good problem to have in Jewball….where we couldn’t get more than a few games 2 years ago. Safe to say we are alive and well. Buying new belts, introducing new players weekly, exploring new fields, and playing more football. God bless Jewball and God bless America. Who wants som e Week 10 Maccabee Bowl? Half way point in the season!

Recap – Week 10 – 12/9/18

First of all, gotta begin with a thank u to @15165327902 who went from a super rookie (recruited by @15163762709 about 10 years ago) to veteran, now to league running benefactor. And I don’t think he has lost a step. Love the Vets that are coming around again this season. To play any game with @17189096907 is always very meaningful to me (he was in the league with @15163762963 before me). And to see him jawing (in his low key Yakir way) with @15163044646 is so cool. Yakir has been discussing rules with people on the field for 20 years! And the reason it comes up with him always is because Yakir is gamesmanship master and plays hard so he wants to know exactly what the rule is so he can take it to the very edge of that rule.

And so a game was played. Brilliant December weather. No wind…sun…about mid 30s and that field! We had 7s and everyone pretty much came close to on time (we gotta do better!). The matchup was touted as two gunslingers facing off in a duel in the town square and that is exactly what we got. But as teased, it was eventually a one point win for Yaron, but the game never felt close. It was a wave of Zez in the beginning – kind of….The game actually started with the big man Yaakov playing LB and picking a ball right over the middle on first down and P6ing Zezzy to put him in a 7-0 hole. But as the game went on, seemed to just be a hiccup at the start…..cuz Zezzy and crew were dominating. Everything was working. Yakir picked Yaron twice, Jordan breaking off runs, B-sh keeping Zez clean, Zez scrambling, Gronk eating up chunks of yards at a time, and an incredible atomic bomb TD to PJs. Before you knew it the clock hit 10:10, Yaron couldn’t get anything going, and Zez was up by 2 scores. 3 unanswered TD in dominant fashion. It was the kind of game where we literally said “Do you want to switch to teams, switch up QBs” Anything to make it competitive and give Yaron a chance. His guys could not get open and he was missing everyone when they were (and also a drop/pick in the endzone 😝). Yaron said…no, we will stick. Then added….if u score one more, we will change up teams. Well, guess what happened? Zez didnt score one more. And Yaron started making picks, making plays, and the zone defense locked Zezzy down. He became a running QB but could not run enough to get his team into the endzone. Eventually it was Yaron down a score, needing the TD to tie and the extra point to win. And there was Zada getting Jordan to bite on an out…but he goes up….deep…a bobble…the catch! And the score for the tie. Then the extra point floats to the back of the endzone and Ari hauls it in. Yaron takes the one point lead. We played some extra time just to play….but that was the game. Yaron wins by 1. For the drive, grit, picks made, and scoring….Yaron gets the Jewball.

Weather is trending well going into the weekend. I’m still looking at Bayswater turf for this week. Who wants some WEEK 11?

Recap – Week 11 – 12/16/18

The temps said 40….but the Real Feel was 22. My bad. There was some rain. There was plenty of wind. There was a last minute change of field. From green turf to goose turd. The field only looked straight if you were on LSD. There was a dead body in the bushes. The kind of morning where you wonder what the hell are we doing out here. And where the hell is Rabin going? Oh, he showed up in his tux and his going home to change into football gear….that makes sense. And anyway, was test of our mettle to be out there and it challenged our commitment to Jewballin’….and we kicked that tests ass. All 14 show and the game is played…played intense and it was a damn good one. While Rabin was dealing with his wardrobe malfunction, Yaron was throwing for both teams and he was dealing! The reunion was on with Press in from Philly, Ari in from Queens and the rest of the Croton Jewballers gathered once again to do what they do best – almost win. But Yaron and Vegh had other plans. They decided that before Rabin came back they’d spot us two scores. So Yaron goes pure Veghan and rides the Reunion outsider to put the Jewballers up 2-1 before Rabin re-arrived. In the rough conditions, offense was at a premium (anyone watch the Giants?) and the defenses were playing aggressive. Honorable mention to Jewball legend Klink who came out and brought the passion and intensity he is known for. Guy always pushes himself to the limits and it’s a lesson to us all. Maybe you cant always play…but when u can…go all out every play. With Rabin taking over at QB and the pressure coming and the wind swirling……the scoring stopped tot the Ballers. The only completion was Rabin to Press behind the line and Press to Ari bullet near the 1st down marker. But it wasn’t enough. And Yaron managed one by scrambling a bit and Beast was able to run one back to tie the game with 30 minutes left on the clock. That’s when Tom became Tom Brady and he told Rabin to make like Drew Bledsoe and take a seat old man..

I got this. And he did. Ran the first two plays to get get the Ballers a 1st down. Then a deep out to Jordan for 30 yards. Rabin made a grab to get them to edge of the endzone….and Tom to Jordan on a cross and the lead is regained. Yaron gave his a team shot, but they let him down. Drop by Wilmer on a 28 yard over the top pass and a drop in the endzone by Klink kept Tom and company with the lead. With the clock striking 11 and Tom with the ball….it was score and win. And it was a deep button hook to Ari followed by an out to Rabin…..and Rabin actually evades a tackle…and is in the endzone! Jewballers win!!! We cant be stopped! Who wants a piece of us!??? Not gonna announce the weather yet, but we have a ton of games coming up….Sunday then Tuesday, then Sunday then Tuesday. But let’s go one at a time. Who wants WEEK 12? I got 3already. 11 spots left…

Recap – Week 12 – 12/23/18

Week 12 began with a lot of negotiating. In what will probably be our last game at NW Park (because we have decimated that place 🙌), we begged our way on. Starting with Tammy, then Ryan, then the unknown groundskeeper who finally gave us the okay to play at the edge of the park. After ruining half the fields….my guess is they have had enough. So….priority right now is getting ourselves a piece of turf somewhere. If not, we always have Bayswater. On to the game: Week 12 feature a throwback matchup of Tom v. Rabin. Two guys who have the basic QB skills requisite, can run a huddle, and occasionally make a dazzling throw. But also can be very off. And when off….its scary. And guess who started the game quite on yesterday? Rabin had recruited Chanan back into the fold after half a decade of missing out. He was Beast before Beast. The guy who comes down to be physical and take your head off if it comes down to it. So maybe that reunion explains Rabin’s early focus. But whatever it was, Rabin had his squad moving the ball early and often. After a passing score to Chanan and a Jordan run, Rabin was up 2-0 and Tom and company seemed unable to get anything going after an opening 45 yard bomb to Kut. Tom couldn’t get on the same page as Mendy when open. Beckoff couldn’t get on the same page as his feet or the football, while everything was clicking for Rabin. Logan was diving and bouncing and clawing his way around and causing general chaos. Even Rabin and Wilmer were finding a groove. Gonna be an easy one…but that’s never how it goes. Credit to Tom and his team….they remained very cool headed. Perhaps realizing that Rabin hadn’t thrown a pick yet (though Vegh had dropped one) and two scores is not an insurmountable lead. Beckoff starts to bust off some runs, and Tom scrambles for more. And in a great coverage battle between Goldberg and Wilmer, Goldberg makes about four adjustments on a perfect up top ball from Tom and the lead is cut in half. And here come the picks. Goldberg pick….followed by Kut TD. And wouldnt ya know it….next play…Snake P6 and with fifteen minute left in the game….Tom is up 3-2. Rabin orchestrates a 13 minute drive that results in a TD after Rabin finds some speed and elusiveness to run 26 yards and tie the game! We played sudden death overtime for 15 minutes but no one scored (though Wilmer had a dropped sure P6). 3-3 your Week 12 final. No Jewball cuz no one wins, overall a well played game. See everyone tomorrow. ✌@14809935845. I’ll resend teams later.

Recap – The Jesus Bowl 2018

Not sure how far back the Jesus Bowl goes, but it may precede the actual @15164042714. The Turkey Bowl has more tradition. The 20– Bowl has more prestige. But the Jesus Bowl was always the most fun. A bunch of Jews playing Jewball taking advantage of the rest of the world celebrating a holiday that we are free not to celebrate….yet we are on vacation and thereby get all the perks of the holiday without having to spend any time with our family and loved ones. Praise @15164042714! And so….on 12/25 we tiptoe like Santa on a roof toward vacant turf fields and, while not a creature was stirring, sneak in a game.

Jesus Bowl had some extra flavor this year. Firstly, we have been on a roll! For the past few years the Bowl Games have been our only games, maybe with a pre Season or March games in the mix. And this year, we came into the J Bowl with 12 games strong and a Turkey Bowl under our belt. With new players (and good players!) joining the family and names from our storied past popping in on a weekly basis, this has been a truly magical season. Let’s keep it going!

And Tuesday’s game was representative of our 2018-19 run. There was Yaron, Beast, and Logan – our new toys, still marveling us with their flair, talent and energy. Gronk, Goldberg, All Man, and Vegh – our sophomores….and 🤞our future (I’ll HAVE to retire at SOME point). And then of course my fellow Vets – Rabin, B-sh, Kut, and Mighty. So many years….so many games. We compete, but we also are like wow…..cant believe we got here. And then, to top it all off and to show just how diverse we are….Eddie, who plays with his kid! With his kid!! Battling out there! With 20 somethings. He is competing! And Leibe…my friend for a long time, great athlete finally makes it down for his first Jewball game. And finally, Berger…a QB! A really good QB! His first game….and maybe the first of dozens?? We dont know…what will be next. The future of Jewball is unpredictable…but after 5 years of struggle….it is unpredictable in a good way! How big can it get?? Praise @15164042714!!!

Oh yeah, the game….Yaron v. Berger. Berger coming down in his red meter maid vest and sunglasses, forward baseball cap like straight up Billy Ho ready to hustle us. And Yaron decked out in emerald green soccer Jersey like a Saudi prince. Game on!

Turf field sparkling and new on a crisp sunny morning. What could be better. Like all games….Jesus Bowl needed to find its flow. Early drives by both sides were start and stop. Yaron seems to have better ball movement, but could not punch it in. Felt like it would be a close low scoring game….it wasn’t low scoring. I believe Logan scored the first TD of the game for Red. Don’t recall how it happened. By the end of the game it felt like another lifetime. After that it was a frustrating drive that took a spectacular catch from Rabin in heavy traffic and a classic Mighty catch-me-if-you-can run to put Red up 2-0. Then it was Gronk with a sweet one handed P6 ….and before Green could blink, they were in a 3-0 hole. Would it ever end? It did. Very next possession a slant to Jordan with a crucial pick/block by Leibe turned into an 80 yard run and score. Chipping away. Two plays later Yaron gets a one handed P6 of his own and…..Green is back! Now the offenses were heating up, as were the defenses. Everything was hard fought. Kut and B-sh were tearing it up at the line, moving Green back on the regular. There was energy in every huddle for every snap and in the capture of every yard. Berger floating a ball out into space….suddenly snatched by his receiver like a swooping hawk. Checking down and heaving a bomb to Gronk just over the tight coverage from Yaron. Yaron responding with a scheme that freed Vegh deep for first down and then a screen to Beast…zip, cut, stiff arm, cut, stiff arm…zip for a TD. 4-3 Red on top with 45 minutes on the clock. To my personal dismay/delight (Mighty gets it) Yaron calls Jordan’s number play after play on the ensuing possession and the result is a scrap with the Wolverine himself in the right corner of the endzone and a mind bending TD (I’m not even sure what happened). 4-4 with 25 minutes to play! But…the turning point of the game was silent one. It was the silent ache in Yaron’s arm. And the silent virility of Berger’s arm. The rest of the game for Green was pick by Mighty, pick by PJs, pick by Mighty. The rest of the game for Red was Mighty and Gronk picking up yards and scoring TDs (Mighty finishes with 2, Gronk the hat trick). They did what they do. Mighty eating up chunks of turf with speed and trickery. Gronk being big and handsy. And Berger knows what he is doing. Great game for 105 minutes. The last fifteen…Red stepped on Green’s throat. Twas a merry game all in all. Love that we got the pic too. And to all a good night.

Recap – Week 13 – 12/30/19

I drank enough to slur through a quick WEEK 13 recap….and here it is: There was ugliness, insult, and injury. The company was good, weather was accommodating, and field was well manicured turf, but there was a lot wrong with Week 13. I’m not gonna beat up on Rabin…but wasn’t pretty out there. Late, off target, mildly racist. Just not what we want from a leader. So work to be done there. Onward and upward. We all have what to work on and goals for 2019. New beginnings. Yaron had Rabins number all day. Pulled flags well, picked the ball, threw TD passes. He beat Rabin by 2 or 3 TDs. Rabin moved the ball mostly with Zez throwing as his surrogate. Wasn’t enough. Beast was bringing pressure, forcing picks. Rabin through a P6 to @Wilmer at a really bad time. Dont want to take anything away from Yaron (who will tell u he had a bad game) but Rabins team was just not getting anything going unless Zez was throwing the ball. And he had two beauties (one to Jordan, one to Mighty) but too little too late. Jewball (is that 3?) to Yaron. Another convincing performance. The guy plays football well. So the ugliness was the whistles and penalties and arguments which slow the game down to a crawl. The insult was insulting but peace has since been made. The injury was to a young star of the league, @15166689629. No one wants to see that. A kid limping off the field. But I guess it all goes together. There are weeks like that. Where everything comes together in a bad way. Game is slow, Jewballers are arguing and being petty and mean, game is one sided, people get hurt. Weeks like that suck. And then you have to wait a whole week for redemption. BUT NOT THIS WEEK! Cuz we play tomorrow!

Recap – New Years Bowl 2019

Since it is a New Year, I’ll start with the positive. And it is extremely positive. We start the 2019 portion of the 2018-19 season with the full compliment of Bowl Games played along with the 13 regular season games and approximately 96 people already signed up for Week 14. We are all full engaged once again by this game, this League, the high of Jewball (notwithstanding the pre-game parking lot tokage), and @19735688666 is already talking about next season. And why not? There will be a next season, and a next, and a next. The game started in the last millennia and next year it roars into 2020. You know things are going well when I have Yoni “Marino” Paritsky checking in last night and asking when is Vets v. Rooks. And when BD asks to come back in the chat (💓 to get back on the field with that monster). So…we are doing very well. Then we have the Bowl Games, which are meant for fun really (we all want good games always, but the WEEK 1-20 games “count” and Bowl games…dont), and they were decent games today. Not great…and the reason is today wasn’t very good has to do with some things that are in our control and some that are not. For example, not in our control is wind. Very strong and distracting in Game 2. Fine. Injuries also suck and it’s been happening. People are hobbled and leaving games early. I don’t think that is in our control. Though…when you are pulling hammys etc…..has to do a lot with hydration. Drink water if u intend to be a long term football player. Another thing not in our control is my thinking @17182495260 was playing. Sorry bout that. That set the teams back and created controversy which leads me to something that is in our control and which has been disrupting the last few games and broken the flow to the point where people are leaving with a bad vibe. And it even leaks onto the chat and has the same affect. That’s arguing. We seem to be always arguing. I’m not gonna get in to each argument, but let’s stop. Trash talk…I get. Love that. But f#$king arguing…😩….its draining! Soul crushing! We all have stress in life. Many of us have kids and wives and that comes with some arguing. Jewball is the escape. It’s supposed to be about football. The challenge, the contest of imposing will, the strategizing, the physicality, the visceral brush with danger, and then of course the relaxing element or the social element. But it seems – only in recent weeks – to keep devolving into bi&*%ing and whining and complaining about rules and contact and calls and rules about calls and where is the line and homelessness and mothers and shoving things up a$$es and the rule about shoving things up a$$es and calls and arguments about all of the above. It’s annoying. Its not football. It defeats all the purposes of football. Again, I’m not getting into specifics, but easy rule of thumb…..play football. Play football. Play hard every play. That’s it. If someone does something to you that you thing is a penalty….tell him. “Watch that elbow.” “Careful on that block, homey.” Most of the time that does it. Can you make a call? Yes. If you make a call, should it be respected? Yes. But….play football as much as possible – hard, gritty football….and try not to have the game stop for any reason. And if it stops…..dont elongate the stop. Yes this is Jewball, but that doesn’t mean every call or question has to be a talmudic debate. Rule is try really really really hard to play clean. If someone does something unclean try really really really hard to educate them in a way that doesn’t stop the game or reverse a play. But if a call is made, try really really really hard to respect it. Hopefully this way of thinking will get us a more smooth and compelling second half.

So, the games today? Hard to talk about today without going into the many dropped passes. I know MK had one for the ages, but me, Mighty, and Zez also had our moments. Like all the above listed game-bumming elements, drops might be the worst. Deflates the whole experience. So….let’s stop that and may we all catch all our passes b’mihaira b’yamenu…amen. In Game 1, it was Yaron v. Zez and Zez’s team v. Zez. The final was 3-1. Was supposed to be Yaron and Gen 1 Jewballers, but I had phantom Kenny with us, which was Zada for a bit and the Eddie. Yaron used the old timers well, especially Rabin….more about that in a moment. Opening drive, Yaron outlets to Rabin at TE and gets his crew to midfield. Then he drops an over the shoulder dime on Jordan for quick 1-0 lead. Dont want to make Zez relive too much of that game….but his team had their chances. They did not execute. More Rabin and Yaron to move the ball and finally Yakir sneaks out the back and is open deep. Nother dime. Nother score. Ensuing possession it was some Klink and Rabin to get to the 40…and then an out to Rabin that Zada tried to knock down, but Rabin stayed with and no one was behind him. He ran with the speed of a camel! All the way to a 3-0 lead. Zez eventually scrambled a bit and found a way to score…he definitely did not deserve the L, but he gets it. That’s the way it goes. Jewball to…..Rabin….9 receptions for 165 yards and a score. I know he is quite stoppable, but he seemed unstoppable in 2019, so well done.

With Game 2 came the gale force winds, rattling the bleachers and light posts around us, cones flying everywhere. Eddie, Yakir, Eck, Kut (hurt 😞) left, replaced by Logan, Beast, Mighty, and Beck. New game, new life….but that wind. Early goings were shakey. Both teams going into the wind, could not get anything going for awhile. Balls wobbly and floating around. And same as Game 1….drops. Think only Logan had a 100% clean receiving day. Berger eventually found a way to drive the field, but the drive stalled….and now Yaron would have first crack at throwing with the wind…..and throw with the wind the did. Mighty darts out and Jordan follows. Pump….Jordan bites, but not too much, still keeping with the human pinball. Yaron rolls…rolls…and hes running! Now Jordan bites. Despite B-sh’s warning. And Beasts warning….we got him, cuz they do…Jordan bites. And Mighty releases…..and Yaron isn’t running. And he slings it…..Jordan recovers, but not enough and the footrace ends with Mighty in and Yaron up 1. No big deal….just 1. But as Berger is now throwing against the wind again….a few plays later a ball gets caught up and most up for grabs balls with Mighty at safety will be caught by that kid. “Give me the damn ball,” he commands the wind! And it does. Berger and Zezzy run a scheme that frees Zez in the right side of the endzone. 2-0 Yaron. No big deal. Just 2. Here is where it got kind of infuriating, but props to Berger and Black crew…we kept our heads. With an array of imaginative play calling….okay..fine…after screen after screen after screen to Jordan or Logan, we get to the 1! As in the 1 yard line. 2nd and 1. 2 plays later its 4th and 1. And Jordan drops a screen pass….turn over on downs. Yaron says…u screen, I slant. Slant to Mighty and dayummmm, kid rips off a 80 yard juke-fest that winds up in an open field footrace with Jordan. One juke later….its 3-0. But here is where it got interesting. Yaron Rainbow squad kept up the pressure and Berger was definitely under the gun, but plays started working. Mo over the middle. Zada big first down. Beast roll out. A bunch to Logan for big chunk of yards. For the life of me I cant remember how it happened, but with a half hour left it was 3-0, and with 15 minutes left it was 3-2. Defense had tightened, plus a few more drops from someone whose name rhymes with Gordie Shatz, and Berger had an opportunity to tie up the game and send the thing into overtime. And he had those shots! Zada deep, PJs wide open…..but…

.not meant to be. Yaron holds on and gets 2 Ws on the day, but no additional Jewballs. Mighty gets it. 2 scores and a pick that set up a 3rd. All on one good leg.

Wishing all those who are ailing, health. All those who are arguing, peace. All those who are dropping passes, hands. All those who have been signing up for Week 14 as a joke, maturity. All those who have been signing up for Week 14, not as a joke, intelligence. And…to all…

A Happy New Year and many more games in 2019! Now…..sign up for WEEK 14. LHS (right @15165327902?) 9:15-11:15.

Recap – Week 14 – 1/6/19

On another unseasonably mild winter day (we’ve been so lucky so far and looks like our luck has run out), there was even more to like about the state of Jewball. With Week 14 now in the books, we are nearly 3 quarters of the way through a very strong season. But the games played are half the story. The success of the season is in the details. Like the O line today. And I don’t mean Eckhaus proving a formidable adversary to B-sh’s rush. I mean the amount of Os we had showing up. Steveo, Daveo, and the Big O…all on one field! How long had it been! And how about the guests coming down?? First Yaron pulls up and takes in a few sets. That’s Jewball love! You can’t play but you just want a piece…I think we get that! Jewball FOMO is one of the most severe forms. And then Yaron pulls away…and another car pulls in. PJS! And he’s armed with a great eye, a steady hand and some HD recording skills. He captured (and captioned) some excellent plays giving us even more to appreciate about the season that keeps om giving. Cameras rolling and Jewball is rolling! Then we have the pace of game. Huddles were quick, calls were minimal, so…guess what? Arguments were limited and…..we played A LOT of football. And it was good. It was the way it should be. And how about that with our star QBa out, we are so deep at the position all of a sudden that Gronk and Zez give us an incredible game regardless. I didnt even get to Rabin yet. So, yes, Jewball is in a good spot right now. But make no mistake – a lively chat or extraneous shtick wont save Jewball. They make it more fun and interesting, but they dont move the needle.At the end of the day, the league will live or die by the quality of the football. Week 14 was a quality game. Best game in a while.

Gronk and Rainbow Squad take ball first and it felt like an opening round knockout. Gronk came out swinging and slinging. Slants and crosses and runs and the chains be moving. The game opens with a screen to Steveo and the kid is flying. A relentless steady drive had Zezzy’s Dark team’s head spinning. Was 1-0 in under 5 minutes of play. Quick 3 and out for Zez. And Rainbow begins another fluid and successful drive capped by Jordan’s first of 3 scores on the day. His second TD was a P6 just minutes later. For those of you keeping score, its 3-0 Gronk with 70 minutes to go (although Zez only has 40 left, take note). You start thinking about changing teams…but since Zez is a never say die kind of player and 3 is not an insurmountable lead..we battle on. But could Gronk extend the lead? With B-sh and Beast at the line for Dark, the pass rush was one of their strengths, but it wasn’t until Zez handed off the safety to Goldberg and became a 3rd rusher that Gronk started feeling the heat and the seamless ball movement stopped. Rainbow had their chances, including a bomb to Jordan that Daveo saved from a sure TD with a diving flag-pull, followed by a goal line stand by Dark. Meanwhile Zez was rallying. He ran when he needed to get tough first downs, but his recievers – who for the second time were doing him no favors – started making catches. And none were bigger than the one that got them on the board. A go and fade to Zada on the sideline of the endzone. Tap and grab, falling to his knees and the chipping away begins. But a 2 TD lead with an hour to go still has Rainbow feeling confident. They have weapons and O seems to be a one man flag pulling machine. But turnovers are your worst enemy and Wilmer picks right one right away and brings it back for a score. Now its 3-2. The defenses kept up their end of the bargain for a while and the score remained 3-2 with Zez having to leave 30 minute early. With about 15 minutes left before his departure, Jewball saw one of the most intense scoring back and forths in its history. It starts with Zez running one down the sideline and no one being able to stop that freight train…He is in and we are tied. A demoralized Rainbow team goes 3 and out. A non-demoralized Zez says…even though we haven’t hooked up the last 3 times I tried this, I really like the Goldberg and O matchup so I’m gonna try it again. Jump ball on a post route. O jumps, Goldberg jumps…2 giants leaping for the same ball, but 4th try is the charm….Goldberg comes down with it, Big O stumbles….and to the house Dark goes..they lead for the first time. And Zez has 10 minutes left to see it through. But Gronk has had enough of this. No more slants and crosses. We are going for the quick counterpunch. From his endzone he sends Jordan on a deep cross….and hits him on a 57 yard strike. Zada trails Jordan but doesnt catch up. We are tied. Zez, with 5 minutes to go leads a drive with a few to Tabak bobbing and weaving that is capped by a Tabak short pass and toss back to Zez. Jordan misses everyone’s flag…Dark up 5-4. Zez agrees to stay for one more set. And Gronk gets Vegh deep to move downfield and then a beautiful touch pass to Tom in the endzone for the 5-5 knot. Zez runs off the field a hero, having brought his team back from the brink, and immediately proceeds to strip naked by his car. He also reports that the car accident we heard during the game was a police chase!

30 minutes of ball to go. Jordan takes a seat with a barking calf as Zez leaves, and the fate of Dark is in the formerly shaky hands of Rabin. Would he spoil the comeback??? Safe money said he would. But…Quite the opposite! Opening drive an out to his TE Beast and Beastmode is off and running! 90 yards….all the way to a 6-5 edge. Gronk and Rainbow got nothing going in this “late” game and Rabin had everything going. Soon it was Zada making a really nice battle of position TD on a jump ball over Vegh. And then another deep ball to Zada which set up one final score to sink the dagger into Gronks Rainbow heart. A really great day of football and a competitive back and forth ends in kind of a one-sided victory with Rabin bringing a new energy to his team while Rainbow seemed to have lost its mojo early on. Dark over Rainbow 8-5.

Although I heard very good things about Beast at the line and he scored a TD, and even though Rabin sealed the W, have to give Jewball to Zez. Down 3-0, he singlehandedly at time brought his team all the way back and gave them the lead twice…kept his cool…played very determined and strong. Guy has some broad shoulders and he put his team on them and lead the way. Very impressive effort. Zez….here ya go. 🏈.

Make no mistake for Week 15. Its gonna be FREEZING COLD. Do not sign up and then #makeeggs Sunday morning. Only sign up if you can handle it. After this Sunday (1/13), we will have a two week break for vacation. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CANT PLAY OR ORGANIZE A GAME. JUST MEANS I’M NOT DOING IT. Week 16 and our final five games will resume in February, including our most anticipated Vets v. Rookies game in almost a decade. Well will do that Week 18.

Who wants some frigid WEEK 15 action?

Recap – Week 15 – 1/13/19

When is it okay to label something as the “greatest”? Or the most something or other? When is it okay to rate the quality of a performance or work of art? You might say only when that performance or work of art is complete. Fair assessment. I mean, how can anyone know where something ranks until it is done and the artist or performer takes a step back and drops the mic or brush. Or the clock winds to zero. At the same time, I take a look at this – my 17th Jewball season – on the eve of my 41st birthday – and I can’t help but want to label it, rate it, rank it….call it out for what it is. Praise it as gift from the Jewball G-ds. Maybe a final gift, I don’t know. How many special moments and fantastical coincidences need to coincide for one to call a miracle a miracle? We are three quarters of the way through our season and I know what this season is, what it has been, what it means, what it has meant….At the same time, it’s not over. So do I have to wait? Do I have to wait to say this has been, if not the Greatest Single Jewball Season Ever, it has been the second greatest.

Full season recap in a few months.

I tell you, yesterday’s game was a phenomenal game. A real battle, hard fought on both sides, gritty play, and down to the wire…and no one deserves more credit than Gronk for willing his team to the victory. Yet, yesterday will be remembered for the non-fight between Gronk and Eck. The joke on the field and the bigger joke in the chat. I’m not innocent either. I certainly was not rising above the fray. But…bottom line….such a shame that a great game and day of Jewball is going to be defined by some stupid nothing $&*@ that happened in the last 10 seconds of a 2 hour game and was carried over into a bitch-slap contest in the chat. So, shame on ALL of us who participated. Let’s strive to be cooler and classier (and, dare I say, a bit tougher) and – regardless – as we all know – none of this is personal (even the personal comments). I firmly believe that we are all trying to just make the game better and to “encourage” each other to become better players. I know that’s always my intention. If I call someone out, it’s just my obnoxious way of pushing them to make the play the next time.

And plays were made in WEEK 15. So many plays were made. Was a real shoot out. With Zada a bit late, Logan waited on the sideline for him (and…Logan waited on the sideline for everyone – guy is f’ing solid) and Dark begins with the ball, Gronk over center and his supporting cast of Vegh, Goldberg, Wilmer, Eddie, B-sh, Beast, and Logan (once Zada popped in). Rainbow, with Yaron, Jordan, Eck, Zada, Ari, Zez, BD, and Tom started in an ill-advised zone…and it was getting smoked. Probably because we don’t really know how to play zone. You could see Gronk’s face light up when we break into zone, like “this is gonna be easy.” So it was “same play, same play, same play.” And in short order, when Tabak and Goldberg converged in Yaron’s zone…he had to choose one of them (see, we don’t know how to play zone) and he chose Wilmer….Well….Goldberg simply went over the top and easy throw and catch (yuuuuge day for this guy)….Dark up 1-0. Yaron – ever the gunslinger – knows 1-0 is nada mas, so he drives his team to midfield and then calls Jordan’s number deep left through the equally weak zone on the other side. Jordan gets the step and is wide open deep left and the TD is assured, but Jordan drops a perfect pass….and Rainbow hangs their heads…for a second…wondering (as doesn’t it always happen) if this is going to be one of those days…And that belief became even more prominent, when, on the very next possession, Gronk with great field position, found Wilmer in the back of the endzone. 2-0 Dark in the first 20 minutes of the contest. But the cracks in Dark’s armor were beginning to show and Rainbow was making adjustments. One crack was Wilmer slowly succumbing to his nagging and lingering hamstring. What started as a less intense running style eventually became a firm position at line. And at the line, Jordan was added as a Gronk spy to plug up the QB run. Between those two changes, Dark’s scoring pace slowed….but it did not stop as we will see. However, as it slowed, this gave Yaron time to do his thing. Not giving up on Jordan, he sent him on a go route deep right and a BOMB was unleashed and just over the leaping effort of Logan, Jordan hauled it on the sideline and on the board Rainbow went, 2-1. Gronk gets to midfield and stalls (of course goes on 4th) so now Rainbow has an opportunity to tie and does so with a drive that was all Zez. Getting the first down on a hook at the marker. But that hook changed everything. A few plays later Zez makes a great move and catch just behind his defender and we celebrate the tying score! I can do one of two things at this stage in the Recap. I can acknowledge what actually happened. And that was Zez’s back tightened up, he volunteered to play line, tried that once or twice, and then it tightened up even more, and he could not walk. We escorted him to his car and he was in pain and practically immobile. So what to do? Do we write Zez’s post-mortem right here and now. Do we eulogize his career? Wax poetic in past tense about all he has contributed and accomplished? Do we get all emotional and say that if a Jewballer was created in a lab mixing all the elements of heart, skill, humor, love, power, drive, loyalty, toughness, and friendship that we believe makes us what we aspire to be as Jewballers….that creation would be a behemoth with a giant smile and scraggly beard in an Eagles ski cap who never gives up on any play in any game? Do we do that? HELLS NO! Zez, stop f$%&ing around….heal up…come back.

PJs got the bat signal mid-game to show up ready to play (and he sort of did that – #shabbos clothes). Dark rotated until Mo showed, and during that time, Yaron had a field day picking apart the zone Dark had assembled. Tom…points….Jordan points. Rainbow, from 2 down are now up 4-2. But Gronk started picking on BD a bit and moved the ball with Beast and when Mo arrived, Dark was able to go back to zone and between those two changes, Dark got back in the game and tied things up. We are at 4-4 with a half hour left. Yaron punches back with scores to Ari over the top and a screen to Jordan from the 5 on the next possession. 6-4 Rainbow with 20 minutes left on the clock. And then the wheels came off for Rainbow. Yaron started throwing picks (none bigger than the one to Vegh, which was a really nice play by him reaching out and plucking it from its path) and Goldberg started to become unstoppable. And when I say unstoppable, I mean like it didn’t make any sense. No matter how tight the coverage was, and it was tight (Yaron diving, Tom right there) Goldberg got his hands on the ball in the endzone. In a flash, a 6-4 lead, became a 7-6 deficit with no time left on the clock (all 3 scores by Goldberg – in addition to his initial score). Yaron and Rainbow was given a chance to tie, and the drive was moving nicely, until Gronk got his giant mitts on a ball to Jordan in the endzone and the game was over….except Gronk decided to run for fun….and…

All good. Like I said, nothing should take away from the hard-earned win of Dark. Gronk threw some CLUTCH passes (one was a brilliant 3rd and long to Goldberg in a big spot to keep a needed scoring drive alive). No doubt MVP this week for Dark was Goldberg. Jewball to you, sir. 4 scores, a pick, and some big catches in between to keep drives going.

TOP PLAYS: BD!!! Making catches, rumbling down field like a truck trying to get yards, running over people, stiff arming. Zez, and Beast, and BD on the same field…who runs with more violent intent than those guys?? Invigorating, inspiring, rejuvenating….all of that! BD!! To see you on the field again, brother!! I need that kinda stuff to keep me going at this age. And, it’s not just BD. It’s all of you. Jewballers…41….I know Eddie is older…but I can’t believe I’m turning 41 and still have the privilege to think about Jewball all week and get a game with you talented, beautiful people. What more can an old Jewballer want?? Thank you.

Let’s take a break from the “official games” for the next 2 weeks. Those who need healing, heal. Those who want to take a break from organizing games and writing recaps, take a break. We return 2/3 with Week 16. Mark 2/17 on your Calendars for Vets v. Rooks, which should be really good this year.

See you in a few.

Recap – Week 16 – 2/3/19

The magical season continued with some real magic. Monday-Saturday: polar vortex. We would play in the freezing cold with fingers that refuse to obey, of course, but who wants to. Then Sunday….as Jewball returns for Week 16, a glorious sun shiny day with temps approaching 45. We’ve said it many times but this time we mean it – PERFECT football weather. No wind. No hockey jerseys needed. And that field. It was all ours once again (except for the senior circuit Chabad walking-race going on during Game 2). And wait, it gets better. 2 games! And 2 stacked games with new talent in each, real flavor in each. Oh yeah, and it’s Superbowl Sunday. God bless Jewball and God Bless America!

To the games. The 815 featured another attempt to resurrect Rabin’s flailing career. As we all know, the Persian Pervert lost his starting spot as Jewball QB which he covetously held onto for the past decade. The terminable offense? Sucking for the past decade. Just kidding. It’s simply because he has always been woefully inconsistent and with the emergence of Gronk and Yaron as reliable signal callers….we simply didnt have a spot. Rabin is a Jewball ancient. He was there before every single one of us. That said, no man is above Jewball. Not me. Not Alan 🥛man. Not even Gronk (I know, Cronies, can u believe it?). So Rabin had to step down for the good of the league. But it worked out this past Sunday, with the double header and Gronk there to back him up, that we could sneak in… One. More. Start. And as he ALWAYS does over the years….he finds a way to keep his career going. Because once in a while, he is brilliant. And he takes you into the huddle, nose dripping, and makes you believe again. And that was Sunday.

Facing off against a formidable adversary in Yaron, the odds were not stacked in his favor, but Jordan always stacks the teams in his favor because football is still a QB driven game and the inferior QB should have the better weapons. So his weapons were Kut, Gronk, Jordan, Sam, Logan, and Ari. Now that is a hell of a team, we must admit. At Yaron’s disposal was Vegh, Dante, Tom, Goldberg, Eddie, and Rubin. Not exactly the bad news bears. With Yarons arm and playcalling…no reason this shouldn’t be a game. But for a long time it wasnt.

Everything Rabin did worked. Every single thing. First play is a TE roll out to Kut…..money pass and 80 yard hustle to paydirt. 1-0. Next drive ends in a battle between Gronk and Goldberg for a jump ball and Gronk wins a well contested battle. 2-0. Next drive Rabin caps off a drive by dropping a DIME on Jordan at the 2 and the rest is easy. 3-0. Meanwhile, nothing Yaron tried worked. The runs with a usually slippery Dante were getting bottled up. The slipperiness was not there. Passes were long, passed were short. Yaron and his playmakers were not finding a rhythm. With the exception of one. His name is Eddie (some like to call him Ari). He is over 50 years old. And he took us to school on Sunday. Not because he beat anyone individually (except maybe Sam 😜), but because he showed us all how to Jewball. Because you stay at it…and you keep going until God takes away your privilege to walk onto a field on Sunday mornings. Until then….you keep on it. And he keeps on it. And if there is a greater Jewball zechus than to play competitively with your son in the same game, I dont know what that is. And we’ve seen that twice already this year (Doggy and Eddie) B’ezrat Hashem by all of us. Amen.

So Yaron starting sending Eddie on go routes and by God they were working. I mean….maybe not a speedster, but Eddie can still GO. And catch. So he started scoring and allowing Yaron a glimmer of hope. But hope was about all Yaron would get. Because Rabin…though some picks were mixed in – natch – was relentless in his efficiency. Some of his best balls thrown weren’t even caught ( ✋). But there was another TD to Jordan. A beautiful P6 by Logan with a Wolverine-esque run back all over the field (Kut money block at the end) and Yaron really never got close. Rabin wins the game, resurrects his career, and earns a Jewball.

If Game 1 was a breeze, Game 2 was a hurricane. A contentious, loud, angry back and forth affair. Yaron v. Gronk, with Logan, Eddie, Ari, Kut, Dante, and Sam (who stayed to back up) leaving…some big boys joined the fray. BD, Ingber, Beast, Effie. And the speedy recieving corps added Steveo and Zada. Let’s get it on.

Gronk lined up with Ingber, BD, Steveo, Vegh, Goldberg, and Tom. Nice combo of speed and size. Yaron took over for Rabin, Wilmer, Effie, Beast, Jordan, and Zada.

We call a certain crew here the cronies, all in good fun…but compare the way Gronk uses Vegh and Goldberg to the way Yaron did in Game 1 and it’s night and day. Fact is, Gronk has a shorthand with his contemporaries and he is very effective in using them. He is like Tom Brady to these guys. He makes them into All Stars. And so it was. Zada starts on Goldberg, then Wilmer tries him, then Jordan, then back to Wilmer. Why? Because Goldberg was scoring on all of them. He had 3 in Game 2…and seems to have a hat trick every time Gronk is under center for him. But it wasnt all Goldberg. Tom and Vegh scored early as well. Gronk was up 2-0 early and 3-1 half way through the game. And then Yaron woke up. And he and Jordan started to develop a special seamless chemistry. Gronk’s ability to run was bottled up and stops were being forced. And Yaron and Jordan were scoring at will. Fake reverse, over the top, screen. Add in a stunning out route catch and throw to Wilmer in the endzone and Yaron takes the improbable lead 4-3 late in the game. The momentum seemed to be shifting with the comeback. Around this time, Ingber, who comes to us with a formidable football resume starts to show what he is capable of. After a really passionate peptalk from BD (😳) and smack talk from Beast (🙄) he rattled off a series of sacks that created turnovers and Gronk was given a few shots to get back in the game. Shame that Ingber didn’t take all the snaps (and thanks to Sam for being there). This is when Goldberg and Gronk continued their tear. Tying the game and then taking the lead 5-4. But Yaron went to Jordan again. Faking a run to pull in the defender and the safety and launched one downfield. Knotted again. With the score eventually going to 6-4 and Yaron with the ball and no time on the clock…it was ruled one more score ices things. And Rabin peeled off TE to empty space….Yaron puts it on him. Easy grab and easy score. A 7-4 win for Yaron over Gronk. For the 4 scores, Jordan awards a Jeball to himself.

TOP PLAYS: BD losing his shit. Something about how he doesn’t let up sacks. Then he sets Jewball record for batting down passes. Was uncanny. Basically anything that happened at line in Game 2 was a spectacle. Rubin’s jersey which was almost as meter maid a look as what Berger wore on Christmas. Steveo kicking it into hyperdrive and Jordan trying to grab his arm to slow him down. Oren showing up like an agent (either sports or Mossad).

Week 17 sign up is ongoing. A couple of spots left.

Recap – Week 17 – 2/10/19

Feel like this Recap is destined to have a rebuttal, so I will keep it as neutral as possible.

Cold morning, but no wind and sun shining. The kind of game where you don’t feel the weather 5 minutes into the game. We had 7s and pretty much started on time. Gronk took ball first and lined up with Kut, Sam, Beast Jordan, PJs and Zada. Opening drive was productive with QB runs, incompletions, and receptions by Jordan, but it stalled on the 5. Press, a converted QB (so give him a break) was in from Philly and took snaps for Goldberg, BD, MK, Dante (I know spelled wrong, but send me right spelling….seen it a few ways), Tom, and Ari. Each team had their share of bullying presences and for a while the game was all about who could bully the other more. Who could run through more people, break tackles, stuff things up, terrorize the QB. And Press and co were winning that battle. After an early exchange of scoring 1-1, Press found a winning formula: dump it to someone who would take advantage of poor tackling/wrapping up/flag pulling. So Katz broke off a long run capped by an Ari catch and bulldozer run TD (there goes my thumb). Dante had a monster day, at one point running 95 yards on 3rd and forever for a score. Press took one in himself on one of the few times he ran (and Press not running might be number 1 culprit of his team’s eventual demise). But bottom line, Press was up 5-2 with a half hour left in the game. That is a commanding lead and….a no excuses to lose lead. But here comes the HEART of Gronk and his men in black (except those who wore dark blue or blue or green or whatever they wanted). Yes, there was some tension….Gronk doesn’t call a play and when he does he makes sure both teams can hear it…and if they cant he repeats it until they do, and repeats it over and over as he is lining up (I presume the other team just thinks he must be lying – he’s not), Sam was getting victimized by Tom and caught in ugly situations, PJs was being called out for a drop or 2, Kut was getting called out for freezing on offense, Beast was almost getting a lot of sacks, Jordan and Zada were….who am I kidding….those guys made some plays, but Jordan sustained two injuries (thumb and ankle) that had him barely holding it together until the drive home. So the team was fraying at the seams, BUT with that half hour left and down 3….they did not quit. None of them. And one should never quit! Hate when people say Jewball is for “fun” and league is “competitive.” First of all, that’s silly. Both games should be fun and competitive. But Jewball is also supposed to be about family, commitment, loyalty, and overcoming obstacles. The kind of stuff you take from the field and apply to all elements of life. And sometimes you get a game that teaches you something. About teamwork and about yourself. If you aren’t feeling me on this, I’m sorry for you. You are missing a big piece of why we play a sport for no pay, no glory, and at great risk.

Gronk didn’t quit and he started making a ton of plays with his legs and arm. He also picked a ball in the endzone. Zada didn’t quit and he made two P6s and put up 4 scores. Jordan didn’t quit even when hobbled and helped Gronk move the chains. Beast never quits and he kept Press under pressure. PJs didnt quit and he scored the game tying TD. Kut didn’t quit and he sacked Press relentlessly and batted down passes. Sam didnt quit and he stuck with a tough assignment in Tom and made a crucial defensive stop. And after all this non quitting, the result was an improbable 6-5 win for Gronk and his team. They did not quit on the game or each other.and I’m proud to have been a part of it. Jewball to Zada for some gaudy numbers which reflect only a part of his value yesteday. He did the big things and the little things.

Let me know about WEEK 18 and PREZ BOWL. Like this: “IN for W18 and PB” or “IN for PB, OUT for W18” etc. Dont just say IN.

Recap – Week 17 – 2/17/19

I’ll recap now to get it over with. Nice enough day. Cold and sun to start, eventually warming up nicely. Unfortunately, Rabins squad did not warm up. One of those games. A lot of almost a and P6s. Opening drive was a P6 and although Rabin and Dark cut it to 3-2, they missed many opportunities. Ingber kept us in the game with a bunch of sacks, but ball was not moving enough. We called it at 6-2. Gronk wins. Jewball to Diante. No one knows how to stop him in the open field. Cool to watch.

Recap Week 18 – 2/24/19

Yaron scored on first 2 drives (both on Rabin) and Rabin was driving us but we couldn’t score (and, yes drops in endzone). Then Rabin put up 4 in a row (Think Kut, Jordan, Tom, Jordan). During that stretch, Munch and Kut were just torturing Yaron and our defense was spot on. Yaron did come back to tie it up. And with game clocked out we had it at if Rabin scores over… and we got big yards from Tom and then Diante picked up a 1st and then Rabin to Jordan game winner.

Not going to recap the game because you know what happened. Rabin beats Yaron and Munch gets the Jewball because he changes a game like no other single player. My biggest regret is now the Rooks know about our secret weapon on 3/10. Love the way the game came together yesterday. Love that those who backed out missed a perfect day for football. Love that those who stuck IN and had faith were rewarded with a rock solid contest (and you cant get these Sundays back….). Was sad to see PJs have such a rough game and punishing himself. He loves the game and loves our Jewball family. Sad to see. I spoke to him yesterday. So did Rabin. I’m sure he will be back. Was nice to get new blood in the game. Thank you @19176266051 and @15164680677 for getting gamers to take vacated spots. The magical season continued because we seem to be able to survive anything. Beast jumping out the window to get to our game is the sweetest scene I could imagine. Always next man up. Great to get Munch in. To reflect on this season and it almost being over is going to be painful. It’s been such a blessing. But all good things come to an end (until next season). We wind down next week with WEEK 20 followed by a post season Vets Rooks game (include everyone u can @15165240526) and how about this…we can have a Pro Bowl in March as well. As voted on by the chat. Top 14 players go head to head. Cool? Cool!

Recap – VETS vs. ROOKS – 3/3/19

In Jewball, we have few institutions – and judging from last Sunday, we are still working on the rulebook kinks (slowly but surely). If we do have an institutional game, it is Vets Rooks. A game that started being a part of our schedule over ten years ago – it was part of a natural evolution as the first class of players got older and we wanted to challenge ourselves against the new guys. Surely the first Vets Rooks had every player competing in their 20s. I do recall when we eventually had a few guys advancing above 30 so we played 20s v. 30s. And the other day we played a Vets Rooks game where the Vets were in their 20s,30s, and 40s and the Rooks were newly minted Jewballers of the magical season. The Vets were guys who once played as Rooks. I remember those games. I remember Zez and Mighty showing up for the first time and revolutionizing the game. They were ballers. But I also remember Steveo quietly coming down as a lighting fast teenager (maybe 20) with long hair and like skater sneakers. Quiet but fire in his eyes. Kut showed up some time after that with a bunch of guys who were decent but clearly not in it for the long haul. He showed promise, but would he stick? That era – where we picked up Tom as well, was not Jewball at its most attractive. Games weren’t that often or that hot. It was actually a merging of another dying game. And most guys drifted away. Tom and Kut stuck. And it takes both heart and vision to see the beauty of Jewball when it doesn’t have its makeup on. Kut and Tom are self made all around football players. They are what you get when you have raw talent and you just commit to the craft. I also remember my cousin saying he wanted to play with us and him coming down for the first time. I didn’t know what to expect because I never really saw him as my contemporary. He is like 7 years younger than me. But there he was diving all over the place and making a name for himself in our world. And now he is a Vet. I remember the game we played in Bayswater a million years ago when a super skinny player named Meir brought his even skinnier little brother Menachem down. They were both in high school. Menachem’s ski hat kept slipping over his eyes. And now he is an unstoppable force of a Vet named Munch. I can’t say I remember Rabin coming down for the first time. When I got there….Queens 2001 there he was. There were guys – our age – far more into it than we were, certainly more talented. No one would have pegged us for the last men standing. I remember Evan coming down to HW Middle before they turfed it. We knew he had a Queens game too. He was sort of a Veteran even then. Played with an intensity and love of the game that made us step our intensity and love. All these people being woven into the Jewball tapestry at various times in our lives, in their lives, and unlike many many other – sticking to it. Being a Vet means you committed to the Jewball family and you are still standing after many years, present and accounted for. You did not wander off, or get distracted, or start permanently making eggs, or prioritize something else, or give up, or sell out – but you stuck with something important. We all have excuses in life to stop Jewballing, but….Vets don’t make excuses…they Jewball. So, before we get to the game – to all my Vets – those who made it and those who could not – I salute and I bless you with many more games. To this year’s OUTSTANDING Rookie class….you have your work cut out for you. I look forward to one day playing alongside you in Vets Rooks (Gronk, I promise by then I’ll quietly play dead line) where we can attempt to beat down a bunch of obnoxious new kids and cronies.

What can we say about Vets Rooks 2019? The good: It was contentious and competitive. There was a different feel than other games. Felt like more on the line. The bad: We didn’t play our best football. With the exception of a few guys who had very successful days, most guys are better than they showed. The ugly: pretty much everything Jordan did.

We arrived around 8 to find a snow covered field, but it was soft and thin and melting throughout the game. It wasn’t cold. It was a good day for football. Yaron was setting up. Jordan was trying to fight the right hash. Game started a little late.

Vets took ball first with an offensive look of Zez at QB with Munch and Kut protecting him (Tom rotating in at TE) and WRs Evan, Mighty, Jordan, and Rabin. Zez had the armband with plays and was calling them out. Whatever it was – and probably was nerves which happen when a game feels big – the Vets were struggling to move the ball against Rookie zone coverage. The Vets were pecking instead of going full out. So after going for it on 4th and short and getting stopped, the Rookies took the ball and had a short field to work with. And they found some holes in the Vet zone and scored when Tom went for deflection but just barely missed it, leaving Gronk to catch run and score. Rooks up 1-0. Finally, with the Rooks still up 1 and about 25 minutes into regulation, Zez huddled up the Vets and called a deep route to Mighty. And it was 2010 again. Zez unloads an nuclear bomb of a pass down the left sideline and Mighty just keeps going. With man coverage on him step for step, Mighty makes the catch and seems to breathe life back into the Vets who needed something to get going.

Then Jordan happened. One of the Vets who goes back the furthest, had two consecutive lapses in focus and judgment, both resulting in Gronk picks. The first was instead of catching a ball, he tipped it up into Gronk’s arms….and the second one…he just lateralled it back to Gronk. Luckily, only one of those miscues wound up in a score. Because minutes after the second miscue, Kut gets a hand on a Yaron pass at the 20 and the ball is intercepted by Jordan. The result is a drive and falling over Steveo catch who gets up and runs one in for the Vets! 2-2.

Rooks then went on a little bit of a run, putting up 2 scores, one of them the controversial TD that shall not be named where, on 4th and Goal from the 3, Yaron zipped one in to Goldberg whose feet were in the endzone on the catch, but most of his arms were outside the plane and that is where the ball wound up after he was down. But….per existing Jewball rules (which are now changed to match EVERY OTHER LEAGUE IN THE HISTORY OF EVERY OTHER SPORT AND EVERY BODY KNOWS IT!!!) it was TD. Rooks were having their way a bit and the Vets were still not coming together properly.

Munch then took over the huddle a little but with Zez’s decision to start running the ball more. The result was backs a crackin and a Mighty 60 yard run to put the Vets in scoring position. And it was Steveo again to the rescue – this time not falling, but making a sweet over the shoulder grab and skittering into the endzone to bring the Vets back within 1. 4-3 Rooks.

The celebration for the Vets would not last. Evan and Jordan get confused on crossing route and the coverage is blown…Tabak easy score. 5-3 Rooks. After that, the Vets went man the rest of the way, bringing in Steveo and having Mighty cover Gronk. And guess what? Rooks didn’t score again. Evan and Mighty made some great defensive plays knocking away sure TDs and kept the Rooks off the board. Meanwhile, Zez kept his composure and no one is more never say die than that guy – with the clock winding down, he orchestrates two consecutive scoring drives punctuated by Munch TE roll out TDs! Game tied 5-5 with no time on the clock.

Rooks get a chance to score and win. Only if Vets get a pick can the game be extended…..and 2 plays later….Evan flies in to the jump the route and picks it! Runs it back to the 15 and the Vets are alive….can maybe win this damn thing!!! Things look bleak after a sack drives Zezy back to the 30 and its 4th and goal. A hail marry bomb in Jordan’s direction is the Vet’s last hope. Of course Jordan continues his ineptitude for the day and decides to touch the ball instead of catching it. Game ends in a tie….NO! Steveo was there to cradle it after the contact by Jordan, just behind a converging Gronk and Goldberg! The VETS WIN IT! Jewball to Steveo for the 3 scores!!!

Recap – Week 20 – END OF SEASON RECAP – 3/17/19

Jewballers,

We played Week 20 last week. Week 20. That’s 20 full weeks of official Jewball (some of them doubleheaders). That does not include Vets/Rooks, 3 Bowl Games, and Pre-Season. This does not need to be a PR job by me, pumping this season up. My instinct in the past has always been to make the season seem more epic than it was. Why? Because when it’s going well, we are all high on Jewball. And when it’s not going well….I think maybe my words can play defibrillator and shock the Jewball heart back to life. And, really, what was the status of the Jewball heart at the beginning of this 2018-19 campaign? Really, what were we? Where were we? If you asked me…I would have thought we were a thing of the past. A beautiful thing, a powerful thing, a critical thing….but something to look back on, to reminisce about, to speak of as if a myth or legend of a once upon a time. And – don’t get me wrong -there is value to that. That’s where my head was. I was over 40. Selfishly speaking, Jewball gave me everything I could have asked of it. Almost 20 years of memories – you can’t imagine the games in my head, the moments, the sweetest victories, the painful defeats – in all weather – on a dozen fields….but…oh, forgetting all that – the people! The Jewballers! I mean, these guys – how is it that you spend a few hours a week, a few months a year, with people you have no other connection to and they become this surrogate family that absolutely no one else on the planet can possibly understand? Our spouses, significant others, siblings, co-workers, parents, kids, etc…..they know we play “football” on Sunday mornings…or something…that we “have to play” even when the weather is bad. That we’re “crazy” or “nuts” or whatever else they call it when we go out in freezing temperatures, bundled up, seemingly against our will and better judgment. How we get so badly hurt and make sacrifices, take real risks….and come back! Maybe they even understand that it’s something more than football to us. But there is no possible way they get the depth of it. Just no way. We may not even fully grasp how deep it goes. What we do know, is that our fellow Jewballers get it. And when I say our fellow Jewballers, I mean those who you have played with and those who retired ten years before you played your first game. And I hope that is what our Jewball Honors BBQ will be about this summer. A gathering of 100+ people who get it. Who understand that we are doing more out there than running routes and cursing our QBs (and if you are a QB, cursing the line – and if you are a lineman, cursing everyone). We understand that there is MAGIC out there. If I HAD to describe the magic…it has something to do with an internal conflict being played out in a team setting combined with recapturing childhood along with a heavy dose of the brotherhood of soldiers. So I had much to appreciate being part of something like that for so long. But, I saw it ending and I made peace with that. What else could I do? It was a good run, but we couldn’t get more than 10 games together each season over the past 4 or 5 years. And while Jewballers are extremely loyal and dedicated and their appreciation for the game is unquestionable, they are never expected to play bad football. I am confident that no league can compete with us in terms of comradery, but Jewball suffered because the football had gotten low quality. We always had a star QB to keep the games interesting and competitive. We broke in with Jay Sky K and that took us through the Queens year…and when we got to the 5T we had a bunch of years with Yoni, Yirmi, Doggy, and a mix of one and dones. But once Yoni retired and the Sunday morning Leagues started….it was hard to reasonably argue that a player should keep coming out. The games were pretty bad (and inconstant). And I have said this many times….Jewball only works when the games are good. I don’t want to run some league based on nostalgia and blind loyalty. And we didn’t have the talent to put a good game on the field. So guys left – played in the league – and it decimated us. I actually retired. Daveo took over (and God bless him for still believing when I lost hope), but he found little success in rallying the troops. In a full surrender move, we actually joined the League last year and had a good time. It’s good football! It’s not Jewball! But…if there was no Jewball, it’s far better than nothing. Feeling bad, I gave it one more try last year after the League ended…for the guys who need Jewball (I’m looking at you, Rabin) and….might as well – it’s been such a long run…should it really end on my watch? But, it was a half-hearted try….because…we needed a miracle.

And a miracle happened.

The miracle was my good fortune of having guys like Jeremy “Wilmer” Tabak and Jake “Snake” Skolnick being neighbors…and they catching me after shul one day and telling me about two years ago that they are ready to join up. I probably said okay, feeling like….yikes, this is going to be embarrassing…cuz we don’t really have a game. But somehow, with their joining and bringing some new guys (YOUNG TALENT – this is what it is all about….YOUNG TALENT)…there was a feel at the end of last year….like…do we have something here? It was hard to miss the steady rhythmic beat flowing underneath those game. Is that a pulse?

To be honest, this past season – which if Jewball lives another two decades, it will trace back to what we just did – signaled itself early on. If you recall, our first pre-season game featured a QB I’d been dreaming of playing Jewball forever – Adam Ofman. Shuey Ofman played as well. (Can these guys please become regulars so we can next level the hell out of this thing!) It was a special start, but did I think we would make through Week 20? Of course not! Thought it was just a cool treat. There was absolutely no reason to think that we would make it past fall! We hadn’t done it in years. So, let me first and foremost give credit to the next generation who kept us going. That would be the band who we call Gronk and the Cronies. Gronk, Wilmer, Goldberg, Vegh….listen, I know you are each individuals and –trust me – in my mind you are compartmentalized and each bring unique skill-sets and personalities to the table. You are football players, gamers, committed, loyal, smart, all that good stuff….but collectively…. on behalf of those playing now and who played before – I say thank you. I don’t know what I did to deserve a second chance like this, but – make no mistake – I recognize that we are an old game and it’s not the most obvious choice for you guys. And you gave us a chance…and in doing so, I think you found a place among us and you have begun to create your own Jewball legacies. Young Talent gives us a better game, legitimacy in recruiting new players, and…most importantly….a future. Thank you.

All that said, and even though Gronk proved to be a very competitive and capable QB, we needed a star QB (and, btw, Gronk got better and better – he may be a star QB by now – and imagine what he will be in 5 years). But how could we ask for more miracles? Didn’t we use them up in just having a quarter of the season complete without a problem (other than Tammy hating Wilmer and trying to toss him from NW Park). Then my cuz, the big O (who is in the Daveo Hall of Fame of having the most passion for Jewball while hardly playing because they are ALWAYS WORKING!) says…there is this guy Yaron….

…And the rest is history. Forgetting everything else that Yaron will be doing for us very soon (announcement to follow this recap if it ever ends). Yaron, you are a Rookie so I’m not going to put you on the Jewball QB Mount Rushmore just yet, but right now we have Katzenstein and Paritzky chiseled in. I fully expect you to join them. They are there not just because of talent. We have had talent. There is talent and there is being plugged in as a starter game in and out for years and years and years. No pressure, but we need that from you. You have a gifted arm, you have a ginormous brain, you have the heart of lion, and I think you “got” Jewball quicker than anyone I have ever seen. That told me something. We have been waiting a long time for you. I can’t go through everyone, but…the guys you brought down….my God….obviously Beast is the standout in terms of character, with Zada and then Prime Time right behind him….I have so much love and appreciation for that crew. Again, just felt right and meant to be off the bat. The passion. The purity of play. The sense of humor mixed with that deadly serious gamer mentality. It’s what we are all about. And, in general – our Rookie class has been spectacular. Trust me, I wish I could speak about everyone…but I think most people stopped reading already.

Yaron, you are our MVP this season. That may surprise you (and others). You lost a few games at the end there. Certainly didn’t play as many as others. And Gronk is equally deserving for what he brought to the table this year (Gronk, no joke – you may be the villain of the league – but you elevate the quality of our games….and, as a PR man myself, one cannot underestimate the value of a really good villain – thank you for everything you brought to Jewball this past year). Yaron, it’s you because of the tangibles and the intangibles. Never before have I really had a partner in making these games happen. Never. Certainly not like this. I show up to the field…and you are out there setting up!? Never before. I need guys last minute and you got it covered?! Never before. And what we are about to reveal! Add to that a temperament that pulls it all together. So, there you are – Yaron – you are our 2018-19 MVP of Jebwall. The Most Valuable Player of our Most Magical Season.

So, why do I call it magical?

It’s not just because we got the full slate of games. It’s not because we got young. Not because we found a star QB. I mean, yes, it’s all of those things….but they alone would not be magic. Magic is something else – it’s something difficult to put your finger on. And you certainly can’t make it happen. It happens on its own. It’s a subjective feeling that those who were part of this past season recognize. It’s my precious precious Vets coming back as if out of nowhere and giving us what they got left (Love you, guys) – Doggy playing with his son, Klink, BD, Yakir, PJs, Mandel, Evan….I mean…each of these people coming back – it happened based on unique occurrences in their own lives….but all to happen in the same season…that’s magic! We just finished Purim, so don’t tell me I’m wrong when I see miracles in the natural order.

Magic is Eddie in his 50s and Ari in his 20s joining our game. That alone would break my heart (in a good way), but that storyline gets lost in so much more grand spectacle. It’s Effie’s TD last week. It’s Rabin resurrecting his career AGAIN!! It’s Steveo leading the Vets to defeat the Rookies. It’s the mud bowl that required the Town of Hempstead to rent special machinery to fix the field. It’s us showing up 3 weeks later to still play in NW Park after blaming someone else for the mess. It’s Zezzy retiring from Jewball and going out on top on his way to Israel. It’s the double headers. It’s somehow having LHS open for us. It’s a thousand little things that interconnect.

Magic is also the guys who never left – Kut, B-sh, Mighty, Tom, Rabin…a bunch more….keep it going, boys.

Beast, do you really expect me to Recap Week 20 at this point – Okay, Beast and MK QBed against Yaron and Beast kept his team in the game for a while with a few TD throws (a beauty to MK!) and a lot of stiff arming, but eventually the pass rush was too much for him and Yaron kept scoring. Think Yaron won by 3.

I leave you with this, Jewballers: The offseason has many temptations and distractions – many of which can get in the way of you being your best Jewball-self come next September when a very promising season kicks off. Stay healthy. Heal up if you need it. Work out! Eat smart! Jewball is there for those who have the will to TAKE it. But it requires work! Whatever you were this season, plan on being better! More speed! Better hands! Become the weapon you were born to be. Because our faint pulse from a year ago is now a POUNDING DRUM of a heartbeat! There is magic to come! We are living in the time of Jewball miracles and I put nothing past us! LONG LIVE JEWBALL!

2019-2020 SEASON RECAPS

10/27/19

Week 1

Courtesy of Kuti

The game that almost was

The golden season was set to begin. Months of anticipation, weeks of preseason and countless gifs and memes lead to this moment. “Week 1! Who wants some?” Were the words we were all waiting to hear from Commissioner Jordan. Like birds to seeds, the “Ins” started streaming in, but wait, false start! Sign up will begin Wednesday morning, not Tuesday night, as originally planned. (Much to the delight of those on the West Coast) Rise and Shine pretty boys! The official count has begun, 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 14….Games full, in only a matter of minutes. Perhaps a double game? was the request. 15, 17, 20….Could it be possible?! Is this Jewball? Maybe it really is the Golden Season. The commissioner throws out a Hail Mary…Should we go Tourney? Maybe, if we can get 4 more and have at least 4 decent QB’s. Apparently, Eddie’s got another son who knows how to throw. Count is locked at 24. 6v6 tournament is official, teams to come Friday.

With bated breath we waited like sheep at the petting zoo. Teams are announced, each one stacked more than the next. Getting 24 guys out on the field is a miracle in and of itself, but the quality and talent that signed up was even more impressive! On paper, it looked like Cleveland going up against New England (Before the season started …what a disaster) The hype was real, the teams were real, Quality Jewball was back in session.

Rumor has it that Beast was in the gym 24 hours straight, fri night-sat night. (Rumor also has it that he bathes in his pink juice every sat night bef game day.)

But wait….Game 1 was too good to be true, we had the numbers, we had the talent, we had the field, only thing we couldn’t control was the weather. Forecast was calling for early light showers and heavy storms at game time. But the call wouldn’t be made until Sunday morning. It was a fitful night for those 24 Jewballers, much like Davy Crocket the night before the Alamo.

The Sunday sun rose and with it rain clouds, not heavy, but looming darkness. 7:30am…Maybe….7:45..not looking good….8am…Game is canceled. We’re not sure if it was the heavens opening up or Yaron’s tears hitting the ground but with a mighty fury the rains came rushing down.

It appears that the tournament is not gonna happen, but…. The rain isn’t too bad, if we can get 14 guys to come, we can still have a game. For a few moments, the sun came out and there was a chance, but that was short lived, like the Dothrake charging through Castile Rock, within moments it was clear that a game just wasn’t going to happen. It was a nice effort and promising potential for what the season has to offer. Looking forward to next week.

Unless…..

Anyone up for a night game? Never in the 73-year history of Jewball, was a game ever played at night. But hey, this is the golden season, anything is possible.

We have a field, we have lights, do we have the numbers? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8…9, 10, 11, 12!! Wait…. 2 are out…. We have 10, for an 8:30 PM!! Game. Can we get 4 more? 75 guys on the chat…just.need.4. it’s like the Giants comeback against the Lions, could it be possible?

Not looking promising, but don’t give up hope yet. Guys are heading to the field, maybe we can recruit a few there. Just need a few more.

8:45PM, much like week 1, the lights have been turned off.

But hey, we can put this in the “Almost Game” stat column. (Right Beast?)

11/3/19

Week 1 Redo

“Great football weather this Sunday morning.”

–Allan “The Oracle” Milchman

If there is ever a Week where competitive play matters the least, it is Week 1. Not that competitive games are ever unimportant. They are always the most important, but unlike every other Week of Jewball, Week 1 might just be about something else (and lucky for us since the games were not close).

Week 1 is about renewal. Week 1 is about reunions. It is about clean slates, untapped potential, untold stories, unfulfilled destinies. It is about optimism. Where anything is possible. Where a kid named Brody and a kid named Pants, who we never heard of before, can grab the first two Jewballs. Where Mo, playing in his first game, now leads the league in scores. Where these three players become an integral and unalterable part of our story. A story which goes back to the early to mid 90s. Where rookies find their way amongst veterans and by the end of the game it feels like they have been here forever. Where the family grows – long live the Jewball family.

And we had plenty of that growth in Week 1. The perfect mix of youth, age, new faces, and incredible comebacks. Me, B-sh, and Rabin coming out for our 17th or 18th opening day together….and then old school vets like Meir, Munch, O, PJs, Singer and Mighty in the mix. New school Vets like Kut, Tom, and MK. Juniors, Sophomores, and Freshmen. 28 in all. 28! Has to be a record. All the generations blending for the game we call Jewball. As it should be. Here is to many more Week 1s!

As foretold by The Oracle, the weather Sunday was great. Sunshine and low 50s. Hardly any wind. LHS turf was open for the taking.

(We now go to the words of our Jewball poet laureate – Kut):

After the hype, anticipation and ultimate letdown of opening day, guys were itching to get out and play. Not wanting to tempt the football gods, Commissioner Jordan decided to forego any talk of a tournament and just allowed guys to sign up for the early or the late game. (Not Both, Ademar) Within 15 minutes, the 8am game was closed out. Took about 3 days for the 9:45 game to fill up. (what used to be a lazy man’s game with a late start has turned into early risers greeting the day.)
The teams looked decently matched on paper. Getting on the field it appeared as if one team was slightly more stacked than the other. Imagine lining up against Munch, O and Meir (Stein, not singer) they are big, fast and quite skilled. Kind of like Arya going against the Whitewalkers (Rooks should remember them from last year’s game, the one where Vets won!) I would love to tell you that they combined for 6 sacks, I’d love to tell you that they forced countless interceptions, I’d even like to tell you that they gave their QB plenty of time to throw many TD’s. Sadly, this was not the case. However, that was the case for the surprisingly dominant opposing line consisting of MK, Sam and Kut. Individually they may not have been as tough, skilled or dominant, but as a team, they were a force to be reckoned with.
The game started with Rabin throwing for Dark. Quick interception and Colors go up by 1. Rabin takes it again, nice running play behind the big 3 for 25 yards. Pressure coming in, throw is out and …..Interception number 2. Yaron, throwing for Colors takes over and quickly turns in another score. Rabin takes over again, not feeling too confident, and……3 and out, passing game is just not there and the D-line is creating heavy pressure. Yaron gets the ball again, feeling pressure on a 3rd and long, he throws one up and the wrong team comes down with it. (Will it be one those games?) Gronk takes over at QB, things are looking good, until they’re not. Interception #4 for the day. Yaron gets the ball back and throws a beauty of a pass way down field to Brody. TD! Dark gets the ball, new QB, one of the legends has returned, Meir Stein, hell of an arm and lots of passion. (Called pass interference is still under review) Couple of complete passes, ball moving down the field, things are looking up. 3rd and 2, no where to throw, Meir starts running to his left, about to pass the line and Kut, chasing from behind dives and grabs the flag for a sack and turnover on downs. (if I’m writing the recap, I can put myself in it) Yaron gets the ball again and launches a rocket downfield, jump ball to Singer who easily handles the catch and gets the TD. Game didn’t change much at that point, more turnovers for Dark, including a pick by Asa, more TD’s for Color. Gronk takes over QB, again and manages to put together a very nice drive, capped off with a TD pass to Vegh, finally Dark is on the scoreboard. Icing on the game was Mighty catching a quick pass and flying past the depleted and tired defense (Hi Goldberg, wanted to get you in the recap,) to run in another TD.
Final score of the game 7-1. Jewball goes to Brody for 2 picks and 2 TD’s.
Decent game, should’ve been better.
Shout out to Rabin who showed up to the game even though he was hosting an RCCS breakfast at 9:30. Good to see a lot of faces out there on the field, looking forward to many more.
(Back to Jordan)

Watching Game 1 come to a close was semi-depressing. If it wasn’t Week 1 and the high that goes along with it, it would have been very depressing. The losing team, lead by Rabin and Meir and Gronk was down by 6 scores and listless. After an exciting drive by Gronk (which should have been the type of game played by Dark all day) Mighty scores a late cheap one (and for those watching stats, it sucked to see!) and the Game 1 folks traipsed off the field.
The hope was that Game 2 would have more bite. And, with such a low bar, it did.
It was the reigning MVP Yaron against the 16 (SIXTEEN!) year old upstart Davy Pants, progeny of Eddie, brother of Ari. It takes a lot of guts to step into the ring with grown men and I give Pants all the credit in the world. But there is no way he could beat Yaron, who had just won 7-1 in the previous game. How could he outsling the gunslinger? But that’s why you play the game.

Pants starts his Jewball career with a 3 and out and Yaron and Colors take over, but not before a truly sad and scary moment as John goes down with a knee injury. Really tough to see. The guy is fire and explosive talent. If we all brought it like John, Jewball would be its best self. So…we wish him a speedy recovery. The 7 on 7 became a 6 on 6 with Colors rotating. Dark goes zone and it proves a tad porous. A methodical drive ends up with a Sam TD and Colors takes a 1-0 lead.
From the 5, Pants calls a reverse – Jordan to Mo. We like the gutsy call. And wouldn’t u know it….Mo breaks free…makes his way through the line, then the secondary, and then it’s a footrace. And Mo is some athlete. Tall (at least for Jewball ) and fast. Game is tied at 1s. And the Dark defense starts to lock it down, with honorable mention of MK and stellar flag pulling over the middle. Pick 6 by Pants. 90 yard screen and run to Jordan for a score. MK on the pitch and dive for more points. Before Yaron knew what hit him, he was in a 4-1 hole. Beast and Jordan started the presumptuous trash talk because, why not? Yaron is fun to beat up on and getting in his head couldn’t hurt. But Yaron is mentally tough. He and Tom start hooking up on TE roll out and eventually Danny is found in the endzone in a clever manipulation of the zone. 4-2 Dark. With some pressure, Dark goes 3 and out. And the game changes on the next drive. Maybe. Ari, who had been having a very rough game, including a dropped DIME from Yaron and a dropped easy pick that got tipped to Jordan and eventually wound up in the MK score, catches one on the sideline and does his bulldozer thing and gets in the endzone. Lead would have been cut to 1. But what’s that? A flag back at the line of scrimmage! Beast calls holding! Bring it back. Yaron regrouped and throws a TD pass to Danny but play isn’t made and the 2 score lead is maintained. Even worse, with a drive kept alive by a scrambling Pants, Jordan gets a TD thrown stat as he takes the handoff and finds Mo wide open in the endzone when the zone defender pops out to stop the run. 5-2. Yaron once again fights back and Danny busts one open for a score. At which point Yaron declares that he will win the game. But Pants stayed poised and put up 2 more scores with Beast on the TE roll out and a final hat trick to Mo. Yaron kept battling but the clock was against him. Two more points was all he could muster before the buzzer sounded. Pants gets a Jewball and a W in his debut! Jewball to Pants for the TD, Pick, and 4 thrown.

11/10/19

Week 2 Recap

Evan called it greedy. I said I was trying to be generous. For sure it was both. Greedy in that I was trying to keep as many people in the loop as possible so that when we start losing numbers in the cold and wet, there are enough ballers left to take us through the winter months coming up. I have learned to be greedy, because when you can’t get 10 guys for a game of 5s for a few years….u never forget. The lean years always stay with you. And so you learn to get greedy to survive. But I was also being generous. I see the hunger out there for games and no one knows that hunger more than me. I get it. And how could I turn away someone who just wants to play a game? So we pushed things to their limits. Which brings us to the right word – Week 2’s experiment was presumptuous. It did not work – and we learn from it. We presumed a lot. Too much. Having 26 guys on the field from 8-11:15 presumes a lot (everyone shows, no injuries, no lateness). And we arent there yet. And a part of me – and I think a lot of the vets agree – doesnt want to get there. As much as we love growth and stats and success….we dont want to lose our heart – the flavor of the game. We dont want to sell out. Go corporate. Become a monster. Like I said, it’s a tough balance. But, luckily – in that regard – last week did not work, so the reality on the ground dictated our path. We will go back to a regular doubleheader to try and accommodate as many guys as possible. At the same time, I am going to have to make tough decisions in who gets in to the games (if that many are interested). For example, I cant give u a spot if you come late, or dont show, or leave early, or generally are not reliable. I have to show deference to the Vets who have seen us through the years where we weren’t the popular choice. I have to show deference to talent because I want the games to be as competitive as possible. In other words, for the good of the games, I need to start being the bad guy. Stop being greedy. Stop being generous. And stop being presumptuous. Dont get me wrong – there were awesome things about last week – Game 2 was a classic – the fact there was a moment where 26 guys were playing Jewball – but the double doubleheader thing did not work. So we will go back to 8am and 945. Everyone gets at least one game. That’s enough. QBs can play both if we need them to. And the rest of the both spots (if any) will be on a rotation so that they are evenly distributed throughout the season. Recap and Sign Up to follow at around 5pm.

It’s cold, dark, and I already wrote today. I am really in no mood to recap. However, the show must go on. My bigger reservation is now that we are a stat based league, the recaps don’t matter. But let’s keep it short and sweet. The Warm Up starter late as Prime had car trouble. He made it, but not right away. So was 5s for a while. Then 6s. I was told the teams I made were $#!& because @⁨Joshua Friedman⁩ is “the best player ever ever” so it was all him or something. I know he is very good. I heard he scored 4 TDs….so let’s give him a Jewball right there. I also apparently gave one team all the height. So just unfair. Anyway, the warm up game happened…and thanks for trying everyone.

. That’s the bugle they play at military funerals.
Okay on to the main stage. First things first. @⁨Sholom Prager⁩ looked very good. Love that we have a new legit QB. Welcome and hope to see a ton of you. You v. Yaron was a battle. Too bad Yaron was off….well, his whole team was off. Something was just wrong. One of those days where if the player was open the pass was either not in the right spot or if the pass was on it was dropped. Just ugly. Evan, Kut, Jordan…all with drops. Munch did his thing. Blocked and schemed and the defensive effort was generally competitive, but nothing to show for it. Was the kind of game where @⁨Eli⁩ and Jordan had a momentum swinging picks, but the momentum lead nowhere. On the other side of the ball, Sholom is colors was throwing some beauties. His team was doing him no favors either with a few drops of scoring chances. But, unlike Yaron and Dark, Colors used their momentum to put up a point. It was Singer with 2 picks and a TD. It was 1-0 for about an hour and 15 minutes. Crazy low score for that long. With a minute left @⁨Sholom Prager⁩ iced the game for his squad with a QB keeper and made it down the sideline and gone. 2-0 win…Colors over Dark.
Sholom may deserve an MVP but Singer gets it. Why? The stat line plus the play at Safety. One reason Yaron may have been off is that Singer made him feel squeezed. There seemed to be no window in which to place the ball. Well done, @⁨Meyer Singer Football⁩. Great to have u back. Expect big things.
I’ll recap Game 2 later. Was a shoot out! Dinner time in the Hiller home. Who wants WEEK 3? Early? Late? Both? (If both say a preference).

Game 2 happened on the main stage. It was the only game featured at 945. The After Party never materialized for various reasons. The good news was, the 945 needed spare parts from the After Party including a starting QB. Yaron stepped in and within a few minutes hooked up with Ari on a BOMB TD that may have just made up for all their failures in Week 1. May have. Malik came about 10 minute into the game and was off and running from there. Meanwhile Al and Jimmie split at line (with a rotation of Danny, Kito, Tomaz, and Josh to take over for John) so the 7s became a robust 8s. One very annoying thing about playing simultaneous games is that the lines are all messed up….so happy that is over. We widened and adjusted the field so this game could get the normalcy it soon deserved. Gronk looked super sharp and poised, making good decisions, when to run and when to throw. His passes were crisp and Brody was giving him a reliable target. Daveo was just a terror on both sides of the ball, but mainly getting his on defense. Malik was feeling it with Vegh on some nice crosses and comebacks but otherwise was having trouble in the passing game. Lucky for him, his running game is out of its mind. Basically, if u haven’t seen it, the closest I can compare it to is Mighty circa 2009. Virtually impossible to catch. Between the jukes, speed, escapability, and sheer brilliance….once he takes off, it’s only a matter of time that his legs will find the endzone. Between Veghs receptions and Flash’s running, Gronk and co were down 3 scores at the half. But what looked like a blow out soon turned into a duel. Daveo went next gear and became the hardest working man on the field. Once he made a catch, no one could lay on hand on him. He put up two scores in short order. Malik answered with a bomb TD of his own to Vegh and the lead was comfortable again. Gronk stayed calm and once again found a way to claw back. He actually was let down a few times by the usually reliable Danny. Maybe could have pulled this one out if a few things swung his way. We had a tie game with only a few minutes left. But Malik decided it was time to go home. Like in the first game, we end on a QB keeper. If Gronk and co won, would have been a more difficult call at MVP. Gronk threw and called as good a game as I’ve seen. Daveo was a force. Brody is a very welcome addition to our game. Those 3 came to work. But, Malik gets the MVP. The 3 scores and the the throwing TD did it. Also commendable work on keeping the rotation moving so the guys who got screwed by the After Party fail could get some ball in. TOP PLAYS: Dobby’s shirt. And Gronk telling him to go back to Staten Island for really no good reason. But it was all funny. WEEK 3 is currently locked out.*

*Just need a QB for Game 2.

11/17/19

Week 3 Recap

Week 3 had everything you want and need early on in a season that started on rocky footing. Talented players, competitive games, full teams on time, and decent weather. In a word: stability. Week 1 was postponed and wound up in some tournament style chaos. Week 2 was equally chaotic in a failed bid at simultaneous games. But Week 3 was about right. 2 games, one early one late, stacked with talent. QBs who can handle the role and are adept signal callers. Yes, some cancels, but people stepped up (GOLDBERG! You can have come a long way, homes!) and….I think….b’a’h…..no injuries. Stability. Its important in Week 3 to find that footing. And it was definitely needed and now we can build off the model.

Game 1 looks like we can lock in Sholom v. Yaron as battle that will go back and forth the entire season. Flip a coin as to how the Ws and Ls will shake out at the end of the year. What I love so far about that matchup is that their skills will force the other to bring it on every set. Yaron cannot take it easy and assume the comeback if he gets down. He needs to throw his best because Sholom has a real skill set. Last week, Yaron was not “on” and he took the loss. This week, he was sharp and the win was his for the taking. On a cold(ish) and windy(ish) morning, Yaron took the ball and commanded a dark squad of Zada, Effie, DK, Steveo, Tom, and Beast. Sholom and colors started in a zone that was beyond their grasp. Sam and Goldberg were rushing. Jordan and Skully played the sides. Sholom and Evan played back. MK manned the middle. But it was chaotic. And Yaron is too smart for a zone defense to work. Especially a poorly strategized one. Darks opening drive march to the 7 yard line was effortless. Patient mid range passes mixed in with QB runs. Eventually, Steveo sneaks behind the zone and Yaron hits him the endzone for a 1-0 lead. Truth be told, Sholom did not have the zip or accuracy he displayed in Week 2. The wind seemed to affect him. Certainly less than it affected Yaron. Also, the QB runs and elusiveness that allowed him to break open big plays in Week 2 were snuffed out by a collective swarming effort by Zada, Yaron and DK. Tom and Effie and Beast brought a lot of pressure. Sacks abounded. Yaron got the ball back and drove quite easily against the zone one again. Zada was the beneficiary this time and scored. 2-0 Dark. Colors switched to a zone and it did slow down Yaron’s barrage of scoring. With a Skully pick being the only early highlight for Colors, it did not translate to points. At the half it was still 2-0. But straight out of halftime Sholom and Jordan finally hooked up and exploited Steveo’s cheating close off the line on man coverage. Deep post, caught and down at the 5. Fake sweep and shovel to the TE Skully in the opposite direction. Easy score for Colors and we have ourselves a ball game. 2-1. But damn if Yaron doesn’t take that personally. And Steveo and Jordan have been going mano a mano for a loooong time. Always an honor. And Yaron started finding him deep. Although one drop by Steveo in a cluster and a sure TD drop by Beast kept the score close, Yaron eventually zipped a beauty into Zada in the back of the endzone. After a bobble a secure and a toe tap, Zada’s grab was ruled a score. 3-1 Dark with a half hour to play. Soon enough, Sholom punched back again. Its Jordan and that post this time caught and manages to avoid the Steveo tackle, stays in bounds on the sideline and 40 yard run to pay dirt. 3-2. Yaron is all about pride and says to Steveo….whatever they can do we can do better. And he unleashes a massive bomb to Steveo down the left sideline. Jordan is with him. Even thinks the pick is possible. But instead of thinking like a receiver, he thinks like a defender – jumps, gets a finger tip on the ball – slowing it down just enough to make the catch easy for Steveo

. TD for Dark. 4-2 with 20 minutes to go. Turning point of the game coming up. Sholom tries to go back to Jordan on that post and the ball is under thrown just enough that a Zada leap brings it down one handed and back breaker for Colors. To drive the point home, Yaron gets a 20 yard pass to fall into the awaiting arms of Effie (who is developing into quite the player) and just like that – without much time left on the clock – Dark is up 5-2. Sholom runs one in for Colors late, but not a difference maker at that point. MVP is Yaron for the 5 thrown and generally giving his team every opportunity to win – which is what everyone wants from their QB.

Game 2….I did not stay for, but thrilled Yaron lost. Thrilled Gronk is looking like an all star caliber QB. Thrilled my neighbor Mo is Jewball winner and put up great numbers.

Who wants WEEK 4? Early, Late or Both (if both must say preference or I give you what works better for us. Also, preference does not guarantee preferred time. Both means I can put you in either game but will try to accomodate preference).

11/24/19

WEEK 4 RECAP

As we drive from Tel Aviv to the Negev….with a lot of distractions so apologies to all those who want an epic recap.
Week 4 was a mixed bag. A legit early game with a storm followed by a stop and go Game 2 that ended in a tie.
Game 1 started in wet weather and for the first 20 minutes of the game we had a real downpour. Made for an intense opening and set the tone. I’ll be honest it’s going to be hard for me to write a recap where I was such a detriment to my team. I left Week 4 bummed. One of those weeks. The reason? In my mind I am 25 and can run with anyone….but in reality I’m 41 and could not stay with my first assignment, Josh, or my second, Singer….at all. And Prager was throwing the ball well. I’m gonna pull of the bandaid with this one and just say it (as opposed to creating any drama or suspense in the narrative): Prager beat Yaron 4-3 with all 4 scores coming off Jordan blown man coverage. First 2 from Josh and second 2 from Singer. Yaron was sharp as well. It wasn’t so much his arm that let down his team. Maybe play calling could have more effective but with the weapons Prager had and as locked in as he was, Yaron and his team had to be perfect – and they weren’t. They were good. Needed to be great. John dropped one sure TD. Jordan dropped 2 that would have kept drives alive. Yes, it was slick out there, but you gotta make plays to win games. Was a fun and competitive game in some wet conditions and felt gritty out there. I know Same had a sack and Beast was working hard competing in man coverage. Zada was his usual relentless self at middle LB. Tom played through pain and battled as he always does making plays from the TE spot. Full team effort by Prager. Yaron put up points with Prime and John. John also had a really nice day pulling flags. Congrats again to Vegh for the

. Jewball is to Prager for the 4 TDs thrown.
Game 2 wouldn’t deserve a recap since it ended in a tie, but I have to mention the MOST PHENOMENAL TD HOOKUP TO OPEN A GAME IN JEWBALL HISTORY! Pants to Beast on a post for 95 yards reception and score! A perfect pass over the coverage and Beast takes it to the house. Pants has quite an arm. Look forward to seeing what he can be down the line. We all be zocheh to celebrate with him at his upcoming bar mitzvah. After a trade

of Brody for Prime the game moved well. A back and forth affair with Rabin also throwing well. Zip on the ball – very few ducks and gophers. A beauty to Zada – who someone said couldn’t even catch – tied it up for the first time. Would have been interesting to see how this one ended, but we got booted for futbol. Apparently the soccer crew was one and done. Anyway, Rabin looked good at QB and I’m rooting for him at the Turkey Bowl today. Cant wait to see the pics.

12/6/19

Week 6 Recap

Do a little late night recap of Sunday. Or try to. I dont know if what happens in Vegas stays there, but seemed to have done a decent memory wipe. I remember first and foremost that Tabak no showed. So boo. Lucky for us @⁨Shalom Prager Football⁩ and @⁨E(ffie) Perry Allman⁩ were willing to stay. I think Sholom had his belt on still….so that decided it. He played with Yaron. He should have known from experience that would result in a loss.

. Truth is…Yaron looked good. He was throwing darts in warm ups. He was loose. He just came off an OT loss to Prager. He was due. But then there came this

. Brother of Socks. A kid. 24. But the guy is just a total

. Runs a huddle like a MAN. Total calm presence like all good QBs. Confident. Just a gem. We are in our golden age of QBs. First drive of the game is capped by a dandy of a Willie Mays style grab in the endzone by Goldberg. Colors was playing man to start the game and it just wasnt working. Completely unflustered by the quick punch in the face by dark….Frog completes pass after pass. Methodical take what they give you $#!&. Legs. Storm. Run a little. Beast almost sack. The worst almost I have ever scene but great pass by Frog while wrapped up. And just like that, Legs on a cross and he picks up speed after the catch. Runs nearly across the width of the field to evade defenders. We are knotted at 1. Colors is confused on defense again (a ball magically penetrates through Jordan’s hand like it is a ghost) and Yaron puts up another point. Two possessions. 2 scores. Things are looking good for Dark. After failing to move the ball, Yaron takes over and begins to orchestrate a drive. At about midfield his Achilles heal is exposed. The misjudgment. The errant throw. Not seeing the defender. The backbreaking pick. Frog zips into the lane and steals one from the sky. A few plays later he keeps and runs down the left hash mark to tie the game. Colors ball. On a 3rd long, its Frog to Jordan on a sliding catch, pop up and run for 72 yards. I believe Legs gets the call to punch it in. 3-2 Colors. Yaron – totally still in the game – drives the field and gets down to the 5. Hits Salem in the chest, ball pops up, Brody picks it and that was where Yaron realized he might just lose again. It was the second dropped ball in the endzone. The other was a tough jump ball between Goldberg and Sholom (yeah, same team). After the pick by Brody, Frog deep bomb to Jordan catch and run for 86 yards. Tom got the call this time to finish the job from the TE position and the 4-2 lead holds. Frog over Yaron. Even though Jordan had his best game in a long while in both flag pulling and play making (@⁨Josh Dobkin⁩….you know I “blocked” you on that

TD run) we live in a world of stats. And Frog had em. The pick. The 3 thrown scores. The running score. The great leadership. You get yourself a Jewball, sir.

12/15/19

WEEK 7 RECAP

Two things telling me I played 2 games Week 7. The lower back pain and the need to write two recaps. First off, credit to @⁨Maurice Moore⁩ for stepping in at 7:50am with ten minutes notice to play in the 8am game. Huge move. Changes everything. Game 1 would have been toast without you and it wound up being an excellent one and a much needed comeback for Yaron. Sholom was proven beatable and the 8am rivalry between Prager and Yaron is officially the premiere matchup of this season. Our hope is that

becomes a lock at 945 and that game can get some heat too. But, for now….the 8am is a brawl week in and out. Week 7 was no exception. On cold-ish but manageable day Yaron and Dark took ball first going with the wind. In what would turn out to be a banner day for the Commish, Yaron drops a dime down the sideline for 50 yards to get the ball to the 15 on the 3rd play of the game. A play later its Yaron to Zada – one of 3 scoring hookups between that classic duo – to give Dark a 1-0 lead. Now, did Yaron play very well? Yes. The win was well earned. Dark made stops. Mo had a monster day as always. Making picks and using his speed and hands and making plays. That said, Prager was missing guys. Prime was open twice behind the defense and was underthrown. Goldberg was open twice behind the defense and he was overthrown. So….the chances were there. Prager’s running game – cuz he is fast – was not there for him like it normally is. And Yaron just kept plugging away. So after another 50 yard catch by Jordan, leaping with Tabak and Prime to come down with the ball – followed by a Zada score, the 2-0 Dark lead felt sort of comfortable. Prime made sure to make a game of it. Dude has no quit and is all about the stats.

. He makes a catch at about the 20 and stiff arms his way down the sideline to make it a one point game. After Yaron stalled, Prager had a chance to really get back in it, but Yaron picks it and scores again – believe this time to Mo. The lead is 2 once again. Prager scored one more over the last half hour of the game – just not as sharp as he had been. And the Yaron to Jordan magic continued with a wicked sliding catch capped off by – what else – a sweet Zada sliding catch TD….and 4-2 was enough on this day. Yaron gets win. Jordan gets a Jewball for turning back and the clock and we cant wait for Week 8 and this rivalry to continue.
Game 2 was a game, but as described in the post game notes – was mostly about some genius riffs on privilege and lox. Great jokes, not such great football. The wind picked up and Malik needed some time to warm up and the clock was ticking. Meanwhile, Mo proved to be highly effective as a QB. Before Colors knew it, Dark was up 2-0 courtesy of Mighty doing his thing. Before things got out of hand Tom picked Prager by stepping in front of Goldberg on the 1 yard line and a play later Flash bombed one to Jordan and the catch and run resulted in a score. But Mo P6ed soon after and then Salem punched one in. The lead was insurmountable it seemed. Salem and Dobs were rushing Malik and smothering the run. Even with his ungodly skills evading defenders, Malik was under tremendous pressure almost every play. With the wind and rust, the ball just wasnt moving. Tom came in and has some success moving the ball but everything stalled in the redzone. At 11:05 Dark scored again and with a 5-1 lead and cones blowing all over the place, we attempted to call the game. However, the Jewballers demanded we play on! And it was kind of good we did. At least for Vegh and Zada….because with 15 minutes left in regulation – Colors put up 2 scores. Making the final a respectable 5-3. Who wants Week 8? Nice that Week 8 is on a Chanukah Eve! (Chanukah is an 8 day festival). As usual….let me know 8, 945 or both.

12/22/19

WEEK 8 RECAP

Week 8 Recap
There will be blood. And it will be flowing from Zada’s nose, and eventually from Munch’s. T’was the morning before Chanukah and all down the field, Prager was driving, but Yaron would not yield. It was another head to head match up to start the day between Yaron’s smug talents and Prager’s I Will Break You Intensity. I’m gonna call Prager, Drago. Like Gronk before him who just channeled the big kid from the Pats – every time I see Prager – I see Dolph Lundgren in his prime, ready to take on Yaron’s Rocky. (It also means Dragon which is a cool nickname). And it really is Rocky v. Drago every Sunday morning at 8am. May it continue for many years.
Before there was blood, there was an opening drive where Yaron took the ball, but did not score. If memory serves, Prager drove well and eventually Zada caught a screen and put a nice spin move on Jordan to score first. Yaron and Jordan hooked up for a 70 yard bobble and circus catch miracle to get the ball down field and Ari capped it off with a score. Tie game. A few plays later Zada got hit in the face…and…we have a bleeder! What started as trickle became a river and the dude was legit choking on it. How do I know? Cuz he and I spent much time on the sidelines together. I did pop back in to pick a ball which lead to another Yaron to Ari scoring hookup. 2-1 Yaron over Drago. Meanwhile on defends, Munch was getting angry. His team (Yaron’s team – Dark) was failing to pull flags, and Prager, MK, Mo…basically anyone who got the ball was able to run for first downs and scores. Yaron, running more than usual, kept the chains moving and took a few to the house with his legs as well. Was a back and forth tight game throughout. I think Sam caught one in the endzone! Somewhere in the mix, Ari put up his 3rd TD of the morning. I don’t remember who scored the winning TD for Yaron, but I’m gonna say Prime, cuz he had a nice idea making sideline grabs. Yaron beats Drago in a tight contest. Jewball to Ari for the 3 scores – and the last 2 were in really tiny windows so props to Yaron for zipping em in and Ari for the concentration.
Game 2 needs some help. We will get there. We had 5 QBs in the game, but our starters were Pants and Rabin. Rabin came out looking good – was throwing a good ball. Found Jordan down the sideline early on to go up 1-0. Pants was having a lot of trouble – seemingly in the huddle and on break. First 4 possessions resulted in no points and 2 turnovers. Rabin kept plugging away. One problem for Pants and Dark was that they lost Brad early on to ankle. Jordan was back to the sideline. Was that kind of day. Effie also sustained something and had to go. As in all sports, injuries change the dynamic and hard for game to recover the level it should be at. Game 2 was a 6 on 6 for most of the way. But the story of Game 2 is easy to tell. Rabin was up 5-1 with a half hour left. Yaron took over at QB and put up a quick point. On the next two possessions from the 5 yard line, Rabin – and I kid you not! – threw picks directly at Yaron which Yaron ran a few steps into the endzone. Before Colors could blink, it was 5-4. Not everything was Rabin’s fault. I think Salem bobbled one in the endzone again that was picked. That score might have been enough to keep the game from Yaron, but – give that arrogant pos credit – he doesn’t stop. And so, yes, he ties it up. With ten minutes left, Dobs catches one over the middle and he could go all the way…he does. Rabin can breathe…Colors has the lead again. There is a 3rd and long and Rabin can win the game if Yaron fails to convert….but Prime gets behind the zone somehow and Yaron has life. And that life turns into a last second TD. Tie game again! In sudden death OT, the tandem that started it all finishes it off. In really good coverage, but really bad ball awareness, Dobs doesn’t see the floating ball come at Ari – Ari makes the adjustment and reals it in. Game over. Comeback of the season. Yaron over Rabin. 7-6.

12/29/2019

WEEK 9

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year for Jewball. Every year, within a twelve day span, we have six games of Jewball. 4 regular season games – which this year was increased by unforeseen circumstances – and 2 Bowl Games. Now, although the Bowl Games don’t “count” for stats and don’t always get recaps – they are extremely important. Why? Because Sundays are business. We come out – we have work to do – we do that work. Bowl Games are holidays. They are both getting together with the family on milestone days in the calendar – and also about making a statement: When we have a day off….and even if it’s cold…and even if we went out late the night before – my COMMITMENT is to my Jewball brothers and to myself becoming a better player – dare I say a better person. Jewball teaches you much about your physical self, but every game is also a clinic in humanity. And what makes us better people than hating on and cursing out people we love?
The season continues with Week 10 this coming Sunday. Halfway mark. Much football to come.
So, Week 9 was special. I apologize again for locking out the early game before opening it up, but with Snow and Jesus in from out of town – I knew that some spots were already taken, so figured to make it a Vets Rooks game. We will have the usual end of season Vets Rook Game sometime in late February or March…and that will of course be open to everyone.
This Mid-Season Vets Rooks Game was billed to be a major showdown. MVP 2012 v. MVP 2018. All Stars v. Future Stars. On paper, it was a loaded game. The Vets had MVP, Steveo, Daveo, Jordan, Mighty, Singer, PJs, Jesus, and Kut. That’s a formidable lineup. But…Vets always need to show that they can overcome time (injuries, aches, slowness). The Rooks were a powerhouse as well: Yaron, Pringle, Mo, Beast, Zada, Logan, and MK. Tough to say on paper who had the edge. There was definitely an electricity leading up to the game and it was felt on the field before the game. I can’t speak for everyone on the field, but the Vets are a proud people and we really wanted to pull this one out – for us and for all the Vets before us. No one likes Rooks.
Daveo and Storm canceled late so both teams lost a high-motor guy, but both teams had enough talent to win and no excuses.
The Vets got their first on a deep out to Steveo. As he is apt to do, Steveo makes the catch and winds his way through traffic – goes 47 yards and Vets are up 1-0. The lead held for a while. Mighty picked a ball soon after and the Vets had some reason to believe. However, it was a tricky game. Neither team was moving the ball particularly well. And for good reason. There was a lot of talent on the field. Munch and Kut were all over Yaron. And Beast and MK were all over Snow. Snow also had the disadvantage of being on the rusty side. He likely has played in more big games than any of us, but it has been a while. The calm and confidence was there, but the long ball was not. The Rookie defense knew that they could stay at home and just smother the underneath stuff. When passes were long, Zada was there every time to run interference and make sure nothing damaging happened. On the Vets side, Mighty was a terror in the middle of the field and eating up Yaron’s patented screens.
Soon enough Yaron found something that worked. And it worked well – twice. That would be a deep jump ball to Mo down the left sideline. Steveo had great coverage, but Mo is a young leaper and he has good hands. Twice in a fifteen minute span, Mo put up points with Yaron and the Rooks took the lead. The Vets had a chance to tie things up after a Jesus pick. Singer nearly pulled one in but he took a hit while he was trying to secure the ball and it fell to the turf. It was around this time that Singer was getting shaken up – and although of course he soldiered through the entire game, he was clearly in some pain and pushing himself. With ten minutes left, Snow put together a drive that kept the Vets alive – using his famous Singer to Mighty hook and ladder on a 4th and long. A few plays later, Jordan ran one in, but it was called back on an illegal block call by Logan. A play later – there was a clear score – this time to Singer. And, as MVP said, if that is the final TD pass of his career (and we hope it isn’t!), it is a perfect endnote. Snow to Singer is a legendary combination in the leagues around these parts – they have been an unstoppable force for decades. And you can say you were there when. More importantly than that melodrama, the Vets had life with a few minutes left. And as they were pumped up….they lowered the boom on Yaron on took over on downs. With 80 yards to go and the potential to win if they scored…Snow throws one just a bit too high and it was tipped by hi receiver….and….picked by Prager – who runs like a fiend. He catches and bolts for the endzone. And scores. Rooks break the hearts of all Jewball fans and defeat the Vets. MVP of affair is Zada for the defensive prowess.

Game 2 was the opposite of Game 1. It was an non-competitive disaster. We ended up having to play 3 games just to make it tolerable (re-started twice). Was a good time. With good people. But Prager has his team humming and Mo had his team bumbling. Just one of those days, Mo. Prager won the first two games 4-0 each. Switch sides and won 3-1. Quite the day for the man known as Pringle. Jewball to him.
Who wants WEEK 10?

1/5/2020

Week 10 Recap

There is something to Jewball getting back to business as usual. Last year was the magical season because so many things happened to set up the by the book season we are in the midst of. So many things fell into place to breathe life back into our comatose game. The contrast between where we were before the season and where we wound up was phenomenal. The fact that so many guys came back. The fact that so much talent came out. It was EXACTLY what we needed to revive a very proud and long legacy. A legacy of…well….we found out this season a bit more about our roots.

All kidding aside, as we mark the halfway point of this 2019-2020 Jewball campaign, by far the biggest development of our season was the lines dropped – however few – from the man we call The Oracle. Every single one of us plays this game today because of a game he started sometime in the early to mid 90s in Queens. Would you have played football in some form or another regardless of that game? Some of you for sure. Some maybe. Some maybe not. But it certainly would not be this game. Because this game is Jewball. It traces itself back to Queens and it is it’s own thing. There are pick up games and there is Jewball. There are leagues and there is Jewball. So, it is really an honor to have The Oracle occasionally checking in with us, overseeing our progress, and hopefully make it down for a photo opp one of these days. Right behind that is an excellent new crop of talent. From gamer arms like Mo and Prager, to talented characters like Dobs, Storm, Brody, and Salem, to the return of Singer as a regular…we can once again see a bright future for our game. Almost more than anything, I love and appreciate that when Snow comes in from Chicago, or Jesus comes in from Cincy, or (in theory) if Zezzy is in from Israel or any other vet is around and wants to get a game in – they have a home. My hope is that one day when you are a vet and want to get a game in down the line, there will be a Jewball home for you. You will be known and respected and welcomed – just by name. Just by saying you are a Jewballer. That is the dream.

Week 10 kicked off the 2020 calendar and – as we began with – was business as usual. And there is every reason to celebrate that. 30 degrees and windy. The midseason aches and pains are in full force. 8am is early. But….14 players – the usual suspects – come out, put their heads down – no excuses – and play the game to the best of their abilities.

Now, I have never completed the Daf Yomi cycle, but they say it’s less about the daf and more about the yomi. The consistency. Establishing the pattern and perfecting the quality of showing up. And that’s what we do in Jewball over the winter months. We gear up and we show up. And the Prager v. Yaron 8am game seems to have become a locked in matchup that we can count on. A real Jewballer can be counted on. The more you give the game, the more it will give you.

So it was Yaron v. Prager and with Beast and Storm running later, Ari jumped from Prager’s Colors to Yaron’s Dark. Naturally 🤨 Yaron took the ball to start the game and went with the wind. The wind was fierce and it seemed to be the kind of day where running the ball and short patterns would dominate the playcalling. Yaron is an excellent play caller and he dialed up what was needed. Screens to Prime with Zada and Ari blocking. Tight end roll outs to Rabin. QB scrambles. On that opening drive, whatever they tried worked. Eventually, Zada – Mr. Consistancy himself – catches one in the endzone. Dark up 1.

About this time Beast and Storm show up and Beast – instead of coming into the game – starts to set up the honeymoon suite on the sidelines. Turns out his woman is going to be coming out to witness his prowess. But will he impress?

So Ari comes back to Colors and Beast/Storm go to Dark. Now with everything settled, Prager gets to work. It was evident from the beginning that it was going to be very hard to move the ball. For both sides, but clearly more so for Colors. Kut, Jordan, MK….dropping balls that needed to be caught. The only seemingly reliable set of mitts were those belonging to Wilmer. After making a big run to get Colors most of the way there, he caps off the drove with a tough jump ball in the front of the endzone. Game is knotted at 1. Both sides kept it safe for a while and it resulted in a 20 minute scoring drought. On this day, though, Dark had the overall advantage on offense and defense. It wasnt necessarily a talent advantage although with Zada, Goldberg, Beast, Storm, Prime, and very effective Rabin on defense, Yaron had many reliable weapons – what Dark had was the mental advantage. Mostly on defense. While Colors was missing flags, getting bullied, and letting short plays become long plays. It felt like Yaron would eventually breakthrough. On a 4th and long from their own 30, Colors had a great opportunity to take over with field position. Sam was in pursuit and Yaron was spun around looking for somewhere to. Sam was close on sacks all day, but….close wont cut it. Just ask Beast. Yaron was forced to the right sideline and Jordan had come across the field to bottle up the run and close in on Yaron. But just as the sack was on and after about 15 seconds of scrambling…..Yaron somehow finds Goldberg just beyond the first down marker – on his knees. Catch is made. It extends the drive and leads to a Zada diving TD. 2-1 Dark.

Colors continued to struggle, mainly due to the collective defense mindset of Dark. Prime, Yaron, Rabin, Zada….collapsing on every play and plugging everything up to make it feel like Colors never had a chance. Maybe there were adjustments to be made, but on this day Prager and co could not figure them out. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ball, Yaron was the complete opposite. The wind didnt even seem to bother him. With the short plays working, that opened things up downfield and for some reason his passes cut the wind and got to their destinations. His 3rd TD was a 28 yard strike to Beast who celebrated with the love of his life with an epic on field

. Pretty cool moment. Happy for them. With 8 minutes left in regulation, Yaron hit Goldberg to put his squad up by 3 and that was that. Jordan had to go march against Jewball hatred.

Jewball for this one goes to Yaron. Every other QB on the day could not figure out how to put up points in the elements. But Bron had no problems. That makes him an MVP and a Jewball winner.

I will now disappoint some, but hearten others. Game 2 was a tie and I wasnt there, so no recap and no Jewball. Honorable mention to Kut for coming back after heading home to be there for his Jewball brothers – once again proving his unparalleled commitment to our game. And I heard he had a hell of a game. Thank you, Kut. Klan to Jordan and Brody for failing to communicate which create the unnecessary situation which brought about Kut’s heroics. Sorry about that, Jewballers.

Half the season left. Bowl Games behind us. It’s the dog days of winter. Who wants WEEK 11?

1/12/2020

Week 11 Recap- part 1

On this eve of my 42nd birthday, it is a time for reflection. Where do I begin? Do I begin emailing with Rabin at age 25 – when we thought we were ancient – and Jewball was having an off year as we realized Queens was a Jewball graveyard. And we weren’t sure if the game would survive in a new land. And I think we felt old. I had been playing all of three years! But…y’know…I was smitten. I was committed. He saw that. So, kind of like what Yaron and I have now, Rabin saw me as a co-commissioner. And I remember him saying, let’s just end it. My inclination was the same, but then I said – let’s push it a bit…I wrote him a big pump up email and I concluded with a hope and prayer that we play until we are 30. Ay 25, 30 sounded ridiculously old. Like to think about playing football at 30 was foolish. Cause 30 is super old and out of it and over the hill and just bury them. That’s what we thought. I said it almost as a joke, thinking that we would try to keep playing for a while longer in the 5Ts and retire at 28 or 29 because….30 was beyond playing age, right? Or do I begin when Esses came down at 31 and made me believe there were games even beyond 30. Or do I begin when Viv came down at 41 and – although he seemed pretty darn old – we realized there were games after middle age. Or do I begin with Eddie who is my hero!? Over 50 and ripping it up with his kids! Please, please, God….merit me that! I think though the place to start is this afternoon when my Jewballers demanded a recap of Week 11. Why? Because looking back is what makes us old. The present is what you have to live for! Celebrate the awesomeness of the present! That keeps you young. And, for Jewball, there is no greater birthday, er, present that what we have going today.
This philosophical intro segues nicely to what I want to discuss as we go into the last stretch of season before us. It’s an old topic for recaps, but worth digging into once a season. I’ve been seeing something over the past two weeks and we need to confront it as a league. That is this: We all have physical limitations. Our bodies can only do certain things. Our strides are based on criteria we cannot change. The size of our hands. Our eye sight. Our reflexes. These are physical attributes that you either are blessed with or not. What has no limitation – other than that which you impose on yourself – is your mental state when you play the game. What I mean is, your desire to compete. Yes, I know we come down for brotherhood and a good time, but….in my opinion….we should always show up ready to go ALL IN mentally. You have carved out this time to play Jewball. Clear your head, come out with fire and an insatiable desire to compete to the best of your ability. I say this only because I feel that in Week 10 and again in Week 11, the teams were equal in talent, but one was just mentally tougher than the other. And that shouldn’t happen. I ask everyone who signs up to come down with as passion and will and commitment to winning and competing as they can harness. You only have so many games in your life. Give each one whatever you got.
Week 11 was the CLIMATE CHANGE BOWL sponsored by Cow Farts. In early January we had record high temps. The game saw 60 degrees and sun. Back in the day when we got a warm weather day in the middle of the winter I was grateful. Now, I’m scared. But let’s go back to sleep on that issue until it’s too late. Good. Done. The amazing weather summoned a who’s who of Jewball talent. Game 1 saw Gronk come back after an elongated hiatus to reunite with his Cronies and take on an old foe, Yaron. Just when we were talking about Prager being locked in to the 8am slot, we booted him to the 945 to see if Yaron and Gronk could rekindle some of that Magical Season magic. And, alas, it was not meant to be. Yaron was stocked with some old school all stars in Mighty, Singer, Tom, and Munch – along with new school gamers Prime/Beast and Sam. Gronk with Cronies assembled, plus Jordan, Kut, and Asa had a really tough task ahead of them. And they were not up to it. Now, I give Gronk a pass because rust is real. I don’t want to hear anything about Gronk not being a QB. You are forgetting the evolution last year. He is legit and I expect him to be a competitive QB in this league. He has all the tools and gifts. All he has to do is want it. And speaking of wanting it, Mighty “Give Me the Damn Ball” Rat and Singer have that mental toughness we spoke about earlier. They care about what happens on every play. They do not want to let their teams down and – more importantly – they don’t want to let themselves down. Because if you aren’t scolding yourself over the course of the week for plays your messed up in Jewball…you are missing out : ) And Yaron is the same. And Munch is the same. So it was not surprising that Yaron jumped out to a 1-0 lead. Then 2-0….Then 3-0. It was a lot Mighty at the beginning. A bomb down the right sideline dropped in perfectly. A cross with signature spin move. Gronk and Dark were struggling. No other way to say it. Just wasn’t vintage Gronk, combined with a few dropped balls and some embarrassingly weak flag pulling, it was evident rather early that Yaron would win. The only question really was by how much. Well, Singer – not to be out-statted – put up 3 scores late, including a controversial scoop on a low thrown ball that he secured before it hit the ground. Yaron’s crew would score 7. Gronk threw one TD on the day following a sweet over the shoulder pick by Jordan and run back to the 5. The final score was 7-3 as Jordan and Vegh P6ed Yaron late in the day. The Jewball will go to a man who is covetous of the ball and our game in all the best ways. A man whose ass I have kissed since the day I first saw him- and rightly saw. A man who wears pink with pride. Mighty, my brother, Jewball to you. Honorable Mention of course to Singer for the same stat line (or shall I say rat-line) but Mighty scored early to tear Dark’s heart out. You merely stomped on it while it was on the ground. Recap of Game 2 for another time…maybe tomorrow…stay tuned.

Week 11 Recap Part 2

So, let’s say we had a first here and I recap a Week 11 Game 2 after a Week 12. Whe I slip, I slip hard.
And I’m especially hurt by this sequence of events, because my whole shtick about 💦💦💦 goes to waste due to him actually having player this week. Plus, now that he is on the chat, it would he a disgrace to go into how we all that he was Yaron’s imaginary friend/fantasy. You should have seen Yarons face when he couldnt track 💦💦💦 down. It was pure misery. But, meanwhile, you must fight water with 🔥🔥🔥 and our fiery Johny 🌩 was also MIA. So it was 6s for Game 2. And this one was kind of bleak affair. On the one side you had a fresh legged Pringle ready to pop off and on the other side you had Yaron playing Game 2 kinda hurt. The guy is a QB and seems to mash his thumb evey single game and act like he is out for the season, but then play the whole game….no pussyitis there at all. But he was banged up. As was Daveo early on after a collision with Mo. So there goes Color’s number 1 defender and always an offensive threat. Remember, btw, it is sunny and like 60 degrees…..so insane beautiful day for football, but injuries dont care about the weather. When they strike, they strike. Gronk was also not himself physically after the Game 1 QB stint. Hobbled. Rusty. One of those. It was kind of one of those unwinnable games for Colors due to the injuries. HOWEVER, Yaron has no quit in him and he believed – for 90%- of the game, that he would still win. And that’s a beautiful and powerful thing. I know Kut complimented my memory before, but this has been a while. I know Prager and Dark scored first. And second. I’m feeling like it was Prime with the big day. MK and Tom lead blocking and Prime just running it hard. I also recall Mo catching one over Jordan and winning a very close footrace to endzone. Prager ran one in as well. It was kind of joke. Colors was slow and banged up and had no real answers. Yaron had few weapons at his disposal but he was off the mark anyway. Close, but not his sharp self. Sadly, I do not recall the final score, but I know it was one sided. I remember Steveo had a great one handed grab and run. I’m sure Ari had a TD since he and Yaron have a nice thing going. And I’m sure Pringle got himself another Jewball. 😉. Kid is running away with the MVPs. Hey, Yaron…..you better start beating this dude. Who wants WEEK 13?

1/19/20

Week 12 Recap

In typical Prima donna fashion, Silent J and Yabron go on vacation and decide this week’s game shouldn’t count for the regular season. We could prob just add it to the list of poor decisions being made this season, (Jewball recipients, ahem, cough cough) but with the uproar and hoopla from the general public, it was decided that Week 12 will count! That means Stats are in play. Due to people being away and fear of the cold, there would only be 1 game, 8:30-10:15.

Weather was looking cold, but nice, until Sat night when a nor’easter blew in from the south bringing with it freezing rain, sleet, hail and 6 inches of snow (Not to be confused with MVP) Suddenly, guys started dropping out; stomach ailments, pneumonia, and general pussyitis were the excuses.

“Game is ON!” Declares Commish from the airport. (Rumor has it that he’s interviewing for the soon-to-be-open Roger Goodell position.) With all the dropouts, we have uneven numbers, but Vegh smells an opportunity to sleep in and offers to sit this one out. (Some may question his dedication, but it takes a lot to give up playing, so we’ll assume he was taking one for the team)

Sunday morning woke us up with a promise of cold but not freezing weather. As game time gets closer, Rabin is trying his best to get just one more, even manages to get Rabin Jr. out of bed, but alas, it’s too little, too late. Game will be 6’s. Reports from the field inform us that A) field is clear and B) Aside from J and Yaron, no one has a clue how to set up the field. (Pretty sure field was 5 yards longer this week then every other week)(Which explains why we were so winded. Hi Munch!) by the time 8:30 rolls around Everyone is at the field and the sun is starting to shine. As the game progressed, the weather got nicer. By the time the game was over we couldn’t have asked for more perfect football weather.

In addition to field setup, we need to give a serious amount of credit to Yaron for compiling all the stats every week and to Jordan for remembering all the plays and writing the recap. Seriously, guys, take a moment and reach out to thank them! …………..

I cannot remember every play in sequential order, but I do remember most of the significant plays.

Favorite play has got to be Tabak/Wilmer/Fez catching a beautiful pass and then running, juking, sashaying, and prancing down the field with an incredible burst of speed. Zada had his usual great defensive game including 2 picks, but I’m pretty sure his pants are still in the middle of the field where Jeremy absolutely broke his ankles.

Line play was very solid on both sides of the ball. Rabin gets Sacked by Kut 3 times and Steve 2 (maybe 3) times. Rabin clearly remembers Steve getting knocked down at the line by Munch yet still manages to reach out, grab Rabin’s ankle and just brings him down like a rag doll. On the opposite side, Munch does his usual and wreaks havoc and chaos, shutting down the left side and sacking Pringle 3 times. Singer has a great game as well and takes a defensive series on the line and gets a sack of his own.

Now to the QB’s, Rabin calls a great game, but clasically fails to follow through on his call in the huddle. When he does what he says he’ll do, things go well and with lots of screen, run plays, and creative passing he’s able to get his team to score 3 times. He did throw 3 picks which is pretty decent compared to Yaron, but in this game, it’s just too many turnovers. On the dark side of the ball, Pringle has a solid game throwing for 3 TD’s, rushing 1 and keeping his team going.

Lots of good ball movement on both sides of the ball, including passes to Tom, (Who had his longest play in the last 4 years) TD passes to Prime, Zada and Singer helped get the colors to 3.

Pringle used his weapons well and spread the offense to all his receivers, Kut, Steve, Goldberg and TD’s to Dobs and Tabak (2).

Overall, was a very good game. Final score is 5-3. Colors had a chance to make the game just a touch closer, but on 4^th and short, they failed to connect and Dark happily took over.

I know many people read the recap just to see their names, to relive their own personal glory (Hell, that’s why I read it.) and to find out who receives, what used to be a coveted “award” fondly known as the Jewball. The decision of who receives the Jewball is not a popular vote, it’s not an electoral vote, it’s not a vote at all. It’s decided by the writer of the recap (Check the bylaws, there is precedent for it.) So, on this occasion, with Commishaway on meetings (Perhaps signing a franchise agreement between Jewball and the NFL) I have the unique opportunity to choose this weeks Jewball recipient.

The Jewball award for this week goes to Pringle! He’s great as a QB but an even better safety. Pulling down 2 picks, 1 which he takes to the house to give Dark the lead. He also flew from across field to block that pivotal last drive by colors. I don’t think anyone would argue. (except for Beast. Has anyone heard from him?)

Looking forward to Week 13. Please wait for Jordan to open the sign up.

-Kut

1/26/20

Week 13 Recap

Week 13 was one of those weeks where I wanted to write the recap quickly and turn the page. Actually didn’t fall asleep last night until 5am. A lot on my mind. Some of it about our game. Some of it about the devastating and shocking news we all heard about Kobe Bryant. So, this is the context – for my purposes in this recap – as it relates to the loss of someone like Kobe Bryant. On the one hand, Kobe – maybe more than any other athlete we can think of – was the ultimate fierce competitor. I talked about this a few weeks ago. If you listened to the interviews and biographies yesterday – one theme was constant. Kobe loved the game he played, sure, but that was not what made him special. Special to the point of extraordinary. What made him stand above and beyond everyone else was that he was driven to push himself to his limits in order to win. In order to be great. Yes, he had tremendous physical gifts, but many athletes do. What I talked about a few weeks ago. That mental edge that sets the legends apart – that is what Kobe had. What you also heard yesterday from players and colleagues was that his drive was not just personal. It was not kept for himself to create an advantage that he alone could tap into. His drive was contagious. The quote you kept hearing over and over again was, “Kobe made you want to be better.” There is that aspect of Kobe Bryant that is important to what we do every Sunday. And I was heartened to think about so many guys that do that in our game. I know he is frustrated with me – and I deserve it – my on field demeanor is lacking – and I know I have a reputation for praising him (although he probably feels not enough : ) – but I do think Mighty – at least for me – is the Kobe of our game. The intensity, the desire to win, and the ability to convert that desire into amazing physical fetes is a rare combination – and Mighty has that. More about him later. Though there are others. I think a guy like Munch makes us want to be better. To match up with his preparedness level. To match his cerebral approach. Another guy I tend to disrespect – Zada has that Kobe-esque laser focus. Again, there are others, but in the wake of the death of a true competitor, I have to start by recognizing those who bring that edge every week to Jewball and make us all want to be better players. Thank you.
On the other side of the coin – and in a way it truly is the opposite side – that is the big picture approach, which Beast touched on yesterday. And it is hard to balance the two. In general. It does make for an excellent counterbalance. To appreciate life. To not get to caught up in anything trivial. To not waste time. Abuse or take for granted relationships. For my purposes, here, that just means appreciate Jewball – your brothers here. Not just in the game, but when someone seems to need something. Or have an issue. Don’t judge – support. I call this the counterbalance, because – in a way – seeing the big picture makes our games seem insignificant. Why argue about a call? Why curse a friend out (even though no one is taking it that seriously)? Why be obscene on our chat? Or mean? I’m thankful we actually don’t have much of that. We are able to get past nearly every insult, scuffle, argument, etc. Jewball is a place where you can destroy an opponent one week and be their biggest fan the very next. But, you hear what I’m saying? Kobe the player taught us to have a killer instinct in order to win. Kobe, in his death leaves a message of….is winning really that important? Maybe just being alive, loving the ability to play, appreciating the people you play with – not taking each day/game for granted – that should be enough? Is the lesson that we shouldn’t ever get caught up in the….stats. I don’t know – it is a tough one. The age old sports dilemma. In a league like ours or even the pros. Where is the line between what matters and what really matters. I don’t have answers, just some thoughts that kept me up most of the night. It wasn’t that alone. Of course having a really unproductive day on the field – plus the yelling/cursing at people – with my first game being of the age 42 was a bummer. With all the above thoughts running through my head, it was the first time I got slightly depressed thinking about what a post-sports life would be like. I’ve been strapping up for Jewball for the past twenty years nearly every Sunday morning from September-March. I can’t imagine any other way.
Luckily, in this 2019-2020 season, I did put on the cleats for Week 13 and got to the field fashionably on time (which is late), but of course people got there later. Jewballers, I’m gonna say this and I will hold you and myself to it. I don’t care if you are a Vet who wants two games. Vet status does not allow you to come late. In fact, your job is to show the Rooks what accountability means. So, for example, if I am locking someone like Dobs out of an 8am game, but he is there ready to play at 8am – and you are rolling in at 8:05….you will not get an 8am game over him in the future. That is an example, but you hear me on it. So, fair warning. You want two games, you MUST be on time for the first one.
Since I’m on a disciplinarian roll, I’ll get to the jersey thing. This should not be difficult. Football works like this. You have a QB. His job is hard. He needs to scan the field, find his receivers and throw them the ball while they are being covered; at the same time guys like Munch, Oren, and Kut are running at them with reckless abandon. In order to make their jobs easier, we give each team a jersey assignment. One team wears Dark – which is like black or dark grey or dark blue or…stop pretending you don’t know what dark is….and the other team is Colors – this means a bright identifiable color – like red, green, yellow, orange, purple, blue…oh yeah, pink. This is not difficult. We do this for the good of your team. To help your QB. To help defenders identify who they should cover and who they should leave alone. Not because I like rainbows. Now, if everyone – especially the QBs – tells me they like the challenge of simply remembering who is on their team and allow everyone to wear whatever they want – God Bless! We can do that. I just don’t see why. It is not hard to follow this deal. I am destroyed for not being like every other league when it comes to feet in or ball in, but when it comes to identifiable jerseys for teams – I feel like I’m on an island. It’s not a big deal – I know. But – it’s also not a big deal to just check your team and throw on a colored t-shirt or a dark t-shirt over whatever thermals, sweatshirt you are wearing. Fine, rant done.
Yaron and Dark come in to this one with a lot to prove. I haven’t been counting, but his losing streak against Prager feels significant. It has been a while since Bron had a vintage start where his tempo and synergy with his team was on point. The kind of prodigiousness that we are accustomed to game in and out last year. He is a talent and his will to win is unparalleled so we all know there is a huge winning streak coming before the end of the season, but it did not come this past Sunday. He lined up with O, PJs, Mighty, Goldberg, Beast, and Zada. On other side (mostly in colors) were Prager, Munch, Steveo, Kut, Tom, Gronk, and Prime. Jordan and Dobs split up to get reps at deadline. Neither were a factor except that Dobs kept hurting his fellow linemen. Just kidding, Dobs also tracked people down on screens. Jordan did nada. Well, this one was a defensive battle of attrition. Either the QBs were off or the defense was lock down, but 3 and outs abounded. Both O and Kut had a bunch of drops for their teams, respectively, but those few incompletions standout because most of the game was just really good, aggressive defense and very effective line play. The QBs were running for their lives all day and the result was many an errant throw and multiple sacks. I personally was an eyewitness to Kut and Munch getting it done. Oren and Beast were equally tenacious stuffing Prager. However, early in the game there was an exchange of scoring. Well, almost right off the bat, Kut catches a ball in the flat – stiff arms Zada, then bounces out the sideline where he stiff arms Yaron – and he keeps going. The only man to beat is Beast, but instead of tracking Kut down, Beast calls the play dead and confuses his team. He is calling flag blocking – pointing and waving off the play. Kut keeps going and makes it to the endzone. PJs was lead blocking for him even though they were on opposite teams. PJs then lifted Kut into the air with one hand, reached into his back pocket and pulled out a 5 foot Jewball Trophy and handed it to him. It was unreal. But, of course the play was called back. And this causes me stress. So, I will say it again for all to see, hear, remember – The only person who can call a flag guard is the person whose hand was blocked by the receiver/runner. You cannot call it on behalf of someone else. Period. Don’t do it. Sorry Kut.
Shortly thereafter, Dark gets confused on a coverage and Prime is wide open behind the safety. Nice soft pass. Touchdown. Colors up 1. At about the halfway mark, Mighty has had enough. Yaron drops back, flips to Zada who shuffles a pass to a reversing Mighty….and let the pinball wizardry begin. Cutting, shifting, clawing and digging for every yard, Mighty gets past the linebackers, secondary and has only Prager to beat. Beautiful, angry stiff arm – Prager loses his grip. Mighty is in. Tie game. Then nothing for a long time. That is until Yaron hits Goldberg on a 4th and goal at the 1. You may have seen the preview of what happens next on our post-game chat sesh. Goldberg does not make it into the endzone, but stretches the ball over the plane. Arguments ensue. Jordan loses cool. Which is fine, per Kobe’s life – or not fine, per Kobe’s death…not sure. However, as we are all calm, cool, and collected at this later hour – we shall clarify our 3rd Jewball rule of the day. This is a two feet in league. Whether you love it or hate. It is the way it has always been – I am not unsure of that. I am not confused. I am not misremembering. We play two feet in. That’s anywhere on the field including the endzone. And, yes, that was adjusted to two feet – and the ball over the goal line. As we said yesterday, you need 3 balls in the endzone to score in Jewball. So, that was a fake controversy. While I am sorry that Kut’s TD got called back, and I feel for a gamer like Goldberg, I am not sorry his non-TD did not count. Of course, because why not have an already disgruntled team become completely disgusted – on the very next play (a turnover on downs) – Prager takes off down the left sideline and some weak flag pulling combined with his wicked speed turns into a 87 yard TD and a 2-1 lead for Colors. As commish, I was hoping for either Yaron to score quickly or Prager to go up to so the controversies of the day could simmer down, but….nah…..why should I be so lucky? Instead, both teams continue to struggle. Prager is about to maybe ice the game with a fade to Gronk, but Beast has to of course make the defensive play of his life and corral in a ball that winds up in a rolling scramble with Gronk on the ground. Was that kind of day. Everything that mattered needed booth review. Add to that, it’s 940 and Game 1 should be over and Game 2 should be starting. Add to that, the Game 2 people are late (hey, Game 2 people – same rule applies – I cannot lock people out of a game in favor of you, if you do not have respect enough for the game to be ready to play at 945). But Solo is there, making calls from the sidelines. Mo is filming. Getting late. Kind of a hurry-up circus. This game could only end one way. With no time on the clock, and following Beast’s splendid pick – which sucked for me….Yaron gets ball one last time. I’m hoping for a 3 and out, which was the case for most of the game. No. He orchestrates his best drive of the day. Culminating with….what else? A 4th and goal from Colors’ 30. How about a sack? An incompletion? A catch clearly short of the endzone? Forget that – how about a clear TD and a tie game! But, no – not for this unique game. We get a dime dropped over the coverage to Mighty at the very back of the endzone. Steveo is neck and neck with him and draped on him. Ball drops in just before the back line. A place where only Mighty could catch it. That is, if he has perfect concentration, hands and ball skills. So….of course he catches it. Steveo says out of bounds. Mighty doesn’t say much, but his eyes are afire. He has been burning all game. The video review (I told ya) shows he has one foot in before falling out of the back of the endzone. Game over. Colors win a contentious one. Jewball goes to Prime for the TD and the defensives prowess, breaking up passes all over the place. Congrats.
Game 2 was mercifully less contentious. Better vibes overall, but no different an outcome for Yaron. Gronk, who struggled last week, found a nice rhythm with his arsenal – mainly Goldberg and Zada and did a really nice job picking apart Yaron and Dark’s defense. With the addition of Solo to the game, Yaron has found that his dream has become a nightmare. Back to back weeks he is being hunted. Don’t worry, Bron – he will be on your team soon ; ) Gronk just kept using the space created by the zone to move the ball. Methodical $#*&. When he needed a longer completion for a first down, Goldberg was extremely reliable. When they got to Dark’s 5, he zipped one in to Zada who did his signature leap and plucked it from the sky with two hands. Yaron was having a hard time finding the same soft spots in the Colors’ zone. Not surprising since a.) Solo was coming after him and b.) Gronk and Zada in the middle are truly expert flag pullers. So while Yaron’s schemes were being sniffed out and blown up, Gronk just kept plugging away and finding his guys for gains. Soon enough, it was Goldberg hauling one in just over Dobs. 2-0 Colors. Although Yaron again went 3 and out and his confidence started to wane, it was Oren who single handedly changed the momentum. A pick! And a 57 yard run! Dark had life. Yaron lit up! Very next play, dumps the ball to Dobs – slants to the middle of the field and scampers into the endzone. 2-1. Dark switches to a man coverage and it does just enough to get the ball back at midfield. Yaron calls Jordan in motion on a wheel and fly. It works. Jordan is behind the coverage along the right sideline. Strike in his chest! Score! Tie ball game. A few minutes later, with all the momentum seeming to have swung in favor of Dark, Yaron lofts a beauty to Vegh over the top and Vegh makes a brilliant catch, but is stopped just a few yards short of the goal line. With only fifteen minutes left, Yaron has a real opportunity to change his fortune. 1st down – zips a ball to a jumping Oren – through his hands, then through Veghs. 2nd down – broken play with a scramble and a roll and a shuffle pass to Jordan – hits Jordan’s chest with a thud and then to the turf. 3rd down – Another broken play – but Yaron sees Jordan in the middle of the endzone and throws a high but catchable ball…Jordan gets a hand on it, but that is all. 4th down is a sack. Gronk takes over with a real chance to win the game. From his 20 and with Oren and Tom collapsing on him, he somehow finds a window and throws a 35 yard bullet to Salem. The coverage was good, but the pass was better. Salem scores to give his team the lead. Yaron gets a final chance to make things interesting, but Tom deflects a ball that kind of ate him up and it drops into Mo’s arms. Pick up the cones. Gronk and co win. Jewball to the Gronk for the great play on both sides of the ball. Pulled a dozen flags and threw completions for positive yards relentlessly. Welcome back.
Who wants WEEK 14?

2/2/2020

WEEK 14 RECAP

Week 14 is what we call a mixed bag. The sign ups were robust but we still managed to have personnel issues. The games were competitive but the price we paid may have been heavy. With injuries looming in our QB corps, I write this recap right now with a lot of unknowns about the future. As much as we preach next man up in sports, if Yaron is not around for the rest of season, the ramifications will be deeply felt. We got good news today, but I need to see these guys back on the field and playing well to exhale.
We started the day with Bron doing fittings on the field as the JB jerseys were revealed last week. He needed to know small, medium, and large as well as cup size. Leading up to the game, Dobs was feeling bleh after a run in with a Chinese prostitute and Pringle revealed a chip in his wrist (get it?). The ominous signs were there. Meanwhile, what many felt was the biggest adjustment was Goldberg entering the fray as deadline for Yaron. Taking nothing from PJs and his valiant effort (a man who knows that when you can get a game in – you get it in and do your best) but Goldberg has evolved into a premiere pass rusher and the effects of his prowess would be felt throughout the game.
That is not to say Prager and Dark could make excuses for the end result. They had weapons. Prager has been the better QB over the past few weeks. Yaron had a losing streak on the line. According to Singer, Colors would need to overcome a lot – Dark was STACKED! But, that’s why you play the game.
This game was a shut out and shut outs don’t make for exciting recaps (the exciting recap is saved for Game 2). Shut outs kind of sneak up on you. You go down 1 – okay we can tie this thing up. You go down 2 – no big deal, let’s make it a one TD contest. Then you go down 3 and still have not scored and that voice sneaks into your subconscious – uh oh – is this one of those games? Then you go down 4 and not much time left on the clock – yup, it’s one of those games. I cannot take anything away from Yaron. He did what he needed to do as a QB. Big scramble early on. Threw a beautiful timing pattern jump ball to Singer to get the scoring started. He lead his team – they played tough for him and they won this game handedly. They punched and never got punched back. Why? Well, that is what Dark needs to think about all week. Fact is: Prager wasn’t Prager. Careful on the runs and careful pulling flags – understandable because of the wrist. There is physical pain and there is mental hesitation – and it changes the motor settings. That said, his team did him few favors on offense. A few spot on early passes were straight dropped – I recall Vegh being a repeat offender. And when you are hurting and have Munch and Goldberg getting in – dropped passes create exponentially problematic situations. And that was the story all game. The pressure and need to take risks lead to picks. Two of ‘em being of the P6 variety (Singer and Logan). The highlights of the Game for Dark was a Mighty pick that gave Dark some light when it was only 2-0, but it did not lead to a score – instead Colors made a goal line stand. And of course there was an epic sack of Yaron that was a full on tackle by the BEAST. Was a thing of beauty. Toward the end of the game, Yaron went down with a knee and hobbled off the field – non contact injury and he claimed to have heard the mythic “pop.” Of course he hobbled his way back into the game a few minutes later and tried to put up a 5th TD by riding Sam, but the man who manufactures hands has none and could not close that deal. Yaron and Colors win 4-0. Jewball to the line of Munch and Goldberg for being the obvious difference makers in this game – forcing the picks, keeping Solo off Yaron, and holding a potent offense to no scores.
Now to Game 2. My man Rabin is seeing this recap being posted and saving it to be read in the shower. No need to ruin another pair of scrubs. I would assume if we look to the chronicles we would find an email like this once a season. It is the recap that keeps Rabin going. While 95% of the Recaps tear him apart – call him out for all the deficiencies he exhibits so prolifically as both a human being and a football player – there is that one recap each season that pulls him off the ledge and revives his fading career. Now, cards on the table: Rabin and I are in a very unique space in this game. With B-sh being less of a presence this year, me and that dude are truly the last men standing from Queens. In many ways, I feel like I just met him – but we have been doing this for almost 20 years. I mean, that’s a big a number. It’s been a rollercoaster. The ups and downs of this league – this game. But, there is one thing I am sure of – I would not be playing anymore if it wasn’t for Rabin. Now, of course we are rolling now in the age of Bron and I feel like I’m 22 again and look forward to Sundays like I did back then….but there was some rough years in between. Really rough. Pathetic! And the one thing I can tell you that never faded – not one bit – when all hope was lost: That is Rabin’s enthusiasm for Jewball. It’s truly inexplicable. He has so much love for this game – it cannot be adequately described. It’s not a generous love, no….it is a selfish love, that if for sure (if you all disappeared and a difference set of people allowed him to play each Sunday, he wouldn’t notice) – but it is immense. His otherworldly love for this game is the only possible explanation for how he takes so much shit from us and keeps plugging away. Week 14 was a testament to his drive. I mean, how many people can be told they SUCK at something by everyone over and over again and come out with confidence. I’m not joking – it’s remarkable! The only time I saw Rabin legit lose confidence was in the Croton League. Because that was not his home and he knew it. Jewball is his home. And it is where once a season, he does the impossible….
Week 14 Game 2 was the debut game for a new QB – and a sharp one at that – Yehuda Feit (nickname TBD, if any) came down. I recognized him. He did play in Croton when we played. I mean, he is legit certified QB meat. The guy is a great addition to our game. Welcome! Hopefully he sticks. On paper, this should have been an easy win. Again, no offense Rabin, but….y’know….I’ll leave it at that “No Offense Rabin.” The guy has a propensity for losing. What can I say? And Feit is a real QB. In all honesty, I put Yaron with Rabin thinking he would have to come in. I’m sorry, Rabin – I guess I should believe in you more? I don’t know, but either way – Yaron goes down….so it is all on Rabin – and while everyone else on the field might have seen that as a problem, Rabin would never.
The first sign of a Rabin quality game is that he does not look inept. What I mean by that is there are games where from the first set, it is like MAYDAY MAYDAY! Like ball is just not coming out right. Or a P6 on opening drive. Stuff like that. So, Rabin was not that version of himself on Sunday. So far so good. He learned some tricks I think from watching Yaron over the past two years. How to use screens and TEs to better affect. Calling a better running game. Keeping it safe and saving the long pass bullets when needed. I don’t remember the first TD, but he was using Prime well – Prime had some legs on Sunday and was doing his thing eating up the sideline. Feit had to learn the hard way that you don’t try to pull Prime’s flag on the sideline – waste of time. That stiff arm is fierce. I do remember a beauty of pass to Salem that was kind of like a wake up moment – showing that Rabin had something in the chamber on this day. BUT. BUT….we have seen this before. A 2-0 lead is not going to cut it for Rabin. We saw a 5-1 lead squandered earlier this season! 2-0 Rabin lead with an hour to play is nothing to worry about. Feit ran a really good huddle and his Colors squad knew it was only a matter of time. And that was the case. Rabin throws his first of 4 picks of the day – it is to Mo and it is a P6. The lead is cut in half. And the picks kept coming. The inevitable was happening. Jordan gets his hands on two tipped balls for interceptions and Feit starts to warm up. Over the middle leaping catch and run by Dobs. Score. Jordan screen with Beast lead blocking. Score. Beast with a pick. Goldberg with a TD. 4 unanswered points and the wheels have come off. Rabin is down 2 scores and his team is just about ready to hang their heads. As mentioned, one thing Rabin never loses is his confidence and spirit. He believes. And he pushes his team to as well – gotta give him that. So it begins with a Prime pick followed by a Prime catch and run 79 yards for a score with Jordan not being able to catch up. Then a Zada pick and Rabin orchestrates a drive that ends in a beautiful wheel route floater to Prime that goes over the defense and falls in perfectly to his awaiting arms in the endzone. Yikes. Tie game. (spoiler alert) Now, I can’t take anything away from Rabin because he won the game in the end, but Colors played soft down the final stretch. Not because they didn’t score – they would have, but they did not play like a team that wanted to win. It starts with a 3rd and long – and with Rabin under pressure and running away from Goldberg to the sideline – he releases a ball that was in the air for an eternity, but it somehow still manages to get to Ari for a huge first down. The drive kept alive, Rabin throws another floaty-ish pass to his TE, Solo over the middle. And there are defenders there. Tom kind of ducks away from the ball so it can get to the receiver. Goldberg kind of stops because I think he was confused by what Tom did. And Solo makes the catch and waltzes into the endzone. Bizarre. Rabin goes up 5-4. Colors gets a shot to tie the game and on 4th and 10, Feit hits an open Goldberg square in the chest. And Goldberg drops it. Maybe he was still thinking about Tom ducking. Anyway, Rabin wins the game, but Prime gets the Jewball for the 2 scores and pick. His skill matched Rabin’s will.
Feit, Yaron, Pray….heal!!!!
Who wants Week 15?

2/9/20

Week 15 Recap

On a bus from Jerusalem to Bet Shemesh so have some time.
Let’s see….Week 15….I had to set up the field because Yaron was injured and out, though he showed to observe, which was excellent. Setting up the field with the sun shining as Jewballers roll in – with the full potential of the Week bursting with promise. Nothing like that unknown. Who will win? Lose? Get hurt? Have the game of their lives? Its almost better than the game itself.
Forgot the other variable. Who wont show. That’s always been a Jewball question. Unfortunately….been Storm a bunch. Sorry, bud for the call out since I know how well meaning u are about the game. I know you don’t want to not show and be that guy…but it still is a killer. So Zada and Jordan who were prepared to line-battle wound up rotating in for Storm. Prager was looking to bounce back, but things only got worse for him on the day. He started the game well with a TD pass to Goldberg. So….Dark goes up 1…..wait…what? Goldberg dropped that ball? But it was right in his…oh, never mind. It was the Gronk and Mighty show in Game 1. Gronk, who never met a huddle he liked, is a good enough QB to see the whole in the zones and to just tear it apart. The simplicity with which he broke it down in Game 1 was infuriating. Personally, I bit on a screen to be beat over the top about 4 times. Anyway….the game was not close. Prager, who very well may be done for the season

played like a man hurt again. Although there were a few drops that stung him, he could not be his usual aggressive self and the long ball was not there for him. Deep passes fell short and were picked, making matters worse once his team went in a hole. Details are fuzzy but I believe it was a 5-2 finish with Mighty putting up 3. I’m giving Jewball to Mighty because although Gronk won the game and he really makes a big difference on defense (his flag pulling method of getting low is so unique and effective), but a QB needs to call plays to make every player on his team feel motivated and part of something. Its important. Yes, sure you can win without it. He did. But harder to get a Jewball.
Game 2 was a better game. Back and forth between Gronk and Mo – score for score the entire way through. Gronk and his team in Darm actually looked great the entire game, especially the tandem of Gronk and Vegh. That duo put up 4 TDs. Vegh could not be stopped. But Mo used his weapons well and moved the ball around just enough to keep Dark off balance. Screens to Zada and Prime moved the ball. A few cheats on the line left the long game open and Dark vulnerable to big plays. Twice Colors scored on tipped balls that should have been picked. With a tie score of 5-5 and no time on the clock, Prime gets in the open field and runs for 63 yards to win the game. His numbers once again get him a Jewball. Sorry for abbreviated recap but typing on bus making me nauseous. I guess teams tomorrow night since Game 1 seems to be in flux.

2/16/20

Week 16 Recap

Week 16 recap

Early game (credit steveo)

_Disclaimer: The writer assumes no responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions in the content of this recap. The information contained in this recap was provided by another source and is on an “as is” basis with no guarantees of completeness, accuracy, usefulness or timeliness. The writer’s memory was not set up for this so please understand. Thank you._

*WEEK 16, GAME 1 RECAP*

Unfortunately, we had to start with 6s and had a few stalled drives, but some good defense on both teams to start. Soon the 7s begin and Dark breaks out first with a TD deep to Salem on a 3rd and long. Gronk decided it was time to send his receivers right behind the coverage and try passing to wide open receivers, and it would have worked this time, but Wilmer was robbed of an open field reception, because of an over the line pass; lucky break dark. Gronk sticks with what works though, and he keeps finding the same holes in the broken D, and either has open men behind the zone or Dobs battling hard to bring in those receptions. Gronk responded with two scores (don’t remember who).
Munch and Kut were eating up the line and stopping backfield plays while dobs wasn’t letting anyone run past him breaking stiff arms and grabbing flags. Munch had four sacks. Dobs Had like 15 flag grabs all over the field.
Tabak dropped open over the shoulder TD pass, and Prime looking for stats tried snatching a TD from a teammate resulting in nothing. With the broken momentum Dark ties up with deep pass to Zada over a sleeping Gronk, with a catch that Zada was surprised he made. A beautiful ball just fell in the basket and he ran with it.
Munch being Munch, can’t let that be and goes beast mode catches goal line TD to go up 3-2. Zada doesn’t like that and makes an insane effort and goes up over Prime (or Vegh, depending who you ask) to grab a contested pass and Steve-O sets the downfield blocks and another big score to tie at 3.
Gronk and Co. responds by picking apart a man coverage with swing to Munch who went for 70 yards breaking all tackles and scoring. Terrible flag grabbing to go up 4-3. Time winding down, Dark comes up empty on a 4th and short from the 26, and on the next play the game is iced, as Vegh catches a deep pass on a dead defense

Game over 5-3 [Colors win]

_This part does not come from me so if you don’t agree or don’t care, just trash talk as usual but hate the players not the writer._

*Jewball* goes to Munch.
One may say Gronk deserved it with 5tds and 0 ints, or by the fact that he made up the time in the huddle so we can get a full game due to the late showers. The decision came to Munch because of his heart and skill on both sides of the ball. Two massive TD catches and game changing defensive plays with 4 sacks and 30 hurries. Completely disruptive keeping Dark from doing what they could have.

*Honorable mentions*
Kut with a few big catches and barreling through the D line. He also had a ridiculous flag pull on Yaron 30 yards down the field from behind, that surely saved a TD.

Another shout out to the quiet and possibly sober man, Dobs, who was the great wall of China on the field shutting it down on defense by grabbing flags and making plays. On offense he made some great plays in coverage and scored as well. (He doesn’t only score with Asian babes, he can score with Gronk too)

*Top plays:* Zada hauling in that first TD; Oren catching a pass; Dobs’ catch by the endzone and the fight in; Munch grabbing the ball from Salem to save his team and gaining big yards, Kut’s surprise grab on Jabroni; and Zada somehow ended up bleeding again.

_Yall need to come on time in the next few weeks, if its hard to get to the early game on time, sign up for the late game. If you can’t get to the late game on time, figure your stuff out. I know stuff comes up, everyone experiences it, at least let us know when you’re coming and try to be accurate. For those who make a longer trip out, kudos, just try to factor in traffic._

Late game (credit tom)

Yaron with edits by Tom

Game two was a solid battle. Young versus old, dark versus light. Yaron versus fiet. An injury from the start struck fear in in team fiet. Tomaz out, enter munch, he had a jammed wrist but the only sign was that he preferred the weak side which means more bruises on your left side for those who went against him.

Dobs got the scoring started with a td 1-0 fiet. an Interception by Yaron, led to a td to Ari over zada (cue the Ari – Yaron duo , as They have 12 td passes between them this season) Rumors are that Solo feels betrayed, by yaron. they will be working that out in marriage therapy this week. Yarons defense “I was thinking of you when it happened” but I digress.

Feit was slinging it eating the middle of field with gronk and Goldberg.

Team Fiets d was relentless dobs mark zada grabbing flags. Pressure up front. In honer of kosher fest gronk and Goldberg were wetting everyone’s pallets and yaron undies with blitz packages that stalled the offense for the first half of the game. barking out pizza elephant salmon, solo..

Feit goes up 2-1 with a long bomb to Goldberg who turned on the jets. Next possession for fiet: Yaron reads the play and jumps the pass for a p6 and the game was tied at 2-2. A few stalled drives later and Gronk did his best impersonation of marshowm lynch. Barreling over multiple defenders on his way to a td. Next drive yaron hit Ari for his second td of the game. Solo said he’s done pretending that what they had together was special. “You just give it up for anyone, plus I’m pretty sure he’s a minor” game tied 3-3. “Jewball friend” aka BF helps dark take the lead only to have fiet to zada for his league leading 22nd td and we are tied up again at 4.

With about 5 min left team yaron looking to take the lead, swing out to Dante who stuff-armed feit into the bleachers and is GONE for TD- WAIT tom out of NOWHERE dives from behind like a humpback whale feeding and comes up with arguably(really Yaron ?! This is arguable?) the play of the game saving a td. To put the finishing touches on the drive Tom gets the sack on 4th down and we are in overtime. One possession each for the game.

After another lynch like yards after catch for Gronk and a key first down by Goldberg. Another catch and run for gronk brings the ball to the 2 yard line. On fourth down feit to zada who wrestled with Vegh on a great pass and catch effort and it’s 5-4 fiet. One more shot for yaron and, dobkin who played like a beast once again gets a hand on a pass launching the ball in the air, landing in Zada’s hands to seal the game, Zadda does the classy thing and takes a knee and it’s the end of a great game.

JB to feit for leading the comeback, solid drives and calling good plays, Tom joins the kut petition for jewbals for impact performance but no-one listens.

2/22/20

Week 17 Recap

Jewball week 17 recap. (By Yaron with color commentary by Kut)
As I sit here with an ice pack on each knee and both ankles taped up, I realize two things, one; I’m out of shape and should not be playing more than one game on Sunday. Two; Game 1 is better than game 2. (Actually, was discussing this with fellow Jewballers during the week. A few reasons were proposed and would be a good discussion over some brews and wings) (Not to be confused with the fabled and mythical Jewball BBQ) Week 17 was another perfect example of this.
If there is one thing, we can be grateful for, the weather on Sunday’s has been unnatural. This week was no exception, bright and sunny morning starting at 35 Degrees and warming up to 50 by the time Game 2 rolled around. In shocking news, everyone who signed up, showed up. John made sure to sleep on the field over night so as not to put his Jewball career in question. And even though he was only supposed to play game two, he ended up subbing in for an injured Salem. (Feel better bro)
Game 1 started kinda on time with Gronk leading Dark (Except Mighty in pink) vs Yaron and Colors. Gronk, in his usual manner made sure his team had several film sessions and was able to audible at the line every single play. “Same play Same play” is the equivalent of Payton manning and “Omaha Omaha”.
Yaron takes ball first, lining up with Salem, Beast, Singer, Tom, prime and Goldberg and almost immediately overthrows tom and leads to a Mighty Pick. Just a few plays later and Gronk, lining up with Rabin, Vegh, Mighty, Solo, Ari and Kut, hits Solo at TE for his first TD.
Yaron gets the ball back, finds a hole in the defense and hits Singer for a long catch and run which would’ve ended in a TD, but Mighty would not have this happen on his watch and chases down Singer for a TD saving flag pull at the 30. A few plays later, colors manage to score anyway. Tie game.
Not to be out done, Gronk marches down the field and finds mighty for TD #2.
Yaron takes the ball and manages to put together a decent drive, 3rd and short, pass to Goldberg, Mighty reads it from a mile away and has his second pick of the day. Couple of stalled drives going both ways. Yaron, feeling the pressure from Solo and Kut, is unable to covert on some key plays. Gronk getting pressured as well, colors sending in 3 at the line and things slow down for a bit. Yaron finally puts together a consistent drive and is able to find Prime deep in the endzone.
Gronk takes the ball again and find himself with a 2nd and short at the 36 and decides to use this opportunity as a free play. His lineman made one request, “Don’t throw a pick”, but Gronk being Gronk lofts one in the air for Singer to easily grab and come down with his first pick of the day. Yaron takes the ball, tosses a nice screen to Prime who does the cha cha down the field and coupled with a bunch of stiff arms, takes it to the house. Colors up 3-2.
With extra motivation and a quick read of the poor defense, Gronk finds Mighty downfield for a beautiful pass and a TD. Tie game.
Next drive, ball moves well, 4th and long, Dark defense misses flags and allows Yaron to run 30 yards for TD number 4 and the lead. But, Yaron and Prime aren’t the only ones who can run. With the grace and whimsy of a ballerina, Solo takes a short pass and somehow manages to stay on his feet, juking from side to side, letting out spurts of air which can only be compared to air brakes on a semi-truck, causing countless missed flags and tackles, he manages to run 75 yards and get his 2nd TD of the day. Tie Game once again.
Welcome to OT! (No one wants to end in a tie) (Slackers from game 2 are nowhere to be found)
With what seems to be great ease, Gronk once again drives down the field, not only is his play calling and passing game solid, he put up quite a few drive saving runs, and this final drive was no different. On 3rd and short for the game winning TD, Gronk feels the pressure on the line and tries to lob one to Kut in the end zone, but it’s too short and just before it hits the ground, Yaron, being driven by his losing streak, calls upon his Flash-like speed and manages to pick it off. Colors feeds off this energy and works their way down the field. Marching towards the endzone, they looked poised to win. 3rd and 7, perfect pass by Yaron to Goldberg, being tightly covered by Ari. Game over! But wait, Goldberg couldn’t hold on, hell he didn’t even try to hold on, went right through his hands. 4th and 7, Yaron draws up the perfect play, he rolls to his right, receivers are open, he pulls back and releases the perfect spiral only to have it completely obliterated and batted down by Kut on the line. (His 2nd batted ball, for those keeping track)
With a new motivation, Gronk takes over and once again wills his way down the field, twice running and squirming to get the first downs. He has his new-found favorite receiver, (nope, not Vegh, Sruls just wasn’t getting it done,) Rabin!! He’s making catches like he’s 19 again. Once again, Gronk finds himself in the red zone. After 3 attempts, he makes it to the 7-yard line. Colors has been waiting for this moment and blitzes 4, but they made that crucial mistake and left Mighty wide open in the back left of the end zone. Gronk reads the defense perfectly and gently lofts one to Mighty for the win!! Final Score 5-4 Dark.
Was a very solid game, though some key players were missing, J, you’re missed. Solid defense, good battles on the line, and nice-looking drives. As Jordan has said many a time, Jewball is successful, not only because of the guys that are committed to it, but also because of the talent that comes down to the field each week. Week 17 was a good one.
Jewball to Gronk for his excellent game plan execution, his ability to get all his teammates involved, and his ability to run the ball and keep the drives alive.
Honorable mentions: Mighty, for being Mighty and consistently bringing it every week. Solo, for his 2 TD’s and impressive ballet moves.
Sacko to Goldberg for his key dropped passes. Very unlike him, hopefully this award will encourage him to be just a bit better.

Game 2A recap. Kut comes back to play for injured Salem.
Yaron and Gronk play catch for about 45 minutes. Colors wins 4-1.
Jewball to gronk for 2 passing TD’s, 2 receiving TD’s and 2 picks.
Sacko to Rabin for overthrowing Goldberg multiple times.
Game 2B, Gronk and Kut switch teams. Good game. Gronk and Rabin team up again for an incredible duo. Its as if every play, Rabin gets open makes the catch and gets yards. Gronk maintains his usual game calling and everyones on the same page. Yaron, is finally clicking with his team and there are good drives both ways. Gronk and dark ends up winning again 4-3.
Notable moments: Prime stiffarming yaron into another dimension to get his first TD. (Prime actually stopped, pointed and laughed at Yaron on the floor)
Solo getting his first pick in Jewball (off a tipped ball by Beast at the line.)
Controversial call of the game: Johnny Storm making the catch and flying 80 yards for a TD, only to be called back by Gronk. Seems that John was holding his flag even after it was pulled.
Last and most memorable play of the game: Courtney storming onto the field ready to kill Prime. His only saving grace, catching the game winning TD.
Jewball to Gronk, once again for willing his team to win, making Rabin feel like a million bucks, and keeping the drives alive

3/1/20

Week 18 Recap

WEEK 18
As momentum builds toward the first Vets Rooks doubleheader in Jewball history, we can reflect on how the game has changed in recent years. Whether we like stats or not, the game has and continues to evolve. Generally, one aspect of the evolution that people seem to like is that there is more football. The week in and out double header has been taken for granted as normal. It allows guys to play more games. It allows more guys to play. But, at the same time, we have recognized that Game 2 is often – for no great reason – a less compelling game. It is played and played hard, but it just doesn’t have the heat of Game 1. Week 18 felt like a throwback…and I did not mind it at all. One game. One glorious game. And with one game, the stakes felt higher and the effort felt more intense. And it went down to the wire.
The Gronk v. Yaron premiere matchup went into its 4th week in a row with Gronk having come on the Jewball scene late this year, but making a tremendous impact on the landscape. All he seems to do is win and rack up Jewballs. But would it continue? He was off to a bad start. Mainly because he was nowhere to be found. On a cold morning with a stinging wind whipping the flags at Lawrence High School into a frenzy, the game started at 10 after 8am, and Dark’s QB was messaging in that he was on his way. Luckily, Dark had Prager on the roster and a 6 on 6 ensued. As always by league rule (actually, just because Bron wants it that way) Bron and Colors takes ball first. That would be Yaron, Storm, Prime, Solo, Mighty, Tom, and Vegh. They face off against Prager, Jordan, Singer, Goldberg, Kut, Rabin, and Gronk. Until Gronk arrived, Tom froze his ass off on the sideline (Gronk, buy him a drink). Neither team scored on their first possession, but Prager drove the entire field only to stall in Colors’ red zone. Yaron took the ball and picked on Jordan for a bit by running screens his way and Jordan failed to seal the sideline allowing for big gains by Prime and Storm. That drive was capped by a 15 yard dart to Storm in back of the endzone to put Colors up 1-0. Gronk came in and immediately tied it up by locating Prager way behind the defense. One move on the safety and we were even at 1s. At that point the battle intensified and, although both teams had plenty of miscues, the qualitative feel of the game’s action was high level. Storm with a sliding catch for a 1st down. Jordan with a catch on the outside and being punished by Mighty on the sideline. Solo sacking Gronk in the backfield on a 3rd and goal from the 4 (after a bomb to Singer and chase-down by Prime). Goldberg batting down ball after ball. Both teams were allowing positive moments for the other, but neither gave up the big play. And when the big play might have happened, the unforced errors crept into the game. Rabin, going 180 from the prior week, let his QB down on a few occasions, including a shifty ball that hit his fingertips in the endzone. Meanwhile, Yaron was missing his open receivers on the out and ups. The wind carried a few balls just a bit too far preventing Storm and Prime from hauling them in to perhaps give Colors a one score edge. But eventually Yaron threw a ball so hard that neither the wind, nor Jordan’s leap and fingernail could alter its trajectory. Targeting Mighty in full stride down the sideline, Yaron evades pressure, spins around on the opposite side of the field, and uncorks one. It cuts through the wind like an arrow and hits Mighty with no one between him and the endzone. 2-1 Colors at the half. The war of attrition continues throughout the 3rd quarter. Prime chops Singer in the neck. Jordan dives for a flag pull on Mighty. Yaron runs for a first down. Gronk to Goldberg to move the chains. And in a defensive play for the ages that separates the boys and men in this league, Prime steals a TD from Dark. Straight up grand larceny in the ednzone. Gronk sends Prager on a slant into the endzone from the 7 and all is executed to perfection. Prager is double covered by Mighty and Prime. Prime in the middle and Mighty trailing. But, in his infuriatingly effortless style, Gronk rears back and places one right in between both defenders. The ball is in Pragers hands as he glides into the middle of the endzone. Boys would have accepted this fate. Mighty and Prime are men. Mighty crashes into Prager jostling the ball and Prime reaches in to Prager’s grip and yanks the ball free before Parger’s feet are settled. The ball is momentarily in the air before Prime swoops in to pick it. As game changing a play as you will see!
Finally, as the 4th quarter begins, Gronk playcalls to the left side – presume a two man team will find a hole in the defense. One short one long. Someone has got to be open. Jordan is going short and Prager is going long. And once again it is Prager behind the defense! Gronk uses his cannon and puts a ball in Prager’s chest (careful to avoid the wrist) and the score is once again tied. Ten minutes left in regulation. Yaron orchestrates a steady drive throwing the ball underneath, but with 5 minutes left in the game and under pressure (managing to avoid a second Kut almost-sack on the right hash) Bron slings a ball to Vegh cutting in the back of the endzone and Colors takes the very late lead 3-2. 3 minutes later Gronk is down to his last possession. The man who has won his last 3 games and racked up 3 Jewballs in the process is in do or die mode. On 1st down from his 30 he hits a streaking wide open Jordan at Colors’ 40 and it looks like this could tie it up. But Jordan tries to adjust the ball too soon and the result is a drop. 2 plays later it is 4th and long and the odds of Dark winning are infinitesimal. That is when the unbelievable happened. Scrambling to his right with Solo on his heels, Gronk turns and fires as he is ought to do. An inexplicable cross the body, cross the field prayer. Almost like a no-look pass in basketball, but this is like a no-look hail Mary. But this ball has jets on it and apparently a GPS as well. It slams into Goldberg right in the middle of the field who is position a few steps in front of the first down marker – Goldberg makes the catch in some traffic….and the drive is alive! The game is alive! One play later…..Kut and Jordan get behind the defense on the right side of the field and Gronks lofts a beautiful ball to Kut that is just picture perfect and Kut reels it in, no problemo. Kut shuffles his feet backwards a few steps and he is into pay dirt. Game is tied as time expires!!!
But no one wants to end in a tie! Even though Mighty, Rabin, and Yaron have to go…..Mighty and Rabin do go and we play on at 6s to determine a winner. Each team will get one possession. Yaron drives his team to midfield, but then disaster strikes. In what I believe was a pick free day for Yaron until that point, Colors selects an inopportune time to gaffe it up. On a TE leak out, Yaron tosses a slightly high but eminently catchable ball to Solo, who promptly pops it up in the air instead of bringing it in – and Gronk is right there with the interception – and a short field. The worst Dark can do now is tie. But the win is right there for the taking. But things do not go Dark’s way. A short run, a sack, and an incompletion result in a 4th and goal 25 yards from the endzone. The huddle is brief. Singer has been here before. Everyone almost anticipates the next three words that emanate from his lips. As if they are not a play call but a prophecy. “Hook and ladder.”
The defense is playing back because it is TD or nothing. This gives Dark room to operate. Singer pops out about ten yards and gets a nice pass from Gronk. Jordan darts from the slot toward Singer as the defense begins to close in on the ball. Singer tosses it back. Jordan has 17 yards between him and the right pile-on. Singer immediately turns around and starts wrecking people. Pushing them back, clearing space, giving Jordan room to advance but the chances of getting all the way seem remote. 10 yards to go. Gronk sees an opportunity and starts cutting down the middle of the field – calling for the ball. He is uncovered. A toss back to him might work! The defense now needs to account for that and cannot focus entirely on the ball carrier. Now Jordan passes his lead blocker Singer and there are 8 yards to go. All of a sudden Singer is also an option for a lateral and the defense needs to account for him. The defense is non-committal to Jordan and with some small lateral fakes, Jordan keeps them that way. With 5 yards to go it is time to pull the trigger. The defense is all in on Jordan now and will not let him score. As Prime is about to end the game in a tie, Jordan flips to Singer. who is at the 4….and Singer does his imitation of a bulldozer ballerina and spins into the endzone! Dark wins!!!! An improbable comeback win!
Jewball is tough this week because really everyone on Dark did something. And….no one played perfectly. Prager and Goldberg and Singer had incredible games in terms of stats. Jordan and Kut had their moments but also didn’t come through at other times. Gronk the same…and he came late. Which is egregious. Trust me, I don’t want to give him the Jewball. But I have to. Because he was the MVP for Colors. The pass to Goldberg on 4th and 30 to keep the game going was absurd! Add to that all the passes that were scores and dropped. He was the superior QB on the day and he willed his team to a victory. Jewball to Gronk.
Now, looking forward to Vets Rooks this Sunday! Hope everyone is in communication with their Captains and know which game they are playing in. Be early! We have a guy filming this Sunday….so look good out there! Thank you, Steveo, for finding the guy. A lot on the line this Sunday and the weather looks amazing. In a world going mad…..Jewball is our island of sanity. God Bless us all.

3/8/20

Week 19 – Vets vs. Rooks

These are dark times. We have canceled games for many reasons over the years. Ice, rain, snow, and –more often than not – a glaring lack of interest in playing. We have never canceled for a pandemic. And that is a possibility for Week 20 of this otherwise sparkling season. Though I am still unsure about our next game, I am damn sure about our last one.
The 2020 version of our annual Vets Rooks royal rumble was unique and memorable in so many ways. Yes, we have recaps of many of them from years past and they all stand out in one way or another, but last Sunday had so much to offer that it just feels like it floats to the top. Let’s start with the players. Talent comes and goes in our league. Talent is also relative. What we maybe once would have deemed a star Jewballer, would be role player now. No, I’m not talking about PJs. He was always destined for the bench. Just kidding! You started this (also, knocking Goldberg out is the highlight of the Teaser vid). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again now – the Golden Age was a ton of fun, but we weren’t very good at football. We were pretty good. Marino had an arm, but otherwise we were just messing around. And it was beautiful. The Renaissance introduced guys like Snow, Mighty, Singer, and some guys who played in competitive games and it was like…WOW….so that’s football too. Huh? And their introduction to our game helped us all evolve. Some people liked the change to a better game – some people saw it as a corruption. I always felt that the key to survival was good football. So far, the formula is working. Which brings me to The Revolution. Which is the present. And Vets Rooks in the Revolution is – though still Vets Rooks and still Jewball – when broken down – just a highly competitive game featuring a ton of talent. I remember the Vets Rooks game when it was The Golden Age crew (Yoni, Joey, Rabin, Doggy, Klink, Ike, BD, Jordan, etc.) against the Renaissance guys (Zez, Mighty, Socks, Elisha, PJs, etc.) I mean…..we got destroyed. It was hardly a game. It was like Ford v. Ferrari, but without the fairytale ending. Was a massacre. For so many years, though I hyped Vets Rooks like The Greatest Showman, and though Rabin and B-sh and BD and most of all Evan always sincerely though we could win, I knew we couldn’t. We were slow. We were delusional. We were a bunch a linemen and Tight Ends trying to play zone coverage against kids. But, I look at last Sunday – where a mix of Silver Age, Renaissance and Dark Age players took on the current batch of Rooks….and what strikes you is, to use an NFL term, the parity. The evolution is noted. The evidence that better football has crept into the DNA of our game is witnessed by the miracle that is the Vets beating the Rooks two years in a row. Once upon a time the Silver Age beat the Golden Age, and that was because the Silver Age were semi-athletic and in their late 20s and the Golden Age were a bunch of stoners in beanies and cargo pants. But since that time – which was around 2006 – the Vets have lost and lost and lost. Last year, in a fierce battle that went down to the wire, the Vets won. It took the game of his life by Steveo, Munch to become an offensive and defensive juggernaut, and finally for Zez to bring his team all the way back of the brink in his patented Zez never-say-die fashion. Then Zez moved to Israel. So, this year, with the Rooks only getting better, Rabin – the Vet of all Vets – was asked to step in at QB and pull of the first repeat in Vets Rooks history.
Besides a virus taking over our feeds and the devastating news that Yaron had to opt out, the week leading up to Vets Rooks could not have gone better. Steveo got us a cameraman. The weather was going to be sensational. The Vets and Rooks were coming out of the woodwork looking to observe our most sacred of holidays. The Vets looked #stacked and the Rooks looked #stacked. It would be a contest that would elicit some trash talk, but none of that would matter come Sunday morning. Like all things Jewball – the matter at hand would be settled on the field over the course of 3 hours – the longest single game in Jewball history.

Vets took ball first and the air quickly flew out of the balloon. With a line of Munch and Kut, and receiving corps of Mighty, Singer, Steveo, and Jordan, Rabin looked a bit unsure of himself and the Vets did not advance. That is not to say that the Rooks defense was anything but formidable. Vegh, Logan, Gronk, Beast, Zada, Goldberg, Storm, Prime, Eddie, Sam….these guys can play – they are tough, aggressive, hungry – they pull flags – they have the winning mentality. But you notice one name missing. A game changing name. Solo. Or as Yaron calls him, Steven. Or when Yaron thinks of him . Solo, the biggest, quickest lineman Jewball has ever seen – someone who could alter the outcome of any game he plays – did not show up. The game went on, but the Rooks of 2020 can always wonder what might have been. As if the stakes were not high enough, Mighty begins the game by reminding everyone that Vets Rooks is no ordinary affair. On that initial fruitless drive, after a fruitless carry and smothering by the Rooks, Mighty turns and takes a swing at Vegh – maybe even connecting. Gronk, enters the fray and knocks Mighty over sending the spry Veteran tumbling backwards. Order is restored and apologies are offered and accepted, but damn….the heat is on.
For the next half hour both teams exhibited their defensive prowess and neither QB really made a great showing. Rabin was Rabin, but not throwing picks which was really helpful. Gronk was a tad off and his receivers dropped a few early ones making matters worse. Close to the end of the first hour, the Vets struck. It took another Mighty altercation to get the Vets jumpstarted. On a Mighty QB option fifteen yards from the 1st down marker, Mighty takes off down the sideline – evades a few defenders using Singer blocks – and then right at the marker, he gets clotheslined by Logan. Logan ‘s real name is Ari (I think). He earned the nickname Logan – much like Mighty – after a game, maybe two. That is a rare occurrence. It was clear from the beginning. He plays with reckless abandon and with the viciousness of the Wolverine. And that is how he went at Mighty in that moment. It’s legitimately dangerous. Yes, part of us loves to watch it. But also – we can’t have it. We all need to go home in one piece. Mighty was hurt and hobbled, but he walked it off. Every time he touched the ball for the rest of the game, he kicked it into gear, but he was not the same. In between plays he was limping. Following the near brawl, Rabin launches one to the middle of the field – where Singer makes his money – and Singer hauls one in to get the Vets within 18 yards of the endzone. In what is assuredly the oldest and most prolific QB/WR combination in Jewball history, Rabin swings one out to Jordan on the wing with Singer blocking. In almost the exact same location Jordan and Singer won the game a week earlier, Jordan flies down the sideline, but this time does not flip the ball back to Singer. He keeps it and bounces into the endzone. Vets up 1-0!
The Vets were able to celebrate for a short while, but the injuries started piling up. Mighty needed a break, then Singer needed a breather. Munch was exhausted as well. That trio was crucial to the Vets’ chances and it was disheartening to see them heading to the sidelines. But, it seemed they would power through and give their Vet brothers whatever they had. Still, with their absence, the Rooks would take advantage. Gronk started the crony fueled drive with a 20 yard strike to a crossing Vegh, followed up with a screen to Prime, and then another 20 yard dash. The big man punched in with Goldberg on the slant and just like that the score was tied. Based on the ease with which the Rooks scored, doubt crept into minds of every Vet, though none spoke of it. Their confidence was still very high. But they knew they needed to answer back and quickly. Even the slightest lead by the Rooks would fuel them and demoralize the Vets. Rabin decided it was a good time to put together his best drive of the game. It starts with 30 yard strike to PJs at midfield, which pumped up the crowd. A play later it is Singer on a wheel route and a perfectly placed ball on the right hash to get the Vets in the redzone. The entirely successful drive is capped by a screen to Mighty with some exquisite blocking by Singer and Steveo sending Rooks flying and dash to the endzone – Mighty scores, Vets take a slim lead of 2-1. And things would only get better for the Vets. With relentless line pursuit from Munch and Kut, Gronk was having an impossible time making plays stick. Every other snap seemed to result in a sack or a forced throw. And finally, one was forced just a bit too much and Singer was there to P6 it and give the Vets what felt like a nice cushion going into halftime. At the half Vets 3-Rooks 1.
Going into the second half, the Vet injuries were piling up. Besides the hobbled Mighty, Singer, and Munch, PJs tweaked something during the epic drive that he started started and even Rabin needed a set on the sidelines. They had a 2 TD lead, but could they hold on? Things did not start off well. On the first drive of the half, Rabin called Jordan’s number on an out and up, but Logan played off from go and did not bite on the fake. Instead he backed up and picked one at the Rookie 15 yard line. Although the Rookie drive stalled, the pick by Logan was a foreshadow of dangers to come. Rabin showed himself a warrior by guiding his team through the second half, but the sharpness that was on display in the first half was gone. He would be asked to manage the game not make critical mistakes. But one came. From the Vets 20, Rabin floats a dangerous pass and Logan is there to intercept and run it right up the gut to bring the Rooks back from the edge. It was the only score of the 3rd quarter, but it was a momentum changer. Going into the final quarter the Vets held on to a slim 3-2 lead.
By the 4th Quarter, Jewballers had been battling for over 2 hours. While exhaustion had not set in and the energy level was high with so much on the line, focus was waning and it lead to a flurry of late scores. It started with perhaps a tactical error by Gronk. With a half hour left and some pressure to make the late run he is famous for, Gronk and the Rooks went for it on a 4th and 7 and did not make it. The turnover gave the Vets a short field and Rabin got exactly what he needed. A simple out to MK and a missed flag by Storm yielded a surprisingly simple TD. After every score on the day being really hard fought, it was amazing to score with some ease. The cushion was back, but it felt like a gift. The fact that MK scored it turned out to be quite apropos, as the Veteran who likes to pass himself off as a Rook would become a lockdown force on defense down the stretch and – even with limited playing time – put himself in the running for Jewball. With two minutes left, Vets 4- Rooks 2.
Gronk was not out of tricks. With the big O showing up in his suit and adding to the already strong Rooks line play, the Rooks needed to change their game plan. They simply were unable to establish a real passing game. They began using the underneath stuff effectively. Dumping balls to Eddie and Beast when the defense was playing back got things going. Now, having to cheat in, the deep stuff returned. One such ball was a sure touchdown, but Tom got in the way just enough to cause Eddie to drop the rock. Another was an sideline gem to Prime that was over Jordan and hugged the line before Singer could get over. Prime reached out beyond the sideline and dragged his feet and hauled it in. Unbelievable Prime Time catch. It surely made his mentor Sam proud. It also lead to a Vegh score with 10 minutes left. Vets were hanging on, but by a thread. Vets 4-Rooks 3.
The ensuing Vet drives showed that Rabin did not have much left in the tank. It was evident that the defense would need to make the 4 scores stand and keep the Rooks off the board for the remaining few minutes of the game. And that’s when a beautiful thing happened. Gronk had the ball at the Vets 10 and his winning streak was on everyone’s mind. I mean, this guy does not seem to lose and he loves the late comeback. The Vets were engaged but weary. Only MK, Kut, and Steveo seemed to be at full power on defense. That left a lot of holes. Gronk starts of the drive as he is apt to do with a cross to Goldberg. A nice cut, a money pass, and a catch. Goldberg picks up a promising 10 yards on first down, but he won’t get anymore, because MK is draped all over him. But, wait….was that a catch or is the ball still moving? It is! MK is all over Goldberg and making sure his arms can’t secure the ball! Goldberg bobbles it once. He bobbles it twice. It is about to fall back into his hands – and here comes Mighty from the opposite side swiping the ball out of the air!!!! One cut! A cut back! A spin move into the endzone!!! Just when the Vets needed it most, a P6! Vets with a two TD lead with only minutes left!!! Vets 5-Rooks 3.
Of course the game was not over. The Vets had almost nothing left, but were feeling good about their chances. Perhaps playing a little loose, it was Eddie – the oldest Rookie of all time – showing the Vets that the game isn’t over until the final buzzer. Pops proceeds to take the ball at the Vet 15, juke Jordan with a move from 1985, and race 63 yards downfield to set the Rooks up for a score. A score that he very shortly punches in! Yikes! It’s final possessions time and Rooks are trailing by a score. The Vets can win it with a TD. The Rooks can tie the score and keep the damn thing going. They get the stop.
Then they march to midfield. 50 more yards and we would go into an overtime that would certainly favor the Rooks. But Munch, Kut, and MK made sure that overtime would not happen. A sack and a batted ball by MK on a 4th and long puts a nail in this one. Vets win! Vets win! Two in a row! Next year they go for the 3peat! Yaron and Gronk’s last Rookie season – should be interesting!
Vets celebrate on the field to cheers of DOH-MA! DOH-MA! DOH-MA! Two days later, the world shuts down. Rabin must know some powerful people.
So, who gets the MVP of this one? Not easy at all. The candidates are: Rabin – the QB. He made a few huge plays that were not basic. If he had relied on screens, sweeps, and handoffs alone, the Vets would not have won. It was that second scoring drive that was so needed when the game was 1-1…and it was all on precision long throws. Singer – He did everything. And he did it like a lion. He scored, he set up scores, he made big yard plays. He brings energy and heart to every moment of every game. Munch – I should give it to him. I really should (which tells you it is not going there). If this was classic MVP, he would probably get it, because although I can’t see what is going on line all game – he was all over Gronk. He gave him not time to think or throw. Munch is our voice of reason. He is our muscle. He is our enforcer. I only wish Solo came down, so Munch would have had the challenge he deserved on a such a huge day. MK – As mentioned before. The late flurry of STATS! A score, forcing a pick, tons of flag grabs, and that final batted ball. He felt like he was everywhere at the end of that game, bailing out the Vets when they needed it most. Which brings us to the man I am giving it to: Mighty – the man who came out swinging from the start. Although stat-wise the game was pedestrian for him, 2 TDs and a pick, but he took two hits early and a few late. He could hardly move. The only that seemed to keep him going was his hunger for the ball. Between plays he was barely holding it together. Once the ball was snapped, he was on fire. And if Rabin gave him the damn ball, it was like being shot with a mixture of cortisone and caffeine. All the Vets showed grit, but I think Mighty showed the most. He got rammed by Gronk, decapitated by the Wolverine, and body slammed by Storm, but he kept on popping up and fighting. He has more fight in him than any Jewballer I have ever seen. In a class of many worthy candidates, he gets the 2020 Vets Rooks Jewball.
See y’all whenever this virus lets up. Week 20 will be played and we will meet again on the field of battle. Stay safe, Jewballers.

6/21/20

2019-2020 Season Recap + Week 20

Another Jewball season in the books.
There is nothing like starting a season. With its rabid anticipation and warm returns to family and familiarity. There is nothing like being in the heart of the season. Settling into the routine of week in and out action and comradery and feeling like it will be this way forever. There is nothing like the tail-end of a season. Trying to hold on and make it last even as the melancholy sets in – knowing that nothing lasts beyond its expiration date. And, finally, there is nothing like a season being over. A chance to look back, appreciate what was – seeing the full picture. Gaining the perspective of near omnipotence – what unfolded, how it unfolded, maybe even sometimes understanding why. Who came into our lives. Who disappeared. What storylines dominated then dissipated. What stuck. What happened that was predictable. What happened that was entirely unexpected. Were we blessed or cursed this past year? Did we live up to those opening day expectations? Do we feel more or less connected to the game and our brothers who play it? Have our loyalties deepened? Do we see ourselves playing onward? If so – for how long?
These are all post-season contemplations. And, although there are no games to be played – and that stings – there is a poetry in processing a season as a whole.
We have always (pretty much) had the recaps. Going back fifteen years. I have been blessed to write most of them. I have been blessed to have some of you write some of them. I understand the recaps are integral to Jewball. May I one day regain the creativity and humor and spirit I once had to write them as I did back in the Golden Age. May I one day meet Singer’s lofty expectations! Yes, we once had a website, but it was nothing compared to what we have now. So, when I say there is a beauty in seeing the season as a whole – that is conceptual. We look back now and see a season in our vivid memories – fresh and vibrant. We tell the tales of 2019-2020. The midseason wave of Gronk. The opening day in Lynbrook with Flash. Snow and Jesus returning. Beast scoring on and off the field. We can’t believe there was Jewball before Dobs, Storm, Pray, Mo….doesn’t it seem like they have always been with us? Maybe they have. Maybe that’s how it works. We are simply tapping into a life force that once was – in another time and dimension – and the game is just drawing us back to that source – connecting those who were always connected, just didn’t know it in this form. Maybe. Sometimes it feels like it.
What I am getting to is our website. Yes, I know….to talk about websites is like talking about something from the Paleolithic Era – like blackberries and two hand touch. No one deems websites cutting edge anymore. They are the opposite. BUT….for our purposes – what we have done with it this season – what it holds for us – its existence is priceless. It represents a vision of that eternal source we spoke of earlier. So, although it seems like a million years ago when it was introduced, it was in fact this season. I thank Yaron once again for all his contributions to our game – and the evolution we have experienced. There has never been a better way to truly behold ALL the majesty of Jewball. Between the old recaps, pictures, bios, and many brilliant features (thank you Kut and Steveo!)…Jewball has a home that can be revisited anytime from anywhere. And, see….I didn’t even mention stats.
But, stats were part of the storyline this season, and so let’s get to Week 20.
Week 20 was a long time coming. Not our fault. If we flashback to Week 19, the season had just come off an epic Vets Rooks battle and was looking to bring another STRONG season in for a landing. Rumors about the virus were circulating. Some people were sick. Gronk was OUT! We were hoping to get Week 20 in. We even had a post Week 20 game planned. The first ever Father-Son Old Timers Day. May we have it in the near future! Vets were talking DOMA. This was early March. Then everything closed (even DOMA!).
I remember that first Sunday without a game. Yaron and I met up and threw the ball around at Woodmere Middle School with our kids. What would be? The signs were ominous. The news was hazy, but storm clouds were gathering. The virus was about to take over our lives.
Rabin got sick. He got tested. He had it. Beast reported a close friend died. A guy my age in North Woodmere passed away – also a friend. The number of cases and deaths and general terror was just increasing by the day. We all locked ourselves away and went into self-preservation mode. The chat was quiet, but we were still there for each other. As best we could be.
At that time – March turned into April – and I don’t think anyone would have dreamed that we would be writing a season recap this summer. There would have been an asterisk on the season. Marked incomplete. 19 Weeks and 3 Bowl Games. By Dark Age standards….an incredible fete! But since the Revolution (aka last year), less than 20 would be a letdown.
In May, things started to point in a positive direction. Cases down, hospitalizations down. New York was either flattening the curve or the virus was simply moving on after kicking our asses. And so as Long Island began phasing into re-opening, we tested the waters. We played. We came back home. We reunited. For many of us it was the first “social” activity in months. And doesn’t that make sense? Our “lives” were contained and restrained due to the virus – making it impossible to do the things we live for. So when that cracked open window of opportunity presented itself – Jewballers made the decision easy (however reckless : ) We took a chance – but not frivolously as some might argue – we took a chance and got back to doing exactly what we live for. Life without Jewball is not a life!
And although on the field is where we make our living, the end of year return to “normal” was highlighted by DOMA and a gathering of Veterans like has never been seen since Game Night 2010. Thank you Rabin for that shining moment.
In the year 2020, Week 20 was played on Father’s Day, June 21st. There had never before been a Jewball game played in the month of June – naturally. It was over 80 degrees and water breaks were not (really) frowned upon. The early game got underway close to on-time on a shortened field due to soccer (two Jewballers in that game btw – neither of them Legs). It was a very apropos 2020 matchup of Yaron v. Pray. A matchup that really defined our season – like Yaron v. Gronk did last season. As we all know, Prager (aka Pringle aka Pray) made his debut this season – and what a welcome revelation he has been. Really, everything you look for in a Jewballer. From real skills to stone cold commitment to winning demeanor to gamer attitude. May he one day feast amongst the Veterans. He started off the season on fire. He made Yaron his bitch in every way possible way. Yaron would leave the field each week whining and crying and making excuse after excuse. He looked washed up! Done! (Just kidding, Brony – this is called fan service). But he did beat Yaron a lot early on. The arm was strong and accurate. The defense was fierce. Like his mentor, Ivan Drago, Prager was a machine. But, Yaron would not allow himself to be vanquished. Even before the injury that effectively took Prager out of his QB role until Week 20, Yaron got his groove back. Going into Week 20 – without checking – their head to head matchups were close to even.
On this final day of the season, Prager in Colors lined up with Mighty, PJs, Prime, Tom, Asa, and Steven. On the other side of the ball was Yaron in Dark leading Goldberg, Beast, Rabin, Jordan, Daveo, and Mo. The only way to tell the story of this game is to present the Jewball in advance. Beast always has the football mentality. He doesn’t always have the game to match it. You see it in there, but sometimes….I don’t know…maybe the weed affects him….whatever it is – his game is not on the highest level. This past Sunday, he was playing at a level beyond anyone else on the field – from wire to wire. I think there is a reason for it. I think this virus had him thinking. I think there is new clarity in his life. Maybe it’s also the girl. I think he’s on a mission. I think it changed him physically, psychologically, and spiritually. He always preached – but now you see the results – and damn, makes me a believer. Whatever he is doing – it is working. He was dangerous on Sunday. Dangerous fast, dangerous strong, and dangerous focused. Unstoppable is another way to put it. So, in scoring 3 TDs and moving the ball all day – in fighting at the line each play with no one able to match his drive – he gets Jewball. That said, Yaron drives the ball with Beast and punches it in with Goldberg to get the scoring started. 1-0 Dark. Prager then gets pickpocketed by Daveo on the subsequent drive. Staring into Mighty on the short cross from the 5, Daveo reads it and steps right into the route. P6 served up fresher than a salad at QCumbers – Dark goes up 2-0. Adding insult to injury, Prime drops what may have been a TD pass on the next drive. Looks like another hardluck day for Prager. Eventually, though, his main weapons start doing what they do. Mighty and Prime put up points, but Dark had already turned on Beastmode. It actually got started with a spectacular Daveo one-handed diving first down reception. After that momentum reshift, Beast took over. Colors was never able to tie the game or take the lead because Beast was ripping off one big play after another. In the scorching heat, no one could keep up with his engine. With his girl watching, Beast put on a show. 3 scores in a row to give Dark a two TD lead. Asa cut it to one late with a nice over the middle route that Prager exploited with a fine deep ball, but a costly miscue again on a short field did Colors in. Mo P6s his way to a final score of a very successful rookie season and the game ends with Yaron putting his stamp on the momentum of dominance he has held over Pray for many months now.
I would say…the rivalry between Pray and Yaron will continue next year….but…will it? With Gronk being away for most of the season, Prager stepped in to make sure we had competitive games each week, but Week 20 reminded us that we have a very serious contender waiting in the wings. Like the Frog Licker, Feit is for real. Feit is an elite kinda QB who may just demand our full attention. Yes, he needs to be around more. Yes, we need to be able to pencil him in week in and out, but he has the goods. It will definitely be worth exploring our best options for next season at signal caller.
Out of respect for Rabin, I will only say 5 things about Game 2. 1.) Feit won 6-1 in a brilliant performance 2.) Jordan scored the only TD for his team and worked really hard for it 3.) Steven played dehydrated after sleeping under tree and dressed like steroids John Lennon 4.) Beast continued to be a relentless force and 5.) Goldberg, putting up 4 scores, and 2 picks (one of them a P6), stole the Jewball from his quarterback.
This transitions well into our season MVP. Is it Goldberg? No. But the newlywed deserves a ton of credit for being in the conversation. I don’t want to go on and on about someone who is not our MVP, but earlier on the chat I said that I thought Goldberg was soft when he first came on the scene, but – I had said – I was wrong. You know what? I wasn’t wrong! He was soft! He had a chip on his shoulder for sure and he played hard – occasionally showing flashes of the player he has become. But let’s not pretend that we misjudged him. I don’t think we did. I think he gets credit for honing his craft and getting tougher and tougher each week. He does not get Jewball MVP this year, but look out for him in the future.
Beast also doesn’t get the MVP this year, but I think he is the man to beat next year. If the change I see in him and his game sticks – there will be no reckoning with that power.
Which brings us to Yaron. Even Yaron is thinking….Yaron? Yaron was not a finalist, but let’s take a moment to give this man a standing ovation. He is not a finalist….kinda because we take him for granted. The things he does for the love of Jewball are MVP caliber. If you created a commissioner in a lab, it is him. I could retire tomorrow and Jewball would live on without missing a beat. His season was great, but uneven – and other guys had more recognizably next level campaigns. I will say one thing before we get to the final 3. Last year, Yaron won season MVP and it was glaringly obvious that it was his. This year, someone will get it – but it is not as perfect a fit as last year.
Mighty doesn’t care if it’s him, but he does care that I write nice things about him. He knows how much I (and we all) respect his game. He was the first star of Jewball and he still is a star all these years later. That is a guy you always need to account for. His tenacity in Vets Rooks gives me chills to this day. He was so banged up. Could barely walk between plays. Limping and stretching and trying to stomach the pain. But…he lead us. Put the ball in his hands and he feels no pain. I will always picture him that way. And, none of us can argue this fact: With his production, if he played 15 or 16 games, he would run away with the MVP. His numbers are comparable to the two finalists (if not better) every single time he plays. However, it is The Revolution. Any other year – where we struggled to get games and organizing was unreliable and the league was on shaky ground – 13 games played would have been respectable. But, everything takes place in its time. And when you have guys like Zada and Prime who play virtually every single week (and every single game) – how can they not have the edge?
Jewball MVP is not just about the numbers, it is about the commitment to Jewball. All of our finalists have it (along with premiere game changing talent), but Zada and Prime brought their A game every time and most often.
I’ll be honest – at this point it may be a toss-up. I don’t want to disrespect either player by making it seem like the choice is obvious. My other problem being that it’s almost a cliché by now if I screw over Zada. Zada, who did not get a single Jewball this season (I may have robbed him once or twice – not on purpose!)….is a finalist for the Jewball MVP – so that goes to show you that it’s a big picture award. Like Goldberg, I for sure underestimated him. He is tough as nails, has incredible instincts, and cares about playing exceptional football every play. He also has the best attitude. Finally, he cleaned my hat and returned it to me even though I watched him bleed into it from his nose for twenty minutes straight – to the point where the blood was pooled in it like a purple swamp. And he thought I wanted it back?!
But, what about Prime? Played more Jewball than anyone else. Brings it each week. The right attitude. A joy. A joy for the game, for being out there – with the guys. A joy to be around. Takes pride in being a Jewballer. I’ll never forget – one week we are walking off the field after a solid game. Me, Prime, and Beast. With all sincerity, Beast and Prime are telling me – Jewball, they say – they’re in it for life. Until they can’t play another game. I’m dragging the bag of gear between the gate and the parking lot. I look at Prime to see if he’s joking. He’s not. He has that look. Kind of wide eyed but intense. He’s in it for life. And what has he done in two seasons other than prove that sentiment. 33 out of 40 games!!! All 3 Bowl Games! And 3 bowls in his car before each game! For real, weed jokes aside – though – the guy is all in. And, like he told me – and meant it – in it for life. What more can a 20 year veteran and 15 year commissioner want from a Jewballer? Prime says it, means it, plays like it, backs it up.
He can’t pass rush like Goldberg. Doesn’t have the stamina of Beast. Not the prestige of Mighty. Or the ball hawk skills of Zada. But he has shown in 2020 that with a flare that never overwhelms his humility, great hands (as long as its not a bullet screen pass), boundless positive energy, and most of all, a palpable commitment to our game – you can win an MVP. Primetime, congratulations on this most high of Jewball honors (no pun intended).
Jewballers, I always write this final part of this final post with tears in my eyes. Sometimes just a glistening. Other times a full on downpour. Why? Because I am so grateful. Really. It’s not that I will miss the game (even though I will). It will be back (sooner than ever before in fact). I am so grateful that another season comes and goes and I am still here to write to you. Not just as a commissioner, but as one you. That I still am able to compete. It’s a blessing that I do not ever take for granted. None of us should. To that end, we have less than 3 months until the pre-season kicks off. Usually, I need to tell you all to be cognizant of your health and physical fitness for 5 months. Usually I have to worry about the indulgences of Purim, Pesach, and Shavuot. Now….okay….July 4th bbqs are coming up – but a much shorter off season. My message is the same. Value your time in life when you can play this game. Eddie has given us all hope! Careers can be extended into our 50s! But it takes work. It takes self-control. It takes discipline. It takes prioritizing the game over a lot of other things we enjoy. Let’s return to the game in the best shape of our lives. Whatever Beast is doing – we should do that.
The past few months it felt like reality was collapsing. We get distracted by the media and all we hear about is sick people and scared people. All we see is society being torn apart by politics and hate between races and religions. It shakes you up. It makes you think – is that the real world? It’s so convincing! But…that’s hype. That’s the world of people who have nothing else to do but scroll on their phones and live in a bubble of their own design.
Jewball is real. When I step on to a field with Jewballers…that is sacred. That is clarity. On the field, I only see healthy, fearless people. I see people of all colors, races, religions, ages, and maybe even sexual orientation – who LOVE each other. Who are brothers. For life.
I run into Jewballers ALL. THE. TIME. And we talk Jewball. They say they are coming back. I say great. We both know they won’t. But it’s pure love. And it always will be.
God bless Jewball.
See you in September.

——————————————————————————————————————-

2020/2021 SEASON

Twenty years ago, right about now, I was 22 and had been married for almost four months. Living in Kew Gardens Hills and had discovered that Sundays in the summer meant pick-up basketball at Park Drive East. When winter of 2000 rolled around, as has been recorded in the chronicles of Jewball, a few KGH guys tried to play some football. There were six of us, trying to make a game on a short grass field, puddles iced over causing us to slip and slide – the game was dumb, but I’ll never forget it. Me, Charlie, JK, Mosey, Fine, and Hands. We tried this for a few weeks here and there, but we knew there had to be more out there. JK, was only a year removed from being the MVP of the entire Israel league. He was in the paper every week. I used to walk the streets of Israel with him and kids would stop us. So….if our small band from KGH could latch onto an existing game, we knew would bring value. One day, closer to spring, Grushko and Fine took mercy on us and told us about another game. It was a pretty well established game in Flushing Meadows Park, they said. They had played there before. They seemed to not want to let us in on the secret. They themselves were outsiders so they likely didn’t feel right bringing other people down. Showing us the map to the game was perhaps not their place. But they did tell us. So JK and I drove to Flushing Meadows almost 20 years ago and found the parking lot off 108th and saw the guys playing football, passed the trees and down the hill, with Terrace on the Park looming on the eastern horizon. What struck us was the amount of people playing. Was it 6s…7s?! WOW! How did they organize so many people! And they had cones set up! My God! REAL ORANGE CONES! Where do you even get those??? They had really planned this thing!
I recognized some people playing. Knew some of their names. Avi Spira was one. Rabin and Brian Sigman were there, but didn’t know them really. Don’t think Kenny was in that week. But, either way….JK and I stood on the sidelines and watched. We did not get in. Don’t think we were welcomed or invited to come back or anything like that. But we kept showing up Sunday mornings (back then….showing up at 9am was the way the game was organized pretty much.) Eventually we got in. Reluctantly on their part at first, but we were consistent and reliable and we found our place. The comfort level grew. I was never a sports guy – and did not play much football before getting married. I learned the game and cared about getting better at it. As people moved on, I started bringing people. Rabin and I talked about it more and more – organizing it together – trying to keep it alive. We moved it the 5Towns and created an email list. The rest is history.
20 years of Jewball in the rearview. Hard to face the reality that I have many many more games behind me than in front of me. But, those contemplations are for another day. Because today is today – now is now. Every Single Season is a Blessing. Every Single Game is a Blessing. Every Single Play is a Blessing. Strapping up your cleats on a Sunday morning is a blessing. Picking out your jersey is a blessing. Stretching on the field before the game in the cold and sunshine is a blessing. Fetching the cones after a game is a blessing. This is where my mind is and must be after 20 years of Jewball. Seize the day. Also – Appreciate the day.
The days of me hyping Jewball to wake the slumbering Jewballers to gear up for Week 1 is loooong over. We are all revved up and ready to take our talents to the LHS turf. To fill the stat sheets, recaps, and record books. To create new stories and legends. To build upon the legacy of this great game. To be the magical place where twenty years from now someone writing to a bunch of Jewballers remembers when and where, for him, it all began.
Who wants WEEK 1? (Early, Late, Both)

10/18/20

WEEK 1

It feels like ages ago that we started this season. My failure to write a recap until now reflects the times. Chaos. Pure chaos. A pandemic rages. A country divided. A Bar Mitzvah in jeopardy. Yet, Jewball had a Preseason Game (or 2?) and there was a Captain’s meeting in Rabin’s Sukkah to get the League started – and there was a Week 1 (and since then a Week 2). Week 1 was almost perfect. Almost. The weather? Perfect. The sign ups? Robust. Had to lock people out of both games – Jewball is on fire. As it should be. As it should always be – amen. Klink was back. The O bros were firing on all cylinders. Gronk was saying same play. Vegh was auditioning for a Holocaust play. I mean, this was Week 1 at its best.
I got to the field with about a half hour to go in Game 1. Y’know….what I can say? Just a beautiful thing to pull up to Week 1 in the sunshine and see LOVE In the form of football. That’s what I see. I am greeted by Storm and his girl – think her name was Jill. A family affair. That’s what Jewball is. We bring the kids, the wives, the intendeds. Me and Storm are stretching out a bit. Throwing it around. In that moment, there is no worries – no troubles – no viruses ravaging the planet. There is only turf and sun and sky, a football, hand eye coordination, and the best energy in the world. I notice that PJS is on the floor…hurt? Kinda hurt? Out for the season? The usual? Love that animal! Oh wait…Singer needs a replacement? Okay…I’ll go in….why not? Oh, he is okay – okay…forget it. Fun while it lasted.
What’s the score? Feit is down 2. Score is 3-1. Yaron had been on fire. But was I watch the game…..Pray is making stuff happen on offense. Catches a jump ball with one hand over Mighty. Leads to a TD. Then a defensive stop. Then Feit scores again. His crew is now clicking and pumped. Can they steal the game late. Goes into OT. The momentum is all on Feit’s side. Yaron has a 4th and long and if they miss it, for sure Feit will score and end this thing. Yaron heaves one to the sideline….and Singer – ever the opportunist – has the pick lined up – he tips it instead of knocking it down….Mighty dives!!! And makes the catch to keep the game going. A few plays later Prime hauls one in to give his team back the lead! Now Feit is playing for the tie. He goes with what worked last time….a deep bomb to Pray and Pray looks like he can once again beat Mighty over the top – but….Mighty is not gonna be outmuscled twice in the same game. He battles harder this time and makes sure no harm is done. A few plays late Yaron has that goofy grin plastered on his face and Feit is humbled. Yaron beats Feit in Week 1 4-3.
Game 2 was classic Game 2 absurdity for two reasons. My almost perfect from before relates to our soccer playing bizarro world cousins who drove up and basically just sucked the air out of LHS. I’m not gonna talk politics here. We made a deal with them. Hopefully the weather takes care of them so we don’t have issues. Bottom line is – they suck. Kudos to Kut and MK and whoever else absorbed their profound wind and douche baggery for prolonger periods.
On the field…there was a game. Gronk threw three scores to Yaron – all on plays called by Yaron to himself. Yaron gets Jewball for such efforts. If the Game 1 Jewball wasn’t given out – I think it goes to Mighty….at least for what I saw in my few minutes there. Yaron’s first TD was beaut – diving at a full horizontal angle to catch and plunge into the endzone. I know Whiskey picked off Pray on Pray’s first drive. Welcome to Jewball, again. Time has gone by so kal vachomer I don’t recall all the stats or plays…..but it was a mercy killing when we called the game as the soccer pricks started pushing goals onto the field and otherwise swarming around us like so many flies. Gronk beats Pray. Week 1 is behind us and I wrote a recap.

10/25/20

WEEK 2

Week 2 recap

Credit to recap from week 2 to PJs and Salem, as commish was battling post bar mitzvah fatigue. Mazal tov to violence himself.

Game 1 – a PJs perspective

Two roads diverged at LHS,
And sorry Two teams could not travel both to victory. And be one winner, long stood Rabin making his first start of new Jewball season And looked down one as far as He could
To where Feit felt confident that his week 1 loss was a fluke. Rabin had Munch, Gronk, and Mighty 3 players that dominate at this game in their colors. Feit challenged with Goldberg, Storm, and Kut. For Feit this game started where is last one ended. First throw to store is ripped up in the air picked off by mighty. Rabin throws a screen to mighty who gets passed 3 defenders to give colors 1-0 lead. Things didn’t get better for Feit who stalled at the goal line a few times. Rabin was on fire. Dipping and dunking. Hits Gronk who jumps over Vegh and Storm for a TD. Then Feit throws a pass off line to Goldberg that’s picked off to make it 4-1 Colors. Feit threw a perfect pass to storm at the end to give Dark their second TD. Munch was in Feit’s face all day and the final score was 6-2. Rabin looked great and Gronk, Mighty, Munch were their Allstar selves

Game 2- from the beast slayer Salem

It was the best of times, it was the worst best of times, as our united Jewballers selflessly allowed a bunch of phony posers take over our turf for an hour and a half, just so that we avoid having to kick their asses. Why you ask? I’ll tell you why, it’s because Jewballers play the end game. We learn, we adapt and we destroy.

The phony posers rode up on our turf, literally, and tried to distract us from doing the thing only the greats are capable of doing…playing Jewball Football. As Jordan will tell you, this isn’t just a game, this is our lives they were trying to mess with. Well, we rule on grass just as much as we rule on turf…and their day will come.

But enough distractions…Dark didn’t waste any time, Pringle led his team straight into the end zone throwing to a wide open Gronk in the corner of the end zone on their first drive. Colors didn’t like the taste of that, and stormed back with Yaron to Tom pulling out at TE and making some Gronk like spins all the way into the end zone. Dark wasn’t impressed. Or were they?

Legs, on Colors, had enough of trying to get to Pringle, he realized that getting to him was the second line of defense, moving to the second level to wreak havoc at MLB. Well, it worked. Pringle and his crew were stopped and Colors fed THE MVPrime who had a nice rush into the end zone. 2-1 Colors. Dark didn’t like the taste of that either, so they stormed back into the end zone. Tied at 2-2. Yaron and Colors fought right back with countless receptions to Tom and Storm, leading Storm into the end zone. 3-2 Colors. Pringle fired back, with some real elusiveness all game and Dark made it’s way into the end zone again, for a TD. Tied at 3-3. A real competitive game, until Colors ran away with it. Yaron was on fire, beaming some tight spirals to his receivers and Tom, with a nice pass to a wide open Salem to take the lead. 4-3 Colors. Pringle led his team down the field to an open Gronk on fourth down and goal. Gronk made a nice catch but ruled…out of bounds. Controversy ensued but Colors were adamant about the call. Yaron led his team down the field, with Storm making multiple people miss after the catch, confusing the defense and Salem who was trying to block for him. Tom continued his excellent receiving skills and spun his way for another TD. 5-3 Colors. Colors, led by their defense, continued to stop Dark from gaining any moment with Salem rushing solo getting to Pringle 4 times throughout the game. Salem? A pass rusher. Yes, that happened. When Legs made the switch, Salem stepped up. Was it a problem with the o-line? Or was it simply a great pass rush? I’d like to think it’s the latter so Beast and the others can save face. Colors added another TD after MVPrime dropped a laser from Yaron but TD to Salem on the next play. 6-3. Game ended with a pick on Pringle. Game over. All around great effort from Colors, Yaron on fire with 5 TD’s, blocking was A+, the D-line Tom (offensively) and Salem with some great play, Storm with endless receptions, Colors takes the game. Jewball to Salem for a great effort.

11/1/20

WEEK 3 / JEWBALL GAME 1 RECAP

Jewball is not scared to evolve. I still remember when the “kids” (they were 23…I was….28) were pushing me to try these newfangled flag belts. We were a tough league. We prided ourselves on being “rough” touch – pushing down, tripping up – but the flags were what the new guys wanted….so we tried it. I got some heat from the purists – the old school. Flags will ruin the game. People will get hurt (never really understood why it was more dangerous). I can’t do it. The games are worse. All that. Some people left when we made flag permanent – never to return. Good player. Guys who were true Jewballers. This was only a few years after we moved the game from Queens to Woodmere. Another major shift. Did it isolate some people? Yes. But it allowed Jewball to survive – and then thrive. Little things here and there. We have done stats before. We even had a website before. What we have never had before – is set teams and a schedule. In 25 years….never. Until this season. And it certainly emanates from the technology which allows us to do it. Besides just Whatsapp….Do you guys look at the work Bron is putting in on the website? The guy is really making something special for us. If we don’t say it enough – twenty one gun salute to Yaron – for everything he brings. The ideas and the talent to make them happen. There are always people with suggestions – it is rare that someone is willing and able to put in the work to make the suggestion real. So, what was once an idea – and then a meeting – and then some logos and chat fodder – became real. And – outside of a little debate between me and Mighty (and we buried it off chat) – Week 3 in this 2020-2021 season was one of the most memorable, exciting, and intense days in all of regular season Jewball history. To say the experiment worked is a massive understatement. I put it up there with the Chabad games, the Thanksgiving Tournament, and the last few Vets Rooks games as some of the most competitive games we have ever had. I don’t know if you all agree – but I thought the atmosphere was tremendous. There are some kinks to work out, but they are minor and eminently work-out-able. Each game was down to the wire and could have gone either way. Needless to say, I can’t wait until League Week 2 on 11/22.
Game 1 was the Ass Men v. Feit Club. The Ass Men didn’t look much like themselves in their opening game. With Singer, O, and Logan out, and Munch’s back threatening, the Asses picked up veteran Jewballer, Press, as well as new Jewballer Whiskey and MK’s bro, BK. Feit took the ball first and went 3 and out – the Ass Men had an excellent pass rush with Munch managing to be strong throughout the game. Rabin was hopeful that he would feel comfortable being the both team Captain and a premier Ass Man, but things fell apart early and often. He threw a pick on his team’s first two possessions. Feit took his short field and lofted one over the top to Mighty, who was covered step for step by BK, but the length of the football was the only space between Mighty and the back of the endzone. Catch, drag the feet, fly out of bounds. Mighty makes a catch that only he can and the Feit Club goes up 1-0. With the O brothers out (and not replaced ) the Feit Club did a valiant job playing with just 7 and putting their best defensive look out there, but it was really only a matter of time before the Ass Men would score. They simply had too much speed not to. Screens and hand offs, roll outs, and slants eventually got Rabin in the red zone. Double slants by Jordan and MK in the heart of the defense allowed for a little bullet at the 1 yard line, which Jordan caught and hopped over the line, just as his flags were pulled. TD. Tie game. At this point the wheels started to come off for Feit. Despite numerous perfect passes – 3 of them for surefire scores….his receivers let him down. Gronk dropped a ball in the end zone, though it would have been a tough catch for others – a one handed reach over the top…..but he usually makes that catch. And Beast had himself a rough day. His speed got him open numerous times, but the ball was just not his friend on Sunday. Squirting out of his grasp time and again. Mighty, however, was still reliable. Even with the speed of BK and a smothering coverage – Mighty found day light and Feit – as he did all day with his receivers – put the ball right on him. Mighty and BK got tangled up and both were falling to the ground. Mighty catches the ball while on the ground….gets up untouched and breaks for the end zone. With 30 minutes left in regulation – Feit Club is up 2-1.
The defenses held for the next twenty minutes. BK made sure not to give Mighty an inch. Rabin threw his 3rd pick of the day. But eventually, the Ass Men put a drive together. Oren leaks out from the TE spot to pick a big first down. But, with a 3rd and long – the Ass Men needed to go into their bag of tricks. Because the one thing Rabin could not do all day was throw an effective deep ball. If it was more than 10 yards – it got ugly. MK took control of the huddle and said….This is on me. He called for a pitch and felt confident he could make a good throw. Boy, did he. With the game on the line….MK gets the lateral from Rabin and the O line holds….he has time….Streaking over the middle is Storm and MK throws a strike that Storm grabs at the 15 yard line! The Ass Men have life! A play later Rabin calls Jordan on the slant and after a tap to himself and bobble, Jordan secures the ball and has Feit to beat. Feit wraps him up but is not pulling the flag and with MK causing interference, Jordan keeps his legs moving. At the 4 at the 3 at the 2…..Jordan falls into the end zone. With no time left on the clock…..we have a time game. Each team will get one final possession. Feit picks a bad time to make his least accurate throw of the day. It is essentially a jump ball down the left hash….but he picked the wrong corner to go after. Storm – who made the two biggest plays of the day for the Ass Men – and hence is your Jewball winner – leaps and comes down with the ball for the most timely of picks. Two plays later a screen to BK and that afterburner speed results in an OT TD and the Ass Men beat the Feit Club in Game 1 of the Six Week League.
Game 2 Recap – an equally riveting game ….Tomorrow…..

Game 2 was Yaron’s 193 against the Birds of Pray. A little history. If you didn’t know…..Yaron is not one of us. Somehow, the guys he brought down have become more Jewballer than him. I’m joking….but the truth is…Yaron had his own Jewball life before joining ours. No doubt we have reaped the benefits of that conversion, but he had his guys and he is loyal to his game. So when the opportunity to get more of his guys involved in Jewball….he welcomed it. On draft night, although he picked up 2 premiere Jewballe talents in Mo and Solo….he said to us…. I’ll get the rest of the team from my prior squad. These are guys we know and have seen. Jimmy, Alan, Tomaz, Stephen, Danny, etc…..truly the nicest and most fun loving guys in the world. They LOVE the game. And they definitely have the Jewball spirit. Definitely our cousins, if not, our brothers. I am very happy that they are now going to be a semi-regular part of this season. And it was obvious why. At least in terms of atmosphere. Dealing with the rotation is Yaron’s problem….but the rest of us can just behold the sheer numbers that came out for him – and the jubilation they bring. Whether ripping on each other (or our favorite punching bag, Bronny) or cheering for each other. There is a lot to be learned there for our guys. I hope the League Weeks grow over the course of the season in terms of fanfare and hype to match what the 193 bring to the table.

Problem for Yaron and his team….the game is not won on the sidelines. The game is one between them. And to do that….ya gotta make plays. Doesn’t matter how tall or buff or big you are….you gotta execute. The 193 did not execute well. Time and again, Yaron put the ball on his players….and they did not do their jobs. I don’t just mean bombs or deep routes. I mean they were dropping slants and screens. Was tough to watch. I doubt it will continue, but a rough debut for the 193. Highlights were Jimmy- squat, pretty round and the most unlikely speedy running back you will see. And Danny finally came through on a deep siding route – scoring a big TD in the end but too little too late. Overall, though, Mo was the most reliable WR for Yaron. Making the Jewballers proud. Showing everyone how we do. Good on ya, Mo. Yaron should have kept you in there more. ; )

With the exception of Prime, the Birds are a low key team. Unflashy. Hard working quiet dudes who look to get the job done. Is there a more humble QB in the universe than Pray? His team is a very likable mix. Like I’m a fan. Like I would legit get a Vegh jersey. And Vegh had himself a game as well. After shedding between 15 and 75 pounds over the summer, the guy is faster than ever and is playing with max confidence. Just looking smooth out there. Pray and Vegh hooked up early to set the tone for the Birds. Let the 193 intimidate off the field- on the field, we are gonna show out.

The first score of the game actually came from another strength of BoP…that is their formidable pass rush of Salem and Legs. Two terminators on the line. Not the big muscle bound rushers you might expect, but they have technique down and are relentless. If Yaron was not hanging his head watching his passes being dropped, he was running for his life. 20 minutes into a scoreless game….Legs brings the heat and tips Yaron’s pass…..Salem plucks it from the sky and P6s his team to a 1-0 lead. Before long it was 2-0 as Prime came back to a ball and showed the 193 that he is someone you cannot try to tackle half-assed. He will stiff arm you in the eyeballs, throat, and ear…So wrap him up!

Yaron and Danny did make it a close game with a TD after Yaron and Mo moved the ball downfield on a number of runs. With Pray needed to go, he had a chance to go up 3-1 and put on on Goldberg in the endzone. Goldberg had himself a Beast of a day – his mind and body just not in sync. The TD drop was one of many. Like Beast, he will be back. Gronk had been stretching on the sideline….he was ready to come in. Back with his Cronies. What would happen? No one could have predicted one of the best finished to any Jewball game ever.

Yaron and Danny make that deep connection and the scored is actually tied with 15 minutes left in regulation.

Gronk takes the ball for a drive that may decide the game. I don’t think I can properly describe the various MIND BLOWINGLY AWESOME events that took place on this drive. Let’s begin with a 3rd and long desperation heave to Dobs on the left sideline. Dobs goes up with two hands and somehow the kid from the most trashy borough in the world makes an elegant game saving catch. Two feet in. Move the chains. The crowd went wild! Then we have another desperate moment – just after the incredible de-shirting of Gronk as he scrambled in the backfield- flag belt remaining online!- with the Birds needing serious yards to get within striking distance of the endzone. Gronk scans the field like a pro….and takes a shot….PJs to the rescue! 15 yard completion to the 10 and Birds are back in business! Huge play! PJs had a true hero moment. And then….like a boss…Gronk punches it in with Vegh. Birds up 3-2 with minutes left.

Yaron gets the ball back looking to even the score and push it into OT. He drives and picks up a first down, but Legs and Salem say unto him: this far and no further. The drive stalls at the 35. The Birds hold on and pull out a dramatic and elative victory to start their League season. Not sure if it can get better than that, but we will see….

Jewballs go to the BoP line of Salem and Legs. Besides the score they combined for, it was just a joy to watch them motor from wire to wire. Engines revving, pedal pressed all game. And they have a W and a Jewball apiece to show for it.

11/8/20

Week 4 Recap:

One November in the not too distant future, they will say the weather is unseasonable today – and that will mean it is colder than 50 degrees.Perhaps a scary future, but great for the Jewball present.
I didn’t get to set up a field on Sunday on the grass like in the days of yore. Yaron had already done it by the time I arrived at the scene. And the scene was Jewball in full swing – full sun – and the day heating up. Was mid-60s by 9am. Must have reached 70 at some point during Game 2.
I’ll be honest – I didn’t love the teams this week – I knew there was a potential for blow-outs in the chemistry of it all. My hope, of course, was that the “underdog” team would step up. But perhaps there is something to just divvying up the talent in a more economical way. My bad on Week 4. I will aim to improve that.
Game 1 was at the half when I arrived. I was told Feit was down big and Mighty was having a hell of a day. Maybe 3 scores and a pick. Something like that. The score was 4-1 with Yaron up over Feit. My gameplan of giving Feit the ultimate pass rush seemed to have backfired. Munch wasn’t even on the line. He gave me a despondent look. Singer, always positive and in good spirits. I asked him how it’s going. He flashed his megawatt smile. “Badly.” Okay, so I blew it. Yaron was gonna win. Feit was gonna lose again. Regroup for next week. But, then….the unthinkable happened. First, Feit hits Singer on a stop and go down the left sideline…..a quick score! His second of the day. Only down by 2. Then I see Yaron on the sideline. He had taken himself out with a knee injury. Safe to say if Yaron had stayed in, the scoring would have continued and Feit would have lost, but this is why you play the game. Injuries are as much a part of the game as almost sacks. Gronk took over at QB, but the normally winning same-play caller was not himself on Sunday. An injured throwing arm nagged Gronk all day and despite his quiet intensity and will to win, he could not hold the lead. Plagued with 3 and outs nearly every possession, Feit took advantage and orchestrated consecutive scoring drives to end the game. The final drive was a beauty with Sam making a huge grab for a first down and capped by a PJs TD in the back of the end zone. Great catch from the veteran using his hands for once not to injure someone. And he didn’t even slide. In OT, Gronk could not push another point across, but Feit could. Once again to Singer. Per the box score, Singer scored 4. That’s a Jewball for him. I heard the game had a lot of calls which of course meant a lot of arguing. We addressed that earlier in the week. I’m hoping our players who are suffering from chronic and severe call-itis (and there are only a few) start considering the good of the league over the need to vent and react in the moment. Rule 1: Dont make the call Rule 2 If the call is made, resect it (trash the guy publicly for making the call, but respect it at the same time) Rule 3 Keep the game moving. NOTHING is more annoying than having to listen to two people argue over a call. The guy who made the call is annoying as hell. But you are a very close second for arguing with him about it (yes, I know this applies to me as well).
Speaking of applying to me…your commish has himself a day. Back on the grass, and with his super fly knee brace on for the first time…..wait – mid brag shout out to my boy Big E for coming out – great to see u on the field! – where was I…..oh yeah Game 2 – Pray against Gronk and once again the team seemed oddly one sided. Especially with Gronk hobbled by whatever kept his pistol of an arm in its holster. Granted, his team dropped some balls, which brought morale down and a general malaise fell over his squad, but Pray and Jordan seemed to be scoring at will. Not sure what defense the opposition had set up, but Jordan was open deep every single possession, scoring on the first 3 possessions of the game. When Gronk finally managed a TD with a strike to Goldberg, Pray came right back and extended the lead again at 4-1. Jordan added another and Pray a P6. Just an all out beat down. Despite some mild protests representing faint gasps of pride….we ran it back with Jordan and Tom switching squads. The final game of the day was better and closer. Jordan put up his 5th of the day – and grabbing a Jewball in the process for the cumulative effort – but Pray wins again, hitting Prime on a cross, who zipped passed a dumbfounded Jordan, and scored the game winner. 2-1 in the nightcap.

11/15/20

Week 5 – Jewball League Game 2 Recap:

Game 1

Week 5 brought back the very successful Jewball League pitting the two undefeateds against one another and the two winless teams going head to head. Once again, as the games were played, despite the currents standings where Ass Men dominate at 2-0 and 193 flail at 0-2, it became evident that this anyone’s tournament for the taking. The competition is fierce and it appears that whichever team executes on Game Day has every chance to win.
On another unseasonable day in November, the field was clear and shimmering. A glorious day for football. And we had it to ourselves (reminder that Week 7 is our last shared Sunday). Just like that, though, Week 5 is in the books and with that- one quarter of our season. It goes by…..and this time truly appreciated with pandemic numbers picking up around us. There was no signs of pandemic and plenty of sunshine last Sunday. Some late breaking wind came and went during Game 2, but Game 1 – Birds of Pray v. Ass Men was all good. Game 1 was to see who would start The League season up 2-0 so there was some extra juice. The Ass Men were at full power and looked formidable with Rabin leading (or at least playing QB for) Logan, Singer, Jordan, MK, Munch, Storm, and O. Birds were down one of their best weapons with Legs taking a Leg Day – the team replaced him with a combination of Big E and Zelner. Otherwise, it was nice to see Wilmer back on the field, looking well rested and ready to go. Rounding out the team was their QB Captain Pray and the core of Goldberg, Vegh, Prime, and PJs. The game began on time with Rabin taking ball first – and on those first two possessions, he really looked like the Bin-there-done-that QB who comes in like a lion, but plays like a lamb. He just did not seem comfortable in the pocket at all and once again was not able to complete a pass. And by pass I mean a 3-foot screen. Luckily for the Ass Men, the team is built to be a defensive juggernaut and between the pass rush of Munch and O and the aggressive defense of MK and Logan – Pray had very little room to operate. A lot of pressure was brought and his default running lanes were sniffed out and plugged up. For most of the game, the Ass Men were sniffing and plugging. Putting up a veritable wall of Ass which Pray could not penetrate no matter how hard he tried. And he tried all game. The problem was, on the other side of the field, Rabin could not get it up. By that, I mean he could not throw the ball anywhere but in the downward direction (with the exception of nice hook-up with Storm for 25 yards in the middle of the field). Numerous times, Rabin was seen spiking the ball on hike even though there was no play clock to stop and the idea was to gain yards. However, eventually, the Birds went for it at midfield and the Ass Men – lead all day by MK and O flying around to pull flags – held the line and gifted Rabin a short field. A play later, the Ass Crack Back was called and a hand off to Jordan running right, was able to use O and Singer blocks to weave through the defense and put up a score. The 1-0 lead actually held for most of the game. Pray was not his sharpest and threw 5 picks on the day, two for P6s. Definitely not what his team needed with very little margin for error. After one of those P6s by Singer, and the score a seemingly comfortable 2-0, the Birds finally put a point on the board. It was Goldberg in the back of the end zone, somewhat redeeming himself after an earlier drop of a possible TD. Bird droppings were actually a theme of the day – with the exception of Prime, Pray had some problems with his WRs making the big catches when needed. None more inexplicable than the perfect loft to Goldberg on a roll out. Goldberg bobbled the ball a number of times before seeming to completely secure it….before just laying it gently on the turf. Eother way, even with all the picks and misses, Birds were only down 2-1 with 30 minutes to play. But just as they were infused with sudden life, on the very next play – everything fell apart. Rabin at his own 5, after struggling all day and clinging to a one score lead – dumps the ball to Munch who darts toward the sideline to get as many yards as he can. He’s at the 10. Vegh meets him at the 15. There is some of collision or exchange or moment of truth where Vegh either attempts to push Munch out or grab his flags. But Munch has other plans and does not yield. The Birds are frozen. Munch keeps running. All the way to the end zone. He never went out. The play never stopped. That’s a TD. Now, to talk rulebook. 1.) Always keep playing until it is clear that the play is dead 2.) Vegh was the man on the play so he would be the one to call him down or out 3.) If someone is on the sidelines watching – they actually have the best opportunity to make those calls. The problem here was that Prime and Pray said they heard someone say that Munch stepped out. In the aftermath, no one claimed to be that person. If someone had called out, we would have had to respect the call – even if it was not true in actuality, but no one said they called out. And so….the play stands – Munch makes it 3-1 and that was too much for the Birds to overcome. Time expired them being down two scores. In a last bid to just play until the clock ran out, Jordan picks one and runs it back for a score, temporarily taking TD leader away from Mighty…Temporarily because Mighty and his Feit Club were up next. That recap…tomorrow.
Jewball in Game 1 goes to Singer even though there were plenty of worthy candidates. The 3 picks and the big 2nd TD to give his team some breathing room sealed his MVP status. But special shout out to Logan for being usual selfless and team leader self – bringing us together when needed and lighting a fire under our Ass Men when needed as well. As mentioned before, O, MK, and Munch were flying around pulling flags and making sure Pray never could do his thing. Giving Prime respect as well for looking like a real number 1 WR for the Birds. Making big time plays for them. The other Bird WRs need to up their game to match Prime – and good things will happen.
You can sign up now for Week 6. Weather looks nice. First game on turf, second game on grass. Early, Late, or Either. If you say Both, it means Either to me, so I will decide for you which game you get – fair warning.

Game 2:

Jewballers have a lot of pride. In a way, when there is nothing on the line – and you are out there exerting best efforts – there is more on the line. Because if you are braving the elements, with nothing to gain in terms of reward, fame, or compensation – and you can suffer real injury at any moment – and the risk is so great – the game has to mean something. It has to. The win is all you have. Your performance – whether good or bad – either haunts you or carries you through the week. In a way, of all the experiences we have shared – it is the “feeling” of a Jewball Sunday that binds us. The relatable highs and lows. So, when the League started, that feeling…was enhanced just a bit. The elation of the win and the crush of the loss was just that much more intense and sensational. And so – when two 0-1 teams met last Sunday morning with the Jewball League basement on the line, there was definitely pressure. And the irony of course was that the game was being played by Jewball’s two premiere QBs. It was Feit’s Club against Yaron’s 193. Feit had lost the prior league week to the Ass Men in a close affair that had some replacement player controversy. Yaron had lost to the Birds of Pray in a close game as well where Dobs – the newly engaged Dobs! – played hero and Yaron and his team looked somewhat lost on offense.
With two weeks to regroup, both teams met on the field of battle looking to get their momentum going. The game started before the game with Gronk unavailable and Feit picking up Megatron – one of the most talented players to ever take the field as a Jewballer. Not a regular by any means, but when he does come down – he makes a difference. Size and speed and skill. An even replacement for Gronk? Sure. I see that – a good move by the Feit Club. But it wasn’t even Megatron’s day – in fact, he had a pretty rough day – looking like he needs to get back into Jewball for some reps. It was really a team effort by the Feit Club that made the difference. They showed why they were the favorites before the season began. There was Mighty getting the scoring started making so much happen after the catch – just magical stuff down the left sideline – slashing, zipping, spinning, stopping – and zipping again – the 193 were not up to the task of slowing down a motivated Mighty. 1-0 Feit Club.
So, it’s hard to write a recap for 193 games since I don’t know all the names of the players…but they did show up in Steelers jerseys that I assumed were from the old school team they played on. Then…when I saw the JB logo…I just….y’know….Yaron – you do you. And I hope you doing you doesn’t entail losing games for much longer. Yaron is a winning QB type, so I expect a turnaround. But it would not come on Sunday. He did have a player that could run the rock impressively – and even better – he brought his girl down to watch the game (always good for our rep – soccer guys can’t compete with that). So, props to that guy because he was a threat. But otherwise…not much for Yaron and his crew. Most notably, Prime’s own legitimate son, Sam, was a terror on the D line – twice sacking Yaron for a big loss – once in endzone. Meanwhile, on offense Feit was really running an efficient offense. Mighty looked like once again he had a sure TD, but…someone (see, I need the names of the 193) managed to track him down at 5 yard line. Feit failed to score in what should have been momentum shift in the game, but Yaron’s offense sputtered again. Some drops. Some mix-ups…just kinda messy.
Feit Club looked like its breakthrough was inevitable and it came in the form of Beast. The man leading the league in sacks, almost sacks, and bodying, scored two in a row on crosses and 40 yard runs after the catch to put his team up 3-1 (Yaron scored at some point). Yaron never threatened again and Feit tacked on a score with a beauty of a one-handed grab by Daveo at the 20 and a race to pay dirt. Much like in the early game, the demoralization of the losing team was capped by one final insult – a pick 6 to end the game. Megatron puts his mark on the game by giving Yaron one last stat. Feit Club climb to 1-1 and the 193 are still looking for a win.
Credit to Feit Club for winning as a team. Mighty rotating out for a full set….just like someone who isn’t Mighty. Steveo was really good about that too. I think Steveo was on the sidelines for most of the game 🙂 Sam, giving the fans what they wanted by dropping a lollipop pass that was in the air for about a minute and everyone cleared out for him. C’mon, Sam! Goldberg would have at least bobbled it first! Jewball, however, goes to Feit for giving his team real leadership and a sense of unity – or so it seemed. He was in control of the offense and defense from the beginning. He really permeated that “I got you” vibe and I believe his team were motivated by it. Feit Club seemed to buy in this week…and the league is on notice for sure. Besides the precision passing, Feit made some critical defensive plays as well – none bigger than stopping Yaron from tying the game by batting down a nice pass to Mo on a cross in the front of the endzone. So, Feit, Jewball for you. Next League game – one month from tomorrow!

11/22/20

Week 6 Recap:

Game 1

As the players took the field there was one question to be answered. “where is everyone?” Traffic, which was the theme of this game. This was a battle of the defenses and there was plenty of coverage across the field. There were no uber open guys and all the plays were fought for. Pringles and his color crew took the ball first against a Singer/Munch defense scheme. Munch leading the line battle with Sam son of Prime and Singer setting the field looking to back the containment and shut down gains with Feit and Steve-o on the outsides and PJs and Ivry taking the middle. Game underway munch and sam bringing pressure putting up the good fight against Walls and Kut keeping the pressure on Pray. Swats and coverage put the ball in Feit’s hands soon after to battle Mighty, Dobs, Goldberg, and Gronk. A defense that does not like to miss flags. Fortunately, Mighty isn’t the only shifty player and Feit and Steve-o were causing misses with help from the excellent blocking up the field (except for that first play). The defenses held on and ball was going back and forth with only yards to show and an injured baller. Beast who knows to be at both games was there to step in and step up. Between the good picks and the Yaron-style off the receiver ones the game was up in the air everyone playing strong. At some point Singer stole one out of the air and brought it back for a score. Kut had a nice play up the sideline for a pylon touchdown*. Goldberg bullied the D as Pray snuck one into him in the endzone. Singer grabbed a well-placed beauty from Feit in tight coverage across the field in the other endzone. Dobs reeled one in on defense at some point because he wanted to touch the ball and keep his rep high for the fiancé. When Pray was not being sacked he was running from munch and Sam. When he had more time the jump ball to Gronk often worked. The Singer/Steve-o screens fight set up usually grabbed some yards if Steve-o didn’t step out avoiding prays wicked reach. The smart quick plays to get firsts avoiding Walls and Kut kept the momentum. Ultimately the defense stopped anyone else from scoring (and when they couldn’t a “respected” call was always there to help) and the game ended up in a tie. Good effort all around.
Top plays and props (no Jewball): Kut scored* beautiful pass from Feit to meet Singer in the endzone. A masterful block and run with Munch and Steve-o up the middle. An awesome run by Feit being shifty, screaming stuff, and following the blocks. Gronk grabbing balls out the air in unreachable territory for the defense (well place pray) Walls laughing at some bad attempts to block him as he pushed though. Excellent coverage and attitude by PJs. Dobs excellent flag pulling amongst Mighty and Gronk. Goldberg manning up this game and playing great. Signer dominating offense and defense. And great pressure on the line keeping pray on the move.

Game 2

As my intention upon arriving was to set up on grass, in the same way our ancestors did, I entered LHS and turned left, as our ancestors did, and parked by the softball field….as ancestors did. It was a really nice mix of old and new. Going through familiar motions from Jewball’s storied past, but setting up the field for the current generation. But also knowing that Klink, Tom, and Rabin would join me on the field I was building. That Mighty was playing next door – still being mighty. Steveo as well. We had done our jobs. We had maintained the tradition but also passed it on. These were thoughts percolating through my head as I serenely walked the field dropping cones, occasionally taking the time to kick a goose turd to the side. Ah, kicking goode turds…how i missed you. I had to set up the field because Yaron was coming straight from work and would not make it before 945. It was 915, and….

“Do you need more cones?!”

My concentration broken. The nostalgia lost. There was Yaron. He made it back early. Within 10 minutes he had reset the entire field.

Made it over to the turf to see the end of a tie game stay tied. Looked like a good game, but did not see any big plays. It went slightly into OT and the soccer guys were buzzing around the field like flies. Shoo!!!

I will begin by rejecting a myth outright. Actually two myths. 1.) Game 2 is a weaker game 2.) Grass is a weaker game. Neither are true. The players who sign up are responsible for the level of quality and satisfaction of the game. You get out what you put in. This is in a way why I like the world of EITHER. The world of Both lead to a sense of an entitlement and laziness. Of collecting stats. Of spreading out the energy output. Now….u get your game….and u best give it everything you got.

Yaron took ball first and drove the field. Rabin kept promoting his team’s need to bend and not break. And they listened by bending the entire length of the field. However, with Beast going stop and go deep to the left deep corner of the endzone, Jordan sniffed it out and picked the ball off with Beast right behind him.

Rabin, whose arm looked MUCH better than his last start, quickly converted the turnover into points. Placed a ball just over the top of the defender down the right sideline to a leaping (or tiptoeing) Pray. With no one behind him, Pray runs it 65 yards to score and put Rabin up 1-0. Now, Yaron was not struggling at all. He was pinpoint accurate and finding his guys open – even in tight windows – throughout the first half, but the drops were inexplicable and contagious. Beast losing control of one. Prime fumbling a ball in the endzone that him in the chest with no one around him. Stephen doing the same thing (but more about his debut later). Rabin was having no problem making hay with his receivers. He even threw to Whiskey once. (At the end of the game Whiskey volunteered to play line in a big spot. Straight face in the huddle: “You’re not not throwing to me anyway.”) When a mismatch between Salem and Klink presented itself, Rabin threw a deep ball that Salem hauled in, sliding at the front of the endzone. 2-0 Rabin and looking promising at the half. But Yaron wasn’t out of the game, because Rabin and crew kept bending. In fact, they were bending and breaking. The only reason the game was not tied was because of the drops. Yaron was using Tom very effectively to move the ball downfield on many TE rollout. Rabin and Colors started missing flag grabs on first attempts which allowed first downs and kept drives alive that should have been bottled up. Yaron started picking on the Tabak with Stephen being the taller receiver and even with Tabak draped on him, the jump balls went to Sting most of the time. Eventually one was caught for a point. 2-1 Rabin. But on the very next play, Rabin and Jordan hooked up (party like its 1999) for a circle route and run – 73 yards to a score! The lead is extended with 40 minutes to go. Yaron, beginning to wake up and his team making plays – including a huge first down snag by Prime – scored again with Stephen cutting to the middle of the endzone. Now 3-2 with about 20 minutes left. Here is where things really started to go off the rails for Rabin. On a 4th and long at Yaron’s 20, Rabin called a bold play. Pitch to Pray – who had thrown a few balls for Colors but nothing worked out – one was picked – then a throw back to Rabin….who was supposed to find Jordan cutting left to right in the endzone. When Jordan got to his spot, Rabin had already received the toss from Pray and Rabin threw a bullet which Jordan caught. TD!!! Amazing execution and a two score lead with about ten minutes left in the game! Wait…wait…..calling it back….The pass from Pray to Rabin was a forward pass…..Rabin’s strike is called off. No score. No two point lead.

Clinging to a one point lead now, the defense needs to make a stop and secure the game. Swarming around Yaron and going for the sack…..Yaron splits the rushers and tried to run for a first down. Before he can make it to the marker, his clears gets stuck in some dirt and he goes down. He goes down softly but he is rolling around and saying Oh no oh no. Its bad, he says. Worse than the last time, he says. He tries to get up. Not happening. He cannot put any pressure on it. Prime, Jordan and a few others are really upset. No, not because they care about Yaron being healthy or even surviving…but because how can we finish the game?? Meanwhile, people with actual souls like Tom, Beast, and Stephen are carrying Yaron off the field. Those who remain on the field and left Yaron for dead are negotiating how to finish the game. Trade Pray….trade Rabin….Regardless, it felt like Rabin’s win was assured. The loss of Yaron could not be made up for. Just as Pray was about to decide if he could take snaps for the opposition…..Yaron is seen jogging. Wait, no prancing! Legit he is hopping around doing Tik Tok dances! What happened??? Apparently, ya see…it was simply the patella so all u gotta do is snap it back in. Those who heard the snap and saw the maneuver claim they will never be the same. Jill was disgusted.

So, Yaron flosses his way back onto the field. But Colors still feels pretty good. Yaron is hurt. They are up 1. With one stop to make. They can taste the W.

On the next play Yaron throws a pick. Whiskey starts the process by making a great diving tip so Stephen can’t get a clean handle on the ball. It floats to Pray who picks it….no…wait….he doesn’t pick it…..He tips it as well! And it gently falls behind him…..into the waiting, opportunistic arms of Beast. Holy Skirtsteaks! Beast is all alone and jets to the endzone. Instead of a game ending pick…..we have a tie game with the clock all but run out. Rabin has little to no mojo left. A desperation hook and ladder elicits a goffer ball.

Game should be over being the time frame, but no one has anywhere to go and two Jewball ties in one week is bad for business. So, we play on. Yaron drives the field, once again with Stephen being the main target. And the new kid with chill demeanor and lengthy arms makes a nice toe tap grab in the back of the endzone to give Yaron the unlikey lead in OT. Rabin gets another crack at it, but the game ends on a Beast pick after a last gasp throw to Legs. A shame and disgrace for Rabin and Colors. A marvel and miracle for Yaron and Dark.

Yaron gets a most well earned Jewball. Combining all our favorite qualities. True grit and masterful skill.

See y’all tomorrow for Turkey Bowl.

11/29/20

WEEK 7 RECAP

When The Oracle created Jewball in the early to mid-90s he never imagined or could have dreamed that one day he would leave something called a “chat” because someone named “Yaron” posted a “selfie,” while wearing a surgical mask due to a pandemic, of two mating llamas. But here we are in 2020.

When Yoni Paritsky left the field after some game in 2013 – probably a Vets Rooks affair that he lost, in his Dolphins Marino jersey – same as it ever was – we likely said….see you next season…..never imagining or dreaming it would be seven years later that he would return. Why the break? Why so long? Who knows why these things happen. Mental blocks. Age. Injury. Fear of injury. Intimidation by age. Family obligations. All of the above. We will all be tested by such things. How do we respond to the test?

I judge Yoni harshly for the 7 years he missed – and his absence was likely the primary cause of the Dark Ages – but I also commend him for coming back yesterday. I commend Rabin for being our link to the Oracle, and Yoni, and Ivry and Sting. From the original game to what we do now. And for dragging Yoni back to the field. I wish I could fully process what it means to he catching passes from Marino again….as I did so many times for so many years – but…funny….when the game starts…it’s just football. The side plots become irrelevant. The background and atmosphere fade to black- you gotta play the game, execute….get that W – and hang an L on the opponent.

It was a slow start for Marino and Colors in Week 7. Jordan and Ivry colliding. A sack. A pick. Very confused defensive scheming. Did you say Ivry??? He is not even supposed to be in the game. Right, so Colors was a bit of a roster mess as the game began. Legs was seemingly a no-show and Beast was not at all recovered from a leg injury sustained toward the end of his stunning QB performance from Friday. When Legs did show it came with a great attitude and determination but also a slew of debilitating back spasms….forcing him to the sidelines. So….fair or not….Munch stuck around to take reps for Beast. And Ivry stuck around to essentially play for Legs. Once that lineup was set….Colors did get into a better flow. However, back to the game….Yaron took full advantage in the early going. Hooking up early and often with Strom in the endzone (STAT!). Before Marino could even get acclimated to Jewball again, he was looking at 3-0 deficit. But, the fact is and always is….talent cannot be denied. Marino is a Quarter. Back. Seven years is a long time but his programming is see the field, see the defense, run the huddle, believe in the W. His MO has always been calm and commanding leader – and I think- even with the hiccups and picks – his team felt like we were in good hands. Because when the arm showed itself, we knew it was only a matter of time. The comeback begins with a bomb over the defense down the left sideline. Pray reaches up and the ball falls in just out of the reach of everyone else accept the man who had himself a day! Catch and run 40 yards to get Colors on the board. 3-1. Now, with Munch and Rabin permanently installed as the pass rush, Yaron was off balance. But this is no great excuse for what happened next. Yes, the pressure was intensified, but Dark just collapsed for about 45 minutes straight. Storm and Prime are dropping sure TDs. Yaron is overthrowing wide open men in the endzone. Pray is jumping routes like a demon….picking 3 off Yaron. 2 of em returned for TDs. Add to that Yoni and Jordan rekindling some of that old magic for 2 scores….and when the dust settled…..it was 5-4 with Colors on top. The great comeback is nearly complete, but there is 20 minutes on the clock. I believe that is when a sack of Yoni followed by a Goldberg P6 at the 5 tied the game. A real heartbreaking play. Yoni did bounce back to score one more with Pray making it 6-5. In a moment where Marino could have put the game away a few possessions later, he hit Ivry on a beautiful out. The ball zipped right between the receiver and the line…and Ivry makes the catch, but one foot in…no score. Daveo makes a catch then at the 5 and doesn’t get in. Dark defense stood up Colors and it made all the difference.

On the next possession Yaron was picked by Jordan which could have ended the game, but it was agreed to go 1 and 1 to extend what had been a phenomenal back and forth contest. With the ball at the 30, Colors had a great opportunity to win the game emphatically and ice the huge welcome back win for Marino. Colors had two lucky breaks on the drive when Sting knocked away a sure pick from Storm and on the very next play when Prime purposely knocked down a pick in the endzone thinking it was 4th when it was 3rd. But, even with those reprieves, Marino went heart over head and after pumping it in to Rabin to get halfway there, he overthrew to Rabin on 4th down and Yaron took over. He executed a nice drive using slants to Goldberg, which had been an effective tool most of the game. Tom, playing D both ways had 3 near picks which could have saved/ruined the game for his team (depending how you look at it). He had one of those almosts on this final drive….but Yaron survived. Even with the injury….he scrambles for a big 1st down. All Colors has to do is make the stop and secure a hard fought win…..but they cannot. Yaron deep to Sting. The big man corals the ball and keeps his feet in. TD Dark! The game is tied. Pray loses out on a Jewball.

12/6/20

WEEK 8

Jewball is always life affirming. While all those who play it safe and careful and are content to maybe occasionally push themselves on the Peloton – we venture out. Seize the day and all. We fight. The elements. Laziness. Time. The inclination to stay in where it is warm, safe, and undemanding.
There is conversation that takes place every Sunday with my father for the past 15 years. He is 72, I am 42.
“You played this morning?”
“Of course”
“You’re crazy. You know you are not so young anymore.”
Every Sunday. Since I was 27. Either over the phone or as I limp into whatever birthday or holiday party is being held that day. My wife rolls her eyes.
While we all love the beautiful days – with sun and mild temps – the cold windy days are where you earn you stripes. And we earned em last week. Will continue to.
While Jewball is always life affirming, there are some Sundays that are Jewball affirming. Week 8 was such a Sunday.
Soccer guys threatening a return? No problem – bring on the brawl.
Yaron out? No problem, Feit moves to Game 2. Beast and Gronk step up.
Short one? No problem, New guy can bring a newer guy.
25 degrees with wind-chill? No problem. 28 players ready to roll.
Beast and Klink hobbled in Game 2? No problem. Goldberg, Pray, and KU hungry for more.
What am I getting at here??
I’m saying something that I usually reserve for the posts preseason and as the season recap. I am saying be proud of yourselves. I’m saying we built something and it is worthwhile and special and has elements of the infinite. Never underestimate or undervalue what we do on Sunday mornings. As I have said – we don’t need anyone else on the planet to get it – though I’m sure many do have built similar families – the only people who need to get it is – US.
I have to start with Game 1 because….it was first. It was not the better Game and had a fraction of the highlights, but it was a contest from start to finish. We begin with Pray taking the ball and lining up with Kut, Goldberg, Held, Maor, and two absolutely fantastic linemen – Might and Singer. Sounds pretty stacked! Despite all this talent, with the wind whipping – moving the ball was going to be difficult. And Jordan had schemed out the defense – he believed it could work. His team in Colors consisted of Gronk at QB, Munch, Big E, Sam, Steveo, and Ivry. Some speed, some size….it had potential. On the opening drive – there were problems for Colors. You see, Jordan’s scheme involved the best pass rusher in Jewball history….not pass rushing. Okay, so I can see a problem with that. I mean, Jordan is no Greg Williams, but if this were the NFL, Jordan may have been fired. The result on the field was confusion. Munch attacking and tracking the action, and Pray was left to run free. And so he did. The drive was….okay….but it was more about Colors failing to do what they needed to do stop the run. The result, a Pray rushing TD. A bad start for Colors for sure. And it got a bit worse. After it becoming clear that Colors was going to feature a next level Steveo in their offense, hope was reinserted into their hearts. Steveo was busting off big wild runs play after play. Even on broken plays he was going highlight reel. Slipping on a deep route, staying focused on the ball from the ground, and reaching up from his knees to haul it in after it being tipped. Truly an incredible grab. A clinic in concentration and coordination.
With Colors figuring out their defensive scheme a bit – and a few overthrows by Pray – it was evident that the opening score by Dark was an anomaly. Scoring would be very hard to come by. That is unless you can pick a ball at the other team’s 4 yard line and just walk it in – which is exactly what Maor did to Gronk just before the half. Just a heads up and timely as hell play. It proved to be the game winner.
I was actually getting quietly frustrated with Gronk because sometimes I judge him as not being into the game enough – and on Sunday….I see him on his phone between plays! On the field! On his phone! I mean, does it get any more pathetic?? I was about to go off on him. Then….I realize he was looking at plays! He put plays on his phone – and was calling them in our huddle. Damn, if this guy starts running a huddle – I would say look out rest of the league. He can throw the ball accurately. The problem for him Sunday was that the opening man was not catching the ball. The one score by Colors was after a deep route to Jordan made it over Mighty – and Steveo took a handoff shortly thereafter and streaked and spun to the endzone. I don’t want beat up on Sam too much – but facts are facts…Gronk hit him twice on the money in the endzone and Sam could not finish. I’ll circle back to this in the end.
Not that it would have made a difference in the outcome because scoring was so limited, but late in the game Colors figured out to rush Munch who would push around the TE and have the extra man spy Pray. Either way, Colors did not execute their opportunities and a close game ends 2-1. Maor gets the Jewball for the pivotal play that made the difference.
I want to talk about something for a minute that may make some people uncomfortable, but it is 100% an integral part of what we do. And that is – getting better. I’m gonna state here outright – If you can’t play football and you don’t want to get better at football – stay home. You are not one of us. Jewball involves looking in the mirror – seeing what you are – saying I am this, but I strive to be better. To learn a new skillset. To push myself and become something that I am not now. I don’t want to call out many names, but I have seen it happen before my eyes so many times. We will get to Game 2 when we get to Game 2….but…Oren! He was always a force on the line and can pull a flag like he was born to do it, but his hands were a mess. Every ball you threw at him….dink…..doink. And did you see him Sunday?? I can think of others. Kut, Goldberg, Dobs, certainly myself – there are so many guys who come in as one thing and leave as nother. Sure, we get some finished products….but we mostly get projects. And the beauty of what we do is we welcome the projects. We champion the projects! We say….take your time….but push yourself! Evolve with us! The only person in Jewball history who I think could not figure out how to catch was Naftali. He was just working with a different operating system. So, with that said – I challenge every one of you to grow in this game. Sam – you are not a receiver….yet! Big E…you are not lead blocking on screens….yet! It will happen! Just stick with it. We do not tolerate complacency.
NOW – FINALLY – Who wants WEEK 9?

GAME 2

The Brawl didn’t happen.
PJs spooked them off (or offered them never before seen footage from Camp Zoomer). Gronk got in their heads. Legs showed them a picture of Beast and said “You don’t want any of this.” Whatever the case – they were warned and they did not even make the attempt.
First things first – Daveo showed up – not to play, but to brawl…and for that….he gets a Jewball. Thank you, Daveo.
Ivry’s bro showed up on his bike – a kid of 16 – but he looked like he can compete for sure. He also brought a weapon, which I thought was really exceptional. He doesn’t get a Jewball for that, but definitely a lot of respect earned. Legs eventually rolled in as well – late. Beast was on the field, but something was off. Klink was on the field where something was more off than usual. Goldberg started in place of Legs. Then Kut went in for Klink. Eventually Pray went in for Beast. I tell you – it used to be an absolute disaster when someone went down with an injury. One person down ended the game for 13 others….not anymore. We have dudes on the sidelines ready to go. It is now Chanukah. Do you believe in miracles?
It was Feit in Dark leading Wilmer, Kyrie, Prime, Sting, O, and Klink. Feit always looks good. Pops back off the snap. Bounces around. Scans the field. Throws some stunners. There really is no “But” coming. I think he’s a winner. Just been losing. On Sunday he started the game with a really pretty drive. I’d describe it, but pictures are worth a thousand words and I’m drunk on oil. So you can watch the entire drive. I filmed it. You got O cutting and making a real WR catch, arms fully outstretched. You got Feit bouncing it outside and more outside and even more outside for a big gain. But, as you can plainly see….the drive stalled. Beast and his team then repeated the trick. Driving the field and stalling. Around this time, Klink had to leave the field. His hammy or something was tightening up. He spent the rest of the game disappointed as hell, testing it on the sideline. Feit took over and promptly threw a pick to Tom, giving Beast excellent field position. Beast wasted no time going to his patented corner fade route. No one throws the rainbow like Beast. While most of our QBS go for the rocket or put to much on it, Beast lofts it to the back of the endzone like a pro – making it extremely easy for the receiver to link up with the ball at the right place and time. The lucky receiver waiting for this ball was Storm. Stat. Count it. 1-0 Colors.
Around this time, Beast started smacking his injury like Kylo Ren. Very tough to see the warrior deal with the injury. He is dying to stay in – but….damn reality is kicking in. That leg is just not gonna let him finish the game. He is trying…but it’s a frivolous attempt.
Perhaps taking advantage of Beast’s inability to bring pressure on defense, Feit went on a little bit of a run. While the Game 1 QBS were having a miserable time throwing in the wind, Game 2 – while cold and windy – seemed to have some periods of calm. The deep ball was available. Wilmer was having himself a day – his hands looking very capable. Going low, high, inside, outside – the ball was sticking to his gloves….And so…a bomb dropped in on him on the right sideline and he was the deepest man in the zone. Wilmer wins a race to the endzone. 1-1. TABBBAAAAAK! Nice!
Tabak then started making a really nice argument for Jewball by adding a pick to his stat sheet. Prime helped out the cause by putting up a classic slash and jet score to give Dark a 2-1 lead at the half. Pray came in for Beast permanently to start the second half.
At this point, the wind picked up. A Storm seemed to be brewing. The QBs were struggling to put the ball in the endzone or get real traction. Time was running out Colors. Their best opportunity to score was extinguished when Whiskey took a TE bail out pass to help Pray avoid the sack and he managed to get to the sideline past the defense – he has that ball-carrier hyper-boost speed. The problem was he hit the sideline and then….y’know….just ran right through it. He wasn’t forced out of bounds, okay! He went there by choice! Too bad, because it looked like he was about to tie the game.
Feit took over, looking to ice the game with a score or maybe even run out the clock. He pops back off the snap. Bounces around. Scans the field. And throws an……ill-advised pass across the field that Storm picks (STAT!)and runs about 10 yards into the endzone. STAT! COUNT IT!
After the old back and forth seeing if we can get a winner in regulation, nothing comes of it. Feit came extremely close to winning the game by running out of the pocket and cutting with Prime to the sideline, with Feit at the 6 and Prime in the endzone. Feit put the ball right on Prime, but Legs interfered just enough for Prime to bobble the ball. Prime made an attempt to recover – tapped the ball a few times before it sailed away. He wound up sprawled on the turf – distraught. Maybe knowing that was the game. A great game can’t end in another tie! But it looks like that is what would be.
Pray wound up with a final chance to unknot the contest. With the wind whipping, it would take a valiant effort. It was Whiskey again playing hero – this time not running out of bounds but eating up chunks of the field with a big run, making a lot out of nothing. This just after Tom made a clutch grab on a wobbly pass to keep the game moving after a 4th and short when Pray was under pressure. There is definitely something freeing about the final drive and knowing you have to go for it on 4th. Pray survived another 4th and short with an outside run. Tabak pulled the flag just as the line was crossed.
I wish there was more drama here, but you know how this one ended.

Stat Count IT!
Jewball to Storm who is just an absolute thrill to play with each week. I spoke in recap 1 how Jewball loves projects. Storm was never a project in terms of skills. But I do remember the guy that showed up to play with us that day at Woodmere Middle School. Pulling jerseys, getting into fights….I mean….he was called Storm for a reason. I really didn’t think he would catch on with us. Now….he could run for office around here. Who doesn’t love and respect Storm. So….y’know Jewball for his performance on Sunday and for being a living breathing raging example of what it means to stick with it and commit. Great things happen. Honorable mention to Jill who bundled up and watched her man have himself one of the most memorable days in Jewball history.

12/13/20

Week 9 Recap

game 1

Hard to believe that only a few days ago it was sunny and nearly 60 degrees as we played Week 9. As we approach Week 10, we do not know if there will even be game – because the snow might freeze. What a difference a few days makes.
While I only caught the end of Game 1, which involved a furious comeback by Rabin’s team on the shoulders of Mighty – I was provided with some highlights. Seems that Rabin started typically slow. Dude loves that first play Pick 6. He is a master deflater, but he also has a penchant for comebacks. So, he went textbook to start the game, drawing up a P6 to Goldberg on the first play of the game. Legend has it he threw picks on his first three possessions. Each leading to a score. When it was 3 nothing, Rabin felt ready to mount the improbable comeback – or at least give his team some hope. Naturally, it started with a screen to Mighty with Singer lead blocking and Mighty racing 70 yards to make it 3-1. Goldberg then made his argument for Jewball a bit louder by picking another ball and returning it for a score. 4-1.
Rabin went back into his bag of tricks and tossed the ball to Mighty on the screen, resulting in a 90 yard score. 4-2.
After Gronk and Kut hooked up for a 20 yard pass and 60 yard run to extend the lead, Mighty went off – two back to back P6s. Beastmode has nothing on Ratmode. 5-4.
Rabin faked the screen to Mighty and Singer lead blocking – which everyone of course fell for – but….he throws deep to Singer for a catch and run, 85 yards to tie it up. 5-5.
Rabin partially makes up for the opening play debacle by preserving the comeback tie – Gronk had the win lined up with a 4th and Goal from the ten, but Rabin came up with the sack.
No Jewball for anyone, but Rabin said Mighty had the best game in Jewball history. So there’s that.
This Recap – preserves my word – that I would get a Recap by 11:59 pm today. #lawyer.
Sorry, Bron.

game 2

There was a lot of dark in the Jewball Dark Ages. Our cast regulars seemed to retire all at once. Our talent migrated to Degel, or Croton, of the league, or whatever you want to call it. The weather was harsh and miserable week in and out. Jewball was dying and no one seemed to care. I admit – I lost faith. Rabin never did. Daveo certainly did not. Watching Daveo and Rabin try so passionately and desperately to revive the game – to pound the chest of the corpse – I could watch anymore! I took another stab at it….Tabak brought some guys…Oren brought Yaron….the rest is history.

Chanukah just ended. Although Prime did well to explain the essence of the holiday as Jews love donuts…and that does say it all – there is that other element of Chanukah- which is…..celebrating how powerful a little light in the darkness can be. Now, I don’t want to miss any names here, but during our Dark Age, when another fading game joined ours – we met Kut and we met Tom. MK joined a little later. Tom had some big games early on – he seemed like a keeper. Kut….I wasn’t sure. Wore a Lions jersey. We all know that wearing an NFL Jersey to play pick up football is not a good sign. He wasn’t in the best shape. He kept pulling knishes out of his underwear to snack midgame. Except for the Knish thing….I’d seen his type before. Physical guy and enjoys the game….but…y’know….it’s a love affair that burns out quickly. Also, as I mentioned- the weather was terrible, the games were pretty low quality, and the sign ups were unreliable. I kept sending out emails….and like clockwork – Tom was in, Kut was in. I cannot describe what kind of encouragement those two gave me during that time. Quality guys who wanted to be a part of us. But I thought of Tom as a football player and Kut as a….body. Obviously, I’m writing this to set up the Jewball. But also how wrong I was. And I wasn’t wrong because I misinterpreted the criteria before my eyes. I was wrong because I had no idea what was going inside of Kut. What kind of machine he is from a psychological standpoint. I way underestimated the stuff he is made of. He has SO. MANY. TALENTS. This is why when we all think of the heart of Jewball, we think of Kut. He has transformed himself into a player who can do it all. And it’s no magic. He is working hard. Training. Putting in the hours to evolve and improve physically and mentally. And he does it with such humility and intelligence. It is no coincidence that Kut FINALLY gets his Jewball at our Chanukah game. Because no one represents a candle lit during dark time that should have gone out long ago….but it continues to burn – and not just burn, but rage with the brightest of flames – with no signs of dimming.

Week 9 of Game 2 was supposed to have a few challenges to see who got spots – but Gronk played soccer…I think and Vegh took his spot. Salem dropped and more important than anything we are with him all the way. Maor also needed out. Legs was a maybe but he jumped in – maybe a bad idea….not sure if the injury was inevitable. The sum of all this canceling was that Prime and Courtney were able to take more donuts.

Another outcome was Rabin would face-off against Yaron. Yaron in Blue and Rabin in White for this Maccabowl.

Opening play of the game Yaron sends Jordan right up the middle and Yaron makes a real QB throw, putting the ball over the top leading Jordan who is battling Ivry for position. Jordan reaches up with his right hand and manages to pull the ball into his chest as he falls forward. A nice opening play and Jordan needed it to comfort him later in the evening. A few plays later, Yaron calls the reverse…and although Jordan and Ross execute it real ugly, Ross is fast and elusive and no one can wrap him up. He scores. 1-0 Blue. I don’t remember the order of the next few scores, but I know Rabin was doing himself no favors. His deep ball in Game 2 was non existent. Ross picked him 3 times and I think the only reason he didn’t pick the 4th was he felt bad. One of them he ran in for a score. Another Yaron punched in with Goldberg. Looked like it was gonna be a rout. That’s when Jordan started sucking. A dump to Ivry and missed flag by Jordan lead to big yards. Then Prime punched Jordan in the throat and turned short yards into a TD. A bit later Ivry also got by Jordan and scored. At this point Kut, who was bringing pressure at the line and tracking people down on the short passes when the rest of his team was failing, turned to us and said “Do I have to do everything?” Turned out….he did. Because on offense…Jordan kept the good times rolling by dropping a magnificent deep ball thrown on a fly route. Perfect placement on a full speed go route…..a ball I dream of….and I let it fall. So Kut takes a short pass and runs 85 yards to score. 4-2 Blue. Ivry then continued to show why he may be a future star in this game. Making catches in heavy traffic and evading defenders….racking up many yards on his way to a 3 score day. Rabin is ecstatic because he has now mounted his second improbable comeback of the day. But, Yaron never lost an confidence. He kind of knew he had the game if he wanted it and that he had taken his foot off the gas a bit. Lucky for him, Kut had mad gas. Boom….another 80 yard catch run. The guy is moving nicely nowadays. You can’t sleep on Kut. He has a motor. Yaron takes the lead and keeps it. Game is capped perfectly by a gorgeous over the top pass to Eddie down the sideline. Eddie tips it but maintains his concentration and brings it in. Beautiful hook up between a masterful QB and a receiver he trusts.

I am honored to present Kut his first Jewball. But more than that – I am eternally grateful.

12/20/20

Snow Game Deep Thoughts

by sir Violence

The snow games stand out. Of course they do. It’s playing a familiar game in an unfamiliar setting. Jewball on another planet. I’m not sure when we first decided that Jewball in the snow had to be tackle. For sure when we played touch, we played touch in the snow. When we switched to flags….something about flags in the snow seemed dumb. Whatever the case, it has become a tried and true Jewball tradition. One that many look forward to. Also one that many automatically want no part of. Some find the concept of tackle horrifying. I find it exhilarating. There is absolutely nothing like it. I think one reason for that is – it encapsulates and accentuates one of the lesser appreciated but integral elements of Jewball. And that is….staying young! Listen, I don’t know why I can or still want to play football at 43….but I do know I haven’t taken a season off since I was 23. So….is that it? Is Jewball the fountain of youth? Who knows. But it has to be a factor. And it’s not just the physicality of it. Sure, you can be 43 and in great shape (which I am not) but still be a grumpy bitter broken crank (which my wife and kids would say I am….but they are totally biased). Jewball exercises your mind body and spirit. I don’t care…I’ll say it….Jewball let’s you play like a kid….no matter your age. And that matters! The part of you that says it doesn’t matter and Commish is wrong – THAT’S THE PART THAT WANTS YOU TO GET OLD! Resist it with whatever you got! Fight! Fight! Fight! Acting like a kid once a week is awesome! And it keeps you young! So….where was I…oh yeah….snow! The tackle games in the snow are uniquely kid-like. Adults don’t play in the snow! Adults shovel snow. Adults begrudgingly play with their kids in the snow. Adults ski (privileged ones….Mighty probably skis. Yaron for sure). Kids play! Yes, we take our football seriously! As we should and as we must! But if it happens to snow, and the snow is just right – once in a while – every few years – we get a chance to really be kids again. And I don’t say this to belittle what we do, but really to aggrandize it. I think it’s magic. I think people who belittle it…..well, they’re old and broken.

Snow games are also great because there is something about them that just slows down the pace of play. While that is usually a bad thing….it’s not when the world around you is a colorless wasteland.

We somehow flashed through half a season. Where does the time go? And sometimes a game that you have been looking forward to all week, zips by and it feels like you blinked once between the opening and final drives. It’s not that you didn’t appreciate the game, but you are caught up in the game – the stats, the action – and you never take a moment to sit back:

Whoa…..I’m out here with my brothers, healthy enough to play the game I love, lucky enough to be counted amongst this brilliant fellowship. I mean, how can you possibly reflect in such a profound way when there are routes to run and stats to count? The answer is…you really can’t. But no so for the snow games. Something about the pace and the atmosphere. You take that time. You look around. You see your brothers. You feel your health and vitality. You acknowledge your luck. When the snow started coming down early in the game – not enough to obstruct the view – just enough to infuse wonder – you looked around – you took it all in. There was no mistaking it or faking it. You’re a kid again.

Actual Game Recap and Week 10 Jewball presentation before the Jesus Bowl.

WEEK 10 – GAME RECAP

It takes a minute to think bring the guy down, don’t look for the flag. It’s a little sloppy and awkward at first. Who am I kidding, it’s sloppy and awkward the whole time. The scoring began with the man most of us would have bet that tackling would come to naturally. Generally, Beast is hyped for the game – and you had the element of some danger and it seems like an obvious fit. We knew that whatever the matchups were – one team would be better at bringing people down than the other – and that team turned out to be Pray’s squad in white. There was just a qualitative difference in their ability to track, wrap up, and bring down. I already spoke about one of the major storylines of the game which was just being out there. But it would be wrong to talk about this game without talking about injuries. And not just the kind that happened during the game. Beast – despite his big offensive numbers – was slowed by his nagging leg injury. Zero sacks on Yaron – and in a game where fumbles were live! Storm was not his usual stormy self. Couldn’t cut. Seemed to be backing off contact. And speaking of cutting, Kut was stretching something out all game and fighting through. Hard to watch. PJs got slammed early in the game, but he shook it off. And then we come to Klink who just had some kind of bad luck. You watch the tape and nothing extreme happens, but apparently his arm popped out while trying to wrap up Prime. So, Klink was done fairly early. Around that time, MK needed a breather – and when he came back he took over at official D. While we do have a result – a winner and a loser – Klink down and MK official changed the dynamic of the game.
At the time, I believe it was 2-0 white. For the same reason – Dark could not tackle. First Beast was able to break free and run 40 yards for a score, then Tom did the same thing. But Tom had one man to beat – Yaron at safety tried to bring him down with a tender hug at the 10 yard line; Tom was having none of it. He started to push Yaron away. Yaron changed his plan, realizing the hug wasn’t going to work – quickly, he decided to tickle Tom gently…but that really set Tom off. Some suggest that Tom was “hugged” and “tickled” in camp and had a violent reaction to the flashback. That is the only way to explain the disrespect he showed toward Yaron by planting him in the snow and walking over him like Iverson to put white up 2-0.
Prime was knocking on the door all day. The dude is tough to ground on a flag week – was not surprising that tackling him was a chore. Yaron mixed his ground game with Prime with his overthrow to Rabin game. The result was a Prime score, making it a 2-1 Game. Pray did not like the close game and took a shot with Beast deep. A stunning rainbow pass that Beast caught in full stride directly over the top and took to the house. Beast had dropped a similarly beautiful ball earlier, so it was nice to make up for it with an even better catch than the first would have been.
And speaking of nice catches, Yaron found a reliable receiver to catch a TD pass for him. PJS! Beating Pray over the top and tracking the ball with his eyes the whol way – dives forward, pulls in a pass and lands in the endzone. 3-2.
Just when the game was getting a little exciting, Pray took care of the tension by running for a score on the very next possession. This giving us a final of 4-2.
Jewball goes to Tom. Why? Pray threw 3 TD passes and scored one. Beast scored two. The reason is because there was a stretch in the middle of the game where it was close and Tom went to another level on defense. He was a bit tentative at the beginning, but once he got going he was a tackling machine and took away the middle of the field from Yaron – stuffing play after play. And that made the difference.

12/27/20

Week 11 – Jewball League Game 3 Recap

I watched the new Wonder Woman last night. Other than it being a waste of time, I made note of the most prominent theme since the movie was playing while Yaron was announcing his season ending injury. SPOILER ALERT: The theme of the movie is that a magical wish granting stone also takes from you what you currently have that is most valuable. Although I am 100% sure that Jewball is not a fictional magical wishing stone, I could not help but feel both blessed and cursed this season. We are halfway through – and it has been one of our best seasons. The positive storylines are overwhelmingly great. Incredible interest in the game. The battle with the soccer guys. The best talent we’ve ever had. EVER. BY A LOT. The return of Marino (and Klink as a “regular”). The addition of a great rookie class. Dobs engagement. The League Weeks. I really could go on. At the same time…..we are missing guys because of Covid. We are losing guys because of injuries. We went from eliminating BOTH to likely needing it. It’s football – injuries happen – but in the past few weeks it has been one after another. I starts to weigh on you. I’m just hoping everyone heals up, rehabs up, and comes back.
WEEK 11 was a League Week and there was a lot of anticipation going in, with the undefeated Ass Men taking on a Feit Club at full power in Game 1. And In Game 2, we had the rising Birds of Pray taking the winless 193 – a team looking to get right. Yaron promising a win and putting his money where his mouth is.
The Ass Men came out with a lot of confidence, with all their talent on both sides of the ball – only Logan missing, but that is a big loss – he is their beating heart. Despite what you may have heard from Gronk, Feit Club is a team loaded with talent, but on Sunday – when it came to offense, they were nearly a one dimensional team – Mighty being the ultimate weapon X on the field.
Ass Men started fast. Opening play was a 40 yard completion to Singer which eventually set up a 4th and short at the Feit Club 32. But Rabin overthrew Munch on the TE rollout and turned the ball over. It would be a while before the Ass Men would sniff the end zone again. Feit was moving the ball easily with Gronk over the middle and screens to Mighty and the O Bros. He did have one receiver struggling to make catches, but I forgot that dude’s name. Feit Club was just picking apart the Ass Men zone. Although it did not always result in a score – as our fearless leader always commands us: BEND (over)! DON’T BREAK! Unfortunately, even with Bin barking at his team from the sidelines, they broke a few times. Mighty got into the secondary deep twice in the first half and both times, Feit found him. On the first of his 3 TDS, Mighty tipped a ball to himself with Singer right on him – Singer looking for the pick – but as Singer committed, the Rat adjusted – and wound up with the ball and no one behind him and the end zone. A few possessions later on the Ass Men 30, Feit sent two WRs deep and Mighty was all alone at the 10. Easy TD. 2-0 Feit Club at the half.
Ass Men made adjustments to start the second half on defense by putting MK in man coverage on Mighty. It proved to stifle Feit’s offensive scheming and the FC started the second half with a number of 3 and outs. Meanwhile Rabin was having some luck with his passing game, hitting Singer down the sideline for 37 yards, which set up a Jordan 40 yard run with great blocking out front to put the Ass Men on the board. It really felt like a momentum shift. But it all fell apart on the very next play. Feit and his pet Rat drove a stake through the Ass Men’s crack. With MK truly draped on Mighty who was flying down the right hash, Feit threw an incredible pass and Mighty made a catch that perhaps only he could make. In traffic between MK and Singer, the ball drops in to Mighty who maintains his throttle and focus to not only catch the ball, but avoid the collision with Singer….and wind up the last man standing, ball in hand…and the field in front of him. A score with twenty minutes left on the clock and Feit Club with a 3-1 lead.
The good news for Ass Men was the defensive really was clicking. Munch and O started bringing tons of pressure and Feit was getting sacked. Outside of a miracle Rat TD, FC had been held down for over 40 minutes. The only question was, will time run out.
Rabin got his team downfield with a Storm run followed by 42 yard Jordan jump ball over Steveo. The drive was capped by a Singer out – stiff arm – and TD. 3-2. But now only 5 minutes left on the clock and Ass Men behind.
Feit Club – who would get final possession regardless – drove the field methodically – but it stalled at the Ass Men 20 yard line. The clock had already run out and FC walked off the field with a hard fought and well-earned W. Ass Men take the L and by the end of the day, 3 teams were 2-1.
Considering the dynamic year he is having already, it is a surprise that Mighty has not gotten a Jewball yet, but today he gets one. 3 scores – 2 of them the kind of plays that only Mighty really makes. None bigger than the most difficult one – that destroyed the momentum AM had built.
Game 2 turned out to be not much of a game. Yaron looked unreal for the time he was in. 3 beautiful passes thrown. One turned into a TD with Sting. The other 2 – quite fittingly and sadly – were dropped. It has been a rough season for Yaron on many levels – none rougher than the most recent twist (no pun intended) – but he has been completely snake bit by inexplicable drops. No matter what team or what time – guys are dropping his passes. He does throw harder than any other QB in the league, but still….WRs need to catch passes. Period.
Until Yaron went down – the 193’s issue was less offense and more defense. Pray and his Birds looked unstoppable on offense. Literally, anything and everything they were trying worked. With weapons like Prime, Ross, Salem, Vegh PJs….he was using them all – completion after completion after completion. The 193 defensive scheme looked lost. And then their season looked lost. There was a party on the sideline trashing Yaron no matter what he did – even though he was doing great – but the party ended….when Yaron was writhing on the ground gripping his knee. He would eventually hobble off the field and head to the Urgent Care. There would be no miracle return this time. No popping back in. This would be a season ender. Wishing you, Yaron, and all our injured players – speedy and full recoveries! The rest of the game was a joke. Ross had a bunch of picks and scores. Same with Vegh. At one point Vegh was so disgusted by the one sided victory, he curled up into the fetal position and rolled around on the turf instead of catching a TD pass. Once again – I will keep the Jewball from Pray – who has his designs on Jewball MVP anyway – due to the standout performance by one of his weapons. That would be Ross. Ross is like Megatron, but likeable.
Who wants WEEK 12? Early, Late, or Both.

1/4/21

WEEK 12 RECAP

Week 12 marked the end of the flurry of games we call Bowl season. A series of 6 games within about 10 days. It’s always great when we can pull off all 6, and this year – once again – we did.

Last Sunday was a cold one but not windy and the sun peaked through the clouds once in a while. The kind of January weather you cannot complain about as a Jewballer.

There was a threat of rain and it was decided to have the 8am game start on time and Game 2 to start immediately thereafter. It kind of happened. The early game did not start on time because someone was a bit late. Guys, we need to enforce punctuality for Game 1, especially for the guys who claim they want both. Anyway, the game started on time-ish and it was once again, the best contest Jewball has going right now. Feit v. Pray. When I arrived it was 2-1 Feit and I was told Beast was in line for a Jewball. Had a score already and a pick. He later would score again. And add a game ending pick. Unfortunately, there are no Jewballs for ties….and this one was another tie. I don’t ever remember our game having this many weeks with tie scores at the buzzer. I don’t remember how Pray tied up the game entirely but I saw Singer make a wicked good grab running up the gut of the defense and gathering in a floating ball from Pray with one arm while fighting people off in the endzone. As pretty a TD as u will see. No stats were had for the rat and he doesn’t get his precious W. Overall….a very good game with an unsatisfying conclusion. On to Game 2 which did see some rain but nothing that made it ever remotely worth canceling.

Rabin in Colora was the starter against Gronk. In short, Rabin was at his worst and Gronk was at his best. Gronk had the swagger of Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes combined. Just totally confident and in control. Running his offense commandingly. He threw a TD to every single one of his recievers….2 to Tom. On the other side, Rabin and Co were struggling. To move the ball. And really to defend. Pulling flags was a disaster. Every run was successful, with the first and second defender encountered coming up empty handed. Colors found themselves in a hole and just staring at their hands wondering why the flags weren’t popping. The rain may have played a factor, but no excuses.

Speaking of no excuses, a QB who can’t move the ball for his team is a problem. So Pray took over for Colors. For a while the dynamic of the game did change. In a span of twenty minutes, Pray threw a TD to Storm, had two P6s and rushed for a score. Colors got within one of Dark. But Gronk just effortlessly piled on. Salem for 50 yards and then a TD on the cross. A shuffle pass to Tom. Pray added a TD with Jordan late but Gronk put up 7 scores and it was too much to overcome. Gronk with the Jewball for leading his team to an impressive offensive explosion. Leagues a comin…..

1/10/21

Week 13 – League Week 4 – Recap

A little more than three years ago, I wrote a woe-is-me recap following a Turkey Bowl during an otherwise lost season. A season where Jewball may have hit its lowest point – having joined Croton – just so that games would be played and the name Jewball would survive. I missed the end of that season with a torn tendon in my finger (courtesy of Goldberg) but….was no great loss. Jewball was no great prize. Fixed the tendon, rehabbed it back….and the past few seasons have been such a miracle – icing on the cake of my career playing this game. Thank you all for giving me a way to get injured that feels entirely worth it as well as the motivation to put in the work and come back better than ever. I have a birthday this Saturday. I will be 43 and ready to kick ass when I come back – whether it be in a month or next season. Long live Jewball.
Week 13 was a League Week and that meant the usual increased intensity going in. We had the heavyweight battle at 8am with Birds taking on Feit Club, followed by a contest between two reeling squads, 193 and Ass Men.
I’ll be honest – it was cold at Lawrence High School at 8am, but I expected a bigger crowd for this bout. I was there….eventually with Sting, but that was about it. Pray against Feit in a game with stakes! Come on, Jewballers! League action at its finest.
But…y’know what? Maybe the fans stayed away because they knew what I did not. That the action would be limited. Sure, there were productive drives – but most of them stalled. And I’m not even sure if I could give credit to either defense. I think the theme for the day was missed opportunities. QBs and receivers just missing their marks. Open targets overthrown. Open receivers not targeted. No need to create the tension where there was none. For the majority of the game, it was all Feit Club. Feit to Mighty for two TDs and two more almost TDs (just out of the reach of Mighty going full blazing speed). Kut and Gronk being super disruptive and sacking Pray off nonstop. Daveo with a timely pick. Even without a game changer in Beast, the Feit Club came to play and cemented themselves as the top team in Jewball 2020-2021. That is not to say that the Birds couldn’t have won this game. Vegh, even with his TD…which only came off a Mighty tip – did struggle a bit early on in making much needed clutch grabs for his Birds. It was Prime being the most reliable and professional of the Birds’ receivers – showing the kind of game needed to get the Birds to the promised land. Goldberg matched that intensity once in the game and it was on that scoring drive – a joyful, gritty display of stiff arming. Ken Yirbu. In the end, it came down to a final drive. Pray and his Birds with an opportunity to tie. Pray, as he did most of the game, earned some very hard fought first downs with his legs (although in my opinion – his success will be measured on him becoming better at getting rid of the ball quicker, throwing from the pocket, and finding that opening man in his first progression) – and with the clock wound down – and a 4th and goal from the 20 he threw a prayer to his tallest receiver. Actually, a catchable ball for Goldberg – but no catch made. Birds lose and I got lucky since I didn’t need to argue about overtime…..or so I thought. Bottom line: Birds and Feit club basically played to a draw, but Feit Club wins because –generally – they wanted it more. Jewballs to Kut and Gronk for the 8 sacks. Keeping Pray from running free, making up for the last minute loss of Beast, and showing what “wanting it more” looks like. Please send a charity each to the main chat. Let’s change the world, Jewballers.
So, let’s address the rules for a second. I respect that clarity is needed. I ask you to respect that there may not be a clear rule – essentially because there has never been. Yes, all Vets are correct – we play last licks. I’m not going to argue that. But let’s also acknowledge that other factors have come into play. The time. Who has to leave. Of course the score (big difference of whether we are playing for the tie or the win). I will begin with the most obvious point: We have never had League Games before. So, with all due respect the Vets, to compare a League Game – which by its nature is different – to the prior 20 or so years of Jewball is already a flawed pursuit. That is first consideration. So what is different between League and non-League. I would look at 2 things 1.) Schedule and 2.) Critical outcome. Two things that matter less in average Week. Meaning, with Leagues….we have 14 people waiting to get on and start on time and because there are seeds, we would like a winner and a loser (of course that didn’t happen in Game 2 for other reasons).
So, without explaining further why I said – if Pray scored, we would go to a tie breaker OT from the 25 (with Feit Club getting ball last) – I am merely here to address and enlighten that additional considerations were at play above and beyond what Jewball “usually” does.
To Game 2. First off, always great seeing Flash return to our game. He brings an energy, warmth, and star quality that truly lights up a field. When he ran around to everyone on the Ass Men to say whats up before the game, Is said, “See…this guy is just too nice.” He looked at me and replied, “Yeah, but I’m also a killer.” Well, it’s true – he is, but so is Munch.
The headline story with Game 2 was Malik and Rabin missing their guys all over the place – occasionally making a big play – and just doing enough to tie. The real story was Solo and Munch – absolutely terrorizing their opposing QBs and collapsing on screens. Munch, with fury and violence. Solo, with violence and fury. Malik, usually a major threat to break off a huge run at any moment was completely kept in check by Munch, MK, and Singer. Rabin was kept in check by putting just a bit too much on the ball. On a play that may have sealed the win for the Ass Men, a flea flicker to Storm set up a pass to Jordan on a 3rd and long, but the pass was over thrown and Jordan tore a muscle leaping for it. A play later, Jordan blew his coverage and Malik found Danny deeeeeep for a 193 score. Afew plays later, Solo tackled Rabin and hobbled the Ass Men QB. With the clock having run, with the injuries and the ineptitude – the two teams had enough – calling it a draw. Congrats to 193 for the non-loss. What to build on.
Who wants Week 14?

1/21/21

Week 14 Recap

On this snowy morning, hard not to think football – and specifically Yaron getting bodied by Tom like a punk ass ho.
But I digress-
Short day for me and short recap. I’m heading down south for a week. Driving, so will make the requisite football stops along the way. Any Panthers or Jaguars fans…hit me up.
I did catch the end of Week 14 Game 1. Y’know there is a part of me that wants to write a whole recap about Pray. The guy is having an MVP season, and I watch him and just think – damn, he could be so much better. Now, that isn’t really fair. I’ve never been as good as him, plus I’m hobbled in the present. So who am I to criticize? But, then I think…I’m not being critical. I’m not even just saying. I’m actually a fan. And I want Jewball to be its best. So when I watch him lose to Gronk in Game 1 by a score of 3-1 and some people are telling me that the teams aren’t fair or whatever….first of all – the teams were fair – yer a bitch. And also….eveyone needs to step up their game. Pray, you say hike….take 5 steps back and start running – mostly to your right. Does it work for you? Sure, the numbers say it does. You win a lot. You produce a lot. But, I guess what I am saying is….you should lose even less! Start thinking – 2 steps back, forget the pressure for 2 seconds….and see….just see everything that is before you. Don’t see the rush. See ALL your options. See that your guys are open all over the place – and unleash that cannon. I promise, good things will happen. A lot more easy buckets. You are just working too damn hard. And I saw while I was there…..Singer gameplanned for you. And he got a Jewball out of it. The key is to neutralize the Singers and Munches of the world by getting rid of that ball in 2 seconds.
Speaking of working too hard, no one makes it easier for himself than Gronk. His understanding of the mechanics of being a QB – the simplification of the data in his mind – jumps off the page when you watch him play. Probably why he is always smirking. He almost doesn’t understand why the opposing QB wouldn’t do exactly what he is doing. Hike, step back, get rid of the ball.
Anyway, I did see the whole Game 2 and it was a good one. Back and forth until the end. The first five possessions were for scores. Some sloppiness on the defense. Whether it be guys sneaking behind the safety (Ross?) or running for extra yards after the catch (Daveo?) It was a lot of Gronk and Storm in the early going for stats. I recall a quintessential Goldberg stiff-arm fest that was just spectacular. Prime was working it with Pray. Honestly, my memory of the details at some point gets hazy. Was really cold and I started talking to Ivry about how we are basically NFL players. Anyway, Gronk was up 5-3 and looking unstoppable on offense. I though the game was over. Think all of a sudden the entire Dark Team decided they didn’t want to lose. Salem and Beast poured on the sacks (2 apiece) and Pray found running lanes. Honestly, in a flash it was 6-5 Dark. The game ended on a Goldberg P6 from Dark’s 8, to make it seem like the game was closer than it was. Prime gets the Jewball for the offensive outburst and the W.
Who wants Week 15?

1/24/21

Week 15 Recap

A PJ’s perspective recap: Jewball has been a staple in my life since I started back in 2007. B-sh invited me to play football little did I know what this 14 year relationship would be. I took a 5 year hiatus in 2013 that I still regret it… but I was starting a new job and had a new kid and I was in so much pain daily. I thought those were my priorities, boy did i forget what Jewball means to so much of us. Seeing what Singer and Steve- O chatted yesterday, each Sunday means so much for all of us. I know that last year when I had a death in my family playing let me clear my mind. And when I had another family albeit distant relatives death this past week from COVID, getting out there and playing in these games is just so cathartic. Love this Jewball family… Ok personal sharing time is over….

This week signups were low with some Jewballers getting tans in Florida, celebrating Simcha’s, and some just recovering from injuries. Gronk backed out to recover and we were left without a QB for game 2. Goldberg steps up by helping game 1 happen with his plus 1 and then saves game 2 when Rami his plus 1 steps in and makes a competitive game 2 at QB…..More on that later.

Game 1 has the matchup of the season. Feels like Aikman vs Young weekly. Usually a close matchup each time. But it’s fun to play when these two gun slingers are on. Pray lined up with Storm, Beast (on time), Tabak, Steve-O, whisky, and Sting vs Feit’s not so much Feit club, but it features Singer, Prime, Goldberg, Rami, Vegh, and PJ’s.

The real feel at game time was probably zero degree’s. I offer everyone breakfast on me not to play but these Jewballers care more about football then hypothermia. Oh F—k you guys for your tans and hot weather. You should all need to sit out a week for that crap. Ok back to the game…. it looks like a classic Defensive battle early. Singers blitzing game plan against Pray early is working. Rami picks up a sack and gets good pressure between him and singer. Sting gets hurt but stays in the game. Feit’s team is just not getting any real yards or completions. Bunch of 3 and outs. But Feit’s defense gets a big picks on Pray by Rami and Prime in the end zone. Nothing seems to be working for either team. Pray throws another ball on the run on Rami has the pick and a return but knocks the ball into the air into the arms of storm who runs it’s all the way and now it’s 1-0 Pray. Feit’s team is still struggling on offense to find rhythm. Beast and whisky are getting in and getting sacks they total 5 on the morning combined. Pray finds Tabak on a nice catch and run to take 2-0 lead. Feit’s team couldn’t grab flags. They also dropped 3 picks, Goldberg, Vegh, and Rami. It’s now 9 am. Singer is trying to motivate his QB and team. Feit drives the team down the field with good short passes to singer and Goldberg. Then he heaves a 30 yard pass to the back of the end zone and hits Prime with 3 balls in for a TD. Next Pray drive singer with a pick 6 and we are all tied at 2. Prager sees the clock and knows that he needs to use up the clock. They are running every play now. Pray to the right or the left and he’s getting first downs. Feit’s team struggling with getting flags and Prays team are blocking. Pray hits Beast on a screen and he goes all the way to take the lead. Feit’s team isn’t able to get anything going and Singer goes down with a knee injury. Feits team is deflated. End of another failed drive. Enters Faux PJ’s who happens to be Prays brother in law. You know when he came in for Singer that only great things would happen and then Pray gets the ball again and runs it’s for a 90 yard TD game over. Pray 4- Feit 2.

Game 2: with Sting being Stung he has to leave and game 2 looks like it will be 6’s. Someone needs to come. So we go to the chat and no one responds. I decided to hang out and play a few drives to allow them to have 7’s for a short time. I ended up leaving for 10-15
Minutes and then returned so no one had to sit. Shalom Bayis rule #1 if you’re going to lie, have every story planned out so it’s believable and you don’t get caught. And check that Primes couch has room. Back to the game… we have Pray coming off a win ready to roll with Storm, Ivry, Vegh, Salem, Faux PJ’s (Josh, Prays brother in law), and PJ’s vs Rami ( who’s a very solid backup QB and overall player, Goldberg did good!), Prime, Goldberg, Tabak, Beast, Whisky, and Jack “freakin” Ross.

This game starts off slow. Both teams trying to find themselves. Rami gets sacked tackled by the real PJ’s on his second drive. Pray is finally able to get going by shitting Storm to take a 1-0 lead. Pray would strike again hitting Ivry and taking a 2-0 lead. Rami didn’t want to go down like this so he abandons his conservative play calling and fakes a run right to find a wide open Jack Ross in the middle of the field who takes to to the house and out runs even Pray for a 70 yard TD. And now we have a game. Pray says to Rami. I’ll use my best target again. Ivry lined up as TE, catches a screen pass and avoids Goldberg and the rest of the team to take a 3-1. Prays is looking like he’s going to have a 2 win day. Prime says no my Birds of Prey teammate, I want this one. Rami hits Prime on a short pass and he avoids 3 tackles and takes it the house to make it 3-2. Pray is stalling though. And Rami gets the ball back with 10 minutes to go. And drives down the field gets to the red zone. But Pray’s Defense is getting pressure and making plays. Forces Rami into a 4th and goal at the 11. Rami looks for one man on this field who has height and hands, throws up a ball in the end zone and of course Ross makes an amazing jumping catch to tie the game. Pray gets the ball back to take the lead and gets a good drive going but is backed up into a 4th a long at the 30 and can’t complete it. Tie ball game.

Game 1- Jewball should go to Beast although he did drop a wide open TD. But he had 2.5 sacks and the go ahead TD.

Game 2- would’ve gone to Ivry or Ross but ended in a tie.

Signup will be when J says so…. Great week of fun everyone. Sting and Singer I hope you heal quickly. We might get Snow next Sunday…

1/31/21

WEEK 16 RECAP

A PJ’s perspective… Another really cold Sunday but as we all arrived for This weeks games, many were very confused. Did Gronk convince, piss off, then bond with Jordan in the games being cancelled due to cold weather? Did Gronk successfully get himself out of the games? Would Gronk even play in these games? Even though he said “OUT”. Was Yaron really coming back? Well I’ll let the story begin.

Yaron made very compatible teams this week. Very impressed with his matchups. Game 1 featured Feit in colors with his FC teammates Mighty and Beast along with Prime, Tabak, Big O, and Sam versus The “enigma” Gronk and his top Cronie Goldberg, along with front runners for MVP in Pray and Storm, Mr. Jewball himself Kut, Held, and PJ’s. Game time temps were 18 degrees but no wind and no sun.

Feits club got the ball first and they were ready to roll. Feit hits Beast and Mighty for a couple of nice gains. But an errant throw down the field is picked off by Pray. Gronk thinks he’s ready to roll but he throws a pick as well right back to Feit. Was this going to be another defensive grind of a game?? Prime says get me the ball and Feit throws it over Held for a beautiful first score. Gronk gets the ball back and he wants to spread the rock around. His best attribute as QB is that he wants everyone to touch the ball. And so he drives his Team down the field, hits PJ’s on a perfect over the shoulder pass in the end zone for a 30 yard TD and we are all tied up. Couple of stalled drives by both teams and then offense really comes on. Feit hits Tabak on a 50 yard run a catch only for Tabak to run out of bounds. Feit then goes on a QB run for a 20 yard TD and regains the lead. Gronk drives it back down the field and hits Kut on a nice 10 yard TD screen to tie it back up. Feit drives it back and hits Mighty for a TD. Gronk responds and hits Pray on 90 yard catch and run. We are all tied at 3. Feit is not deterred and drives them down the field once again, this time he finds beast who breaks some tackles and ends up in the end zone. Up 4-3 with 20 minutes remaining Gronk goes in hurry up mode. Drives the team down the field and somehow hits Goldberg between two defenders for a TD. Goldberg lost his Fanny pack but held on to the ball. Feit wants to win and beat Gronk his teammate on FC. No QB controversy on the front runners for the chip. But he forgets that a certain Bird is watching and waiting. Pray picks off Feit. Gronk then finds Pray for the game winning TD. Game over 5-4 Gronk.

Jewball game 1 should go to Pray. 2 TD’s receptions and 2 picks. Gronk is honorable mention who played a very solid QB, threw 5 TD’s and 1 pick.

Game 2 this week almost didn’t happen, signups were lacking but Yaron got his main squeeze and fellow 193 Compadre in Solo to sign up. Then he got Danny in as well. Ivry signed up and we were all good to go!!

Yaron has been praying for his return to happen ever since he got hurt. To be serious for a second. Yaron is not just an amazing QB but he has brought great talent to Jewball, he made us website. He also Keeps track of stats for Mighty, and brought the controversial league into Jewball life. He’s done a lot for Jewball. Outside of Jordan our Commish there aren’t too many dedicated people like Yaron. I personally was happy to see him back. Which is why I offered to play D. We all know my talent level isn’t anywhere near Yaron but we need him healthy for himself and for better football. An argument can be made that he shouldn’t of played this week and he should keep resting, but that was his call.

Yaron lined up with Gronk, Beast, Solo, Ivry, Salem, and Danny. PJ’s was Defense for Yaron. Vs Pray with Some of his birds, Prime and Goldberg along with Ross, Storm, Kut, and Whisky. Yaron started the game with some handoffs and short throws but this led to stalled drive. Pray was using his talent and moving down the field. Pray fakes a run and finds a wide open Whisky who catches and runs for a 40 yard TD. 1-0 Pray. Yaron knows he got talent. So he looks towards Gronk who tries to one hand a throw that lands in his teammates Ivrys hands and he’s off to the races and we are tied up. Ivry picks off Pray on the next drive inside the 20. Yaron showing some rust stalls out at 3 yard line. Pray utilizes Ross and finds him deep and he’s off to the races and takes the lead back 2-1. Yaron answers driving his team down the field. Hits Ivry on a beautiful 30 yard sideline bullet to Ivry and then Finds Salem who makes a diving catch keeping the ball off the ground at the 10 yard line. Yaron bullets it in Gronk. We are tied back at 2. Pray isn’t deterred. The man defense set up by Yaron’s team is just no match. Pray decides to take matters into his own hands and out runs everyone for a long TD run. Yaron answers though with strike to Beast. We are all tied. You know it’s strange that Storms name hasn’t been mentioned much today well he missed a few interception opportunities but he was laser focused on offense. Pray finally finds Storm in the end zone to take a 4-3 lead. Yaron stalls out. Kuts and Whiskeys pressure finally does some damage. Pray wants to end this game at 11:05 and so he drives his team down the field and hits a wide open Goldberg for a 50 yard catch and touchdown. Yaron isn’t ready to go down like that. He gets the ball and is ready to drive. Unfortunately Whisky gets hurt taking down Beast on first down catch. PJ’s come in. Yaron is forced into a 4th and long and is sacked by PJ’s to end the game. Tough loss for Yaron but it’s just great to see that gunslinger out there.

Game 2 Jewball should go to Pray as well. 4 TD passes and rushing TD as well. Kut had 2 sacks as an honorable mention.

2/7/21

WEEK 17 RECAP

For me, Week 17 started on the road between Savannah, Georgia and Baltimore, Maryland. Week 16 had been played and the discussion turned to Week 17, which was supposed to be one of two consecutive (and final) League Games. But snow was in the forecast. A lot of it. Some reports called for 18-22 inches. I made the rookie leadership mistake of throwing in my two cents from a distance. Without seeing or knowing the situation on the ground, I predicted that there would be no game. I had been forced off the road in Baltimore – just 3.5 hours from home – to regroup and see what the storm would bring. It was heavy but not a record breaker. Meanwhile, Week 17 started for Singer about the same time I “unofficially” called off the game. He went from “In J We Trust” to “THE FUQ?” He was right to do so. Even when Jewball was cursed for a few years, it was blessed. Never should we be pessimistic when it comes to Jewball. If this season has proven anything – it is that Jewball transcends obstacles. Notice….I did not say overcomes obstacles. We do that too. But, this season was more than that – this season – we have been transcendent. I will save the sweeping brushstrokes for the final recap, but after a Magical Season and a Miracle Season….2020-2021 has been the Dream Season. Not a dream in the sense that it is some perfect manifestation of our collective fantasy, but a dream in that – it has been – above all else – surreal. We will think back on this season one day and remember all the other-worldly moments….and then say…Wait…Was the one during the pandemic?? And it will be impossible to process the notion. Again…more for later…
But how can I not “tease” the final recap of the season after a Week 17 that saw what we saw on that field? And not just on the field, but in the days leading up to the game and in the hour or so that followed?
In the days leading up to the game, despite reports of Ice Bowls and some “Outs” due to tackle, Singer rounded up some hearty souls – Singer was out of his mind – the chat version of a seizure for a few minutes there – and it was glorious! But the man with the most stickers willed us a game. Again, never underestimate those powerful Jewball vibes. That Jewball transcendence. Did you see it? Did you see the sunshine on Thursday and Friday? Melting that snow – just enough…then more than enough. Did you see the weather reports of rain and freezing temps overnight on Saturday? And where did they go? I don’t know. All I know is – there was no rain. There was nothing. There was Jewball transcendence.
When I did not think there would be a game, I threw out the idea of a meet up by the field for some kind of pre-Super Bowl drinks and wings. Now, we all know the BBQ mythology with Jewball. We say we will do something – like a BBQ – we never do it. That’s the joke. It’s also the reality. But, reality is out the window amid the Dream Season. What is real? What is a dream? As I watched Kut and PJs and Daveo roll vehicle onto a football field! Taking out tables! And BBQs! And bags of wings they prepared for our bothers! And Logan – vaccinated and raring to go with his match light coals! And Steveo with his tent, z’l. And then O and Legs with beers! And E just to bring LOVE! With the snow falling in pristine waves bestowing the atmosphere with a gleaming coat like an alien landscape. Well….my brothers….I have to ask you – in all seriousness – is this a dream or is this reality?? As I sit there in my chair watching an absolutely terrific football game – full of passion, and skill and intensity – a competiveness, a drive, athleticism and spirit – and Yaron is in the game! Last seen writhing on the floor and out for the season, right? And he is competing and smiling and back where he belongs. And BD is there – my warrior contemporary from the Golden Age who has emerged from a long slumber and joined our ranks once again. And O – my blood and my blood – has agreed to flip the wings that Daveo and Kut made and brought on the grill that Kut brought – cooking on the coals that Logan brought – under the tent that Steveo brought – so that I can watch the end of the game – and out of the white wilderness trudges Legs, squinting and beaming with his mustard ski cap askew – and he hands me a beer. I ask if he has a bottle opener and he replies it is a twist off – alas it is…And we watch our brothers play down to the wire. So, again….I ask you – Is that the stuff of a collective dream or has that been our lived-in reality?
The day itself started appropriately enough with Beast showing up at 8am for a 9am game and wondering where everyone was. The good news was, he was able to check the field and confirm that it was playable for our tackle game. Singer had composed the teams the night before and it looked to be an all-out brawl. Yaron returning to lead his squad of BD, Tom, Kut, MK, Logan, and Beast. He would face off against his young protégé who many are calling the season MVP, Pray, calling signals for Prime, Daveo, Singer, Steveo, PJs, and Storm.
I’ve said it before – I’ll say it again now – there is nothing like the primal thrill of the tackle game. And since we only play it in the snow (and it always seems to be snowing during the game) – it is has an added charge of the cold, and wet, and majesty…combined with the rush of the violence and physicality…and – let us not forget – fun. In other words, the players were really amped up for this one. But none more than Singer. He really was like a giant Siberian husky let out of the house for the first snowfall of the season. He was just elated. His glee and energy were off the charts.
Yaron took ball first and relied heavily on his bruiser Tom, who becomes the ultimate weapon in snow games. It’s like he grows a foot and his reach is everywhere. He is nearly impossible to tackle one on one. Although I missed it, the drive ended with a Logan passing TD. I also missed Pray’s first drive, but I did catch the end of it – a roll out strike to Singer in the back of the endzone. An NFL quality play in my estimation. If there was one guarantee on Sunday, it was – the prettier the play, the less likely I had my camera at the ready.
The nice thing about the field conditions on Sunday in terms of playing the game was that, there was just enough snow to justify tackle, but certainly not enough snow to really limit the routes. Guys were moving at good speeds. You could cut and everything. So while a tackle game always allows for exciting runs and screens, the deep game was still available.
I’m going to ask for PJs to fill in some of the gaps here (or at least round up the Top Plays), but I know that Yaron bounced back with a TD to Tom, which was followed up by a game tying score on a 30 yard jump ball to Singer. Singer then put his stamp on the game by picking Yaron from his 5 on a stupefyingly cool leap from the middle line-backer position where Singer jumped the route and while closing in on the QB, snagged the ball out of the air and in a fluid motion tumbled into the endzone. The crowd lost their minds. Yaron was down 3-2 and Singer was off to a phenomenal start.
At this point I was told to start getting the tailgate ready. Off I went. That’s when O showed up and helped me figure out the apparatus that Kut brought, because….y’know….simply bbqing like a pedestrian is beneath him. Don’t worry, I got the last laugh by leaving a burning coal on his table and putting a hole in it.
So what happened while I was prepping? Well, I know Daveo scored for Pray. And Beast for Yaron. I believe Daveo’s score gave Pray a 1 TD lead with 5 minutes left on the clock. But, the ball had popped! Someone else can explain that. It had something to do with Tom. Steveo quickly replaced the ball and Yaron drove the field to keep the game going – and he did score! How?? I don’t know! I was manning the Q. I do know that everyone wanted to keep playing, regardless of the perfectly cooked wings waiting for them. Pray was given a “last-licks” drive to win the game in regulation. And he did so. This I saw. Some runs by Pray and finally a swing out to Prime with Singer lead blocking. A score to win it for MVPray and what I was told was an absolutely epic game. Plus no injuries! Those who played get the memories. The rest of us get to be jealous. It sure looked like a special experience to be out there.
Jewball is to Singer – who owned this dream within a dream from start to finish. From the initial chat-insistence that the game will be played, to the 3 scores – to the lead blocking that sealed the W. He was also flying around making tackles like a fiend. He displayed every single quality that we want a Jewballer to emulate. The positive energy plus the superior talent on the field. Singer, one of the most wholly-earned Jewballs we have ever given out. It comes with our appreciation for you efforts this past week.
And what of the tailgate? Did it come off well? Enough food? How was it? How were PJ’s poppers? How were the wings (and shout to B-sh for releasing his secret recipe for our benefit)? How was it seeing BD finally making eggs? I mean….again…and again….and again….this season has blurred the lines between what is real and what isn’t. Our unity under that tent in the snow just confirmed it. The smell of smoke stuck to my jacket once again confirmed it. Jewballers, we are living a dream. May it continue. Who wants Week 18?

WISDOM FROM A VET

-by Kuti

Status check:
Head, no pain.
Neck: 100% range of motion. Pinched nerve still there.
Shoulders: Left side is fine. Right side has a slight throbbing.
Arms: Left side ok. Right side, tingling pain and numbness from pinched nerve.
Wrists: Full rotation. Good. Continued pins and needles.
Hands. Left side, good. Right side, unable to bend middle and ring finger, otherwise ok.
Chest and ribs: Pain in top right rib, prob bruised, not broken.
Back: Lower back pain. Nothing 5 minutes of stretching can’t work out.
Legs: Throbbing pain in left thigh, (The kind that hurts if you try to use the stairs or stand up.) otherwise good.
Ankles, mostly ok, as long as tendons don’t get caught in the wrong place. (Then it hurts like hell until you can readjust.)
Toes, big nail has turned purple, doesn’t hurt anymore. (Now just need to wait for it to fall off and new one to grow in.)
Safe to get out of bed.

As the great (Future MVP) Singer has stated, once you get things going, the pain kind of goes away. But let’s pause for a moment, you’d think with all the pain that we go through, the injuries and the soreness, we’d just stop. At a certain age you gotta be an adult and make the mature decision to stop putting your body in situations it shouldn’t be in.
We’ve seen what happens to guys that stop playing. They get old. Really really quickly. They have the same pain, and even worse, regret.
Every year there is the famed Vets Rooks game. The question many have is “Am I a Vet yet?” (No one asks, “Can I still be a rook?” except for MK) To be labeled a Jewball Vet is to be accepted into a pantheon of dedicated diehards and derelicts. We know that once you are in the Jewball family, you will never rarely be asked to leave. As this season has shown more than ever, we come together and support each other on and off the field. Once you become a veteran, it means you gave something to the game, something more than a dollar for spray paint. As a matter of fact, I don’t recall money ever being asked for or requested. When something is needed, guys step up and offer. You give your time, energy and pain. You figure out a way to have your wives, girlfriends, families be ok with you leaving every Sunday morning for 2-3 hours. I know for me, I have given up my right to complain. If I get hurt, don’t bring the pain home. Suck it up and take whatever meds you need to.
Being a vet means teaching the younger generation what it takes to survive. You need to teach the younger generation that we are here to have fun, here to play competitive football, here to bring it every single down. But we also need to be able to go back home and carry on our mundane non-jewball aspects of life. We need to go to work tomorrow, we need to be able to help with our kids, we need to be able to function. So, some of you rooks need to learn how to flag grab, you need to learn that if it’s not a snow game, you DO NOT TACKLE. You want to stop a run, make a play. But if you go in with the intent to take a man down, the vets will not be happy. Not only are you hurting a player, you are hurting the game. Next, if you get hurt on a play, you take a minute, collect yourself and get back in there. Now, I’m not saying if you get seriously injured, like a ruptured tendon of dislocated patella. Yes, if that happens, sit the hell down. And stay out until you’re healed up.
Watching the video recaps yesterday, the most common thing heard was Jordan yelling “Go down!” “He’s Down” “Get down!” Why would he keep yelling that? I don’t know if he even realized he was doing it. I‘d like to offer a suggestion. Commish has been playing this game longer than 98% of the guys to have ever played Jewball. He has seen the beginning, the middle, the dark and current. He also sees the future. I’d venture to say that the average age of the VETS this season is significantly higher than ever before. Watching guys play tackle is a beautiful and scary thing. It’s fun to watch but players can get injured at any moment. So when J is standing on the sidelines, he is protecting the past and future of Jewball. He wants, needs to see the vets stay healthy, he needs the rooks to stick around. As he has said many times, you need new, young blood for the game to last.
As I contemplate finally getting out of bed, as painful as it will be, I think to myself. The real question if I am a VET or not is something we should all ask ourselves; “Does Jewball need me or do I need Jewball?

2/14/21

Week 18 Recap

As I watch my car being buried in snow as this deposition drones on in the background, I am getting more excited to bring the pain on Sunday as we play and celebrate Vets Rooks 2021. At the same time, the crew here wants a Recap. I look back to Week 18…and what do I see? Tom was completely broken. Crushed ribs – could hardly breathe – sleepless nights in agonizing pain. Of course he was IN but only if it was tackle. Eventually he opted out and Rabin and Dobs jumped in late to give us, not only a tackle game, but our first 8 on 8 of the season.
When I got to the field, the messaging was clear: Yaron sucks. Now, was this true? Of course not. It’s a chat meme. At the same time, he was off to a rough start. Some mix of fumbles and picks on his first two possessions – both leading to scores. Pray had a pick 6 to get the party started, I believe. Either way, it was 2-0 with a little more than an hour to go.
Within minutes of my arrival, I was able to observe the bad luck Yaron was having and the momentum that Feit and his crew was riding. Yaron, down but never out, pitched the ball to Prime to get something good going – as is often the case when Prime gets the ball in a tackle game. But Snow Pup Singer is out of his mind when the field is covered in snow. You would think the white stuff was cocaine and he was inhaling it throughout.
He leaps on Prime’s back and yanks his arms apart. The ball is loose! Beast recovers – and things are only getting worse for Yaron. Even when he calls a safe play, things go horribly wrong. Now, let’s look at the other side of the ball. Feit, drops back….gets sacked by Kut – no wait….forces a fumble….this could be a huge gain for Yaron if one of his players jumps on the ball. Maybe can run it back for a score. But, now – Prager picks the ball up and throws a floating 45 yard TD pass! Was the TD called back because the rule was not clear? Yes. But, the contrast between the two fumbles spoke volumes. Feit did eventually convert the turnover into points by having Singer run it up the gut. (FYI – In tackle games, we play one ball in the endzone).
Yaron came out swinging on the next drive – looking to make sure the game would not become a laugher – even if the win seemed out of reach. With a deep ball to MK who leaked out from the wing, his crew was in position to score. Mighty made a great tackle on MK to save a TD, but Yaron did put in the endzone by hooking up with MK again a few plays later. 3-1 Feit.
The momentum really seemed to shift when Storm leaped over Singer to pick a ball meant for Beast. The defensive stat gave Yaron the ball and really short yardage to go to make it a one score game. Unfortunately, Feit and co. put together a goal line stand that likely ended the game for Yaron. Mainly because time was running out for the comeback.
Feit made the comeback even more difficult by refusing to slide on defense any more. The non-score by Yaron turned into a full field drive by Feit capped off by a jump ball TD to Singer, our Jewball winner. 4-2 Feit on top.
With about a half hour to go Yaron put together a Gronk-esque drive consisting of simple calculated plays (outs to Kut who can rumble for big yards with the best of em) and miracle heaves (Rabin making 3 catches on the drive – one of them on 4th and long). The drive ended on with a Kut TD. Down two scores with little time left, the odds were heavily stacked against Yaron. His weak start was going to haunt him.
The nail was hammered into the coffin as Feit drove the entire field and put up a final point.
All Yaron could do was attempt to make it closer. He did so, with a game ending TD to Prime.
I don’t apologize for the lack of passion in this recap. My passion is reserved for Sunday. Beware ye Rooks.

2/21/21 Recap – VETS ROOKS 2021

Vets Rooks is always over-hyped. It was created over fifteen years ago, not just to lend some gravitas to the final weeks of the Jewball season, but to also act as a State of the Union. The Vets represented where we have been. The Rooks stood for where we are going. It was an opportunity to invite out all our players and create a match that spoke to what we cherish most about Jewball. The respect for those who played before us – the exclusivity of a club we call Jewball Vets. But also to engage our newest members. Rooks are our lifeblood. Without them, Jewball would stagnate, atrophy – and die.
The fact is though, it was historically a pretty terrible and one-sided game. The trash talk going into the game was always fast and furious, with the Vets talking about needing to change the Rookies’ diapers. The Rookies claiming the Vets were washed up has-beens. And when the game was played, the Rookies were always right. For the first decade of the game, Jordan, Yakir, Joey, Rabin, B-sh, Show, and Marino tried to beat the Rooks…and always failed. We could not keep up with them. Whether it was the Ike, Uri, Klink, Dorothy, BD class. Or the Mighty, O, Socks, PJs, Steveo, Zez class. Or the Snow, Singer, Kut, Tom, Munch class. Rooks were young, quick, and athletic. The Vets had experience and heart….but….who were we kidding? We could not keep up! The games were often a joke. And even if they weren’t, the Vets lost.
Enter the Revolution. And all of sudden, the Vets are loaded – and it is a game – for the first time. Why? Because those talented Rooks who embarrassed us Vets for all those years…are now one of us. And this does not take away anything from the extremely talented Rookie class we have now – but….for the past three years – as you all by now know – the Vets have asserted dominance over the Rooks.
This is a roundabout way of saying that, although Vets Rooks 2021 wasn’t much of a game – a 4-0 Vets win – it is not the first blowout. It’s just the first blow out in the past few years. And there is an argument to be made that the tables have turned. Those prior exceptional classes have stuck with us (always – I never forget – and I’ll let the emotion overcome me next week when I write the final recap – THANK YOU for sticking with us) – and now the Vets are formidable. They seem like they will be for years to come.
A game that at first looked like it might be a doubleheader of Vets Rooks games turned into one game as the snow fell and stayed on the field – and did NOT become ice – just crunchy – which allowed us to play our first ever Vets Rooks tackle game.
On paper, there was no reason to think that this game would be anything but an all out brawl. One that would go down to the wire. For the Vets, Gronk – an extremely loyal, if not controversial, Jewballer, since his debut in 2017 – was named Captain in his first game for the Vets. The kid oozes talent and has grown as a player before our eyes. He probably has a thousand tricks left in his bag, which we will be fortunate to witness over his career. He certainly earned his Captain status on the field. His team was, for lack of a better word…stacked. Mighty, Snow Pup Singer, Steveo, BD, Daveo, PJs, Rabin, Kut, Tom, Jordan, Munch, and O. Yikes. You’d think…unbeatable? Maybe so, but the Rooks roster looked like this: Yaron (Jewball MVP 2019), Prime (Jewball MVP 2020), Prager (Jewball MVP 2021….wait…sorry…premature), Beast, Storm, Logan, Salem, Dobs, Sting, E, and Solo. I mean….this is a team brimming with talent and potential. Was certainly an “Any Given Sunday” challenge where either team could wrestle the W from the other.
In a way, this remained true throughout most of the game. Even though the final score says 4-0 which make it seem that the Rookies did not have chance, if the game is broken down – it really could/should have gone either way.
Let’s take a look:
The Rooks started with the ball and with a commitment to the run. Prime was naturally the biggest threat on the field in that regard. An extremely sturdy and destructive ball carrier who can bulldoze through most. With Sting neutralizing Jordan with interference, Prime bullied his way to a first down. But the Snow Pup made sure it was the only one the Vets would gain. Yaron – who once again – and it is near nauseating at this point – was plagued by drops – including one on the opening drive which would have been a sure first down – could only walk off the field wondering if he was destined to have another rough outing. The Rooks took over around midfield.
Gronk took the ball for his fellow Vets with the confidence of a, well, Vet. Although he was by far the youngest Vet, he showed a leadership beyond his years. The first drive was steady. Gronk does not mix it up unless the defense forces him to. Coasting on a steady diet of Mighty and Singer – because why not when such weapons are at your disposal – the Vets’ first possession resulted in a score. But not in the way anyone would have expected. A 15 yard pass to Singer was tipped by the Snow Pup as the defense collided with him at the same time as the ball (foreshadow!) – the ball bounced off his fingertips and landed in the snow. ALMOST! Because Mighty on the spot, dove full extension and reclaimed the ball from incompletion oblivion – pulling it in and landing in the endzone. “I caught it”, he yells. “We know.” And the score is 1-0 Vets.
So, the Vets – it can be argued – got a cheap one. Sure they are up, but it was a fluke one might argue. The Rooks had no reason to despair. However, on the very next drive….after moving the ball soundly for 55 yards, Yaron underthrows a ball and Steveo is there to pick it in the red zone. It would be the first of 3 back breaking picks Yaron would throw on the day. All three when his team was poised to score. But he wasn’t the proximate cause – as we say in the law – of his team’s demise. The defense was somewhat porous. Gronk moved the ball with fluidity all day. Rabin was a huge x factor. Just left open…and making catches for gains. The second Vet score was a beautifully designed bootleg to Singer. Many claim it was Mighty’s call. Or at least Mighty said so after the TD. 2-0 at the half. No reason to think the Rooks wouldn’t get right back in it. But they just didn’t. Why? Because there was blame to go around.
Beast couldn’t haul in a big 1st down catch that might have been a TD if he stayed on his feet. Sting dropped one in the endzone that was reminiscent of an Eddie drop last year that devastated the Rooks’ hopes. Dobs caught one in the back of the endzone but his feet were on the line.
With these missed opportunities, it wasn’t just points off the board, but it was a dearth of momentum perpetuating other near misses. Meanwhile, Gronk started to mix in PJs and Tom – each true Vets having hella good seasons. PJs and Tom…proving that you stick with the damn game because maybe your best years are ahead of you! Maybe yours 20s was just you getting started. And look at them now. Popping off big plays and serving up poppers. Gronk snuck in a ball to Tom that Pray had a nice read on, but missed a P6 by a split second. Another momentum changer that vanished in a flash. Tom gets a 1st down. And another on a one handed grab. And then PJs muscling his way to a chill inducing almost score. Eventually Gronk makes it 3-0 finding Mighty leaking out from the 4 yard line.
By now, there are only 20 minutes left and Yaron is despondent on the sideline. He takes himself out of the game. Pray gets some garbage time reps, but it goes no better. A deep ball loses steam and Singer is there to pick it. Gronk throws an NFL quality pass to Singer in the endzone a play later but Prime attacks and the bang bang play results in dropped ball (arguably the second TD saved by Prime’s safety prowess – a goal line pass to PJs was controversially negated earlier). Gronk would eventually get to the point by finding BD – MY VET! – over the middle on a zipped in pass that BD plucks from the sky.
So, as this recap shows – it could have gone either way. But, perhaps the difference between a Vet and a Rookie is the elimination of Rookie mistakes. Who knows? Maybe it just was a football game that swung in the favor of an excellent team.
Our Jewballs are going to two players this week. Each are earning it for special performances on a specific side of the ball. To Steveo, for his defense. Singer plays like an ecstatic puppy. You play like a lion. Ferocious, majestic, proud. You make us all proud as well. You bring so much to our game and really to our lives. Jewball to you my friend. Steveo Island is real. Your pick in the back of the endzone was as poetic and vibrant as your rhymes. An absolute honor to be on the same field as you.
As humble as Steveo is…Gronk is someone I try not to compliment too much. I have no idea what goes on in his head – if he is modest or arrogant – crazy or sane – soft or hard – but this past Sunday….he stepped the F up. I consider myself lucky to have been on the sideline for many of the offensive sets – to just watch and appreciate a man mastering his abilities. Playing without fear.
Let me digress for a second. This is a tackle game…so fear is an element. There are people coming after you. Big angry people. Like Solo, and O, Beast, and Munch and Kut….so….because they rarely get the headlines – shout out to these warriors. Munch, for just showing up for us. Your mere presence is powerful. O – you were in rare form. Like I said – it was like the clock was turned back 13 years and we were playing Chabad. Kut – you are our forever role model of a grinder. Now, let me get to Beast and Solo – and I want to commend them….while really putting Gronk on the pedestal. They were all over him. Our line tried to protect him, but….Solo and Beast? C’mon! These guys are machines out there. So they got to the QB. Plenty. But, Gronk really was a wizard out there. Keeping his eyes up – not folding – taking hits – making smart decisions over and over again. I really found a new level of respect for Gronk this past Sunday. Jewball to you as well.

For those who wanted this game to be more competitive….I guess I apologize. No, I can’t. It was played. It was won by the Vets because they earned it. We can run it back next year. I know we all talk smack going into the game and some of it is true…but it is ALL LOVE. We are Vets. We are Rooks. We are one Jewball. Who wants Week 20!

2/28/21

Week 20 RECAP

Jewball is in limbo. As the Dream Season has concluded, we have arrived at a moment without finality or resolution. Why? Because the Dream Season is never quite real. It remains an elusive, almost phantom sequence of events that have linked the sun-drenched days of September to now…somehow connecting us – one game at a time – to the present. An elegant (not random!) series of moments – some so extraordinarily beautiful that our hearts could explode in awe and appreciation – creating an unbreakable chain. So here we are. A Week 20 Recap. But….I’m not an emotional wreck just yet. Because the Dream Season is a season of firsts. Should I talk about them? I should….but I won’t. How could I not? This is the Week 20 Recap! The SEASON RECAP! Where we celebrate the highs and lows and regret none of it except that all things must end. Even the best and sweetest of things. But this is not the Season Recap, this is just the Week 20 Recap. Because for the first time in our proud Jewball history – we are not done after Week 20. We have a postseason to play. We have a League Champion to crown. Will it be the talented misfits of Feit Club? The grizzled and gritty Ass Men? The under-the-radar-flying Birds of Pray? Or the hard luck and winless 193? We shall see…3/21 we regroup and see our brothers once again. So, today is not a day for heartbreak. Sure, it’s troubling that another season has come and gone – and what a remarkable season it has been…BUT…we talk about all that another day. Today, we just recap a game.
The games were played back on the turf. The first non-tackle game in what felt like a month. Gronk had been out of this game for at least a month. The early game was locked in once again with a Pray v. Feit affair and the back and forth rivalry swung this once and final time to its origin – with Feit besting Pray. The final was 2-0, Feit on top. He rode his FC crew to the W, dishing TDs to Mighty and Beast. I didn’t see much of the game but I did see Mighty make some sick grabs that reminded me what a dominant player that kid is. On the other side….not much. I know Singer and Beast are now out with Covid, so….feel better guys. Good time to get it : ) We have 2 more weeks until the playoffs.
Game 2 was Rabin v. Yaron. Even though Pray was on the field, Rabin – a man who played with the Oracle and is still battling – gets the start, to prove himself once again. In fact, he and Yaron – both starters – had moments this season that looked like they were done for the season, if not for their careers (I’d add myself to that list, but Kut will kiiiillll me). But, naaah. There they were. Each had been back for a few games. Showing once again that Jewballers don’t just overcome obstacles this season – we transcend them.
I have to be careful with this recap. Rabin won the game 4-2. I want to explain more or less what happened while not trying to make Yaron think he was that bad or Rabin think he was that good. The fact is, Yaron made a lot of mistakes. Rabin made very few. Both QBs actually threw a nice ball on Sunday. Both QBs though seemed to be throwing to the same team – Rabin’s. Rabin did a good job picking on the weakness in Yaron’s defense – which happened to be our being undersized. He moved the ball very well with the big handsy target that is Jack Ross. When it came to scoring TDs, he mixed it up. Got one to Eddie. One to Pray as well on what seemed like a broken play and a hail mary. Regardless, he had Solo and O to protect and lead block, and Rabin looked like he is ready to take the Ass Men to the Promised Land (AMEN!) Yaron was down 4-0 before he could catch his breath. Was there a dropped TD pass by Taaaabbbaaaaak early on? Yes. Maybe a late one to Prime that slipped through his hands after Beast ran interference? Could be. But the story of the day was Yaron’s inability to complete a productive drive without turning the ball over. Pray picked him 3 times, one of them for a P6. Beast got him as well. And PJS picked one at the 5, setting up Rabin for any easy score. The momentum was just always broken by a pick. We can look at the positives of any performance, but in terms of Ws and Ls, Yaron did not give his team a chance in this one.
Will he bounce back for the 193 in a few weeks when we play our first post-season game ever in Jewball history? It remains to be seen. For now, I am troubled that I send this recap off without a sign up to follow, but also take solace in the reassurance that the Dream Season is not over.

—————-

2020-2021 SEASON RECAP

I never associated the Jewball season with Passover. Passover is spring. Jewball is winter. We’ve wrapped up around Purim a number of times. This year is different. A combination of League Playoffs pushing us into a post-season era and Passover coming on exceptionally early in the calendar year. And here we are. Recapping the season that was on the doorstep of a holiday that – more than any other – is about storytelling. What is a seder if not a recap of the Exdous. And just as a great seder is meant to make those in attendance feel like they were there (are there), a great recap brings it all flooding back. The moments that made our hearts leap, or broke our spirits, or moved us to scream our lungs out. But there is another connection. Passover reminds us that a great recap is not just for those who are part of the story or even those telling the story. It is just as much about to whom the story is told and to whom the story will be told. In other words, it’s about the continuity of an unbreakable chain.
We recap a season when it comes to an end, but I imagine this season recap being inserted as a link, connecting last year to the year before, and so on, all the way back to the unwritten recaps that flicker and dance in the mind of the Oracle when he drives by a patch of grass with cones set up. But when I imagine this chain, it is not horizontal – in a linear plain from past to present. It runs vertically, from foundation to future. Because each season builds on the last. There is no Silver Age without the Bronze. No Gold without the Silver. And so on and so on, until we reach our current era. We call this era The Revolution, but The Revelation would be just as apt. And I say that we are always building on prior seasons because I feel that it is no coincidence that this era was immediately preceded by The Dark Ages. I can’t explain why that is. Why we needed to suffer through the brink of extinction to arrive at our unprecedented level of success. It just happens to also be a very Passover sentiment. To appreciate a narrative arc where we start with disgrace and degradation – and we end with glory. From shame to salvation.
Hakaras Hatov first. Jewball stands on the shoulders of those who played before us, but this current era is built mainly on the work of Yaron. From the recruiting, to the on field talent, to his chat game, to the jerseys, website, stats, set up, awards, and League – hate on him all you want (seriously, we encourage it), but at the end of the day – Jewball is his world – we are just playing in it. Thank you, Dr. Bron.
It’s rare that I get to recap a season without recapping the final game of the season as well. I mean, I guess I can recap the League Playoffs. I didn’t see the semi of 193 v. Feit Club, but….we all know what happened. UPSET. The winless 4 seed knocked off the best team in the League. How? Why? I don’t care what anyone says – the reason is – Yaron is good. Sting looked like he decided to stop the drops and catch everything. Flash is a game changer. And football. It’s an Any Given Sunday sport. Meanwhile, another “upset” was brewing on Field 2. That would be the 3 seed Birds of Pray beating the 2 seed Ass Men soundly. Ass Men were turning the ball over and could not put up points. Truth is, Ass Men have not had their sh** together in a while. The defense could only hold off the very talented Birds for so long. In the finals, 193 put up a fight, but the Birds were unstoppable on this day. And, honestly, as much as I love every player and every team in this League….the Birds are like the most likeable team ever. Even without Wilmer and Zada there, you just had this squad loaded with talent and personality. Honestly, it’s like a team of Muppets. A bunch of zany Muppets who can dominate you in football. That’s the Birds of Pray. Vegh lead the way with 3 scores and 2 picks taking Finals MVP honors, but Legs was everywhere, Dobs pulls flags like a fiend, PJs is a strategizing savant, Goldberg is the enforcer, Prime is a killer, Salem we will get to, and Pray is the crescendo of this symphony.
Final note on the League is that it was a success. Not perfect. Not beloved by all. But it was a success and it should be back. It was just one of the many surreal aspects of this season that made it the Dream Season. Before we get to that….let’s not forget that we started this week on the turf and then moved to the grass and then almost got thrown off the grass. One phone call from Rabin and games were back on. So, although Bin could not perform on the field this week, he performed spectacularly off of it. Thank you, Rabin. For taking care of us on Sunday. Personally, when I thought my injury was a career ender. And really just for being the guy that connects us all to the roots of this game.
So, the Dream Season. I admit, I’ve been on a bit of what would seem like a marketing binge. Two seasons ago, The Miracle Season, last year the Magical – this year…the Dream. But, Jewball has never been one to self-promote. We entertain ourselves, sure. But we grow organically. The names…just happened. I’m not going to repeat myself – not only because I expressed it better in a prior recap, but also because we all lived it. We all recognize with eyes wide open what a dreamlike experience the past six months have been.
I have said the following many times. If you go back to the earliest of Jewball Chronicles, you will find this idea: Jewball attracts the best people. BUT Jewball can only survive with good football. While, I believe some in our history valued Jewball primarily for the social element, and even questioned when it was too “serious” or “competitive” and called such qualities anti-Jewball….I will always vehemently disagree. And, I’d like to use this season – The Dream Season – to make my point.
When the football is great, everything follows. Again – When the football – the action on the field, the commitment to quality and performance and accomplishments in the physical, visceral realm – is high caliber….everything else falls into place. This was my 21st Season of Jewball. Maybe it was Rabin’s 26th. No one can argue that there was ever a season where more talent showed up for us. I mean, guys! Take a step back for a second. Think about what we are purely in terms of a talent pool. At every position. It’s not even arguable. Is there room to improve?! Of course! And that’s the best part! I guarantee you that there is not one player reading this who doesn’t think they can do better next year than they did this past season. And…I bet they are right. So, although we have never had more talent and our talent has never played better….we are still not at our peak. How f****ing awesome!
I still need to finish the point – and that is….BECAUSE the football was there – the essence (the IKAR) of Jewball was completely handled…..we were given the space and grace to become so much more. To do more charity, become closer; to tap into something eternal that we always knew was there in theory, but we never fully explored to its potential. And there is more room – we can and will venture to do more – push those limits – but the Dream Season was like no other. I’m 43 so I have every right and reason to be sentimental without pretense – I am talking about the looking out for one another and the sharing of smachot – highs and lows – and the bbq in the snow, sushi, donuts, champagne, the poppers….ALL THAT plays out BECAUSE we brought our A games on the field this year.
There is nothing that recaps all that more than how we rallied for Sophia Salem. Her battle is not over –BH it has gone well – but we stick with it. I don’t want to talk about Salem here because – honestly – he’s pretty forgettable. That’s just a running joke….Salem has proven himself to be as committed as they come. Yes, he is a skilled player and an excellent teammate, but – like the rest of the Birds – he represents the best of us in all dimensions of humanity that matter. Now, we stepped up for Sophia – not because it was Salem specifically – but because it was one of our own. Period! That’s all that mattered. One of us. A Veteran, a Rookie, a religion, a race, an age….the category doesn’t factor. We know a Jewballer when we see one. The heart sees the heart. Connects to it. And that’s it. Whether you played in 2005 or 2021. You are a Jewballer. You are my brother. I rally for you. Listen, I hope we never again have the kinds of tests of the brotherhood that we had this year. Sophia was not the only focus of our prayers – it was a tough and scary year – and my hope (and belief!) is that we have so many great things ahead as the football only gets better, and the rest follows.
What does lie ahead though? Why am I so bullish on Jewball’s future? Well, I once again look at our League Champions. The Birds of Pray. Listen, you never know when a Jewballer will just up and disappear from the scene. We have seen it a hundred times. A few seasons and gone forever. But I look at the Birds roster and I see youth and loyalty and a hunger for Jewball. I see In Both. In All. And I see that in no shinier an example than their captain, Sholom “Pray” Prager. He well knows….I was skeptical at the beginning. I’d seen the flashy QB who could outrun everyone (usually due to youth) dozens of times. Sure, they have an arm….but that doesn’t make them a QB. He came into the league last year on fire, making the previously invincible Yaron seem mortal. It was jarring for us, and certainly for Yaron. But – and he claims it was due to some kind of broken hand – he fell off in the second half. The arm strength wasn’t there. The picks came. I honestly wasn’t sure if he was a QB or a WR.
But the summer came and went and Corona numbers went down and it seemed that we would have a Jewball season. The kid shows up to Rabin’s sukkah and just pounds like 8 bags of wings. Rabin’s wife starts planning his Bar Mitzvah, and the rest is history. Listen, I don’t love young/old jokes – as Beast always say – we don’t talk about age (because then we think about it)….we just play until we can’t. But, I still need to give Pray credit for being a leader beyond his years.
Do I even need to get to the numbers? Forget leading his team to the League Championship. That is an accomplishment outside of this particular equation. He accumulated 3 Jewballs this season (could have been more, but it was getting silly how dominant he was). Above that….Leads Jewball in TDs thrown and rushing TDs. And if you think he only produces on one side of the ball….he also has the most interceptions and P6s. And if all this were not enough….ughhhh…..he is an extremely humble, hard-working, fair and honest person…..who somehow is also passionate about the game and highly competitive. At the risk of over-effusiveness and creating an ego where there seems to be none – if Rabin and I created a Jewball MVP in a lab (or made a deal with the devil) so as to give Jewball a long-term bright future – the result would look like Pray. Pray, it is with both awe and gratitude that I present to you – by the powers invested in me as Recap writer – the Jewball 2020-2021 Season MVP. I see many more of these in your future, with God’s help. Amen.
My final message to you all will never waver. It is always the same as it should be and as it must be. It is the message to myself for the past 20 years. Stay in shape. Get in better shape. Let Jewball motivate your decisions. Let Jewball guide you when it comes to your health, but also your lifestyle. Ask yourself – what would my fellow Jewballers think if I did this? If it’s bad for you….don’t do it! If we would be impressed…take a pic and share it!!! : ) Remember that Jewball is for life. And to live a Jewball life…to be back – as we said – better than ever – it takes work, and discipline, and planning, and focus. I challenge you all to show up next September in BEAST MODE!
(I hesitate now…because I know what comes next….the finality of it)
Jewballers, you have made me so proud this past year. I can’t believe I am zocheh to be counted as one of you, let alone in a leadership position. Coming back to the seder….Dayenu that I should have witnessed the snow game followed by the BBQ. Dayenu that I was around for just this one season as a sub. Dayenu to have played during The Revolution. But, to have been a Commissioner of this incredible, holy, brilliant, extraordinary assemblage of individuals for about 15 years in total……I don’t even know what to say…or think….or believe.
There is selfless giving in this life and there is selfish giving. The former is a lot harder than the latter. We are supposed to train ourselves in the former. The latter comes naturally. My love for Jewball and all of you who join this family comes naturally to me. Maybe it always has…and maybe that’s why I’m still here. Meaning, my giving to this league – whether it be the setting things up for many years, or teams, or recaps, or even expenses – it is completely selfish. I cannot imagine life without Jewball. How dreary and empty it must be. What could possibly replace it in all its multifaceted magnificence? The answer is glaring: Nothing. Nothing can replace Jewball. And because of that – and I don’t care if you are 20 and think you will be young forever or 50 and been there done that – WE HAVE TO ALWAYS APPRECIATE EVERY GAME. Every morning we wake up and can drive somewhere in this cold, angry, stupid world and get on a field with our fellow Jewballers and play this game. My brothers, we start this ride up again in about six months. Until then, In Jewball We Trust.

2021-2022 JEWBALL SEASON

10/3/21

WEEK 1 RECAP

There was a time, not very long ago, when the recap was what objectively set us apart. Outside of the game being played, it was the main event. Sure, we always had – and still have – the best people, but of all the pick-up games in all the lands….we had this witty, often literary, lyrical reflection of our game to bring it all together in the aftermath. Today, it stands as a record – a chronicle of what we are and who we were, going back almost twenty years. The point being that the Recap was our most obvious distinction, amid a sea of weekend warrior pursuits. We would assemble and play our games – the good, the bad, and the ugly (mostly ugly good), and then we would sum it up, blast some guys, praise some guys, and on to the next. The Recap told us we were special (although I think Oren once sent me emails from a guy who did Recaps of a fantasy league and the guy seemed to be just like yours truly – it was scary). What I am getting at is – although I appreciate that everyone (seemingly) still wants the Recap…it is so far from what makes us special nowadays. We have started to make good on our promises. Not promises to each other exactly, but the promises of the Golden Age and the Renaissance. When we said we should do this and this and this and get together for this and this – and…..we never did any of them. We loved each other. The love was there. Sledge made us a half assed website in 2007 (and it was awesome!) and we did some filming (the records remain!), but we never lived up to our off-the-field dreams. Needless to say, things have changed. I’m not going to rehash once again our magical and miraculous run of the past few years and what guys have brought to the table, culminating with our most mind-blowing milestone to date – an event which – if broken down into its pieces – encapsulates and magnifies every stunning nuance of what Jewball is and has become. That would be our Draft Party. Forgetting the fun factor and how impressive a spectacle it was and the professionalism of all aspects – from the food to the setup to the show – one thing – for me – stood out far and away above it all. That was when Doggy and Marino and Hands pulled up and bore witness to promises fulfilled. I can’t really explain how much that means to me. Because we are living their dreams. We are benefitting purely from their loyalty and commitment to this game – before it had any bells and whistles (besides a Recap). Yes, I know many of you played for years when things weren’t this epic. When we got thrown off field after field and felt like outcasts and nomads – unwanted. Sorry, you can’t play here. Sorry, this muddy patch of grass that no one will even walk past for the next five hours is not meant for you. The emails flying on a Sunday morning trying to re-direct traffic. Leaving a guy behind to tell anyone who may show up “They are going to North Woodmere Park.” And now the Nassau County Executive is at our Draft Party as we play our 4th consecutive season on a turf field. So, I am most proud and moved by the fact that we have given our Vets a glimpse of a manifest destiny. Jebwall has become what we always thought in our hearts we were. Special. I’ve said it before, but my hope is that each of us – if we put in the work and the time – will have a home, ten, twenty years from now in Jewball. That it will continue to figure out ways to define itself and be something more than a Sunday morning game – more than a game with a sweet recap. And now, to that Recap – Week 1 of the 2021-2022 season…
The sun shone on Week 1. In so many ways. Thirty Two players poised to join in the festivities in what could have been the most anticipated Opening Day in Jewball history. Opening Day is always a thrill, but we have really never had so much possibility for greatness (see prologue). But, as is always the case, greatness and possibility are the stuff of analysts and the talking heads of Three Balls In. What happens on the field matters.
The boys gathered at our new temporary home (What could be more Jewball than another opening day testing fate on unfamiliar soil, er, turf. Hewlett High School served its role and felt a welcoming bastion in our pre-season and the good vibes continued through Opening Day. Nary a threat in site. The one tech who approached with keys a-dangling, emptied a garbage can and turned back toward the building. A good sign. May our good deeds continue to merit us good fortune.
The day starts with Feit bowing out at around 7am. The joke was that Rabin poisoned him to take over the Feit Club this season, or maybe it was Yaron to just get the 8am start. Either way, he needed a replacement and Yaron grabbed it. Feit, feel better. I heard horse de-wormer is money. Blessed is Jewball where we can lose a star QB an hour before the game and replace him with another star QB. So Colors does not lose a step and Yaron lines up with Tabak, Sam, MK, Storm, Munch, and a super giddy Zada, who missed the entire last season. Across the way Pray returns to defend his MVP and look to repeat for the first time since Marino pulled off the trick a decade ago. In his huddle is Prime, Maor, Steveo, PJs, Singer, and Beast. I will add that the day was hot. The fans were hot. The dogs were cute. And add to that 2 proud Rooks (Pollack and Burt) staking their claim to a Jewball heritage – fighting for a spot at the line.
The story of Game 1 for the first 3 quarters was….big plays taking each team to the redzone, but no points on the board. That isn’t to say the QBs were deficient. They were…DEALING. Both Yaron and Pray looked as good as we’ve seen them. Throws were precise and with serious zip. Think Sam made the first 1st down of the season with a really nice catch slung by Yaron. Tons of beautiful passes. Just nothing to show for it. Beast and Munch were taking turns forcing the QBs to change their best laid plans. Yaron had a chance with Zada, but the kid who spent last year locked in a basement in Queens wasn’t yet up to the task. Pray twice found receivers behind the defense, but both Pray and Singer could not get enough separation to put 3 balls in. Jordan had a shot after a well-executed fake reverse but Singer tracked him down. It looked like the season would kick off a scoreless tie. But then….one of those drives ended with
Pray firing a bullet from his 19 yard line to the back of the end zone just over the outstretched arms of MK and into the awaiting mitts of his most trusted bird…PJS! Incredible all-hands grab which at the time seemed to be a game winner. With ten minutes left on the clock and Yaron facing an opening day L, everyone got a little more serious perhaps. In crunch time, Yaron found a way to score – going to his man Storm on a pretty out route. Stat! Count It! Yaron was really confident yesterday. He basically knew that his arm was capable of getting the football through the tiniest of windows. Defenders could not catch up to it. Each team took the ball one last time, but neither scored. So…not a 0-0 tie, but a tie nonetheless…no Jewball (for PJs).
Game 2 had no last minute cancellations. And also had 2 venerable, impressive Rooks fighting for Jewball relevance. Welcome Benjy and Bentzy (nicknames to follow…probably). Game 2 did not have the scoring dysfunction that plagued Game 1. Yaron stepped to the plate again (yes, Mighty! I know that’s baseball!!!), this time with his team consisting of Dobs, Salem, Jordan, Logan, Rabin, and Mighty. He faced off against Gronk debuting with Daveo, Kut, Tom, Goldberg, Ross, and Ivry in supporting roles. Good to see the sophomores out there! (Even though Ivry should have caught one per the dude walking the track in a headset he borrowed from PJs)
Yaron took ball first and was unceremoniously picked by Ross straight away. A rough start, but nothing like Gronk’s, The man who just drafted like a genius seemed confused and rusty in his first few sets. It did not last, but the first half belonged to Yaron. Riding the phenomenal hands and elusive legs of Mighty to gain yards and first downs, the third drive was capped by a SCINTILATING over the top TD pass to Logan in right corner. Dark up 1-0. With Gronk continuing to struggle (no completions until late in the 2nd quarter – and Mighty picking him twice) Yaron stayed on point. Yaron called Jordan’s number on the next drive allowing the Commish to run an out and up that was successfully hauled in for 47 yard. A few plays later (and, yes, after a Jordan sure-TD drop!) Yaron went back to Jordan and this time it was caught for the score. Gronk got the ball back and threw a completion! I think it was to Kut! Yaron – being very generous to this Recap writer – called an out and up again (Daveo bit on the first one and Bentzy fared no better) and Jordan broke free for his second TD of the game (honorable mention to Ross for telling me I started my celebration at the 5). At this point Gronk was awake. Colors never had an issue with men being open. They were open from go. Dark was a mess on defense. With Yaron, Jordan, and Rabin playing…well…old and busted – a lot of work was left to Salem, Dobs, Logan, and Mighty. They were doing their best covering up for the miscues, but it was just a lot of deficit to deal with. The only saving grace was Gronk preferring to throw the ball at Beast’s girl’s head than his receiver. Once Gronk figured out his mechanics, Dark was sitting ducks. He began to effortlessly pick the defense part. Same play. Same play. Same play. Ivry or Jack in motion. Goldberg flashing over the middle short. Tom and Kut sneaking out over the middle deep. Jack and Ivry drawing the corners. It spelled trouble. The only question was could Yaron score again and could the clock run out on Gronk and co.
Same play included an option to run and Gronk has perfected the slow motion spin move which makes the flags disappear in a hypnotic way. Logan would say just tackle him. But, Logan, you try tackling someone while hypnotized! Same play included Goldberg pushing Benjy back 2 yards 4 times during a 10 yard run. The result though was back to back scores. One a TD pass to Tom and then a dance and bull rush by Gronk.
At this point the day was scalding. It felt very No Mas out there. We don’t take water breaks (and this idiot brought hot coffee) but it felt like hydration would have been wise. It was the kind of game where you had to give yourself a pep talk to move when the QB said hike. One person who stepped up late in the game after an otherwise quiet day on offense (though adding 2 sacks – must be the new muscle he packed on) was Dobs. When it mattered most – when Dark needed a score to gain some breathing room (and breathing was not easy late in that game) – Dobs had that extra which made the difference. Fighting through defenders and establishing position in the middle of the field, he pulled in a rocket from Yaron and split the defense in the process. All were too tired to chase. Dark takes a 4-2 lead. Because why should anyone get a break – physical or mental – on a 75 degree day, Gronk comes right back and scores, once again to Tom just resting in the middle of the field. After a stop, Colors had a chance to tie the game and push into OT, but mercifully Rabin pulled Gronk’s flag at the 5 yard line on a 4th and long to ice Week 1. A victory for Yaron and a Jewball for Bron. He played like the King.
Who wants week….:)
I’ll be sending the new sign up format – now

10/17/21

Week 3 RECAP

Between the hype of Opening Day and the grandeur of our first League Game, Week 2 had the feel of what we call in sports a trap game. One where the players aren’t quite ready and overlook the opponent. One where only the team with the proper mental preparedness would win. It actually (THIS) came off accordingly. It was sort of a dull and dreary day. As opposed to week one which was played in warmth and sunshine with guests, and fans, and dogs, Week 2 was cloudy and rainy with not one attractive person on the sidelines (no, drug dealer Daveo does not count). Could be the only aspect of Week 2 this season that stood out – and the hope is that it reverberates for many seasons to come – is that it was the debut of our Rookie class getting into some real game action. And not just action, but Pollack was under center in the early game. Stepping up into a role that presented itself when Rabin and Yaron could not participate. What we saw of Pollack in Week 1 was that he is a gamer. Everyone seems to know him already. He is related to Mighty, he went to school with Beast, he dated Pop’s daughter, he works for Sam, and he learns with Klink. It’s odd he is only showing up now, but so be it. He QBed in his Israel year – I believe with Pray on his team (no joke), but had a season ending injury. He was trying a comeback for Jewball. God bless! How did it go? Not great. He moved well. That was good to see. He looked like a leader in the huddle. That is actually one of the most important (IS) attributes. The problems were – and no need to be specific – his team was not moving downfield. The first pass of his Jewball career was promising. A slant to Might that picked up a chunk of yards. But the drive stalled, as did all the others that followed. There was a pick to his co-Rook, Burt. He had opportunities. Feit, who looked really good, quick, and bouncy, wasn’t perfect. He threw a bad pick to Tabak in the redzone, but he otherwise was running and gunning, as Clyde might say. It was a one sided game for the first 45 minutes. Feit ran one in and pumped 2 in (Singer and Zada). Things did change in the 2nd half as Pray, who waited patiently (a little too patiently maybe) on the sideline for such an occasion, entered the game. Needless to say, last year’s MVP is a game changer – and he did just that. I am sure not to make Pollack look bad, but after taking the ball to start his first set, he throws one of the greatest passes Jewball has ever known – a 55 yard nuclear warhead to Munch streaking down the sideline for an incredible hook up and a TD. Pray claimed it was the farthest pass he ever threw. A few sets later, Pray took off down the sideline and evaded the crowd to score again. Although Feit was unable to put up another point, he was able to run out the clock. A win and a Jewball for Feit. The much maligned leader of FCFT may have refused to take a test before the game, but he certainly passed one by looking really sharp in his first game of the season. Look out, FCFT haters.
Game 2 was interesting in that (NOT) it was backwards. Pray had just come off looking unstoppable in half a game of football, about to take on Gronk, who had looked shaky in the first half a week earlier. I would have bet on Pray to be on fire and dominate. But you gotta play the game. And though the game sputtered for a while at the outset, it was clear that Pray was going to have trouble. Solo (and eventually Beast) had him on his heels the whole game. Pray is used to running, either sideways or forward for big yards, but in this game, he was always running backwards. On plays where he needed 5 yards, he wound up 15 yards back before being able to properly scan the field. And it was happening play after play. This is the impact of Solo (and Beast). Meanwhile, Gronk had figured his shit out. All of it. Back with OG cronies Vegh and Goldberg, Gronk was doing some home cooking. BOOM! POW! ZAP! Moving the ball effortlessly and in his comfort zone. Vegh and Goldberg picking up yards all over the place. Goldberg amassing a really nice stat line in the process with 2 scores, 1 pick, and a sack. And while stats are nice, a win is nice, since we only give Jewballs to winners. But, Gronk won you will tell me. So, give the Jewball to Goldberg for his monster game. Alas, there was no winner in this one. Somehow, someway – and I don’t understand it despite being in the game – Gronk did not win this game. They were (A) up 2-0 and 3-1 (Dobs added a score from Gronk), but they did not win. Instead, this one ends in another tie. Pray scrambled his way to tie. His defense did just enough. In game, it felt as though Gronk and co. were unstoppable, but apparently…they were stopped just enough. Salem and Kut got enough pressure. Legs tracked down enough flags. Prime made a man’s play taking the screen and running mercenary style down the sideline for 63 yards to put his team on the board. Jordan, after dropping a brilliant pass on an out and up which may have proved a score, managed (CULT) to make a sliding grab and 4th down to preserve a drive that wound up with a Jack Ross TD. Finally, Pray did his thing and ran one in to knot the game at 3. And there it ended. Without fanfare or satisfaction on this grey and forgettable Week 2. LEAGUE WEEK NEXT!

10/17/21

WEEK 3 RECAP

Week 3 was the culmination of a lot. To recap it and judge it by the games themselves is almost unfair. The honest truth is, League Week 1 last year was a lot more exciting. Because it was the first. Because it was so unique and special. Because there were so many (193) guys there for the games. It had a once in a lifetime energy that can’t be replicated simply by running it back. I think I got into my biggest fights with Singer and Mighty that day. Big energy means big fights. So, this season, League Week 1 was virtually fightless. It was a spectacle, to be sure, and successful – absolutely – but it also had the proficiency of a well oiled machine. It almost felt routine. This is not a bad thing. The fact that incredible talent and competitive games is now routine in Jewball is a cause for celebration.
The day itself was the first true fall day. Although the sun was peaking up to blinding effect just over the tree line in Hewlett, there was a crispness in the air. It was a far cry from the torrid heat of a week earlier. It was…football weather. And the boys came out. Mostly in their jerseys (guys, don’t make me mandate the wearing of your team color on game day…but cmon…it’s not hard and its an easy way for you to pretend for one day that it’s not about you), knowing their gameplans, sticking to the rotations, feeling the comradery generated by their banner, and playing hard (if not, harder) for the pride of getting a W for a team that they will play 6 regular season and hopefully 2 postseason games with. Like I said, Leagues are special. Hate on the new Jewball all you want – because hating on the new Jewball is as new Jewball as the new Jewball is – but we have not sold out. We have looked only to make Jewball better for you while remaining completely true to our roots.
So, you want a recap? I guess there should have been a spoiler alert before Episode 4 of TBI since I made my feelings known about a number of items that would surely have made the recap otherwise. I guess I can refer you to the episode (which as of right now is the 3rd most viewed episode…I hope my ratings will go up by the end of the week), but let’s see if there is more to get into.
The more I looked at the Feit Club on paper, the more I knew that Cronies were in trouble. I know Gronk is a pot stirrer by design and is truly a troll l’shma, and it is entertaining and provides juice to both the chat and the games….there are times where shutting up is a good idea. I am equally guilty. I won’t back down on my belief that Cronies are the superior team in the League, but sh—ing on Feit Club is and was a bad idea. In the moment, as the draft was happening, the choices seemed odd and confounding. But, Feit is no dummy. Our third most arrogant quarterback? Sure, but he is confidant in his abilities and clever. His team was down 2-0 on Sunday and looking left for dead….and they came back. They fought back. Maybe fighting back will be the signature quality of Feit Club.
A Logan-less Cronies began the game as expected, with intense pressure on the QB from Munch and Solo, while Feit tried to scramble and screen his way to the goal line. Fact is, Feit has looked very good all season. His long game isn’t the best, but his short game is precise as hell. He is actually the best in the league at it. He doesn’t retreat like Pray, or misfire like Gronk, or overwhelm his receivers like Yaron…He is pitch perfect in delivering the ball in short yardage. That skillset will go a long way, especially with a guy like Storm who has hands as good as anyone and a heart heartier than anyone. Although it would be an exaggeration to say that Munch and Solo had an easy time with Kut and O, they certainly got through plenty. And might as well deal with this inarguable detail right now: Linemen can wrap up a QB to attain a sack just as readily as pulling his flag. Zero issue. Lineman going after a QB have actually the most leeway when it comes to contact. That can push him. Smack his arm. Grab his legs. They certainly can go for the flag to shut down the play, but if they can hug him and force him to “surrender” all the better – that way we don’t have did the ball get out controversy. The only thing they can’t do for safety reason is tackle him (i.e. launch their body at him like a missile). More about that later.
While Feit’s drives were stalling, Gronk was moving the ball effortlessly. As easily as I’ve ever seen. It was almost as if FC was purposely playing off the receivers. Every Crony seemed to be wide open on every play. Gronk marched down the field twice and scored twice. Once with Maor in the back left of the endzone and once with Klink in the back right. It was gonna be a massacre.
There are many opinions about what happened next and you know mine. But, bottom line is…Gronk threw 3 picks in the 2nd half and Feit Club, mostly riding Storm in desperate situation after desperate situation, came all the way back. At first they knotted it 2-2 forcing the Cronies to begin to feel pressure. They could not lose after a month of smack talk. Gronk had been off for a while. His best opportunity to score since the first two drives was a 3rd and goal where he and Jordan failed to connect on an in route. Luckily it was his surefire connection with Goldberg to the rescue in a do or die drive at the end of the game. First Goldberg picks up big first down over the middle in traffic on 4th and 5, then the drive is capped by a similar ball to Goldberg again – this time in the endzone.
Feit had another attempt, with 5 minutes left on the clock. A methodical drive ensued, but the game looked over when FCFT was faced with a 4th and 21 at midfield. Somehow, inexplicably, Feit – for the first time all game, unleashed a deep-ish pass that was not only pinpoint accurate, but zipped in with just enough mustard to evade the cornerback. Storm picks up the 1st down, and after a screen and scramble by Feit, Storm slants in from the 1 and the game is tied. That is where it stayed. Tough “loss” for the Cronies. Exhilarating “win” for the Feit Club. A game that proves not all ties are created equal. No Jewballs to give, but Goldberg and Storm did everything they could to help their teams, so hats off to those two gamers.
Although I can’t claim to be have been fully invested in the narrative of Game 2, being consumed by the post Game 1 hock on the sidelines, I was proud to see such megawatt talent assembled in true clash of Jewball titans. Crazy to see the star power on that field, and to then think that Yaron’s team was short a man who could not cut out of a bris – Singer was not in the huddle. What did I see? I saw Pray repeat his newfound performance piece as the human rocket launcher. He unloaded one that the Irv’s Iron Dome defense could not intercept, and it landed with a thud on Salem’s chest and there was nothing then between Salem and the end zone. 1-0 Birds. Not that Yaron wasn’t throwing the ball well – he was. His arm looks like it is back to its studly ways, but his receivers were not being as sure-handed as he might have hoped. While it wasn’t the dropfest of his games last season, there were balls that needed to be caught that weren’t. In a game where it’s 25 yards between first down markers, a drop to erase a 7 yard gain is always costly. Although Pray had one other really nice deep ball to Salem which may have repeated as a TD if it was not slightly off, his short game was proficient enough. Pray does not want to be that running QB anymore. He can still run, but it is clear he wants to become a pass first QB. Good for him. Who better to pass to than Mighty and Prime and then let them do their thing with blockers out front. I said it in TBI and will reiterate here in the chronicles – Mighty and Prime is slash and burn, speed and power, ground and pound…whatever you want to call it. Add Legs as a relentless lead blocker. Or Tom as the human stallion. For these guys to run behind – for most teams this will be overwhelming if they are not at full power. And let’s be honest….Yaron was competitive and made it a game, but Lionhearts were not at full power. Singer would have made plays that the Lionhearts needed to be made. It was interesting to see who might step up for Lionhearts and fill that void left by Singer. If your money was on Dobs, you have been paying attention. Whether it be accumulating sacks, blocking, or catching everything that came his way – Dobs was the most reliable weapon Yaron had. I even saw the birth of his ego at some point during the game. The man who doesn’t even have the balls to talk back to his blow up doll, was actually wondering aloud why Yaron was throwing to anyone else but him.
Its hard to call a 3-2 game uncompetitive, but from the moment Pray and Salem made it 1-0, the tone was set. Prime bullied his way to 2 more TDs. Yaron became erratic and Pray picked him off 3 times. I watched Yaron march down to within the 10 yard line 3 times only to come away with 1 score (Irv over Prime). That’s a problem. Bottom line is the BOP has once again put the league on notice. Where every other team failed to make a statement, Pray and his Birds walk away with a week 1 win. Jewball has to go to Pray for the numbers. More than anyone, Prime stepped up his game to meet the intensity we want from the League games, but he can take his 2 TDs as the reward for that.
A word on violence: I like it. It should be a part of football. If you want to protect yourself from getting hurt, you can do what countless Jewballers have done when they reached a certain stage in life – retired. I see many Jewballers today, mostly in their 30s, who say to me…I’d love to come back, but I can’t risk getting hurt. I can’t miss work. My wife would kill me. Whatever it is. The best way to avoid injury is not to play. So, let’s start there. Once you decide to welcome the risk (for the reward) and play, you now have a certain expectation in Jewball – which is fair – that you will not be hurt by someone else who is being violent purposely or recklessly. Needless to say, we aren’t going to tolerate purposeful violence. Meaning, you can just as easily make the play in a way that doesn’t involve a collision, but you go for the collision. That’s not good or allowed. There is a way to be physical with wrapping up that doesn’t not involve violent contact with someone. Next up is recklessness. This is where we ask you to keep your head even in the heat of battle. That’s all. Size up the situation and process the data. Do not use the same force to push Daveo out at the sideline as you would for Prime. Don’t drag down Jordan as you would Singer. In other words: Be thoughtfully violent.
I’m out this week….so….good luck and guest recap writer next Wednesday. Enjoy Week 4.

10/24/21

Week 4 – Recap

A PJ’s perspective… Week 4 coming off a competitive league week #1 had a lot of excitement plus higher expectations. Pray was coming off his first W of the season with the BOP and Feit battling and playing quite well post COVID quarantine, there was much intrigue for this matchup. In addition, you had Mighty vs Singer, which is always storyline when these 2 matchup against each other. However, things don’t always look as good as we hope for them to look. Insert Dave Chappelle jokes! 7:50 am rolls around and bunch of old guys claim their stake in the land of Hewlett High School like the “Space Jews” they are… luckily they agree to split the field but start time gets pushed back and things aren’t quite right. Feit lines up with Singer, Zada, Gronk, Bert, Ernie, and Sam. Pray lined up with Mighty, Munch, Dobs, Tabak, Maor, and PJ’s. Feit gets the ball first and decent drive but stalls out. Pray has similar drive but also stalls. Then Feit on his second drive marches down the field and hits Gronk for a 20 yard TD. 1-0 Feit. Pray was unfortunately unable to respond all game and even threw 2 picks on misfired passes one to Ernie and the other to Singer. Prays intermediate game works at times hitting Maor, Tabak, and PJ’s but struggles to find Mighty deep or anywhere past the line of scrimmage. You can watch or listen to TBI for more on that! On defensive side Prays team kept him in it with Feit being sacked 6 times; 4.5 by munch, 1 by Dobs, and half by PJ’s. Midway through the game Feit finds Gronk on a deep 30 yard TD to seal the game at 2-0. Could’ve made it 3-0 but Pray picked off Feit in the end zone and the next ensuing drive PJ’s battered down a pass on a 4th down on the 2 yard line. Overall Feit played well despite the rush and Pray needs to figure out how to get Mighty the ball more. Pray will get better! 2-0 Feit wins!

Game 2 featured the return of a legend in name orb M-V-P! Who made appearances on the field and TBI in the same week. MVP lined up with his “old reliable” Tom, Klink, Beast, Irv, Storm, Prime, Kut, and Gronk . Yaron wanted to teach this legend once again that Jewball is his yard. Yaron lined up with a mix of young vets and rooks in Bently, Goldberg, Salem, Benj, Sonic, and Vegh. MVP looked a bit rusty at times on his first drive but was able to find Tom for some big first downs. MVP would end up taking a commanding 2-1 lead after hitting Tom and Ivry for TD’s. Yaron’s team couldn’t come together at all. Mis-plays and drops. Overall a frustrating game for Yaron who takes every game seriously and just wants to win. There was some extra play that led to a 4-1 win for MVP. Overall, Yaron and Pray will figure out how to use their talent better. Let’s hope Hewlett remains ours for the season! If not we need to reclaim Lawrence like the “Space Jews” we are!! This is Jewball boys!!!

10/31/21

Week 5 – Recap

While a dazed Yaron was trading his phone for sex and drugs in Cancun, Week 5 was played – and his absence was felt. Week 5, at least for me, had that melancholy air, which a Jewball Sunday can occasionally and unpredictably emit. Sure, it was the awfully uncompetitive Game 2 in which I participated. The kind of Game that really makes you think. Sends you home feeling empty. Leaving you to fill the void of meaningless Jewball with philosophical musings and the urge to have the recap make sense of it all.
And then Mike White happens. And you realize that all the Week 5 QBs are intensely loyal Jets fans. Maybe that is a sign. I always felt there was a connection between playing football in the morning and watching it the rest of the day. I don’t care what anyone says – a sentiment I have brought up here many times – we have an edge when watching football on Sunday. An edge over every armchair quarterback or announcer pounding wings, drinking beer and “appreciating” the games as they play out. Because we PLAY THE GAME. Yes, of course on a level that pales in comparison to the pros. I am not comparing our efforts to theirs. But the fact that we play makes us – in my mind – more like the players than the spectators. We recognize the game in a way that a fan doesn’t. It’s part of us. When a receiver drops a ball. When a tackle is missed. When a ball is thrown inexplicably awry. We jeer but we get it. When a circus catch is made. A block is laid down. A high effort tackle is accomplished. We are impressed because we get it. More about Mike White later.
I have to begin with the crew sharing the field with us. Reiterating first that soccer is still at LHS so going there now is a moot point – I like HHS. Feels like a home worth committing too. There is a vibrancy and life energy there that LHS did not have. The advanced years game playing along side us with the slow moving routes, the seven Mississippis, and the plethora of throwback jerseys – it’s comforting. To them maybe we look young. Well, they should see the crew that took over the field after we left. The point is….football is a brotherhood that can last a lifetime. More about Eddie later.
Game 1 was it’s usual high class affair with Pray and Feit facing off once again. Mighty v. Singer. Kut v. Munch. Talent up and down the rosters. One of our super rookies – Bentzy – got a spot last minute when Maor got tangled up with car issues just before the game. By the time I got to the field, Pray was up 1-0. I was told the BOP connection between Pray and PJs was strong again as PJS made a TD grab (and had also potentially suffered a concussion – RS, bud). I then turned on the camera and it was showtime for Mighty as he turned a broken play into a Mighty exclusive. Slashing and burning his was to a score. 2-0 Pray. Now, this puts me in an awkward position….because Feit has been really good in terms of comebacks and winning games. He hasn’t lost yet. So why is it that when I watch him….I only think how much better he can be? Definitely could be I’m the problem. I just see someone who is limiting himself by focusing on only 1 or 2 receivers. Pumping when he should be throwing. For now, let’s assume it’s me. He threw some stunners on the comeback trail. TDs to Zada and Singer (stiff arming his way for 40 yards), with a brutal for Pray pick to Vegh, opened the door for Feit to continue his propensity for finding a way. Pray managed to take the punch and punch back with a TD to Ivry and his team clung to 3-2 lead with 15 minutes left in the game. Never Say Die Feit made a spectacular throw to Bentzy in the Where’s Waldo hat over the middle to keep the chains moving and capped the game tying drive with a score to Zada. Pray had a chance to give his team the lead, but the drive stalled – Kut was particularly relentless on Sunday, going sack for sack with Munch after being traded for him. So, it’s Feit with the last licks. I have seen many amazing catches over 20 years of Jewball. For my money – no type of catch will ever be more impressive than those that are all out effort streaks down a sideline – catching up to a ball that you have no business by the laws of physics coming close to – and then catching it. The dynamics of such a catch are the most brilliant to me. But there is another kind of catch that can take your breath away. That is the high pressure contested jump ball where it is literally mano a mano to see who wants it more. Game 1 ended with such a catch. Not surprisingly, it was Singer in the middle of it. He went up with Ivry. Both men reaching into the sky for a spot in the air where there was no ball but where a ball would arrive suddenly like the Millennium Falcon emerging from light speed. Ivry is height and muscle and hands and focus. He did everything right. He interfered in every way possible, short of catching the ball himself. But the ball snuck through just enough to give Singer a chance. And Singer took the chance and made himself a hero. He comes down with the ball and with everyone getting over the visceral shock…he runs for the end zone and scores a game winner. With that, he gets a Jewball. Beast mode, Snow Pup!!!

If not for Mike White, Game 2 wouldn’t get much ink. It was a great day for back up QBs, just not in Jewball. With Yaron and Gronk out and Rabin only able to show up mid game, Beast/Tom got a start in Game 2…and it just didn’t work great. For whatever reason – and there are many – the Game was a bummer for the Dark team. Pray was throwing for Colors, coming off a tough loss, and he was the only QB on the field that lead his team. Dark tried multiple QBs including Rabin who (thank you) popped in ready to go. But there was no rhythm to be found. Dark scored 0 in 90 minutes of football. Pray scored 4 and ended the game on a P6. Final being 5-0. There is no excuse for the 5 scores other than it was one of those games where the discombobulation on offense spilled over to the defense. Missed flags and assignments and coverages. Jordan was particularly exposed. Once by Benj and once by Eddie for a TD. Whatever – take a shower, wash it off, move on. The lesson of Mike White and Week 5 is how important QBs are. Effective QBs. QBS who lead. QBs who can win. Who can make everyone in the huddle believe. What a precious commodity they are. This is why we are so blessed right now.
You ask me why the Dark Ages happen. It’s simple. We had no QBs. You can have 14 great guys – the best guys – who love the game and are as close as Jewball brothers can be – but if two of those guys are not REAL QBs…you don’t have a game. We have tried so many times to develop new QBs in Jewball…Sometimes it works very well (Doggy, Pray, Gronk, Zez), sometimes less well (Dorothy, Hood), sometimes not at all. But developing a QB is a worst case scenario. What we want ALWAYS is actual QBS! MVP, Yaron, Feit, Marino, JK! We would sell our soul for a QB every time. We sort of did that with Yaron. Just kidding!
Wishing Jewball continued QB good fortune. May our cups runeth over with those gems.
And speaking of treasures….Eddie!
Eddie could just as well have found a game like the one that shares the field with us. He’d probably be a superstar there. No exaggeration – he would blow their minds. But he sticks with us. He believes in Jewball. He raises his children with Jewball. He gets that it’s a game, it’s a family, it’s a way of life. Evidenced by Ari being in town and getting a game in. Evidenced by his sticking to the game plan and running his routes with alacrity and commitment. He puts up another score this week. He takes on Solo without fear. He is a role model for every one of us. And we all know it. Here is to you, Pops! Keep inspiring – untll 120. Jewball for you.

11/7/21

Week 6 – RECAP

Week 6 feels like a looong time ago. So much has happened since I walked off the field dejected after a second consecutive loss. We wrote Jewball movie scripts, Steveo had a birthday, Spira chronicled the Silver Age, Logan revived TBI, and Benj switched to pullups. Definitely a good week to take my time getting a recap out. Sometimes a game is so brutal, you want to tell the story quickly and get it over with. That’s when the loss is devastating because the contest is so close and one or two mistakes turned the tide. Even worse if those mistakes were your own. The kind of game that – if you are lucky – it only haunts you for a week. Then there are the games that just suck the life out of you. Where your spirit gets broken and you just don’t care enough to revisit it. A forgettable game. In many ways, a memorable loss is superior – in the long run – to a forgettable win. After all – as heretical as it may sound – we are here (cosmically speaking) for the memories. Let’s talk memories.
On the first morning of the season that could be described as not warm (though still far from cold as evidenced by Goldberg playing), Jewball settled into a real rhythm at our new home in Hewlett. Old Timers asked us to flip the field and play on the shadowy side and we abided. Respect our elders, disrespect soccer bitches. Easy. Game 1 will be remembered by some as a rousing victory, by others as a gut punch defeat. And neither are true. It was another tie. MK took a knee 40 minutes before kickoff and asked for a replacement. Ivry and Waldo pounced, but it was Irv with the quicker swerve. Teams remained as posted. Once again Pray v. Feit. Sorry, the UNDEFEATED and very much embattled Feit. Pretty much no one wore their designated dark/colors, so….whatever. As captured on film – by yours truly – so I should be exempt from recapping – no one scored for the first 5 drives of the game. A lot of knocking on the doors of glory, but no admittance. Finally, I shut the camera and Feit went deep route to Mighty and a TD happened. Feit had thrown a similar reception to Gronk earlier, but Gronk is not big for running for TDs after the catch. You want Gronk to score a receiving TD…he needs to be in the end zone already when you throw it. Once again, I started filming….and nothing happened. I realized I was the problem. No more filming. Problem is, now I have no video evidence of what happened next and I have to rely on memory. No memories. Thankfully, we do have Yaron’s box score. I know that Ivry scored for Feit once again. The man who uses TBI every night to help him fall into a deep coma-like sleep had the game in hand. Gronk was playing the best defense of his life. Oren was bringing the heat on the pass rush. And Dobs and Maor were being completely ignored. Feit’s game plan was running on all cylinders. Asked for comment immediately after the game about not throwing to Dobs and Maor – two sure handed receivers – Feit told the reporter to “get over it.”
With a 2-0 lead late in the game and, as mentioned, Oren really limiting Pray’s running game, Pray seemed to be in trouble. He was misfiring and clearly disappointed with his production. One could see PJs’ What’s Wrong with Pray segment on TBI getting longer and longer. Then Pray said F it and decided to run. A lot. In the end he ran just enough. Got some tough 1st downs, kept the chains moving, and scored twice – both to Zada. The first Zada TD was a grinder down the sideline with Singer lead blocking and Zada gutting the defense. The second, I don’t remember. Either way, Pray had come back. Feit had squandered what felt like a sure victory. At the buzzer, Pray was feeling relieved and Feit was feeling mugged – and we have another tie in Jewball.
Game 2 was a Snow game, which is always special. But the shine wore off quickly. Things never to say in the huddle before an opening drive. “Guys, we are here to have fun and just run around” I know how Snow means it and I know he is a competitor. He has the hardware to prove it. Probably more than the rest of us. He has lead teams to many a championship. And that could be why – at this stage – for him – Jewball is just for fun. He’s coming off an injury and fighting his way back – GOD BLESS HIM – and it’s a long road, but let’s be clear: Jewball is fun, but we are not here for it. We are here to push ourselves, compete, and win ball games (and of course create memories while doing so). And it looked like maybe we would do that with Snow running the huddle as the game opens with a Jack drop of sure TD from Yaron. Snow runs the same play for his squad but Legs makes the catch and punches it in. On the following drive, Legs sacks Yaron and it seems like maybe…just maybe…this is gonna be a rousing victory for the returning MVP and a Jewball for Legs. But, unfortunately, the game had 70 more minutes on the clock. And during those 70 minutes Yaron ignited and MVP wilted. Yaron wants me to kiss his ass for the rest of this recap, and he deserves it. He gets beaten up enough. But I won’t do it. It’s boring, I’ve done it enough in other recaps, and – truth is – he doesn’t need the confidence boost. He knows he was on fire on Sunday. I know he was on fire on Sunday. His team knows he was on fire on Sunday. Gorgeous TD to Daveo (thanks for filming Irv). Cross the body TD to Benj. A bunch of other TDs. Solo blocking like a fiend. It was a dismantling.
On the other side of the ball, just shitty play. Not MVP’s fault at all that his team let up 6 TDs. He sat on D. Okay, the picks didn’t help. And the P6 to Pops from the 4 yard line was brutal and certainly his fault. But the D was soft and confused and porous. Embarrassing lack of conviction on flag pulling and coverage. Twas a beat down in every sense. No brainer Jewball to Yaron for throwing passes that were actually caught.
Memorable or not, Week 6 was played, and another link in the chain is forged. Week 7 will be anything but forgettable. It’s League Week 2, Jewballers. BRING IT!

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11/14/21

Week 7- League Game 2- Recap

I love the smell of League Week in the morning (a dated reference – even for me – but look it up if you don’t know). There is just something about it. Maybe it’s the uniforms. Or the fact that people who don’t always show up, show up. Or that Solo is out there bright and early huffing and puffing and doing whatever fearsome preparation he does to psyche himself up and intimidate the opponent. Or maybe it’s because Yaron is out there full squad running drills in the crisp air as the sun sits low in the sky. Maybe it’s the storylines yet to emerge. Can the favorite Cronies secure an actual W now that Logan is back in the lineup? Can Feit keep beating the odds and continue his streak of shocking the haters? Can Pray disappoint PJs even more? Will Yaron’s team finally step up to meet his high expectations and demands? You know…the answer doesn’t really matter. League Weeks are special. Let’s just appreciate that undeniable fact. Through our sheer will and imagination, we created something special. So we just roll with that.
For the Cronies, League Week 2 meant having to face an imposing assemblage in the Lionhearts. Forget that Yaron leads them – a QB that wants it as bad as anyone and has the arm to make it happen. Look at the core of players?? So much damn talent! You look at the roster and you say….this team can’t possibly lose! But it’s Jewball Leagues 2021. You look at the next team and their lineup and have to pause – Wait…No…it’s THIS team that can’t possibly lose! After 2 weeks of Leagues…seeing what our Captains drafted – you have to be a believer.
The day starts with a message to the Cronies. Logan is out. Symptoms…sick….not gonna make it. Game starts in 40 minutes. No time to think about it. Maor and Klink go from bench to starting rotation….and one of them has to step up and have a big game. They both had huge games.
The teams playing in Game 1 seemed built in the image of their drafter. Yaron and the Lionhearts were on the field at least 15 minutes before the game scheming, and the Cronies were strolling in drinking coffee and eating donuts. I guess there are different methods to approach a big game. The only time I saw Gronk outwardly come close to taking a game seriously was Vets v. Rooks last year. He was coming off a League Game where he had squandered the W by throwing ill advised picks. The mantra on Sunday was…keep it simple and don’t listen to the inner voices that say take risks…but could he resist? Yaron’s gameplan should have been equally simple: Get rid of the ball quick to any one of his money receivers – because Munch and Solo are on the attack. The beauty of Munch and Solo, though, is that they are programmed to not just run north south, but east west. On 3 they are coming at the QB, but once the QB throws the ball to a wing…they reroute and run sideways…so….it’s a lose-lose on the short passes. The screen game really was not there for Yaron. Might as well then get to it early on here. His receivers have trouble securing his passes. Sure, some are caught cleanly, but just as many are bobbled, tipped, or dropped. In this game, Yaron would have been happy with clean drops! Instead, a ball off Jack’s hands/chest winds up in Gronk’s. A few plays later, Jordan – realizing Gronk was same-playing him into irrelevance – elected not to do the same play and brazenly crossed to the middle. Gronk hits him at the 5 and Jordan turns and finds some daylight running right. Edging past Irv, the 43 year old Vet who guaranteed a big game knifes his way into the front corner of the endzone and the Cronies are up 1-0. The Cronies were happy to draw first blood, but there game was far from over. Yaron bounced back eventually and found that sideline streak routes were available to him. He became particularly fond of picking on Steveo, who could cover anyone stride for stride, but the height advantage of Ross and Ivry is advantage Lionhearts. Yaron put some good balls up there for Ross to extend for and a hookup eventually went for a score – the game was tied. Gronk began to really really struggle. Numerous deep balls were not deep enough and easily picked by Lionhearts on the prowl. Ross, Ivry, and Yaron were feasting in the middle of the field. Gronk would have sustained drives – mostly by connecting underneath with Maor, but whenever he took a shot, it went for a turnover. His best pass of the day and the best catch of the day put the Cronies ahead for a few moments. A 30 yard strike to Maor in the back of the endzone that Maor hauled in with a full extension of his hands up and his toes down to brush that back line of the endzone. The video replay is inconclusive, but the eyeball test in game said he was out of the back of the endzone by a step. Incredible snag, deleted from the annuls (relax Rabin) of Jewball history.

With the score tied at the half….everything changed when….
Yaron is driving to take the lead. Munch and Solo are still relentless but its been a grind and everyone is tiring. Yaron is finding just a bit more time to gather himself and throw. He hits Ross on a slant over the middle and it splits the linebackers….he has one man to beat. Jordan at safety closes in on Ross, but fails in his duties. Ross stiff arms in and Jordan cannot wrap up…he stumbles back a few steps. Ross is accelerating and Jordan needs to catch up. If he doesn’t, it is a sure TD and a Yaron lead with 40 minutes to go. We will never know if Jordan would have caught up and managed to pull the flag. Because out of nowhere, Klink – of the often injured knees – flies in and plucks that flag from Ross’s belt like it aint no thing. Heroic move. He didn’t give up on the play and he kept the score tied. But would it be enough. Lionhearts were still knocking on the door. 7 yards from a TD and a 1st Down in their pocket. The playcall was a good one. Singer cross. Keep it simple. Put the ball on a bully with great hands and let him body his way in.
Whether it was telegraphed or too slow moving or the ball wasn’t placed far enough away from the defender, Jordan sniffed out the playcall on hike. Racing over to try and jump the route, Jordan inserted an outstretched hand into point of contact between Yaron’s ball and Singer’s nips. Just enough to create a bobble. A bobble that Singer may have been able to control if the sunlight or gravity or the wind was just slightly different, but – whatever forced make great receivers make mistakes – something happened. He didn’t get his hands around the ball. Jordan got a second smack on the ball, this one even more direct. At this point, Solo and Goldberg were swiftly converging on the play. Singer stars to tumble to the ground, leaving the ball suspended above him….and into the well positioned arms of Goldberg. The interception felt like victory enough. To stop a sure score. But what Goldberg did next was stunning. He makes a quick move to avoid a tackle and get out in the open field. Solo, never quitting on the dream of a P6 gets on Goldberg’s 6 and directs and protects him for 85 yards to a score which puts Cronies up 2-1. And damn if Singer didn’t get up off the ground and almost catch him. Incredible football moment.
With the Cronies up by point and a quarter left, it felt like a good time to tighten the defense and try and hold on. Keep it simple on offense. So Gronk throws another pick on a deep ball. Luckily for the Cronies, Yaron’s crew was still trying to figure out what could possibly work against a lockdown defense. Singer was likely bummed about the P6, Dobs was seemingly forgotten in the offense, Ivry was the most reliable player on the day, but he doesn’t seem to have a move yet that shakes a defender after the catch. Gronk did a good job on a late drive getting 1st downs with his legs and eventually calling a controversial roughing the Gronk which allowed him to stay alive and pitch one to Munch for a seemingly commanding 3-1 lead. Yaron bounced right back with Ivry on that deep sideline route and hit him in stride for a TD. The Lionhearts were back in business, down 1 with ten minutes to go. Gronk could not push that 4th score across and Yaron had 2 opportunities in those waning minutes of the game. I hate to twist the dagger into Singer further, but…
On a 4th and goal, Yaron put a bomb in the deep left corner of the endzone that Singer normally leaps for and catches to save the day. Not on this day. He made an attempt on the ball, but Jordan was in the vicinity with a hand up. It was enough to knock the ball away. No score. No tie.
On the final drive of the game for the Lionhearts, still with a chance for OT, the gameplan was upended by a tipped ball that wasn’t caught cleanly. A high pass? Yes. A dart at close range? Yes. But Singer is Singer and he makes his living catching passes like the one that slid off his fingertips and landed – of course – in the awaiting arms of his nemesis – Maor! Maor makes the play and seals the victory for his Cronies.
Maor gets Jewball for the heroics. For the sure-handedness. For the sunny attitude and constant positive energy of gratitude. He is always nice, but never cheesy. His chat game was always razor sharp, and he has shown that his game on the field can meet that standard. Congrats. Game 2 recap tomorrow.

GAME 2

I will say this about the Feit Club. They look good in green. How could the color of a jersey matter? Just looking at the Game 2 matchup in League Week 2 – one team looked bright and full of life and energy. They were wearing a shining emerald green and they went by the name Feit Club. And across the way was a team decked out in a dark cloud of grey, like the color of a bad mood – and they were the reigning champions – the Birds of Pray (aka BOP). I’ll keep on with the symbolism. Watch Feit right now. Whether on TBI or after he calls hike. Bouncing around. Smiling like a damn fool! The kid has swagger. He’s had it since draft night when he had no reason to have it. When every prognosticator in the room was laughing at him and his picks. When every Captain was counting the games against FCFT as in the bag Ws. Would they even win a single game? Kut a first round pick? Oren a second round pick? And it was interesting to watch as Oren, Kut, and Feit huddled up on the corner of the highest step of Rabin’s patio. The three of them – even then seeming to see and understand what was happening – and working together to form the team. They picked up Storm and MK, Tabak and Vegh, then Rabin, then Effie, while other teams were grabbing perhaps more high profile receivers….but Kut, O, and Feit seemed pretty satisfied. Let’s be honest. People were laughing. Who is laughing now? Oren and Kut have QBs running for their lives. They are playing for Feit like on a mission. Katz and Tabak don’t miss a flag and pounce on everyone. Rabin is picking up critical yards all over the place. It helped that Vegh wasn’t there last Sunday so that Feit could concentrate on the receivers he planned to throw to. And Storm? He’s playing like the best receiver in the league. And it’s not really close right now.
For all those of you who wanted any sort of detailed recap, I’m gonna let you down. I was watching, but also hocking about the prior game. Cronies held on against Lionhearts and it was stress and then relief. My focus was limited. What was obvious was that Feit was really bouncy, really accurate, really poised and confident. Oh yeah, back to the symbolism. On the other side of the ball was Pray, who has been under fire for quite a while now. He is coming off a Jewball Season MVP and just has not regained the dominance. His Birds are sticking with him, surely, but – as we have mentioned here – Pray seems to always run backwards on hike, further from his receivers, and last Sunday, BOP seemed to move backwards. A very prideful team looked in disarray and lost some of its mojo. And this is not on Pray. Yeah, he missed some guys, but the entire team was blowing opportunities. Let’s get to the game.
I believe Feit’s first TD was to Tabak and it was a really nice pass to the back of the endzone over Mighty, but….I think Mighty could have made a better play on the ball. At least from my angle. Not sure what I can say about BOP’s possessions early on, but they just seemed to go nowehere. Intense pressure from O and Kut and just really limited chemistry with his receivers. He wasn’t finding them or they weren’t getting open. Plus really good defense. Mighty and Prime were smothered after they touched the ball. Daveo was really a non factor on offense. Salem made some nice catches and almost a spectacular one. But, overall, Pray had to run a lot and I think there were a lot of throws he wish he had back. Meanwhile, Feit was a magician. He threw a midrange pump and go to Storm that Storm brought down between two defenders that was jaw dropping. But it wasn’t just magic with the arm – he was equally an elusive escape artist. He got out of sacks that were like Houdini under water in chains in the vault. I mean, he was locked up. Done for. And out he came – leaving a defender behind staring at his hands in disbelief – and Feit uncorking a bomb to Storm for yet another score. You see where this is going? Feit scored early and often. 5 thrown TDs on the day to 4 different receivers. Pray was always trying to play catch up but never could.
This despite the valiant attempt by Daveo to singlehandedly give the team a chance. A brilliant one handed pick 6 brought the Birds within one early on, but Feit bounced around and bounced back. Daveo picked another one later in the game that lead to a Pray rushing TD, but…again….Feit bounces around and bounces back. The frustration was evidently mounting for the Birds. Yes, there was grumbling by players. There was drama on the sidelines. There was frustration calls in the game. None of these things should happen. Games test us in a lot of ways. We can’t always pass the test, but – together – we strive to. By the end of the game, it was hard to watch. BOP was broken. Prime was gritting his way through an injury and couldn’t be himself (though he did get a TD because the ball cures all maladies and when its in your hands…you go, it doesn’t matter what your back says). Birds need to regroup. They lost themselves out there. It’s not that they didn’t fight. It just seemed that they were each fighting for themselves and not for each other….and you can’t win like that.
Feit Club is all about the Feit. Those dudes battle. One for all and all for one and it is a gdamn honor to watch and see it all come together for them. They are the kinda team that sells jerseys to Mets fans like me. Feit leads it and they follow. He threw 4 TDs, had a pick, and practically demanded the Jewball after the game (he wouldn’t be Feit (or Prime) if he didn’t, but – anyone watching knows that Storm gets it. Simple reason. Feit…you played a hell of a game. On any other day….enough to get a Jewball. But you didn’t play a perfect game. Perfect Game??! Is that the standard!!!?? No, of course it isn’t. But your boy, Storm, played a PERFECT GAME. Perfection in preparedness, intensity, and execution. It was a game without flaw. The stats were counted, sure, and they were impressive, but he gets the Jewball because of the stats that cannot be counted. He gets the Jewball because he showed every single Jewballer what we are lacking and what we should aspire to become.

11/21/21

Week 8 – Recap

Week 8 will be remembered as the week where the luster lost by Feit and Pray was transferred to Rabin and Yaron. An undefeated QB and the reigning MVP tooks Ls from a QB with a losing record and one who squandered his starting role, respectively. Now, of course there is more to it than that, but…this is a packed week short on time, and the recaps are many. I ask for your understanding over the Bowl Game season since….there are only so many words. And now with TBI in the mix, the themes of the day can get redundant.
I will begin with an apology. First to Feit and then to my team Sunday morning and then to Yaron’s team. I blew it. I made one sided teams. Yes, admittedly, I wanted to test Feit. I wanted to see if he could pull another W out of his ass against all odds, but I absolutely did not give him the personnel to do it. Even with Maor needing a replacement and Colors picking up a speed player in Benj, there was just not enough talent on Colors to cover or adjust to what Yaron and Dark were bringing on Sunday. This isn’t about Colors playing badly or making excuses, this is about a balance of the skillsets on the field. We have proven that when we Draft, we Draft well. The League games have been, are, and will be competitive until the end. The other weeks, I need to bring my A Game in making sure every team has a chance if they play their best. Colors did not play its best, but even if they did, they couldn’t win that game. That’s on me. And the shame is not just that Feit took an L and there goes the streak, but that Yaron and his team played an incredible game. They would have beaten a team much better than Colors. But we will never know. What we do know is they took advantage of Feit being a bit off and very much under pressure. They took advantage of a Singer injury. They took advantage of a vast disparity at line. And they took advantage of a team with 3 rooks learning the zone play. Trick plays, sure. Non trick plays, of course. Again, everyone on Dark looked really really good. I wish we could say it was surely them and not us, but I really don’t know. In the end, it was a thumping. No need to relive the details. 9-1 win. Irv gets the old gaudy stat line Jewball. 3 score, 3 picks.
As much as I deserve blame for Game 1, I got Game 2 right. With Rabin at QB, my aim is to give him what he needs to win, but without leaving the other QB’s cupboard bare. I think the teams were spot on and the game played was exciting once the scoring got going. It did take a while. Rabin and Solo did a very nice job pressuring Pray and a defense sporting guys like Dobs, MK, Zada, and Ross is handsy and formidable. That is not to say Pray didn’t have his shots. Beast did not have a beast of a game by any means and almosted his way into the early storyline of this game by getting spun around by a nice pass over the top that could have gone for points and then missed a flag on Zada which lead to Rabin’s first score. That right there is a 2 point swing. We await the return of the animal version of Beast. Zada needed bodying.
Pray got the game tied up by simplifying his play calling. Screen to Prime….welcome to Stiff Arm City. Jack is getting married in a few weeks and he doesn’t want to show up with Prime’s hand print on his eyeballs. So he didn’t go all out shoving Prime to the sideline. All good for Prime. He churns and burns 67 yards and knots this one.
Rabin then pulled out a play which was used very effectively by Yaron and Gronk in Game 1, but had actually failed for Rabin and MK earlier in the game. It did not fail this time. Swing out sideline pass to MK behind the line…..fake screen! There is Dobs cutting a post through the heart of the Pray defense, splitting the safety and the corner. MK unloads a 43 yard heat seeker that Dobs expertly hauls in (what doesn’t he do expertly?) while running full steam. Celebration for Rabin as they take the lead with a half hour to go.
The revelry was short lived. On the next possession, Pray drives the field and pulls out a miracle escape from Sacktown and finds Effie for the 23 yard strike 1st Down pass. Two plays later, Kut breaks free from the line and shows what a properly used TE can do. Catch and scramble, 45 yards to pay dirt. Game is once again evened up.
For Rabin, in a way, if the game ended in a tie, it would have been a nice showing. What really is expected of him at this stage in his career? How many times can one man be killed off and come back from the dead? Well, with Rabin, over the past 15 years, the answer seems to always be….apparently one more. With 20 minutes left, Rabin uses Zada to move the ball down field. Together they pick up 2 first downs. Now, with a 2nd and Goal and 10 minutes on the clock, the unlikeliest of occurrences transpires. The kind of thing that no betting man would bet on. The kind of moment that breaks every rule of logic and predictability. The kind of Jewball event that keeps us coming back for more, week after week, year after year, dare I say, decade after decade. It’s a simple play. If Yaron and Irv did it in the morning game 3 times, no one would have blinked or scratched their head. But there was Rabin – master of the gofer ball – ambassador of the flying duck – launching as pretty a deep ball as you will ever see. And to who? Is there anyone that had the legs and stamina this late in the game to get all the way behind the defenders to the back of the endzone to meet that ball? I mean that ball is not going to do what we have seen Rabin’s passes do a thousand times and come up short of their intended. This one is hitting someone in the back of the endzone or its flying out of bounds. Rabin happened to have done a professional job of making that the hallmark of his day. And it made all the difference. Instead of picks, we had incompletions. Harmless ones. So, does that spiraling heave land inbounds? And if so, does someone catch it? Yes and yes. Friggin Pops! Is over the top and perfectly placed behind all others to welcome that oblong leather baby into its new home. Rabin to Eddie punctuates the game! That’s almost 100 years of life experience! They get it done. Rabin and his defense hold on and Rabin gets the surprising win. Pray gets another head shaking loss. Jewball goes to someone who I didn’t mention that much but he was definitely the X Factor in the game !and did most of the heavy lifting for Rabin’s squad. Zada was slashing the defense and picking up 1st downs every time one was needed. Smothering defense as well. He added the score which gave Rabin his first lead and set the tone. Basically contributed from wire to wire and seemed to be the kind of weapon that Rabin needs to compete nowadays. A receiver with good hands that can create a lot of yards after the catch. And there you have it. Week 8 in the books, Turkey Bowl tomorrow with some incredible returns.
When some people say….life is a blessing, I totally get it when the response is….well, maybe your life is a blessing because it’s good. My life sucks, so I don’t want to hear it. I don’t know….I can’t argue with that person, but I believe – and belief is subjective – that we can also earn our blessings. And we do so by appreciating everything. Its not an exact science of course or any kind of science for that matter, but its a philosophy that pays off, even if its completely fabricated. So, on this Thanksgiving eve….let’s be sincere about our appreciation. Look at what you have – even if all you have is us!

– and say….damn…I am lucky, I am blessed – thank you! A lot of people don’t have a crew like this or the ability to play football or a chat to make them laugh or smile. A lot of people weren’t made with the kind of psychological components that would permit them to tolerate us and this – and I think they are missing something. It is not my job to understand why they don’t get it or convince them that they are crazy. But it is my job – without a doubt – to appreciate and say thank you that for whatever reason, I do get it. So…simple magic trick – appreciate everything you have and are…and earn blessings. Happy Thanksgiving, Jewball.

11/28/21

There was some snow dust falling on Sunday morning. Week 9 followed a pretty festive Turkey Bowl which saw Pray beating Gronk in OT and Rabin doing just enough to lose to the return of Frog. The young QB was not the only Jewballer of yesteryear to make an appearance on Thanksgiving. Jesus, Spira, and Socks – each an unbelievably cool resurrection – returned to the family to get a game in and reset their clocks.
Maybe it’s the football overload between the Bowl and the Sunday game, but there was something missing Week 9. And I don’t just some usual suspect players, which allowed a both or 2.
Game 1 was the classic Pray v. Feit matchup. Not a particularly well played game from the part I saw. Feit continued to regress and Pray was there to take advantage and grind out his second win in four days. Feit threw a bunch of picks and couldn’t score a thing. Jewball to….I don’t know…..Maor looked good? Pray won? Dobs…who gets it?
I heard Oren walked off the field upset. I guess he was…..upset. Shouldn’t walk off the field until game is over. But his point was valid. We rotate O line unless someone volunteers to play dead line or take your spot in the rotation.
I didn’t see any Game 2 action, but I know Rabin got mercied and the game was restarted. I have Rabin a loaded squad and he couldn’t make it work. A bad look for him after a W last week and a a decent showing on Thanksgiving. Definitely a step backward. Jewball in Game 2a to Yaron since he beat Rabin when I made that very difficult for him. Game 2b….Jewball to Gronk or Mighty? What say you, Yaron?
Some big losses on Sunday, but huge win on Tuesday as we had our first ever Chanukah party. Once again thanks to Legs for hosting and Daveo for the donuts. Thanks on the DL to those who co-sponsored….I know who some of you are. Was a great time and appreciate everyone who came out. The bottom line is….we say we are a family – and then we actualize it. That makes all the difference.
League Week 3 up next. Happy Chanukah, Jewball.

12/5/21

Week 10 – League Game 3 – Recap

Jewball could have used a good week of football. The Turkey Bowl was a really nice and special day. The Chanukah party was a really nice and special night. But this isn’t a league about the trimmings. It’s about the roast. And that’s the Sunday morning football experience. And over the past few weeks, it felt damn near vegan up in here. The anomaly and joy of a Rabin win aside – let’s be honest – we have been struggling to feast on good football. We have instead found ourselves in a mid-season famine. Starving for quality games. We wander and stumble through wastelands of blowouts and ties. For a while, I thought it was me. Maybe you thought it was me as well. Surely, it was the team making. It was the imbalance of the squads. The randomizer was busted and in desperate need of a reset. Thank God for League Week 3, right? That’s gonna fix all that ails us. Because the Commish can’t blow this one. The teams are set. They are fair. The competitive balance of the League Weeks has been its defining characteristic. So many great players. So evenly distributed. Bring it, League Week 3! Cure us! FEED US!!!

And here I am, writing a Week 10 recap and there is good news and bad news. The good news is only for me…..the problem wasn’t me. It wasn’t my team making. So I feel better. The bad news is…it’s you. Well, it’s us. It’s our players. The problem with Jewball right now is that the Jewballers are letting us down. To be clear: only on the field of course.

What do I mean by that? Quite simply…..we aren’t playing to the best of our abilities. We aren’t playing smart enough. Or tough enough. Or hard enough. And bad play has lead to bad habits. Only one thing to do about it. Week 11 the f*** out of it!

It was our first December game. It was Chanukah. It wasn’t exactly cold. You’d call it football weather outside. Low 40s to start Game 1, but the sun was rising and about to make it beautiful. Yaron and the Lionhearts had not won a League Game. And that’s odd looking at their team preparing. Irv, Singer, Ross, Zada, Dobs, Beast, Yaron. Those were the 7 Lionhearts that showed on Sunday. That’s a team without a flaw. They had lost to BOP in a game without Singer. They had lost to the Cronies in a game without Singer (playing like Singer). Unfortunately for Feit Club, Singer had taken about 2 weeks off and was ready to tear someone’s head off on Sunday. Feit Club actually played like that proverbial chicken who has been decapitated and runs around dying for a while before realizing it is dead.

This same wayward chicken, only a few short weeks ago was a proud strutting red crested rooster. The cockiest of cocks, crowing on TBI about a team that has bought in. I remember that golden hued time. I remember the game that precipitated it. Oren and Kut turning back the clock and in relentless pursuit of Pray. Storm, everywhere. MK, everywhere. Feit….so bouncy and confident. Efer-effing-vescent! Like I said on the field, it was the 7th day of Chanukah, and FC looked like it had been binging on donuts and latkas for a week. Their reactions were slow and heavy. Weighed down by an anchor of malcontent. Oren brought the Big O inflatable helmet and it was a great touch. It added flair to the affair, but the player that was a joy to watch against BOP was not the same. Beast and Dobs manhadlndled Kut and O…pretty much on both sides of the ball. Vegh did not have the game that he needed to show FCFT that they made a huge mistake ignoring him. Feit was doing his best to rally his team in the huddles and from the sideline, but his actual play was uninspiring. To the contrary; it was demoralizing. In the prior game he was sure of everything. Now he was sure of nothing. Perhaps nothing but that he wasn’t himself. He was uncomfortable. Hurt. He was once the QB who couldn’t stop bouncing around with exuberance; now the QB who can’t stop pump faking with indecision. He pump fakes his way to another shut out loss. Back to back soul crushing shut outs is not easy to do, but that’s where the early season MVP candidate finds himself. Week 8 he was top of the Power Rankings. Where will he be after Week 10? And this is why you play the game? Because if we didn’t play the games, well, Yaron might still have the reputation of a perennial loser whose receivers love nothing more than to drop his passes. But how does he look on December 7th? After that win? Short answer: He looks pretty darn awesome. His team looks pretty darn unbeatable. Dobs and Beast looked as formidable against Feit as O and Kut did against Pray. All motor and determination. Every receiver is sure handed. Yaron was always accurate. The difference now is the passes are being caught. Singer was getting the butterfinger treatment on Chanukah….maybe he took that personally. Maybe. Good work, Dobs. Brilliant, actually. Singer was grabbing everything. High throws. Low throws. Flags. He pulled a flag on Oren when he was in the air and upside down. By choice! He was also bringing the pressure. He was basically the difference maker. It was Snow Pup without a flake to be found. We call that in Jewball recaps the honorable mention. It’s like a Jewball but doesn’t get you a stat. Singer would have had an actual Jewball but he dropped a late TD. So it’s Yaron who gets it of course. Just like the one Storm got that lifetime ago in a League Game victory, Yaron was perfect. Did he throw a pick? I don’t know. I’m not checking. He was perfect. 6 TDs thrown to 4 different receivers. Heady play from the start. Leadership, arm strength, all the intangibles. And he did it all while dressed like Madonna from the Like a Virgin era. Lionhearts are back. Look out, rest of League.

And after Game 2, maybe look out, Lionhearts. The Cronies looked for real. Feit Club got shut out on Sunday, the BOP did not, but they did have something in common. They weren’t trying their best. Birds of Pray is a star studded team. Sure, that sometimes comes with drama. BOP is carrying baggage stuffed with drama right now. And they need to dig deep and fix it. They need to unpack that shit. They each need to buy in to the team mentality or this train is going off the rails. 3 more games to figure it out.

The game played is more recap worthy than Game 1 since it had some elements of competition, although not many. I believe Cronies scored at will for the first 45 minutes of the game. Goldberg, who has himself a hell of agame on offense and defense, scored the first Crony TD. Gronk has a lot of time and plenty of clear field vision on Sunday. We have to mention that he threw 4 ugly picks, but that seems to be the necessary evil of a Gronk performance. Like a slugger who is good for one home run per game, but is gonna strike out 3 times while getting there. Pray was kinda back to the What’s Wrong With Pray era following a few games where he seemed to reclaim that winning edge. Needless to say, none of those games involved a pass rush of Solo and Munch, with Gronk playing spy. No QB in the league can be their best in that situation. That said, good teams do find a way to make adjustments. BOP made the adjustment – just with twenty minutes left in the game and when it was already surrendered to their opponents. Why surrender? Because the Cronies came to play Sunday. I’m in a tough spot here as I do want to be the objective recapper. This isn’t a PJ’s Perspective. I also don’t want to do a disservice to my team that played so well. I’ll try to be complimentary, but subtle: The Cronies played as if their cosmic bond had been elevated to the dynamic synergy of other wordly supreme beings. Okay…..you know what? They all played very well. Honorable Mention to Goldberg and Munch for the flag grabbing expertise. Logan had a run back of a pick that if I think about for just long enough I will cry because I know what he was battling physically and he’s just the most f***ing inspiring teammate a kid could ask for. Steveo, who scored a TD, is Logan, but even better for me because I’ve actually seen him become Logan. So it’s special and personal. I met Logan and he was already Logan. Less exciting. Klink, I know even longer than Steveo and he’s just pure Klinkness. Did you see how he wears his ski cap?? Pushing down his ears! You can’t fake that purity!! Thrilled he is back in the fold and catching TDs over Tom like a boss. And as for this old commish, all praise to the Jewball Gods for giving me a day like Sunday. With the next generation present, I make a circus catch and throw in a pick and a TD. Jack keeps describing to me when and how he will start dominating Jewball. And of course, he says I suck. Who did I miss? Oh yeah….the man who brought it all together. Sure, he needed a wake up call, but once awake….he brought the house. Solo….how did this man not go first Round?? Between the demeanor that is entirely fierce and entirely placid, he is the ultimate game changer. Just ask Pray. And just as Gronk who outletted to Solo numerous times to evade a sack and to gain yards that lead to scores. Solo gets the Jewball for being the one Crony who actually did it all on Sunday.

So, in short – The Cronies whupped the Birds. Final was 5-2, but it wasn’t close. Birds had some highlight plays. The Rat got his stats. Tom made a splendid one handed pick. But, the team seemed to sag watching Pray struggle. Instead of redoubling their efforts, they appeared at times openly despondent. I give Legs credit for calling people out for it. We gotta train ourselves to motor the whole way through. It’s not easy. At all. But we gotta train ourselves to do it.

And speaking of training, let’s take it upon ourselves right here and right now – to get fit…not for ourselves…F that….for Jewball! To make the games as epic as possible. I usually make this request at the end of the season, but after the let down we’ve had recently, something needs to change. We need to bring IT to the games on Sundays, whatever IT may be. No chat or party or event can make up for football that we are not proud of. Let’s get back to being proud of our football. Week 11…bring IT.

12/19/21

Week 11 – Recap

I checked and rechecked the calendar before putting pen to paper for this recap. And it is confirmed: Last Sunday was not Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Years. It was just a plain old Week 11 in this 2021-2022 season. So why did it feel so much like a Bowl Game? Why didn’t it seem to matter?

Could it be that the schedule got the better of us? A Week 11 sandwiched between the intensity and pageantry of League Game 3 and League Game 4. Did our players decide to hold back while looking forward?

It’s tough otherwise to explain another Week of Jewball that was just competitively imbalanced.

It was cold, sure, but this is football. It was a gray morning, but see above. We had good players show up. Many of our stars and power rankers checked in. No reason not to have two close games with the vitcor going home feeling accomplished. Yet, once again it was a one sided affair. Make that three one sided affairs. And to be a-fair to the players that showed, this was an example of a day where QB play determined the outcomes. Absolutely, individuals could have tried harder or fought fiercer, but Week 11 showed the unpredictability of Jewball and sports in general. Our power rankings would have you believe that Yaron and Gronk are unstoppable forces. Gronk, all the way at the top! Yaron, not far behind!

And yet….the same Gronk can’t put up a single point in Game 1 or Game 2 and throws picks galore. And yet again, the same Gronk ravages Yaron in Game 3. The same Gronk who got shut out just minutes earlier goes for 9 scores. The same Yaron who has been ascending to the status he deems himself worthy (as do most of us) looks befuddled from the first snap.

Legs tries to call in sick. Then he tries to play GM with 25 minutes to go before kickoff. He ends up coming a bit late but Game 1 is already in tatters. Pray runs for 88 yards to start the game and Gronk throws a P6 to Ernie on his first possession. By the time Legs checks in, the Game feels very much out of hand. Once Pray scored again, and due to the rough “inequitable” start, we run this one back. Everyone gets a reset and a chance to make right. But there was no right to be made by Gronk and co. The QB with the heretofore golden touch looked rusty and tarnished. He couldn’t score a single point. And – prognosticators be damned – there was Pray on the other side living his best life, pumping his fist and celebrating pinpoint hookups with Singer and OBJ receptions by Klink on his way to 4 scores. One of them being a throwback P6 by Klink where he looked as spry and fleet footed as back in 2007 when the Chipmunk could cover anyone. So that’s Game 1 in an acorn shell. Klinky gets the honorable mention for the aforementioned, but Jewball to Pray. He had the numbers. Check the website. You’ll see.

I was worried about Game 2 because Yaron was loaded with all the players close to his heart and he had been on a winning a streak, looking extremely sharp. He was poised to shine in every way and make the day as memorable as he has had on the Jewball field. He was joined by all the players he had brought to Jewball, including the return of showstopper Flash, plus Rabin whom he uses incredibly effectively out of the TE position. And Gronk was picking himself up off the ground.

But, like Daveo while the cameras are rolling, Yaron was mucho distracted. Jordan picks him on the second pass of the game. Jordan gets stopped at the 1. Gronk to Ivry for the score. On the day, Yaron got picked 4 times, Jordan got stopped at the 1 yard line 4 times, and Gronk threw a TD to Ivry 4 times. This is how it went. It was tough to watch Yaron have such a miserable day with all his very talented players from back in the day surrounding him. Storm had two TDs late to keep his stat train moving, but the game was never close. Gronk wins 9-3. Normally a 4 TD game would get u a Jewball, but all of Irv’s TDs were the same. Crosses from the 6 yard line. He made the plays. He leads the league in TDs and he is definitely an MVP candidate. But Jewball to Gronk for the equally gaudy numbers and the lesson to all of us out here about bouncing back. He had 3 games on Sunday. Fail, Fail, and Great Success. A less mentally tough person would have given up on themselves and the day. A lesson for all our League QBs. In the end. There can be only one.

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12/19/21

Week 12- Jewball League Game 4- Recap

League Week 4 was supposed to fix the year-long trend of blow-outs and ties, so of course we had one blow out and one tie. Though we did answer one question resoundingly: simply in terms of quality of game-experience – the tie is well –superior to the blow out. Sure, there is no W to put in your pocket and shine up over the course of the week, but there is a viable game to be proud of. With the blow-out, most of the time – and was the case on the Sunday – the losing team leaves miserable and the winning team leaves happy but unsatisfied.
I think I’ve said this before, but now I really mean it: Week 12 was the first truly bonafide old school cold weather game of this season. The kind where you can only see Courtney’s eyes peeking through her coat. That cold. Was windy too. Not an easy game to be on the field, let alone on the sidelines. The old men so far are 0-2 in showing up on the cold weather days. This may mean we have the field to ourselves the rest of the way. Would be sweet.

Game 1 was the sexy matchup last Sunday with the two star-power teams going head to head. Yaron v. Pray. PJs v. Pray. PJs v. Yaron. PJs v. Daveo. Dobs v. the neglect of his parents. Legs v. the non-neglect of his parents. PJs v. E. Sam v. Prime. Singer v. Mighty (who didn’t show up to the fight – no excuse). And of course the battle everyone saw coming from a mile away: ZADA V. DAVEO!
There were some last minute Bird droppings. Mighty and Tom checked out and Ernie checked in. There was a time when Mighty would have been replaced by two Veterans and it still wouldn’t be fair. Now, he plus Tom are replaced by a rookie whose Jewball name is based entirely on the existence of another rookie. Eichah!
I know BOP was flying after this game and PJs and Daveo came into TBI higher than Solo after 3amedibles, but – as someone standing in the cold watching the game unfold – it was rather uneventful for much of the running time. I will admit that playing in the game and watching it are naturally two very different experiences. Playing is a physical, visceral experience. The action feel intense and monumental. Visually speaking, the best play of the game was the one that got the scoring started. A wicked over the top grab by Dobs on a vintage Yaron cannonball while in full gallop. The ball sailed perfectly over the defenders and stuck to Dobs’ mitts as if his gloves were covered in……I guess….I’m gonna say….glue. Sure, glue. That was the best play of the game. Between that and the last play of the game, the moments in between were less momentous – with few exceptions. Once again, Legs is becoming an absolute menace on the line. If that terminator ever learns a few basic tricks – he will be Munch. There, I said it. Legs + technique = Munch. Book it.
He had a lot of almosts. A lot. As did Daveo. And as pointed in various contexts over the past few days, IF BOP did not score on that final play – Daveo would have been the most glaring reason. We’ve seen plenty of almosts, but Daveo was all almost. Was tough to watch. He closed in fast on everything he pursued and his prey always got past him unscathed. Every time. So it was good for him what happened at the very end.
During the middle hour or so of the game, many opportunities were squandered. I will say this – Pray needs to figure out his red zone offense. Again, outside of that final play – which felt very exceptiony and not at all ruley – Pray could not get his team points in the traditional way. The only score they managed was the classic – though jaw droppingly awesome – Pray charging down the sideline like a lightning bolt for 73 yards and running one in. The TD a tad marred by the did or didn’t he call the flag guard by Singer. It is our hope that the new non-verbal “call” rule will clean some of this up. We will remind everyone of it on the field.
Yaron wasn’t helping his cause much either. He threw two rough picks (that I recall). One to Pray in Pray’s endzone and the other to Ernie from Yaron’s endzone. Not pretty.
Just as the game was about to be most faded, Yaron and Beast came up with a nice score on a TE rollout with Beast making a throwback catch with his signature hard running style in the open field. Between that catch and a really nice game at the line, the man I once called Ademar by accident was poised for a Jewball. Alas, it was not meant to be. Pray orchestrates a drive that really should have been the recipe throughout the game. As he said on TBI – and we will not FORGET it – the drive’s tone was set by a pass for big yardage caught by Salem. Then, and it truly looked like Pray should have gone to this well more often – Prime angry running just picking up all kinds of yards. And yes….that final play – Daveo across the back of the endzone. An almost drop (well, really a tip to himself) but he hangs on – a heroic play to give BOP a tie and to take a Jewball away from Beast.
Game 2 was unpleasant. If it wasn’t for Munch’s historical performance, I wouldn’t mind just posting the score. Feit is still out. We know that. I know he will defend himself, but I’m not going to here: Feit, you are out, but you are Captain. Do a better job leading your team. If you don’t know what it takes to lead, ask Gronk. Just kidding – he is worse than you at it. Ask Pray – the guy whose entire team wanted to be traded. Okay 0-2. Ask Yaron! If you want a really formal answer that is nearly impossible to understand and said in a voice that will make you want to hang yourself. I get it. Leadership is not easy. That said, you gotta find a way. You; Gotta. Find. A. Way. Abdicating responsibility is NEVER the option. Even if others get away with it – it’s not right. Lead your team both on and off the field – and good things will happen.
I’m not gonna say anything bad about Flash. I really like and respect that guy. He wasn’t the right man for the FC QB position on Sunday, clearly – but he is just the most solid dude. Love to see him whenever he comes out. We need to just get him back into the rotation as a WR where he belongs.
Munch sacked him 10 times. The birthday boy Solo came out and he deserves a medal for it, but Munch gets one of the most deserved Jewballs we have ever awarded. Congrats, Munch on a banner day. You are the gold standard of Jewball excellence and have been for many many years.

If you (not Munch) are wondering why you are playing mediocre Jewball…the answer is because we have guys like Munch who are setting the standard for us. Perhaps in another league you would shine, but until you are willing to put in the work and effort of a Munch, you will simply be mediocre by comparison.
Feit Club scored none. Barely made plays. They need and will get a reset next League Game. Gronk moved the ball very easily. Threw zero picks. 1 score was enough but Cronies put up 5.
See you guys, Friday for some Friday Jesus Bowl action.

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12/26/21

Week 13 – Recap

Prologue: Sometimes procrastination pays off. For example, this recap. I sit here writing on a 2022 Bowl Friday, feeling higher than those who partook in stimulating conversation and stimulants after the game. Why so high? I mean….how much nachas can one guy ask for! Seeing this family come together on the eve of the eve of the New Year. Glasses raised in circle of mutual respect and pure devotion to the fellowship. Coming out to play the game we love in the way we love; for the love of the game and the love of the way. Coming out to just connect for the sake of passes and for the past’s sake. The game is the game and it was a good one (Pray over Yaron in a nail-biter. See the vids for the story). But on the sideline was another world of good. Singer, Daveo, Kut, Klink, Mighty, Snow, Steveo and the crew….drawn to the source – pulled in with a force as eternal and irresistible as gravity. As irrepressible as the sunshine that flooded down today. And I am zocheh to see it. And Spira, who welcomed me in as I welcomed you in – is there to see it. And participate in it. Beyond a dream. It’s a f***ing peleh.
January. Another year. One more link in our chain. It’s here and we show no signs of a letdown. Just so blessed. Wishing us all a New Year that advances us in every way – toward our righteous goals – health, fulfillment, security, peace….all that good stuff that Jewball promotes. Let’s get it. And even better – Lets get it together.
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The Revolution has never seen a throwback game quite like Week 13. Let me count the ways.
To begin with, due to Covid and midseason healing, Jewball could only muster up a single game a la 2012. A first for the season. Perhaps a first for a non-tackle game in a number of seasons. Then we have Zezzy gunslinging like its 2010 and hobbling around like its 2015. All that was missing was his kids blowing away on the periphery like 2009. Add to this that it was classic 2008 scrambling to deal with cancelations and lateness and what field? and what time? and swapping players around to make it work. And to top it all off it was 2006 ugly-ass football. Bunch a mangy Jewballers bumbling around as if they were just learning what the game was all about.
Daveo said it best when asked to talk about the game on TBI. “I don’t want to,” the former Commish said in that lifeless monotone he must have picked up in broadcasting school.
The hour is late so….really what is there to say about this game? There is a final score on the website that represents a fallacy. Something that happened after Zez and I left the field. QBs were switched…scores happened. Think it says final was 6-4 with Gronk on top. Well, if this were Torah, that would be the drash and the recap is the pshat. This game wasn’t close. Zez rolled in a bit late, which didn’t help, but something was so off from jump. Sorry Bert, but I have to. I think one of the first things that went horribly wrong for Dark was on Zez’s first full drive from the 5, he throws a screen to Bert and – granted Zez whips it in and his receivers were all struggling to handle his heat – Bert bobbles it into the hands of Salem for a P6 that made it 3-0. That play represented the entire day. In that Zez and his receivers were not in rhythm. In that Zez made a curious play call having Bert not being a blocker for a screen pass, but instead receiving it. And finally…in that Zez threw a pick. A few – like that one – were not on him, but I think there were 7 on the day (5 to Mighty). Rabin had thrown a few as well. I believe Colors intercepted Dark 9 times on the day. Cue Principal Edward Rooney noting how many days Ferris Bueler missed school.
On the other side….well…we know Gronk loves to take advantage of a discombobulated team. No one exposes weakness like our most powerful ranker. And Dark was exposing itself all day – and not in the way PJs encourages. Munch and Salem had Zez on the run and throwing those picks….and that’s really the story. Think it was 5-1 when the switch was made. And Gronk won after the switch as well. Jewball to Gronk? Nah, he was very good, but Dark made everything so easy for him. We were just a mess. Mighty gets it by default for the crazy number of picks plus the TD.

Week 14 Teams to follow…

1/2/22

Week 14 – Recap

The year has just begun but I’m starting to get that sinking feeling. Another Jewball Season is 3 quarters done. All 3 Bowl Games behind us. So much to look forward to, but even more to look back on. These recaps get harder and harder to write. Not just because keeping it fresh this late in the year becomes challenging, but because…well…it’s depressing that a Jewball season – like all good things – is finite. So be it. Week 14 was very much needed. It sets the stage for the final lap of this 2021-2022 season. My hope is that our best football is ahead of us.
While there are plenty of races still up for grabs and storylines to be written…Who will win the League Championship? Rookie of the Year? Most Improved? TD Leader? One question seems to be answered on a weekly basis – each time with emphasis added. Change the formula, the motivation, the role, the narrative, the players, the pieces, the field position, the weather…Change it all! And yet no one has been able to knock Gronk off his firm position of dominance atop Mount Jewball. For those gunning to do it – 6 Weeks Left. Clock is ticking.
You may be saying….this is supposed to be the recap. Not an Ode to Gronk. Not a ballad of praise for one player when there are so many players having big seasons. Well, you must be right – let’s get to the recaps so I can stop talking about Gronk.

Gronk had a hell of a Week 14. He was slotted in for a both doing double duty as receiver for Pray in Game 1 and QB v. Yaron in Game 2. Yaron, meanwhile, took the ball and manned the huddle in both the early and late game.
No question, Yaron has been on a bad run. He’s not exactly throwing badly, but he’s been stuck in a very Rabin of the Renaissance period category: Just Enough To Lose. You can break down certain things he does well and conclude that he should win the games he starts. No one is more engaged. His arm is brilliant. His will is undeniable. His play-calling is….um…..it’s….y’know….it’s….creative! But you take these pieces – and it’s confounding because they don’t translate into wins as much as you would think. I’m sure Daveo can tell you what his W-L record is as a Jewball starting QB….and…I’m gonna guess it’s hovering around .500. And that shouldn’t be the case for how good he is.
He did just enough to lose both Games on Sunday.
Game 1 it was two egregious picks early in the game that Pray converted into TDs with Gronk to put Yaron in a 2-0 hole before he could catch his breath. Pray to Gronk just looked too easy. That being said, both early TDs came as a result of non-calls (which we like) where Yaron’s squad for sure could have benefitted from calling a pick play on one and a hold on the other. We play through. Back to Pray and Gronk. Pray would basically throw it up in the air and unless Gronk decided to straight drop it (which happened twice), he’d just post up and come down with the ball. I told Mighty – who was in on those plays – there was a time when Mighty would definitely make you think twice about catching a ball over him. You may catch it, but it would be a very violent encounter. May those days return!
While Pray was scoring with relative ease (he looked really good and poised and had an excellent synergy with both Gronk (2 TDs) and Singer (3TDs), Yaron was just unable to find the answers on offense. The final is 6-4 but it was 6-1 for most of the game. Pray had the game won at the half. This week’s TBI guest had a special game with a TD and a sack and a very good showing considering he was up against Munch. Munch got his stats by the end of the game (3 sacks) but I don’t think he had any (or maybe just had 1) while Pray put up his 6 TDs. Too little too late.
Jewball without doubt to the injured Pray for looking uninjured and inspired. Crazy line – 5 TDs thrown, 2 Picks, and a sack! Heal up bro!!! BOP needs you to repeat!
Game 2 was the better game by all accounts, but a tough one to swallow personally as I lined up with Yaron and once again it was a JETL game. Proud to say I was part of it, even on the losing end. It was the first close game that didn’t result in a tie since Week 8. Even better, the score was kept low. Both teams prioritized defense and TDs were hard to come by. As they should be!
In this game, as mentioned, Gronk was throwing for his team and if there ever was a game that shows you why he is in the driver’s seat for season MVP…
I guess we need to start from the end. Tom is getting the Jewball. Why? He scored 2 of his teams 3TDs. He didn’t miss flags on defense. He blocked. And he picked up a bunch of big 1st downs.
I know Tom has gotten Jewballs before, but it is a testament to Gronk’s greatness as a QB this season that he makes everyone look good. Attention Jewball QBs: Gronk gets in the huddle and doesn’t start with a.) who are my best receivers and b.) how can I expose the defense to get those guys the ball. He gets into the huddle and starts with a.) Holy S***! there is huge mismatch here and b.) There is a huge hole in the defense there. He starts with: I’m throwing to the receiver with the mismatch. It’s his job to catch it. I’m throwing to the space in the defense desperate to be exploited. I’m throwing where there is ALREADY an opening.
I feel like some QBs (Yaron, for example) calls plays as if all things are equal. Jordan run a pump and go is a neutral play call. It’s just a thing. It’s words. If Jordan is matched up with someone who will bite (I know who you are)…hell yeah. It’s guaranteed. If Jordan is matched up with Logan…it’s the same play call but it’s just not gonna work. A QB needs to see that it’s Logan out there and either send Jordan to the other side or….do something else.
Same concept, different angle: It’s easy to see which side of the defense is stronger. So how about this…never run a screen to the stronger side. Never. Not once. Make the defense adjust. I feel like some of our QBs do the defense too many favors in the name of “mixing it up.” It’s a good recipe for going home frustrated with an L around your neck.
I’m saying this with no offense to Yaron or anyone, but really as a compliment to Gronk. Tom is tall. Klink is not as tall. Throw it up to Tom. That’s how Gronk’s first TD was scored. By him seeing something and knowing it was virtually a sure thing. I encourage our other QBs to stop making their lives so difficult. If you are play-calling without actually taking into account the defenders – who they are where they are – you are hopelessly spinning your wheels.
Unlike in Game 1, the score was not run up on Yaron. In fact, Gronk was a bit stymied. The fierce combo rush of Legs and Kut produced 7 sacks! Yaron was sticking around, eventually cashing in with a remarkably awesome 4th and long laser beam to Kut in the back of the end zone. And even more fairness to Yaron, his players let him down on a number of occasions. Legs and Rook had almost TDs that a little extra effort and focus would have brought to actualization. Indeed, Prime seemed to have a TD but his world famous stiff arm was called a flag guard by Irv. The same Irv that extends his TD Leader status by scoring on an out, beating Jordan in man coverage easily and putting his team up by 1. Prime would not be denied the next time he got his hands on the ball. Like all of the players in Game 2, Prime was locked in. It felt like a warzone out there. Bodies were flying. Pants were coming down. Yaron, ankle tackle on Logan. Logan, collision with Rook saving a huge game changing gain. Gronk taking a Yaron bullet pass to the face from a yard away and shaking it off.
In the end, it was Tom who made the difference Getting open. Keeping it simple. See the ball. Catch the ball. Gronk will find you. Tom scored on a catch and run to put Gronk up 3-2 and the defense did the rest. Excellent game that stings still for all the best reasons.
Week 15 coming up next. Gronk is out. Who will step up?

1/9/22

Week 15 – Recap

Jewball needed a charge going into the final stretch of the season and Week 15 was supposed to be that. First, because it was going to be a League Game. Then, because it was going to be a tackle game. In the end, it was neither, but I think it still found a way to wake us up from our long mid-season slumber. Because just like that we are looking down the barrel of another Jewball season being laid to rest. Just like that. The Draft Party feels like yesterday. How young and naïve we were. Feit taking Kut no. 2 overall. Yaron still expecting to be the top QB in league. Rabin hadn’t penetrated me or anyone in my family. Laura Curran had a job. And then….in a flash, everything changed. In a Flash, Feit needed a backup QB. Yaron lost a lot. Curran lost a lock. And Rabin took my ass all the way to the bank.

This isn’t to say we haven’t had our moments. We have. Great ones. A few of them were even on the field and related to playing the sport of football. But I’m not gonna kid myself. We have not had many great games of late. The motor got going a bit in Week 14 when Game 2 proved to be a hard fought battle between Yaron and Gronk that Yaron managed to just squeak out the loss. A week later in another wild contest in Game 2, the result was the opposite versus Pray.

Hard not to begin with the tackle game that wasn’t. There was snow. It came down midweek and it was the right amount. Just the right amount. Two very cold but sunny days followed and, though a tackle game was called for, it became a race against time. Would the snow stick around or would it melt under pressure like Yaron in a big game. We looked good for tackle. Singer transformed into Snow Pup and went to the groomer and everything. He was buffed and fluffed and ready to take on the world. Your commissioner checked the field on Saturday night. Still plenty of snow and forecast called for freezing temps until game time. Forecast was wrong. Snow melted over night and by the time PJs and Yaron checked the grass on Sunday morning, we had a windy but bright day and the grass could be seen on the field. The good news was, the turf was deemed playable and we adjusted on the fly as Jewball is adept enough to do. Some parts move around. Tom to early for Effie. Jack and Waldo to late for Storm and Legs. And play ball.

I didn’t see all of Game 1, but I did see enough to know that Pray has made adjustments that are suiting him well. Sam’s excellent defensive play a few weeks ago injuring Pray’s throwing arm may just be the turning point of the BOP season. We shall see this Sunday. A Pray that is forced to think more about the short game than the long game is a dangerous Pray. His playbook has not completely eliminated the forward pass, but he’s certainly embraced the virtues of the run/screen game. They may make for boring football, but they certainly can engender consistently winning football.
It was cold out there for Game 1. Windy and bitingly cold. I couldn’t hang around the whole time. I had seen Pray take off and run one through Yaron’s defense for a score, but I had to go. Before I left I had the opportunity to see Big E stop Yaron on a 4th and short. The dude has quick hands. He may not catch up to you, but if you cross his path, he will pull your flag. I’ve seen him do it every time. What I also saw was Pray miss him for a TD. E is not quick of course, but he runs routes like a receiver. They are direct and his head is on that swivel eyeing the QB ready for the pass. On a 3rd and goal, E slanted underneath looking for the pass. He was open at the 1. Maybe Pray thought Zada would show up and stop Bigs, so he elected to throw elsewhere incomplete.

When I returned to the game a few minutes before the start of Game 2, I was told Pray was up 3-1 and that E and O were having themselves a game. Later that week Munch would talk about I, but that’s a vowel for another day. Pray was running O out from the TE spot and picking up all kinds of yards. And E had caught a TD pass! Had blocked a ball! Had earned a Jewball.

A little history. I met E in Israel. He was not my roommate, but by chance we were neighbors in the dorm. Like he said on TBI, we became closer in YU because he was an out-of-towner (Seattle) and my parents were very hospitable. My friends would go to my parents even (and perhaps purposely) when I wasn’t around. Fast forward 20 years and we get a chat going for my Israel year crew. E and I are reunited. He says he’ll play football. I humor him. It’s a miracle that I can still get out there and I’ve been doing it straight for 21 years. He came down, but I thought he’d break something in his first game and that would be that. Well, he has proven me wrong. And last week he proved himself as a player in this game. He’s not young and he’s not in the best shape. But he is a tough angry bitter son of a bitch. And he grits his way through shit. Jewball to you, old friend.

Yaron lost that game 3-1. I was told his play calling was bizarre and self defeating. Sounds about right. How would he do in Game 2?

Game 2 was madness. Back and forth until the final buzzer in OT. It was once again Pray v. Yaron and Pray was happy to continue to do what worked in Game 1. His first score was a screen to Prime that Prime took down the sideline for 63 yards, thrashing people along the way. Prime protects that sideline like its made of weed. If you are a defender intimidated by his bark and his bite….you have no chance. And Yaron’s crew looked intimidated. It helped that Prime had the metallic purple fangs mouth guard going.

Pray scored again while Yaron was still figuring his shite out. On the ground again, but with Pray running it’s less about intimidation and more about reflexes. How quickly can your brain react to the fact that the QB is….and he’s passed you – flying down the opposite sideline and gone into the distance. 2-0 Pray. It was looking like another stress-free win for Pray and demoralizing loss for Yaron (his 6th in a row). I wish I could say what happened next that turned the tides. From the box score, it seems that Yaron’s squad contributed on defense (despite the numerous missed flags which lead to half of Pray’s points on the day) and Pray’s team did not. Pray was picked twice (both by Jack). Pray was sacked three times (Daveo 2 and Beast 1). Yaron threw zero picks and was sacked zero times. And he started to find his receivers in tight spots. The scoring was kicked off when Yaron found his safety blanket Jack on a cross to make it a one score game. Shortly thereafter, he slings a well-placed ball to Zada on the out from the 6 and we have a ball game.

Bron was on the comeback trail and soon, with the score knotted, the game took on a different dynamic. Although there was an expectation Yaron would eventually do his thing and lose, Pray was forced to make something happen and dig a little deeper. Prime and O were still reliable for the screen/TE roll out combo and – with Yaron’s team missing flags in the first half – drives were easy. From Yaron’s 15, Pray runs right and zings one cross body to a counter-cutting Waldo. What’s Wrong With to Where’s for the score! The giant from Pitt makes a nifty catch using his big frame and mitts and gives his team the lead once again.

Yaron punched right back with an incredibly timed 20 yard pass thrown before MK turned his head but settling into his arms at the precise moment when Waldo had nice coverage but imperfect field awareness. Yaron became really excited and confident. You can tell he’s feeling it when he rushes his team down the field in a way that signals a hurry up offense, but once they get to the spot he calls his players into a 4 minute huddle.

Game tied again which is prime time for Prime time. I wish I could say it took anything more than Prime being Prime. A screen and hardnosed dash to the end zone. The first half ends. Pray takes a lead into the locker room.

The second half starts with a big play by Daveo – who had himself a hell of a game from TE slot. Both teams had made a defensive adjustment. For Pray, they went to a man, with Jordan covering the TE. For Yaron, they stopped missing flags. Jordan watching Daveo worked very well to limit his touches….except for the one time. Daveo springs from the TE slot as if he has the ball, which had been a running joke for a while…except this time he stops and cuts back. Precisely on the cut back Yaron feeds him the ball and the kid takes off. Jordan is still recovering from the cut. Now it is Pray’s team’s turn to miss flags. They oblige and Daveo is through. He has one man to beat. Jordan has tracked him down and MK is blocking some ghost at midfield while Daveo and Jordan size each other up down the sideline. When Jordan is about to close in, Daveo jams on the brakes and – for the second time in the same play – Jordan flies past him. Daveo scores. Game knotted again.

Yaron was really pumped. Pray was confident these scores were mild setbacks. He seemed right. With ease, he put up two quick TDs. One to Tom. One to Jordan. With a half hour to go in the game, chances seemed good Yaron would suffer another almost W. Pray would not score or really do much on offense for the rest of the game. Yaron did a lot.

He starts with a TD to Jack. Routine stuff. No big deal. But it took a while and the clock was not his friend, having been chasing two scores with only fifteen minutes left. Pray was also guaranteed ball last because of….well….yknow….because Jewball. So, on his final possession – Yaron reads the defense and maybe realizes that it’s man coverage and nobody is taking him. Or maybe he just panicked. But, either way….in a big spot and with everything on the line – the man who is broken both emotionally and physically……SPRINTS to the right sideline and gets the edge. He flies down that sideline like his life depended on it and he silences the crowd and his critics and most importantly the millions of voices in his head. Wait…..wait…no….they are still there. Like I said, Pray didn’t do much on offense the rest of the way so the best ending we can come up with here for Pray is a tie.

In OT – which was agreed to be a one and one – Yaron throws a really sloppy bad idea of a pass to…probably Jack…that Waldo picks off at the 20. Yaron hangs his head and starts muttering to himself. He wonders where he left his favorite noose. Pray will surely punch it in from the 20 and another loss will be hung on him before he hangs himself. BUT WAIT! Waldo had it….and then he didn’t. Yaron’s favorite linemen BEAST to the rescue. As heady play as you will ever see….On the catch Beast wraps his arms around Waldo from behind and the ball comes out and hits the floor. No Catch! No Pick! Yaron lives!

And MK lives as well. One thing you can say about Yaron. He never gets scared off by failure. He will keep going back to the long ball. He believes in himself and his receivers. MK on a deep route and the hook up is consummated. Catch and run. 7-6 Yaron. Pray’s final gasp is a pick by Jack. That’s your shoot out of a ball game. Second week in a row I go home with an L but feeling like there was a reason to show up regardless. Jewball to…..I guess Yaron, even though Daveo played very well and Jack had a nice stat line. Yaron gets it because he lead his team. Never more-so than on that final do or die drive when he took off down that sideline with six guys on his back.

1/16/22

Week 16 – Recap

So many storylines were created after the first meeting of FC vs BOP that the What’s Wrong With Pray segment on TBI gained steam. Feit was riding great statistics from that game and Storm looked like an MVP candidate. O and Kut had 2 straight league games of dominance – and BOP looked like a lost team. However, 2 months is a long time in Jewball. And what comes up must come down. Feit and Storm each missed time and Vegh and O each had issues with Feit prior to a league game with the Lionhearts. FC would be without Feit against the Cronies and they were blown out. And with FC now in last place and BOP looking to make a run. What would the results be?

Mother Nature said that this game would be the coldest game possibly in Jewball history. Salem had to sit out. Eddie would as well. Legs had a siddur play which would make him leave early, And for FC, Vegh was and is still in Jersey (his bed ). But 15 Jewballers braved the climate and met for what was primed to be a real tough matchup. Pray started with the ball and showed that he wanted to utilize the run early but FC grabbed some flags and a 3 and out ensued. FC would follow the same path. BOP’s second drive was highlighted by Tom calling for the ball and Pray throwing it with ease for 75 yards and an early 1-0 lead. FC was definitely feeling the effects of a cold QB coming back in the cold from broken ribs. But Feit hung in there until a big Dave-O sack forced them to punt. Speaking of Dave-O, he would get himself some handoffs and take one to the house for a 2-0 lead. Next FC possession was looking good and they were driving down the field with throws to Storm, MK, and Tabak. 4th and 10 and Feit was ready to get his team on the scoreboard after a 3rd down blitz by Dave-O that sent them back, Dave-O jumped on 4th and the line called a free play. Feit kept playing but BOP didn’t. TD to Storm was called off and the redo down got a PJ’s hit on Feits arm that Dave-O nearly picked off. BOP would give the ball back but this time Pray was waiting for his chance on D and picked off Feit for a pick 6. 3-0 BOP. FC looked lost. BOP would get the ball again but this time Pray found Mighty deep to make it 4-0. Mighty on the next FC possession would pick off Feit but Pray threw a bad ball to Storm who had the pick. FC gave it back. Pray would find Tom again for a bobble and toe tapping TD. 5-0 BOP and Legs would leave after a sack and great pressures all game. In comes Walls. FC would have some good drives at the end with TDs to Tabak and Storm. Prime would get in on the action as well with a TD reception. Final score 6-2 BOP. Great to see Feit back… FC has work to do… Jewball goes to my fellow TBI, Dave-O as he was tenacious and instrumental in the win. Honorable mention to Tom Pray and Mighty! But Dave-O made the difference!

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Jewball is an education. In a lot of things. We all know that. One of the first lessons it taught me was that adapting is necessary and expectations are a trivial pursuit. You never know what’s going to happen. I certainly didn’t know what was going to happen 21 years ago when I stepped onto an oblong patch of grass in Flushing Meadows Park – most certainly in sneakers. It’s two plus decades later and I still don’t know what will happen in the next decade or even next week. Week 17 was on the schedule up until a few days before the game. But things change. Things always change. People come and go. Sometimes over the course of years. Sometimes within a season. Sometimes within a span of a few weeks. Jewball has an uncanny ability to audible.

I remember when the Cronies started coming down. But it wasn’t always this exact group. There was a crony named Chadow and he may been the best of em. Certainly the most likeable. Certainly the most competitive. He was a keeper. I remember really hoping he’d stick. I definitely thought he liked Jewball more than Goldberg. I was wrong. Jewball is an education.

We make plans. We call Week 15 a League Game and we circle it on our calendar. Babies are born. Trips are planned. Things change. Week 16 is now a League Game. All the better. It’s the Commish’s 44th birthday. A great day to celebrate. Gronk v. Yaron! The two powerhouse teams coming into League Game 5. The buildup has been enormous. But then we get real life. Tragedy enters the picture and that same Chadow who Jewballed with us at the Revolution’s pre-dawn hours….loses his sister at 28. And Gronk is now out witha funeral to attend. And there goes the game as it was “meant” to be.

But it was played and it was a really good one – all things considered. There is not typo in the next sentence: The Cronies picked up Waldo as a last minute QB replacement for Gronk. Tall, calm, and can throw the ball. Good qualities for a QB. Gronk has those 3 plus a lot of other advantages, but the show goes on – Cronies hoped to give Liohearts a game. And they really did.

It was still cold but not nearly as frigid those who played Game 1 had it. Even though the Cronies were without Gronk and Goldberg – two great players on both sides of the ball – their defense is always formidable simply due to the combined menace of Munch and Solo at the line. Yaron’s options are somewhat limited. Plus he was down Ivry – a leading talent in our league right now. I wish I had the patience to go through the slugfest that was this game. I know it was back and forth. I know it was Logan and Ross over and over and over again for the TDs.

I know Yaron put up 1 right away – even before Logan showed up. Logan came late to the game of his life. Imagine if he could have made it one time! But he was responding to a fire emergency so good him. Pray stepped in for the hero. Jewball adapated. But Pray got pushed around by Singer and the Cronies adapted to the tune of a 1-0 hole.

Waldo actually looked good right away. Jordan – looking 44 on the first drive – dropped two balls and the prospects on offense seemed dim for the Cronies. Once Logan arrived and was there to gnash his teeth at his teammates the defense picked up. Yaron was doing a lot of screens with Singer blocking, which works well, but Munch and Solo are masters of the lateral pursuit.

Waldo then started making serious strides as a QB. Fitting passes into tight windows and making nice decisions. Sliding grab by Jordan. Acrobatic catch by Maor. TD to Logan! Cronies are on the board and the game is tied!
Time for some Steveo Island action. The momentum shifts even further in the Cronies direction as Steveo drapes himself over Ross and gets a pick to show for it on the sideline streak. Waldo converts the turnover into points – once again finding Logan in the endzone. Yaron would soon test that Steveo/Ross matchup again….this time throwing the ball a bit higher and farther and Ross does what he does – uses his size to scoring effect. The game is tied.

Both defenses clamped down for the second half and yards were hard to come by. The injuries started mounting on both sides. Yaron and Solo were limping around between plays. Logan reinjured his groin. Jordan pulled his glute in pre-game warm ups. And Zada took a shot early on that slowed him down. No one made any excuse and everyone kept at it – but when the game would end – only one side would be recovering with something to be proud of. And that side seemed to be the Cronies. Waldo gutted out the 3rd quarter – making smart plays and finding open men. A huge 1st down to Steveo. A pump and go to Logan for another score. A dump off to Logan and a wolverine loping sprint for yet his 4th TD of the game. Could the Cronies hold on? They found themselves clinging to a 4-3 lead with 10 minutes left. The impossible seemed to be happening! A win without their leader and the current MVP of Jewball.

Maybe Waldo had been asked to do too much and it was only a matter of time before the house of cards came crashing down. At midfield – a ball – a catchable ball – high, but catchable – especially for someone like Maor – glances off Maor’s hands and Yaron picks it. And so Yaron begins a drive that will decide the game. They need a score to keep the game going. Everyone knows what happened next. Everyone watched the video 100 times. Slowed it down. Took countless screenshots. Wait….that was just me? And speaking of that video….PJS giving new meaning to a PJS Perspective. The perspective of a man who needs a nice restraining order served on him. Anyway – for those who don’t know – after a sack that drove Yaron back and seemed to have iced the game – Yaron was faced with a 4th and 25 and the prospect of a loss. I can hardly bear to write this….

Waldo had played nice man coverage on Ross after Yaron was picking on Steveo a bit too much – Steveo is a great cover man – but a foot advantage is a foot advantage. Waldo stuck Ross and had batted a few balls away. On this final play of the game….Yaron went to Ross. It was a jump ball in the corner of the endzone. Waldo faded with Ross and the ball was placed deep. If untouched it would have likely landed in the back of the endzone and bounced out. A perfect pass to – say Prime – if Prime were running a deep route to the corner being chased by – say MK. But the dynamics are different with tall leapers. They don’t need to run top speed to a spot to meet the ball when it finally drops into their hands. Tall leapers can stop at a point well earlier. Stop. Leap. And be tall. That’s what Ross did. And that’s why this game went into OT. Waldo was behind him. The pass was a great pass to Waldo if he was the receiver. The problem was….he acted like the receiver when Cronies needed him to be the defender. While Waldo was waiting for the ball….Ross went up to get it. His jump, concentration, and ability to seize the ball from the grip of the sky was a thing of beauty. Heartbreaking beauty. As Logan said…when that catch was made…the game was over. OT would do the Cronies no favors. They were in shambles.

In the OT it was all Lionhearts. Yaron with an incredible flag pull on Jordan in the open field going full out dive that maybe saved a TD. And final play of the game – pump and go to Zada. Prefect throw – perfect hands….TD. Lionhearts win an OT thriller. One of those games where Ross should be content with the stats and the heroic shit at the buzzer.

I never asked Yaron why he named his team the Lionhearts. I just assumed it was because he is and always will be cheesy AF. But I can’t deny what I saw two Sundays ago (And 3 Sundays ago as well). Call it cheesy. Call it a cliché. Yaron played with the heart of a lion. The pick. The TD throw. The flag grab. Three plays that were absolutely essential. 3 plays in all facets of the game that – if any were not made when they were made – his team loses. Yaron WILLED his team to that win. Should it have been that difficult to win? That’s another story for another day. For today, he gets another very well deserved Jewball.

I guess I’ll end with a personal note so as not to disappoint Steveo. As mentioned, Week 16 was touched by both death and birth. The untimely death of a Jewballer’s sister, may her neshama have an Aliyah. An the long ago birth of myself. It makes you think. Birthdays in general make you think. Especially as you get older. Mortality – all that fun stuff. What am I doing here? Has it been worth my allotted time? And – oh shit! – how much time do I even have? And of that time….how much is y’know…gonna be quality time? Birthdays used to be balloons and cake. Now they are systems checks and existential analyses. In a very legit way…it makes them better. Certainly, more meaningful. Before 30 birthdays are Purim. 30-40 they are Rosh Hashanah. 40 and up they are Yom Kippur.

For those of you in the Yom Kippur bracket – this isn’t for you. For the next generation. My wish for you – is that when you get up there and you need to take stock of how you lived (cuz – let’s be honest – 44…you pretty much made your bed) that you have something as fulfilling and unconflicted as Jewball to reference – so you can do that scan once a year and be confident you done good.

2/6/22

WEEK 19 – VETS ROOKS RECAP

There was talk on the Vets chat before last Sunday about pressure. In particular, the inability of the Rooks to bring any. And the unstoppable amount that would be brought by the Vets. This pressure inequality would surely carry the day for the Vets. So it was alleged.

How this turned out – we know.

But there was pressure Sunday outside of that related to line-play. Pressure for the Vets to continue a winning streak that spanned three years and made the Revolution a Jewball era that welcomed in many Rookies, but at the same time kept them in their place. And the pressure was felt by the Rookies to break that chain, stem the tide, stop the trend – and flip the script.

Now there is the pressure on this recap writer to do justice to a Sunday that would defy Homer and Virgil to tell such epics within the physical limitations of the page, let alone the screen. But here we go-

I took some time this week to look back at the origin of Vets Rooks and listen for its echo to inform anything I may come up with here. Not only did I find the very day in 2006 where the idea was born and presented, I found the recap and results of 11 contests. If they were played every year since 2006, I guess we played Vets Rooks XVI a few days ago. Whether its number 14 or 15 or 16 – it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that – like everything in Jewball – we make it more than a game. No, not a cult. A family. A family tradition. A family tradition where half the family leaves inspired and the other half leaves miserable.

Of course what gets to me most reading the old Vets Rooks recaps is the names. I recalled the sting of many many losses. The disappointment with my contemporaries who seemed to be slowing down and couldn’t go next gear to compete. I recalled the excitement leading up to the game and the good spirited but venomous trash talk that always ensued. Sure, all that was apparent and felt afresh. But…it’s the names that really blow my mind. Klink, as he mentioned – was a Rookie in the first game. But by Vets Rookies II he was with the Vets. And he was with me and Rabin on Sunday. As he was in 2007. That’s fifteen damn years ago if you are counting. FIFTEEN years ago, the Vets team featured 3 of the same 7 players that played last week. That’s almost half the team! God Bless Jewball! And as I read it’s like a montage of moments being played – feeling at the same time imminent and ancient. Uri is perplexing the Vets. Yoni bests his brother Yirmi. Doggy can’t keep up with Yehuda. There goes Joey…bye. Mighty and Zez dominate for the Rooks for a decade. Bye Yakir. Bye Yoni. Bye my generation. Snow and Singer add to the Vets’ endless woes. But you live long enough and you are merited miracles. You stick around and put in the work and there are rewards…Rewards that are satisfying because on one level they feel earned.
But just as much they feel overwhelming and very much stolen. Like there must be some mistake. How am I playing on a Sunday with Vets like Steveo, Mighty, Singer, Kut, Munch, PJs, Tom, Daveo, even Gronk. Gronk feels new to me. We’ve been playing together for 5 years! The rest of em….my God! I remember the first time they stepped on the field with us. I remember sizing each of them up, analyzing what they might be, writing them up in some recap. Never in my wildest dreams did I think they’d be running it back with me year after year with the Vets like Doggy and Yoni once did. I know this is becoming about me and that’s not my intention. I’m just trying to convey the enormity of what we are accomplishing together. If Vets Rooks is about anything it is that we are all in this together. Whether this is the game or THE GAME – it’s together. It. Is. Together. Who is with me? We are in this together. We push each other to (our version of) greatness. That is the theme. Vets Rooks is Vets telling the Rooks you will have something to offer even when you are up here with us and it is the Rooks telling Vets you cannot underestimate anything or anyone. We must grow. We must strive. And we do that by pushing each other. It’s support by way of contest. It’s also of course storytelling. It is another chapter in the great and infinite Jewball mythology.

So, let’s get to legendizing:

I will get the hardest part out of the way. The Rooks won the day. That can’t be argued. Two games were played. The Vets won neither. The Rooks won one and tied one. So the won the day. Period. I compliment the Rooks and I temper my bitterness. This will not be a recap of excuses – although I would not be completely out of line to go there, since…well….I’m not – like I said.

Vets Rooks has never been a double header but The Revolution is all about new awesomeness. Over the years, we have done V/R as an age cut off thing and a years of service thing – last Sunday we did both. Game 1 was Vets being over 31 and Rooks being 31 and under. Game 2 was Vets being 5 years of service and Rooks being 4 and under. We have reached an unimaginable stage of this moed (time/holiday) that even with many prominent Jewballers failing to make the pilgrimage, we still had two games of 8s with only Pray playing both. Let that sink in. God Bless Jewball.
For the Seniors: Yaron at QB, E, Munch, Sam, Beast, Tom, Steveo, and Singer. Let’s talk about Singer for a second. To begin with…I love this guy. I told him I am desperate for him to win an MVP so I can soliloquize about him for a few pages. He is always right there, but something goes awry – which is of course so Singer. The guy is such a special player and person….well….I’m gonna save it. Wait for that MVP announcement whenever it comes. Another reason I can’t retire yet. On this particular day he did something remarkable – perhaps with that MVP in mind….He is in Florida for the weekend for a family simcha…..HE FLIES BACK IN FOR VETS ROOKS – He leaves for the airport from the field after doing everything he could in Game 1 to give the Vets a W. So…some might say…he’s crazy. But….it’s never crazy to live a great life. How can anyone think that? We should all aspire to greatness and Singer is showing us how that is done. Life has rules, sure. But so many of the rules we live by we place upon ourselves and they are based on expectations of others. Whenever you think you want to do something great but can’t….think of Singer getting on that flight on Saturday night, coming to the field bright and early, and playing his ass off….then racing over to JFK. And don’t think about how funny it is or belittle it as being a quirky anecdote. That’s an insult. That’s self-defeating. Instead, think about how life can be lived on terms that are transcendent! And f***ing achieve that!

The Juniors were lead by the embattled Feit and comprised of Bert, MK, Effie, Tabak, Zada, Pray, and Solo.
The bottom line is these teams are stacked. Incredible assemblage of talent. I will say that the old v. young game is naturally going to favor the young because…y’know….they usually can move a lot faster than their elders. But we have a Hulk! Well two Hulks. One named Munch and the other named Singer. That gave the Vets a punchers chance. Add to that an all around talented team. Yaron is a hot and cold QB (usually within the same game) who can throw passes of pure fire and just as readily burn his team. Steveo has something forever Rookie about him. You just always believe he is some high school kid who can run for days. Tom has been on a tear. E is just super competitive and angry and that always plays. And Sam can rip off your arms and replace them with realistic other arms.

Yaron and Feit are similar in a way. The problem is never their arms or their play calling. It’s always their decision making. They don’t take what the defense gives them. They scan and scan for something great perhaps, but on 1st or 2nd down sometimes you should just take what is good.

Early in the game Yaron had one thing working very well. Passes to Singer. They hooked up for big yards a number of times, but when he looked elsewhere the result was disappointing. Feit was struggling similarly. He could get a few completions, but was unable to sustain drives. Twenty minutes into the game it was scoreless when disaster struck for the Vets in about 4 different ways. Munch injured his thumb and pulled himself from the game to assess the damage. Yaron dropped back to pass from the Rooks’ 10 yard line and got clobbered by….maybe Bert…and threw a pick to MK who easily took it in for the score. Rooks took the lead while Yaron was on his back. It was deflating moment and the Vets had to consider whether this was going to get ugly fast. It did get a bit uglier. Yaron’s offense was still flailing. Feit looked good in the first half. He had a beautiful fade to MK in the right corner to set up a Zada TD. The Rooks were off and running with a 2-0 lead. Steveo of course made a vintage Steveo pick and the hope was that it was the sign of a turnaround…and it kind of was.

Munch came back in and – although he was not 100% – he was effective in chasing Feit and making him really uncomfortable. Munch would stay in and Feit would not put up another score for the remainder of the game. Meanwhile, Yaron and Beast started to put their differences aside and create some magic. For a good two drives it was the Yaron and Beast show. Beast was taking the Rooks to school with great hands, speed, shiftiness, and stiff arms. Although Yaron did his best to squander Beast’s efforts by going impotent in the red zone, Pray decided to drop a pick and tip the ball to Tom…who caught it for a TD. Vets trailing by 1.

Like Munch, Steveo took himself out for a thumb injury, but unlike Munch, Steveo is human, so he remained on the sidelines for the remainder of the game. Jordan, PJs and Mighty rotated in, with Mighty being the most effective. Basically, he came in and it looked like a different team. Fresh old legs in a game that was an hour and fifteen minutes old. At some point Tom kicked Bert – which everyone liked. We will learn more about this in our recap of Game 2, but Mighty was took the Vets Rooks game as an opportunity to go old school assassin. He picked Pray and nearly took it all the way. With the dynamic duo back together, Singer stepped up and made the catch that tied the game with minutes left. With that….our hero…Snow Pup Singer dashes off into the sunrise – his aura bright and radiant. In OT, Feit still could not rediscover that first half magic and Yaron had the ball last with an opportunity to win the game and give the Vets their 4th win in a row. A spectacular drive ensued of which I can tell you nothing about other than that I was sh***ing in my pants the whole time. Once again, the red zone became his kryptonite and the a 1st and goal stunningly turned into a 4th and goal. As Mighty jumped for a laserbeam in the back of the endzone, the hearts of every Vet from B-sh to BD to Zez to Spira jumped along with him…..but as his cleats landed at least partially on the white strip that marks the back of the endzone….the hopes of a win died. But it was also a non-loss. It was left to the Vets of Game 2 to make seize the day…or not. But that tale is for another day.

Three reasons why Vets Rooks matters (or at least feels like it does). 1.) The Challenge: Everyone has something to prove. 2.) The Tribalism: Like Leagues, the feeling of being part of a defined group rallying united. 3.) The Trash Talk: Every nerve-ending is at attention responding to the digs and barrage of provocations. It heightens the drama like no other game.

But, that is all in the pre-game analysis. Once the ball is snapped, the game itself will dictate whether it mattered or not. This past Sunday, Vets Rooks mattered; both in the pre-op and in the postmortem.

The challenge was real. Gronk v. Pray. Two MVP contenders with pride – going head to head. The Vets being Mighty, Jordan, Rabin, Klink, PJs, Daveo, and Kut. Each bleeding Vet pride more than the next. Wanting to prove that they still got it for themselves and for the Vets of today and yesteryear. The Rooks being Prime Storm and Salem representing a more experienced brand of Rook. Irv, a bit seasoned himself and the standard for talent for the next decade. And true Rooks, Ernie, Waldo, and the namesake Rook himself. Trying to prove that they belong and are going nowhere. That one day they will battle for the Vets. That they will not fade away like so many pretenders have before them.

The Tribalism was real. The Vets were breathing as one. A single organism with so many games and years of Jewball under their belts. Each one knowing how much it meant. Each one knowing exactly what the others were thinking. The Rookies as well, bound by their up and coming status. The chip being large and heavy but shared and resting with its weight divided evenly across their shoulders. The Rookies are usually weakened by their inability to get on the same page. To find common ground. To think like a team. The elder statesmen Rooks made sure that wasn’t going to happen. There was something different about this Rookie team because of what Prime, Pray, Salem and Storm brought to the table this year. Vets Rooks is always about youth v. experience. Well, look the f*** out when the youth HAS experience.

The Trash Talk was real. There are no hard feelings in Jewball. It is all love. But there is healthy competition. And there is aggression between certain players. A desire to best the other. And the Rookies had to eat it for the past three years. They did so. But it had to have been frustrating to take the boasting from the Vets year after year and leading up to the game. They could not respond. They could only think – maybe whisper – “you’ll see…”
To the game.

If it wasn’t on the very first drive that Pray and the Rooks scored, it was the second. Throwing screens and blockers, mostly to Jordan’s side and with Pray running when he needed to….the ball just moved on the Vets. It was a sort of bullying tactic that set the precedent early on. A wise move to make a statement: We may be Rooks but we will not be intimidated. We will impose our will. First downs came very easily. In the end, with Pray at the 5, he does his usual thing running ten yards back and to the right side. The defense shifts over to bottle him up and cover his commitment to the right side of the endzone. But…Pray does something a bit different. He swivels his shoulders and spots Salem wide open at about the line of scrimmage on the opposite side of the field. Pray guns it cross body and Salem makes the catch. Only Klink was patient enough to stay home on the rollout by Pray so he is still there, between Salem and the goal line. Salem at the 5, Klink at the 3. Mano a Mano. Rook v. Vet. Salem ducks in, then out, Klink falls. Salem takes it in. Rooks take a 1-0 lead.

Vets got the ball and did the very same thing the Rooks had done. Marched down the field quite easily. We didn’t use screens because we have Mighty to just run around defenders. And we have Gronk who just finds people open wherever they may be. With Jordan and Mighty running deeper routes, Daveo was open a lot in the first half and making big yard catches. Gronk is also a master of the hips (a hipster) and he can evade flag grabs with a shimmy. Whereas Pray closed the deal on his opening drive with a TD, Gronk feeds the burgeoning Rookie Beast by throwing a pick in the endzone to the Rook himself. Talk about a bad omen. From there it got worse. Vet drives were fruitless when it came to scoring and the Rooks were piling up TDs. Prime was so good on Sunday. I’ll tell you right now he’s not getting Jewball, but I feel like Jewball would not be good enough for what he was on Sunday – if that makes sense. He was the soul of his team. There is no award for that. He (with Salem also very much in that supernatural realm) made sure of the result. The result late in the 2nd quarter was 3-0 Rooks because Prime and Pray had put up 2 more unanswered points.

The Vets called a Time Out! The Defensive scheme wasn’t working. The Rooks were going shot so Mighty at safety was taken out of the game. The line wasn’t getting to Pray. Gronk rushing from the LB was too little too late. New Defense: Mighty plays middle LB. Gronk spies QB and doesn’t rush. PJs and Kut will go after the QB. It changed everything. All of a sudden. Screens were being blown up. Pray couldn’t run (as much). And PJs and Kut were getting real pressure on the QB. At one point PJs put his league QB on the turf with Vet-geance! The Vets knew that Gronk would eventually put up TDs. He always does. So it was a matter of getting stops. The Vets got a stop. Gronk found Kut underneath and Kut made a move with a stiff arm and took it to the house. Vets are on the board 3-1 going into half time.
As the second half started, the Vets had some hope. And that hope went into overdrive when Jordan picked Pray on a deep ball to Ernie and ran it back to the Vets 26. Gronk and Mighty quickly cashed in the turnover with a TD. Mighty, like Prime, came to play on a level that few Jewballer can touch. It’s something some players just have – are born with. Big game fierce. If Gronk put the ball anywhere near Mighty he caught it and turned into bonus yards. And he always covered – just mattered if it was single or double. All of a sudden with 40 minutes to go it was a once score game. The momentum had shifted way over to the Vets. But it still didn’t feel comfortable. The Rooks had a fire that would not go out – and certainly not while they held on to the lead. And as momentum in sports tends to do – it swings in an instant. That instant was an inexplicable pass from Gronk to Waldo. I don’t know what Gronk saw. I mean, Waldo was wide open, but still….he was on the other team. He wears a very unique hat. Every Vet is short. Whatever they case, Waldo with the pick. Perhaps it was another one of those bad omens. Perhaps it was a day where a madenning Waldo pick needed to be foreshadowed. The Vets are barely recovered from the shock when Pray somehow does what he always does – rolls right – and gets past all defenders for a score. It is 4-2 Rooks.

The Vets strike right back but now the clock is at 30 minutes to go. It’s Mighty again. Just making crazy catches and crazy runs and refusing to be denied greatness. He returns the score to a one point Rook advantage with 25 minutes left.

Pray scored again, I don’t really care how, but it made it 5-3. Gronk was under a lot of pressure from Salem and he could not really do as he pleased, but MIghty was always reliable throughout the game. Like I said…throw it to him…he will catch it. When the Vets needed him most in the waning minutes of the game, Gronk tosses a ball to Mighty who was covered stride for stride by two Rooks and he made the catch and left them in his dust. 15 minutes left. 5-4 Rooks.

The Rooks were driving to ice the game with 10 minutes to play. The Vets defense was doing a good job keeping the Rooks from the big play, but the clock was ticking. Vets would get ball last either way, but a score by the Rooks would make last licks meaningless. At midfield, the Rooks faced a 4th and short and decided to go for it. Go for the W. Pray rolls left and looks to dump the ball to Salem underneath, but then decides to run. Of course he is way back because…that’s what he does. Jordan bolts in from the corner and evades Salem’s late breaking block. He meets Pray a yard before the line and manages to get the flag for the 4th down sack and hold. 3 plays later Gronk finds Rabin – the VET of all VETS – to tie the game!
The Vets hold the Rooks to a quick 3 and out. With 3 minutes left, Gronk and the Vets have the ball and with a single drive can win the game and keep the streak alive. Can provide an amazing capper to the recent run of the Vets. And everything came crashing down right away. Right away. On the first snap of what was poised to be a step toward greatness, Ivry rushes and gets a hand on the ball…it sinks instead of zips. Mighty can’t adjust in time. Waldo can adjust in time. Waldo dives for the ball while somehow staying on his feet. I guess that’s a tall person thing. He picks it off his shoe tops. He dashes into the endzone which is 6 yards away. Waldo races through the back of the endzone and spikes the ball in celebration with his teammates racing in behind him like fireworks into the night sky. It is astonishing. For this Vet, it was beautiful and tragic.

There is still time on the clock so the Vets get another drive. But much like when Zada scored that TD in a similarly awesome and hyped game last month when the Cronies faced the Lionhearts…you just knew. Waldo had won the Rooks that game. Whether it was in OT or regulation – you knew. Gronk and Jordan made it interesting, twice converting on 4th downs with desperation throws (pitches). But, like I said…you knew. In the end, the Vets got to about their 22, but failed to tie up the game and send it into OT. The Rooks pulled it out and made their statement. I didn’t even have the heart to remind them to take a picture.

Jewball is not easy. As I said…Pray, Prime, Storm, and Salem lead by example – showing the kind of commitment that is needed as well as playmaking. But…when I look at that game, when I remember that game, there is only one play that is gonna shatter me to my core. There is only play that didn’t make any sense in the flow of the narrative. Every single play in that game I can process. Except for what Waldo did in that final Vet drive. That he got that ball, didn’t fall on his face, and lead all the Rookies out the damn back of the endzone to an after party that they hadn’t even earned yet. If you are a stat-head he also had 2 sacks and the other stupid pick. Jewball to you Waldo. Love that you are now part of this family. As well as your other true Rookies. Congratulations again to all the Rookies who played this year. From the Veterans: We give you a hard time, but we know you are the future. One day this will be yours and it will only continue and be able to do great things if you stick to your craft and our traditions. We really want to beat you next year but in the meantime….thanks for joining us and making it feel like it was meant to be.

2/13/22

Week 20 – Recap

It felt like a privilege to write last week’s recap. This week feels like an obligation. I have very little in the tank right now but want to get this done for you deserving Jewballers. Perhaps the best thing about last Sunday, Week 20 to be followed by Week 17 makeup – is that it was a winter wonderland. A fresh coating of snow lay on the turf with shimmer frozen crytals falling throughout the game. Yaron had a bad week. He is lucky I am not at my full powers. He lost two. Didn’t look sharp. Didn’t give his teams a chance. In the opener he lost to Feit who needed a win and a positive performance in the worst way. He got it. He threw 4 TDs to 4 different receivers. Dobs made a great TD grab over Zada for one of them. Feit ran one in. Jordan finally got his 12th. Feit just looked very good. A lost season is temporarily found. But it’s about what he does next. Whatever it is, he does it with a shiny new Jewball on his mantle. Welcome back to the Club, Feit.
Game 2 was a tad more competitive in that the score was closer. But Yaron was off again. He was picked twice. Once in the endzone. The other was a Dobs P6. Decision making is definitely an issue that needs fixing right now. Pray had a stacked team and won without much trouble 3-1. Jewball isn’t easy since everyone did a little. Let’s go with a defensive juggernaut right now who is racking up the sacks and hosted us all for a superbowl BBQ after the game. Jewball to Salem – a man who demands to be remembered!

2/20/22

Week 17 – Recap

Apologies to Jewball that I’m fading in these final weeks. No show on Week 18/20 and Recaps are delayed and written distractedly. I’ll make up for it in the final analysis.

Week 17 was a League Week. The 6th and final game of a League Season that had a lot going for it but also in need of a few adjustments. What started with a bang in Rabin’s backyard in late September, ended with a whimper at Hewlett High School. 2 games with a lot on the line, but neither amounted to much in terms of competition. The first game had more potential being that it was for the 1 seed. A Prime and Tomless BOP v. a Godlberg and Steveoless Cronies. The strength of Cronies – it’s defense – was on full display. Munch and Solo getting after Pray. Gronk clogging up the middle. Logan, Waldo, Maor and Klink wrapping up and pulling flags. Jordan keeping an eye on things from the safety position. Really….Pray had no where to go. Or at least he made it seem that way. Because he kept going to Mighty. Mighty is great and going to him is an obvious choice….except when it becomes so obvious that that is where he is going. And he went there a lot. Deep balls were over thrown on the entire day was short passes that couldn’t get them any scores. Gronk got bored after scoring 3. Two to Maor in the back of the endzone and one to Jordan on deep cross. Cronies played well and showed the League that they are the 1 seed for a reason. They will he hard to beat. It’s a combo Jewball to the line of Munch and Solo. With Goldberg and Steveo out, the defense would not have done so well if Pray had time. He didn’t. The star power of the Cronies is their line. And they got their team a much needed W.

Walls on Game 2:

Lionhearts captain came into this game on a low. In the previous game Yaron was torched in two snow games, so he had something to prove. Feit, was on a high, there was no more talk of what is wrong with Feit, it was all about Yaron is trash. This day, the table was turned. With Effie and Kuti late to the party, Feit’s boys were left with only Rabin to partner with O on the defensive line. With all the time in the world, Yaron quickly came up with a strike to Jack for the first TD and then just started piling on after that (Ivry – the Jewball TD leader scored next with Singer lead blocking on a reverse). The work of the defense was really the tale of the tape here. Dobs and Beast were absolutely fantastic penetrating to the QB. The heart of the Lionhearts, Singer, once again proved why he is in the running once again for MVP. On the second down of the game, Singer got a safety on Feit and ended the scoring with a TD in the back of the endzone. Jack had 2 and Ivry had 2, but their shutdown D forced FCFT to very few down the field deep completions. After this game, no one is asking what is wrong with Yaron, everyone is jealous that Singer is not on their team (except for Maor).

2/27/22

Week 18 – Recap

A PJ’s perspective…

Jordan will do us all Justice when he recaps the season, so bare with me on this one. In 2013 I made a tough decision by walking away from Jewball for good and decent reasons. My 2nd child was born and I just founded a high school and couldn’t justify limping Monday’s anymore. Jewball needed to be in my rearview mirror. I had given Jewball everything I could. I recruited talent that recruited even more talent. Jewball would be fine without PJ’s, oh so I thought lol. Fast forward to 2019 and I had this urge to play in a few games. The resurgence of Jewball was real and I was in better physical shape and I missed the game. But if you would’ve told me then that I would’ve played the whole 2021-22 season outside of 1 game Becuase of an injury, I would’ve said you were crazy. I honestly consider this season to be a miracle for me. Yes my stats are down, Dave-O! But to hear guys compliment my game and believe in what I can do week in and week out, I am truly honored. To even write this recap is an honor.

Jordan is thousands of miles away in the holy land with Zez. He’s scouting out Jewball 2026 in Israel for all of us! But on this side of the world there is chaos of guys signing up and backing out and guys not signing up but trying to jump in. So we end up Rabin the vet of all Vets getting a lineup of Jewballers who he could only dream about. Probably more than Yaron dreaming about having Solo on his line and I’m not talking about football… Rabin lines up with MVP candidates in Gronk, Singer, Mighty, Munch/Pray, and really good rook in Ernie, and finally PJ’s. Singer designs the defense and Rabin just needs to get the ball to the playmakers. Feit on the other hand has a stacked team on his side. Ivry, Prime, Zada, Storm, Bert, and Sam. These were not the original teams but with Commish away these were teams that we went with. Oh did I mention TD leader was the story of the day. Mighty and Ivry tied and Prime not far behind. Who would walk out as leader after 3 hours of football?

The first game started with some heavy wind action and both QB’s were sensing the issues with the deep ball. Feit stalled early and often. Rabin was able to move the ball down the field on his second possession. Mighty took a mighty screen for a loss of 3 yards into a 10 yard gain. But the play felt like it was 20 minute of Jukes and misses. Next Rabin finds singer on a streak past prime for a big 25 yard first down. Rabin hits Gronk for a gain of a bunch of yards. Finds singer again and now they’re in goal line territory. Who do you get the ball to? It’s Mighty time…. Screen to mighty with great blocking by Singer and Munch and In for the score and TD leader. Feit wanted to respond but some pressure by Munch and the change up of Singer/Gronk from MLB blitz complicated the day for Feit. Munch would end up with 3 sacks for the 75% of the game he played. Feit had storm on a great pass that storm reeled in only to have only one foot in. Rabin works another drive down the field and this time it’s Ernie who gets screen and block to make it 2-0. After that score, both teams trade a few 3 and outs. Feit is still in this game but makes the mistake of forcing a pass that Gronk came from nowhere to pick off. Rabin has great field position and first and goal at 3 after a great catch by Gronk. 4 plays for 3 yards and they can ice this game. Rabin fails score and Singer avoided a real injury to his back. Ivry’s defense on Mighty was more about the TD lead than the game. Feit gets the ball back at around 9:15 and Munch leaves in comes Pray on the D-line. Feit throws a bad pass and it’s picked by Singer who starts taking it back and but it’s called back Because Pray got the sack first. Rabin’s squad is getting matched up well by the D. Feit finally gets a drive going to atleast end the shutout. Hitting storm for a big 30 yard catch and pumping up the team. Prime makes a great sliding catch though he was out of bounds and not even close. Feit on 4th down wants a score and is pressured into heaving the ball up and who catches but Ivry who is tackled by Singer and preserves Mighty’s TD lead. 2-0 Rabin and gets the win. Now Rabin isn’t a starting QB in this era of Jewball but he served his role well today. So who should get the Jewball? Mighty? Rabin? Gronk? The Jewball belongs to Singer, big catches all game and his blitzing of Feit which lead to a sack and other pressures. He read every screen and was the QB of the defense. He is the heart of every team he plays with. And there is a reason why he wins, he is going to do the everything on every play. Singer earned this Jewball

Game 2, needed some fixing as well. So Saturday night, Pray and Yaron played commissioner as PJ’s did in game 1 😉 . They drafted their teams and they were ready to face off. Yaron lined up with Ivry, Salem, Rook, Eddie, Beast, and Gronk vs Pray with BOP teammates Prime, Legs, PJ’s, along with Zada, Rabin, and Storm. This game had a lot of action right away. Yaron moved the ball the down the field with ease. He hit Beast for a first down, and Gronk as well. Finally on 3rd and goal he wanted Ivry to tie the TD leader but forced a ball and it’s dropped. 4th and goal and forced to Ivry at goal line who hauls it in and takes a 1-0 but more importantly ties Mighty for TD leader. Prays first drive looks good and they move the ball a bit down the field with screens to Prime and Zada but eventually they have to punt. Yaron’s very first play is deep pass to Rook who takes it to the house for a 70 yard TD and a 2-0 lead. So if your Pray and it’s windy and you’ve get Legs and Prime what do you do? You run it yourself down the sideline for a big 70 yard run and his teams first score. Yaron instead of sticking to what works for his team decided to get cute and keep Gronk engaged. So he screens to Gronk for a pass. But Gronk the MVP candidate decides to throw it Zada whose on the other team. Zada takes it to the house for a pick 6 and just like that we are tied at 2. We would be tied at 2 for a while. Scoring stopped until 10:50. Good plays on defense for both teams. Beast and Salem played well on line and Legs was a monster for his defense. Yaron calls a QB run who gets great blocking and looks like he might get close to scoring but a holding call is made. Play stops. Rook and Legs get into a shouting match about what is deemed a hold. Yaron is upset that his run is called back and Prays team is confused. A couple of plays later PJ’s gets in on Yaron tips the ball and Pray picks it in the endzone but this time another hold is called and pick is taken back. Legs and Rook are getting into again. But this time Rook is happy since it hurt Legs team this time. Yaron gets another chance and finds Gronk in the back of endzone for the lead. I want to get into a Rant on this sequence but tune into TBI! It’s 3-2 and Pray has a chance to tie the game. He marches down the field and gets within 5 yards of the endzone. Its 3rd down and run play to Legs is called but Legs isn’t there Pray sees PJ’s in the endzone open but Yaron plays it well nearly picks the ball off to preserve the lead. On 4th down Pray finds Storm at the 2 yard line who makes a move and dives into the endzone only to find that Gronk got his flag at the 2. Yaron wins and on this day with his great throwing in the wind, spreading the ball around to all receivers, and diving to stop a TD at the end. Yaron gets another Jewball! Beast is an honorable mention who made a lot nice catches throughout the game.

While the recap made these games sound better than they were. These games were tough to Enjoy. It was cold, windy, but very little excitement. Jewballer always play hard but this game lacked emotion. If you asked me why? It’s Because we all know what’s next week. It’s Playoff season. Today felt like a practice rather than a preview. Next week is all that matters. Stats are done and whatever you’ve done all season means nothing. Playoffs are a different bread. BOP vs LH and FC vs Cronies, these teams are all built differently but every player has one thing in mind and that’s playing for the chip. Looking forward to previewing the game with the TBI crew. Congrats to Mighty and Ivry on the TD leader tie. And let’s go BOP!!

3/6/22

JEWBALL PLAYOFFS RECAP

Cronies 6 – FCFT 3

Twas at the dawn of the sun on that auspicious day. Thine families gathered within their broods preparing for the epic battles which were destined to be waged that fateful morn. Thus the hot eye of heaven doth shine unto the clear fields of Lawrence, thine fields both lined up in unison. Thine Cronies vs thine Feit Club and Lionhearts vs BOPeth. Twas unknown how bloody the battles would become and how many bodies would be left on the field on what will forever be known as Red Sunday.

Tis a tale of great glory between the Cronies and Feit Club. Thine Cronies were barely able to scramble a team together in what was the first tragedy of the day, Logan, we’d later find out was having a most painful stomach virus. (picture the bathroom scene from dumb and dumber) Gronk, Solo, Munch, Klink, Maor, Jordon and Waldo on one side, facing Feit, O, Kut, Storm, Vegh, MK, Rabin and Rook. There was a lot of talk going into the game, would Feit Club finally come together as a team? Would Munch and Solo continue to wreak havoc on the QB’s? Would Maor actually show up? How high would Klink be? Would Vegh get any passes from Feit?

Right from the start, it was clear that people were amped. As if the bloodlines were filled with flagons of heavy wine flowing strongly, beating like a thunderous rain, through the cold veins. Cronies scored early with a long Gronk pass over the top to Solo, catching the FCFT with their pants down. 1-0. In a quick and methodical response, Feit marched back down the field and with a beauty of a pass over the defense, MK makes the first of his ridiculous diving catches. 1-1. In a string of solid defensive plays, FCFT gets a pick but fails to score on the ensuing drive. Cronies make a few plays but then try and go for it on 4th and short and fail to pick up the first. Feit uses the opportunity to go up 2-1 with a deep pass to speeding Rook. (let’s give credit to the kid who showed up week in and week out, not knowing if he’d even be playing. He will forever be known as Rook but he will go a long way if he keeps bringing that fire and passion) It would be the last time FCFT would have the lead. In what could have been a game changing play, Gronk lobs one up and it hits Feit smack in the chest, only to bounce away, along with hopes and dreams of Feit Club. In the next drive, Gronk once again hits an open, leaking Solo who takes it 70 yards before being brought down. A well-drawn play by Gronk has Waldo speeding across the middle of the end zone and makes a great catch. 2-2. It is a great battle at the line between the top lineman in the league Munch and Solo vs Kut and O, it lives up to the hype. Each down would be hard fought and would dictate what would happen in the rest of the play. Solo finally learned to pull a flag and got 1 sack on the day. Munch would have a lot of pressures and end with two sacks on the day. Kut managed to find his way to one sack and O had his share of pressures on Gronk. Gronk managed to create another scoring opportunity and took the lead for good, going up 3-2. Feit club was able to get a few drives together but couldn’t get down the field. The game was close, each play, each set of downs would be important, each catch and each drop would be integral to a win or loss. On a 3rd and long, Gronk is feeling the pressure of the rush and somehow throws a laser over the defense for a back shoulder pass to a streaking Waldo, who makes the catch and manages to hold on as he goes down hard into the sideline. (Gotta give credit to Bentzi, it’s great to see a guy develop and improve right in front of you. End of last season and beginning of this season, his hands weren’t there. He was quick, had height, but couldn’t pull the ball down. But, like rook, he put effort in, he stayed after games to practice and learn from guys like Yaron, Ivry, Feit, and Jordan. He worked on himself, and we are now seeing the fruits of his labor. MVP of vets/rooks, and a great game on Sunday.) Well as we said, he went down hard. His shoulder was hurting, but he tried to get back into the game for the next play. No bueno. This time the pain was too great, he tried to come back, but it was too late. This led to a conundrum on the Cronies, they were down to 6 players with no subs available. Unless…. “Hey Steve-O, you only have one hand, but can you at least pretend to play?” “Hey Goldberg, you’ve been standing on the sideline yapping away for an hour, you wanna get in?” ultimately, it was Steve-O who would sacrifice his body and Shalom bayis for the love of the game. (He magically had his cleats with him, so that tells you something.) After getting Goldberg to tie his laces, (seriously, guy had only one usable hand.) Steve-O joined his Cronies. No Gronk, you can’t put him on the line and hope that we’ll feel bad attacking him. On that same set Gronk finds a leaking Solo once again who manages to stiff arm his way to the end zone for another TD. 4-2. Feit takes the ball on the 5 and puts together a couple short plays. 4th and long, have to go for it, MK comes into the huddle and says, “give me a back shoulder at the marker.” Feit draws up a play and manages to throw a bullet to MK who makes another incredible diving, back shoulder catch at the first down marker. Building on that momentum, Feit marches down the field and ends the set with a pass and great catch by Rabin for a TD. 4-3. Gronk gets the ball back and wisely calls run play after run play to eat up the clock and with heavy pressure coming after him, escapes the sack and throws another TD. 5-3. What would be the final score of the game. Feit club had a chance to make it a closer game. A great ball to Vegh with a tackle/flag pull by a one-handed Steve-O gets them to mid field. Another beauty of a lob looked like it was going to land right in the hands of Vegh streaking down the left sideline, only to be picked off by Gronk, who reached out at the last second to end the drive and the hopes of a FCFT win.

Jewball is tough here, and since the season is technically over, is there even a Jewball to be awarded? I’m open for discussion, but I think it has to go to Solo, guy was amped, body literally shaking with the pre-workout he chugged before the game. He had 2 TD’s, 1 sack, lots of pressure and countless plays. His stiffarm is deadly and he’s very difficult to bring down.

The game was truly a hard-fought battle, both teams played well. Feit Club had its chances, but just couldn’t pull through. They needed to play a perfect game, but alas, twas not. There were injuries on both sides, Feit had a badly bruised knee, Waldo’s got a fractured shoulder, Kut’s got a sprained finger, Solo could only do half a workout, and everyone who played is in just general soreness and exhaustion from leaving everything on the field.

This however doesn’t compare to what was happening in the BOP vs. lionhearts game…..

Lionhearts 3 – BOP 2 (5OT)

A PJ’s Dazed and Confused Perspective!

The postseason In every sport presents itself with the best teams from the regular season. In Jewball, while everyone makes it, that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be there. Every Jewballer plays with heart and soul. We embody our leader J, and the leaders before him. Sunday which will be given the name “Bloody Sunday” or “Red Sunday”, for so much that occurred on the field, will be a day that Jewballers will be speaking about for another decade. This recap will focus on the Lionhearts vs the defending champions, Birds of Pray, aka BOP. This is also the championship rematch of Yaron vs Pray. However this time Dobs will be on Yarons side after Yaron snatched him in the 6th round of the draft. More on Dobs later.

These two teams match up so well on paper and the regular season provided the same evidence. BOP won the first game of the season 2-1 and they tied
2-2 in the fourth game. Although, LH were never at full strength for those games, BOP was 1-0-1 against them and Pray has had the edge on Yaron in league games since it’s inception. Yaron has yet to beat Pray in the league. The # 2 seed Lionhearts are led by their QB Yaron and he lines up with Singer, who was voted by his peers as the MVP of the season, Ivry (TD leader), Jack, Zada, Dobs (MIP of the season), Beast, Big E (late scratch sort of!), and Sam. #3 Birds of Pray are led by their QB, Pray who lines up with his first round weapon and the co-TD leader and possibly the most dynamic Jewballer for the last 12 years in Mighty, Prime his bestie and most reliable stiff arm, Legs the killer( more on that!), Salem, Dave-O, PJ’s, and Eddie. Tom who was lost for the season was very missed! These two teams know each other and you knew this would be a battle for all 90 minutes… cough cough, 3 hours!

Pray starts with the ball but goes 3 and out after some short yardage plays to Mighty. Yaron gets the ball and BOP defense knew they needed to play at their best. And they did. Yaron gives it right back. Pray goes back to short game but it doesn’t work. Yaron gets the ball back and starts getting some throws to Ivry and they get the games first, first down. But they eventually give it back. Pray starts moving the ball and it starting to work but he’s got a 3rd down at the 50 and launches it deep but is picked off by Zada at 20 yard line. Yaron begins another drive with getting the ball to Zada for yards. Then find Jack over the middle but Dave-O thinks he has a INT, Jack holds on but is tripped and hits his head on the ground. Jack didn’t look good. We helped him off the field but his day was done. Yaron’s troops were worried about Jack but it was 8:40 and they needed a win. Yaron finds the man who took him down in the championship last year in Dobs for the first score of the game. PJ’s is pumped up and Pray can sense it. He finds PJ’s open down the sideline for a big 35 yard reception and a first down. The next play Pray runs for a 30 yard TD to tie the game.

LH would get the ball back but this time Dobs is coming off the field and enter in Big E(shh his wife can’t know!!) in his regular clothes. LH were down to 6 players and he stepped up. Dobs and Jack on the bench. Yaron stalled on his next drive. BOP gets the ball back and are trying to take the lead until Sam calls Pray for being over the line in the first controversial call of the game. BOP gives the ball back. Yaron and LH just cant sustain drives. BOP knows they have one Mighty drive left until the siddur play. Pray has wanted to hit Mighty deep all year and he finally connects! 2-1 BOP and it’s 9:15. Mighty Walks off the field assuming the championship is in sight next week. BOP is down to 7 players. Dobs back in the game, Big E gone as well. Kudos to E, he was sick and found a way into the game to help his team. Yaron knows he needs to tie. So he finds a weakness in the defense and hits Singer for 40 yards and gets great field position. Yaron is positioned to tie. He gets a few short yardage plays to get another first and now it’s first and goal. On first down he runs it to get close to the 10. Second down Eddie calls Yaron over the line which is a very questionable call and it’s a loss of down. And he can no longer run. 3rd down he finds Ivry who can’t hold on in a tight pocket throw. 4th down, game on the line, the ball is going to Singer. Singer makes a PI call just before the ball hits off singer and Prays hands and falls incomplete. Everyone is confused. Singer never makes a call and if he does it means it’s legit. A call is made and must be respected even If BOP doesn’t agree. LH get another chance and Ivry one on one with Salem makes a nice Catch to score. Game is tied. Both teams get one last chance to score but BOP fails to do much. Lionhearts are now driving to win the game. This is where things get crazy. Yaron hits Singer for a big first down. Then Yaron takes one himself and PJ’s tracks Yaron before the first down marker but Legs who is trailing Yaron collides with his teammate head to head both players are on the ground and laying on the next field. Legs appears to have gotten hurt as well but PJ’s holding Yarons flag in his hand. Pj’s is hurt and is concussed, but he tells everyone that he is ok when he is clearly not. First down and goal. Yaron throws to beast who drops it. Second down Yaron is sacked by Legs. Third down Ivry calls PI on Prime but prime argues that Ivry was out of bounds. LH get another 3rd down. Yaron goes deep to Ivry, who beats pray and drops the game winner. Tough catch to make over Pray but it’s down to a 4th down play again. Yaron once again will target Singer but Pray once again is their to stop it.

First Jewball playoff overtime. BOP gets the last licks and Yaron starts with the ball at his own 5. He throws a screen to singer and he gets some yards. On second down Yaron rolls out and looks deep but Legs hits the ball as he throws it. It’s a helicopter in the air and Pray the leader in INT’s picks it off. Pray runs it back to the 18 yard line and BOP with a chance to walk off and win the game. However, on the run back, Beast took a shot and hurt his shoulder really bad. He had to leave the game. Klink comes into the game and on first down grabs a nice flag on a QB run. 2nd down Pray hits a screen to Prime and they get down to the 7 yard line. 3rd down, Pray rolls and finds a wide open Salem who can’t hold on Because he thought he might go out of bounds. Salem is a great dude and he brings so much to Jewball and BOP, but it’s not on him, yes he should know the out of bounds marker, but just like it wouldn’t have been on Ivry if LH lost. BOP would have another chance.

But at the same time of the drop, a collision happens and it’s a scary one. It involves this author and prime, yes teammates. The video is weird to watch. I lost a good 10 minutes of my life. I’m told that I was out cold for 4 minutes but I only remember being in ambulance and feeling all confused. I should’ve left the game after the Legs collision for the sake of my family. But dammit you Jewball fam, thank you for calling Hatzhalah and 911 and ensuring that my life and safety were in the right hands. I’m thankful to all of you for the photos but mostly by informing my wife of my condition. Yes a part of me wishes I had woken up on my own. But I had given BOP everything I could as I promised. My health and safety needed to come first. I was told Prime took a good shot as well. Luckily he was ok to continue….

But why?? Why didn’t anyone stop this madness? More on this for TBI! It’s 10:30 and Legs needs to leave and ambulances take PJ’s off for what might possibly be his last game! BOP needs 2 players and Rabin and Jordan come in. Sam needed to leave and LH got a replacement as well. We finally resume play and on 4th down Yaron and Singer bottle up prime at the 1 and the continuation of Overtime happens. I will not go into this back and forth in OT. These were not the same teams or players who started. But In college overtime #4 and at 11 am, Dobs came down with the game winner a 15 yard TD from Yaron. Dobs is the MVP of the game. Played hurt and applied pressure on Pray all game. 2 TD’s and the game winner!Yaron made the right draft pick and Dobs rewarded him!

This was a rough one to win for the Lionhearts in terms of the injuries and the rosters and it’s not how they drew it up. injuries and people leaving will diminish the battle between these two teams. Both Yaron and Pray did everything they could do to get their teams the W, Some feel a rematch should happen… But Lionhearts get the W and they earned it!! They will do battle with the Cronies at a TDB time for the chip….stay tuned to Kut’s recap on that game!

3/20/22

JEWBALL ’21-’22 – SEASON RECAP

This just happened. This is real life.

Last Saturday afternoon, I had time to kill. Amy and I walked down Hungry Harbor road in North Woodmere toward the footbridge. I was telling her about Purim by Daveo – now, just a few houses down from the bridge – and about visiting Munch to cap off the night – just a few houses further. We turned and crossed the bridge. We were actually on our way to see Yaron and his dogs when the Markfelds passed us on their way to a different friend (non-Jewball). Their plans changed. They welcomed us in to their home with such enthusiasm. Showed us their dogs and their incredible view. This is a guy who I had a Championship Game against the next day. A guy I killed on the chat all week. There is a context – one might say – where Yaron and I are enemies – or at the very least adversaries. But in the real world…I was thrilled to see him and he to see me. My wife and his wife bonded knowing their connection is powerful and permanent because of what Yaron and I have established. Seeing his kids destroy and abuse him in his own home was fun and made me wish I could share the news. We left Yaron’s house with the plan to follow Midway make our way to Branch. A few steps ahead is a frum looking family. Hair coverings and payis tucked begind the ears and lots of kids and strollers. The husband turns back for a second when he hears our footsteps behind him.

“Hey!!! J! What are you doing here?”
My eyes light up: “Was actually just visiting my Jewballers.”

Big smiles.

He gets it. He GETS IT!

It’s Adam Sigman (aka AdRock aka Sig) – as passionate a Jewballer as there ever was. Played in the late Renaissance and early Dark Ages. He was so into it and was such a pure animal on the field (Loganesque field etiquette) – I remember feeling bad that he missed our best days when the Renaissance was booming. Croton had begun. We were losing people and our consistency. Sig retired because of the disappointment. Twice. He became a family man. Put on the black and white. Grew payis. There is a context where we would otherwise be strangers – passing on the streets of Woodmere with a soulless Good Shabbos. But in the real world – we are bothers for life. Every time I see him. It is a lightning bolt of recognition sparking an inferno of blazing memories at our deepest core. He laments that Marino left the game and we didn’t have QBs of his caliber to step up. As if the loss was recent and sharp. He laments his physique. He comments that I am still skinny. I say you need to get back. I tell him about our great players and QBs now. That he would LOVE it. He says: Maybe I’ll come back since you have great QBs again. We pass some guy standing on his lawn in shorts and a t-shirt. Big mop of jet black hair on top. Squinting face. I hardly pay attention. Sig and I continue to reminisce about games that took place ten years earlier. Maybe more.

“Jordan?”
It’s the guy on the lawn, calling my name. I look over.

“Ike!!!”

I say to Sig, “Now, this, “ – pointing at Ike – “is a Jewball legend!”

And Ike really is. He, Klink, Uri , and BD were the heart of the Golden Age. When we moved from Queens to the 5Ts….we were a bunch of Queens guys wandering in a new land trying to plant our flag and institute ourselves on foreign soil. Who were we? Nobodies. We had no claim to stake. No reputation to tout. But Joey had played softball with some of these kids…and he brought them in. And they came. They gave us credibility. They fell in love. They made it a family again. They had an edge. They played for fun. They were high as hell and they elevated us to levels we would not have imagined. That generation was the first “new” generation in my experience. It made me (and Rabin) realize that Jewball is not just OUR game, but it’s a desirable product. It’s an invaluable commodity. And there is market hungry for it. Starving for it. It was a revelatory moment in our evolution. Everything we have now emanates from that class of Far Rock kids.

I told Ike that Klink and I are playing in a Championship Game the next day. I told him if Klink is playing, he for sure can. He gives me that typical comic Ike laugh. The only thing aging him is the paunch. Kid was a rail in cargo pants back in the day. But he has the same face. Same hairline. Same glowing demeanor. He was the first to convince me to keep stats (so get on him!). He even created a spreadsheet on Excel which we called the Ike-omatic because it tallied up the stats and kept everything in neat columns. This is before Sledge made us website 1. And twelve years before Yaron made us website 2. Ike is part of the tapestry. As is Sig. As is Yaron. There is a context where Ike is someone I once knew – a long time ago – for a short period – and we have not only lost contact but are entirely indifferent to the tie that loosely binds us. A slipknot made from a tattered rope that has withered to nothing – and our encounter should be meaningless, if not awkward and clumsy. But in the real world – it is awesome and stunning. Considering how the day was going. Yaron of the Revolution, Sig of the Renaissance and Dark Ages, and Ike of the Gold Age. Me – like a needle weaving them all together into that luminous tapestry – one to the next to the next. Ike and Sig share a few words. Try to do the math. See if they crossed over at all. Maybe they played in a game or two together. I neglected to mention that the very Marino who Sig was praising a few moments earlier is married to Ike’s sister. I invite Ike back. He says add me to the thing (by “thing” he meant chat I am sure). I will. Maybe we will see him again. We live in the time of fulfilled Jewball miracles. We will get to those soon.
I wonder what my wife was thinking as we buzzed through town, pollinating Jewball flowers – quite by accident –refreshing and revitalizing the growth of long ago sewn seeds. So much history that doesn’t feel like history at all. I feel like I’m on the field with Ike and Sig every time I am on the field. I really do. Because we are all bringing our pasts into the game. The people we played with. We learn something from every one, don’t we? Our games are creations in the aggregate. Who has taught us up until this point? Who will teach us next?

A day earlier I was on the phone with Legs, who has taught me a lot. Really. A lot. Both on and off the field. Our Man of the Year. He has a way of being incidentally wise. We were talking about Purim and I was telling him how great it was to celebrate with Jewball and how – by my simple gesture of inviting the guys over – it made my Purim more special and meaningful than it had been in a long time. I guess I expressed my surprise how impactful it was for me to see the guys come out. His response (of course with a doofy knowing laugh) “Jordan, of course it was great. These guys are your friends! I don’t understand” (He says “I don’t understand” a lot, but he understand everything.). This is a guy who took me into his family dynamic when I was alone in LA, making sure I had a proper Shabbos. When I kept thanking him and thanking him for the favor….he stopped me, and again – the same theme – trying to drive it home: “Jordan, when are you gonna get it? We are friends.”

I’ll tell you why I don’t get it, Legs. Because there was a time – and for a long time – when Jewball was just a Sunday morning world. A great world built by great Jewballers; a world apart that had all the life-affirming rigors of kinship and competition – but it was relegated to its box. It was compartmentalized into an untouchable space and conscientiously kept secluded and apart. It was sacred, but it was not the real world. I once saw Dorothy in Mike’s Burgers and it was….weird. Jewballers were not supposed to exist outside of a patch of grass behind Woodmere Middle School. We weren’t supposed to see them in suits or yarmulkes. If I would have gone to a Jewballer’s kid’s bris – it would have been: Whoa, why is that guy from Sunday morning football here? Creepy. Did I leave something on the field?
We shared the game we love. We were Jewballers and that meant something. For sure it did. But that’s where it was supposed to remain. That was the mandated limit as agreed between the parties. This is the code. This is the way. We did not share our lives. We were not actual friends.

The Revolution started to change that. I’m not sure why or how. I’m not sure why we started relying on each other more – in more profound, complex ways. Expecting more. Being more comfortable with stepping over the lines and boundaries between Jewball and real life. Certainly, it has a lot to do with the kinds of guys that were coming in. Zez – for one stand out – has a tremendous heart. He made it feel like a family. He inherently doesn’t see the lines and allows you to ignore them as well. Maybe I changed. Maybe as I aged I became more sentimental and emotional and it started a chain reaction. One thing I am sure of is that this season changed us forever. It was building up for a few years, but it was cemented this past year. We are now something new. Something that permeates every aspect of our lives (depending on how interested you are in such things). Sharing occasions off the field is as natural as catching a pass on a Sunday morning. Sharing holidays. Celebrating marriages and births and whatever occasions Mighty has to leave for in the middle of a playoff game. Supporting each other when we are scared about what fate has thrown our way. Using our talents and skills and connections to provide a safety net to those who need it. It’s remarkable. We have graduated into something that is beyond where we were even a few short seasons ago. The Revolution was a phenomenal success. The most qualitative and quantitatively successful era Jewball has ever known. But at some point this season we crossed over to another era. One that pushes through a barrier we – for a time – believed to be not only impenetrable, but necessary. The walls between Jewball and the real world were made for a reason! They protect it, we convinced ourselves. They keep it safe! We bought into that premise. We don’t buy into it anymore. The Revolution is over. Long live The Enlightenment.
This is the first time we KNOW that a season being over is not goodbye. It’s not, see you next fall. There is a loss, for sure. The football is our lifeblood. We would die without it. But, The Enlightenment is an era that recognizes and embraces that Jewball has SO MUCH more to offer – and that is okay! Not only is it okay, but it’s been our destiny all along. We just didn’t know it.

And we are just getting started. We are only first accepting this new version of reality. Who knows where it can go?

I don’t need to point out all the benefits of being enlightened. Chanukah, Purim (even our canceled parties are great!), Softball, Sumer BBQ, TBI, Draft Party, Friday kiddush, the myriad of storylines that don’t even register for the entire group (like my Shabbos in LA). There is so much to look forward to. But today is also a day to look back. As I always say and will always say – no matter how enlightened I may get….

Jewball requires good, gritty football. Requires skilled and committed players. I think we have been extremely blessed. We always had the best people. Now the best people are also the best football players we have ever had. There were some lulls in the action this season. A lot of distasteful and unsatisfying ties. But the games were generally very good. I think. They feel like a blur right now. Spira coming back for the Bowl Games is an impossible dream realized. The addition of our EXCEPTIONAL Rookie Class gave us all so much pride (Bert, Ernie, Rook, and Waldo – Thank you!). Vets Rooks could make me cry if I dwell on it. I’m so proud to have battled with my Vets, but the Rookies wanted it so badly and their desire to win was and is so inspiring.

Leagues can improve. We all know it. And they will. Feit will draft better as he knows the players better. We will have the League Schedule less spread out. We will have the playoffs in the middle of the season (like the All Star Break) so that players are not so broken for ‘em. We will just do what we always do, which is strive to be better and have things make as much sense as possible, Daveo notwithstanding.

The League Playoffs, which were not recapped, were memorable, but Red Sunday, yimach shmo v’zichro, happened. Was a bit of a mess. In the end, Gronk beat Yaron in a rather boring Championship game and Maor took MVP. You know all this. We live in the post-TBI era. Recaps have become a bit antiquated and obsolete.
In that final contest it was Gronk’s team – The Cronies, over Singer’s team – The Lionhearts, for the victory. Which brings us to a different contest.

I have to go back to what we talked about earlier. And I have to get maybe as real as I get in these recaps (I have a bit more license to do so in the Season finale). I do not have a savior complex. This is not a cult. I am not a cult leader. I may have always had a sort of paternal attitude toward my Jewballers ever since I became Commissioner. And I’m sure that inclination only increased as I got older and some of the guys got younger. Listen, I don’t know the details and I’m no yenta. I don’t know what goes on in people’s lives. But I can tell when someone is a bit lost and is looking for an outstretched arm. For a lifeline of sorts. I saw that at one point with Gronk. And I saw that at one point with Singer. I reached out but I didn’t know if either would reach back. All I can offer is Jewball. And whatever goes along with it. The distraction. The support system. Gronk, I thought maybe – but he is always on his own trip – he is tough to read. Singer – I would have sworn it was a futile effort. I never gave up on him outwardly. But I gave up on him because I didn’t believe he knew who I was and who we were.

Singer was MVP’s boy. That’s how I knew him. That’s how I met him. I think Oren told Snow that there was this game called Jewball and Snow figured he could bring his Croton crew in pre-Croton-season and warm them up. He’d beat up on some Jewballers, get his timing down, run some plays – and move on. We were desperate. We said: Thank you, sir. May I have another. Singer was one of those brutes MVP brought down. Picture Singer ten years younger, ten inches slimmer, and I honestly think he was five inches taller back then. He was mesmerizing. I remember one time at LHS (grass) I made a really nice catch reaching up blindly at full speed and Singer said “nice catch” and it was like a celebrity crush had acknowledged my existence. Truly never thought he would play without Snow. I hoped, but it was unrealistic. A few years later, when Jewball was knee deep in darkness, I saw him in North Woodmere Park playing with a Croton team and I was walking by and he gave me a big greeting. I was like…This guy remembers me? And he’s like “I’m coming back!” Big Singer smile. I was like, sure you are. You don’t even know who I am.
Then I would see him over the years. Every time: I’m coming back. And he was in worse and worse shape each time I saw him. So my hopes of playing with Singer went from slim to none (no pun intended). He would always email me (was email back then) when I was counting up heads for the new season about his desire to play and comeback. I did my best to encourage him – still wondering if he knew exactly who I was. I knew him, of course. I knew what he could be. But I didn’t think he cared about Jewball. Because his connection to us was so ancient and tenuous.

And then all of a sudden – like a resurrection – he was back.

He flipped a switch and decided to change his life. Trying to regain his old form. Like a miracle. But he was not back like he was the first time. Not a part timer. Not someone just using us to get ready for something else. But as a regular. A committed, observant and proud Jewballer. And it changed everything. It changed everything.
Gronk changed everything too. He joined us a few years before Singer reconnected. Also a guy that I couldn’t be sure his intentions. Were we a one night stand? Was he looking for a long term relationship? He was a kid. His brother was a former Jewballer who had actually ushered in the Dark Ages by starting Degel, which was in direct competition with us. His demeanor was sullen and aloof, but his talent was tantalizing. He seemed to get and appreciate what we were trying to build. I noticed that. It meant he had potential to stick. And stick he did. After a few seasons of good ball and great chat performances, he set Jewball on fire this year. His reluctant effort at QB embarrassed a trio of guys who take their craft very seriously. He won a lot and made it look easy. He was unstoppable. He walks away with a League Championship after a brilliant draft night and equally genius comprehension of the dynamics of offense and defense. He speaks volumes in the huddle with his eyes, smirk, and the same two words. It was one of the honors of my life to play for him and The Cronies. Gronk, I could go on. I really could – and maybe one day I will – but this is about Singer. You made it a hell of a decision, but Singer is the MVP of this Jewball Season.

Singer, you are the Jewball MVP and it has been a long time coming. You have been waiting in line and watching other people take what you believed was yours. That drive is why you are back. That drive is why you went from out of shape to first round draft pick and MVP. I don’t know why – I really don’t – because you came in with the MVP Mercenaries – but you always loved Jewball. You trusted in me before it was fashionable. You said you would be back enough times until it went from fantasy to promise to reality. There is a reason teams you are on consistently win. You do everything well, but with such humility. Now that I know you better – now that we are friends

– I understand why you “noticed” me way back when. Because you are celebrity to everyone around you except yourself. You see yourself as a soldier, but everyone sees you as a leader. You play with the fearlessness and effervescence of a child, but you know this is the business of men. You are an inspiration to every Jewballer. I am sure of it. On and off the field. Bro! You flew in for Vets Rooks and played your heart out!!! If that isn’t the embodiment of a Jewball MVP, then the award has no meaning. Singer, my Veteran brother (first true Vet to win it in many years), my friend, my inspiration to keep going and to fight the voices inside that say a decline is inevitable – to give in – it is my utmost privilege to name you our MVP for the 2021-22 Season.

Here is the part where I am I usually so emotionally fragile that I crumble and lose my shit as I attempt to type some final words about exercise and diet and seeing you in five months. But this is The Enlightenment. We no longer depart or take hiatuses or reconvene. We are caught in an eternal cyclone – and we spin around in it voluntarily. We participate actively in each other’s lives – and that’s not weird. It’s okay. It’s good.
Life is hard and confusing enough. It’s an often arbitrary bitch that picks on us for no apparent reason. It does not ALLOW us to take a break. So we cannot. Jewball cannot have breaks. We stand united 24/7/365 – for as long as we draw beath. Even as one season ends and we prepare for a new one. We will miss the football. But we will not miss Jewball. Because Jewball – in the age of Enlightenment – has become as real as life itself.

Pos	Club	W	L	T
1	Birds of Pray	6	0	0
2	Crocs	3	2	0
2	Dawgs	3	3	0
4	Cronies	2	3	1
5	Lionhearts	1	4	1

June 2024
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
« Mar
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
30

2020/21 SEASON INTRO AND WEEK 1 SIGNUP!!