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9/9/14

Sup Jewballers!

Summer is over. The NFL season has begun. Eli Manning looks like he’s ready for Rabin’s Go East Persian QB Training Camp.

Our season of 20 Regular Season Games and 3 Bowl Games will kick off the day after Yom Kippur – October 5.

We should get in at least 2 pre season games before that.

If you want to play this Sunday, let me know. I can organize, but can’t make it. If you can hold out until 9/21 we’ll do our first pre-season game then.

Hope everyone is in football shape and ready to make history. Trophies from last season will be given out October 5th. And yes, I did get one for myself and looking to defend my TD Leader title. I’m sure Snow is looking to do the same.

Good time now to start recruiting as we never know who we may have lost to injury, family obligations, or, chas v’shalom, competing leagues! Send me any contacts for players who look like Jewball material.

Can’t wait to see y’all on the field,

J

9/10/14

Today was a good day for Jewball.

My week started off with Daveo saying he was out for most of the season. When your young money receiver bows out, that’s a bad start. Then Mark, our QB with the thoroughbred legs and offensive coordinator play calling let me know he got married and moved to LA (mazal tov).

So, a bit worried. But then Alex calls me yesterday and says he played high school football and wants in and today Evan sent me six new players raring to go. All are here now and hopefully new blood sparks a special season.

For the new people, I copied the email I sent earlier this week below so you get the idea.

First things first, we have 7 signed up for Sunday: Tom, Judah, Eliahu, B-sh, BD, Snow, Singer (one of them). That means we need 7 or 9 more to make it a game. Gonna be nice out.

Probably will play at Barret, but I’ll let you know.

There is no second thing except that Zez has the gear and will get it to someone to get to the field. He is hosting a kids carnival at White Shul from 12-4 (free plug) and he is injured I think…but as usual, we want TALENT coming down to games. Jewball works when the games are good.

Let me know about Sunday,

J

9/13/14

Soft count is we have 14-16 for tomorrow.

BD is bringing gear.

In the great tradition of Jewball pre-season (as O reminded me) there is no lockouts and there are no pre-determined teams. We – for whatever reason – have the QBs choose up. And so we will observe this tradition and Snow and Tom/Schrier will choose up on the field.

I wish I was there to welcome all the new people personally…but that’ll be next Sunday.

Enjoy.

We go 9:30-11:15 at Barret Park on Jadwin Street. If that field is taken, can head up to the field at corner of Mill and Hungry Harbor….and there is always No. 6. You guys know the drill. I hope Barret is open. We’ve had very good luck there pre-season.

9/29/14

No reason not to start this week unless the holiday break makes it an odd choice. I don’t see why we can’t play through the holidays as nothing falls out on a Sunday.

Who is up for WEEK 1 this Sunday – 9:30-11:15, field TBD.

If you need some pumping up, here it is: You just spent 3 days eating and sleeping! The toughest thing you did was….pray! Over the next 3 weeks you will eat more, drink more, sleep more, pray more, and occasionally shake something that weighs a pound.

The NFL is in full swing. Do you not watch these games with a  longing to get out there and show the world what you got, how hard you hit, how doggedly you chase, how acrobatically you catch!

Everyone watches football in the winter….but there is NOTHING that rivals playing the game and then following it. Put aside the excuses and get your Jewball on.

I say we start this week.

Who wants some?

9/30/14

Sick, sick WEEK 1 we have brewing for a post YK Jewball kick off event. Snow will be given his 2013 MVP Trophy (ordered, hopefully ready). TD Leader will be given his trophy (yes, for those keeping score, that is me buying myself a trophy), and the record books will be erased as we start anew. Who will put up the big numbers? Who will make Jewball history. Who will rise and who will fall? Who will live and who will die? Who by fire and who by water? Who by….wait, sorry, confusing two things.

So far in: Jordan, Tom, Mighty, AK, Sobel, Matt, Zez, Snow, Rabin, Judah, Socks, Schreier, Landau.

Have spots for 1-3 more.

Now to some other Jewball business.

As many of you know, veteran Jewballer Evan Blachman has been running various leagues known as Croton Leagues. We all know his loyalty is mainly to us even though many of you will disappear when his Sunday league starts, but I guess some people like a good hour of football Sunday mornings when the weather is nice enough for it. I’m really not bitter. Really. I respect all games.

Although Jewball on LI will continue and be playing our 11th season out here (that’s a mad thought) on sunday mornings, I’m checking to see if there is interest in a competitive Jewball night league team to play in Croton.

Games would start October 28th at Aviator in Brooklyn. It’s a 16 game regular season and every team is guaranteed at least one playoff game. Games are Tuesday or Wednesday night. We would need $1500 for the team which breaks down to $150 a player if we get ten players. I think we get jerseys for the price of admission. If we get more players, the price would be cheaper and I guess everyone would play in less games. Like if we get 20 people and everyone pays $75, everyone can get 8 games.

I don’t know if I can play every game or will want to, but if it looks like we have a team interested and willing to pay (and actually paying), I’ll make the minyan and organize things. The more I think about it, the better it sounds, but it will require real $ commitments and a well rounded team. Meaning, a QB, linemen, WRs….

Attached are final stats from last year. As of this sunday at 9:30, they are irrelevant.

J

10/4/14

Hope all are ready to break out after a day of inner reflection.

We have a good one for you to kick off the season. Our MVP trophy from last year will be handed out (see attached) and it’s anyone’s for the taking this year. We will be giving out MVP, TD Leader, and a new trophy called Jewball 2014 Most Wins as we track each player’s individual win/loss record for the first time.

Tomorrow we go 9:30-11:15 and we will start at Lawrence High School, hoping for the best – if the field is taken…No. 6 will be open (certainly half of it will be). But we’ll start at LHS – that is on Peninsula Blvd – turn on Arlington.

BLUE:

Rabin – QB

Matt

Munch

Alex

Mighty

Sobel

Schreier

Jordan

WHITE

Snow – QB

Tom

AK

Judah

Socks

Landau

Singer

Kut

I’ll add that Schreier would not mind a replacement due to a foot injury so if anyone wants in (or out) let me know and I’ll adjust teams if needed.

See you on the field,

J

10/7/14

It’s always good to get a WEEK 1 in. It is a sign that we’re still here. Playing the game. We had a decent field, a bit muddy (did you see that one guy lose his footing and go airborne), but pretty nice out there with sun shining and even some kids in helmets and pads getting berated by their coach off to the side to give us a little ambience.

A lot of talent came out WEEK 1, many with their eyes on the prizes. A lot of talk about who would repeat as MVP, how many TDs a human could put up in 20 games, who would win 4-2….and the talk becomes moot once the game starts.

And this game started well for Rabin who faced off against reigning MVP Snow. It was shovel to Mighty being Mighty and with Munch out blazing the trail, Blue goes 80 yards to take 1-0 lead.

But from there…it was a complete breakdown by Blue…on all levels. Defense, offense, and even special teams and coaching which we don’t have. If Blue had a GM, his job would be in jeopardy. If Blue had an owner, the fans would be calling for him to sell. If Blue had fans, they’d be wearing bags on their heads. Those bags would be wearing bags.

The frustrating thing is, the teams were actually competitive. White ends up winning 5-1, but it was much closer than that.

AK scores on a 90 yard run where it was bad tackling/flag pulling from the start. Tom does the same thing at 40 yards. And then it was Rabin throwing two P6s to AK from his own 3 yard line, twice….in a row! But Rabin also threw two TD passes that were catchable and not caught (Mighty, Jordan). I’lll say this about Rabin on Sunday, he was let down by his team a few times….but he also didn’t do the things it would take to make up for those mistakes. Instead it was a 3 pick day, all 3 resulting in scores for White.

TOP PLAYS – Snow to Singer like Manning to Thomas all day making Jordan’s D look…tired. Mighty great pick and safety defense. Singer and Mighty wrestling for a ball in the endzone, advantage Singer. Munch instructing Rabin that when you send the safety out his defender can rush the QB unopposed. Daveo for trying to get in but no one came to even it up.

KLAN – Judah for the no show

MVP – Rabin, for two game changing TD passes to AK and sick throw to Socks, which….oh…what? He was on…..ooooh, okay, sorry. Jewball to AK for the gaudy WEEK 1 numbers. 3 scores and 2 Picks. But remember all, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.

New 2014 stats are attached. Notice the new column for your personal record.

We can definitely try WEEK 2 this Sunday, but I’ll need at least 14 in and two legit QBs.

Let me know,

J

10/20/14

Not a close a game as you would have expected.

Believe it or not, Meir beats Snow 4-1.

Stats are attached and full recap to follow, but wanted to get this out there before I left the office.

Jewball – ON EVERY LEVEL – goes to Meir.

As you all know, your Jewball is not your typical MVP Award. It’s not just based on points scored or plays made. We have given out Jewballs for someone agreeing to play official offense to keep the teams “even.” We give out Jewballs for wearing shorts on a freezing cold day and playing line. Most of the time it’s about the numbers, but not always.

Meir Stein – whom I recall made his Jewball debut as a skinny teenager! A fast as hell WR who wore a Jets jersey. A few year later he brought his even skinnier brother in a floppy ski hat to play in the one game we ever played in Far Rockaway on the grass, dirt, and mostly glass field. Meir disappeared for a few years due to his year in Israel and whatever else came up.

And he returned as a non-nonsense QB. Munch returned as a vicious D lineman and all around presence.  

Last week Meir had his first kid, a boy. On Shabbat, the boy, B’H, had his bris, and is now closer than ever to playing Jewball. The following day (with a major Munch assist), Meir came down, had 2 picks, threw 4TDs to 4 different receivers, and really beat a better team (at least on paper). Now that is the way to earn Jewball.

Mazal Tov, Meir, Munch, and the whole Stein crew,

10/21/14

Many commented upon seeing the teams that this may have been the most pound for pound talent ever on a Jewball field at the same time. Yes, I realize many Jewball legends and greats were not on the field, but it was just one of those weeks where you look at BLUE and you say…whoa…they are for sure gonna win, and then you see WHITE, and you are like….whoa….this team can’t lose.

One team had Snow throwing to Mighty and Singer with O and Warman on the line, plus a talented supporting cast including speed demon Mordy, elusive sure handed Mintz, and all around gamer Tom (who sat at 2-0 after 2 games).

The other team had Meir throwing to Steveo and Socks with Judah and Munch rushing the passer, and a supporting cast of Jordan, Kut, and Rose.

Game could have gone either way. With Snow and his weapons, the mismatches were there. With Munch and Judah on the attack, would he have time to throw. Would someone have an off day? Would someone have a surprisingly big day?

The answer was yes and yes, and it made what should have been a much closer game into a pretty dominant 4-1 win, Meir over Snow.

Snow was more calculating than usual. Played it safe for most of the game. Short passes, chipping away. Problem is, first downs need at least one big play to happen, and on the opening few drives, the chipping away did not suffice. Meir also happened to squander his first possession, throwing a pick to Mintz, but Meir’s defense seemed to get the big stop at some point during every attempted drive. Only one ball got through for a score – a contested goal line jump ball that Singer wrestled down (as is his specialty).

Meir, however, broke through first and often, mainly by taking advantage of Snow’s curious decision to play zone D. Zone D leaves holes and soft spots and Meir was sharper than a mohel’s knife on Sunday. He was locked in from tip off. He cut right through their defenses. He was an orlah goyim. As Walt Frazier might say, he terrorized and circumcised.

As indicated by yesterday’s email, it was Meir’s day. Snow was just not on enough and had some balls sail deep. His receivers were not as reliable as they could have been and a few sure scores were dropped. Plus, Meir picked Snow twice. And whether it was Munch deep, Kut even deeper, Jordan running 95 yards, or Judah sealing the deal, Meir was making it happen. Whatever he came up with…worked.

And there you have it. A highly competitive game with a one-sided score. Would be happy to rematch this one if possible.

Meir got Jewball the other day.

All stat races are neck and neck, though big O is pulling away a bit at Sack Leader. Singer takes over TD leader from AK by a score. QBs are pretty much neck and neck. Kut and Judah are the only undefeated players to have played in multiple games.

Let me know about WEEK 4,

10/25/14

Our 19 became 16 before Shabbos, then 17, then 16, then 18.

18 is no good unless the last two (Munch and his Plus 1) agree to play line both ways. Otherwise the rotation gets out of hand and people get stuck on line forever. Anyway, I’m making the teams with 16 and Munch and his guy can decide later if playing line and being out there is worth it (obvious answer is YES).

BLUE

• Snow – QB
• Zez
• Socks
• Sobel
• Steveo
• Mintz
• Eliahu
• Mordy

WHITE

• Meir – QB
• Singer
• Mighty
• Ben
• Tom
• Judah
• Klink (yup, that dude)
• Matt

Yes, I know I split Singer and Dov up. Hey, this isn’t pres-season Croton, this is Jewball. Yes, I’m out…I’ll bring gear and film, cuz I have softball championships Monday night and I don’t want to play with a swollen finger like I did last week in the semi-finals due to football. Not fair to the team.

Game is 9:45-11:15 on the grass at Lawrence High School.

See you on the field,

10/28/14

I’m not recapping WEEK 4. Wasn’t a game. It looked great on papers. Meir, coming off a phenomenal showing against Snow who is last year’s MVP. Both teams were loaded. Game just never got off the ground. Meir threw 5 (he’ll tell you 6) picks. The last was the final play of the game, a P6 to Steveo making it 4-0. And no one can win like that. Snow is perfectly effective. Moved the ball, put up points, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Every drive Meir mounted stalled, whether with a pick, a drop in the endzone, or someone running into Snow’s forearm.

Stats are attached. If I’m missing something, let me know.

MVP is Snow for the QB performance, 3 TDs thrown, a pick, and a crushing goal line stand.

WEEK 5 is next week – quarter of the season down. I know Rabin is back. I know Snow is out…so we need a second QB. Hopefully Meir looks for a bounce back.

And then we come to the rest of the season.

Croton starts the following week, that would be our Week 6. I happen to know a bunch of our players are playing in that league and will be out. I happen to have a pretty booked November as well. What I don’t want is for people to rely on Jewball for games and there won’t be enough to make them. I also do not plan on making games if they won’t be quality.

We will of course have Bowl Games on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, and we’ll be around when Croton ends, but tell me now if you will be unavailable for Jewball during the Croton season. The reason is, maybe we make a team, play Croton, and then continue Jewball once that season is done. Worth looking into.

Let me know about WEEK 5 and beyond,

J

11/4/14

In a game that has seen its share of ebbs and flows over the years, a tournament in Week 5 is a good sign. For a word of mouth game with zero advertising and only its players – current and former – as advocates, 24 people showing up on a wind battered Sunday morning is promising. That promise will be tested in the next few months as Croton League commences, but…more about that later.

We had a tournament before. Two years ago, the Jesus Bowl featured 4 teams of 6 and it was a glorious day, much thanks to Jesus. Not sure what team he was on, but he had a pick and a sack. In that game, me, Zez, Rabin, Judah, Yakir, and B-sh took the improbable victory home. We beat Snow and first appearance Singer in the finals.

This past Sunday was a different experience. While, as Jewball commish, I am proud to have had 24 people play our game this past week….as a Jewball player (first an foremost)…it was a nightmare. Rabin lost to Snow in Game 1 and then to Meir on a last second play in Game 2. Our team fumbled, bumbled, and dropped its way to last place. So, not sure what to take away from Sunday. All I feel is depressed about it.

Not sure how it treated you. I know there were issues with the teams, mainly because I didn’t know a bunch of the guys who signed up. I didn’t know Emanuel was Rugby. I didn’t know the talent levels. I didn’t know I couldn’t catch. But, regardless, I’m a firm believe that anyone can win. Just look at the team above that won the tournament 2 years ago.

One thing I do know is that Snow is a winner (Zez, you are a winner too…but not on this day….but you have that drive that few have…Rabin has it too). I also know that Snow has brought down tremendous talent to our game so far this year. As a commissioner always looking for new blood, new life, new exposure (and I don’t mean Zez yanking down my pants), I am really happy with the new faces and talent we have added this year. From Singer to Sobel to the guys who came down Sunday (Yoel and Skol), may we see them again once Croton ends. And who is that new guy everyone was calling Doggy who threw in the finals? He looked decent. And that another new guy, Klink. Looks like he knows what he is doing.

MVP of the tournament is Snow. That’s one MVP, though he and those on his team get 2 Ws for their efforts (while my crew pockets two Ls). I’ll need you to send me your stats since there was a lot going on. I kind of know my games (Baum P6 and TD, Yoel TD, Steveo 2 TDs, Jordan TD, Landau Sack…) but there was more, and certainly in the games I wasn’t part of.

We have a quarter of our season done, and I am not giving up on it. Or taking an official break. We need to continue, we always have. 20 Weeks, 3 Bowl Games, snow, wind, rain, or shine.

Who is in for WEEK 6?

1/26/15

There is something to be said for getting back out there. After a two months break in the action, Jewball returned with an allstar cast and a few surprises, but there wasn’t much game to speak of. Between the ice patches, slippery, snow covered field, and a one sided game, the resurrection of Jewball was in theory only. If it weren’t for the surprises, WEEK 6 would have been a tough pill to swallow. The surprises included the appearance of two HAFTR freshmen dropped off just looking for a game. Twins, Tiki and Ronde (aka Henry and William, aka Hank and Billy) came out of nowhere to flip the Jewball record book on its head, by not only being the youngest players ever to don the Jewball belts, but also added records as youngest Jewballer to record picks and put up points. Most importantly, they are now the youngest Jewballers ever to rag on Rabin. It was also a great day for Jewball enthusiasts to welcome the return of B-sh, wearing shorts and enough gear to keep his thrice torn knee together. Landau made his season debut as well…so….always good to get the expendables back together.

That said, the game was weak. Speaking as someone who has some sort of injury that just doesn’t seem to want to heal, I’m frustrated, but  moreso because the quality of the game is down, and less about my own personal struggles to get my legs back. We need two QBs who can compete. Bottom line. Every week. Like I said, great seeing everyone. Great watching Show get bullied by and then bully a bar mitzvah boy, but we need competitive games back. And to do that we need two QBs who have a chance of beating each other on any given sunday.

MVP of this blow out (I left at 4-1) is Steveo for I think 4 scores and 2 picks.

This Sunday will be tackle if we get a game because the snow is a comin. Let me know about WEEK 7.

J

9/21/15

My first thought after yesterday’s game was….I’m done. Between the back tightening up on the drive home, the 4 drops, and the inability to even remotely react to a Singer cut, I said to myself who am I kidding? This is not your game anymore….

But, you wake up the next day. The back recovered overnight, you convince yourself that drops happen, especially in the Preseason (and that’s why you play it, to get the rust off), and Singer will eventually slow down too and you’ll be waiting for him.

The Preseason game was very Preseasony. Nice to see familiar faces. Our Jewball Vets are starting to look like war vets. BDs hair was incredibly poofy. Only Evan, Snow, and Steveo (and Kut too, actually) seemed to have some something in the tank. The rest I of us, will hopefully get there. The exciting part of the game was seeing some young talent. This guy Mordy Katz is a real GAMER. Very intense. Would have loved to have had him in our game like 5 years ago when we were all racing around like he does now. And he brought Mojo Richter (aka Rick) who made some great catches. He either had just a good day or he has above average hands. He also has that Jewball smartass character. MK, can you get me his email so I can add him here. And then we have the twins, Bill and Hank. 15 apiece. Serious ballers. Any game we can get them, we’re better for it. Bill handles the huddle (and he was talking to men double his age) like the most poised pro. And he picked apart the D Brady style.

The game ended in a tie (yes, Snow, unless you won by 1, which didn’t happen, unless it did). It was a pretty light game. With the exception of Evan, MK, and the few times Rick stiffarmed or tossed around Hank and Bill, it was a pretty low key game. Back and forth scoring. Snow’s team, which was white, so Snow White played a zone D so it was kind of easy to score. Evan got picked off the first two possessions of the game which turned into Snow White points – to Kut!  But once Evan settled in he was zipping passes and completions. Jordan dropped a bunch, but Rick picked up the slack. In the end, Snow had a chance to win the game, but failed to score and Blue was given a chance to tie, and that’s when Bill was given a shot at QB and he just marched it down White’s throat.

The prospects for this Season are still up in the air. There is far fewer available fields, because, as B-sh said, the lawyers are messing it up for everyone. He’s probably right. No. 6 should be available at 10 am each week until maybe HALB starts locking the place up for work.  We’ll see.

I know everyone likes football, but anyone want to get an Ultimate Game going? That’s something I’m actually really good at.

Dave-o Commissioner Era

10/17/15

So after an almost end to Jewball, we have new life. We had 19 maybe 20 sign ups. We have a few new Rooks, who helped this season happened. 

 Teams for this week 

Blue
Qb- Snow
Kut
Effie
Jason
Eli press
Mordy
Jacibowits
O

White
Qb- Daveo
Steve-o
Mojo
Tom
Jordan
Avi Soep
Bosh
Bd

10/21/15

have been dreading this email here’s the Week 1 recap:

The Dave-O Qb experiment was a failure. I will admit it. This is a quick recap. Mordy, Mordy, Mordy, Mordy, Mordy, Mordy, and Snow. I don’t have stats but if you remembered and want me to record them email them to me.

Ok Week 2: The return of Rabin
Who’s in?  We had a great turn out last week so sign up fast. We’ll play at Lawrence high school until the first week of December then the six school is ours.

Let’s go people! Jewball lives Forever!

10/29/15

I know this is late, but i have been extremely busy. So lets go

Week 2 Recap
   Week 2 really was like week 1. The dust was brushed off, great weather for football. The teams came down ready to play. Rabin looking to make an MVP comeback season as he always does, Dave-o looking for his rival Jordan nowhere to be found, new faces, what could be better. So with the game getting started, we played 6 vs. 6. Rabin warmed up already, calls his second play from the line of scrimmage. Here’s the call; Rabin walks out of the huddle with so much confidence, his eye on the prize. He checks down the defense… HIKE. Rabin drops back to throw, pressure coming, rabin throws it, Interception! Assi is running it back, the 20, the 10, the 5, TOUCHDOWN!!!!

    The game went back and forth for a while, with great defense from both sides. With some great plays happening from The O’s. Steve-O with a TD on the offensive side, and saving a TD on the defensive side.
Dave-O making an incredible play and catch.

    It all came down to Rabin though. He pioneered his team to victory, with his full stat line
2 tds thrown 2 Rushing TD 2 Int 3 Int Thrown. He comes away with his first jewball of the season. Can this be Rabins year????

Who’s in Week 3? We’ll play 9:15-11:15 at Lawrence high school, the grass not turf.
If you sign up  please show up or let me know Saturday night. We have a lot of people who wanna come play.

 Jewball Alive Jewball Forever
The Commissioner

11/18/15

First thing, A HUGE Congratulations to “Big Daddy” BD on the birth of a future jewballer baby boy on Monday.

Since there was no game last week, i will give a better recap for Zezzy. On that beautiful Sunday morning, everyone was ready to play. The lacing up of the cleats, that Velcro sound of the gloves, the old
pigskin being tossed back and forth. Zezzy came ready to play, Zezzy came ready to win. As this was Zezzy’s last game before Croton, he wanted to use Rabin as a tune up game, but Rabin wasn’t gonna let
that happen. So Zezzy takes ball first. 1st down incomplete, 2nd down, incomplete, the defense is tight, but Zezzy found hole a hole. 3rd down blitz is imminent, but Zezzy is ready, Hike! The blitz comes
rushing in, the line trying to hold them back, then the play happens. Dave-O breaks off the line as the TE, he’s wide open. Zezzy throws him a beautiful pass, and he high-steps it into the end-zone for the first
score of the game and the lead that would not be relinquished. That was one of the six Touchdowns that jewball winning Zezzy threw. It was a good game, i think peopled enjoyed playing. we should probably do it again.

There was some controversy in last weeks game In a follow up, i was told that diving is……… ALLOWED. Just like in the NFL we admit that there was a blown call, but just like them we wont do anything
about it.

ok everyone lets sign up this time. Honestly I’m gonna have to find more people play to play because obviously having 115 on a list is not enough to find 12 people to play.
So who’s in for week 5.
Lets Go People

12/31/15

Well it wasn’t a white Jesus bowl, but it happened that’s what counted. Even with the odds against us we played and I’m proud to be a jewballer and play with you all.

Jewball for the game goes to Ari Horowitz. With three tds including what turned out be the game winning catch.
In a battle that went into overtime. With Rabin leading down the field and into the Redzone, came up a little short. For a final score of 4-3.

Now we come to this week. I know it’s New year’s weekend, and what better way to follow through on your resolutions. Get off your butts and come play. We’re back at the number six school. We’ll play 9:15-11:15 who’s in?

1/19/16

So after a few no shows  We still managed to have a game. A great 5 on 5 would have been nice instead we had a four on four parrot with David and Bubba playing quarterback you knew it would be a high scoring game. Dave-O threw for six tds just not all to his team. Throwing to pick 6. Jewball goes to Steve-O. He won it fair and square even though Jordan was close.

So Croton is on a three week break, which means we have all the talent back. We’ll go 9-11:15 Lawrence high school. The turf should be open as well so let’s start there. Who’s in?

Also a let’s hear it for the simcha squad making to the championship (again)! They never disappoint

9/5/16

9/13/16

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBAAAAAAAAAAALL. Can you feel it, can you smell it, do the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. I know that sensation you get when you first lace up those cleats, and walk on to the field for the first time of the seasons. That same feeling you get after a long week and you open up that beer, or better stuff (depending on the week). It’s the feeling that you have been waiting
for. The most dramatic show ever written is back, and with that means that is time for Jewball to come back.

I know that I have been waiting for this week for 213 days, but who counting. This year is a clean state, everyone has a chance at the Jewball scoring title, Defensive Player of the Year, and the coveted
Jewballer of the Year. Now i know he may have lost a couple steps, but as he is still technically the reigning Scoring Champion, i am calling you out Jordan. I am coming for what is rightfully mine.

We have the players, we have the talent, we may have a field somewhere now we just need the responses. i Know after this is sent we will have at least 3 or 4 people in within minutes. Games are serious, even though this will be preseason.

Who else is in?
9 am game starts so be there 8:45 am. field is a good question, I think will try barrett. Come on people time to lace them up!!!!!!!!!

Ok sorry for the late email but tomorrow at 9 we start. Lets actually try Lawrence high school I’ll go early and see if we can play there. Teams

BLUE
Rabin
Bubba
Munchies
Eli skolnick
Steveo
Effie
Yaakov Schreiber

White
Jon S.
Mier Singer
Josh
Bosh
Daveo
Jonathan burak
Eli press

14 guys 7 on 7 let’s do this,  try to get there 845 so we can actually start on time.

12/8/16

From Dave-o,

People, friends, family, and my teammates this is for you.

Jewball has helped me into manhood and has become much more than just some silly little pickup league. It has become part of me and i hope part of many who haved played. It has been an honor to walk on the field with so many of the greats Snow the MVP, THE B-SH, Rabin, and the one true Commish Jordan. I truly hope to walk among you Jewball Hall of Fame. To Steveo who brought me in and made this part of my life. To those who I have helped make your Sundays a little better, I thank you for helping make the games. We’ve had a good run and it’s time to almost hang them up for now. The many connections that I have made and the bond of teammates is unbelievable. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing, I would change a couple of Rabins throws that would have led to me winning the scoring title against Jordan. Yet i digress. As I venture into new and exciting things in my life, I hope one day to return to that glorious feeling of going up for a pass and coming down in the endzone. So I leave you in the best hands that you could be left in. My mentor and spiritual animal JTrick. So for one last time all i have to say is…….. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!

Let’s go people, don’t do it for yourself cause you got fat. Do it for me. Let me leave feeling good that i had put together one last great game. So lets make it one to remember, one that when you’re walking down the street with your grandkids you say “See that man over there, he helped us win the greatest game ever played”. That could be you, all you have to do is sign up and show ready to play. So do this for me you selfish bastards.

9 am at North Woodmere park this sunday.

Reply from: Jordan

Daveo….where the H are you going??? I thought I was just gonna take over rallying the troops…You’re semi-retiring??

Anyway, Jewballers, Daveo speech reminded me of every reason that I won’t hang up my cleats until I’m as washed up as Rabin was 5 years ago.

I can’t play this week due to Game Night at the Young Israel of North Woodmere which will feature Giants v. Cowboys, a bbq, wings, beer, NBA players, a Marine, and it’s totally FREE so if you’re not there at 7:30 (634 Hungry Harbor Road) you’re so stupid…but…I digress.

I’m gonna start doing these emails again, I’ll do recaps, I’ll do stats, I’ll score a lot of TDs in the season early and then lose TD leader to some smug a-hole like Uri or Mighty. I’ll do a JESUS BOWL, a 2017 BOWL, and a Vets Rookies. And I’ll start that next week. But….I need you guys to find that part of you that still has a shred of passion for getting out there and competing. We have had gorgeous Sundays the past few weeks. How did we not get a game??

I hope you give Daveo a game this week for all he has brought to the league. And then I hope we have a season.

See you on the field,

Return of Commissioner Jordan

12/19/16

So, it took me some time, and I apologize for missing the opportunity to call a game for yesterday, but I think a regrouping is what is needed more than anything else.

Truth is, Daveo had no shot. The list I left him is obsolete. I went through it. I took out the bad email addresses (and probably will still have to do more cleaning up now that I’m in gmail) and I removed the people who asked to be taken off.

What I am going to do next is the following:

1.) Anyone who does not confirm this email read by Wednesday, I am removing from the list.

Why? Not to be mean, but it’s a waste. Having 92 people on an email list is irrelevant if 6 people are reading the emails.

2.) On Thursday I am going to send a follow up (and I predict it will be to about 20 people). We will at that point have a list of 20. What we need to do is rebuild the list. With kids. We need players in their 20s and that is the only way to save this game, and, at the very least, when Daveo or someone else does return to take over Jewball, the game has an email list of actual players who are strong and passionate enough to play a 20 game season.

I can’t be the one to end this game. It started before me, and I’m not gonna see it crash on my watch (or close to my watch). If I can play another 2 years and use that time to rebuild the Jewball list, I’ll reture a happy man.

If you are reading this:

1.) Respond saying you read it

2.) If you want to keep this league alive, I need you to put in the time and get me 3-4 names and emails for young people who want to and can play the game (MIRACLE BOWL).

Not sure if we will get a game this Sunday, but let’s see where we are at on Thursday. For sure we should get in a JESUS BOWL and 2017 BOWL.

J

12/26/16

Just when it looked like we had no fuel left to light the Jewball future fire…..a Chanukah/Christmas miracle.

Between the new guys (Effie and Press), the regular Jewballers, some old school help (Yakir, O), and then a surprising addition of guys who play at 7:30 am!….we wound up with a very legit 6 on 6 to kick off the 2016-2017 campaign.

Who knows….maybe we are only getting started.

North Woodmere Park seems to be ours for the taking (even though it seems like the geese have claimed it as a toilet) and our numbers should grow. Let’s keep adding players and making Jewball the regular institution of laid back, high quality, two hour, gritty football it once was.

We begin with our search for a QB to go up against Rabin “Rookie of the Year” Rahmani. And I think we found one. Eli Press has a cannon arm and pretty nice pocket presence. He flame throws everything whether its short or long, and whether the receiver is wide open or there is only a tight window. Reminds me of certain Jewball legend, J “Sky” K. Once we settled in to Eli v. Rabin, there was a sense that we would be okay and the games could be competitive from here on out.

We begin, as always, with a sloppy Rabin. After multiple possessions with no progress either way, Rabin put a score on the board A score for the opposing White team as he threw a P6 to Press. Kut, playing safety, victimized Rabin a few more times, intercepting a pair of passes, forcing Blue to pull Rabin from QB and insert Carlos. Carlos proved infective as well, and Rabin promised that he would return and win the game. After a pick by Jordan, Rabin did lead the team downfield, using a spectacular 3rd and long over the shoulder sideline grab by Oren, and managed to put one in the endzone. Press found it difficult to convert on a few 4th and short yardage situations (with drops and errant throws equally being the culprits), and Rabin soon found a go-to receiver in Jordan, who scored off a 4 yard crossing pattern and then a 63 yard run.

But White was not going to give in. Steveo was a potent weapon on the day, showing that he has plenty of speed and playmaking skills left. Press used his legs and the height of Bubba Tom to move the ball and finally Steveo to score twice, putting White up 3-2 with twenty minutes left on the clock.

But Rabin was not done. After testing his receiving corps and finding many unreliable, he was injured on a scramble and cross the field the throw. But the injury only made him better and bolder. He called a deep bomb to Jordan on a 3rd and long. Jordan beat coverage down the left sideline and Rabin released his prettiest pass of the day. Complete! The drive ended in a second score for Jordan and a 3-3 tie.

With four minutes left in the game it was a next score wins situation and White ball, but the wily veteran Yakir made his mark with a backbreaking tip on 2nd and 7, the ball floated into the arms of Carlos, covering at safety, and just like that…Blue had the ball with a chance to score and win the game. Rabin to Jordan on their patented in-in-in-out play, which took the ball to the 3 yard line. Then Rabin called the most complicated half back, running back, full back, dot the i, tight end release play of all time….but it worked! Oren redeems himself for dropping 19 passes on the day (18 with his hands, 1 with his legs)…and catches the game winner!

Stats

• Kut – 2 Picks, 1 sack
• Steveo – 1 pick, 2 Tds
• Press – 1 pick, 1 TD, 2 TDTs,
• Rabin – 4 TDTs
• Jordan – 1 pick, 2TDs
• Oren – 1TD
• Missing a TD for my team…who scored it?

Top Plays

Oren faking out a ghost and then sitting down exhausted after his sideline reception. Yakir, Carlos, Oren, and Jordan all dropping TD passes on the same drive. Effie and B-sh being called “foodies.” Mark, Carlos and 7:30 am NW crew joining Jewball. B-sh for showing all of you lazy people that Jewball is life and life is Jewball and where there is a will there is a way and every other cliché that means get off your ass and fight! Press to Steveo on the out route, precise execution. Kut and Jordan first time ever two Lions jerseys on the field.

MVP

If Jordan would have kept two feet in/not bobbled that potential 3rd TD, this would have been easy, but even though the picks were heavy, Rabin threw 4 scores and lead the team back (plus, we dropped a bunch on him). So Rabin gets first MVP.

TD Leader

Tied 2. Jordan and Steveo

Keep sending email addresses to expand list.

Who wants WEEK 2?

Jordan

J

J

1/2/2017

Week 2 of this resurrected season and game was a gift.

Everything about it said, Here ya go…You guys have been loyal to your craft and dedicated to each other…so…here ya go.

Here ya go, it’s the first day of January and I’m giving you sun and mid-40’s temps.

Here ya go, super vet Jesus (of the Klink dynasty) will be available, returning from his move to Cincinnati.

Here ya go, Dov “MVP” Snow is in town – moved his flight for us – and we have a QB of superior caliber.

Here ya go, Zez is gonna test his physical limits and bounce back from injuries and give us a window in between procedures where his passion for the game will shine bright for another day.

Here ya go, Show is gonna see what he has left in the tank before the sun sets on a 4th decade.

Here ya go, the big O, my blood, can make it because it’s New Years day and he doesn’t need to work.

Here ya go, Rabin and Jordan, (along with B-sh) the last two standing from the original Queens game…strapping on their cleats like it’s a given that Sunday means Jewball whether you are 22 or 38.

Here ya go, Mighty is gonna get his game for the ages that he’s promised us for a good 3 years now, waiting to just takeover on offense and defense and give no one else a shot.

Here ya go, Bubba, Kut, Rugby, and Landau, as reliable a foursome of “new” players as Jewball has added to the saga over the past few years.

Here ya go, Rosey, you eat, sleep, and breathe competition, and to battle with you (softball or Jewball) is always an honor.

Here ya go, Effie, bringing that B-sh spirit. Shorts, beard, pure love of the game. Plus, you are the bridge to the newest Jewballers.

Next week it is freezing again. Next week O works, Jesus is back in Ohio, Snow in Chicago, Jewballers will be scattered….but in 2017….a game was played. Jewball had another day in another year.

Week 2 was one of those games where the score says bad game. And playing it was tough at times too. Any time you regroup and start a “second” game….that’s a bad sign, but…it actually was a good game, just one team played a lot better than the other.

Zezzy had a point. Although he is a tremendous leader and a fierce competitor (and he proved that he’s better than 99% of Jewballers even with a missing spine and six broken legs)….I didn’t give him a team. I overestimated myself, Rose, and Show and I way underestimated Rugby and Mighty. Snow can throw. Zez can throw. That’s a given. But Snow had incredible weapons at his disposal. Besides lightning fast Rugby, and Mighty once again doing things that made me question reality itself when he first burst onto the Jewball scene in 2011/12, there’s Kut and Tom. Those guys are sure handed and very tough. And Jesus!!! I figured for sure he’d give us that…I haven’t played in 2 years horrible out of shape effort where everything is sad and slow. But no….dude shows up looking like he’s been living in sunny L.A., not dreary, cold Cincy. And he played much better than I thought he would or could. Much better. Annoyingly better. And Landau! The way you pulled your groin 5 minutes into the game and stood on the sideline with two hands nestling your balls for 85 minutes straight….midseason form!!!!

So, although this will sound like an excuse for losing….Blue had no shot. White was white hot. Mighty played the safety of his life and whenever he caught the ball it was Neo dodging bullets.

But Zezzy really did give Blue a chance. Despite his real lingering (and surgery requiring) injuries, he tapped into his inner Zezzy and began to fly around the field and power his team….but we really let him down. Just not enough in our collective tanks. Blue was able to drive a bunch of times, but had endless red zone difficulties. White played zone all day and it worked because they made it work. As mentioned, safety play was phenomenal, pass rush was pretty aggressive…and Blue didn’t have enough answers.

So it was a special day for our game with a lot of fan favorites coming out, and the football was actually decent, but the scores tells another story. In two games (combined), White beats Blue, 6-2.

I know Rugby scored 1, Mighty might have had 4, send additional stats for White

Blue – Jordan and Rabin with TDs.

TOP PLAYS: Snow tracking down Zezzy out of nowhere, diving flag pull. Zezzy to Rose 45 yard strike for the first down and some hope. Snow hitting Rugby in stride…a bomb – 90 yard TD score dagger. Jordan pick and return to the 5 in Game 2 and Zezzy full on molestation of Jordan in front of son (I’ll send you therapist bill). Jesus in the Revis jersey proving his undying love for the green and white. Mighty screen behind Bubba and just hiding behind him until Zezzy took charge. Zez and Rabin making a really nice passer to WR tandem and using the middle of the field all day.

If you couldn’t guess, Mighty gets the Jewball. He turned back the clock and had the entire opposition chasing him looking stupidly slow and inept. Snow threw a hell of a game. His passes were spot on. If they weren’t caught it was because of tight defense….but each ball was crisp and right on target. He looked like Jim McMahon out there.

Guys, would love to think we can get in 8 more games over next 3 months, and then a couple fun games when the weather improves.

Long live Jewball!!

Cold is coming, but that does NOT stop us!

WEEK 3 Warriors, where are you??

2/3/17

Game Time: 9:15 am

Field: NW Park – Back

National Anthem – Steveo and Daveo

Halftime Performance – B-sh unsnaps Rabin’s pants button by provocative button.

FALCONS – WHITE

• Zezzy – QB
• Jason
• Elimelech
• Daveo
• Effie
• Ari
• Davies
• Snake

PATRIOTS – BLUE

• Rabin – QB
• Mighty
• Jeremy
• Steveo
• B-sh
• Tom
• Press
• Zezzy + 1

God Bless Jewball and God Bless America.

J

2/21/17

Week 6 was a nice reset on the season. Weather was good. We had solid 7s. In Tom v. Press had two QBs with a clue and arms to back up their strategies. Talent was evenly distributed. Most importantly, it may be a date we look back on (as we have many times before, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves) where Jewball – the game that seems to have at least nine lives – brought in the players that will give it a future. Who knows? It’s early. We’ve seen so many people come and go. I’m going on my 16th!!!! year being a part of this game. And the game existed before me. Maybe North Woodmere park will be our home for a while. How many permanent and temporary homes can we count? But, Press, Tabak, Effie, Snake, Gronk, Ari….these guys seem committed. You get 6 committed young players…you’ll get a game every week. So, there is something to look forward to. Although this season probably only has 5-7 games left because the softballers will be out soon enough, I think come next fall…we will be able to get in our first true Jewball 20 game season in about 4 years.

The game was not incredible, but completely legit. Gronk only runs when he wants to, so his man got a bit too open on an early drive, and Press moves the ball very nicely and has an efficient short yardage game. He took his Blue team up two nothing. Just when it looked like things were going to get out of hand as Tom threw a pick from his own 20, the play was called back due to the rare pass interference call. So instead of being down 3-0, Tom had some life. Although that drive did not result in a score, it did prevent things from getting out of hand. And speaking of hands…holy smokes….Gronk has some skillz! Basically, Tom would throw to Gronk (yeah, like Tom Brady), and no matter the traffic, the play was made (99% of the time). That dynamic alone allowed Tom to sneak his team back in the game. An all Gronk drive eventually ended up with White scoring. The score was followed by an incredible one handed pick by Mike that really turned the tables. The turnover lead to points and a tie game.

With 20 minutes left on the clock and a drive that started with a Landau catch for 5 yards, a Tom run for a first down, a Jordan sliding catch, and a bunch of Gronks….Tom took the ball with 4th and goal from his 15. What followed was a 2 minute scramble highlighted by Effie and Jordan literally butting heads at the line the entire time. Tom waited patiently for someone to get open and there was Ari cutting left to right in the middle of the endzone. Perfect pass. TD! White takes the lead.

Blue had 2 more chances to tie the game and extend things, but it was not meant to be.

MVP goes to Jason “Gronk” Schlessel. Saved his team’s ass a dozen times. Hopefully the first of many. I welcome some vets to come down and try to stop this guy.

The weather seems to be only getting better (or worse if you are worried about your kids needing to relocate to the moon).

Who wants WEEK 7?

2/27/2017

WEEK 7 proved something.

Weather was not agreeable. It was the kind of Sunday where you get out there and you say….why did I sign up? You may even hope that for some reason the game gets canceled.

But WEEK 7 proved something.

It proved that Jewballers show up. They show up because they know their fellow Jewballers will show up. WEEK 7 showed that the game is strong. 12 signed up, 12 showed up. How many times was that not the case? How many times were we just waiting for the excuse of the week. 14 became 11 overnight. 12 became 10 or 9 or 8. So, there was that.

That was the state of union lesson for us.

The other lesson was a football lesson.

And that is…you never know.

Wind can be whipping, field could look like a trapezoid (courtesy of a lawyer and a chef), temps could be low….but until you play the game….you just don’t know. Could be the kind of game that makes you want to never show up again. Could be a game full of regret or glory or missed opportunities or moments that will stick with you for decades.

Although only one team could walk away with a W, Week 7 in this 2016-17 campaign had that it factor. Probably because of the weather. Probably because it was a psychological struggle just to be there. Because we all pushed ourselves to play the game. And although execution wasn’t always perfect, it was a battle. Was one of those games where people were making plays. Where people figured, I’m here, it sucks, might as well try. Sacks, picks, clutch throws, gritty defense….you got the sense that those who showed up said…I’m here to play. And that’s always a beautiful thing.

It was Press v. Rabin, so the question marks were there. Would Press continue to develop as a QB? Would Rabin bounce back from being pulled after 3 picks down 3-0, 3 weeks ago? The answers were yes and yes.

While Rabin did start off the game with a few picks (and add a few later) he was throwing a nice looking ball, despite the wind. Continuing the dominating performance he put on display in WEEK 3, Mighty had no problem taking on the entire team wearing blue. No one could contain and Jordan had a hell of a day looking stupid in man coverage. The game was billed as a Gronk v. Mighty title fight to see who could impose their will, win the game, and walk away with a Jewball. And it was close. Mighty started the game with 2 picks and 2 scores and things looked challenging for Rabin and company. But there were signs that Rabin would eventually break through. The ball was moving. Mighty was basically wearing Blue down with every touch. Screens, shovel passes, button hooks…everything short turned into something long. The blocking from White with Press, Tom, B-sh, Tabak, and Eli was very effective and with Mighty darting in and out of pockets, Blue had no answers.

But eventually, with Gronk at Safety, the turnovers came. Two Gronk picks gave Blue extra opportunities, and with those opportunities came drives. Drives extended by an incredible catch by Ari in the tightest coverage you can imagine, a sliding catch by Gronk, Jordan slipping free for a few big yard plays. And before you knew it, it was TD Gronk, TD Landau, and finally….75 yard catch and run TD Jordan (with a killer block thrown by Gronk). Blue had come all the way back and took the lead! But…damn you MIGHTY! Press ran a bit, Tom made same nice grabs out of TE position, and then Mighty breaking it open and creating havoc…and scoring. 3-3 with 10 minutes left. Blue had the ball with a chance to win in regulation. With a 4th and 2, Rabin called a play to Gronk from the TE slot. Gronk beat his man but a battle with Mighty downfield did not result in a completion. Almost, but was just one of those days for Mighty.

Press takes over at his own 20 with a chance to win in OT. On 1st down, Tom curls out from TE position and goes uncovered. Catch. Score. Game Over.

MVP is Mighty, hands down. Plenty of scoring, plenty of picks (3-3). Just a force.

TOP PLAYS: B-sh with the pick, with the comment that he no longer “has” an ACL, and then the statement that he is going to pick up 60lbs of veal after the game. Rabin broke the 7 year Jewball record for most meaningless arguments in game. Previous record holder was Rabin. Gronk saying I don’t like to lose in the heat of battle. Tom lowering the shoulder. Someone grabbing someone’s junk (forgot who…probably Landau), and Landau with the TD and two games in a row back and bringing it! Rabin telling me that Effie is a science teacher and wears a bowtie to parent teacher’s night. I actually see that.

Next week is WEEK 8. Who wants? ew R��_4(?=

3/6/17

I’m not really gonna recap yesterday. I have effusive praise for certain people who played yesterday. But how much hero-worship can one person do?! Once again I’m proud that the Jewball spirit is alive and well. It’s cold…we play the game. And it was another good, high level game yesterday. The reason I shut down the league last year, as some of you know, was not because I couldn’t play, and not really because fields were hard to come by, or even numbers…It was because the game wasn’t quality football. I don’t just want to have a game. You need talent. You need QBs, and WRs, and linemen, and safetys that make it a game worth playing. So great to see that pulse back in Jewball.

Score ended up sort of one sided with Zez beating Rabin 6-3, but it was 4-3 and Rabin’s ball able to tie things up with a half hour to go. That’s a game. Rabin had a few too many picks – Zez played very sound, smart football. Really lead from the QB position. Mighty, for some reason, has been on a streak. I’ll give him full credit for breakout numbers the past 2 games. Yesterday…I don’t know. I mean, he leaves with another Jewball and gaudy numbers (4 scores, 2 picks), but White team really missed flags all day. Easy ones. So be it, winners win.

Thanks for coming out.

TOP PLAYS: Effie batting down a ball, Rabin running alongside Gronk yelling “He missed you, he missed you” instead of blocking, tying Rabin’s shoes, Zez and Gronk colliding – hopefully the first of many, Mighty coming up with 2 creative nicknames for some Vets.

And speaking of Vets….in a decade old tradition….we will perhaps end our season (because I think it’s last for me…I’m booked until Pesach and then softball starts)…with Vets v. Rooks. Vets have NEVER won. Maybe it is time.

For your edification about the game you now play….below is a recap from March 9, 2010…Chabad v. Jewball, which was followed up with the season ending Vets Rooks affair. (Notice that this was one the very first games that Zez played with us….and I called him Eliezer. Notice that it is Munch’s first game).

I’ll do sign ups for  Vets Rooks next week.

J

9/7/17

Was not able to get my act together this week – so I’m late on setting up the WhatsApp…..but….it’s on my to-do list. And I’ll get it done.

Was great to see my Jewballers last week, playing in true Jewball conditions. Although I promised clear weather….I lied. We played in an occasional driving rain last week. This week looks MUCH better. 

The game was a good kickoff to this attempt at a rejuvenated Jewball – the 2017-2018 campaign.

Great mix of veterans, legends, rookies, and newbies. That’s; what Jewball should always be. Past, Present, and Future – there for nothing but love of the game and respect for competition.

In the aforementioned rain, we kicked things off with a evenly matched 5 on 5 with an official QB, which was Rabin (although Mighty suggested official bench). On the opening drive, said Mighty had issues the entire way, culminating in a dropped TD pass. Ouch. Bad start to the day, but Mighty recovered.

At about the same time that Mighty was cursing his butterfingers, the man, the legend, the father of the year rolled up with what looked like eight strollers. I have to respect Zezzy, because he plays in any weather. Freezing snow, pounding rain, scorching heat. His commitment is otherworldly. I also respect his kids because they watch his play in all the same weather. As Show pointed out, a child can hardly notice the rain when properly tranquilized. But enough about child-abuse, let’s get to the action.

Zez enters the game as Rabin takes over at QB for WHITE (Jordan, Gronk, Show, Evan aka Eli aka Donny, and Steveo). After a possession each way the score stays at zeroes.

Finally points are put up as Jordan – claiming to have found a next gear at near-40 – gets his team to midfield on a screen – and then a bomb to Show is caught and has Tabak grabbing all tzitzis! Show does the electric slide to evade the flag-pull and find endzone. 1-0 Rabin. As one would expect, Zez would not be contained for long. With his team of Mighty, Kut, Ari, Shadow, and Tabak…the talent was there for a barrage of points. The only question was could Rabin and company do enough to slow it down and sneak out the victory. A lot of that would depend on how big a game Gronk would have. Shadow turned out to be a really nice addition to the Jewball corps. He knows how to play the game. He also won first prize at our first annual Jewball Wet T-Shirt Contest. Ari, proudly wearing a Keyshawn jersey brought a lot of pain to the O line and had Rabin scrambling. 

As you can see, I’m stalling.

I don’t remember every score. I remember Mighty burning me twice (once really badly). I know Zezzy ran 2 in (one of them, the Game ender). There was a 5th score. Probably Kut since I always forget his successes. I put up one on an out plus some speed down the sideline (Rabin….how many of those have we done in 15 years of this??). And your final was 5-2.

TOP PLAYS 

Gronk saying “I’m scared” at least two times after catching the ball and seeing Zezzy come at him. I mentioned Shadow’s nipples already, right? When the Fuld umbrella blew away. When Mighty showed up in shorts and a tight t-shirt clearly not dressed for football in the rain, but shamelessly exposing the pumped up physique he accomplished over the summer. The fact that both Steveo and Mighty were playing despite babies on the way any second. Gronk one handed grab for a first down.

Let’s get something this Sunday. Probably at Lawrence Middle School.

Who wants some more pre-season?

10/2/17

So many things to like about WEEK 1.

Let’s start with the day itself, the field itself – LIFE ITSELF! If yesterday and the day before (being YK) taught us nothing else….it reminded us that to be alive and to LIVE while alive is a blessing. Cuz ya never know. And so Jewball had a reawakening on the cleanest day of the year. A reawakening in so many ways. Like I said, you start with the day. Sun shining – temps flirting with 70, but a breeze in the morning. Crisp weather. A perfect field with no one to bother us…and 14 players, more or less showing up on time. And among those players, a prime symbol of the spirit that says a.) Don’t waste a day of this life that God gives you the ability and opportunity to play Jewball! How dare you miss a day (let alone YEARS)!!!??? and b.) You never know. I would have sworn we saw the last of Marino when he stopped signing up 4 years ago. For whatever reason, he stopped coming down. Physical? Psychological? A combination? I don’t know, but had to respect the decision because Yoni loves the game and if he stopped playing – he had a good reason. I will tell you this much….Marino was as reliable a Jewballer as we had for a good 10 year stretch. Game in and out, he was there. The only question on any given week would be which QB would lose to him. Judah David, Doggy, Evan, Rabin. Okay, maybe they’d get a game off him here or there, but 90% of the time he won – and with ease. The biggest shame in Jewball history is that he and Katzestein did not overlap eras (and I don’t think Snow faced him often either). We basically have never had a stretch of two great QBs competing every week. There was the JK era where he won every week, followed (after maybe a 2 or 3 game overlap) where JK moved to NJ and Yoni started winning every week. Marino just has those gifts that all real QBs have. The arm and the accuracy. And the confidence. So it was a shock when I got a text last week that simply said, “I’m coming out of retirement.” And there he was…back on the field. Dolphins jersey (always the white) draped over his shoulder. That easy south Florida smile. Like he never left. A few pounds heavier? Maybe ; ), but after a few throws you saw the golden arm. Yoni……I forgot how much I missed catching your passes. Welcome back and hope we got another 10 years in us (unlikely!). 

Okay, what else was great about WEEK 1?….Oh yeah, the game! The game itself was a great. Or good, I guess, if you were on the losing side. Losing side always thinks something was off. To be honest, things looked really bad for Blue at the outset. It was Press, Mighty, Tabak, Gronk, Goldberg, Snake, and Tom in White against Marino, Rabin, Jordan, Shadow, B-sh, O, and Singer in Blue. The joke on Blue was that every single person on the team was either old, out of shape (or both). It was as close to a Vets v. Rooks regular season game as we have ever had. As everyone knows, historically, in the 7 or 8 Vets v. Rooks games we have played…..the Vets have NEVER won. It’s just a fact of life – young beats old. No matter how tough, dedicated, or experienced the Vets are…..youth just always manages to win. Something about speed and stamina being more important than savvy and stomach size. So it was no great surprise when White jumped out to a 2-0 lead. They did so, quite naturally with Press being sharp and Mighty being Mighty. Blue was sloppy as well, doing themselves no favors. Missing flags (even by the sure handed O), dropping passes (2 of them by the equally sure handed Singer). So something was off. But 1-0 doesn’t kill you. And then another drive with Mighty and Goldberg leading the way downfield. Eventually, although Rabin had him covered pretty well, Press threw a perfect strike to Goldberg from 5 yards out and it was White 2, Blue 0. Things were looking even worse when Blue failed to move the ball again and White marched all the way down the field using crossing routes to both Tabak and Tom and set up on the 2 yard line. The way Blue was playing, a 3-0 lead would have been a back breaker.  A quality blitz by Jordan, a batted ball by Singer, and a drop by one receiver on White in the endzone gave Blue life. And if you give a Vet life, well…..usually nothing happens….but this time….something happened! The most important thing that happened was that Singer came alive with the batted ball. He was playing safety and had come across the field to stop a TD – and it sparked something. On the following drive he started making catches, and didn’t stop. But it was the old hook up, Yoni to Jordan on a mega-bomb on the right hash that got the ball rolling in full force. Like Pennington to Moss at Marshall, Yoni hits Jordan full stride for a 65 yard catch and score. Blue is on the board and only trailing by 1. 

Only other way to explain what happened next was White fell apart. Everything that was working for them the first half, either stopped working or they stopped doing it. Despite multiple mismatches on the field, they could no longer effectively move the ball. 3 picks later (2 by Singer, and one by Rabin) Yoni had his team up 3-2 (2 Singer TDs). With ten minutes on the clock and White with the ball, Press brought his team back from the brink with a scoring drive that ended with him keeping the ball and darting 54 yards down the left sideline to knot things at 3 apiece. With the clock down to it’s final ticks – it was decided…..next score wins. Marino wasted little time. Oren on a cross breaks free and gets to midfield. And the rest is mano a mano – Mighty v. Jordan. Thank G-d for slippery grass. On his cut, Mighty loses a step and Jordan is cutting an angle across the field and whadayaknow……Marino puts the ball on him at full speed. Ten yards later the end zone is found and Blue takes the season opener – 4-3.

It is very tempting to give the Jewball to Yoni. Some of you will say – you have to. Some will say – he threw 4 TDs and 1 pick (Gronk) – he deserves it. Some will say he deserves it just for showing up after 4 years and beating a pretty good QB in Press. Maybe those people are right. Jewball has many meanings. The Jewball recipient can represent many things. Sometimes it is the overcoming of obstacles (B-sh would get it every week he plays for that). Sometimes it is a grittiness. And sometimes….it’s just the player that made his team win. So, this week, I’m giving it to Singer mainly for the latter reason. His picks, defense, and two scores delivered Blue the win (along with a full team effort of course). I’m also giving it to him because he is on a mission to regain his former game in all its facets….and I do not at all see any reason why they won’t happen. I haven’t seen him play a ton, but what I saw, when I saw it…..it is amazing what this guy can do on a football field. And he was never a Jewball regular (always a celebrity guest) but I respect the hell out of him for using our game right now to get back into peak performance shape (so he can beat us badly in the Croton League – wait, what?)

TOP PLAYS – Shadow major disruptions at the line! Rabin mouthing off to Mighty. Mighty coming at Rabin like in the prison yard ready to shank. Gronk getting ready to deck Rabin. Jordan getting ready to deck Rabin. Goldberg getting ready to deck Rabin….okay….everyone hates Rabin!!! It’s embedded in the Jewball DNA. He’s our villain! But isn’t that awesome??!!! It connects us all. Our  tagline can be: “Jewball: Hating Rabin Since 1998.” And I’ll digress here for one comment about achdus in our game, but I think it goes without saying (15 years ago, I probably would have said unity, but I’m a middle age Jew now so I say achdus – F*&$ YOU). So, we clearly have a diverse game. We have people on the cusp of or over 40 and we have guys barely 20. I joined this game at 23 or so….and there were no old people playing….Maybe oldest guy was 30. Whatever – doesn’t matter. Quick second digression – Hakaras Hatov to Tabak and Snake for introducing game to Gronk, and Goldberg, and Shadow, and whoever else they bring. Jewball is like a vampire. It won’t die and it feeds off youth. This digression will connect with the first – That is….I’ve probably known Tabak and Snake since they were like 9. I don’t know what they see me as….Their dad’s friend? Some weird old guy from shul?….I’ll tell you what I see them as now. Not kids, not North Woodmere people, not anything other than Jewballers. They play. They push themselves. They come out. They have joined the family. And it’s a tremendous family at this point. Literally, hundreds of people. I say this because I don’t care if you are 40 years old or 20 years old and playing – no one owes anyone respect based on age. Or based on how long they have played. If you come down and play hard – you are respected. If you come down and don’t play hard or don’t show – you won’t be respected. Play the game. It has it’s own language. Don’t let attitude speak for you. Don’t let soft calls speak for you. Let your effort and drive to improve speak for you. Back to Top Plays – Goldberg holding my hand and calling flag block. Singer pick while rolling on the ground. The look on Mighty’s face when he realizes his team needs to score and he is at line for the second time in two sets. Rabin celebrating a TD with a burst of expletives and he is standing on the 3. Gronk going from tearing his ACL to slowly getting up to playing to running full speed in a matter of minutes. And of course, Gronk’s lateral to…..

10/17/17

I know that Week 2 was a very good game worthy of a very good recap, but….honestly…who the H remembers what happened before simchas torah.

The most important thing that happened went under the radar which was that Yakir played. That means that Week 2 featured 2 players that actually pre-date ME in Jewball history. I joined the game bout 2002….and those dudes were ALREADY THERE! I pretty much only know Rabin from Jewball. Yakir went to HAFTR with me so he is a double brother. Always great to run with you, Kicking Kenny (aka The Washing Machine). 

The weather started off spotty – like wind and rain and then it calmed down. The 20s team dragged two guys out of bed to play (one was named Jacob and the other was wearing a Breslov kippah and built like a small truck – like a mini Munch….like a MUNCHKIN! New Nickname!!! Just came up with that now! – he will hate it!) Whew, that took a lot out of me – hmmmm – i’m gonna get a parking ticket if I don’t move this along….

20s lead by Gronk, 30s and up lead by Rabin (and featuring a 28 year old Mighty). Don’t remember a ton. Youngins went up early, Gronk was throwing a good ball (when he threw – cough cough). Rabin came back to tie it. It was 3-3 when we said next point wins…..and Gronk ran his 3rd in of the day. 4-3 – Rooks, but Vets not getting blown out and being in it is a testament to either the Vets getting better or the Rooks getting worse.

Jewball to Gronk because a.) he won and b.) he scored 3 and threw 1 – can’t really argue with that. 

And speaking of getting worse – why no game last Sunday??? Pathetic. Let’s go anti-pathetic and get a game this week.

Who wants some WEEK 4??

All games will now start at the OLD SCHOOL time of 9:45 and go until 11:15. That’s what we did for many years, so…it works.

Why the change?

Because for the first time EVER – JEWBALL will be competing in a real league. We play Sunday Morning at 8am against some team known as the Beasts. If you call yourself Beasts, it shows that you are insecure and overcompensating. 

The team is me, Press, Daveo, Rabin, B-sh (when healthy), Katz, some guy name English, some guy named Dan, and Ari. We want more of YOU to get in on these games….so….we are 8am every Sunday for the next two months. Let us know if you can be a part of the magic. Best is to play Jewball competitive at 8am and then our game at 945.

Let me know,

J

11/23/17

I usually wouldn’t do a recap of a Bowl game, and i’m not – just felt like I should right about today for a sec.

Firstly, because I SUCKED! And worse, because I sucked in front of my Jewball vets. I don’t care if this sounds like an excuse, I’m saying it (power of the email writer) – Did something to my finger pulling Goldberg flag early on. Still cannot bend it. No power of it at all from bottom knuckle up. So….hard to catch when finger is playing mind tricks on you. Ahhhh I feel better. Now everyone thinks I’m still good.

Anyway, the REAL reason I’m writing is to make that excuse about my finger….

But the other real reason is – did you see who came out to play today????!!!! Yakir and Rabin! of Generation 0!  Me and B-sh of Generation 1! Klink of Generation 2! Steveo, PJs and Box of Generation 3! Daveo, Rugby and Kut of Generation 4! Tabak, Goldberg, Grinspan of Generation 5! A new guy named Eddie who might just be older than me and caught a game winning pass (or an almost game winning pass – Tabak actually caught the game winner – both passes were ducks….Goldberg, but thanks for stepping in). Finally a NEXT GENERATION player in Yoel Rahmani! It was Jewball at it’s all-inclusive intergenerational finest. Meanwhile over on field 2 was Mighty with a bunch of derelicts. That dude slumming.

I’m out with a finger, but I’ll be happy to bring gear and observe for some…

I know Marino, Rabin, Zez, Gronk, and Tabak were down for a game tomorrow….

Anyone else?

11/28/17

Dear Jewballers,

Allow me this indulgence – it begins my therapy…..

I played a little football in elementary school like everyone else. Recess. Probably like 4th and 5th grade was prime years before everyone started playing basketball. High school….maybe 3 or 4 games freshman year. Israel year, when everyone woke up early Friday mornings to play, I slept. Didn’t even think about trying out. Wasn’t for me. Got married at 22. And what do newly married guys do living in Kew Garden Hills on Sunday mornings in the winter before they have kids…..”Hey, let’s play football! Like real men!” I vividly remember the first week. We played a 4 on 4, mostly laughing – pathetic. We played on that patch of grass right off the ramps that take you to the Jackie Robinson Expwy or the Grand Central. Literally felt like a car could hit you if you weren’t careful. No cones. Maybe some sticks as touchdown markers. Probably something more like, “If you get past that tree it’s a touch down.” Guys were slipping. Cleats?? No chance. Not on our radar. Who was it that day? Charlie Harary, me, J Sky K, Jeremy Fine, Hands, Mosey….maybe it was a 3 on 3 with official QB. We tried this a few times. Then, when we asked some other people in the hood to join – like Grushko – we learned about an existing game in Flushing Meadows park, which was about 15 minutes away. So we said, let’s go there and see if we can get in. And that’s where we found Rabin and Sigman, and Sokes, and Jay, and Spira, and Yakir, and whoever was playing with them. We joined. Many people left – but I stayed. I stuck with it. No particular talent or speed, but I was finding that week in and out, I was getting better. For whatever reason. Was two hand touch game. JK stuck with it. Spira too. Of course Rabin. B-sh came down. Eventually Joey. Met a billion people over the years. My favorite people. Without a doubt, football, which lead to softball – and generally caring about staying in shape – made my life complete and insanely rich – and not because of a TD catch or a pick or great win –  but because of the Jewball and softball family I have accumulated.

Fast forward 5 years and I’m organizing the game – and either everyone else is slowing down or I’m getting fast – and once in a while make a catch that there is no way I could have made the week before. The friends who knew me growing up – wouldn’t believe it – I never showed any athletic promise. But, that’s besides the point really….

You may know the rest. We move the game to 5 Towns in about 2004 and had some incredible years….and now it’s 13 years later. We are all still going. I told Mighty this season I thought I was getting faster…

I’ve also seen a lot of injuries over the years. Not mine. But others. I’ve seen people go and not come back. The typical excuses as people get older and/or suffer an injury….worried about health. I have a family. I have a job. What’s more important? I get it. I just felt that was a decision for other people to make. I would just keep going untouched.

Been playing – like I said – 17 years now. I’ve missed one or two games with ankle sprains. Maybe a handful  when sick. I can safely say that 95% of the time that I didn’t play it was because of a scheduling conflict and not because my body didn’t allow me too. 

And then last Thursday happened. 

Wikipedia:

A Jersey finger is an injury to an FDP tendon at its point of attachment to the distal phalanx. This injury often occurs in American football when a player grabs another player’s jersey with the tips of one or more fingers while that player is pulling or running away. The force of this action hyperextends the tip of the finger at the DIP joint while the proximal portion of the finger is flexed. This action can partially or completely rupture the FDP tendon at or near its attachment point on the distal phalanx. Sometimes, the force is great enough to pull off or avulse a piece of phalangeal bone to which the tendon can remain attached (Editor’s Note – My doc thinks bone was pulled too – Goldberg, you are a beast!). Although it is a common football injury, this injury can occur during other sports or activities as well.

After the injury occurs, the torn FDP tendon may retract slightly, remaining in the finger near the PIP joint, or can retract more fully into the palm of the hand. A person who suffers a jersey finger injury in which the FDP tendon is completely ruptured cannot flex the affected digit at the DIP joint without assistance.

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Can only be repaired with surgery. Mine is Friday. Then 4 to 6 months of therapy to regain range of motion.

Thank God, I’m gonna be 40 in less than 2 months, and this is my first surgery. First real injury….and it’s nothing. Not painful. Just annoying. I’m happy that it’s a sports related injury. I  love that it is defined as a football specific injury for athletes. That’s the best. It’s kind of a mark of pride. But it does mean I will not be playing football the rest of this season. It does mean that I’ll  have this in my head every time I pull a flag or reach for someone as they race by. And that sucks. Many of you have inspired me to come back from injuries and play again for love of the game (B-sh comes to mind). I will be kicking my ass in the gym as much as the doctor allows over the next 6 months so I stay in shape (and hope to be ready for the 5K and softball in April). I’ll organize games in the meantime and bring out my good filming equipment so I can make some highlight videos….but not the same as playing. And what a damn shame in a season where so many old school guys were returning! Maybe that can be my only solace! The theme of the season is the unpredictable comeback!

My wife always says “don’t get hurt” when I leave the house to play (football or softball…or anything). I always respond, “I won’t.” I also always say that it would – scary thought, but true – take a catastrophic injury to stop me from playing. Only because I can’t really think of anything else that would logically make me stop. Maybe sucking….but I feel like with Rabin never giving up, how could I? Just kidding!!!! Bro!!! Rabin got me my orthopedist appointment next day!!! He’s the man! Just don’t understand why he had to probe me with his fist before making the referral. 

Anyway, this is NOT a catastrophic injury by any stretch. I can run, live, work….and it’s my left hand!!! ; ) So I’ll be fine. Just no football for 6 months. 

I still have every intention to outlast all of you.

See you on the field,

Jordan

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