The Renaissance (2008-2013)

SEASON 3

10/7/07

Of course if you wanted to – you could complain about week 1. You could complain about a certain No Show which had people who wanted to play locked out for no reason and one team needing to rotate (and the teams unfair and uneven). You could complain about the heat and the sun glare. You could complain about the rust and the lack of scoring. But lets look at the positive. After some bumps along the way, the game showed itself undeneath an ugly veneer and you could just barely see what kind of season we can look forward to. As our conditioning increases along with stamina, hand-eye coordination, and desire….the game will take off. Yoni will hit Stryker and Ike on crossing patterns with ease. B-sh will get his sack on (BD is in mid-season form on that front). Dorothy will win ten games or more. Joey and Yoni will become the unstoppable tandem from last year. Next week will be a step in that direction. Week 1 is not about skill football…its about coming back.

The game itself was mostly quiet. A zero zero affair until Dorothy replaced Rabin and hooked up with Sim along the left sideline for a catch and run. BD showed life from the start with a couple of sack lunches, but otherwise everyone was quiet. Later on Uri added another TD for Dorothy. Yoni and Ike made it a game late by putting one in the end zone but Yoni and company could not drive the field and tie the game up (and had a couple of chances to do it),

TOP PLAYS: Joey jumping grab over the middle. Dorothy to Jordan deep on 3rd and long. Sim TD catch. BD catch and everyone bouncing off him like negative magnetism.

JEWBALL goes to BD for bringing the intenisty early in the season. Honorable mention to Dorothy for throwing the first two TDs of the season. Points for Uri for needing to take care of some work in the NYC and going into the office before the game.

10/14/07

**Warning: This recap was designed for the unemployed. If you have a job, don’t bother starting it.

On a cool, dewy morning (…yes the double entendre was intended to include both the moist liquid of G-d, as well as the fowl fecal matter that blankets our field every Sunday morning) 12 valiant warriors graced the gridiron behind one of the elite pedagogical institutions that is the Woodmere Middle School. New faces and old joined together to fight for pride, power, victory and the ever-so elusive Jewball.

Rabin, Elk, Uri, BD, Edell and Ike lined up across Dorothy, Bash, S Klink, Simcha, Mezzi and the Yishi that is little (although now that he’s climbed out of the shadow of his big brother who is too big of a pansy to get on a football field, we can all call him by his real name…. if only I knew what it was.) The game was flag-once again, adding a jolt of testosterone to our morning- after all, that’s the only reason those of us that can’t pick up chicks risk our bodies to play this game every Sunday anyways. As for you married folk, I don’t understand you, but hey…. We need 12 to play.

Rabin came out throwing and Dorothy came out tip toeing all over the field on his little red shoes. After a fake handoff to yours truly the defense bit and Rabin unleashed a ball of fury down the field and in to the waiting arms of Uri: 1 to nil for the team that was better. After some more defense and some more tip toeing by those little red shoes the better team got the ball back again, and after an errant handoff attempt, nay…… 2 errant handoff attempts on one play (oops, my bad), Rabin, un-Rabinlikely keeps his composure and unleashes another doozy to his ostensibly favorite receiver Uri “the shorter and fatter HURT” Hurtis. Somewhere in this game Uri also managed to pick off 2 passes- I don’t remember either of them, but they were two of the most gorgeous interceptions that I’ve ever imagined while writing a recap.

But Dorothy wasn’t going to give in. All of the guys that wake up at 8 o’clock on a Sunday are valiant, and the pride of Kansas was no different. While his legs proved to be effective, but not effective enough, his arm connected on an out route to S Klink whose prayers this morning, coupled with a solid faith in our omnipotent master, gave him the strength, courage and speed to turn a short out-route into a long TD.

High off of his new found super-powers S Klink decided to give a shot at improving upon Dorothy’s luck at the helm of his talented “but less talented than the other team” team. Clearly a bad coaching decision because ensuing shortly thereafter was our Chevy Play of the Game. Edell makes his presence known by intercepting a ball at the line of scrimmage and taking three hard-fought steps into the end-zone. The losing team would answer with Simcha having an INT/TD of his own. I’ve always said that kid’s got mad skills, and as always- I was right.

To top off the game and put it in the record book, BD does the leg work taking a nice catch down the field and nearly comes away with the touchdown. Rabin then puts it all to bed by throwing a routine pass to a special place where only the receiver could catch it. If only there was a defender in the vicinity of the play a gorgeous catch by a unanimous and unbelievably humble receiver wouldn’t have been necessary. Final score: 4-2

Jewball goes to Uri who made big plays all day and came away with 2 TDs and 2 INTs. I don’t think this one will be as controversial as my Jewball assignment last year, so if any one has any complaints take it up with Uri for playing a darn good game. Honorable mentions for Rabin who did a good job at QB, and most notably to Bash, who once again introduced my posterior to the ground. This Recap has been self-censored for the benefit of Show Yo. You’re Welcome. Have a good week every one, I thought I didn’t have enough material, but I was wrong, sorry for subjecting you all to my awesome memories of what was an enjoyable game. Flag makes another case for its permanent institution into our Sundays.

Thank you,

Ikey Hersh

10/29/07

You know we’re at week 4 when Joey retires for the first time. You know its week 11 when he retires for the second time. Week 16 usually marks his FINAL retirement of the season (though he does graciously come back for the Vets v. Rookies game in week 19 to teach guys like Klink, Dorothy, Yehudah, BD, and Ike that even after three seasons of play, they still play like rookies).

Why is Joey allowed to retire so many times (and I swear to you he means it each time)? Its because he cannot tolerate mediocre play. From himself or anyone around him…mostly from himself. He cannot tolerate a losing record, or not being a legitamtate MVP candidate, or being in the hunt for TD leader? Does he take this desire to an unhealthy psychological level? Absolutely. But better that than making an excuse every time a ball is dropped, or giving up on a play.

Most of us have played together for at least three years…and after Sunday, we all should want to retire. Two one-sided shut outs! Two! Just when it felt like we were building toward some real competative play, half the league decided to take Sunday off. All of a sudden players lost their desire to win, catch, score, play defense.

If this were the NFL, it wouldn’t matter. A win is a win. But whether you come down Sunday for “fun” or to compete….what the hell does either side get out of an 8-0 and 4-0 win. I know what I got? Nothing. When you can’t cover your man, but they drop the ball anyway….there is no pride in that kind of win. When players are dropping balls in the endzone, its no fun to win that way. When open men can’t be found by their quarterbacks, even if one teams manages to score, everybody loses.

So as we approach the quarter mark of the season, I challenge everyone to step up their game. To keep yourself strong mentally for every minute, every set, every play. Don’t pull yourself from QB in a 2-0 game just because your recievers are having a tough day. 2-0! That is a comeback with your name on it and with Jewball potential! Don’t second guess yourself or your abilities. Half the game is mental.

If you don’t think you can play hard (HARD) for 90 minutes (and 180 minutes if you sign up for two) don’t come. If you can’t catch yet….learn how. It’s time for all of us to take it upon ourselves to make every routine play. Spectacular plays are for the all-stars, but routine catches everyone should make.

Although both games were embaressing this past week, they were played.

In game 1 jewball winner Yehudah had a monster day and threw 7 tds (which tells me no one wanted to play defense) Even Klink and FNL had 2 apeice. Ike picked up 1 of em, as did BD and Dorothy. .

Rabin’s team was disastrous. I wasn’t there…and I’m happy I wasn’t.

Game 2 was depressing enough. The early portion of the game was marked by a menagerie of drops (some legitimatley due to the sun and wind). Once Doggy found his style…he began to march his team down field and Uri, Jordan, and Shrag, put up points. Uri added another off a pick.

Yoni was off most of the day…and the few times he was on, his receivers were brain cramping. Not pretty.

MVP goes to Uri for being the only consistant player on the field yesterday both on O and D, though Doggy picked up his game late and kept his stats respectable.

TOP PLAYS – Uri whomp! of Klink in the endzone leading to a showtime pick. Joey big grab over the middle for 1st down in traffic. Doggy to Jordan on the button hook bullet to get the offense rolling. Shrag sack and BD celebrating like it was him who did it. Klink returns. Duke decides randomly in the middle of the game to get over the top angry.

let me know about week 5,

11/4/07

Ike wrote the following – the kid is not only lighting it up on the field every week….but his writing is phenomenal – enjoy:

After all the talk and all the hype; after B-sh got sick and tired of all of the Bull *** and defected to the dark side for the 9:30 game because he’s scared of getting hurt when I bring my thunder into the neutral zone; After Chips and Rabin raised the security alert level to “RED” at B&H Photo; and after Uri got over how much he hates the 8:00 game and how much he wishes he worked at Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen and Katz because 2^nd place just isn’t good enough- 10 dedicated, hard working and unpaid football players woke early and took the field behind Woodmere Middle School in a battle of will, guts, and good, clean, hard two hand touch.

Jordan (merely commissioning this one), in his omniscience, decided to put 2 Quarterbacks on one team and no QB’s on the other. This, of course did not bode well for the Klinkowitz family (and the ancillary members of the Klinkowitz family: Uri Klink, BD Klink and Friday Night Klink- who of course is not a full time Klink, he just joins the family once a week….. on Fridays….. at night). Here’s how the teams broke down:

Dorothy – QB S Klink – QB

Rabin Uri

Sim VS BD

Ike Klink

B-sh FNL

….and here’s how the game broke down:

Sochi touches the ball and gives it right to the Defense as Simcha hauls in an INT. Dorothy gets the short TD pass to Rabin for the first TD of the game. 1-0 Dark.

FNL took some snaps and after that proved futile the Hefty Lefty, and only Klink who never requires an initial put before his name, decided to give a shot at taking the helm. After hitting Dorothy in the numbers (wrong team) and then hitting BD in the numbers (Wrong team again…I think it was BD, but I’m not sure- if you are the talentless hack with the butterfingers that let one get away, feel free to speak up and let BD off the hook). Finally, Klink was able to hit a man that could actually catch the ball……Rabin (again wrong team). Immediately thereafter, Dorothy threw a beautiful over-the-shoulder pass to Rabin for another TD who decided to bring his “A” game out for his birthday because, after all, the best birthday presents are the ones you give yourself (which is why I will be changing in $100 in singles and treating myself to a lovely evening in the city tomorrow night). 2-0 Dark.

Seeing that nobody else could fill his shoes Sochi takes the ball back and immediately throws an interception to Ike which he returned for a TD. 3-0 Dark and the game is starting to get stupid and Uri is starting to regret getting up in the morning (he didn’t say anything, I can just see it in his face- the man doesn’t like to lose)

After we got the ball back on another INT we decided that Dorothy would finish the offensive set and then switch teams. So he just throws an interception and jumps across the line in a mid-game trade for S. Klink. Dorothy had an immediate impact as the Whites started to move the ball down field without giving the ball back to the Defense. But as White got down to the line the Defense got tight and Dark held ground and got the ball back. For some reason, S. Klink QB’d for us and threw an INT to Klink who took in for a TD. Then Dorothy hit BD for a TD and Ike answers with a TD of his own. Dorothy ran in a TD and then Ike ended the game on an INT. Dark wins 4-3.

Top Plays: BD Sack Lunch; Dorothy gets his hands up and bats a ball away in the end zone; Uri makes a catch, falls down, gets up, shakes, bakes and gets the 1^st down; BD on a long play that resulted in the big man shaking that booty “to the left Y’all, to the left” and then “To the right Y’all, to the right” and taking it to the 2.

I didn’t want to have to do this, but I’m giving myself jewball- 2 TD’s 4 INT’s, the lions share of the receptions and first downs, and a solid defensive effort. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 12 or 13 TD’s and 10 INT’s on the season- it’s time for a frickin jewball.

Game 2

Yoni showed an uncanny resemblance to his buddy Chad Pennington by stepping down at QB last week and then not even starting this week.

Teams were Dog, Ike, Seattle, CHiPS, Elk, Israeli 1, Viv and Dorothy

Rabin, Uri, Yoni, Simcha, Klink, Israel 2, Yakir and BD,

We actually suited up with the flags for this one, and after some solid D-, Yakir punched it in to the end zone to give Rabin a 1-0 lead.

Klink dropped a pass.

Then Dog answered with a TD of his own as he ran it into the endzone that Chips watered before the game.

Yakir, already with a TD makes a great play to hold us from a first down as he completely violates Ike and gets a knee in to crush Ike’s ribs and knock the ball out of his hands.

On the next drive Klink drops a pass.

With the score tied 1-1 Seattle makes a huge play and takes the ball down the field evading tacklers and ignoring the guy who told him he was down when he didn’t have the flag. Dog would go to Ike on the next 2 plays the second of which resulted in a TD.

Klink Dropped another pass.

But despite Klink’s drops Yakir would beat out Ike and stay with a tipped ball to tie the game up. Rabin would finally end the game on the final drive by isolating Yoni and exploiting a mismatch all the way down the field to result in the victory. Happy Birthday Rabin- Congrats on the win!

Top plays: BD tipping the ball to himself and taking it down the field. BD is dropping some easy ones but he’s proven he’s got hands with some spectacular catches; Seattle with a big defensive play on a perfectly thrown ball to Uri; Chips gets a sack lunch; Ike catches a floater with his left hand on tough coverage by Yakir; Klink actually making a catch; BD stuffing the ball in Dog’s face in the end zone; Play of the game is Dog running around the back field and then unleashing a 40 yard strike across his body to Viv.

I was hoping the game would end in a tie so that I wouldn’t have to give a jewball for this one. Rabin had a pretty good game and Yakir stepped it up a notch with 2 TDs and a tough defensive game in which he absolutely kicked the crap out of me. In the end I’m going with Rabin on this one, he moved the ball down the field pretty well and threw for 3 Touchdowns. Bask in the glory baby, the winner of a trash talk battle is the man who actually lives up to his talk on the field and you backed it up this Sunday. Now stop hitting “Reply All” and go save a life.

Peace,

Ike

Here is a personal battle between Ike and CHiPs for your reading pleasure (if you are sensitive to these things…just don’t read it) –

Ike says:

CHIPS: DO ONE’S TENDENCIES REFLECT ONE’S SOCIAL AFFILIATIONS?

Well, while the big news last week was Joey’s retirement, and we all wish him the best as he Clemensly contemplates his return, the headline this week has to be the gayness of Chips. From making an appearance in a homo magazine, to homo-ly nearly backing out of the game again this morning, to being a homo and trying to get a bunch of grown men to sing Happy Birthday to a neurotic looser who doesn’t even celebrate his birthday, to acting like a homo and “getting it on” with Rabin (see Rabin smack talk 11/3/07, 12:15 A.M.) and getting called gay 3 times in 4 lines of an e-mail by the person he was getting it on with- Chips, clearly feeling threatened by Rabin’s malevolent assault on his masculinity, and sensing the aroma of queerness oozing from his Gucci Chargers Jersey, decided to bring a girl (who apparently goes by the name “Ponch”) onto the sanctuary that is my football field- BLASPHEMY! As if it wasn’t bad enough that he pissed on the North End Zone before the game- find a bush and do your business CHiPS- keep it off the field.

CHiPs says:

It was a dark , cold morning which found itself creeping upon the northeastern United states like the feeling you get right before you die. Everyone awakened to an extra hour of sleep to join in a ghastly existence that is called life. I am of course talking about the day Ikey was brought forth upon this earth, not this weeks past game. The human race has never seen a more pathetic useless life since god created mongoloids. Ever since he came crying out of his mothers crevice society has had to listen to a paltry list of excuses of why life sucks. From his trite jokes to his incapacity to speak to someone with a ( insert word for female reproductive organ, I don?t want to offend anyone) . This past week we saw Ikey turn 25 years old and the only word that comes to mind of this so called life is pitiable. Even the way he screams on the football field can only be described as a squeal for dominance. His lack of brute of size has to be made up with loud screeching complaints at everything he can possibly complain about.

I have yet to meet a 25 year old that runs home from playing football to take a bath ( in a tub that could be used as some sort of nuclear power with the fungus that lives there). I am all for the bath, when i was 5… might be a little bit of that gayness rubbing off of Chips. As a side point I would stay away from contact with Ikey due to possibility of contracting a disease that has not seen the light of day in a thousand years. I would warn all females but we all know we dont have to worry about that. Its not all bad , I have the added pleasure of coming home at night to hear such lines as ? i hate my life?, ? I am uselss?, I need to get a girl ? , ? I need a date? , ?I have a small ( insert word for male reproductive organ, i do not want to offend anyone). ? I think HItler and Mussolini themselves would commit suicide after spending a few minutes with a person like Ikey. I even think I noticed his balls pack up their bags and walk out of the apartment, I overheard one say ? I cant take anymore… he keeps rubbing us and hitting us with his fist.? I must say i have not seen such a pissed off pair of balls. Pathetic, Inadequate , deplorable are all good adjectives to use when describing Ikey but we all love his dissenting description of life… hell he is probably right. Well this is not so much of a recap as a response to Ikeys uncalled for attack on Chips… Chips must respond

UNOFFICIAL GAME RECAP

Disclaimer: the following recap has is completely fictional and all names and events portrayed that relate to something true and accurate is completely coincidental.

As the sun come up at 5:30 am sunday morning due to a changing of the clocks a brave few awakened to tie their cleats and make the trek to the gridiron for the 8 am game. Chips was still lying in bed dreaming of what would be a monster of a game and a confrontation with his nemesis The Doc. Chips could not make the early game due to beauty sleep that he must incur to keep up with his dashing good looks. However chips awakened to the footsteps of Dorothy and Ike leaving to make that early morning competition. Being a competitive individual nothing could stop Ike from getting up early to show his amazing football skills. Chips had no clue what the score was in the early game when he arrived at 9:30 to make his yearly appearance only that some guy named ? friday night lights ? or ? texas? was on the ground doing stretches that only a true longhorn knows how to and yoni wearing a crisp new classic dolphin Chambers jersey, poor guy must have ordered it before the trade . As the late game kicked off with a nice showing of players nothing could prepare chips for what would be a day of pain and agony. As the game played on we saw BD being nothing more than a wall he is and Ikey being nothing more than a toy for Yakir to play with. Every play when everyone walked back to line we saw ikey on the floor. I dont know what he was doing but i guess his desperation with woman led him to fall for the mother earth. I have heard of a group of people that love the earth so much they go to central park once a week, drill a hole in the ground and proceed to love the earth with all their man hood. I am not sure if ikey is one of these people but it sure looked like it. On one play Yakir man handled ikey to the ground and chips fell over him only to find that he bruised his face and broke another finger. The pain and agony of breaking a finger saw no sympathy from the players especially ikey who was complaining at Yakir for giving him a dead leg off the line. Although I do not agree with cheap plays but the shear coordination needed to administer a dead leg to a moving target is amazing and should be cheered. Only stats i know is a spin move sack by chips following a blown coverage by ikey TD to yakir.

Other than that… I have no clue what happened and I think Dogs team lost 3-2

…Sorry Ike… I had to respond…Happy Birthday… dont jump off a bridge…

This is was all done as a joke i hope no one is offended.

LEAGUE LEADERS (Through 5)

Note: At season’s end we will calculate awards based on a percentage. For example, if you play in 30 games and score 30 TDs, someone who played in 20 games but has 29 TDs has a better percentage. A minimum of 13 games need be played by week 20 for award consideration.

MVP – Uri with 2

QBs (% of TDs thrown per games at the position) (Must throw in 10 games for consideration)

Yehudah – 350% (basically had one off the hook game where he threw 7 so this number is a bit inflated…but more power to him)

Doggy – 200%

Dorothy – 180%

Rabin – 150%

Yoni – 125%

SCORING (TOP 5 – minimum 3 TDs) (% of scores per games played)

Jordan – 130%

Ike – 125% – (Ike is behind me in terms of percentage but it must be noted that he has a ridculous 10 scores in 8 games)

S Klink – 100%

Uri – 75%

Klink – 75%

Rabin – 50%

Pick Leader – Uri – 7

Sack Leader – BD – 8

Let me know about next week,

Oct 20, 2008

WEEK 2 – RECAP/ WEEK 3 SIGN UP

I know some of you tasted it last week, but there is nothing like that first loss, or first drop of the season to slam you back down to earth. Game 1 swells with such high expectations and if you make your catches and win the game, you really, truly think it’s gonna be that kind of year. No drops. No losses. No regrets. Then comes Game 2.

The signs were there early for the Yellow team when on the opening play Jordan catches a slant, and with daylight opening up ahead, he spontaneously fumbles for no apparent reason. That really set the tone for Yellow who failed to convert opportunities throughout the Game. The Blue team was basically an All Star squad and bottom line is, you can’t let Doggy, B-sh, Seattle, BD, Ike, Dorothy, and Yehudah stick around. It’s just not gonna work out. Yoni’s team took an early lead on a strong scoring drive capped off with Evan’s TD catch, but Doggy answered right back using long yardage plays to Seattle and a strike to Yehudah to tie things up 1-1. Yellow went on to make it 2-1 with a Yakir turn-back-the-clock 20 yard reception and 40 yard run. Again, Doggy answered with a big drive involving mostly Seattle and finally punching it in to Ike on a cross after a tough goal line stand and some spectacular efforts by Uri. On the ensuing play, Yoni hit Uri deep on the right post and Uri took it to the house. With Yoni up 3-2 and about 30 minutes left, Yehudah took over as QB for the Blue Team. I know Seattle scored one, maybe Dorothy scored the other, but the bottom line is, Yellow completely stalled in those last 30 minutes and Yehudah rallied his team to a 4-3 victory. Yoni threw two late picks, one to Dorothy, one to Yehudah and some nice plays along the way for Yellow were wiped out. Overall it was a very tough contest and Yellow simply needed to be more perfect on both offense and defense to win this one, and they struggled at times. I hope the win was as satisfying for Blue as it was devastating for Yellow.

MVP should have gone to Uri if Yellow had closed this one out for clutch catches, a TD, and some great goal line defense (and vigorous arguing!). As someone said to me after the game, Uir can flat out play this game. My message to anyone who argues plays is, your skills are more than apparent to everyone, don’t worry so much about the result. Obviosuly worry somewhat about the result, but since the actual wins or losses don’t “matter”, better to just get back in the game. Because Blue won and it was an all around team effort, its difficult to choose an MVP. The obvious choise though is Seattle for the TD and it was really him that allowed Blue to move the ball downfield. Probably had 80% of their receptions. He also took off his own shirt while running for the endzone. Yakir and I had nothing to do with that.

Next week we are shooting for 2 games. Not that this will encourage anyone to come down early, but I’m going to be playing more 8:00 games this year as I have been told it is easier on my family. It will also be a way to score more TDs and pad those stats.

Let me know,

J

Oct 24, 2008

Kind of hectic this week with a bunch of regulars signing up late, and with 20 people signed up, I had to make some tough cuts.

The early game though is set and there are still more spaces:

8:00

BLUE

Rabin – QB
Jordan
Edell
Jesus
B-sh
Dorothy’s + 1 (Yoni)

YELLOW

Dorothy – QB
Moshe
Klink
Uri
Stawis
BD – If you don’t have ’em, please get flags and ball from Ike.

9:45

BLUE

Yoni – QB
Mayhem
Seattle
Shrag
Stawis
Klink
Adam

YELLOW

Dorothy – QB
Evan
Ike
B-sh
Uri
Dorothy +1 (Yoni)
BD

I know Moshe, Naftali, and Ari are looking for spots and – as usual – if anyone wants to volunteer to play set line both ways they are welcome to come down as long as the teams remain even. Let me know ASAP if you can’t make it so I can get someone to replace you.

On a final, very sad and depressing note (for me and those of my Jewball generation in particular) Yakir “Kicking Kenny the Washing Machine” Wachstock has called it a career. After breaking his finger for the second year in a row (this time, while exposing Seattle’s manly chest) he has decided that Jewball takes just too much of a hit on him physically, combined with family and work obligations. Yakir has been there truly since day 1 right along with me. Before even Joey and Doggy. When we got to the game in Flushing Meadows, Rabin and B-sh were already there, but I came down with Yakir (among others, including Jay Sky K, Jeremy Fine, etc.) In the same two week span I have to hear Ike tell me he is too old to play a double-header and Yakir retires. Like bullets in my heart. The ray of sunshine is that Yakir – who was probably the last of the guys still driving in from Queens (no, Far Rockaway is not Queens – sorry) – said he would play certain games if we designated two hand touch. I of course would be willing to play that way a few times a season just to get the old warrior (and 2005 TD leaders) back on the field whenever possible. It truly won’t be the same without his presence. He was quite and surprisingly fast, but I think he will be remembered in the Jewball legends as a player 100% committed to showing up, gave everything on every play, and knew the rules of the game and could ALWAYS be relied upon for a fair and honest judgment of any situation. I’m talking like he is dead, which of course he is not, so hopefully he’ll change his mind and come down real soon (and he’ll bring Joey).

See you guys on the field,

J

Oct 27, 2008

Yes, the rumors are true, I did wear a bathing suit to Game 1. After the heavy rain on Saturday I expected puddles on Sunday and -trying to be smart – I knew that everyone who played in sweats would be walking around in soggy clothes throughout the game. But no – a miracle had occured. Even at 8:00 the sun was shining, the temp was low, and the field was soft but dry. Maybe the 8:00 game is not as crowded or competative, but if it’s a nice day, there is something disarming about being on the field at 8:00. It’s calm and quiet. Even the weekend warriors are still in bed. Only the truest of diehards leave home before 8:00. I’d really like this 8:00 Game to get stronger so if you are reading this and thinking “I don’t want to play at 8:00 because it’s not the real game.” Well, who says that? It’s as real as we want to make it. Just be there on time – that’s a good start.

Can’t recap the late game because I don’t know a single thing that happened in it. Did not get a score or highlights from anyone…so feel free to enlighten.

In Game 1, Rabin came off the DL 3 weeks earlier than expected and…he probably should have stayed on. His injury was not apparent in his ability to move, but the same old Rabin problems plagued him. His semi-effective short game gives him confidence which leads to an invetible long play that either won’t happen or will get picked. His skills are too specific (short passes) that with our field – one first down at the 50 YL – if he throws a single incompletion, the set is lost. Rabin, I’d hit the gym and get that arm strength up. Without a long ball, you will have a tough time in Jewball.

Dorothy gets his 2nd victory at QB with a sterling effort. He throws for 4 TDs and scores one off a pick. Uri (2 scores) and new guys Mo and Stawis proved more than able recievers. BD keeps the pressure on Rabin and off Dorothy at the line and in a game of touch (are you listening, Yakir?) Dorothy spanks Rabin’s squad 5-0. While Dorothy and his team were up tempo and aggresive, Rabin lead a lethargic and outplayed bunch (with the exception of B-sh who recorded a couple of scklnches). Maybe it’s a function of being the early game – and this is not a good thing – but I have never had a better time getting embaressed on a football field. I think the difference is, at the 9:45 you feel like everyone is watching (like its nationally televised), at 8:00 it’s like no one saw it happen. Anway, I’ll give the MVP to Uri despite the Dorothy W because he became a reciever again after a long time of just being a superior Safety.

TOP PLAYS: Edell diving catch getting the leather under the ball (the guy plays football in motorcycle gloves…but he is Canadian, so…) Uri faking the %$#@ out of me and diving for a TD catch where Dorothy must have thrown the ball to spot, Rabin to Jordan for the team’s only 1st down of the game!, Klink versus Jesus and Klink’s ankle pops – of course followed by Klink agonizing on the grass, Rabin tightening his shoe with Klink begging him to stop and everyone else mocking both Klink and Rabin as if tearing a ligament (or whatever) is reason for levity. On that note, re’fuah. shelaimah to Klink – he is vital to the games and we need to see him back out there asap.

Let me know about Week 4,

J

Oct 30, 2008

I think I talked up the 8:00 too much. In an unprecedented turn of events, we have, as of right now, more players signed up for Game 1 than Game 2.

Right now for early, I got: Rabin, Jesus, CHiPs, Moshe, Gabby, Elk, Dorothy, B-sh, Yehudah, and Sledge

Late: BD, Naftali, Mayhem, Rabin, Ike, Gabby, Dorothy, B-sh, Adam, Shrag.

I’m in, but undecided. I’ll see which game shakes out to better/needs an extra.

Still waiting on certain regulars: Seattle, Yoni, Doggy, Uri, Evan….

WEBSITE NEWS – Sledge has been working on a website for us, which hopefully will become our primary sign up/update/recap/blog/stat/video/photo resourse for all things Jewball, past present and future. It should be great and we will work on it to make it something that is easy to use and represents the rich and proud history of Jewball. Everyone should be able to contribute to make it better. Right now it is not ready, but you can watch our video there. Because of most of the names we wanted being taken, we are tentatively at jewballz.com. Pay a visit and Sledge says we should be up an running with more features by next week.

Still looking for a few more for Sunday – especially lfor 9:45.

Let me know,

J

11/3/08

Our website will be ready some time this week and we’ll all be signing up, posting our stats, recapping, trash-talking, and whatever else we can figure out on the site from here on out – so this should be the last email of its kind. Instructions to follow later in the week.

I missed Game 1, but I know it was good because when I got to the field, Jesus was on the sideline and he told me that he had already vomited. He also said that Rabin’s team was down 5-4 and driving. I actually watched the drive. Rabin moved the ball all the way down field from the other team’s 10, but the comeback stalled on about the 15 and the day was lost for Rabin. But he still had game 2 to play – could he redeem himself? But first, a quick, neutral, anonymous recap of Game 1.

Rabin takes an early 2-0 lead against yehuda w/a TD from newcomer Gabbi to Rabin and one to uri. then they scored 4 in a row w/dorothy doing most of the damage and yehuda qbing. iRabin over at qb for his team and scored 2 in a row to tie it. then yehudah ran 90 yards for a td. You know what happened next.

I wrote to my team yesterday that, although we (Blue) lost Game 2, it was the second most satisfying loss in my Jewball career. You’ll know why when I tell you the teams. After a strange and mysterious realignment of who showed up between Friday and and Sunday, a 5 on 5 with names such as Yoni and Gabby became for a short while a 7 on 7 and eventually a 6 on 6 with an official. But after Gabby needed to walk off a Game 1 injury and Yoni jammed a finger davening on shabbos (shtender injury), we played a hard hitting, contentious 6 on 6.

The teams were picked the old fashioned way, with Rabin and Dorothy choosing up. Of course there was mass confusion between the two and somehow Rabin ended up with seven players and Dorothy with five. Even sadder was that Rabin kept saying that we should trade a player with them as if that would somehow make it 6 on 6. Eventually we gave away the team’s top pick, Uri to even the numbers. I would right here like to publicly apologize to current league MVP Dorothy for making light of his past. Not only has Dorothy turned the corner as player this season (you should see this guy take a hit from BD and pop right up and continue to win games without a word) and not only is he a sincere and good person, he happens not to smoke anymore so I don’t why I said it. I felt bad afterward because Dorothy is just too nice a guy to trash. The rest of you I don’t feel bad about.

So with the teams (after Gabby leaving) set at Yellow: Dorothy, Uri, Ike, Mayhem, Oren, and Shrag against Blue: Rabin, Jordan, BD, Naftali, B-sh, and Rabin’s bro, Etan, the game began.

I don’t recall everything but I know it went back and forth for a while. Rabin’s arm was actually in decent form but it took a while for his brother to get up to speed. A blown coverage led to a quick Shrag TD (or Uri, who I shortchange weekly). BD had a massive day, stepping into the role of money receiver and scored following an incredible perfectly thrown 40 yarder. Rabin’s pass play calling was good and working (strange that we went away from it for wied running, reverse plays). The reason, probably was that on a 3rd and 20 by the endzone, Rabin handed off to Jordan who rolled right with BD and tossed up a prayer that BD pulled down over Uri and gave Blue a lead. Dorothy answered back and threw 2 TDs in a row (one where Ike beat me on a fourth and long right in front of the endzone.) Rabin and Jordan hooked up twice for a drive and it was capped off by an all Rahmani TD. With game tied Dorothy kept his poise and closed out the game (final TD was to Ike, don’t recall the 4th). Either way, everyone out there knows that yesterday was one of our more intense competitive games we’ve had, certainly the best of the season. See, the beauty of football is that you never know what it’s gonna be like come game time. Could just as easily be a lackadaisical laugher as an intense epic. Congrats to everyone involved. It was fun, but it wasn’t “just for fun.”

I wish we won so I could give the MVP to BD who was a marvel yesterday. Really. He had a tough defensive assignment all day and was NEVER exposed (as I was by Ike a few times) and he also played his best receiving game that I’d ever seen him in. But the losers can’t get an MVP no matter how valiant the effort. Dorothy is an easy pick because he threw the passes that won the game, but I’ll go with Ike. I tried my best to cover him, but he busts it on every set (with cheeks apuffing) and he scored the two big scores of the day, the tie breaker and the game clincher.

For now, sign up like usual by responding to this email, early, late, or both.

11/10/08

Yehudah picks up a very well deserved MVP for being a fierce triple threat. TOP Plays were anything he did. Rabin’s team lost because of the picks but also because of some missed opportunities and dropped balls. So be it.

With Week 5 done, that is apporximately a quarter of our season. It’s flying by so if you think there is plenty of time left to jump in, you’re right, but not as much time as you think. Before you know it, pitchers and catchers will be reporting.

Your assignment for today is to log onto: http://www.jewballleague.com/login.asp and get your Jewball webpage going. PLEASE WAIT FOR AN OFFICIAL EMAIL FROM SLEDGE TO SAY WE ARE OKAY TO GO. HE WILL RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL TO THE GROUP TO GIVE THE THUMBS UP. You will also sign up for Week 6 on the website. The sign up page will be active every Monday morning throughout the season until Thursday at noon. After that, for all changes, email me directly. Otherwise, do not sign up with me. Sledge has assured me that website will allow us to blog, post our pictures and stats etc. shortly. For now, it will just allow us to sign up. My hope is that he can get the site done very soon, but apparently these things take a while. I have to assume it will be fully operational within the next few weeks.

Let me or jfeldhamer@gmail.com know if you are having any problems with the site.

11/13/08

Sledge is furiously wokring on the website (www.jewballleague.com) so that the teams can be posted there tomorrow. Hopefully next week we’ll have some sort of homepage where those who have become members can comment on the past, present, and future of Jewball. should be interesting. For now, I have seen our sign up results, but not any names. So I see we have 25 members and 20 people signed up for Sunday. 12 in the early and 14 in the late. Sounds perfect. As soon as I get the names I’ll make the teams for him to post. (If you have not yet signed up as a member, do it – we have 50 people on this email list and only half as members. The website is our future (and my way of doing much less work) so jump in. Make it part of your pre-game schedule each week to check the website for the teams. As usual, any last minute changes can still be made to me through email.

lett go Jets,

Nov 14, 2008

Go on our site and Log in to check the teams. For game 2, Seattle is out with a blown knee so the teams are even. We’ll give them L’il Yish to even things up a bit because I know Seattle is a big time reciever. Nice to see that we have 28 members. Still 20 of you out there who need to sign up. I promise you, these emails will be stopping as soon as we get the hang of this so if you are not a member you won’t know what’s up. Slegde is doing a great job wih the site and he says (and I believe based on what I have seen him do) that it will be really cool. I want to thank him for his hard work. He and I were on the phone after midnight last night as he was working out the code for team sign ups. This guy has a vision.

See you on the field,

J

1/1/09

Here’s a quick recap on today’s 2009 Bowl because it was such a bummer the way we lost.

Everyone knows how cold it was this morning so respect to all those who braved the threat of frost bite in the name of Jewball. Honorable mention to Moshe for showing up despite his wife being at home with contractions. B-sh came in shorts with a hangover so any pain he was feeling was his own fault. I guess Uri gets one too for showing up and trying his best to play through a bad knee injury. We wish the consumate warrior the best in his recovery.

So Doggy was doing much better than any other QB out there considering the wind and temp and his passes were crisp. With a deep ball to Jordan Blue went up 1. Yehudah’s legs were nullified by BD’s boy dropping out last minute and the fact that we had no safety so no QB running. Without the ability to run and the tough passing conditions, he was kind of ineffective…so Adrock takes over and proves himself a smart and able QB. Soon finds Uri in the endzone to tie things up. Blue goes up again on a trick play with Rabin throwing from a toss back and Jordan catches another one for a 2-1 lead. With fifteen minutes left Yellow is facing a 4th and 49. In a questionable call, Adrock – insane as he is – chooses to go for it. A short pass to Jesus looked like a bad idea and the game would be in Blue’s hands. But no, Jesus plows down the sideline and gets by Doggy and Jordan to score. After Doggy goes three and out, Yellow gets the ball back one last time and scores (Ad to Yehudah) and then holds Blue in the final possesion. Game Over. I’ll give Ad the Jewball for the heart which assured his team the win. I’ll give myself a Klan for giving up each of Yellow’s 3 scores.

Now the worse news – We only have 5 signed up for Sunday. Anyone want to sign up so Week 13 can happen? 8 games left. They won’t come back. Let me know,

1/7/09

Jewballers,

Week 12 got cut down by weather, Week 13 had only 6 signed up (I assume due to the Thursday 2009 Bowl), now Week 14 is upon us and we have a rag tag group of 7 signed up (3 for the early). I know Oren, B-sh, and Uri are banged up. I know Moshe is with child (and he still came out and signed up for every game – including Week 13)….but the rest of you bums!? Have you not been watching the NFL playoffs. Have you forgotten what a precious thing it is to wake up on a Sunday morning and have a game of football to play (win or lose). Think about the Colts, Falcons, Dolphins, and Vikings? What it would mean to them to play just one more game? And you – you who have the choice, the health, the physical ability to play the greatest game ever invented – chooses – chooses instead out of shear lack of will power to do nothing! To let your body and spirit grow old and weary as the Sundays of your football career fade from existence and all that will be left are cloudy memories that you “once played.” Pathetic.

Joey, Yakir (yes, I said it, Yakir) Dorothy, Seattle, Ike, Yoni, Doggy, Sig, Edell, Ari, Elk, Labe, Sledge, Stawis, Winick and the lot of you phonies who gave me your names at season’s start but have yet to be the regulars you swore you’d be. It’s gonna be 29 degrees and sunny come Sunday. You wanna stay in doors with the family. Keep warm? Don’t you know that one day G-d willing you will be 40, then 50, then 60 and so on? Plenty of time to stay warm indoors in the winter. You are only young enough to play this game once. Do not let a single Sunday pass you by. They do not come back.

2/17/09

We just picked up BD and B-sh and Dorothy if he recovers in health by Sunday. That gives us 15 players which is plenty.

If anyone would still like to participate and/or witness the event (the second in Jewball history – we are 0-1 in Challenge games as we lost to a Riverdale team about 6 years ago), we could use some refs. We don’t need them, but it would be a nice touch to avoid controversy.

So let’s begin talking strategy:

8 men means on Offense we will have a QB, 2 Line plus a TE and 4 going out. I am now going to list the players and how I envision them being used on both sides of the ball:

Yoni – O/QB – D/off

Jordan – O/WR – D/Man coverage

Evan – Same

Yehudah – Same

Klink – Same

Sig – Same

Uri – O/WR – D/Safety

Rabin – O/WR/TE – D/off

Moshe – Same

Dorothy – Same

Shrag – O/RB – D/TE coverage

O – O/TE – D/Line

BD – same

B-sh – O/Line – D/Line

Mayhem – same

So, as I see it, B-sh, Mayhem, and Uri are the only players who will be in every set the whole game (if they don’t mind). Everyone else will need to rotate as needed. Jordan, Sig, Klink, Yehudah, and Evan will cover their receivers with one player rotating out each defensive set (meaning you play 4 sets and then sit one). Oren and BD will rotate each defensive set to cover the TE and blitz when Uri calls for it. If we are not getting enough sacks, I might put Oren in at permanent D line because he has shown an ability to pull flags and stuff things up at the line.

On offense we have a mess of players looking to get in so everyone is going to have to be aware of their offensive and defensive rotations. What I will probably do on offense is have 2 units to start with and those units will rotate every offensive set. If I see we are getting killed on offense or the game is coming down to the wire, I will have an emergency offensive unit that will consist of the top players so that we don’t have to lose the game in the name of being fair. Just remember, please, this is us playing an opponent so if you don’t have the stomach for that sort of thing, opt out. For example, if you drop two passes in a row or something like that or get burned too often on defense, you will probably not play the rest of the game. It’s not personal, it’s football. We’re gonna approach this game like it matters.

Potential offensive units

Yoni

B-sh

Mayhem

Oren

Rabin

Jordan

Uri

Klink

Yoni

B-sh

Mayhem

Yehudah

Sig

Moshe

Evan

Not quite sure how to use Shrag as the RB, whether that be Yoni’s call from the huddle on individual plays….need to think about this. please let me know any ideas. If Dorothy gets better, then we really need to figure something out.

what would be even better is if someone volunteered to coach this thing so that would be their headached. Any toughminded individuals out there willng to take on that heavy responsibility?

2/23/09

First off, a well deserved thank you to Evan for making the game happen yesterday. It injected a ton of life into a dying season and although we probably could have executed it better, it was thrilling, exciting, interesting – the perfect mix of fun, anxiety, and challenge that we look for in sports. With some mild temps but a nice clean rain coming down and the grey/black clouds overhead, the stage was set.

The Chabad team, upon arrival, were a daunting looking bunch. There were two six foot something giants – one crazy eyed and cursing, the other friendly and sweet ( i would later rip off his tzi-tzis while going for the flag – at which point a member of his team commented, “at least we are wearing tzi-tzis”…ouch!). There was some muscle bound dude wearing a skin tight shirt (naturally, he was Dorothy’s cousin) and a leather football helmet. There was a dude in a blue ski cap and yellow racing stripes who looked like he could be a Jewballer. Then there was an array of typical friendly looking bearded guys who seemed quite skilled. Basically, they appeared young, in shape and athletic, and, to be honest, I was skeptical at the start. They had all the elements of a formidable adversary. A maniac in the middle who honestly had the face of a serial killer. A QB who could throw darts and miles distant….with decent accuracy. And they had plenty of speed.

We taught them our rules on the fly which certainly should have been handled earlier. That would have saved a lot of time. I think the biggest problem with yesterday is that the game never got into a rhythm. It felt like it was always confused, with stops and start and long huddles and calling plays back because the rules weren’t clear. That kind of ruins a game.

But the game did start and Chabad had the ball first. Enormous QB took the ball and began his drive with two complete passes and gaining a first down near the 50. On the next play Jordan nearly picked off a ball for the first incompletion of the game, but after that Jewball locked it down a bit and brought more pressure and Chabad gave up the ball.

Yoni took over with the first offensive unit and on the sidelines both jewballers and Chabdniks were watching, cheering and yelling. Jesus was on the sidelines with a red umbrella taking it all in as the lone fan. The offense struggled a bit, perhaps with Yoni feeling some of the nerves of competative play. His passes were not a sharp as they usually are. It took some time for him to get going. Luckily Chabad had offensive troubles of their own. Yehudah played the difficult role of covering big crazy and managed to keep him quiet. Chabad was making their yards on short screens and look away dumps, hoping for gains off a missed flag or runs off blocking, but when it came to the big pass, they proved not to be the most able receivers. Many balls were either just out of their reach or simply dropped, including some sure TDs. On a 4th and short at the 46, Sig made a terrific flag pull to stop Big Crazy and return possesion to Jewball. As is many times the case, great defense leads to inspiring offense and Yoni plants one in Sig’s chest for a TD on our next drive. Jebwall leads 1-0.

Throughout the game there began some rumblings about the rules. Big Crazy especially was indignant about some of our calls – specifically, that the QB can’t rush unless linemen pursue, the down by contact rule, whether Evan can wear yellow flags and a yellow jersey. Their QB was distressed by Yoni taking the ball as deep behind center as he chose. They were pretty tough on Yoni, commenting harshly on his Marino jersey (as one of their linemen was a Miami native). I think this fired Yoni up some more even though he always keeps his composure. After another Jewball defensive stand Yoni took the ball and hit Shrag deep down the right sideline. Shrag went nearly all the way before being coralled out of bounds. Two plays later, Yoni hit a darting Klink on the right of the endzone and Jewball took a commanding 2-0 lead…or so it seemed.

Here is where the game kind of slowed down. All the original assignments and units were kind of breaking down and people were running on and off the field based on whatever criteria they came up with. This is no excuse for what happened next. Chabad scored. I don’t remember exactly how or why I think it was a mid-range pass from about the fifteen to a random bearded guy – the tall one but not as tall as Big Crazy. Not sure how the drive happened although I’m pretty sure I was watching it from the sideline. But you still feel confident being up 2-1 and with Yoni exposing the weaknesses in their defense…and we really should have exposed them more. Which brings us to the problem. Our receivers were good. We hardly dropped a thing. I don’t know if it was the pressure or something else, but Yoni did not have his 1A game yesterday. Passes were a bit long or a bit behind. He is not the reason we lost by any means, but we probably could have been up a bit more and really just put them in our dust if he was his typical perfectionist.

Right after they score their first, Yoni, throwing from our 2, tries to find a Jewballer over the middle and the ball is deposited right into the homicidal arms of Big Crazy….and he marches is to end zone to deflate the Jewball sideline and knot things back up.

The game remained tied for a short while but the clock was winding down and then came the other issue of the day…when would the game end? To have a real winner you need a clock…otherwise everyone will just play unitl their desired end comes about…especially with a game this close.

Over the next few minutes nothing really positive happens for either team. No one seems to be able to make the big play to ice this one. Yoni throws another pick. B-sh and Oren bring the heat to force the Chabad QB to step out of the back of the end-zone two plays in a row (Big Crazy didn’t like that call either). With about ten minutes left (if we are going by our regular 11:15 buzzer) Yehudah appeared to make that big play to turn everything around with a spectacular fearless pick midfield and Yoni hussles on to the muddy turf to lead the offense. He completes a long pass to Evan and everything seems to be favoring a Jewball victory. But the drive ends there, on the 25 as Yoni runs out of tricks and Chabad takes over.

Chabad takes the ball at 11:10 and begins a drive that eventually gets them to their 30. At 11:19 a pass is zipped into the arms of a receiver whom Yehudah was covering immaculately – just a phenomenal pass – and there goes the tie with no time on the clock. Chabad up 3-2.

Because Chabad had ball first, Yoni takes over for one final tie attempt (though it has been agreed that certain players, not including Yoni or myself, would stay on). On 3rd and long Yoni finds Dorothy at the 40 and Dorothy needed to sort of slide to get it so he was down on the catch. With ten yards to make up, Yoni elects to go to Uri on the right curl and Uri catches the ball at the 49, he turns, and is pushed out of bounds where he stands, his foot knocking over the cone as he tumbles out of bounds. Chabad wins a good game that could have been better if run better – my fault there. It was an experiment and I think it worked. I know there is interest from their side to do it again. Even for this coming week. So we need to talk about that.

Also want to get Vets Rooks up and running. I think – sadly enough – this year we can do Vets as 30+ and Rooks as in their 20s. I know me, Yoni, Joey, Yakir, Show, Rabin, maybe B-sh, and Doggy qualify for the 30s….20s will be plenty of ya’ll whippersnappers. Let me know if you want in and your age. Obviously I need the 30+ guys to all participate for this to happen.

I think, despite the loss, Yehudah and Sig played MVP type games. Yehudah covered a guy who bulldozed me the first time I even tried to cover him. Oren laid a nice hit on him later to take back the family honor.

I’d also like to apologize to anyone who I yelled at yesterday. I am a total a-hole when it comes to these games. I specifically remember getting into it with BD and Klink, but perhaps others. BD, also gets fired up so I think he’s cool. Klink is too nice a guy and means well so I should have been calmer with him.

Don’t know what happened in the game after I left but I was told not much. Score ended 3-2.

That’s about it. I hope all who participated experienced that competative rush. Would have been nice to win but it wasn’t in the cards. What I take away is that we were beat but we were not dominated. If we play these guys ten times, I think we win 6 or 7.

Let me know a.) if you want to play Chabad next week or b.) if you want to play our own game next week and c.) your age so i can organize Vets Rookies for 2 weeks. I think that will be my final game of the season.

3/13/09

This Sunday is the final game of our pitiful Jewball season (though we did have a strong start and a landmark Chabad game late) It is also our fourth annual Vets Rookies game. We have 13 signed up now, which is okay, but I expected more.

The rooks have 7 and the vets have 6. I’d love to get 3 more players here. The rooks could really use Yehudah…otherwise…its on you Dorothy. You can do it.

Here are the teams as they stand:

Vets: Yoni, Jordan, Rabin, Moshe, Show, Akiva

Rooks: Dorothy, Shrag, Katz, O, Uri, Klink, BD

Vets could really use another speed guy. Should be interesting. Both teams have deficiencies but Rooks look like they have the edge on paper.

3/16/09

2008-2009 EMAILS AND RECAPS (credit Big O)

WEEK 2 – STATUS – GAME 2 LOCKED OUT.2

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Oct 16, 2008 at 10:41 AM

Only seven signed up for the early game so looks like it won’t be happening. For the early game to work, of course we need the guys who play both, but really we need about 5-6 guys who are 8:00 regulars. Like last year we had for a while Konig, Jesselson, Edell, Jesus. Those guys need to be 8:00 every week. If not, the game won’t happen more often than not. This week, Jesus is our only 8:00 only guy and that is why it looks bleak. But enough of the bad news. Game 2 looks, maybe, like pretty sick. The talent coming down is top caliber. We got, Akiva, Jordan, Uri, BD, Yoni, Doggy, B-sh, Seattle, Dorothy, Ike, Yehudah, Evan, Klink, and Yakir. That is 14 players so we are maxed out. Adam, I know you signed up but I need to give the spots to these regulars first. Someone will likely cancel and then you are first on the list to replace. Another option is, my cousin wants to play and he’s willing to go permanent line on both O and D. If you are willing to battle him all day, we’ll play 16 players. If not, if anyone else out there wants to come down and play permanent line, come on down.

Teams will be up tomorrow. Should be very challenging this Sunday.

J WEEK 2: TEAMS

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Oct 17, 2008 at 10:22 AM

Only One Game this week – which means we play at 9:30 – (NOT 9:45 – 9:30). In other words, we’ll start at 9:50 when Yoni shows up. The weather is perfect for football this coming Sunday. Low 60’s, high 50’s. This should be an epic. Let’s hope everyone brings their A game and a conviction to win.

Teams:

Yellow

Yoni – QB
Jordan
Akiva C.
Uri
Klink
Evan
Yakir

Blue

Doggy – QB
Dorothy
BD
Yehudah
B-sh
Ike
Seattle

Again, if anyone out there (Elk, Sledge, Mayhem) are open to coming down and playing the line, my cousin wants in. Adam, that goes for you too. If you want to come down and just get in, you could rush and defend QBs all day. At least it’s a work out.

Everyone else, see you on the field,

J

WEEK 2 – RECAP/ WEEK 3 SIGN UP

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Oct 20, 2008 at 10:59 AM

WEEK 3 GAMES ON

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Oct 23, 2008 at 11:05 AM

Week 3 is kind of all over the place – I assume yom tov is to blame – because our QBs have not signed up yet, but we still have 10 (maybe 9) in game 1 and 14 (maybe 13) in Game 2. We’ll have to see what happens between now and noon. Obviously, QBs will be needed so adjustments might have to be made.

Game 1: BD, Jordan, Stawis, B-sh, Jesus, Klink, Uri, Dorothy, Dorothy +1, Maybe Rabin (we need a QB)

Game 2: Mayhem, Evan, BD, Stawis, B-sh, Adam, Seattle, Shrag, Naftali, Klink, Uri, Dorothy, Dorothy +1, Maybe Rabin.

I’ll wait until Noon today to see if any other regulars are in for either game. I wouldn’t mind a few more in the 8:00 of course.

J

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Oct 24, 2008 at 10:11 AM

Weather – Ari , Naftali, and Show are in.

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Oct 25, 2008 at 9:05 PM

Players,

The field tomorrow will be a disaster. That is a fact. We won’t have a full field and we will be working around puddles. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show up, just means that it might be decided once you are there that the game cannot be played. But show up. It won’t be raining tomorrow morning.

Problem 2 is that Dorothy’s +1 – as is always the case with +1s – has cancelled. So now we only have 11 for game 1 and 13 for Game 2. If Show or Naftali can help us out with the 8:00, that would be terrific. For Game 2, Ari or Naftali could please help out and fill the spot.

J

Need 1

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Oct 25, 2008 at 9:50 PM

Naftali and Ari are out. See if you can bring someone to the late game. In the early, we’ll play with an official QB unless Show shows up.

WEEK 3 RECAP/ WEEK 4 SIGN-UP

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Oct 27, 2008 at 10:37 AM

Week 4: Games On – WEBSITE

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Oct 30, 2008 at 10:31 AM

WEEK 4 IN NEED

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Oct 30, 2008 at 2:30 PM

We got 10 signed up for 8:00 and 10 for 9:45. I don’t like those numbers. We’ll play 10, but that leaves the very sad prospect of someone not showing which becomes a 4 on 4 with official. That’s more of a Queens era thing. Come on, there are 51 people on this list. We’re looking for at least 2 more in each game.

J

WEEK 4 GAMES ON: BARELY – LOOKING FOR 1 (EITHER GAME)

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Oct 31, 2008 at 10:44 AM

I should call this Weak 4.

Weather will be nice, but I’m getting a lot of excuses this week. Could be just a coincidence that people are either getting over injuries or have other things. Right now we are looking at two 5 on 5s. Those are games, but we need everyone to show up on time. Seriously – this is no joke. You literally will singlehandedly cancel the game if you don’t show up. A 5 on 5 is a fine game, so everyone please be there. The problem is that I am the odd man out. I didn’t pick a game so I would be number 11 in either one. So if someone can jump in either at 8:00 or 9:45, I’ll even things up with you. If not, I’ll come down to one game and play official O I guess.

8:00

Yellow

Yehudah – QB (safety should play him like a man, seriously)
Sledge
Jesus
B-sh – Reciever
BD

Blue

Dorothy – QB
Rabin
Moshe
Elk
Gabby

9:45

Yellow

Gabby – QB
Shrag
Yoni
BD
B-sh

Blue

Dorothy – QB
Rabin
Ike
Mayhem
Naftali

See you on the field,

J

Clock Change

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Nov 1, 2008 at 10:46 PM

Heads up. Clocks are changed tonight. Don’t want anyone coming out at 7:00 in the morning.

We got a 6 on 6 for the morning game (split up Uri and Rabin’s bro). Game 2 is now a 7 on 7.

J

Late Game – maybe 1 more needed

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Nov 2, 2008 at 8:04 AM

Yoni’s got a jammed finger – is listed as questionable. Do we have a last minute, email checking hero?

WEEK 4 RECAP/ WEEK 5 SIGN UP

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Nov 3, 2008 at 1:43 PM

Week 4 is gonna be a tough one to beat going forward. Rare that two games come down to the final drive. Even rarer that players are so caught up in the moment that even after the game is through and the clock expires, people want to stay and play. Supposedly there is something called “just for fun” but I couldn’t find it in the playbook.

Our website will be ready some time this week and we’ll all be signing up, posting our stats, recapping, trash-talking, and whatever else we can figure out on the site from here on out – so this should be the last email of its kind. Instructions to follow later in the week.

I missed Game 1, but I know it was good because when I got to the field, Jesus was on the sideline and he told me that he had already vomited. He also said that Rabin’s team was down 5-4 and driving. I actually watched the drive. Rabin moved the ball all the way down field from the other team’s 10, but the comeback stalled on about the 15 and the day was lost for Rabin. But he still had game 2 to play – could he redeem himself? But first, a quick, neutral, anonymous recap of Game 1.

Rabin takes an early 2-0 lead against yehuda w/a TD from newcomer Gabbi to Rabin and one to uri. then they scored 4 in a row w/dorothy doing most of the damage and yehuda qbing. iRabin over at qb for his team and scored 2 in a row to tie it. then yehudah ran 90 yards for a td. You know what happened next.

I wrote to my team yesterday that, although we (Blue) lost Game 2, it was the second most satisfying loss in my Jewball career. You’ll know why when I tell you the teams. After a strange and mysterious realignment of who showed up between Friday and and Sunday, a 5 on 5 with names such as Yoni and Gabby became for a short while a 7 on 7 and eventually a 6 on 6 with an official. But after Gabby needed to walk off a Game 1 injury and Yoni jammed a finger davening on shabbos (shtender injury), we played a hard hitting, contentious 6 on 6.

The teams were picked the old fashioned way, with Rabin and Dorothy choosing up. Of course there was mass confusion between the two and somehow Rabin ended up with seven players and Dorothy with five. Even sadder was that Rabin kept saying that we should trade a player with them as if that would somehow make it 6 on 6. Eventually we gave away the team’s top pick, Uri to even the numbers. I would right here like to publicly apologize to current league MVP Dorothy for making light of his past. Not only has Dorothy turned the corner as player this season (you should see this guy take a hit from BD and pop right up and continue to win games without a word) and not only is he a sincere and good person, he happens not to smoke anymore so I don’t why I said it. I felt bad afterward because Dorothy is just too nice a guy to trash. The rest of you I don’t feel bad about.

So with the teams (after Gabby leaving) set at Yellow: Dorothy, Uri, Ike, Mayhem, Oren, and Shrag against Blue: Rabin, Jordan, BD, Naftali, B-sh, and Rabin’s bro, Etan, the game began.

I don’t recall everything but I know it went back and forth for a while. Rabin’s arm was actually in decent form but it took a while for his brother to get up to speed. A blown coverage led to a quick Shrag TD (or Uri, who I shortchange weekly). BD had a massive day, stepping into the role of money receiver and scored following an incredible perfectly thrown 40 yarder. Rabin’s pass play calling was good and working (strange that we went away from it for wied running, reverse plays). The reason, probably was that on a 3rd and 20 by the endzone, Rabin handed off to Jordan who rolled right with BD and tossed up a prayer that BD pulled down over Uri and gave Blue a lead. Dorothy answered back and threw 2 TDs in a row (one where Ike beat me on a fourth and long right in front of the endzone.) Rabin and Jordan hooked up twice for a drive and it was capped off by an all Rahmani TD. With game tied Dorothy kept his poise and closed out the game (final TD was to Ike, don’t recall the 4th). Either way, everyone out there knows that yesterday was one of our more intense competitive games we’ve had, certainly the best of the season. See, the beauty of football is that you never know what it’s gonna be like come game time. Could just as easily be a lackadaisical laugher as an intense epic. Congrats to everyone involved. It was fun, but it wasn’t “just for fun.”

I wish we won so I could give the MVP to BD who was a marvel yesterday. Really. He had a tough defensive assignment all day and was NEVER exposed (as I was by Ike a few times) and he also played his best receiving game that I’d ever seen him in. But the losers can’t get an MVP no matter how valiant the effort. Dorothy is an easy pick because he threw the passes that won the game, but I’ll go with Ike. I tried my best to cover him, but he busts it on every set (with cheeks apuffing) and he scored the two big scores of the day, the tie breaker and the game clincher.

For now, sign up like usual by responding to this email, early, late, or both.

J

RECAP PART II

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Nov 3, 2008 at 2:17 PM

I recalled (on my own) how the 4th TD was scored, and it was a brutal memory, but so many things were nice about it (and terrible for me) that I must share. Rabin is on the 10 yard line after a short pass to BD. Crucial point in the game considering it is tied. I run a 15 yard out pattern. Rabin throws it into double coverage. A perfect pass on the numbers. When I jump for the ball it hits my shoulder and before I can recover to maybe haul it in Ike and Uri converge and jack me up. Uri ends up with the ball and takes it to the house to give Dorothy the edge. What no one knows is that i was right behind Uri when he caught the ball ,making a tackle (or flag pull) very easy. The only reason I did not do it is because our focused Week 4 MVP Ike dragged me down from behind just as I was about to pounce. Heads up, team first play.

J

WEEK 5 UPDATE

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Nov 6, 2008 at 1:04 PM

Game 2 is on, 1 needs at least 2 more.

Game 1: B-sh, Rabin, Jesus, Dorothy, Edell, Yehudah, Jordan, Uri

Game 2: BD, Yoni, B-sh, Naftali, Rabin, Oren, Dorothy, Adam, Li’l, Mayhem, Uri, Akiva

Anyone out there for an 8:00er – You can save the game…Yakir? it’ll be touch (and we’ll stay away from your pinky), Moshe, Gaby, FNL, Elk, Sledge?

WEEK 5: GAMES ON

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Nov 7, 2008 at 12:18 PM

Dont’ have a second today.

8:00

Yellow

Rabin – QB
Dorothy – Backup
Edell
Sledge
Levine
Uri
NEED ONE MORE – ANYONE OUT THERE LOOKING FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

Blue

Yehudah – QB
Jordan
B-sh
Elk
Duke
Jesus
BD

9:45

Yellow

Yoni – QB
Adam
Akiva
B-sh
Rabin
Oren

Blue

Dorothy – QB
Li’l Yish
Mayhem
Uri
Naftali
BD

8:00ers, come on time. Be there by 8:00. If people are getting up at 7:30 on a Sunday to play ball, you need to do your part and show up on time. no reason for 8, 9 guys to be waiting for fifteen minutes.

SAVE TIME – KNOW YOUR QB!

see you on the field,

J

WEEK 5 RECAP – WEBSITE SIGN-UP2

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…and get your Jewball webpage going. PLEASE…

Nov 10, 2008 at 10:17 AM

Jeremy Feldhamer <jfeldhamer@gmail.com>

To:jtrick1@aol.com

Cc:robert.konig@weil.com,adamsigman@yahoo.com,jparitzky@paradigm-funding.com,yonijones44@yahoo.com,mrlandau@gmail.comand 46 more…

Nov 10, 2008 at 10:32 AM

we should be good to go
please note if there are any errors at all (I am sure there will be) please email me and let me know
this site is a work in progress and all of you are the beta testers so please send me as much feedback as possible about anything errors/difficulties/ideas anything

Jeremy Feldhamer
www.HammerDD.com
718.673.8207

On Mon, Nov 10, 2008 at 10:16 AM, <jtrick1@aol.com> wrote:

Don’t know what happened in the late game. In the 8:00 Yehudah continued to win, throw TDs, and score them in a 6-4 (not that close) whooping of a Dorothy/Rabin effort. Yehudah threw 3Tds, pick 6ed 2, and scored one with his legs. Basically, he’s like Kobe Bryant (or the Fonz) – when he wants to score, he scores – it’s all up to him. After Rabin jumped out to a quick lead after a blown “passed the line” call that allowed Uri to make an easy catch and go the distance, Yehudah ran one in, then on the enusing drive, picked off Rabin and made it 2-1. A nice deep rout to Jordan with a sweet Jesus block made it 3-1. Yehudah again taking off made it 4-1. A crazy cross the body throw from Hud and a left handed catch by Duke made it 5-1, before Dorothy and Rabin made a late “rally” to get it to 5-2. After Yehudah picked another ball and ran it back for an insurmountable 6-2 lead, Rabin threw two TD passes in garbage time (the last, a nice jump pass to Dorothy). The game actually ended on a pick which Yehudah ran back to possibly make it 7-4, but a belated holding call should have brought it back, and with the clock winding down, it was the ball game.

Yehudah picks up a very well deserved MVP for being a fierce triple threat. TOP Plays were anything he did. Rabin’s team lost because of the picks but also because of some missed opportunities and dropped balls. So be it.

With Week 5 done, that is apporximately a quarter of our season. It’s flying by so if you think there is plenty of time left to jump in, you’re right, but not as much time as you think. Before you know it, pitchers and catchers will be reporting.

Your assignment for today is to log onto: http://www.jewballleague.com/login.asp and get your Jewball webpage going. PLEASE WAIT FOR AN OFFICIAL EMAIL FROM SLEDGE TO SAY WE ARE OKAY TO GO. HE WILL RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL TO THE GROUP TO GIVE THE THUMBS UP. You will also sign up for Week 6 on the website. The sign up page will be active every Monday morning throughout the season until Thursday at noon. After that, for all changes, email me directly. Otherwise, do not sign up with me. Sledge has assured me that website will allow us to blog, post our pictures and stats etc. shortly. For now, it will just allow us to sign up. My hope is that he can get the site done very soon, but apparently these things take a while. I have to assume it will be fully operational within the next few weeks.

Let me or jfeldhamer@gmail.com know if you are having any problems with the site.

J

WEEK 6 – GAMES ON2

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— On Thu, 11/13/08, jtrick1@aol.com <jtrick1@aol.com> wrote:

From: jtrick1@aol.com <jtrick1@aol.com>
Subject: WEEK 6 – GAMES ON
To: OHeiny@aol.com, robert.konig@weil.com, adamsigman@yahoo.com, jparitzky@paradigm-funding.com, esc_esq@yahoo.com, yonijones44@yahoo.com, mrlandau@gmail.com, jasonsklar3@aol.com, marvivg1@verizon.net, jroberts@pspsports.com, shersh@lvequities.com, owertheimer@yahoo.com, UHertis@aol.com, nycde@optonline.net, akivadov@comcast.net, arigreen2@yahoo.com
Date: Thursday, November 13, 2008, 1:29 PM

Teams Are Posted

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Nov 14, 2008 at 8:23 AM

We’re still Human

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Nov 15, 2008 at 6:45 PM

we may be on-line with our teams all fancy and in colored squares, but we still got the same old problems. Seattle and B-sh are out of Game 2 so Li’l Yish has been traded to Dorothy’s team and Akiva Cohen will play for B-sh. As for Game 1, Elk has just dropped out for an undisclosed reason (Seattle has an injury and B-sh has a funeral) so we are short for Game 1. If anyone has anyone who they can drag down to an 8:00 football game, well, that would be mighty swell of you. Please ask around. Ike, Uri, Moshe, Oren (play 2?), Sigman (2?). No need to confirm with me…Just show up.

J

1 more for Game 2

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Nov 15, 2008 at 7:37 PM

Ike graciously is filling in for Elk in game 1 – I know that will change the teams’ dynamic, but someone will have to figure that out on the field.

Yoni just dropped out of Game 2. I’d ask Ike to go from playing none to playing 2, but that might be a bit too greedy. Anyone else available to even things out at 9:45? Preferably a QB – Yehudah?

J

Gen. Blog

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Nov 18, 2008 at 8:53 AM

Week 6 Recap is on the website. Go to the main page and click Blog – its there. You can speak your mind without clogging up people’s inboxes.

Thanks again to Sledge for the overtime.

J

Week 7 Update

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Nov 20, 2008 at 11:54 AM

Nice to see we have 34 members on our site….I just wish more of them were on the active roster. I’m gonna be a game time decision myself with a bad neck from last week.

Right now we got 7 for the early and 9 for the late. Needless to say, even if I play in one of those, we need more guys.

Sledge, please keep the sign up window open on the website for another 24hrs.

Also, you don’t need to be on this email list to become a member of our site, I would actually love it if all the past Jewballers and future Jewballers joined as members. Once Sledge gets us going with our personal pages, it will be cool to see the game’s rich history come alive with names and faces from the past decade. Feel free to pass the link on to friends so they can sign up as members and play whenver they choose.

Anyway, please dig deep and sign up to make Week 7 happen. It’s only gonna get colder.

J

Tantalizing Week 7 Questions

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Nov 20, 2008 at 7:40 PM

Hmmm….so we have 9 for Game 1 and 9 for Game 2, and I am still waiting to sign up. Presuming I do, it will be for Game 2 which makes it an even 10 and a game. Unless Game 1 picks up someone, it will be cancelled, because 4 on 4 with official QB is not a game anyone wants to wake up before 8:00 for. So, unless we get a few more heads by tomorrow noon, my question is this: Who from Game 1 would jump to Game 2 if we cancelled the 8:00?

J

WEEK 7: GAME ON – STILL NEED HELP2

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Nov 21, 2008 at 11:24 AM

I just signed up for Game 2, which gives it 10. Game 1 is still stuck at 9. Sledge asked me not to cancel Game 1, and my answer is I’m not cancelling Game 1…there is no Game 1 to cancel. A game is 10 guys ready to play football. We don’t have that for 8:00. Sorry to those who signed up. I invite you all to join us at 9:30 if that is possible. I’m going to post the teams tomorrow night.

see you on the field,

J

Teams Week 72

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Nov 22, 2008 at 6:18 PM

Going stone-age this week with email posting of the teams. The website is having some tech-diff.

Good game tomorrow.

9:30

Blue

Dorothy – QB
Ike
Sig
Mayhem
Li’l
Duke

Yellow

Rabin – QB
Seattle
Jordan
O
Naftali
Sledge

Please someone from FR pick up the gear from BD.

Yes, it will be cold when we start…and yes, it gets warm as soon as we start playing so don’t worry too much about it. The more effort you put in on each play, the warmer it gets.

To make it more interesting…I’m guaranteeing a win for Rabin and myself. We will not be denied.

J

Jewball – Violent Present/Past Glory – Plus – Thanksgiving Sign Up

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Nov 24, 2008 at 10:05 AM

Short week everyone – don’t forget – there is a game Thursday. Sign up now (for Thursday, Sunday – Week 8 – of both) at www.jewballleague.com. This week’s blog features more talk of excessive violence and a look back. Choose the greatest Jewball starting offense of all time.

Enjoy the holiday,

J

Thanksgiving Bowl and Week 82

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Nov 26, 2008 at 10:18 AM

I know it is a short week, but we can’t justify these numbers. We got 10 for Thanksgiving (that included Mike P. swapping spots with Sig) and we only have 9 for Sunday late (4 for early). Doesn’t anyone have cousins, brothers, brothers-in-law coming in for the holiday? We should be jam packed tomorrow. Bring you dad or something. This is Thanksgiving football. The one day a year where every human male feels that primal urge to get out on the field and grunt their way through two hours of sweaty male full contact sports. Let’s go – all of you people who have been waiting for the right game – this is it! The weather tomorrow is going to perfect – mid to high 40’s and sunny. Bring your cousin from Cleveland. Bring your crazy younger brother Sammy. This is the game. Our Thanksgiving game is an exhibition game. Challenging but just for fun. Let’s go….let’s get 6 more signed up by noon.
You can email me in response to this if you want to play or if you know of people who want to play (or who you can force to play who secretly want to but think their football days are behind them – lor think they are to frum – like your brother-in-law Mordy).

As for Sunday, I’m speechless. We are in the thick of the season and we have 9 people for a 9:45 game. Let’s go Klink, get off the DL. Doggy, Dorothy, Konig, Show, Oren, Yehudah, Duke….where you all at?

I’ll email the Thanksgiving teams tonight.

J

Thanksgiving Teams

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Nov 26, 2008 at 3:38 PM

Now we got a game. A solid 6 on 6. Remember, although we still have room for 2 more players, don’t bring someone tomorrow unless a.) they are prepared to rotate with YOU or b.) you bring another someone so the teams remain even.

Kenny, you did not sign up for tomorrow. I wonder if that is because you didn’t want to…or something else…either way, you would make the teams odd now so try and bring someone with you if you come. Would love to see a legendary Jewballer join the game.

We are up to 12 for Sunday so we are good there. Could use 2 more, one of them being a qb (Doggy?) because right now Yoni is in and nobody else.

Remember, tomorrow is one of those extended games so we go from 9:30-11:30. Try and get there BEFORE 9:30 so that the game can start around 9:30.

Just a suggestion: Since it is Thanksgiving and in light of recent events, a non-flag game should be strongly considered to keep it “fun” and “relaxed.” We will go back to flag on Sunday.

Teams:

Pilgrims
Yoni – QB
Ike
Moshe P.
B-sh
Shrag
BD

Indians
Rabin – QB
Seattle
Uri
Akiva
Mo
Naftali

Enjoy. Sorry I can’t be there. I’ll be in Milford PA hoping my wife’s family can get a game together.

J

thanksgiving teams redux

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Nov 26, 2008 at 6:41 PM

we now have 7 on 7.

kennys is with th injuns and itan is a pilgrim.

can someone please bring a digital cam and take a group pic for the website and some action shots. let me know if you can. please everyone cooperate with the pic. nerdy at the time, but worth it in the long run.

Week 8 Locked Out

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Nov 28, 2008 at 10:02 AM

We got an all timer this week. Doggy against Yoni in a star-studded 7 on 7. 9:30 to 11:15. No early game for lack of Interest (sorry Sledge). Just need to figure out who the 14th is (either Itan or O’s boy Bradley…or maybe Sledge). Either way, big game. Make sure to bring your skills. Teams will be posted Saturday night.

J

Decision 083

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Nov 29, 2008 at 6:49 PM

Right now we have 12 for tomorrow not including you 5 (oren, you are in, I mean Bradely in the 5). So there is room for 2 more. If you want the spots you need to grab them by 8:00 tonight. We have a good 6 on 6 either way, but 2 of you can get in tomorrow if you let me know in the next hour.

Sledge, Sigman is out for Game 2. Seattle might be out as well. Itan I think signed up by accident. Rabin might want in and Oren thinks he has someone. Basically – much s up in the air.

Please Reply All to this email so everyone knows where they stand.

J

Week 8 Teams

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Nov 29, 2008 at 8:20 PM

The teams are posted on the site, but they’re not right…they’re close. Seattle and Sig dropped out last minute. Bradley and Rabin jumped in. You know what, I just realized I miscounted. We have 13 right now. I need one more (or one less). If anyone has someone to bring, please do. So, I guess, Seattle, to answer your question, I do need you. It’s hard to keep the numbers straight between cancels on the website and last minute email cancellations and people joining.

Please let me know if you have 1. Sledge?

Teams as of now:

Blue:

Yoni – QB
Ike
Uri
B-sh
Rabin
Naftali
Bradley

Yellow:

Doggy – QB
O
BD
Jordan
Akiva
L’il Yish
NEED 1 MORE

Even teams3

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Nov 29, 2008 at 9:10 PM

Mayhem is in. Teams are set. Be there at 9:30 ready to go.

J

Week 9: Numbers

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Dec 3, 2008 at 10:35 AM

Our blog comments have hit an all time low! we went from 19 to 1 in a week. That % drop makes Wall Street look good. But blogging is optional, playing is not. We got 6 signed up for the 8:00 and 9 for the 9:45. Need players and definitely need QBs. Gonna be cold Sunday, maybe with some snow coming down. Dress warm. No bathing suits.

J

Week 9 Update

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Dec 4, 2008 at 1:01 PM

The following people have signed up on the website:

rabin – ( Both Games )
Jesus – ( Game #1 )
Uri – ( Both Games )
Mo – ( Both Games )
Evan – ( Game #1 )
Shraggi – ( Game #2 )
Lil’ Yish – ( Game #2 )
BD – ( Both Games )
MOSHE – ( Game #2 )
Seattle – ( Game #2 )
rose – ( Game #2 )
Commish – ( Game #2 )
Sig/Sigdog – ( Game #2 )
yehuda – ( Game #1 )
BIG ‘O’ – ( Game #2 )

Dorothy mentioned (via email) that he would play both. That gives us 8 for the early and 13 for the late. We got a few problems with these numbers. For the 8:00 game our problem is we are short 2, and for the 9:45 game the problem is we are odd, we are kind of shaky in the QB area, and we are completely without linemen. But that’s what we are gonna live with. I notice some big names missing from the lineup this week. Without linemen we can’t play more than 14 so there is only one spot open for now Ike, B-sh, Yoni, Doggy, or whoever else might be interested. If Game 1 Only players want to asure themselves a game this week, maybe it’s a good idea to jump to game 2. First come first serve. Okay, I’ll post the teams sometime tomorrow.

J

Martyrdom2

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Dec 4, 2008 at 3:59 PM

So now we work with the following:

rabin – ( Both Games )
Jesus – ( Game #1 )
Uri – ( Both Games )
Mo – ( Both Games )
Evan – ( Game #1 )
Shraggi – ( Game #2 )
Lil’ Yish – ( Game #2 )
BD – ( Both Games )
MOSHE – ( Game #2 )
Seattle – ( Game #2 )
rose – ( Game #2 )
Commish – ( Game #2 )
Sig/Sigdog – ( Game #2 )
yehuda – ( Game #1 )
BIG ‘O’ – ( Game #2 )
B-sh – ( Both Games )
DOROTHY – ( Both Games )
MARINO – ( Game #2 )

That is 15 for Game 2 and 9 for Game 1. We cannot play 15 in Game 2 because a.) it’s odd and b.) even if we add 1 more, 16 is way to big a game where B-sh is the only lineman. People don’t like playing line for one set, imagine 3 sets in a row. Not gonna happen. So the max we’ll play in game 2 is 14. Do I have full confidence that someone will drop out Saturday night? Of course (Sig is always good for that – ouch). But I’m gonna plan like we will have 15 bodies ready to play at 9:45. So I, your fearless commisioner, will play Game 1 to make that a 5 on 5 Dorothy v. Yehudah game at 8:00 and then we’ll have 14 for Game 2 with Dorothy throwing against Yoni. I’m sure this all will change ten times between now and Sunday, but for now, Game 2 is locked out (unless you are a lpair of linemen) and Game 1 is alive and semi-well (could still use two more – Elk, BD, Edell, Duke, Ike, Doggy, Naphtali, Mayhem…join up). Teams will be posted Saturday night.

J Teams Posted

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Dec 6, 2008 at 6:04 PM

FYI: Rose is playing early instead of me. Right now it is a 5 on 5 (so everyone better show on time) but Elk and Sledge may come down to play line. Rose is on the team that has 4 right now (see the website)

Game 2 is posted with Mo as an “official” but he said he would just play the first game.

J

GAMES ON4

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Dec 6, 2008 at 10:47 PM

So you see the snow coming down. Me too. What that tells me immediately is that the 7 on 7 9:45 game is going to be spectacular. If we get a few inches we’ll have an optional tackle game which we’ll discuss tomorrow. As for the 8:00, it is on. And it is an opportunity to show your jewballness. Probably will need to wake up a few minutes early to get the car ready to drive. But that is part of your commitment. Snow is not an excuse to show up late or not show (chas v’shalom). Be there on time for the 8:00 if you are one of the ten signed up. should be great games tomorrow. and snow makes the five on five touch game that much better.

J

FATE!!!

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Dec 7, 2008 at 9:04 AM

Shrag out – Joey IN! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. The universe implodes!!!!!!

J

Week 10: Update

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Dec 10, 2008 at 10:20 AM

Blog is quiet, sign up is quiet. I know we’ll get a game (and a big one) but where is the week 1 enthusiasm? We’re at the halfway point of the season. This is the grind. This is where the pros are tested. Gut check time. We got 5 signed up for 9:45 and 2 for 8:00 (not including myself, who is in one of the two).

Let’s try and get 6 more in each game in the next 24 hours.

J

Week 10: Game Not On (yet?)

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Dec 11, 2008 at 7:43 PM

We have 9 (maybe 11 if Elk and Sledge jump in to Game 2). game 1 is not happening it seems. so we have a 9:30 game. weather should be (football) nice. now we need some players. let’s go. 3 more. where you at?

Week 10: GAME ON: TEAMS

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Dec 13, 2008 at 7:42 PM

Only 1 Game: 9:30 Start –

BLUE:

Dorothy – QB
O
Ike
Elk
Mayhem
Uri
Sig

YELLOW:

Yoni – QB
Evan
Jordan
Rabin
Sledge
BD
Moshe
Naftali

My bad, I overbooked this one. That’s what happens when people don’t use the website. So it’s your fault. Anyone want to jump in (or out). If not, I’ll force Naftali to play official O. Tomorrow is the day he learns to catch. Safetys can stay in place.

Yes, I did stack the team heavily against Yoni – lets’ see if he is invincible.

Week 11 Update/Jesus Bowl

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Dec 17, 2008 at 4:56 PM

Need more players for Sunday. We got 4 interested in an 8:00 and 7 for the 9:45.

Don’t forget the quick turnaround this week, We got the Jesus Bowl a week from Thursday. Then a Week 12 3 days later.

J

Week 11: Some Concerns3

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Dec 18, 2008 at 7:30 PM

I’m out anyway so no game does not terribly bother me – plus we play anyway next week (at least on Thursday, maybe Thursday and Friday if enough people want to). As of now we have about 9 late and 7 early. That’s not enough. The other reason we might not be able to play is weather related. Tomorrow is supposed to drop some nastiness on us and Saturday will allow it to freeze….so I’m thinking icecapades by Sunday morning….but that’s no reason not to sign up now. We’re looking for 3 late and 3 early. Get ’em in soon or we’re gonna call off the thing off.

J

Week 11: Game On

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Dec 19, 2008 at 11:37 AM

Sort of. Weather is something to watch so keep an eye out for a Saturday night (maybe Sunday morning) email about field conditions. We’ll check it out on Saturday to make sure it’s not frozen. Tomorrow is supposed to be decent so there may be no issues.

As usual (sorry Jesus….though your day is coming!) Game 1 looks like it won’t be happening. Klink, Ev, Sledge, please join the masses in Game 2. Ev, you can throw against Rabin in Game 2 since Yoni appears out. The numbers for Game 2 won’t be set till later. BD is bringing someone to give us 10 and Joey may be in plus one as well. And who knows who esle may try to sneak in last minute.

Game 2 will be 9:30 – 11:15. Be there 9:25 so the game can start on time. If you are bringing the cones, be there 9:20.

Injury update: Big O is out for 2 weeks with broken finger courtesy of BD.

QB News: I have found the answer: Jesus Bowl (Thursday 9:00-11:00) will feature a new QB who will truly rival Yoni in every capacity (I hope). Don’t miss that game.

J

WEEK 11 CANCELLED

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Dec 21, 2008 at 9:13 AM

You can begin signing up now for Thursday’s game.

J

JESUS BOWL 2008

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Dec 22, 2008 at 10:08 AM

The website is only doing sign-ups for next Sunday right now, so Jesus Bowl (this Thursday from 9:00-11:00) will use the old school email sign up. Just repsond to this one to get in (even if you emailed me already yesterday).

Turns out Yoni will not be around on Thursday (still in Miami) so I’m hoping that Yehudah can make it (I think he normally does) and I’m also hoping that potential QB of the future, Avi Winick, can make his debut. We’ll see. For now, just start signing up. I expect this one to close out pretty quick. The weather on Wednesday and Thursday looks real good (mid-upper 40’s) so the game will be on.

Another thing to consider is a Friday game so let me know if that is something you want as well. Basically, we could have 3 games in 4 days. you can sign up for Thursday (and/or Friday) with me by email. Use the website for Week 12 (next Sunday)

Let me know,

J

A Minyan for Jesus

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Dec 22, 2008 at 12:45 PM

We got ten in so far. Get in now! The only two spots I’m willing to save are QB spots. We’ll play 16. Here is who I have:

B-sh
Jordan
Mayhem
Evan
Akiva
Rabin
Moshe
Li’l Yish
Jesus
Klink

Jesus’ Flock

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Dec 22, 2008 at 1:22 PM

Doggy, BD, Dorothy, Sig, and Joey brings us to 15.

As much as I want the top flight MIA receivers like Uri, Ike, and Seattle to grab that last spot, i’d really like Yehudah David to throw against Doggy. So someone get in touch with that guy. Once we have 16, the only players we will add will be set linemen.

J

JESUS BOWL 2008: ON AND TEAMS

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Dec 23, 2008 at 11:52 AM

We raced to a packed game for Thursday. Hopefully the rain and warm weather tomorrow will do just enough to soften the field but not cause a flood. Mud, puddles, or ice, we play tomorrow (well, probably not ice). So we have 16 right now and 3 on the outside looking to get in. It’s gonna be a good game: Doggy against new QB, Winick. To compromise with the folks who want to go to a late minyan, we’ll call a 9:15 start. Game is 2 hours. Let me know if you can’t make it or can’t make it THE WHOLE TIME. There are people who want to get in so do not dare come late or leave early. Guys who are waiting for a spot, if you can get there at 9:15, you will get a spot over those who are more than ten minutes late. I would say take your chances.

For now, here are the teams:

YELLOW (MACABEES)

Doggy – QB
Evan
Sig
Rabin
Jesus
Li’l Yish
BD
Akiva

BLUE (GREEKS)

Winick – QB
Moshe
Dorothy
Jordan
Klink
B-sh
Shrag
Mayhem

See you on the field,

J

Tournament?2

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Dec 23, 2008 at 5:42 PM

We have 20 people interested in playing on Sunday. Right now we’ll stick with the 9:15 8 on 8, but wondering if we could accommodate everyone by playing a 5 on 5 tournament. 4 teams and 4 games in three hours. Obviously those of you who can’t get out for 3 hours will play in the later game. Basically there will be an 8:30 game and a 9:30 game. The winner of each plays a 10:30 championship game. I would need consensus from all 16 guys currently signed up for the 1 game.

J

Regular for Thursday

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Dec 23, 2008 at 6:23 PM

Sorry about the confusion. Tourny idea was for Thursday….i think you guys figured that out. We had a bunch of people interested, but a few not digging it….so we’ll stick with the way we got it. 8 on 8 with the teams already posted.

J

Jesus Bowl Reminder

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Dec 24, 2008 at 11:31 PM

Gonna be perfect football weather tomorrow morning. Hopefully the puddles won’t be too bad.

We start at 9:15. The field is behind the Hewlett Woodmere Middle School on Peninsula Blvd, a block from Mill Road. Be there on time because someone will be there to take your spot if you are more than ten minutes late.

J

Week 12 Update

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Dec 25, 2008 at 12:11 PM

Good game this morning. Not gonna site recap it b/c it’s an unofficial game. All around good effort by Yellow (macabees) with the stingy defense, picking and scoring to take the game 4-1. After Winick showed his steady arm with a deep connection to Jordan, the picks began to come fast and furious and Doggy converted three for short TD passes (Evan, Klink, Jesus). Sig scored on a pick. That was about it. Some nice passes were dropped and BD raged against the machine (complimented by some monster sacks and a flurry of cursing) and the season goes on. Sign up on the website for Sunday. We have 7 for game 2, 3 for game 1. There will also be a game New Years – the 2009 Bowl – (sign up for that starting Monday).

As for our new QB, obviously the picks need to be reconciled, but the receiving talent was really stacked against him. Yellow had probably 3 of 4 top recievers on the field. I don’t think we gave him enough options. Am I making excuses? Maybe. I’m sure he doesn’t want me to, but I really want this to work out. I think he’s got the arm and brains, he’s just gotta get used to our style.

merry christmas to all and to all a good night,

J

Week 12: Update: Game Off (for now)

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Dec 26, 2008 at 10:32 AM

I hear you. Played Thursday and will play again next Thursday – tough to get out as often as you’d like. Throw in all the Chanukah parties this Sunday and the vacations….looks like we may not play Sunday two weeks in a row. Have you seen the tempretature for Sunday? It’s gonna be 60. Too bad. We’ll play New Years day (wait for email on Monday morning to start signing up).

Here is what we do have for Sunday:

BD
Sig
Moshe
B-sh
Evan
Stawis
Uri

I see no QBs in there…and we are short between 3 and 5 players. you can sign up in response to this email today and tomorrow night. I’ll send out a late Saturday email with the final word.

J

Week 12 – Most likley On

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Dec 26, 2008 at 12:16 PM

We picked up a few players in the past hour….so now there will probably be a game, but we need to make it stronger. Try and make a call to get a friend to come down with you. The weather is going to be a miracle for December so it’d be a shame to waste.

J

Week 12 – Game On – Update

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Dec 26, 2008 at 3:46 PM

Players:

BD + 1
Sig
Moshe
B-sh
Evan
Stawis
Uri
Klink
Yehudah
Itan
Rabin

That’s 12. Send me anymore names asap. Teams posted after shabbos.

J

Week 12: Teams

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Dec 27, 2008 at 6:34 PM

No Game 1 so we got a 9:30 start. Be there 9:25.

Blue
Rabin – QB

Yehudah

Stawis
BD’s + 1
Moshe
Klink

Yellow
Evan – QB
Uri
Itan
Sig
B-sh
BD

Naftali is in on official O for now, but I think Moshe might be bringing someone to even it out. Yehudah can throw for Blue if they are down a few but these teams are configured so that Rabin throws against Evan. This one is personal.

J

2009 Bowl – THURSDAY2

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Sent: Dec 29, 2008 10:04 AM

Subject: 2009 Bowl – THURSDAY

Big game Thursday to kick off the New Year Jewball style.

I’m looking for 2-4 linemen, 2 QBs, and 12 recievers (well, 11, because I’m signing up right now). It’s a short week so don’t wait until the last minute to sign up. Respond to this email NOW to get your spot.

Game is played 9:15-11:15. If you have the cones, be there 9:10 so the field can be ready for 2 hours of ball.

2009 Bowl – Still time….QB Needed

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Dec 31, 2008 at 10:49 AM

We had 13 until a few minutes ago….now we have 12, which is good news because that is an even number, but the bad news is the 1 who dropped out was Yoni. It would be great to do a Jesus Bowl rematch between Doggy and Winick, but our new QB has been awful quiet since last week. So we still got time left. Looking for a new QB and three recievers. Step right up.

J

2009 Bowl Saved

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Dec 31, 2008 at 11:18 AM

yehudah throws against Doggy tomorrow. it’s gonna be a good one again. still need one more to make teams even.

J

Week 13 Reminder

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Dec 31, 2008 at 12:09 PM

We are even now for the 2009 Bowl so tomorrow is set (can still handle 2 more though). Also, Week 13 is played this Sunday with sign up on the website. So far we have only a handful so get that done. We are on pace for our 20 week season to come to a close the last Sunday in February. Get your games in now. It’s a long off season.

J

2009 Bowl – Teams and Advice

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Dec 31, 2008 at 5:49 PM

Frigid tomorrow with potential for icy conditions. Game is on. 9:15-11:15. If the field is ice, we go home….but everyone should be there ready to play at 9:10. Wear something that covers your ears and better to wear boots than cleats. Speed will not be an issue tomorrow. The team that can run/hold onto the ball will win.

Teams

Blue

Doggy – QB
Moshe
BD+1
Jordan
B-sh
Elk
Rabin

Yellow

Yehudah – QB
Adrock (formerly known as Sig)
BD
Jesus

Sledge
Uri
Naftali

Week 13 – Jeapordy

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Jan 1, 2009 at 9:12 PM

Here’s a quick recap on today’s 2009 Bowl because it was such a bummer the way we lost.

Everyone knows how cold it was this morning so respect to all those who braved the threat of frost bite in the name of Jewball. Honorable mention to Moshe for showing up despite his wife being at home with contractions. B-sh came in shorts with a hangover so any pain he was feeling was his own fault. I guess Uri gets one too for showing up and trying his best to play through a bad knee injury. We wish the consumate warrior the best in his recovery.

So Doggy was doing much better than any other QB out there considering the wind and temp and his passes were crisp. With a deep ball to Jordan Blue went up 1. Yehudah’s legs were nullified by BD’s boy dropping out last minute and the fact that we had no safety so no QB running. Without the ability to run and the tough passing conditions, he was kind of ineffective…so Adrock takes over and proves himself a smart and able QB. Soon finds Uri in the endzone to tie things up. Blue goes up again on a trick play with Rabin throwing from a toss back and Jordan catches another one for a 2-1 lead. With fifteen minutes left Yellow is facing a 4th and 49. In a questionable call, Adrock – insane as he is – chooses to go for it. A short pass to Jesus looked like a bad idea and the game would be in Blue’s hands. But no, Jesus plows down the sideline and gets by Doggy and Jordan to score. After Doggy goes three and out, Yellow gets the ball back one last time and scores (Ad to Yehudah) and then holds Blue in the final possesion. Game Over. I’ll give Ad the Jewball for the heart which assured his team the win. I’ll give myself a Klan for giving up each of Yellow’s 3 scores.

Now the worse news – We only have 5 signed up for Sunday. Anyone want to sign up so Week 13 can happen? 8 games left. They won’t come back. Let me know,

J

——-

Subject: 2008-2009 Jewball R.I.P.

Yesterday’s game was uniquely depressing. It was the first time we ended a season with our annual Vets/Rookies game so the crushing Vet loss might have something to do with it and the fact that we won’t get together again on our field for about six months is equally too bad. But that’s not the whole thing of course. Yesterday, for the first time, in a manner that was stunningly apparent, I glimpsed the horizon. Not really for me. Thank G-d I feel fine and managed to stay mostly injury free (b’a’h) throughout my Jewball career. I’ll be back next year with no issue about it. But the end is near from what I came from, from the game’s source. The truth is, who really cares. Beyond some sort of meaningless nostalgia, the Queens game doesn’t matter. Football is football. Playing a competative game with guys you look forward to seeing each week is all that matters. Do I get as much nachas out of seeing Dorothy’s brand spanking new pair of red cleats as I do playing alongside Yakir and Joey (which I still hope may happen just one more time)? Yes I do. And those beautiful new cleats that Dorothy wore yesterday….they represent a long future for the game (presuming we do some recruiting over the summer). And cleats were certainly a smybol of rebirth yesterday. Rabin spoke of needing a new pair for next season after having worn the same ones since the Queens games. I myself tossed mine after the game (after 5 years of service). Moshe Pilvesky, one of the few bright spots of our 2008-09 campaign (along with Sig and the Big O), mentioned that he bought a pair of cleats for the few games he played in Queens back in the day. And now he’s back with us in a new pair. So cleats do tell stories. Yesterday the stories were about moving on and renewal.

Yesterday was a Vets/Rookies game…and it is a pleasure to see the rooks play, hear them talk about their upcoming softball season, listen to them call us out for our oldness, our creakiness, our slowness. Although it is amazing to us vets that we became “those guys”, he we are. At least we are still fighting…barely. I’ll wrap up the game quick because there are other things that need to be said.

We started with some confusion as 8 30+ers showed up and only 7 twentysomethings. Konig ( a vet by definition) QBd for the rooks because Dorothy was conserving his arm. Konig threw a pick to Jordan on the second play of the game (the first being a bomb to a dissapearing Uri (as far as weight)). Yoni and the vets failed to convert. On the 2nd Rook drive, Show jumped the route and picked Konig again….this time a sure TD was in the cards….but the Vets suffered an alzhaimersesque moment and Show stopped running with both flags in tact…and the Vets couldn’t convert from the 10.

Yoni could not be blamed at all for the loss yesterday b/c the Vets showed no “experience” with catching passes and balls were dropped throughout the game – 2 for sure TDs. However, the rooks scored 3 times off picks throughout the game. Devastating picks. The kind where they pick it off at the 6 and run it right in before the other team even knows what happens. The closest the Vets got was 2-1 at the half after Jordan finally caught a ball and scored, but it was downhill from there. Akiva, our only linemen got injured and Show, our fastest receiver got injured….so we were a rotating mess and walking wounded. The rooks, basically toyed with the vets on defense and with O and BD rushing, and Uri playing centerfield, we seemed to have no shot. The rooks all played very well. Oren, Shrag, Klink, BD, Dorothy, Katz, and Uri are all skilled and the Vets, as configured, were no match for them in the end. To say that we would have beaten them “had we all been healthy” is to live in fantasy. The point is to win. Not win “if.” Rooks win this one – in reality – 4-2 (Rabin catches the final pass of the season, a TD off Klink’s chest).

As for the season, it kind of faded in the late winter months. We had a very strong start with 11 straight Sundays of games (amazingly, Yakir was an opening day starter with not hint of retiring….that’s how long a Jewball season is), but after the 2009 Bowl, the wheels came off. We started struggling to find players. Guys like Ike, Seattle, Li’l Yish, Naftali, Mayhem, Sledge, Elk went MIA. We played 3 more games before we ended with the very cool Chabad game and then yesterday’s finale, but the overall sense of the season was that it was lost. And it has been tough. We lost surefire regulars Yakir and Sim completely. Joey, Doggy, and Uri are harder to come by. Yehudah, Ike, and Seattle, three very good players, are not regulars like they were last year. We gained guys (like the 3 mentioned above), but its not going to be enough to keep the league afloat and competative. Bottom line is we either need to get some of those guys to commit again, or recruit some new talent. A couple new QBs is imperative. Not just new players, but new good players who have that Sig/Oren/Moshe commitment to coming down and competing. That is our mission for over the summer.

I thank Sledge for our website experiment (did not go exactly as planned, but it did the trick for a while). I thank Evan for getting the Chabad game up. We hopefully will play a bunch of those games next year (especially if we continue to have too few regulars).

As usual, I end by saying that Jewball is a game but it is also a family. For all the trash talk on the field and the brutal insults and kicking of people when they are down, there is a vital bond between us. There are many relationships that people forge in life, but I hope we all know, that if we ever really need back in whatever the situation or problem, we have our football guys. We share simchas, we visit shiva houses, we go to random shul events just to show support. If there was never another game again (c’v) our legacy is set in the people we have become through the game and our loyalty to it and each other. For those of you reading this thinking my words are over the top and its “just a game”…you are wrong…you might even know it.

Put down that oreo, quit smoking, hit the gym, go running, and get in Jewball shape. Lets do it again September 2009.

12/27/2010

Looks like we got in Week 13 just in time. And based on the weather reports of mid to high 40’s late in the week, looks like 2010 Bowl and Week 14 will happen as well.

Despite Zez trying nobly trying to get a snow game, as I tried to tell him and whichever disillusioned few wanted to join him, a game cannot be played in this much snow. It’s just impossible. It is fun to think about, but not realistic. So we’ll keep an eye on the fields and hope that we can be clear enough to play something this weekend. And in the same breath I remind everyone that this email list is not to be used for anything but for me to organize our weekly game. If you abuse it, I can’t keep you on it.

Quick recap of yesterday because, again, we have a quick turnaround this week.

Yesterday was a beautiful day for football and as usual, our field is a dream to play on every time. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over what an awesome turn of events this field has been.

We had 12 players at 8:00 ready to go, Rabin facing Evan in a rematch of the Jesus Bowl. Unfortunately for Rabin, Evan was just as sharp and accurate as he was Friday and he dominated from the get go. The way Evan was throwing, hitting receivers in stride, arching bullets just over and around defenders like a member of The Fraternity, and zipping balls into tiny windows of opportunity, Rabin was going to have to be his best self in order to stand a chance, and it was not in the cards. Evan had his way. And with such capable weapons as Lisker (who everyone want to call Mighty Mouse – and I hear that – but it’s too long – I’m going with Mighty), Socks, and BD, as well as stalwart linemen like Landau and viscous newcomer Fuchs, Rabin was in trouble.

The trouble manifest itself in not only in intense pressure on the QB, extraordinary flag pulling, and skilled grabs, but in a series of lucky breaks. But as they say in sports, good teams get lucky, and Evan lead a very good team early Sunday. They beat Rabin 4-0.

Top Plays: Socks tip to Lisker for the TD, Lisker diving flag pull to stop a TD, Rabin throwing incompletion after incompletion and remaining a leader in the huddle, “Come on Guys!”

Jewball to the Mighty for overall explosiveness and head turning talent. A tremendous addition to our game. With Zez, Socks, and Mighty becoming regulars, we got a lot younger and better, very quickly. To the future.

Game 2 I was not there for, but I was able to witness Meir, a Jewball veteran, roll up early to warm up on the track and then throw absolute bombs in practice. He looked very dangerous, but I guess Evan is into making statements.

After Evan started strong by hitting equally impressive young rookie Klien for a TD, Meir shot out to a 3-1 lead by finding wide open TD targets in BD,Fuchs, and Jesus. Evan faced a difficult climb with only a half hour left on the clock, but never underestimate the mightiness of Mighty. Evan to Mighty for one score combined with an Evan pick and another pass and score to Mighty evened things up. Then Mighty picked one with minutes to spare and Evan hit Klein again to sandwich the Mighty’s TDs with Klein’s second of the day. Evan wins 4-3. Not bad.

Let’s try and have another three successful games this weekend beginning Friday with the 2010 Bowl. Game is 9:30 to 11:30 on Friday. Then we have Week 14 on Sunday which can be a doubleheader again, an 8:00 and a 9:45. Let me know specifically, which games you are playing in. And when you sign up, realize that it requires that you to intend to play. Not only intend to play in theory, but to actually come down, even in the cold, even early, on Friday or Sunday morning.

12/27/2011

WEEK 11 was the kind of game that will either be described as great or terrible, depending on where you stood.

The undeniably great thing about it was that, with Degel ending (or at least ending for some), we inherited a slew of fresh players to raise the skill level of our game. WEEK 11 will be known as the turning point of our season. Play time is over. The home stretch of 9 cold weather games are coming up and it’s not for the weak or soft. We have Socks vying for TD leader (10), tied up with breakout sensation Steveo. We have Zez putting up a stat line that covers all facets of the game (2 TDs scored, 2 Thrown, 2 Picks, and a Sack). With Mighty coming back full time, he’ll be right there in the mix for a Jewball every week. Meir and Snow have rocket arms. Nox will make sure no opposing QB feels safe. Every week promises something memorable.

WEEK 11 was memorable because of the unlikely comeback White put together after being down 3-0 and then 4-2 late. Meir lead Blue and was given a very formidable lineup of receivers including BD, Socks, Diego, and Steveo. TE/Line duties went to an equally impressive trio of Landau, Nox, and Jesus (Happy Birthday!). On the other side was – to be honest – a less impressive team. Rabin took the snaps and huddled up with Zez, Jordan, O, Luau, Ari, Matt, and Chanan.

Meir, who has the QB mindset and the arm, did not so much come out firing to lead his team as much as White’s QBs came out misfiring. Snow stepped in for a belated Zez (“Wait, honey, I have the kids today!?”) and started off nicely before lofting one that BD on the bum ankle picked. Meir went 3 and out and Rabin took over at the 5 and promptly threw a pick to the man himself – Jesus plays grinch and sets up his team. Meir does the job and punches in points as BD uses his injury to fake that he is slower than Rabin and elude him for the score.

Rabin continued to struggle, perhaps proving the assessment of a panel of Iranian child psychologists 27 years ago. With two picks that were converted into points (one, a great run back from Socks with all his men out front blocking, and the other a sweet drop in pass to Nox) Blue took a quick and brutal 3-0 lead. At that point White made the QB switch and Zez stepped in. Around the same time, Chanan got in the huddle and said, “I’m not gonna let Nox be the only D line threat today. I’m going in.” Between those two events, White’s fate was changed, and Socks lost a sure Jewball in the process. You see, Socks had 3 picks and 2 TDs by the time Blue was up 4-2 with ten minutes to go and it seemed like the Blue win was sealed. But Zez is such a never-say-die gamer…you really can’t count him out. Does he run a lot? Sure. But, as we said about Elishah, it is the opposing teams job to account for it. Not only did Blue not really account for it, but they compounded the problem with bad tackling/flag pulling. Zez had his way with the left sideline and ran in 2 TDs on the day. Meir – without much exaggeration – fell apart toward the end of the game. The man whom we expect many good weeks from over the winter threw a pick in three out of his last five possessions (P6 to Rabin, 1 to Jordan, and finally one to Matt (with Jordan assist) at the 5). The picks allowed White back in the door and with a very effective Zez and Chanan tandem in the red zone…White came back and stole the game 5-4 in OT.

Jewball is a no-brainer. Zez stepped in to a 3-0 deficit and put on a spectacle. Between picks, a calm huddle, speed, and determination…he lead his team to victory.

TOP PLAYS: O’s near pick, Socks’ pick off Steveo tip back, Chanan and Meir barking, That one time Nox was blocked.

Stats are attached. I gave Nox 3 sacks and Zez one because I remember them. If you recorded a sack yesterday, let me know.

As some of you may know, the turf field was taken yesterday for the Jesus Bowl (4-4 tie played at No. 6 school). We believe it was a one time thing because of the day off, but I don’t want to take chances. LISTEN UP – The regular Sunday games will now be played from 9:00-11:00. That means we start a half hour earlier (hopefully some of us get there around 8:45) and we play a bit longer (but home earlier for those with families to appease). So 9:00-11:00 from here on on out. Same with 2012 Bowl on Monday.

Although we would play elsewhere if we lost the field, once you have it…it’s hard to go back.

Because of all the new guys coming back, we’re going to probably play 16 each week. I’m looking for 2 QBs, 2 set lineman, 2 TE types, and 10 WR types each week. As much as I want to make everyone happy and allow all to play, I want the games to be good. Essentially, your goal is to define what you are and be either top 2 QBs, top 2 linemen, top 2 TEs, or top 10 WRs signed up each week. If you cannot be that, be loyal, show up when you sign up, show up on time, play hard every play. There will be someone who wants your spot. Act like you respect that. Talent makes games good and we need talent to keep this league going. At the same time, guys who have been playing and have been loyal for a few years and do things the right way will get a spot over new guys. I’ll mix the new guys in as much as possible, but it’ll be a week by week basis. Don’t give up. As you saw from Week 11, 2 guys dropped out over the weekend, and 1 did not show. It happens. You’ll get in games, but if you are new, it may take some patience.

Let me know about Sunday, Monday, or both.

1/1/2012

From the Are You Kidding Me files: Rabin just emailed me to say he does not have the gear but believes that Socks has the flags and ball (Zez also wanted to know what time and where the game was…which is amazing, but less important). Socks is not playing today and I don’t think is even around. Please tell me he gave them to someone who is playing and they will be brought to the field by 9. Come on, people. (yes, i’m going to be the first to use this line) It’s 2012! Just as a backup, please bring any football you have. I may have the old velcro flags in my car. Rabin, doesn’t get…him, we tackle. Same rule for Socks tomorrow if this goes down like I think it might.

1/17/2011

We needed that. Badly. After a few weeks of tainted ball, whether because of sloppy play or numbers issues, or bad fields, or injuries, Week 15 was exactly the antidote. Just a good, solid, hard-nosed, injury free game, that had a flow to it, a competitiveness, talented players up and down the rosters, and a massive turnout. I think it was the reminder we all needed as to why we come out and play this game as long as G-d gives us the health and opportunity. With that said, I will speak personally for one moment. I had a birthday today (now yesterday) and I think I’ve celebrated on the field before, but if birthdays are about anything, they are about reflecting on your life. And spending a day grinding it out and working hard in the cold with my Jewball brothers, it really makes you grateful to just be alive. There are people my age who are living and breathing and have great families or great jobs or other things that make them fortunate, but unless you are lucky enough to spend your birthday trying to keep up with, outrun, and tackle, athletes a decade younger than you….you’re not living the same. It’s life at a different speed. My bracha to all Jewballers (who are younger than me, and that is most if not all of you) is that you can continue to play this great game, and stay injury free, and one day we’ll be playing Vets Rookies and the Rookies will be our kids. Amen.

The game was stacked. We go from a potentially canceled game on Saturday night to our – pound for pound (yes, i went there) biggest game of the season. 16 men playing a game of football. Big guys with a lot of aggression and no clue how to tackle (“Go low Go low!”). Just barely enough snow to call it a cushion. So little snow, that, though traction was not great it was there, which meant trying to tackle runners and receivers who built up some decent momentum. This was not a game for soft players.

Teams ran like this. Stein brothers plus Mo, Jordan, Yossi, Mighty, BD, and new kid on the Eli Block. That sounds like a pretty formidable team. You think, “Who made these one sided teams?” But on the other side was just as talented a squad. Dov Snow at QB, supported by Zez, Avi, Elishah, Klien, B-sh, and two new guys that I am not 100% sure of their names (but one wore a Giants hat forward the entire game, which bothered me for two reasons).

Meir, in the Revis jersey, a very serious, cerebral quarterback took the ball first and as the game began with 15 players, Snow sat on defense until our 16th came. He moved the ball early with screens, slants, and outs and with a runner like Mighty, plays like that were very effective and eventually resulted in points. The longest early play was a beautiful catch and run by BD where the big man got his nose cut, our biggest injury of the day. BD played with blood trickling down his face the rest of the morning. If ever there was pressure on the QB, Meir was good to take off and gain much positive yardage by plowing through the D. After 2 Snow 3 and outs, and 3 Meir possessions, it was 2-0 with Meir on top.

Snow got on the board by hitting his favorite target deep, Avi “Heap” Biegacz downfield and Heap made one of two masterful catches for points on the day.

On the next Meir possession, Jordan fumbles and Klien recovers, but Snow goes 3 and out. Meir then uses a brilliant Mo catch and dash to take his team down the field and then from the 20 floats one to Mighty in the back corner of the endzone to take a the 3-1 lead. But Zez, perhaps the biggest competitor of them all, who humbly relinquished his QB position and rotated out like any other player, basically had enough. Snow, who was getting eaten alive by the Stein pass rush, found Zez for short over the shoulder passes twice and Zez did the rest with his muscle and drive. Battling defenders and having tacklers bounce off him, he scored 2 TDs to tie things up.

But that momentum did not carry over as Mighty makes a splendid catch over the middle, leaps a defender, and runs 65 yards and flips into the endzone for the Meir lead. Snow has more trouble, underthrowing Elishah on back to back plays. On the next drive Snow is picked by Eli at the 10 which leads to another TD for Meir. 5-3 with about 15 minutes to go. Snow makes it interesting by lofting a rainbow to Heap who makes the nice catch of the great pass and takes it to the house.

Meir then throws an untimely pick to Zez which gives Snow the chance to tie the game, but Mighty picks it right back at the 1 and because the clock is at zero, we decide a possession for each team. Either Meir wins with a score or Snow wins with a defensive stand and a TD.

Snow’s crew makes the defensive stand but it’s close. On 4th and long, Meir dumps the ball to his brother, Menachem, and the kid charges toward the endzone, evading and brutalizing tacklers. He is finally forced out of bounds at the 1.

Snow now needs to go 99 yards to tie the game. On the first play he looks for Heap deep down the right sideline and completes the pass, but Mighty, in man coverage, wrestles the ball from the receiver before his feet touch the ground. Game over.

Great game. Great day for Jewball. Great day for our Jets.

Jewball goes to Mighty. Two picks, 3 scores.

Let me know about next week,

1/24/2011

(Read to the tune of Eichah)

Woe is us Jewballers, I write this recap of a very good game with a heavy heart. Jewball is all we have left. I almost can’t bear to write about football today. Really I should wait till tomorrow because the wounds are fresh for many of us who watched our beloved Jets come so close to greatness last night (again) and fall short. At least we have our game left, I guess. There really is no consolation right now.

12 players braved the coldest temperatures this city has seen in a long time to play our game and it was another strong one. Tackle, with just the right amount of snow. A game that starts off with players feeling the cold in every extremity heats up quickly as the blood and competitive juices get flowing.

Evan, who emerged from exile with much to prove, not only came out, but embraced contact and in my eyes is now fully vindicated of his prior behavior. It takes a lot to come back from ridicule and Evan decided to play the game and play it the right way and whoever did not see it, take my word that there was no sign of laziness, cowardliness, or lack of character. This was a teshuvah gemurah. He lines up with Steelers Jordan, Mo, Elishah, Daniel (the big one from last year that came with Mo and looks like a Nazi officer), and Munchie (the younger Stein). They face off against Meir leading the Jets, Mighty, Yossi, Rabin, BD, and B-sh (wearing….longsleeves…but still shorts).

Opening drive starts off with a bang as Evan floats one to Jordan over the middle and Jordan executes a nifty left handed catch and run for the first down. Looked promising for the combo of Jordan and Evan both wearing their Steeler black and gold. But that drive stalled shortly thereafter as Evan was fighting the wind and forcing the deep ball which was not an easy task.

Meir and Might hooked up to put the first points on the board as Mighty blew up Dan’s coverage and hit the post seam. Meir expertly dropped a pass into Mighty’s million-dollar hands and off to the races went the Jewball rookie superstar. 1-0 Jets.

The Steelers faded in their second possession as well, attempting a few more deep passes that couldn’t quite make it. But the run was mixed in using Munchie’s brute style and the offense showed some promise grounding and pounding. However, on the ensuing Jets possession, Meir moves the ball downfield with a very well-used Rabin (who added a pick) and then sticks it into BD’s chest at midfield. BD is immediately smothered by 3 players, but he keeps the leg churning and remains upright. It is soon realized that the 3 players on top of BD are all on his team and merely trying to block for him. As the stupefied Steelers watch helplessly, BD emerges from the crowd and shuffles his way into the endzone for a 2-0 Jet lead.

The Steelers would then respond to the pressure of the mounting lead. A screen to Elishah with a toss back option to Evan running left had the Jet D frozen as Elishah faked the lateral left and made a sharp cut right, keeping the ball and avoiding tacklers for a much-needed 94 yard TD run. With that, the Jet lead was cut in half.

The Steeler D, which harassed a mobile Meir in the backfield as much as possible (Meir, escaping some close call sacks in the process) held the Jets without points as the ball changed hands. Believing in their running game, the Steelers had the Jet D on their heals again. Off a blitz, Evan held the ball very patiently until all linemen and the safety converged on him before following the playcall to hand off to Jordan running in the opposite direction. Jordan bounced it outside and grinded through a few tacklers before hitting daylight. 90 yards later, the game was tied.

It got even better for the Steelers as they managed to stop the Jets again. With a chance to take the lead, Evan took off running and made it to midfield before being tackled by BD and Meir. And now comes your Ezra’s Pharmacy Turning Point of the Game. Evan lays a beautiful ten yard pass over Jordan’s outside shoulder and Jordan makes the catch and dashes for the sideline as Meir is the wall separating Jordan from the TD. A step before getting out of bounds, Meir flies in with a swipe tackle and knocks the ball loose. Fumble. Meir recovers. Next play, Meir hits Rabin for 35 yards down the sideline. Mo misses the pick or at least the knock-down by inches. Rabin turns and goes 35 more yards to score. 3-2 Jets.

The Jets would add another as the Steelers gambled on a corner blitz from the 10 yard line, with Jordan leaving Yossi to get to Meir before the ball is released. Meir instead burned the Steelers and zipped one in to Yossi to take a commanding 4-2 lead.

With twenty-five minutes remaining, the Steelers felt the walls closing in. Evan hit Mo for a catch and run that moved the team within striking distance. Evan then kept the ball and raced for the left corner (yes, he went left!) barely making it in to the endzone before bring crushed by Meir. 4-3, Jets.

With 15 minutes left, the Steelers needed a defensive stand, and they got one, but failed to convert it into game tying points in what would be their final possession.

To ice the game, Meir hit Mighty again on the side line at the 60 and Mighty literally confronted and either beat, faked, or muscled past every single Steeler defender on his way to pay dirt. Incredible run. Mighty is a head-scratching talent.

Good game all.

Jewball goes to Meir. 5 TDs for his team, all passes, to 4 different recievers. On a day where passing the ball through the air was not easy (or advisable) the QB wearing 21 made it look effortless.

So the Jewball Jets win and the Jets that matter lose. This will sting a while. Let’s get out there next Sunday and take it out on eachother. As of now, next week is back to flag, unless we get snow (my fingers are crossed. I’m loving these games.)

Let me know,

2/14/2011

So the weather wasn’t exactly as nice as predicted, but I think this Sunday is going to be a winner. We better start getting there early. Looks like the soccer dudes are sniffing around.

To the game:

We had a 9 on 9 this week, with Joel and Munchie going auto-line plus a 3 man (L,L, TE) rotation. Don’t worry, our state of the art field can handle the numbers no problem. What could not be handled was a D line trifecta of Munch, B-sh, and Jesus. Basically, Zez and co. in White (Socks, BD, Diego, Rabin, Jordan, Shrag, Joel – pause for breath – and Mo.) had to be perfect in execution to win or even compete. Zez‘s strengths, running and throwing long, were swallowed up by a pass-rush that was virtually unmanageable. Zez was under pressure all day and the few drives that got going (namely the one where Rabin threw) could not be sustained and converted into points.

On the other side of the ball, Meir in Blue (with Hands, Munch, Josh, Mighty, Aboody, B-sh, Jesus, and Balsam) did his thing. Smart, calculated, crisp game plan and tight passes. The speedy trio of Mighty, Aboody, and Josh were a bit too much for Socks, Jordan, and Diego in coverage (plus newcomer Balsam in the Vilma jersey proved he knew his way around a field), and although plays were made, they had the edge just enough to put up the points needed to win (which on this day, was only 1).

After a back and forth of defensive stops, Meir drove the field with Hands making a catch and run down the right sideline. The drive kept going with an Aboody screen, and a Balsam catch and run, which eventually resulted in a dump off to Mighty on 4th and 12. Mighty then proved that he is the most dynamic player any of us have ever seen on a Jewball field. I have been at this for nine years, and Rabin for more, and we both have never seen anything like this freak. A few weeks ago, he scored a TD by making everyone on the opposition miss while running thirty yards. Yesterday, he ran 15 yards for points and made everyone miss – twice! It was like trying to bag a phantom. Unreal.

Meir added an insurance TD with about 40 minutes left by hitting Jesus deep in the endzone. That was all they needed. Not a great game because Zez couldn’t put up his usual fight (he is working with two pretty serious and nasty leg/knee injuries) plus White was rather sloppy. The score makes it seem like a tight game, but it felt like Blue was dominating from start to finish.

Top Plays: Meir with the called back but sweet one handed pick, BD and Socks at eachother’s throats, BD thinking he had magic quarters but they were just Meir’s, Meir to Josh like Rodgers to Nelson, Diego big pick in the endzone to give White (false) hope, Rabin driving like its 1999, Zez crushing Mighty on the screen.

Jewball to Blue’s D line: Munch, B-sh, and Jesus showing the world how it’s done.

Next week we have our annual (except for last year, I know) Vets v. Rookies game. What defines a Vet and a Rookie keeps changing. It used to be Vets were those who played three years or more. Then it became Vets were over 30. Well, now I say, I’ll know it when I see it. Please respond by signing up and letting me know a.) your age and b.) how many seasons you have been around for.

Let me know,

PS – Some self promotion. My son Jack is on Sasha Vujacic’s website (the movie on the main page): www.sashavujacic18.com. It’s a strange story as to why, but it somehow really happened.

2/21/2011

Every game is supposed to be competitive. There is never a reason or excuse for one team to be decimated in all facets of the game. It makes for bad football and a wasted week if the teams are heavily weighed in one side’s favor.
So, with that in mind, every year, our game, with a history we are proud and aware of, a history the pre-dates every one of us, plays a Vets/Rookies game. And that game is different from all other games because the concept dictates that older guys play against younger guys. But it is still supposed to be a competitive game. The older guys are supposed to have “experience,” “savvy,” and a “toughness” that the younger guys are supposed to make up for in speed, agility, and endurance. It’s supposed to be a game, not just an opportunity to brag and boast and threaten. But as it happens nearly every time we do it, the Rooks literally run away with the game. Yesterday it was worse than usual, a 7-0 tidal wave drowning the Vets in their slothful ineptitude. So be it. Bad game. Bad game plan. We want a rematch.
I know the gravity of yesterday’s game will be lost on most people who witnessed it. For the Rooks, I’d guess it was a laugher, a breeze where youth (and Davies) dominated without much effort. For the Vets, it was frustrating and embarrassing, and impossible, with the jokes and excuses about being slow and slowing down already in tact (Steveo our one kid who played hard and is the exception). My hope is that next year, the Vets make it their business to be in shape to compete. Spring and summer are coming up. Work hard. Get Strong. Get Fast. It can be done.
For me, yesterday was probably the most memorable and inspiring game I’ve played in since the Thanksgiving game a few years ago in the tsunami where we had 14 guys playing in pond-size puddles and Yakir contracted a foot disease.
Since he’s very modest (HA!) I don’t want to talk about Jason “Sky” Kayson Katzenstein too much, but I’ll use this recap to give a history of our game. We haven’t done this in a while.
After I got married at 22 in June of 2000, I realized that it was time to start becoming a man. That first winter, four of us who lived in Kew Gardens Hills took a football to our local park in search of a football game. In the end, it was only the four of us. Those four were Jason, me, Jeremy Fine, and Charlie Harary. We played a 2 on 2. Now Jason was an accomplished quarterback at the time. Two years earlier he was the MVP of the AFLI. We used to walk around in Israel and little charedi kids used to come up to him in awe, thinking of him the way we think of Tom Brady. I was so disinterested in sports that I didn’t even try out for the team, but Jay was an athlete.
We struggled through that season in Kew Gardens Hills, maybe getting a 4 on 4 a few times. That is when we played with Yakir Wachstock who would become instrumental later.
By 2001-2002 we knew we would need a more established game if we were to keep playing. We were told that there was a game in Flushing Meadows park in Forrest Hills and some of the guys that had played with us occasionally played there (Yakir being one). So I remember our first day going down there. I think it was Me, Jeremy, and Jay. They had their game already set up and it looked so real to me. I mean, they had cones! We had been playing with trees and jackets as the markers. They had cones in the middle of the field that earned an offense a first down. We had been playing four completions was a first down. They had a line that rushed. We played four Mississippi dead. It was eye opening, at least for me, who never went to a single game in Israel. I don’t think they let us in that first game. I don’t think they were thrilled with us trying to crash their game. Well, we ended up taking over that game and carried it until yesterday when we played Vets/Rooks.
The guys we met that day were Avi Spira, Jay Stern, Brian Sigman, Rabin, B-sh, Kenny Feldhammer, Judah Miller and a few others who I don’t remember.
As we all have learned over the years, Jewball is all about numbers and willing players. When the winter sets in, it is easy to give up, and a player willing to brave the cold is a precious commodity. That is why Jay and I were valuable. We were up for coming out despite freezing temperatures. And Jay was a phenomenal quarterback. I was figuring out the sport, how to run, how to catch. By the next season, we had joined their game yet the struggle to get regular players continued. Each week, Jay and I would drive to the park hoping for a game. B-sh was always there. Yakir and Spira were always there. Hands even made an appearance or two back then before he became hardcore. But we are talking pre-email game organization. Everyone kind of knew that there was supposed to be a game, and you just showed up and hoped that eventually there would be 10 players. 10 players was a thrill. 12 players was a miracle. Problem was that even if we had a game, Jay was the best player by leaps and bounds so he’d win every week (Kind of like what Yoni would do from 2006-2010). Very often we would have odd numbers (like 7) and Jay would play official QB.
Once a bunch of us moved to the Five Towns, Rabin took over as Commish for a year and we continued to drive in to the old park in Queens Sunday morning’s hoping for a game. That was a good season. We were strong with Joey, Stryker, Kirschner, Doggy, Jesselson, and Yoni joining the game. By 2005 we decided to move the game to the 5 Towns and created an email list. We started at the field we are playing on now and had a renaissance in 2006 gaining Klink, BD, Jesus, Ike, Uri, Yirmi, Dorothy, Meir and that class. Guys like Evan and Konig started coming in 2007 allowing us to have our first ever doubleheaders. Three years later, we needed another shot in the arm and Mo and B-sh were there to save us by bringing down Zez, Daniel, Ungar, Steveo, Raskin, Akiva and some much needed youth. And this year, we were reborn again with Evan introducing us to Socks who brought down world-beater’s like Mighty and Josh (as well some good weather gamers like brothers Ari and Dan).
And that is where we are now. The future of this game is bright after wondering two years ago if we would ever have a good game again. For me to see Jay throw passes to Mighty, Socks, Josh, and these kids who will certainly go on playing after some of us Vets hang up our cleats is a real blessing. Not everyone gets to play that long.
In the game, Jay shook off some rust and then did what he does. Threw some slingshot passes to his array of money receivers.
On the other side, the Vets had problems. A stockade of quarterbacks, a lineman, a few TE types, and over the hill receivers made up the team. Vets needed to perfect…and have time to run plays. Munchie decided that the Vets weren’t going to have a second of peace. His relentless pressure took away any chance of the Vets putting together a drive. Even when a good pass was thrown, the Vets looked horrible in the pass catching arena. Balls were flat out dropped left and right. Add to that 4 picks by 3 different Veteran QBs, and it was the debacle the Vets feared, but knew was entirely possible.
TOP PLAYS: Jay to Josh 35 yards over Steveo for the score. Jay to Socks 25 yards over Evan for the TD. Jordan allowing the Josh TD and failing to pull his flag after killing his team for poor flag pulling. Rabin the near behind the back catch. Munchie lunching on Vet QB all day. Jesus diving sack. Jay turning the back the clock and rushing for yards, splitting the defense. Evan knocking down three balls on the same series in the endzone.

Jewball has two definitions. One is a standard MVP trophy, the other is an award given to a player who represents what it means to be a Jewball player. Someone who overcomes obstacles, plays above and beyond expectations, and essentially erases the stereotype of the soft Jewish athlete. So we have the MVP for the Rookies and that was Munchie because no one changed the course of the game more than Munch. The Vets could not get off two plays in a row. His attack was demoralizing. The Rooks could have won 1-0 with Munch out there. He is a terminator at D line.
The Jewball Award goes to J Sky K, my football brother who has been there with me since day one. An honor to have played with him one more time and hopefully we get in a few more before this ride ends. He drove in from Passaic, NJ and threw a football pretty damn well for someone who hasn’t played in three years.

We got two more weeks left of this monumental season. Let me know about Week 19.

J

2/28/2011

Just as a quick follow-up from last week, Jay and I are expecting. Mazal Tov!

So from a high scoring affair (well, at least on one side) to a drought. Week 18 found one team racking up the receptions, yards, and points, and one week later the endzone seemed like an unreachable speck on the horizon.

In the battle of slightly rusty QBs, Evan and White (Josh, Socks, B-sh, Jordan, Perry, Mo, and BD) seemed to have the early edge. They moved the ball well initially, only finding the Red Zone to be a Bermuda Triangle of competence. Between sacks and dropped balls, White was shooting itself in the foot at every turn.

On the other side of the ball was Rabin, looking for a comeback and an argument to remain relevant as a QB in this league. He was equipped with the most dynamic receiver in the game – Mighty (though, this guy Josh may have better hands – and he also always wears green sweatpants, which should translate into a Jewball name eventually) and the most dynamic pass rusher – Munch. Blue was rounded out with Hands, Jesus, Diego, Rada, and Steveo.

Rabin recalled his accuracy woes of old, at one point throwing the ball directly into the ground three feet away off the snap as if he were trying to stop the clock. But he wasn’t. The ball was wide or long on most attempts and the frustration for Blue was evident.

Meanwhile, Evan had to contend with Munch and Jesus pursuing him on every set. Evan, an elusive QB in the backfield, was not his elusive self, getting wrapped up and sacked numerous time while he ran for his life behind scrimmage. The few times he did turn the corner to gain positive yards, he exhibited an impressive burst of speed to pick up a few first downs, but the sacks were negating yards just as often.

Rabin’s troubles continued as Mighty tried his damndest to create something from nothing on screens and dumps, but B-sh was particularly effective at setting up the roadblock and robbing Mighty of his typical huge gains that shame entire defenses.

Blue actually had very few drops. It was the lack of execution on plays that doomed their offense. Blue actually ran a very sharp play from its own ten yard line where Rabin rolled right as if to run with Mighty as lead blocker. With Mighty’s back still to Rabin, Rabin slipped a pass to Mighty’s right and Mighty turned for it a milisecond too late and it bounced off his hands. Socks made a great fingertip interception for the killer turnover, and would have gone in for an easy TD had Mighty not incredibly pulled the flag while diving in the opposite direction. Mighty saved a White TD because White failed to convert for points, but had Blue made that play, with the defense converging on Rabin, and with all the momentum, that could have been a Mighty 90 yard score. But Blue seemed to miss opportunities all day, except for one which we will get to soon.

Evan meanwhile was getting killed by dropped balls. A couple by Perry, and a possible TD by Jordan at the 7 yard line prevented Evan from having the day he should have had and the W. White did not look good, but they are the ones that blew this game. Blue was lucky to tie.

White scored their one TD early when Evan dropped in a corner endzone pass to Josh that mighty tipped and Josh dove for and caught with his back on the turf. Blue played to tie all game and with twenty minutes left and Rabin looking lost, the likelihood of scoring was minimal. But Steveo would make a play and his speed would carry Blue to moderate respectability. A simple crossing pattern and strike to Steveo at the 20 allowed Steveo to catch the ball in stride and find daylight. 70 yards later he was finally taken down (yes, we’ll talk about tackling as well) by Socks. Blue had a pulse. Rabin then took the ball, looked left and ran to the right of the line directly for the tie, but his flag was pulled at the 3. On 4th and goal, he found Mighty and the game was tied.

Each team had a chance to score to see if a decision was in the cards. Evan hit Josh on the left sideline and Josh made a SPECTACULAR catch and kept his feet in to bring White thirty yards from the lead, but that drive would stall in the red zone like so many others.

On their possession, Blue would equally fail to grab the game by the throat. White was allowed a final chance to scratch out a victory but it only allowed Munch and Jesus to torment Evan a few more times and rack up a few more sacks.

In the end, a kind of embarrassing day for Jewball with both teams looking not ready for prime time. Hopefully we can correct that next week in our final official game of the season until next Fall.

We are aiming for a Yoni and Jay rematch, but this time with even teams. Should be great. I’m looking for 7 players to round each team, that means 14 of you…and since I plan on playing so that means 13 of you. I think the weather will be very accomodating so let’s try to get an 8:00 game in as well so that everyone can at least play one game.

So 8:00-9:30 and then 9:30-11:30.

The Jay v. Yoni games is the 9:30.

Let me know which game you want (or both).

Back to this past week:

TOP Plays: Evan with the underhand (I mean sidearm) release, Rada with the opening drive pick, Evan inexplicably telling his team in the defensive huddle that he wanted to go to a zonah (although he may have said zone)

Jewball goes to….no one, because it was a tie.

Rules: Two rule issues came up and we need to clarify

1.) Thank G-d this was not an injury plagued season. We had some but it was nothing like the heartbreaks of last year. I’d like to keep it that way as much as possible. Be careful on how you take someone down. We are a flag game. We do allow some things that most flag games do not. You are allowed to wrap a guy up to pull his flag, however, going for the flag is supposed to at least resemble your intention. The only time you are allowed to push or grab and throw someone is to move them from in bounds to out of bounds if they are running up/down the sideline. You are never allowed to launch yourself at someone to stop them. We can’t have that. Mainly because the guy carrying the ball doesn’t expect it and didn’t sign up for it. As we said yesterday: We want it physical. This is not a soft game inherently and we don’t play it soft. Hit, block, push, trample. No launching.

2.) Dead linemen are dead regardless of what happens in the play. They are dead and cannot be incorporated into the offense to move the ball. I really don’t know what the NFL rule would be, but our rule is that they are dead from start to finish until they rotate back out. One simple reason is because the defender is not supposed to take them. The line is a battle at the line to get the QB and protect the QB. That is it. The D linemen should not have to worry about playing defense on a potential receiver. He just should be able to rush.

That’s it. We close this baby out in 6 days.

Let me know early, late, or both,

3/7/2011

(Week 20 and Season Recap)

A sad day for this commissioner on many levels. The most visceral ache, my performance as both player and commissioner yesterday. The rain made me look bad. The chaos of a 10 on 10 made me look even worse. We don’t need to get into my single-handedly losing the game for my team in about 5 different ways.

With the rain….I gotta switch to Accuweather. With the numbers, it’s just hard to turn anyone away in a Week 20 game when the six month offseason can feel like an eternity. And I think the fact that everyone who played yesterday was either a stolid vet or a devoted rookie really speaks about the present and future of this game we at some point began calling Jewball. For those of you who have stuck with us for a while, and for those who have come back after long absences, for the first time in maybe three years, there is no question about our 2011-2012 season. It is happening. It is going to be a monster. Last year we couldn’t get a game in January or February and barely got together 7 players for a Chabad game in March. Yesterday, we closed out a full, robust, tremendous 20 Game (plus two Bowl games) season with 24 people playing football between 8:00 and 11:15. We have a field that for some reason no one is challenging us for. A field that is like our wildest dreams come true. I mean, it is as if the pick-up football gods have watched us all these years and finally declared, “My sons, you have come out in ice, and snow, and sleet, and rain. You have braved winds that felt like lashes on your raw skin. You have sustained broken bones, torn muscles, and bled on the ground for us countless times. You have exhibited your love of the game like no other group of weekend warriors playing it. And for that, we give you this field. It is yours. Make us proud.” And you know we damn well will try.

We have been given many gifts this season, but of course there are no football gods. I do have to (because it is true and because season ending emails are even cheesier than the rest) thank God for giving me and us this game and all the people we’ve encountered because of it. In a vaccum, it is a game where one side tries to move a ball and the other side tries to prevent the ball from moving. But as we all know, it is much more than that.

It is a contanst beacon on the horizon of our week, a ray of light in our often black and white existences. It is the best reason to stay strong, and lean, and quick, and not “let ourselves go” as many do after marriage or when we grow a metabolism. It is the challenge we place upon ourselves with the result right before us to either grab or squander. It is the smile we get from being soar in the office and knowing that the pain was our choice. Our choice to do something that most people don’t bother to do. A choice to suit and lace up and get out into the elements and say, “F U normal, typical, expected behavior for husbands, fathers, yes, even orthodox Jews! We are not done! We are not stopping! You, you of the rules and standards for my age and social category, you are not taking this game from me without a fight. I will be here until I cannot perform at all anymore.” And that’s the physical side of it.

No one wants to talk emotional along with football, but I will for one minute. I don’t know how it happens, but Jewball draws the best people. Yes, occasionally we need to shed someone who doesn’t get it, but we seem to always find the perfect mix of talent, almost bizarre loyalty to the game, intensity, passion, and heart, but, more importantly, just incredible people. And, really, that’s why Jewball works. Sure, I love football and maybe I’d play it weekly even with a bunch of a-holes, but, and I can’t start naming names because I wouldn’t know where to stop, it’s about seeing the guys and dealing with the personalities amid the lunacy and adversity of the game. We fight on the field, and if you are not on my team, I wish you the worst for 2 hours…but I love seeing the guys. Who wouldn’t? Like I said, we have the best people. And for those who are new, I hope you already realized it, but your Jewball brothers are more than just Sunday morning disposable parts. You have joined something special. We have your back. Hopefully you won’t need us for your sake, but if you do, we have your back.

So, I know Mo – who is undoubtedly the real reason we are still standing and the very definition of a Jewballer and decent – wanted everyone yesterday to thank me. Do not. I am not being saintly here. I run this game, in a way, selfishly. Emails about Jewball are not a burden. The season pays me back for any time expended a thousand times over. I thank all of you. I’m 33. I don’t know how that happened, but it did. I’ve played Jewball for ten years. No one who knows me for the first 22 years of my life would ever imagine that I would ever play a single game of football, let alone organize a game and compete with actual athletes. I am so rewarded by what we have accomplished together.

Let’s take the next six months to get in the best shape of our lives. Every one of us can do that with hard work. Whether I do it or not, my goal is to come back in September and be able to push Munch around. What’s yours?

To the games:

8:00 (courtesy of Rabin)

The day got off to an auspicious start when Rabin got out of his car by the field and saw Socks walking out of the woods, somewhere between hungover and still drunk, and barefoot , ready to play football @ 8 am! I’m not kidding, it’s all true!

Rabin and Evan matched up one more time to finish the season. Evan’s team stalled after starting with the ball and Rabin’s team executed a pretty play action pass to Ankle Socks ( he’s Socks’ brother and shorter) who made a nice though probably unnecessary left handed grab and took it to the 18 yd line before being tackled. Next play Rabin tosses to a hobbled Zez who rolls left and finds a slanting Rabin in the end zone for a TD. 1-0. Both teams stalled for a little while till Evan found Joshy at midfield. Problem is he was on Rabin’s team and took it back to the house with a full escort of his teammates who then tackled him and almost knocked him out of the game. Evan then found Mighty for a short pass which he dropped! Drawing laughter and jeers from the other team, but one thing we should have learnt this season is that u don’t piss off the Mighty man! On the next play he catches the short pass and makes everyone miss on his way to the end zone. 2-1. Rabin stalled and Evan had a chance to tie the game, but threw an errant pass which was picked off by Rabin and returned to the 4 yd line. Rabin then returns the favor from earlier by finding Zez in the end zone, though Evan should have picked it off, 3-1. Mighty added another long run after a nice lateral from Evan to make the final score respectable @ 3-2, but the season for the early game ended how it should: with Rabin defeating Evan!! Jewball to Jesus who was bringing ferocious pressure all day and had a bunch of sacks!

Game 1 ended with a Rabin victory and a slight drizzle coming down. Two hours later it was raining steadily and had been for some time.

Much like in Game 1, Game 2 was a rematch, and much like in Game 1, the loser in the first meeting came out on top. Week 18 gave us the Vets Rookies game and pitted two veteran Miami QBs with a lot of pride and legendary arms against each other. JK and Yoni have thrown more games each as Jewball QBs than Evan, Zez, Meir, and Rabin combined (just kidding, Rabin, you might have the record by now considering your consistency and the doubleheaders).

Although, as you all know from my prior emails, I am a big JK fan, and he drove in from NJ and I wanted him to win (and, yeah, I was on his team), Yoni was the better QB on the field yesterday. He was relaxed, he was accurate, he was sharp, and he didn’t seem to be rattled by the rotation, the amount of players he had to deal with, or the rain. That is not to say that JK lost the game for his team (I think I own that). Both he and Yoni were intercepted, but Yoni was commanding and fearless yesterday and that made the difference.

The game began with growing pains as both teams struggled to figure out how to maneuver with so many players on the field. Matters were made more complicated and stagnant as both teams found it tough to hold onto the ball. Eventually, the combination of a very on Yoni with Mighty’s speed and Munch’s pass rush combined to put JK’s crew in a hole 3-0. But everyone contributed for Yoni’s crew. Munch, BD, and Steveo picked up big yards and 1st downs. Zez seemed to get open all day despite not being able to walk, let alone run. Yoni’s team was just very tough, and they bullied the opposition. This email is long enough without doing a play by play, but Mighty, Socks, and Zez caught TD passes, Yoni ran one in on a P6 (yes, my AWFUL there) and in a losing effort, Josh made dazzling moves and got free for a score, and Ari ended the season with a TD. JK and co. lose to Yoni 4-2.

Final Jewball of the season to Yoni for the TD passes and score.

Look for my next email sometime around the High Holys.

PS – I imagine that some of you will try to get games after this one. Go right ahead. That is not any sort of heresy or violation of any Jewball code. Munch was talking about Sunday morning games of Ultimate in the summer and I am so down with that so maybe we can do that next if enough people play. As for more football, if Mo or Rabin or someone else sends out emails to play more football, play on. But I’m off till May and softball.

10/17/2011

Every season needs to find it’s rhythm and it’s tough to say when that will happen. Last year we didn’t have Mighty, Socks, and Josh come on till midway and only when we were comfortable on the turf field and each week was a fierce showdown did the 2010 Jewball season gets its flavor.

This year, we started off on a somewhat windy, but sunny day and on a field that we haven’t played on in a while. It’s a good field, but it’s not the turf. Who knows when we will get the turf field back or how long we’ll be able to stay at Barrett? That uncertainty alone gave Week 1 a strange feel. Unfortunately, at this point, we can’t control where we play. The only thing we can master is how we play.

Week 1 brought out Vets and Rookies, Young and Old, Quarterbacks and Rabin (sorry, bro, it’s a crowd-pleaser). Klink was back from injury and rehab. B-sh was on the sideline (literally), missing the first Week 1 in 8 or 9 years. Show was there using tzi-tzis and payis to help the defense grab on to something. Yoni against Rabin was the matchup and it has become sort of a classic Jewball rivalry, though I’m sure Yoni doesn’t see it that way.

Yoni lead the Blue team with his typical been-there-done-that Miami cool and it really was an easy task for him. Rabin started off the game missing recievers and throwing picks. With Yoni throwing on the mark to a range of recievers (and some of them doing him no favors), he eventually found a very reliable target in Evan who made his catches and fought off defenders to score 3 TDs on the day (I would be remiss if I did not say that my awful defense was a factor, not to slight him, but to criticize myself). After a quick Blue score and a pick 6 for Evan, Rabin and White were in a 2-0 hole early.

White then cut the lead in half after a drive that consisted of a Mighty run, followed by a Jordan run, and capped by a perfectly placed loft to BD. Yoni answered right back with a 30 yard pass to Evan followed by a 40 yard run by the man in the Nicks jersey which resulted in a Big Blue score to take make it 3-1. Blue seemed to be catching all the breaks as even a tipped ball by Mighty wound up in Aboody’s hands which he ran to the house making it 4-1.

On the next drive, some magic began to happen for White which foretold of things to come. A deep out to Jordan was tipped by Aboody but landed in Jordan’s arms while he was lying on the ground. 2 plays later, Rabin hit Jordan with a missile on a curl in the endzone to make it 4-2.

Yoni again responded, this time with a deep bomb and great over the shoulder catch by Show. From the 10, Yoni then hit Socks on a cross to make it 5-2 with only a half hour to go. A conservative game plan would have surely kept the win for Blue, but Yoni is a gunslinger and for better or worse, he will always go down slinging. Yesterday, it was for worse.

After a 3 and out by White, Yoni was picked by Steveo at White’s 40 yard line and Steveo made one move to get past Yoni and then raced down the sideline to make it closer by a score of 5-3. Blue then took over, and on 2nd down, tried a trick play by flipping back to Meir and hitting Show over the middle. A well executed play, however unecessary, resulted in the ball glancing off the fingertips of Show and landing in Jordan’s awaiting grasp. Jordan runs the 30 yards to make the game even closer (5-4) with ten minutes to go.

White, motivated by the turn of events, became very aggressive and bonded as a team. Blue, on the opposite end of the vibe, were imploding. Steveo, Mo, and Klink were relentless in batting down balls and it was soon Rabin with the ball and a team eyeing a miracle comeback. Mighty was supposed to be dead line, but Jordan gave it up in deference to Mighty’s capabilities with the ball and big plays. BD then extended the same courtesy to Jordan. Such sportsmanship is a good sign in the huddle. On 1st down, Jordan and Mighty collided – likely making BD regret his decision – and no progress was made. On 2nd down, Rabin called a cross and it worked and Jordan was open and in motion with the defender beat as the ball hit him square in the chest and he dropped it. All seemed lost. But when you have a Mighty in your huddle….there is always hope. At the 5 Rabin dumps the ball to Mighty and the White team just hopes for magic. And it happend. Mighty, spins, stops, twists, and charges 45 yards to midfield. It is 4th and 5 with the game in the balance. Rabin, mercifully, calls Jordan’s number and the result is a perect TD pass on the out pattern. Game is tied.

Yoni gets one more shot to win the game, but although Evan made some great grabs throughout the game, one final super-human attempt does not do enough and the ball falls to the grass. Klink puts a stamp on it with a gutty play defending Socks.

A very good game, but a tie is always somewhat deflating. No Jewball winner for a tie, but Evan had the best stats on the day (and therefore on the season). He would be our MVP right now. But it’s a long season.

I have been informed that Degel starts next week and some of our guys are playing. I know that Barret opens at 8 am and while it is not the turf field, it is pretty damn good. I also know that Barret will fill up with softballers later in the morning as the season progresses. We’ll shoot again for the 9:30-11:30 game at Barret next week, but I also would like to know what other times work for you. Do you like an 8am game? Better to go back to 9:45 to 11:15? Or some other schedule.

Let me know status for Week 2.

Stats are below as I remember them. PLEASE let me know what I missed (without lying).

PLAYER	GAMES	TD SCORED	TD THROWN	SACKS	PICKS	INJURY
Yoni	1		4
Evan	1	3			2	Head
Socks	1	1
Hands	1
Meir	1
Matt	1
Aboody	1	1				Back
Show	1					Ripped Tzi-tzis
Rabin	1		3		1
Mighty	1
Jordan	1	3			1
BD	1	1
Mo	1
Steveo	1	1			1
Klink	1

11/7/2011

At least in terms of fields being used, this season is mirroring last. We start on the good Barret field and play there until the softballers come around, which happened to have been yesterday. Then we play a few weeks on the obstacle course field where a sample play call can be, “go out five yards and cut left at the pitchers mound” or “fade to the back of the endzone and when you hit the power generator, stop” or even “Go up the sideline ten steps and then….HOLY $&$@! LOOK OUT FOR THAT SOFTBALL!!!!.” We’ll likely get our Thanksgiving game in on the turf over at Woodmere Middle, and hopefully soon after that permanently take that field until the end of February (since no one but us Jewballers play football in the dead of winter).

Although the baseball field at Barret is not the ideal place to play a game of football, the game still must be played, and with a sunny day and perfect football temperatures, it was a great atmosphere for our first 8 on 8 of the season. It was our biggest game yet, but with a similar roster to Weeks 1 and 2. Only some players were swapped between Yoni and Rabin.

If you recall, in Week 1 Yoni jumped out to the early lead before Rabin and his team came storming back to miraculously tie the game. Week 2 continued Week 1 and Yoni just went off as Rabin struggled in all phases. The result was 10 TD passes for Yoni and only 4 for Rabin (combined with 7 picks) going into this game.

Week 4 looked like it might be more of the same early as Yoni in Blue took the ball first and huddled up with Evan, Shrag, Jordan, Ben, BD, Hands, and Steveo. While that sounds like a pretty formidable team, it just goes to show what kind of talent is playing Jewball nowadays. Across the line was Rabin’s team in White made up of Mighty, Socks, Elisha, Show, Akiva, Jesus, and Matt. On the second play of the game, Akiva gets in on Yoni and swats the QB’s thumb as Yoni releases the ball. After a scary few minutes where Yoni seemed to be lost for the game, the man from Miami shows that despite his perfect tan and hairstyle, he is a tough and gritty player. So Yoni stayed in and fought through it, as did Socks who sustained a leg injury around the same time. But it seemed that Yoni healed first because on the next Blue possession, Jordan beat Socks to a spot on the out and Yoni put the ball on him. Jordan kicked it into the whatever version of 2nd gear he has left and took it to the house for a quick score.

For a while, it seemed like that score was the only point Blue would need to easily win. White’s offense was abysmal for most of the game. Rabin tried some first down dump passes to Mighty, but Evan was holding him to minimal yards. Beyond that, it was either Rabin failing to connect with receivers, or his receivers dropping or failing to make plays on some excellent passes. It just didn’t look like White was in synch and the frustration was clearly mounting. It certainly didn’t help when Yoni, playing defensive safety, lined up for a blitz on the line with White at the 1 and forced a defensive lineman to account for him, which gave Shrag a clear path to Rabin. The pressure forced Rabin to hurry a throw and Ben was right there to jump the route and P6 it in for his first Jewball pair of stats and thereby giving his team a 2-0 lead.

At this point, Rabin was given an ultimatum. Score a TD in the game or lose his status as a starting QB. Rabin listened, dismissed the comment, and responded, “Not only will I score a TD, but I’ll win the game.” Knowing Rabin, he believed it. But no one else on the field did.

Rabin calmly went to his old bag of tricks and set up a screen for Mighty…and Mighty broke free into space. Only a Jordan flat out dive for the flag at the 49 prevented a TD. On the next play, it was Mighty again on a pitch and Mighty picked up the first down and 10 more.

On 2nd and 30, Rabin was back to pass and Jordan had a clear path to him after allowing the TE Show to release. Even with tapping Rabin’s elbow on the release, the Persian Boomer Esiason got enough on the ball to hit Jesus at the 2. Jesus made a nice circle route after catching the ball and found the endzone as his flag was pulled and dropped at the 1. Without a ref, the TD would be tough to call, but perhaps a too arrogant Blue conceded the TD. Rabin’s starting job was saved, but even more than that, the Jesus TD and the prediction by Rabin would be a sign of things to come.

Before long the score was tied as Rabin and Socks started finding some common ground, and Elisha, who had dropped some early passes, began to haul in some well contested balls. On a short/deep cross between Mighty and Socks, Rabin floated one in beautifully to Socks who held on with Evan draped all over him. Although it was only Evan helping out on a blown coverage, the battle between Evan and Socks, both physical and psychological, became a major Week 4 plot-line. Soon after, with White poised to take a lead, Evan hoped to make the world right again by picking Rabin in the end zone after brawling for the ball with Socks and coming away with it.

With Blue sort of stunned by the turn of events and with 25 minutes left in the game, Yoni used Shrag and Ben to move the ball downfield a bit before hitting Evan on a short out from the 25. Evan rumbled then raced 60 yards with Show and Socks in pursuit. Socks finally caught up with the player almost wearing a Victor Cruz jersey and, though he could not get to the flags, he dragged Evan down at the 2. A play later, Yoni finds Hands on the cross and Blue goes up by 1 again.

Rabin, perhaps starting to feel his rhythm, hits Socks on a strike over the middle on the very next play and it becomes a foot race between Socks and Jordan the rest of the way. Mighty, lead blocking, made sure Jordan couldn’t get near his teammate, and Socks ran for 80 yards to re-tie the game. To be fair to Blue, although the pass and blocking were perfect and likely the score was inevitable, there was a call at scrimmage of a TE off sides. And although the TE was not off sides, the call was made and apparently defenders stopped playing. Regardless, the play stood. Lesson 1: Keep playing until play is dead. We can sort out calls later. Lesson 2: Only make calls regarding something that happens to you OR something that happens with your assignment.

Blue took the ball with ten minutes left in the game and on 3rd and long, Show picked Yoni and set up the final possession of the day.

After Elisha burst to the 10 yard line off a screen, Rabin iced the game with a jump ball to Socks that he wrestled from Evan for the improbable win. White 4, Blue 3.

Rabin actually threw the ball well in the second half, but there is one player on White whose name lights up the stat sheet. Socks had a big comeback after a slow start. Second MVP of the season for Socks and a league leading 7 TDs in 3 games played.

TOP PLAYS: BD framing the ball for Yoni to peg Rabin in the face Shrag recording the first to sack lunches of the season. I don’t know if it is the imprved O line play, but that line is where you really see what Jewball is like without B-sh and Akiva rushing. 2 sacks by Week 4. We used to easily put up a sack a game.

Let me know about next week,

12/5/2011

Yesterday was a day for turning points.

Although we couldn’t tell by the sun and 60 degree temps, it marked the beginning of our tough stretch of the season. December-February is when Jewballers gut it out when others stop playing. It also was our first game of the season on the incredible turf field behind Woodmere Middle. Goodbye cones, mud, goose crap, pitcher’s mounds, and locked gates. Hello line markers, goal posts, and as perfect a playing surface as you could hope for. Week 8 also gave us a change in the trophy standings. Up until yesterday, Socks, despite only playing 3 games, was our TD and MVP leader. Not anymore. To the game.

I do not need to describe the beauty that is the turf field or the weather yesterday. Needless to say, “Perfect” is not an exaggeration.

Evan returned and to play QB fro Blue when it seemed that we were running out of options. Elishah, who certainly has an arm and a brain lead White. On the enormous field, we play 2 first downs, both at the 35 yard markers.

Blue had one advantage going into the game in that the team was set. Schreiber and Luau played set line, Hands took on TE role, and Ben, Steveo, and Jordan played WRs. Elishah’s team rotated but it was a formidable lineup with Mighty, O, Jesus, BD, Aboody, and Diego.

As usual, both teams began with difficulty moving the ball. No team threw for a first down over the first six possessions. Elishah opened up the scoring with a QB run for 73 yards to give White the 1-0 lead. Evan put a few passes together but Blue was unsteady most of the game. Hands continued to redefine his nickname and Steveo was held in check despite his great numbers this season. Evan found his most reliable option in Ben – together wracking up some big yards and big plays, but all seemed to sputter in the red zone. Meanwhile, Elishah was finding the same consistency issue. For every great pass was one off the mark. After gaining the first thrown first down of the game with a ball to O, Elishah lined up at the 36 – 4th and 1 – to gain a second first down of the drive and put White in a great scoring shape. Blue botches the containment and Elishah breaks through, running the rest of the way for his second score of the game. White leads 2-0.

Evan struck back quickly, reading the defense well and getting off a bomb to Steveo who split his defender and the safety. Steveo runs it 65 yards after the catch to the house. Blue 2- White 1.

White hoped the TD was a momentum shift and continued to play tough. After a red zone stand where White stopped Blue 3 times from the 14 and took over, it looked like Blue might be in some trouble. Also at that time, Rabin and Show stop by to say hello…and play. The distraction proved costly and Mighty acts the game changer. Evan looks for Show on a 5 step out and Mighty jumps the route and easily cashes in a P6 to change the face of the game.

Even with a deep bomb to Ben that goes for 60 yards, Evan and White fail to score another point. Blue ices the game with a pick and a final TD to Diego.

After 3 weeks of bad football, Week 8 was an improvement. It wasn’t a great game, but catches were made and defense was played. It certainly was not embarrassing. We could still use a QB (Doggy…I saw you throwing yesterday….comeback time!).

Jewball is simple. Elishah steps into the position and scores 2, throws 1, and racks up a pair of sack lunches. With that he ties Socks for season MVP leader. And in other Socks news, Steveo takes over TD leader with 8 to Socks’ 7. Good on ya, mate.

I am in Israel Wednesday to Monday so besides not playing, I can’t do much by way of Team making unless we are all signed by Wednesday. Sign up with me for now. We’ll see where we are at Wednesday and decide. I have a new football and the gear. I’ll drop off by Rabin before I leave.

Last but not least, Klink invites you all to his engagement party this coming sunday. 7pm-10pm – 360 Coolidge Street in West Hempstead. Stop by for a few minutes and wish him a Mazal Tov. He is a good man and a Jewball vet.

12/9/2011

Once in a while I take a step back and think about how awesome it has been playing a sport competitively that I am also a fan of. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but you still need to focus on it once in a while. So many people spend most of their Sundays watching football, cheering for a team, hoping some players make plays while others mess up, demanding excellence, criticizing failure, ranting and raving for days if things don’t work out.

But if you play the game, yes, you do all of the above, but you do it with some perspective, with just a tad of credibility. You make your comments and express your feelings with some comprehension of what it is like to try and catch a ball with a defender draped on you and you moving as fast as you can on a bitter cold day. You know what it is like to brain cramp and miss a block or an easy tackle or just not run the play for no good reason. You know what it is like to drop a ball because the sun is in your eyes. And as I listen to the unforgiving sports radio callers killing someone like Hakeem Nix for blowing a sure TD, I can honestly say: I know he is supposed to catch that ball (and of course I would have caught it!) but I did play in that sun yesterday and it could be blinding. That is just but one example.

On a day like yesterday where our two NFL teams needed wins and made pathetic showings, it is good to have also played the same game that they performed in so miserably. It always makes me feel better when my pro-team does badly and I tell myself: I can’t control what they do on the field, but I can still control what I do.

Week 10 was a perfectly legit football game with really good players (thank you Degel for being almost over) out there under a sunny sky and with chilly temps (that, as always, disappear once the game begins) trying to do their best and make it happen.

Elishah in White commanded Steveo, Klein, Jordan, Ike, BD, and Balsam. Rabin in Blue lined up with Mighty, Socks, Schreiber, Klink, Hofstra, and Matt.

Although there was some contention after the game about the quality of the game – and we will get to that – thinking back, it really was a pretty decent game. Some nice plays on both sides of the ball were made. It was a vast improvement over the dreck of Weeks 5-7. Elishah has stepped into the role of QB very competently and, for two weeks in a row, he’s handed the up until then hot Rabin two losses.

The issue with Elishah is like the issue with Zez (is like the issue with Tebow): People don’t like (or maybe don’t respect) the running QB. Elishah has no problem taking off, and – perhaps unlike Rabin – he has the speed to break one open at any time. And he did that yesterday on two of the first three White possessions. Elishah had himself ran for two 50 plus yard TDs within the first twenty minutes of the game. To that I say, Blue needed to contain him with a safety (and/or prevent the run by not breaking the line, which they did eventually). So be it, it’s not the most exciting game when a QB runs, but the defense needs to identify a running QB and play him that way. No different in the NFL.

On the other side of the ball, Rabin was struggling getting his team going. A pick at White’s ten on his first possession foretold of things to come as it was not the best day for Boomer Persiason (3 picks). Elishah made it an even deeper hole for Blue as he hooked up with BD over the middle on a nifty TE playcall that BD expertly adjusted to, followed by a 35 yard out to Jordan, and then a misdirecting run play that Jordan punched in from the 2. Blue was up 3-0.

White did fight back. Rabin had some very pretty (in fact, superb) connections with Matt on the day; the first of which brought Blue to White’s 7. On 4th and goal, Socks may have been stopped at the one, but without unctrovertable video evidence to call the TD back, we relied on a not-so-innocent bystander to make the call. His arms went up (and he took some pictures). TD for Socks (welcome back) and TD for Blue. As momentum is its own reward, Elishah throws an ill-advised bomb over the middle that Klink picks (for his 2nd pick of the day). The pick is converted into points when the unstoppable Mighty zigs and zags open. 3-2. Now it’s a ball game.

But not really. Rabin nor Elishah could really do much afterward. 3-2 remains the score until the final 25 minutes when Klein picks Rabin and dashes to the house. That is all the cushion White needed with time winding down. Rabin and Blue could not cash in for the remainder of the game. On the final play in garbage time, Steveo (and these stats count and add up) P6s Rabin and scores to give us your final: 5-2.

TOP PLAYS: BD and Mighty tussling like pitbulls, Klink turning back the clock with some nice routes, though the speed was not there on a brilliant TD pass from Rabin that sailed juuuuusssst out of his reach, Elishah adding the jump to his elusive speed, Jordan knocking the pass away from Socks in the endzone that would have extended the game, Klein with the days only sack, Mighty doing his usual ankle breaking routine (and Steveo then doing a pretty uncanny imitation), Balsam giving PJs a run for his money in the outfit department, Steveo looking like an accountant, Mighty for atcually being one (and an engaged one at that – Mazal Tov!), Ike for becoming a regular again, Rabin for calling BD a dirty player with a serious face, Schreiber for being a HELL of a good sport and playing official D line…and being told not to rush (which is the only fun thing about playing D line!), and of course to our unofficial ref, the man in black – all I saw was a large black puffy coat with some red socks sticking out of the bottom….who could he have been?

We have MVPs and we have Jewballs, they are similar but not the same (meaning they are not always given out for the same reason, but they amount to the same thing for our purposes). Winner this week could well have been Schreiber because, while many around him (including me) were complaining about game quality, passes, touches, play calling, the guy is dutifully playing line BOTH WAYS and not even being allowed to rush…and he is doing it with a smile, and after the game he comes up to me and says thanks for letting me play. So, there you go. There is a Jewballer. Unfortunately, losers (sorry, losing teams) don’t get awards. But White actually had its own mensch/producer this week. The addition of Avi Klein to the 2011 campaign is going to a be a good one. Guy records the Jewball triple crown (Sack, Pick, Score) and does so quietly and business-like, holds Mighty to some short yard plays, and has great closing speed. He also scored the TD that put the game away. He gets the rare MVP in a debut game (yes, I know he played last year in a few).

Long email, but some more items left.

Next week we have Week 11 on Sunday – 9:30-11:15 followed by the Jesus Bowl on Monday 9:30-11:30.

Normal sign up rules apply. I also bring up that Elishah will not be around for either game…so…calling all QBs.

Doggy, Yoni, JK, Konig….this is the time to come back and help out. I am also open to trying out new QBs if they have some sort of resume (meaning they played QB in other leagues and did not go to Hoftsra, just kidding JaySparrow…or am I?). I presume Rabin’s retirement threat was just an in the moment crime of passion (and, truth was, he played an okay game….the picks were tough…but, to be fair, his team did not do a great job pulling flags) so he will be back, but with Elishah gone, Yoni out, and Meir still playing Degel, we need the arms.

Let me know about Sunday, Jesus Bowl, or both.

12/19/2011

Elishah in White commanded Steveo, Klein, Jordan, Ike, BD, and Balsam. Rabin in Blue lined up with Mighty, Socks, Schreiber, Klink, Hofstra, and Matt.

Long email, but some more items left.

Next week we have Week 11 on Sunday – 9:30-11:15 followed by the Jesus Bowl on Monday 9:30-11:30.

Normal sign up rules apply. I also bring up that Elishah will not be around for either game…so…calling all QBs.

Let me know about Sunday, Jesus Bowl, or both.

1/3/2012

My legs and brain are telling me that I played two football games over the past three days. My legs because they are heavy and my brain because I can’t decipher between what happened in WEEK 12 and what happened in the 2012 BOWL.

WEEK 12 stands out because Zez played with his kids cheering him on from the good seats, Doggy made a cameo and dominated, and Rabin ran fifteen yards with in his undies. 2012 Bowl featured a jogger joining the game, about 20 degrees colder temps, and Balsam showing up bravely in a Jets jersey half way through to bail us out. Sunday had the more fluid game. Monday had the tighter game. I played with Rabin both days and lost both.

This will be quick because of the short week and much to do:

WEEK 12 had the makings of great game, before the wheels came off. The new 9:00 start time worked out very well as a.) the field was open b.) the weather was amazing and c.) it just felt like a ton more football. Hopefully Evan and Crotoncorp. will have mercy on us and allow our game to continue unmolested (I know, Klink, you like being molested, but this is a different usage of the word).

For a change of pace, Rabin and Blue (Steveo, Luau, Schreiber, Jordan, BD, Klein, and Ari) score first on a very sweet over the shoulder bomb to Jordan for a 65 yard TD grab. Blue does the job holding Zez and White (Mighty, Chanan, Klink, Aboody, Ed, Landau, and, Matt) to 3 and out. But then Rabin does the unthinkable. Throws two consecutive picks from his own 5 yard line to set White up for a TD pass to Mighty and then the P6 to Zez. White takes the lead and does not give it back. It would become 3-1 after Doggy came in as a Zez replacement and drove the field flawlessly, highlighted by an drop in beaut to Chanan and a bomb to Mighty. Blue would get within one after Klein did his (at least once a game now) screen catch and defense evading 80 plus yard run to the promised land. But from there, Zez and co. piled on. It was made 4-2 on a laserbeam from Zez to Chanan that whizzed through Steveo’s grasp. Even with Klein and BD making red zone picks for Blue and preventing a true massacre, Blue still could not hold off the beat down. Zez throws cross his body and buries one in Klink’s chest for a 5th TD. And then in garbage time, Jordan runs one in for Blue, followed by Aboody scoring another for White. The final is 6-3, White on top. Somewhere in between, Rabin’s pants were ripped off, but, as his flag belt stayed on, he continued to run like a naked Forrest Gump off to find Jenny.

Mighty gets the Jewball for the breakout game we knew was coming (game tying, and cushion TDs, plus 2 picks). Zez was also a likely winner with the 5 TDS thrown and the 2 picks, but with his being picked 3 times, it was Mighty’s day.

Cold now, but weekend looks pretty good. I’m out this week (thought 2, but only this week). Socks has gear, Rabin has footballs. Sign up with me for WEEK 13 and I’ll make teams. See you in two weeks,

1/17/2012

Late email due to the MLK Day off. I only like to write really long emails that have nothing to do with work…at work. So, thanks to all for the B-day emails, etc. Much appreciate the support (and erotic undertones, Zez). Time passes by. So be it. Gotta keep going. When I was playing at 25 or whatever, I certainly didn’t think I’d ever actually be 34, let alone be playing football. But until the body says “you suck, you’re pathetic” I will keep playing (and note to Mighty and Klink: You guys saying it is hurtful, but it won’t make me quit).

Since I began by talking about myself, I’ll segue into the game by saying I did really play like an old man yesterday. Outside of sprinting the field for a called back TD, I dropped a sure pick and could cover Mighty for $#@!. Just what I needed before the big day.

But Week 14 actually ended up not being about any individual performances, good or bad. As it ended in a tie, there is not even a Jewball MVP handed out. Sunday was actually about showing up. And I know I may be getting sentimental because of the birthday, but Week 14 was one of those weeks that makes me proud to call myself a Jewballer.

When I pulled into the parking lot there were cars there. There were a few players on the field, but a few lingered in their cars, refusing to break from the radiator. It was colder in New York yesterday than in Green Bay (where the NY Giants took care of business – on to SF!).

As I was walking to the field I heard the security guard yelling out our players in the parking lot: “What, are you gonna do, play the game in your car? Get out there!” I smiled. But I knew our guys would be ready when the time came. Below freezing, rain, wind, snow, or sunshine – we play. BD told me later that the cop told him, “Dude, I play ice hockey and we would never play in this weather. You guys are crazy.”

I don’t know if we’re crazy, but we are committed to something (okay, Ike is committed after an email….but I tell you, even Ike showing up late because he knew we were waiting on him is awesome, because I’m guessing he didn’t want to be there). Jewballers don’t take a week off, even when the excuse is just begging you to use it.

And we didn’t just have a game yesterday when the windchill froze your fingers inside your gloves. We had a big game. We had 16 players out there working hard. Like I said: We do this – together – until the body can’t do it anymore.

As we all know from experience, weather only plays a part in the game for the ten minutes we take to gather and belt up and maybe the first ten minutes of the actual game. After that, the blood starts pumping….and the hats and layers and gloves start coming off (sometimes the pants come off, eh Rabin?…sometimes I wish the pants came off, eh Zez? NO! STOP!). After two hours, the sun is shining and you can’t believe anyone would define the temperature outside as cold.

Game was a pretty good game overall. The only freak problem with it was that, for some reason, we had three crucial plays take place where a flag was pulled either on or within one yard of a First Down or Touchdown. It is rare for that to happen once in a game…and yesterday it happened three times. So that means arguments, which always makes for an annoying, game slowing, momentum killing distraction. Add to that two plays called back for various infractions…and it wasn’t our smoothest of weeks in terms of game quality. I still thought it was all right.

Started off with Ike coming a bit late so a 7 on 7, but once Ike came after the first possession for each team, there was no score yet and we went 8s.

First score was indicative of the day. Jordan runs a cross and gets smacked in the hands by a Meir bullet pass. Ball ricochets off Jordan’s worthless fingertips and luckily lands in Elishah’s grasp about ten yards distant (and Elishah running in the opposite direction). Perfect assist I say. Heads up play by Elishah. 1 to 0, Packers on top (Packers were Luau, Meir, Rabin, Jordan, Elishah, Socks, Klink, and Matt). Evan and the Giants (Klein, BD, Mo, Mighty, Landau, Chanan, and Ike) were able to move the ball in a more conventional way, although because of the cold (I hope) there were some bad drops on both sides. Soon enough, Evan took off and ran one in to tie the score. Packers put up the next 2 points, one on an out and 60 yard run by Matt (who was, for the second game in row, being smacked around mercilessly…but the dude is tough…they don’t call him Box for nothing), and the other on a 30 yard endzone pass to….Plaxico Burress? No, it was Rabin showing the world that there is life after QBing.

Evan rallied his team by using his propensity to run to draw in defenders. He found Mighty on a jumpball with Jordan that Mighty won and used the space to run the rest of the way to make it a one point game. On the Giants’ final drive, after a controversial stop at the 1 yardline which would have given the game to the Packers, a redo allowed Evan to dash for the endzone from the 11 to end this one in a 3-3 tie.

TOP PLAYS: Luau doing his best B-sh imitation by coming down in shorts.

I’ll just go over some rules for the future of our game.

1.) TDs are two feet in the endzone. We don’t have pile-ons, and we don’t have an imaginary plane to break. The ball must be caught and brought into the endzone with the receiver having two feet down in the endzone.

2.) Here is where you may argue with me, but I remember this being the rule we made when Uri first convinced us to go flag…so we’ll live with this rule whether it makes sense to everyone or not: When a flag is pulled, we mark the spot of the ball where the player is standing who pulled the flag. The player who pulled the flag should stop in his tracks and hold the flag. He is the marker. The only exception to this rule is for 1st Downs and Touchdowns. For a 1st Down (the 35 yard line) or a TD (the endzone) we do not look to where the flag puller is standing, but to where the feet of the offensive player holding the ball is when his flag was pulled. So, for example, if O pulls Rabin’s flag while Rabin is at the 29 and O is at the 28, the ball is spotted at the 28 (even if Rabin’s pants are off and he is still running). However, if Rabin is at the 35 and a half and O pulls his flag at the 34 and three quarters, we call that a 1st down since Rabin has taken the ball and his feet over the 35.

Now, whether this is logical to you or not, it really doesn’t matter. The important thing is that it is uniform and all teams abide by it.

With all that said, let me know about WEEK 15.

1/23/2012

With such a typically fun but laughable snow/ice week of Jewball, it was good we got that big win in the evening. I mean, I don’t know what I would have done if the Nets lost to the Bobcats.

In truth, the Giants are really showing us how it’s done. Can’t wait for Week 16 Vets. v. Rooks and Super Bowl in 2 weeks. We desperately need a strong finsih to the season (and, historically speaking, we usually get one).

We did play an 8 on 8 yesterday, but took two big hits to the game Saturday. One was the snow that came down that turned to ice. The other was Meir canceling due to a work obligation. So the weather covered our field (and actually forced us to move to No. 6) and then Meir left a hole in our QB plans. So what do you do? You play the game anyway. Yehudah took Meir’s spot and we played in less than desirable field conditions.

The day started off in surreal fashion as the security guard at Woodmere Middle told us the field and lot were closed for sanding. As BD was parked alongside the cop car talking to the officer, Akiva rolls into the parking lot heading for the game and may have seen the cars stopped by the entrance too late. Dude skids about 50 yards and collides with BD’s ride. Thank God everyone is fine (although when I heard BD’s passenger, Diego, mention some neck pain, I made sure to give him my card). Bottom line: Akiva + Snow = Trouble. As Jewball brothers, if anyone has any advice or expertise in dealing with car accidents, insurance, or auto-repair, please let us know.

Like all snow games, it wasn’t a skills game exactly. Slipping, sliding, missed flags abounded. I hate to skim over a recap, but I want to get to something else today. Basically, Snow came down (I mean the man, not the precipitation) and he moved the ball with his team of Giants (Ben, Akiva, O, BD, Jordan, Elishah, and Matt) and a combination of Yehudah and Rabin could not move the ball for the 49ers (Diego, Mighty, Landau, Luau, Steveo, and Jesus). Simple as that. While Snow was slinging no look passes to cutting and open receivers, Yehudah was throwing ducks. When a ball was thrown well for the 9ers….Steveo dropped it. Can’t really say too much about a 4-0 beat down that had us ending the game early and switching QBs for a “controlled experiment” (which actually had Snow struggling and Rabin moving the ball). Anyway, although the game had some fun moments, it had zero competitive edge (because 9ers never seemed to have a shot).

Kind of tough to give out Jewball this week because with the exception of Jordan and Matt, everyone on the Giants made huge contributions. Snow showed what it means to be a QB always in control and what a gifted arm truly looks like (he also played an interesting safety, making some nice hits). Snow made players that other QBs never look at, like O and BD, look like Victor Cruz and Hakeem Nicks. O had 2 TDs on the day. BD had another 2, plus 2 picks. Ben and Elishah regularly got big yards.

Jewball is going to BD because he just seemed to be involved in everything for the Giants yesterday. If he wasn’t making a P6 that got called back, he was running 80 yards for a TD. If he wasn’t steam rolling over Mighty, he was knocking Luau unconscious on an up the gut TD run.

Watching Snow use his receivers (ALL his receivers), it reminded me of Yoni…and it reminded me of what we are missing right now. So here we go. 5 ways to make Jewball better in our last 5 games.

1.) QB PLAY – This is more of a wish than something that can be easily fixed. I’d love for us to have two veteran QBs who can make plays and run an offense come down regularly. Regardless of who is trying to play QB, open men have to be hit. There is nothing that kills a game more than when a team on offense does not believe that getting open will be rewarded with a catchable pass.

2.) OPEN DROPS – Needless to say, drops will always be part of the game (even in the NFL) but they make for some ugly football. We need to really come to the games focused up.

3.) RESPECTING CALLS – We don’t have refs so all we have is our own integrity. Arguing is completely worthless and a waste of time since there is no official review. If you take exception to call, just put it in your pocket. Move on. Sometimes a player might not understand a rule, so that call can be reversed once they are educated, but if it something substantive like a holding, or a flag block, or stepping out, or pass interference, we have no choice but to respect the call. Which brings me to…

4.) MAKE GOOD CALLS – Since you know we are forced to respect your call, be very very careful when you make one. Make sure it is clear and called early and immediately. Do your very best to call it loud and clear and exactly when the infraction happens so we don’t have someone score on a 95 yard TD run that gets called back. The general rule should be, don’t make the call. If you don’t know if you should make it or not, don’t make it. Let the game play out. Calls kill momentum. Try and play through everything. A call should really be a last resort on a really bad infraction that AFFECTS THE PLAY. PLEASE don’t call a hold at the line when there was no chance of the sack and the QB just threw a beautiful 40 yard pass (to me!).

5.) PLAY YOUR BEST POSITION – Listen, I know we are not the NFL and people are out there to have fun and get exercise, however, there is no reason that a team down 2 TDS and a half hour left in the game should have linemen going out and WRs playing line. I understand we have a rotation when no linemen are present, but when linemen are present, they should play line more often than not. It is not discrimination; it is good, smart, competitive football, which is our aim for the league. I know there are players that can do both at a high level, but there are some that serve better on the line while others serve better going out in crunch time. I leave it to the players to come down and take a position that best suits the team, especially in crunch time. If players refuse to make that call, I leave it to the QBs to move around their players in certain end of game situations to maximize the team’s ability to win.

Next week is a BYE WEEK for the league but a game can be played. I said I wouldn’t, but I’ll organize it. Sign up with me and l’ll post teams Friday.

WEEK 16 is 2/5 and it’ll be Vets v. Rooks VI. Vets have never won. We’ll go 20s v. 30s. This isn’t sign up time yet, but I do want to see what kind of game we are looking at. Please send me you decade affiliation if you are interested in playing.

2/6/2012

As Bill Belichick always says in somber post game press conferences: They made more plays than we did. We played a competitive game, but they made more plays.

This is the first VR game in a long time that I didn’t leave the game feeling old. True, Vets always lose, but usually it is a joke game where tired older players spend two hours trying to compete with players who have better legs, skills, and stamina. An embarrassing blow out is the result. Yesterday, the Vets lost but it had very little to do with age. We simply played badly and made some costly mistakes. We actually could have won that game. I mean it.

Vets Rooks is intended as an Achdus game, hence the no lock-out policy based on numbers. We want the old-timers coming out to give it one more go. We want to celebrate a game that has history stretching back to before anyone who is playing on the field. We inherited this game from others and hopefully one day (far down the line) we’ll pass it on. Of course the concept does not always result in visible achdus. If you watched the game, it probably just looked like a lot of yelling and cursing, but we’ll get to that later.

We’ll begin with the things that we can be proud of. I’m proud of the Vet team that came out for this game. I’m proud that my Vets – many of whom haven’t played this season – went home without injuries (psychological trauma not included). I’m proud that because of this game, guys in their 40’s competed with guys in their 20’s. I’m proud that Yoni, Zez, and B-sh came out to join in the spirit of the day and pay some tribute to a game that is bigger than any of us (and B-sh, Mr. Good Spirits, got pummeled for it…sorry, big man). And of course I’m proud of the Rooks who represent the present and future of Jewball. They did their job. They beat us.

But it wasn’t so cut and dry this year. The Vets had an advantage, or so it seemed. A pretty well configured zone defense (plus an extra man due to Klein’s lateness…rookie mistake thinking he could be in two places at once) and an opening drive O-line that included Mighty and Steveo gave the Vets a chance to at least feel good about themselves. Elishah was QBing for the Rooks and had not manned the position in a while so there was rust to shake off. Show knocked down a pass. Jordan stopped an Elishah scramble. Soon enough, it was an Evan pick and Vets ball at their 40, with Doggy returning to the QB role. And Doggy picked up right where he left off from his mid-season mid-game guest appearance. Before you could say, “Mighty wants his ba-ba” Doggy launched an insane rocket into the bright blue morning and Diego made the over the shoulder catch in the endzone to give the Rooks a surprising 1-0 lead.

It would not last very long. The Vet zone shut down the Rooks on their second and third possession, and even with Klein showing up to make it a very formidable Rook team of WRs, the Vets seemed to have things figured out. Elishah was prevented from his typical long runs by a no rush game plan. The blitz and line play was effective. Long passes were just not there with Klink, Evan, and Show playing back. But after the initial magic by Doggy on the opening drive, the Vets offense struggled….and did so for the rest of the game. Much of it had to do with a weak Vet O-line combined with a very strong Rook D-line, and at the same time Vet QBs (and there were four by the end of the game) just could not get anything going. The first of many cracks showed when Doggy was chased and harassed by a combination of Chanan and O that was nothing short of relentless. The Vet had no real match for them. Our QBs were running for their lives all game. The pressure resulted in some poor throws, the first of which was a Doggy P6 to Mighty at the Vet 10 yard line that tied the score.

Luckily, Elishah was till having trouble figuring out the zone. A play later, Jordan cut in front of a pass over the middle to Mighty and made a few people miss on the way to a score. 2-1 Vets. But the Vets were victims of their own anxieties and an ill-advised cross the field throw from Doggy resulted in another P6, this time to Steveo. 2-2.

Deutsch, a 46 year old QB who is uncommonly hard on himself, was brought in to see if the Vets would have any better luck with a new look. The result was a first down after a pass to Evan and a QB sneak, but nothing much after that.

Although there was very little actual offense on either side up until that point besides Doggy’s bomb to Diego, with about forty minutes to go, the Rooks took the lead on a series of blown coverage plays on the right side of the field. An out to Klein, a run by Elishah, and finally a 20 yard pass to Mighty followed by a thirty yard made it 3-2.

The Vets then buried themselves with two crucial mistakes. The first was a Deutsch thrown pick to Klein at the Vet 15 which was run back to the 9. Then, on 3rd down, some pressure on Elishah and his inability to run (because he was at the 8) forced a throw right at Diego’s chest…but since it appeared to the defense that Diego was the only one in the area and hence must be a Rook, Viv batted the ball down to prevent the TD….but instead a sure pick was prevented. On the next play, Klein finds a gap and catches one to give the Rooks a 4-2 lead with time expiring. Evan took a shot at QB as did Rabin, but neither could really do much against the pass rush…and the game was over anyway.

Just to maybe make Rabin feel old, Klink actually picked the ball and set up Rabin to at least put up another score. Rabin called a play and it was perfectly executed. Diego was wide open in the front-left of the endzone. Rabin throws a duck and we go home.

Jewball goes to Chanan, who really brings it all game. Great attitude and plays hard like it matters all day (to be fair, so did his battery mate, O, but Chana had the crazy stats). I think he had 6 sacks. It was the QB pressure that really made the difference in this game. Forced 3 picks that resulted in TDs.

And I want to speak quickly about attitude using Chanan as my ideal. Now, obviously getting insane and cursing like a beast over a football game is not necessary. Myself as captain and BD as captain clearly set a bad example. But, we don’t really mean it and we love all our Jewballers. None of this is personal. I personally love it when BD gets into such a rage that he can’t help laughing. So, I am not defending my poor attitude or language or anger (and luckily, I have the Mighty’s, Steveo’s, and Diego’s who keep me in check with witty critiques); HOWEVER, Vets v. Rooks is what I call a “challenge” game. It is not our standard pick up. There is something (whatever that means) on the line. So I try to come with some focus, with my game in a second gear. For a game like that, I don’t want to talk, or hear talk, or be friendly with the opposition, or get involved in the typical stupidity of other games. I just want to see what me and my Vets are capable of when we buckle down, concentrate, stay quiet, stay focused, and play the game. Chanan brought that same method to the Rooks…but without the outbursts.

Now, I ask you? What is so noble about not taking the game seriously? Where is the moral high ground in saying: Calm down, it’s just a game. What is the great value in: Hey, man, relax. There are always people who come to these games and act like putting it in the category of “it doesn’t really matter” is some grand logical imperative. I mean, I just don’t see it. Fine, we want to have a good time most weeks, but is it really that hard to take one or two weeks out of twenty and say: This week I come to put the game first. This week it is not about my banter and one liners and insatiable need to take over the huddle. This week I’m going to just go all game full steam, no distractions. Why must every game be for “fun”? I just don’t see why someone who comes down to play a sport with a laissez faire attitude is the principled superior to the one who comes down with an intensity. Maybe someone can explain that one to me. And, as my final comment on the subject – to those who want us intense folk to calm down….if you really want us to relax…just play the game. You will not here a peep out of us.

We have 4 weeks left. Since this game was so close, I’d like to play it again in WEEK 18 (two Sundays). Vets/Rooks rematch. We’ve done it before. This time, I’m capping the roster at 16 (first 8 Rooks, first 8 Vets). For now, sign up for WEEK 17. We may have a special guest QB as Jay Sky Kayson mentioned that he might be coming down.

I usually save this for the last RECAP of the season, but I think I was particularly difficult on Sunday. I apologize to Diego and Klink on my team and Klein on the other team for my being a jerk. Needless to say, I don’t mean it. It’s all in the spirit of the game.

Let me know about WEEK 17,

2/21/2012

With three weeks left in the Jewball season, and coming off a great WEEK 17, WEEK 18 looked promising. But the Katzensanity did not last, as his rival QB pulled out to play (and lose!) his Croton match-up and we also lost Nox for the same reason. So be it. We like talent and welcome it back if can be relied upon. As for Luau who simply did not show without notice…well, that’s weak. Luckily, we have a deep bench and Ben got Juda to replace him about a half hour into the game (thanks very much Juda…honorary Jewball for you).

So the game was already on shaky ground as JK matched up against Meir instead of Snow and the WHITE team with a man on the sideline.

Meir took the ball and essentially looked unstoppable on an 85 yard drive. His speed receivers of Ben, Sass, Steveo, and Rooks (a potential Jewball savior if he can become a regular QB) were too much to cover for JK, Mighty, Socks, Shlomo, and Elishah. BD and Landau held the line for WHITE while Jesus and Rabin rushed Meir. Using mainly Steveo on the out, WHITE easily ate up chunks of turf at a time. Then, in the red zone, with 2 shots to go up 1 score on a team that needed no help, we have….the TURNING POINT OF THE GAME. I love Meir and he is a serious and intense QB who has a great arm and takes control of the huddle, but the next three possessions were devastating. First, Jesus and Rabin get through and Jesus chases Meir 20 yards back before sacking him at the 30. BLUE failed to score on that great looking opening drive. JK proceeded to take his team down field using some keepers and a friggin gorgeous fourth and long 30 yard pass to Shlomo between two defenders, which set up a score for Socks. BLUE then buried itself. From the 5, Meir threw a P6 to Mighty (2-0), got the ball back, and threw a P6 to JK (3-0). There was about an hour and 20 minutes left in the game.

Meir did bring his team back on the next possession, using Ben and Rooks to get back to the red zone. This time Meir planted his feet and zipped one in to Ben to make it 3-1. But JK with the ball and the receivers at his disposal was not about to give up a 3 TD lead. He soon lasers one in to Jordan on the button hook and it was off to the races (4-1). A while later, Meir got injured while trying to run down JK, and Mighty added one for WHITE late. Game 1 of 2 had a 5-1 final.

Game 2 was a bit better, but a Game 2 is only played because Game 1 was out of hand so….it never has the same tension as a good two hour game. In Game 2, Rooks took over the huddle and was as in control of his offense as I’ve ever seen. Very precise and particular. I like that in a QB. His arm was talented as well. Plenty of zip on the ball. He moved his team down field using all his receivers, and eventually it was Sass with the score to make it 1-0 BLUE. The story of the day was drops and it happened way too often for anyone to feel good about yesterday. These two QBs throw with a healthy serving of mustard but that is no excuse to drop as many we did yesterday. Our problem before was that our QBs couldn’t get the WRs the ball….now that we have QBs who put the ball on us, our hands are unreliable. But even with all the drops, the day ended on a catch as Elishah hauled in a floater with two feet in the end zone. Game 2 ended in a tie.

Jewball goes to JK for throwing 4 on the day, plus the P6. Plus he and Sass are coming in from NJ to help our game have a memorable finish. I believe they will be back at least for one out of our final two games.

The soccer people started to emerge so we know the field is only ours for a few more weeks. We play 20 weeks and then it is adios until next fall. Let’s give everything we got these last 2 weeks.

And speaking of giving everything we got, the attached season stats show some very intriguing races going down to the wire. TD leader is now a three way tie between Socks, Jordan, and Steveo (with Mighty and Elishah right there). Picks leader is Mighty, with Elishah and Evan close behind. JK may break Yoni’s season record of 12 TDs in 3 weeks (JK now has 7). No one is going to touch Rabin’s total TD’s or Picks against. There is also a to be determined Jewball 2011 MVP that will be named. Trophies will be given out on the field WEEK 20 for TD Leader, MVP, and Defensive Player of the Year.

WEEK 19 is 5 days away.

Let me know,

2/27/2012

I’m starting to get depressed.

I see another season slipping away. Although it feels, as usual, like it just started, think back to a season opener on the “good” side of Barret Park with Yoni and Rabin going head to head in a game that ended tied. Think about our pre-season game in scalding heat by that school up Mill where the grass was high and the bugs were biting. And now…there is 1 game left.

There were times this season that all seemed lost. We had a stretch there, didn’t we? But patience is a virtue and thanks to my boy Jay and his crew from NJ (and their incredible commitment to our game and to playing football in general) we have been given a season that will be remembered (by some) fondly. It is also a testament to you players that these guys keep coming in from NJ week after week. If the game was pitiful and the players were talentless asses, I don’t think anyone would make that trip. Clearly, we have the players to make for good football…and while first it was JK who came down (last season), now he brings Sass, and this week he brings Feder…and away we went.

Although I personally liked JK v. Snow as far as product (because I won), JK v. Feder was a great match up on paper. Feder roles in with the spandex leggings, the aviator shades, and the Tom Cruise grin, and you’re wondering what to expect. From JK, we know. The ability to pass and run and win.

Feder and WHITE took ball first with BD and Matt at the line and receiving was Rooks, Mighty, Elishah, and Swedish All Pro David “Viking” Adlerstein making his Jewball debut. At first it seemed like JK would have another easy win to add to his resume. Feder hit Mighty on the first positive play of the day, but after that it was a series of underthrows and overthrows to have WHITE go three and out.

JK and BLUE took over. Jordan and Juda manned the line. Ben, Sass, Steveo, and Rabin went out. BLUE had no problem scoring first as JK looked sharp and hit Steveo on a sideline stop and go. Steveo did the rest of the work himself, scoring his league leading (at the time) 12th TD of the season. Jordan celebrated the milestone enthusiastically because Jordan loved second place (at the time). So 1-0 BLUE. The TD allowed WHITE to start at the other end of the field, and although Jewball is an all weather game of no excuses, it was a huge factor that for the rest of the game WHITE went with the strong wind and BLUE fought against it. While Feder was regularly overthrowing his deep men, JK was underthrowing them. The first of these underthrows resulted in a BD pick at WHITE’s 2 yard line. Feder took advantage being that he had a very solid speed WR trio of Mighty, Rooks, and Elishah. Fair to admit, BLUE’s coverage could just not contain that speed. And Feder was smart. While he occasionally aired one out, he simply used the speed advantage and cut the field up with short crosses and slants. The result was a very efficient offense that had no big plays, but plenty of yards and plenty of scores. Before BLUE knew what hit it, Mighty had scored once, and Elishah twice to put BLUE in a 3-1 hole with only twenty minutes left (game started late due to our jersey guys getting pulled over).

Then the mistakes began. First off was Matt on a radiant drop in pass for a sure TD down the left sideline. That would have likely iced the game for WHITE. But, as often happens, mistakes lead to opportunities. On the next play, Sass provides some stellar coverage on Mighty and picks the ball. BLUE has hope. The drive is a good one, but Sass had 2 drops and JK was forced to run most of the 70 yards to set up the 3rd and goal from the 20. JK drops back and sends one toward the back left corner of the endzone. Rabin is there, with space between him and the far white line. Two feet are in. The ball floats perfectly into his chest. Rabin turns to secure the TD…and out comes the ball. It remains 3-1 and BLUE has squandered it’s best chance to get back in the game.

The game was capped by a Feder to Mighty sliding grab in the endzone as time expired after Feder drove his team 60 yards using an out to Rooks and a cross to Elishah. JK leaves the field with a rare loss. Feder takes MVP honors and gives his WHITE squad the 4-1 victory.

Next Sunday will be our final game of the season. I am obviously hoping for a JK v. Feder or Snow rematch. I think that is the right way to go out. JK said he is done, but I was hoping we could entice him back the old fashioned Jewish way….with money. As you may know, while driving in himself, Sass, and Feder, JK got a ticket. Since he has done us such a favor making these last few weeks of Jewball so worthwhile, I think it would not be too much if we each brought $10 next week to cover his ticket. The beauty of it is, he has to show up with Sass and Feder to collect the money. I already told him, if he comes back for WEEK 20, the ticket is paid for…so make me look good, people.

The trophies have been ordered. I changed it to 2 trophies (MVP and TD Leader). Couldn’t figure which way to go on Defensive Player of the Year. We have a sack leader in Chanan, but picks is Elishah and Mighty. Either way, I think Elishah, Mighty, and Steveo are the prime candidates to win the trophies. Also a good chance that one of them will, in a first, win both. Only WEEK 20 will tell….

On that note, sign up for Week 20. Let me know,

3/6/2012

WEEK 20 started early with BD and Jordan (two Vets with about one hundred Jewball games played together) arriving around 8:20 am to inhale the final breaths of a season. The morning was still gray and wet. It seemed as if the geese had finally discovered our field and left neat piles along the left sideline. Jordan and BD spent about a half hour talking Jewball, history, life, electric smokes, and kicking those piles of goose crap off the field. Then the players started filing in. Mighty with the maroonish hat and the hands buried deep in the pockets, stalking toward the field. The smile that says, I’m here to play, and if I do my thing no one here can stop me. Elishah rolled in around the same time. Quiet. Cool guy knit hat. Unshaven. Methodical stretches by the goal post. His time to mentally prepare for the business at hand. Then Matt wearing that NJ Devils hat and the Dover jersey that defines him. He brings Rooks from Queens. They didn’t know each other two weeks ago. Now they carpool. Why? Matt knows a Jewballer needs a ride. The response: Done. Turns out they both hale from the same part of the world (Cleveland/Pittsburgh – known in NCSY terms as Central East). Meir is early too. He knows he is not playing QB, his ideal position, but he’s a Jewballer. Writes me an email after I tell him Rooks is starting that says, “I just want to play.” That’s it. Just playing the game. Mo is seen from a distance at the same time. White hoodie and pajamas. What else? He couldn’t play as much as he wanted to this season. He has been a dedicated regular for two seasons (and saved our game two years ago when we needed badly to reload). But Mo knows what it means to make it for the Final game of the season. You don’t let such opportunities pass by so easily. A Final game is a Final game. Whatever the injuries or responsibilities at home, you come out and bid a season its proper farewell. Steveo shuffles in, always looking like he’s the coldest man on the planet. Davies, not as familiar a face as the others, comes around wearing his Jets jersey. He’s an old timer like myself. Played a lot of games in a lot of leagues. If you watch his game, he’ll do everything soundly and smart. Blocks, pulls flags, listens in the huddle. Knew we needed a 16th, so he said, “count me in.” Rabin, the Vet of all Vets comes, torn by the reality of the day. No one is happier to play Jewball. No one is sadder that it is over. Chanan pulls up, decked out in the Under Armour that shows you he’s in game shape. Shows you he means to play line with abandon and tear up the Defense and increase his league leading sack total. Ben and Juda arrive together. Roommates who have become regulars. Laconic style, but anyone who gets up before 9 am to play football in the winter after a night out is Jewball material of the highest order. Plenty of people they partied with the night before are sleeping past noon. Which brings us to Socks, who knows himself well. Knew he had Jewball the next day, but went out the night before, did his thing, set his clock for 8:55 for the 9 am game. Just needed to roll out of bed. With his athletic gifts and youth, playing at a high level does not need much prep. Then there is JK, truly a Jewball wonderkind. JK, Rabin, and I played 3 or 4 seasons in Queens starting in 2001 (Rabin had been there even earlier). Pitiful 5 on 5s or 4 on 4s or 3 on 3s with an official QB, with JK almost always winning (especially when he played official Q). No joke, we’ve done it. No emails to speak of. Just driving to a parking lot and hoping a handful of people care enough to join you. And that somehow lead all three of us, well into our 30’s now, playing on a professional caliber field, ten years later, competing with guys a decade younger. If you can’t tell already, my year end Recap is a sentimental affair. But, even looking back on what I’ve written already, I can’t help but saying thanks to God for giving us this season and our health to keep going.

And, this year, it was a season where we, for the first time, kept pretty accurate stats (I know, I know, the Ikomatic of 2008, but I think this was more comprehensive). So we know we had 53 players come down this season between October and March. We know that some old timers came down to get in a game or two (Ike, Yehudah, Viv, Show) and that some new faces made their debuts (Luau, Rooks, Sass). And every knew or old face brings something; the intangible that makes Jewball a phenomenon beyond a pick-up game or an AFLI type league. I don’t know exactly what Jewball is, but I know it’s about the people. We have the best people and our job is to take these people and make them into the best football players they can be. You cannot replicate a Jewball bond. It is its own strange and unique indestructible creation.

We did play a torrid final week of football once everyone arrived, abounding with storylines. JK v. Rooks turned out to be a killer match up. And with two trophies on the field and questions as to who would get them, there was what to play for.

Mighty and Steveo came into the day as TD leaders (12) so the head to head battle between them was something to watch. Meanwhile, Jordan, Socks, and Elishah were all present and right behind them with 11 scores.

Rooks and WHITE (Socks, Jordan, Steveo, Meir, Juda, Rabin, and Mo) started with the ball. Rooks had looked really good in his short stint at QB in WEEK 18 and throwing the ball in warm-ups, but this was his first real start. And it was not long before his quick strike method paid dividends. Steveo on the out and then Steveo with the spin move and then Steveo could …go….all…the…way. Steveo puts WHITE up 1-0 on the opening drive. Along with the points, Steveo takes his first step toward TD Leader.

JK and BLUE (BD, Matt, Elishah, Mighty, Ben, Chanan, and Davies) had a slow start and went 3 and out to begin the game, but with Rooks taking the ball from his own 5, he makes one of his very few mistakes on the day. A pick to Mighty that brought the ball to a first and goal from the 9. A play later, with Steveo trying to blanket Mighty and preserve his TD lead, JK scalds one in to Mighty on the run from right to left and we are all tied up at 1-1 (and TD Leader tied up at 13).

Then, the improbable happened. Rooks drove his team downfield, with short outs to Meir and Rabin, and then scored with an in and out to Jordan. That put WHITE up 2-1 and kind of put Jordan back in the TD conversation. The WHITE defense clamped down in response. JK, his confidence never low, went for it on 4th and 20 (after Ben dropped a clean 1st down on 3rd and long) and did not get it. Starting on BLUE’s 25 yard line, Rooks hits Mo on a well executed and called cross rout by Mo and Jordan. Mo is tackled at the 1. Next play, Rooks to Jordan on a sickeningly perfect strike in traffic over the middle. Now WHITE has a cushion and, amazingly, Jordan is tied for the TD Lead with the tie breaker over Mighty. JK gets the ball back, and goes for it again on 4th and long (this time after a Davies drop for a 1st down on 3rd and long). Doesn’t get it again. Rooks deep curl to Jordan…and score!!! 3rd TD of the game for the new TD Leader and things are looking bright for WHITE and Jordan (14 TDs on the season).

But JK and Mighty are not to be under-estimated and a 4-1 lead, while substantial, is not something to rely on; and not with an hour left in the game.

A cocky Jordan, tasting the glory of the TD Leader status that has always eluded him (and which was snatched from him in 2008 when Uri and Yoni hooked up 3 times in the final game of that season), claims that Mighty will be on lock down. Jordan has him. Might is done, Jordan says. Alas, Mightywas not done.

JK dumps one 5 yards to Mighty on 1st and forever, and…the game just turns. Mighty, not really doing much more than North-South running, seems to just keep going through people. Jordan misses his flag at the 15. Socks misses his flag at the 30. Jordan misses at the 35. Steveo misses at the 50. Jordan misses for the final time at the 15 and there you have it. A 90 yard score and a turning of the tides. 4-2 WHITE.

Chanan and BD pick up the pace at line and even with Rooks running a bit, the pressue is solid. Between the pressure and a baffling slew of drops by Steveo, WHITE does not score for the rest of the game. But BLUE does. First, it is an infuriating haul in of a tipped pass by Mighty that a.) should never have been caught and b.) should never have resulted in a TD. But Mighty goes vintage and proceeds to make every defensive player looks like a blithering fool a couple of times before taking the ball from sideline to to sideline and scoring. Mighty matches Jordan’s 3 TDs on the day to put himself exactly where he was to start the day – in the TD lead (but now, Steveo seems to be left in the dust). Now, the WHITE lead is only one.

Soon, it is JK finding his man again – this time Ben – at the 1 yard line – and Ben bullies his way over Socks to get in on the action. Score is tied at 4 apeice.

If that was not enough, a possession later, JK hits Mighty on a well flung ball on a cross that Mighty lunges for with one hand and controls. Jordan is again inept at pulling Mighty’s flag and once Mighty created some distance, it was over. BLUE takes the lead 5-4, and Mighty is comfortably in control of his destiny.

With 15 minutes left in the game and season, BLUE had the ball again with the feeling that if they scored, the game was over. The drive is again solid (JK and BD starting to get on the same page in terms of QB and WR after a day of intense arguing), bringing JK and and company down to WHITE’s red zone. And how apropos was it that BD, our only Iron Man this year, who did not miss a single second of Jewball, caught a pass at the 1 and put one foot in the end zone to score and end the season. But it was his coverage man, Rabin, grabbing on to him for dear life, holding him back from getting that second foot down. Rabin, his lanky frame, with one hand on BD’s jersey, pulling and stifling the momentum of a man that far outweighs him. It was a super human effort. It was illogical. Yet, there it was. It was Rabin, the QB turned team player, demanding that the season not end. He would not have the flame of our season die out on his watch. So BD was in fact stopped at the 1. The ineffable metaphor of that moment is the essence of Jewball if there is one.

And in fact the season did not die on the drive. Steveo taps the ball away on 4th down to give WHITE the opportunity to save face and tie the game. Rooks and Jordan hook up twice to move the ball to near mid-field. But that was as far as they would go. An out to Steveo turns into a JK pick…and…it’s over.

Mighty wins TD Leader and picks up his second Jewball Award of the season (also, with the tenth pick, becomes our only double-double man). MVP on the season went to Elishah for a great stat line including TDs scores, thrown, and picks), and, more importantly, a great attitude and demeanor. He may not catch every pass, but he plays hard wire to wire. He scores TD, he runs, chases, encourages his teammates, comes early, shows up. While our game sometimes devolves into a mess of cursing, complaints, and excuses, simply because we cannot help ourselves, Elishah plays the way that we aspire to play. Just focused, strong, and respectful of both sides, and the game itself.

I know this has been a long email, but it’s a long off season.

I usually take a second here to apologize for those I offended or embaressed either via email or on the field. I think I’ve beocme a lot more tame in my advanced age, but I still may have lost it on a few occasions. We saw some nice verbal sparring this season and even yesterday it got edgy between JK and BD, even JK and Rooks. Rabin and Socks (as usual). We like that. That’s good stuff. That’s the spirit of the game. We all know, when the game is over, a Jewball brother is a brother. There is never hard feelings.

So, with that, my typical final message will be the same. In about 6 months you will get an email from me about a 2012 Pre Season Game. Until then, you have as much, if not more work to do, than you do during the Jewball season. The weather is getting nice. There is no reason not to eat well and train hard this spring and summer in prep for football. There is, in fact, every reason to work hard to be ready for Jewball next fall. We have this game to be our inspiration for every slice of cake refused, or choice of water over soda, or mile run. For every drop sweat in the gym. Go hard. The rewards are there for the taking. Jewball is a game, but it is also a way of life. It will be ready for you next September. Will you be ready for it?

2/6/13

And this is why we need to keep plugging away. It was about a month ago that we canceled the season. Since then, we’ve had four games. The first three were anywhere from weak to bad, but at least we lived to see another day and join up with another local game. Our world got bigger, which is always the key to survival in a post-Croton, post-Degel universe.

And if we would have thrown in the towel a few weeks ago we would have missed out on that. And we would have missed out on Sunday. Our first snow game in 2 years, although to call it a snow game is an exaggeration. There was snow. A fresh, pristine white dusting covering frozen solid earth. The kind of ground that make shoe selection a conundrum. Was it cleats, sneakers, snow boots, work boots, whatever glow in the dark crocs Zez was wearing?

It was not a tackle game because the snow was hardly an inch, but it was tough to move out there. Cutting became more of a theoretical maneuver than anything else.

The good thing was, Jewball was played and we wound up with our best game in a while, some promising signs for the future, and it marked the return of some our all time greats. As I always say – Jewball needs quality football to keep going, but it’s about the people. For whatever reason, the guys that have played this game are basically my favorite people. I actually had to go to a Bar Mitzvah later that day (When the Super Bowl was kicked off….I was at a siyum). I was sitting next to Rabin. I looked around the table and felt at home. 8 out of the 12 people at the table had played our game. Different eras and fields, but they played our game. Our world keeps growing. That’s the way it should be.

And Sunday was a great example of that world. Let me break it down for you.

Jordan – Played since 2002. From Queens to Long Island

Rabin – Played since 2002 BCE

Meir – First game this season, but been around and loyal for a good six years

Joe and Kut – Brand new. True rooks.

Mosey – Played in Queens way back. Last game must have been 8 years ago. And here he is!

Show – Probably played in Queens by accident once or twice. Been with us for 5-6 years and somehow gets better as he gets older.

Steveo – Found him on our doorstep as a baby a few years ago. Became a man on our watch. Has been a huge recruiter for us, which brings us to…

Daveo – Steveo’s younger bro. Also, growing up before our eyes. Thinks Steveo is faster than him.

Brevda – Solid big man with beard and personality and

Joel – Ditto

Zez – A PJ’s pick up back in the lean years. Huge ambassador for us. Doesn’t know how not to bring it.

Sig – Younger bro of Brian Sigman, who, according to legend, once played Jewball but no one has ever seen it. Kid comes into the league like 2008 and just sets it on fire. One of the most intense players game has ever seen. Talented too. Then disappeared….until Sunday. His intensity can only be matched by the like of Zez and….

Chanan – Also, a crazy machine who goes all out all day. Hasn’t been around all season till Sunday. Btw, where the &*$# is Elishah?

Matt – Also, a supreme loyal, gamer. Dude drives in from Queens every week to play. Embodies the Jewball spirit as good as anyone can.

O – my man. Makes me proud to be his blood. It’s like with each name, I realize that the depth of caring about Jewball, good football, and the brotherhood of our game just keeps getting raised a notch. He’s been playing his a$$ off for a long time. Besides Rabin, I don’t think anyone is more miserable than O if there is no game.

Which brings me to…the game (you see how I was avoiding this).

Besides the slick surface, perfect day for football (kind of like today). Sun, no wind, high 30’s.

Meir was giving it a shot to comeback into the QB role. Rabin, was out to continue the roll he was on.

And it was Meir striking first, with Show gaining huge yards on a ball he wrestled from Mosey on perfect coverage. With Meir feeling good and confident about his prospects at twelve, he slings one to Kut to give Blue a 1-0 lead.

But, this is 2013, and Rabin has been virtually unbeatable. With Zez at TE, he begins to toy with his defender and the march down field begins. Soon enough, it’s Zez down the sideline and the score is tied.

From there, Blue – due to a combination of bad routes, QB miscues, and picks – does not gain a first down in four consecutive possessions. Meanwhile, Blue scores on their next three possessions (only one I recall specifically was a bomb to Mosey. I’ll say that O scored one since I always skip his heroics. And PJs, even though he didn’t play, since I notoriously skip his highlights too). Regardless, it turned into a beat down quickly. The quality of the game was salvaged as Blue figured out how to stop White from moving the ball, and managed to put up another point, but this one had Rabin and White as the team of destiny. Great to be out there with my Jewballers. Hopefully, this coming week we do it again, but make it more of a game.

MVP is Rabin. What can I say? He’s doing it. No disrespect. No sarcasm. No spin. He’s doing it.

TOP PLAYS – In air lateral from Zez to Sig. Sig calling Mosey, Moses. Joel coming back in after the knee injury. Daveo’s pants getting ripped clean off. The return of Chanan, Meir, Mosey, and Sig all in one game.

Who’s in for WEEK 16. We’ll be off for a while maybe after that for Purim. We’ll return for the final 4 weeks with some of our specialty versus games including Vets v. Rooks.

Let me know,

J v�_�p.>

2/13/2013

Week 16 deserves a real recap because it was quite memorable, but I just am a busy shul prez nowadays and it just sucks the time and life out of you.

What I can say is that it was our first snow/tackle game in about 2 years and it was exactly what a snow tackle game should be: fun as hell. We had the turf field all to ourselves and it was covered in about 3 inches of tightly packed snow which made moving pretty easy and was just soft enough to cushion make Steveo tackling BD possible.

Sun was shining. We had a 6 on 6 and a good Meir v. Rabin matchup. Being that it was tackle and Croton was not playing…kind of sad that we couldn’t get a bigger game.

Anyway, as Meir and Rabin chose up it seemed that Rabin wanted very much to be the tallest person on his team. While Meir decided that length and size would win a game of tackle, Rabin went with speed. Meir had Zez, O, BD, Matt, B-sh and Rabin had Klein, Steveo, Jordan, Jesus, and Akiva (mazal tov, again).

Guess who won? In a game of tackle? Although Jesus and Steveo proved able tacklers, the rest of the bunch had trouble. Meir was on the entire day and Rabin alleges to have figure out how to win only in the last ten minutes of the game. Well, he didn’t so much figure it out as was told by Akivah to take one step over instead of being sacked or rushing the pass. In the end it was too late as Meir had picked him twice which became scores. It was 3-0 before Rabin put up a score with Jordan running it in. Then Zez began exposing and abusing Klein, and with Meir throwing darts, that match up proved fatal. Final score was 5-2.

Meir, who has been a very good player for a long time, claims he has never been awarded an MVP. I fine that hard to believe since QBs tend to get them, but, regardless, he gets Jewball this week. Threw 3 TD, I think scored 2, 2 picks. Looked very good. Hopefully this can be the matchup for next few weeks.

As for next few weeks, many have Purim stuff…I’d assume. In two weeks it is in fact Purim so no game there. This week I personally have shul carnival etc. so I am out. I’m all for having a game or doing Week 17 after purim.

Let me know if you want in this week and we’ll try to make it happen. Also let me know about a Presidents Day game…

3/3/2013

After a two week Purim hiatus, it was good to get back to doing what we do and finishing the Jewball season strong. This Rabin/Meir showdown has become quite the season saver. And the showdown continued in WEEK 17 back in our old old homefield at Barret Park. 3 more weeks of this fine football season and plenty of intrigue left.

WEEK 17 was another classic with a nice mix of the old and the new. After Rabin won week 15 and Meir bounced back to take WEEK 16, it made sense that WEEK 17 was a tug of war with neither side willing to give an inch.

Rabin lead Blue with Jesus, Steveo, Daveo, Klein, Crew, Chanan, and Carmen. Meir threw for White and Mighty, Jordan, Matt, BD, Stern, Sonic, and B-sh.

The first three quarters of the game went scoreless but for all the right reasons. Tight coverage, wrestling balls from receivers, nifty flag pulling, jumping routes, and tracking down receivers after the catch. Although it was Blue who had more and better opportunities, Rabin was picked three times, twice in the Red Zone. Even after some big plays to Crew, Klein, and a juggling catch by Chanan, there was Mighty tormenting Rabin picking him left and right as if he knew what was coming next.

Eventually, Meir broke through with some short passes and good field position. On 3rd and 40, Mighty made a sliding catch on a fade and did his patented running across the entire width of the field thing until he found a seam and busted it in for a 1-0 lead. With fifteen minutes left in the game and Mighty needing to go, it looked like the game was in hand and Mighty would be collecting a late season Jewball. Instead, the wheels came off.

(Too painfull to write). Blue has the ball with ten minutes left and the ball on White’s 20. Jordan runs an out into the endzone and has all the space in the world. Meir zips one in to him on a dime. Drop.

Rabin takes the ball and finds Klein on a deep route. He gets by Sonic and scores. 1-1 with no time left. We head into the Jewball version of one possession each overtime. Meir throws a pick, to Klein…and then, 3 plays later, Rabin finds Klein in the end zone. Holy Schnitzel for Blue!

Brutal.

We’ll keep you posted on the night Rabin is taking his team/us out.

Jewball goes to Klein for lighting up the stat sheet in crunch time.

Next Sunday is our legendary Vets/Rooks Game. We’ll play 30 and over vs. those in their 20s. First 8 to sign up in each age group gets a spot.

Let me know,

3/11/2013

I don’t know if the 2012 Season is going to end 3 games shy of it’s 20 game goal. If it does, we can blame a hurricane, a Purim Sunday, and an early Pesach. However, 17 weeks of football and a rebirth following the merging of two games is not bad all things considered.

Again, I don’t know if this was our last week, so not sure how thickly to lay on the schmaltz. I will say that this was a memorable season. We’ll always remember it as the first time we played at Lawrence High School. We’ll have our incredible Jesus Bowl Tournament. We’ll have the introduction of new faces like Judah and Kut and Chomnick. And we’ll have the return of B-sh, Yakir, Mosey, and even the retired Klink. It is a beautiful game we play, and when you come down one Sunday morning to pull flags and make plays and talk $%@, you are not just working your mind and body, you are joining something that is forever. One game or a hundred games, you are a Jewballer for life. We don’t forget you. We may change your name and etch into the history books how pathetically or valiantly you played, but you are immortalized regardless.

Nothing symbolizes that principle more than our annual Vets/Rooks game, where the old battles the new. It is not so much as passing of the baton as the Vets trying to teach the new blood a lesson. Of course what ends up happening is the Rooks take the Vets to school. Year after year the game has been the old and tired versus the energetic youth and a sad testament to the savagery of losing a step or twelve.

The 2013 version of the game looked tough on paper, especially with B-sh going down last minute. And I’ll take a moment to wish a Vet with no equal, B-sh, a full and speedy recovery.

The Vets consisted of Rabin, Jordan, Show, Kut, BD, Evan, Matt, and Adlerstein. All players in their 30s with the exception of the DA at a ripe 40 and BD a youthful 29. The Rooks were plenty talented even if it were not for their fresher legs: Meir, Klein, Mighty, Daveo, Steveo, Chanan, Judah, and Jesus. On paper, looked like it should have been a massacre.

Rabin has had a hell of year. I can’t take that away from him. Say what you want about his game in the past, but the guy is durable and has shown this year that on any given Sunday, he could lead a team to victory (all it takes is some yelling, a guarantee, and treating to Holy Schnitzel). So the Vets were confident that the win was entirely possible, despite the odds stacked against them. They even believed after Rabin threw an early pick to Steveo which went for a TD and the Rooks went up 1-0. They believed after the second pick, and after the third.

Meir was throwing the ball well, but with such a gigantic field, it was not easy to score. Each team had to move the ball a mile, it seemed, to score. But with the picks the Rooks were given favorable field position. Judah was a very reliable tool for the Rooks and came through on a big 1st down, and it was 2-0 as the Vets started to doubt whether a win was in the cards. But Rabin said we had a chance. Whether we did or not, things changed when Evan finished his playoff game and joined the Vets. There was an immediate change. He took over at safety and began scheming and putting a lot of pressure on the Rooks. Although the Rooks scored again when Meir found Steveo on deep cross that Steveo wrestled from Show, the tide began to turn. Kut picked Meir and and Rabin found Matt at the 2 a few plays later and Matt punched it in. After some slick defensive stops, the Vets had the ball and were driving again. A major stall that my have foreshadowed the outcome came when the Vets has the ball on the 47 after a stop and could not get the 3 yards for the first down on 3 tried. But it was Evan to the rescue with a gorgeous pick and mad dash to put the Vets back in the game. With fifteen minutes left, the Vets got the ball back and were driving. Jordan got the Vets most of the way there with an out and after a five yard pass to Matt, it was the Vets on the 2 with ten minutes left and a chance to tie. It was all 4th down. Rabin made the play call, on the brink of making some history. Could the Vets win for the first time in Vets/Rooks history? No, they can’t. Incomplete. And then the Rooks score as Mighty catches the ball and spins his way to mid-field. Then Judah breaks free over the middle and ices the game with a score. 4-2.

MVP is Judah for the sack lunch, 2 scores and big 1st down catch. He’s also a true Rook. Both young and new to the game. Kid has game.

I don’t know if we’ll have a game next week, but we might. The next week also looks hazy. After that we have 2 weekends consumed by Pesach. So we’ll see what we get in.

Meanwhile, Rabin has invited us again to Holy Schnitzel for a free dinner this Wednesday night at 9 pm. He’ll be paying for his team from last week, but if you show up and compliment his 16-3-1 season, he’ll probably pay for you too.

Hopefully we see a lot of you Wednesday night.

Let me know about Week 18,

10/7/2013

I don’t know if the summer is getting shorter or I’m getting more distracted as the years go on, but yesterday did not feel like a WEEK 1. It was a solid game, on a decent field (if you can excuse a steel softball backstop in the end zone), with some brilliant passes, athletic plays, and tough defense, but it felt like sort of a mid-season game. Didn’t have that renewed energy spark. Not sure why.

But it was a game. And it was a WEEK 1, which means we’ve done it again. We started what I think is our 10th season on Long Island. And many of those who played those first games on LI were there again…working hard as ever to play the game we love in a not-old-man way. Rabin, myself, B-sh, BD. Mixing it up with some of the new blood. Of course we could always use new new blood. As much as I’m a sucker for sentiment and nostalgia, talent is what makes the game worth playing.

So…with all due respect, we’ve reached a point where Rabin is a talented QB. I’m not gonna frame it as a joke or contrast it with years and years and years of putrid passes and wretched performances. Of losing and losing and losing. Of never giving his team a chance. Of….oh, sorry….guess I have more aggression than I thought….Whatever he did….he flipped a switch, man. This guy is throwing quality balls into tight windows (and, yes, I said quality balls into tight windows….that is a perfectly legit football reference). Of course this entire list was not there yesterday so you’ll need to take my word for it. He is an offensive weapon. Period. Not “good for Rabin”….but good. And I’ll lay down the gauntlet now. We used to need a QB to replace Rabin….now we need one worthy of competing against him. If you are reading this and have the arm and the confidence…come out. I promise you, it’ll be a game.

We had a packed house yesterday. An 8-8 with Rabin in White against Schrier in Blue. Rabin lined with B-sh, Ben, Daveo, Kut, Judah, O, and Matt. Schrier lead Stern, Jordan, Steveo, BD, Landau, Eli, and Brevda. And it was a contest from the beginning. There was no question that Rabin was moving the ball better than Schrier. For whatever reason – line pressure, pier pressure, who knows. Rabin did score early with a TD sling to Daveo after a great catch and run by Judah (TD called back to disputed flag block). But from there on out it was back and forth. A battle of field position, with Rabin throwing a few picks, Schrier/Stern started drives that never went all the way. Rabin was also hurt by some costly drops that would have been scores. Kut one, Ben another. I mean….these balls were put on these guys (I don’t know how else to say that!) Rabin gave his array of WRs plenty of looks. Meanwhile, Blue was struggling all day. QB and WRs were on different pages. Plus, B-sh and Judah and O were eating up the line. Blue’s most competent receiver seemed to be Landau, which a.) tells you that Landau started catching and b.) the ball was only moving so far each completion. With fifteen minutes left, Rabin sealed the game for his team by executing an acrobatic one handed pick, followed by an NFL quality outside shoulder timing route to Matt at the 1 which became a TD. 2-0. Blue got the ball back but sputtered again, ending WEEK 1.

TOP PLAYS: Landau getting punched and Brevada summing it up: Uncle Moishy is okay, the mitzvah men are hurt. Finding out BD doesn’t like mud.

Jewball to Rabin. No brainer. The leadership and quality was there. Hope it continues. Looking for someone to put him back in his place. Anyone up for it?

WEEK 2 is next Sunday. We’ll probably try a new field – Lawrence High on the grass because running around is crazy. I looked into a permit. Very unlikely for a number of reasons from cost to our lack of paperwork (we are not an organization that can be defined in any way that would satisfy them).

Attached are some basic WEEK1 Stats. Awards for league MVP and TD leader are up for grabs.

Let me know about WEEK 2,

Forgot to add this…so now…even more awkward…

We had a pre-season game where the teams were odd, because….well….odd number of people showed. I counted Zez as the last guy.

This was somewhat my fault. Zez did not exactly sign up as much as inquire if the Game was on (checking email records)? I took that to mean he wanted to play and would if we had one. In truth, he was merely inquiring as sort of a fan of our game (which I know he is). Zez plays his a$$ off no matter what sport he is playing and whether it is a more official league or our game…and yes…he has some strange mornings of coming late, or with a few kids strapped to a stroller, or trying to take someone’s head off….but I do respect his game. And…if anyone was offended/angry by his not making it to Pre-Season Game 2…..I’ll take that bullet. Zez’s slate is clean and now it’s back on him. If he signs up…he’ll be there on time.

I know a lot of my Jewball brothers are playing in degel now and then off to Croton….so…I’ll just say…you are missed. Hopefully we’ll catch you at Turkey, Jesus, and 2014 Bowls.

10/22/2013

After an accidental BYE in WEEK 2, WEEK 3 was a return to Jewball in a familiar setting. Though there was an early morning scramble for a field (and a trip out to BD country) with Snow and Zez sending us the news about LHS being taken and Show scouting the soccer field by Aish, it was a ditch drive by our old haunt Barret Park that proved accommodating. The beautiful gem tucked away off Jadwin welcomed us back, gate open, crazy guy in the shack, grass, goose-crap free, and no one in sight but some paddle-ballers (yes, Ike, I know, the future sport of Jewball).

And with the magic of mobile devices, all found their way there. Back in Queens it was Saturday night phone calls and hope. Now, it is a few emails ten minutes before game time and the plan is easily adjusted. Awesome. Rabin told me that in the original Jewball, the league run by Alan Milchman, there was a call in number for the players on Saturday where an answering machine tape (yes, audio cassette tape) would reveal the location of the game and as people called in, Milchman would re-record the tape with the names of those who joined so you’d know who was playing. HOLY SHNIKES, that was during our lifetime (well, not you, Daveo).

Game started about 9:50 with a 6 on 6. Tom QBd for White (Mintz, Kovi, Kut, Show, and Landau), and Schrier threw for Blue (Daveo, Ike, Jordan, Matt, and Eliyahu). It was all Blue most of the way. Schrier had a pretty nice game, knowing his limitations and keeping the passes short range ins, outs, and slants. Perhaps Blue was blessed with too much speed as Daveo was just an impossible task for any of White’s defenders. On the first drive of the game, Daveo broke free and Schrier found him with a 15 yard strike, followed by a 40 yard dash to a 1-0 score. At this point, Zez and Judah arrived, and were split. Judah and his skills to Blue and Zez to the struggling White. Tom was under pressure also to find an open man and his team let him down a number of times with some costly drops. Kut, normally a sure-handed receiver and lock down defender, had one of his worst days as a Jewballer, losing his man and letting up a late TD, and also dropping a 5 yard pass for a crucial 1st down that killed a White drive and set Blue with the lead and excellent field position. Three plays later, a busted screen and some improvisation had Schrier dumping one to Jordan over the middle and the result was a 15 yard race to a second score. 2-0, Blue up. Between Ike turning back the clock with aggressive defense and Schrier really managing the game intelligently, White was always struggling to catch up. Eventually, it became 3-0 on a TD I can’t recall, but by the time Zez plowed down the sideline with QB keeper 88 yards to break up the shut out, it was too late in the day. With a few minutes left, Daveo scored again, making him the TD leader with 3 in 2 games. Blue wins rather easily 4-1. Unsung (till now) player of the day would be Show who could have made it legendary if he caught up to two passes just out of reach (one would have been for a score). Between tough as nails D and some circus catches, Show had one of those days that you remember, despite losing. Thanks to Rabin for playing nurse so Show could come out.

TOP PLAYS: Ike pulling Landau’s Flag. Zez GET OUT OF MY WAY TD (and Zez for coming to us straight from another game – respect), Show taking the hit in traffic and staying on his feet to pick up more yards, Kovi (get Cleats!) giving us a glimpse of his speed with a lighting fast spin move to make something out of nothing, Judah to Schrier like Manning to Decker (yes, wobbly), and Zez to Kut DEEP like Geno to Kerley and Kut making the Willie Mays grab.

Jewball has to go to Schrier in what may have been his first Jewball W. Nice game. Smart, competitive, gave your team what it needed to win. No big mistakes. Just solid.

Crazy guy in shack says Barret is all ours for next few weeks. Who wants WEEK 4?

10/28/2013

Another week, another scavenger hunt for a field, but we’re getting good at this game.

Even with the change of field, we started around 9:50 at the No. 6 school, with all 15 players signed up (we lost one pre-game). And the odd number turned out to be okay because Show had a lingering Gourmet Glatt injury that took him out of the game a few sets in.

So, in the end it was a 7 on 7 on a field that started with a metal backstop in the endzone and eventually widened out as the old timers game ended at 10:15 right next to us.

While the weather and players were talented and up for the game, it was a frustrating morning of football. What started with one of the oddest TDs in Jewball history, ended in a one-sided win for the man who cannot tolerate losing.

Zez, who jumped in despite having an 11:20 start at a nearby field, QB’d for Blue (Tom, Jordan, Rugby, Landau, Rose, and Ike). Schreier, coming off a dominating win, threw for WHITE (Ben, Eliyua, Nussin, B-sh, Mintz, and Judah). The hope was that Zez would not dominate the game and we’d have something, but….was pretty much a cliché.

The only moment that went off script was the first TD of the game – the aforementioned strangest TD in Jewball history. It was a button hook to Rugby (that’s Landau’s South African bro-in-law), who has the accent and looked like he could handle a scrum. He catches the ball, heads toward the defense….and…inexplicably (if it weren’t for my assumption that he’s played rugby) turns and flips the ball backward….to B-sh…who is on the other team. And B-sh takes it in for a TD. The play was first called a fumble, which would have resulted in a down and BLUE would keep the ball, but upon further review, it seemed that it was simply a misguided lateral. And misguided laterals that are picked…are picked. So it was B-sh with the rare P6, and WHITE takes an early lead.

And that absurd TD was the only way it seemed WHITE could score. Despite WHITE having all the other commendable stats. A few trips to the red zone, a couple of picks, B-sh and Judah bringing a ton of pressure and lunching on Zez a few times, Schreier just could not take them to the promised land. Sometimes it was his receivers betraying him; sometimes it was poor execution, but…in the end…results matter, and the WHITE offense put up zero points. Can’t win like that in any league.

Meanwhile, BLUE was good enough to win. Jordan P6ed Schreier early to tie the game. From there it was a Zez keeper off a fake hand off and Zez running 88 yards to take the lead. A late TD to Tom made it official. BLUE dominates WHITE 3-1.

Jewball goes to Zez for a few reasons. The first is playing Jewball even with another flag game on the schedule. That’s notice to all of y’all that a Degel game does not preclude a Jewball game. Plus, he pursues on defense like a fiend. And he had the TD and the TD thrown. Good enough for an MVP in a pretty quiet game.

TOP PLAYS: Judah gets his league leading 4th sack, Landau gets injured but its not his testicles. Jordan diving flag pull. Nussin stiff arms Zez. Landau asks if we play 7 dead?! Schreier to Judah for the 1st down on 3rd and 40.

Next week, I’ll do a quick run by Barret to see what is up and email if it is open. Otherwise, we’ll do the same plan. Start at half field by No. 6 and takeover the whole field when the early game leaves at 10:15. Don’t worry, no one plays deeper into the winter than we do. All these fields will open up for the real football months…and we’ll get our 20 games in.

Let me know about WEEK 5.

11/5/2013

There were positive signs from the start. Instead of driving around needing to look for a field, we had a choice.

When I see my red incoming email light flashing early on a Sunday morning, a chill runs down my spine. Who is canceling last minute? What summer sport is inexplicably being played on our field? We have our notorious last minute cancelers. We have our, “I woke up sick in the middle of the night.” Our, “turns out I have brunch with cousins in NJ.” Okay, it’s part of the Jewball culture. I’m just saying, I’ve never signed up and canceled in 13 years. Anyway, my red light was flashing. But instead of the excuses, I was greeted with good tidings. No. 6 is wide open. Barret is wide open. Where should we play? There is a yiddish word for such problems: G’shmak.

Even better….no cancelations. The 16 who signed up will be there. Even Zez is emailing before the game which means he is on time. Even better, we have 2 QBs who are gonna make a game of it. Even better, they both are invested in getting the W. It means something to them. Even better, when I get to the field, there is a guy there in shorts and a jersey with close cropped blonde hair who looks like a Sooner. He has a name, but I shall call him Rhino. And best of all, there was still a game to be played, the sun was peeking through the clouds, and the temperatures hovered in the low 50’s. Many times the game does not match the hype. That is always that fear. What would WEEK 5 bring?

Although some may argue otherwise, the teams were evenly matched on paper. Each squad had a QB that meant business, a strong line, and capable receivers. Zez in WHITE took Ben, Rhino, Steveo, Judah, Tom, Landau, and Rugby into the huddle. Rabin in BLUE was poised to lead Klein, Eliyahu, B-sh, Jordan, Mintz, Nussin (who doesn’t want to be called that, but I think it’s too late), and Schreier. Based on some feedback from the league, Jewball instituted the biggest change to our non-turf games since flags were ratified. We played two first downs, at the 33s. Turned out it made for a good game. It’s a keeper.

Zez took ball first, but Klein and Schrier made sure the drive didn’t go as far as it could have. Between tight defense and some brutal drops, WHITE shot itself in the foot for much of the morning. In a close game, a couple of bad drops make the difference. Rabin would take over on BLUE’s 20 and lead a drive that achieved a first down at his own 32. Taking a chance on 1st and goal he lofted a bomb down the right hash and it just got over the reach of Steveo. Jordan makes the catch and fades into the endzone for a quick score. 1-0, BLUE.

It was BLUE again showing that they intended to be the powerhouse of the day, on both sides of the ball. With Nuss playing safety and tracking Zez’s every move, the normally dangerous running QB was limited. Not stopped, but limited. Maybe the first game Zez has played where he did not record a scoring TD. The pressure he felt lead to a number of picks and even more near picks. Eliyahu “The Prophet” Frishman had about 4 chances to create turnovers, only capitalizing on one. Rabin once again had the ball and a chance to increase the lead and about 80 yards to go. This time it was a rejuvenated AK15 finding the speed that he showed when he burst onto the scene a few years ago busting up the sideline. Another dreamy pass from the Rabin 2.0 hit Klein over the shoulder and swiftness did the rest. Even with Sonic and Zez in hot pursuit, there is no PED like holding a football and seeing the end zone in front of you. It’s like rocket fuel. 2-0.

Then things changed. Quickly and dramatically. Rabin lead another charge using a Mintz tipped ball caught by Eliyahu to arrive at the doorstep of a 3-0 lead. But it stalled at the ten. The ever-determined Zez took over and a 40 yard pass to Rugby followed by a tussle with his defender found Rugby with space and no flag pulled. He scored easily. 2-1. A play later, the unthinkable happened. Rabin threw a P6 to Ben from his own 1. A gift wrapped game tying TD for WHITE. 2-2.

This was a movie we’d seen before. Rabin blowing a huge chance to make a statement. Zez coming back by sheer force of will to come out on top. But Rabin plugged away. And speaking of plugging away and coming out on top, it was after a catch and run to AK that Zez proved that he would not be beaten again. Not only did he track down Klein this time, but he violated him. He basically took Klein out of the game for the rest of the day due to the psychological trauma. Even with the disturbing image in his head, Rabin converted the yards into points by hitting Mintz (I think) on a cross and the slim lead was regained. And back the other way it went. Even with Nuss completely tormenting Zez (to the point where Zez was complaining about aggressiveness…yes, same dude) Zez found running lanes and kept the defense on its toes. His receivers (cough, Judah, cough Tom) did him no favors by dropping two sure scores. In the end, Judah somewhat redeemed himself by catching a 20 yard curl and then running another 60 yards to knot the score again. And back came Rabin and BLUE with a timely Eliyahu pick that had BLUE 30 yards away from regaining the upperhand. Rabin has said the following thing in the huddle 158 times: “You, you’re gonna take a step back and I’m gonna throw it to you RIGHT AWAY. And you, you knock the crap out of his guy.” It has never worked. Our screens often have more holes than those Sunday Morning cancellation excuses. But Nuss is different. He’s a football player. Rhino is a football player. We like footbally players. Nuss takes on Steveo and Zez and stands them up. Jordan catches the screen pass lofted perfectly over the back shoulder. The path is CLEAR. A sprint to the endzone makes it 4-3. But we couldn’t end like that. Zez breaks off a 50 yard run and caps it with a TD to Tom. Told you, he refuses to lose. Now there is no time on the clock and it’s 4-4. One possession each to determine the victor. Rabin wastes no time determining this one. Two speed routes on the outside. AK to the left, Jordan to the right. Wherever the safety goes, ball goes the other way. Both WRs fly and look back to see if they are chosen to be the hero. And it’s launched. It’s going right. Jordan must make the play. Zez is coming over the top. Steveo is beaten by a step. It would take the perfect pass to seal the deal. And it is. A strong, in full stride computer guided missile into the outstretched waiting arms of Jordan, and the 35 year old legs, feeling particularly good in the early season, do the rest. 5-4. Pumped up and gritty, the defense keeps the pressure on and WHITE cannot get the drive going. GAME OVER. Great game, over.

Although Rabin threw 5 and Nuss played like a defensive juggernaut, 3 TDs scored (one, a game winner) gives Jordan the Jewball. He must know someone.

Hopefully we carry this momentum through the TURKEY BOWL.

Who wants a piece of WEEK 6?

11/19/2013

Coming off a tournament of 24, we were looking at only 14 players going into WEEK 7. Last minute, we picked up Joe and Zez’s Plus 1 (and more about these characters later) to give us a respectable 16. Branch was once again wide open on another perfect football Sunday. Because no one had been around in weeks, we decided to build our field across the width of No. 6 giving us clear endzones and no slope. The 9 am start time was fine and we had 15 players ready to go. Problem was the gear and Zez’s guy had not made it to the field. About twenty minutes later, a young, strong, bearded fellow arrives with the gear in yeshivish garb and crocs. As Scooby Doo might say – Ruh Roh. Guy turned out to be a decent player, and since this is one big, happy, dirty, diseased family, our new players (Joe as well) were loaned cleats and the game was under way by 9:30. The game was nothing to brag about. Certainly not boring, but marked by a bunch of drops on really fine passes. Beter known as buzz and momentum killers. Rabin lead Steveo, Beard, BD, B-sh, Eliahu, Mintz, and Kovi. Shreier threw for Tom, Jordan, Landau, Matt, Rugby, Joe, and Kut.

I don’t know what the score should have been. I wish I could give credit for fierce defensive stops, but much of the game was marked by failures to score based on poor hands.

But there was some scoring. Schreier seemed to do a lot with his legs when all seemed lost. To the frustration of Rabin and co., Schreier picked up a number of first downs simply by “taking off” when the pocket collapsed. Near sacks of course are not sacks. One of these runs extended an early drive that eventually lead to a TD pass to Kut. I think there was no scoring after that for an hour, but eventually a well designed screen to Steveo put Blue on the board and we were tied up.

Around this time, a bunch of young vultures starting stretching at the outskirts of our field. Over the course of the final half hour of our game, they had gathered to the tune of 10 and were playing some sort of football game on the small area we left them. We spoke to their leader and it seems that we may be sharing the field with them occasionally. This might result in some versus games, which will be welcome.

Back to our game – With only ten minutes left on the clock, the intensity picked up. The drops continued. But one player who figured it out was Tom who found his A Game down the stretch. Racking up some big yards late, he helped Schrei drive the field and eventually made a very acrobatic diving catch off a tipped ball in the end zone to give White the lead with only five minutes left. Looked like Tom was destined for a Jewball.

But, Rabin made sure that he would at least get the tie. Riding BD as he did for much of the day, Rabin got down field. The biggest yardage play being an over the shoulder beauty to Beard. With the clock ticking down, BD was hit on a cross, and we were at 2-2.

Both teams failed to do anything with their final possessions, and for the second week in a row, we end in an unsatisfying tie. Again, I wish the score was legit, but it isn’t. Good passes should be caught more often that not. Let’s clean up the game, Jewballers.

No MVP for the tie, but play of the day was certainly Tom’s TD.

Refuah Shelamah to Joe who got knocked out and I think even visited the hospital later in the day (I did see an ambulance by his house). Get come cleats and come back. Also Beard with the ankle, and of course Matt (tough bastard!!) with the shoulder.

WEEK 8 is this Sunday. Rabin said he is out. We need at least one QB to make this worth playing. We’ll play 9-11 again. Also, remember that Turkey Bowl is next Thursday, but we’ll sign up for that via the same email as WEEK 9.

Let me know,

11/25/2013

I am not justifying WEEK 7 with a full recap. I was very proud to have 11 guys show up on a brutal morning with freezing temps and strong wind. Not surprised, but proud. Extra credit to Zez for showing up to our game to see if we needed numbers once his game was done. Extra non-credit to Rugby for leaving us odd and pulling the no-show.

It was cold and windy and painful. The game was actually decent considering. Plays were made. People tried. But it was just impossible to stay out there for too long. We went about an hour. Tom and Schrei threw well. We ended in – what else – a tie 2-2. Daveo breaks off two very nice long TD runs. He is one behind Jordan for TD leader as Jordan grabbed one as well. Judah and B-sh continue to battle for defensive player of the year, getting a sack apiece. Well done to all for coming out. Tis’ the Jewballer way.

We try this again on Thursday for the annual Turkey Bowl and then Week 8 next Sunday. Turkey Bowl is 9:00-11:00. Let me know what you are up for…

12/10/2013

As I told Rabin after the game in our traditional Sunday celebrations or laments via text, “the better team won.”

Rabin would argue that with a break here or there, a catch here or there, WHITE would have overcome. That would be me, Rabin, Matt, Nuss, B-sh, Landau, and Mintz (welcome back), but instead, the better team won. The team with more speed and the team who was able to make most of their catches, and execute most of their plays, and certainly the team that called more plays that worked. That would be a reinvigorated Snow and his crew of Chanan, Tom, Show, Eliahu, BD, and Rugby.

The truth is, I have no time to write this email, and with a final score of 5-2 (that actually felt closer while we were playing), there is no drama to build. The best reason to write this email is to announce the breakout game that Rugby had. The kid from SA can fly. He showed some speed in the past, but all of a sudden Snow turned him into a weapon – a legit threat to break open a play with the simple touch of the ball.

It was Rabin driving on the opening possession and then inexplicably stalling in the red zone with a batted down pass to Jordan that Show covered. And from there, Snow and Rugby did the smart little things to expose WHITE. Matt did in fact eventually contain Rugby, but it came after two scores on runs that put WHITE in a tough spot. Rabin fought back and hooked up with Jordan on a beauty down the left sideline. But then it was Snow and Tom making magic to the tune of three more scores. In the meantime, Rabin and co. only managed one score on a pass to Nuss, which followed an incredible cross field flag pull by Rugby, chasing Jordan and closing about a 70 yard gap just shy of the end zone. Fun stuff.

Other top plays were Show game ending pick, Chanan instituting the cursing rule (tack on 5 yards for every curse), and Snow with all the no look play action stuff.

And that is all I have in the tank for today.

I will not be around for WEEK 10, but that doesn’t mean there should not be a game of course. I can get the gear to the game.

Let me know about next week,

10/23/2013

Rabin wants a really good recap. Why? Because Daveo’s pants came down and we saw his tighty hot pinkies? Because Eliahu caught a deep bomb with one hand in his pocket (and that’s the hand he caught the ball with!) in traffic and then outran two players a decade younger than him for a score? Of course not. It’s because Rabin threw 6 TDs and won, and he deserves the glory. So here it is. Rabin threw a hell of a game and put up 6 points using an array of receivers. No doubt Jewball to him. Snow only scored 2 and watched his receivers betray him time and time again. In the end, it was a lot of football but chaotic and not the competitive game we would have wanted. The o-brothers sat out for long stretches with bouts of nausea and fatigue. Alex popped a hammy in his Jewball debut. Davoe’s plus 1 never showed (sorry Chanan) so we were in disarray from the outset. Mintz was traded in the middle to help out BLUE. He actually scored twice for them (making it a 3 score day) and some crazy running skills (dekes not see since the early days of Mighty). I’ll send stats tomorrow. For now, let’s get a massive game on tap on the turf this Wednesday at Lawrence High School 9:30-11:30. Even if you think you told me already, tell me now: Who wants Jesus?

2014

1/1/2014

Today was good, not great.

Good to be on the turf. Good to start the New Year with football and Jewballers. Good to have Doggy back out there, competing, giving people nicknames with abandon. It just wasn’t good football. We start with Judah not being able to make it and the odd teams. Which not only meant someone was sitting, but that we played a tighter field. Which meant we had only one lineman. With those ingredients, it just isn’t good football. And it was frustrating because the day was nice and a field like that should not be wasted. For me, it was frustrating. Both B-sh and Rabin (whom I’ve played with for over a decade) told me they’ve never seen me angrier. Of course they were laughing at me while I raged on, but…SECOND DOWN!

The game was also sloppy, even with the narrow field we were playing in. A lot of mistakes, lazy plays, lack of focus, floating passes, bad defense, bad flag pulling, TDs called back, and don’t get me started on the penalties and arguments. The funny thing was, now that I think about it, it actually reminds me of our games way back in the day….when Rabin and Doggy were both regulars….or maybe even before Doggy came on the scene. So be it. Not everything can be perfect. I’m calm now. Judah is doing penance, Doggy didn’t break or tear anything (right?). Props to Mark, a talented kid with a great football brain (that rub and tug play was genius!) for coming in from city and putting up with us. And, did I mention my team lost and I dropped two passes. You see, that kind of day. So forgive me if I’m in no mood to celebrate Rabin’s victory over Doggy 4-3 on the final play of the game.

We start with Blue, Doggy, Jordan, Mark, Matt (a last minute trade), Eliahu, BD, and Chanan. On the other side White, Rabin, Daveo, Mintz, B-sh, Tom, and Meir. Good teams. No reason to have a sloppy game.

Doggy gets sacked on first play of the day. B-sh imagines he will average one sack per minute giving him 120 sacks on the day. “Of course, because there are no stats!” He may have gotten one more. Rabin takes over and mounts a drive. Meir and Tom making catches to move the chains. Eventually, the slipperiest bastard to ever play Jewball not named Mighty, Chaim “Slick” Mintz, scored (and Slick is so much more annoying because he looks like he should be really easy to tackle – and I would know! I chased him 30 yards today and the best I could do in the end was rip off his pants after being dragged 8 yards like I was tied to his bumper). 1-0 Rabin.

Doggy took some time finding his rhythm and eventually hit Chanan to go half the field and then Jordan over the middle who made some sharp cuts of his own to tie things up. It went back and forth for a while with mostly Rabin picking on Eliahu and finding Slick time and again. Daveo and Meir picked up some long yards here and there and with the one man line Rabin actually ran a bunch of times (most of the time illegally – FIRST DOWN!!!). Correct me if I’m wrong, but did Slick score all Blue’s points.

White got its second on another long Chanan pick up followed by a cross by Mark and darting into the endzone. And it’s 3rd when Eliahu ran 90 yards before being tracked down and Chanan finished it off. White was actually up 3-2. But after Rabin tied things up Doggy made his one costly mistake of the day. A pick to Meir during sudden death OT. Rabin lead a long and brutal drive where Blue’s defense was just not up for the task. Eventually it was Slick and Eliahu with a jump ball and Slick did not come down with it.

It’s always better to play football than not to (well, not always….so games are too ugly, but not today). Hopefully today is a sign of things to come in welcoming back our Vets, and not of the quality of our game, the no-shows, and the arguing.

And speaking of arguing, I will now put on my commish hat and institute a rule for the first time in Jewball history. No more do-overs. Every penalty will result in either an automatic first down or a loss of down (depending on whether it is on offense or defense). Holding, face guarding, blitzing when you already blew the blitz, all other defensive infractions will give the offense a first down. They do not get additional yards. It’s basically giving that team an extra first down. Yes, sometimes it won’t help too much, like if they are only 5 yards from the first down anyway. Of course the offense can always choose to decline. It’s simply meant to have some ramifications for it and not just a do-over as we have always done. Offensive infractions like leaving before hike, running on a play you can’t run (D line did not cross for example), throwing to an ineligible receiver, holding, setting an illegal screen, block in the back, etc. will result in a loss of down.

This does not mean we want penalties called. We never want penalties called. We want a smooth play on game. We want you to play smart and not commit penalties, but if you do, the days of do-over are over.

We have Tom, Steveo, Rabin, Matt, Rose, Eliahu, B-sh, and BD in for Sunday. That is 7 and we’ll need 7 more. Snow is coming Friday so very well could be a tackle game. We’ll see. Need 7 more to keep the discussion going. Turf should still be open but won’t make a difference if it’s covered in snow.

1/7/2014

Yeah, it’s cold today. The news is saying coldest in decades. But, I’m sure we’ve played in worse.

Anyway, it is about toughness getting out there to play some Jewball in the winter and WEEK 13 was a great test for our crew. Once in a while we get the right amount of snow during the right part of the week and it gives us the opportunity for a game of tackle. Snow was soft but becoming packed. About 4-5 inches. No wind. About 35 degrees and warming up as the game went on. Perfect. When guys hear tackle in the snow, some shut down. It’s an automatic no way. Sounds like a nightmare. But then there are the rest of us who know that it may be messy and slowish, but it is guaranteed to be a great game and one for the ages.

Teams were rock solid this past Sunday. Rabin v. Tom – two gamers ho always come with the win now mindset. Klein showed up, fresh off his Degel Championship, showing off the ring (yes, Might, I know you won too and you played last week). Rose made a comeback, and just in time, because dude can tackle – he’s got the wild look. Matt D. Box drove in no doubt from Queens to make sure no one had the it’s too far to drive in the snow excuse. Eliahu came out laying out for tackles making sure no one had the I’m too old for tackle football excuse. Judah, making penance came out, and lit it up in his element. B-sh and BD were made for this sh*&. Steveo never misses a tackle game. Already has the snow boarding gear. And last minute addition, Chanan “Animal” Averbuch was his usual menacing self.

Tom threw for Klein, B-sh (lining up at WR plenty), Judah, Eliahu, and Steveo. Rabin, with some sort of brown work related juice-liquid on his jersey, lead Chanan, BD, Rose, Jordan, and Matt.

Listen, it takes a while to flip that “I need to tackle/I may get tackled/hurt” switch in your head. The first time you see someone make a catch or take off with the ball, you think, “pull the flag, wait there is no flag, this is a tackle, wait, I need to tackle that guy…but it’s Tom, he’s twice my size and he’s coming at me fast, maybe I can push him or jump on his back, maybe someone else will hit him from the side before he gets to me, someone like BD or Rose, I know I’m supposed to go for his legs but I’m gonna get kicked in the face!, okay he’s here, I’m going for the push/half shoulder grab, hey, I just slid right off him and he’s still running, I’m eating snow, Rabin is yelling at me to get him down dammit, but Rabin is not trying to tackle him either, oh good, there’s Animal going after him, okay he’s down.”

But the truth is, I am an exception. Most of these guys know how to tackle and play tough. Klein, Judah, BD, Animal, Matt, Eliahu, Steveo….beasts. Basically everyone except for me and Rabin.

But there was football, not just slipping, sliding and anonymous snow ball attacks (“It’s ALWAYS Steveo!”). Rabin struck first with BD charging after the catch to get us down to the goal line. Matt made a beauty of a grab in the corner to get the scoring started. Tom answered right back with Klein racking up hard fought yards. Judah cutting over the middle with catch and plenty of missed tackles. 1-1. Then, Rabin engineered one of the prettiest drives in Jewball history. Over the opposite shoulder bomb for the tip and catch and a big 1st down. Then Animal charging up the gut with a yard eating run. Finally, the flee flicker, Rabin to Jordan to Rabin and the wide open Rose on the left seam to make it 2-1. After another 3 and out for Tom, Rabin struck again. After the lateral from BD to Jordan that kept the drive alive. Rabin once again found Rose on a great post route and took a 3-1 lead. But Tom was not going to be outdueled so easily. After a drive to his 30, he set up the screen to Steveo…..but it’s a fake screen and blocker Judah fades behind the coverage and is wide open. Catch and score. 3-2.

Rabin would put up one more score as Chanan beats his man and Rabin unloads deep for the seemingly commanding 4-2 lead with a half hour to go. But then the picks started coming and both offenses seemed to stall. Tom would eventually decide to take matters into his own hands…well actually into his own legs. Racing like the thoroughbred that he is down the left sideline, Jordan tries to knock him out, then Rabin, then Chanan….but all three defenders fall and Tom keeps on trucking….54 yards to pay dirt. 4-3.

We say dead at 5. But no one can do anything for 15 minutes and we call it a game. We return home to thaw and heal.

TOP PLAYS: BD waiting with the ball instead of running for the score so that he can hit someone who might try and tackle him. Rabin lovingly patting Rose’s back while Rose makes a gritty tackle as if to say, “good baby.” Klein and Chanan revealing that they are all muscle. Steveo with the two picks. Judah breaks his toe keeps on truckin’, B-sh….elbow?

MVP is my man, the Rabominable Snowman! Throwing great, bouncing around like a kid, playing with the wife expecting any second. 4 TDs thrown and even running for it once (yes, it was directly out of bounds while screaming like a girl, but it’s not like anyone is going to announce it).

Let me know about WEEK 14. 7 Games left!!!

2/18/2014

Jewball is back and ready to finish a pretty good season that simply had like a month break. But think back to our tournament or the games at Barret. We’ve had a long season. It just seems like there has been snow on the ground and freezing for as long as we can remember.

Was not easy to play yesterday. Didn’t even make a lot of sense considering the “fresh powder” turned out to be a crunchy layer of snow over a 6-7 inch layer. So every step was a challenge. Every footfall was a grind, not knowing if your step would break the frozen plane or not. Was never easy to move out there. But we toughed it out. Mintz, Kut, and Meir, in true Jewball fashion, came down to support the guys despite some injuries and their better judgment. Pretty sure Zez like tore his ACL two weeks ago so not sure why he looked mobile….but that’s Zez. He must heal like Spiderman. Even Landau took a page out of the B-sh handbook and came out in shorts to watch. BD was the only casualty. Dude loves the tackle games, but blew some tires out trying to get there. Tom played official D most of the game until Meir’s ankle said no mas and he took over at QB.

Despite the tough terrain, the game actually was a good one. Close and competitive. It was Meir with Kut, Alex, Jordan, and Mo (Zez’s guy – looks like a player and a red beard). And Rabin with Zez, Mintz, Steveo, and Nuss (all the way in from Brooklyn).

The opening machlokes was should Tom be official O or D. It was decided O would be too much because it would eliminate the safety. On a day where runs would dominate the playbook, D made more sense. An extra tackler in a game where most guys don’t tackle real well. We questioned that logic right away as Meir was smothered and picked by Tom at the 2 to start the game. Soon after it was another pick by Tom and almost a 2-0 lead, but Steveo dropped a pretty one from Zez on the flee flicker. But soon enough it was a Steveo strip of Alex after two nice Alex runs and score that made up for the blunder and we’re at 2-0.

Then there was the whole push the five towns community board taking a survey of No. 6 School/HALB out of the snow. You see! We’re like the Forrest Gumps of the Five Towns! We’re always in the background of the major milestones. I would make a few jokes here, but I cant remember any major milestones. We do keep opening new shuls, but that’s about it.

So, after pushing the car, back to football and it was like the blackout at Superbowl whatever number was last year. It changed the game. All of a sudden, in a game where no one had moved the ball at all past midfield the entire game and Rabin’s crew had taken advantage of a short field all day, Meir got his team into a groove. What started with a Jordan run for the first first down of the day, was capped by a bomb to Kut and then a brilliant diving over the shoulder corner of the end zone grab to make it 2-1.

Rabin’s lead was extended when Tom again picked off Meir and a short field was gifted. Zez finally was able to use his elusiveness (ha!, did I write elusiveness? I meant penchant for steamrolling people) and go the distance for his team making it an insurmountable 3-1 lead.

Did I say insurmountable? No such thing when Meir is Mr. Cool calling the shots and Jordan is sculpting erotic figurines out of snow and ice! And just like that, Jordan, perhaps inspired by his art, busts down the left sideline and fingertip catches a miraculous floating wonder from Meir that goes for a 100 yard scoring play.

Meir and co. clamped down on D and then changed the game with Kut recovering a fumble. With a flurry of runs and Kut catches. With Alex manning the line and giving Meir the time to throw, he started picking apart a pretty crowded defense. And then it was Kut with another score, making his risk of life and limb worth it! You’d even think he’d earn a Jewball for his heroics. But you’d be wrong.

Jewball goes to Tom whom we did not talk about much. Why? First of all, with BD not making it, he is officially the ironman of Jewball this year, playing in more games than anyone. Second, he volunteers to play official….DEFENSE. Third, he has three picks. And most of all, when Meir goes down with an ankle, he resolutely finished the comeback Meir started by taking over at the helm of an offense for the first time all day, driving to midfield, and then alluding two tackles on a 4th and 2 and winds up going 62 yards for the score. Tom gets your MVP.

TOP PLAYS: Nuss knocking over Jordan while Jordan is trying to make bad jokes at the line. Steveo helping out with the art. Rabin tying his pants nice and tight.

Next week, we play WEEK 18. The next week we do Vets Rooks. And then the week after Purim we bid goodbye to the 2013-14 campaign and gear up for summer sports.

Who wants WEEK 18?

3/4/2014

Vets Rooks always deserves a good recap, but sometimes the game doesn’t live up to it’s status. My favorite thing about Sunday was not that the Vets took the lead for the first time ever, or that it was a 5-4 lead after being down 3-0 and 4-1. The best thing about Vets Rooks of our 2013 season was, that it didn’t depress me. The Vets were older than most of the Rooks (sorry for the big reveal, Eliahu) – sometimes a full decade older or more….but we played ’em. We played with ’em. Yes, there were times when we were toyed with and it just didn’t seem fair (ahem, Mark). Yes, two of the older guys sustained injuries. But, in the end, it was competitive. Now, I don’t know if the Rooks felt the same way. Maybe they knew they could beat us whenever they wanted….but…if that is the case, they did a good job pretending that the outcome was in doubt.

Rooks took the ball with Mark at QB to start the game and leading the 20-something Rooks (plus true first year players Alex and Eliahu who are, er, not 20). Using Mighty, Judah, Ben, Steveo, and Meir, moving the ball against the Vet Zone proved pretty easy. With Mark’s ability to run sideline to sideline and find the soft spots in the protection, the Vets looked like they were in for a long day. That extra effort needed to compete wasn’t there. Not wrapping up. Not getting over. I think Steveo put up the first point of the day. Snow was a bit late coming down to QB for the 30-something Vets, so Zez started for them and actually moved the ball pretty well with Rose making one spectacular catch after another, but Steveo tipped a ball away from Jordan in the endzone ending the drive and the opportunity to tie. Snow arrived and took over, but Mark running the offense was too much for the Vets. He was unstoppable it seemed with the weapons at his disposable. A Mighty screen could go for 20 yards at will. He marched downfield. From the 35 he scrambled and scrambled and pumped and scrambled and took a nice tour of the field….before evading the defense trying to put a hand on him…and ran one in to make it 2-0. While Snow was still getting warmed up, Mark struck again. This time on another broken play. A bomb into the left side of the endzone. A jump ball between Jordan and Zez….and Zez wanted it more. 3-0. Looked like another merciless beat down and a brutal week of contemplation for the Vets. But Tom and Rose and Snow started working. Tom makes an insane one handed catch on the sideline on a 4th and long. Rose then makes an equally mind blowing over the shoulder full out sprint grab at the 20 and races the additional 20 yards to put the Rooks on the board. 3-1.

At that point Meir took over the throwing for the Vets. Although it was nice to for the Vets to lose Mark as a QB…now he was a WR! Plus, Meir is no slouch at QB. As expected, he drove the field. After a Zez TD was called back for a block in the back, Meir found Zez in the corner of the endzone on a perfect pass and the TD lead for the Rooks was back to 3.

As the Vets will now mount the comeback and you may hear the word pick thrown around, I don’t want this to become a story about poor QB play. This is a story of Snow who believes in his abilities and never throws in the towel. A story of B-sh who keeps getting up. A story of BD bringing the pressure. A story of some Vets making the plays when they needed to be made. Once again it’s Tom and Rose working with Snow to march the field. Throw in a few big yard plays by Kut and Matt (notice Jordan not being involved…thank you Mighty, you b#$%h!!!!). Then it’s Rose again with the catch and run to inch closer.

The unthinkable happened next. And if you were a Vet, it was a taste of heaven. Three consecutive picks on the Rookie side of the field. I can’t say why or how. I like to think it was a combination of our blitzers and coverage, but who knows. Meir had a bad spell. The first pick is Kut and Snow turns it into points by slinging one to Tom between two defenders on 4th and short. After he puts up the points, Tom plays defensive hero, making the next pick. Jordan is finally allowed some space and with a Matt block, takes the pitch and flies for 20 yards into daylight and the game is tied.

Then, the 3rd pick. It’s Matt and it’s beauty and poetry! By this time, Rabin is on the sidelines in his dress clothes and fancy shoes screaming his brains out. He then comes into the game dressed for a Persian wedding and…wouldn’t you know it….scores the go ahead TD on a crossing pattern. I was lucky enough to be running the deeper route on his pattern and I’ll never forget the look on that guy’s face. I mean, no epitomizes Vet like Rabin Rahmani. No one has been through more, sacrificed more, suffered more, and always with that positivity. Unreal. Not to mention that he is the longest tenured active Jewballer. So it was great to see him on the same field as someone like Mark who is a true Rook in very sense. Vets Rooks is about past present and future…and there you had it.

But, as we always have it, the future erases the past. Within minutes of that elation came…Mark back into the QB slot and 2 fairly easy scores. One to Zez on another jump ball – this time against Tom – and it was just Zez saying….Vets ain’t winning today.

After a stalled Vet drive, Mark found Steveo in the seam and Steveo ran the rest of the way. And with that 2013 Vets Rooks ended…as they always do, statistically speaking – with a Rookie win. 6-5 Rooks.

Your MVP for this years’ game is Eliezer Fuld, maybe you heard of him. Brought it. Always brings it, but this time he brought it and scored 3 TDs, and 2 of them were via sheer will. Well done, big man. Showing Vets and Rooks alike, how it’s done.

Rabin wants to play this week. And I’ll do what he wants (see above). We had enough canceled games this season to throw in an extra official one. Hopefully Daveo and Steveo don’t play and this doesn’t come back and bite me in the ass (since I’m out). Both trail TD leader (me!) by 7 scores. So we play this week and the week after Purim. Then we call it a season.

Who wants 19.5?

PS – I’ll send updated stats tomorrow.

3/31/2014

My sappy final game and season recap later in the week. Just for now want to say that it has been another great season of the game we call Jewball. 44 players, 17 regular season games, and 3 Bowl games. More to come on all that in the Recap.

But the Recap needs to include the announcing of our 2013 Season MVP. We’ve done it different ways in the past. Sometimes it’s clear. Sometimes it’s based on who tallied most Jewball Awards over a season. And at least once we had the players vote. It’s not clear this year. It’s very close on the tally and although Rabin leads by .5 with 3 Jewballs after the one Snow and Daveo shared this week (more to come on that), Rabin’s season is very top heavy when it comes to his best performances. So, we’ll vote:

If you have played in 5 or more games you can vote and you are eligible. Make up your own criteria, but use the stats attached as a guide. A Jewball MVP is not just someone who puts up numbers. It’s also about commitment to the game and the intangible qualities that make someone a Jewballer.

For example, Nuss is an excellent candidate. Besides the fact that I feel guilty for kneeing him in the kidneys. He comes in from Brooklyn in any weather to join the game. And he’s crazy! Matt, same idea, but less crazy. Kut. he took a knish out of his pants mid-game and ate it! B-sh. He plays through injury and gives max effort like no one else. Tom. Played in 19 of 20 Jewball games this year – more than anyone else.

So, there it is. Vote away. You can vote yourself. And should if you deserve it. I’m voting for myself. Maybe not first, but…why the hell not?

Vote for your top 3. 1.) Your Top Pick 2.) Second Pick 3.) Lowest Pick.

Top pick is 5 points, Second is 3 and Lowest is 1. Highest aggregate score is your MVP.

4/4/2014

Another Jewball season comes to a close. I’m gonna say our 9th in Long Island. Before that, as many of you know, we were in Queens. I always like to remind everyone of our history. That we come from somewhere. That everyone who joins in a given year – whether it be this year with people like Rahmanan, Eliahu, Mark, Alex, Joe, Nuss, Rhino, Kovi, Rugby, and a bunch more – they are taking their place in an expanding universe of talent, and most importantly, excellent human beings (the best consistent group I’ve ever known), that have shown time and time again that fellow Jewballers and the game – the skills and intensity required to play this physical, violent winter sport in all conditions – is valued above all. Listen, I’m 36 by now. It happened. It’s hard to even see the number in black and white. It’s seems like it’s someone else’s age,,,but I keep doing the math and there it is. My point is not that despite the years, I am very grateful that I can still play the game. My point is not that I recognize that there will come a time where I won’t be able to play (I, in fact, don’t recognize that and can’t imagine it will ever happen). My point is that I have been around the block. I’ve worked various jobs and I’ve gone to schools and I’ve been entrenched in different communities. And I’ve met and been associated with some awesome people. But, with full confidence, and realizing that many people overlap from other areas of my life, I can say that my Jewball family is the one that I am most proud of, that I feel most real with, that I know I can rely on if it were ever needed, that will not let you down, that always picks you up, that brings out the best, and seems to miraculously reinvent itself every year and still provide the injection of LIFE that we all need to get through the difficult @$#* around us. It reminds us that life and physical health and people are a gift.

We go back to Queens where I met B-sh and Rabin, and they took me in to their game. A game they got from Alan Milchmen (whom we never met) with his answering machine sign up and 49ers hat (according to Jewball legend). Where I rolled with JK and Sokes for many, many years (yup, those 3 on 3s with official QB!). Then we drove in from LI to Queens until it became ridiculous, since more players were driving in than not. So we made Yakir drive to us…until her retired. And we’ve been doing pretty well ever since. A lot of great people coming and going. And so new blood is literally new blood. All the names listed above who appeared this year – you are new blood being transfused into the Jewball body. New blood means new life. We live on, we play on. We see each other on the field until all the fields are under water.

Week 20 was interesting because MVP was on the line. And it actually made a difference. Snow racked up another win and Rabin took a loss, allowing the images of his early season dominance to fade further into memory. Snow, Zez, and Daveo were the best QB, best offensive player, and the best defensive player on the field that day. That combination was too much for Rabin and his team to overcome.

It was nice on the final game of the season to be on the turf which makes every game an event. It was nice to have maxed out teams of 8 on 8. Great to see Rabin, our longest tenured player, on the same field as Rahmanan, our freshest of the new blood. Great to see B-sh coming back from the injury strong, lining up with BD – because they share a Jewball heart that beats like no other (except maybe Matt’s). Great to see Tom, Eliahu, Kut, and Mintz…all new, but seem to get what we are doing here completely…and congratulations to Tom for finally stealing an Iron Man crown from BD for highest percentage of games played during the season. It was great to see the O brothers and Judah who also represent that young blood and talent, which keeps the future bright and gives someone like me a reason to stay sharp.

The game was pretty one sided. Snow commanded a relentless attack using Daveo’s speed and Zez’s brute toughness (yes, he completely knocked me on my ass, like I was a seven year old girl standing in his way). Kut did his thing and, as usual, produced. And that line was just too much for someone even as fierce as Judah to handle alone. And so it was a 5-2 final. Snow threw 4 of ’em. Daveo ran one in and caught one. Zez caught a gorgeous bomb (and added a pick to his magnificent stat line), as did Kut. Tom added another on a broken defensive stand. Rabin hooked up with Judah on a really nice high grab in traffic. And later, one more time for the record books, the old guys put some magic together. Rabin to Jordan over the top and a sideline scamper for a score. With that, Jordan scores his 18th TD of the season and actually holds on to TD Leader for the first time in Jewball history (a distinction he has held twice going into the final game of the season and each time it was snatched from him by the likes of Uri and then Mighty). Other winners include Ike and Yakir. Gentlemen, it is my honor to join you at this late stage in my career. Daveo came in second place with 13 TDs and he played in seven less games than Jordan. The lessons. 1.) Daveo is better than Jordan and 2.) Need to play games.

Daveo gets half a Jewball for the big early defensive stops and the 2 scores to give his team an edge and Snow gets the other half for the sick passes all day.

The lesson of attendance equals stats equals awards was further learned by Zez who would have had monster stats had he also played in more than 8 games. The ironic twist of course is that Zez played 8 and Daveo played 8…and they did not get a trophy this season. Yet, Dov Snow, slimmed down and ready to party, also with 8 regular season appearances, does get an award. Based on the votes by the players, Snow is our 2013 Jewball MVP. B-sh got a lot of love, but in the end, it was Snow who took the early vote lead and held on until the end. Congratulations, Dov Snow. As I’ve always said, the success of Jewball is hinged on quality football. We can be the nicest guys in the world and want to be out there and show up and all that – and that’s swell – but if the football is low quality, there really is no point. And Snow is our MVP, I believe, because he insists on quality football. Yes, he is a gamer and shows up, but when he is running a team, we know, that at least on one side of the ball, there will be professionalism, crispness, thoughtful plays, and execution….and that raises the quality of each game, which makes Jewball something worth coming out for. That, even more important than the win, makes someone an MVP.

Jewballers, it was a nice, long season. From October to late March. It was a memorable one. We had a tournament again. We had a steady diet of turf. A few tackle games. We break now for about six months and we return, stronger, faster, and more motivated than ever to play the game we love.

Have a great summer, all.

See you on the field,

Player	Games	TDs	Picks	TDs Thrown	MVP	Sack
Rabin	11	2	1	28	3
Matt	11	2	2
Jordan	15	18	2		1
Steveo	12	11	6
Daveo	8	13	1		0.5	1
BD	10	2	1			1
B-sh	13	1				8
Kut	8	9	1			1
Stern	1
Eli	1
Ben	6	3	1
Judah	10	5	1			7.5
O	1					1
Brevda	1
Landau	10
Schreier	8			8	1	1
Tom	16	10	4	4	1
Mintz	12	6	3
Ike	3		2
Eliahu	14	1	1
Show	4		3			1
Zez	8	10	3	10	2
Kovi	2		1
Nussin	9	4	1			1
Rugby	6	4			1
Rose	4	5
Rhino	2
Klein	4	1	1
Mark	2	4		6
Barry	1
Max	1
Sacks	1
Joe	1
Beard	1
Snow	8			21	2.5
Chanan	2	1
Alex	3
Mighty	2	2	3		1
Meir	4	2		9
Socks	1
Yehudah	1
Mo	1
Rahmanan	2

Player	Jewballs
Shalom Prager	2
Jason Schlessel	1
Yaron Markfeld	1
Srulie Dachs	1
Kuti Roberg	1

Pos	Club	W	L
1	Reapers	2	0
2	Gorillaz	1	0
2	Carnivores	1	1
4	Blunts of Prime	0	2
4	Duck Dynasty	0	1