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Vets – Rooks Recap Part 2 – Finale

Whether one game was better than another is a matter of opinion. Some people like violence. Others prefer laughs. Many swear by the back and forth contest, while a contingent live for the rout. However, there are games that preeminently stand out. The details may blur over time, but you won’t find anyone who questions the impact and intensity of the game. The Rooks semi-finals of 2023 – aka Sophomores v. Freshmen – aka Smores Freshies – was such a game. It was objectively – as in factually – as in not a  matter of opinion – the greatest assemblage of Jewball players facing off in a meaningful game EH-VER. Sometimes that’s not enough. Sometimes the finest ingredients thrown into the blazing fire of an on-field cauldron does not yield the gourmet dish the patrons expected. In this case, the dish was worthy of 3 Michelin stars. Not only did it deliver a heavyweight match with evenly distributed haymakers. Not only did it go down to the wire. It went beyond the wire. It expanded and reached the very edges of Jewball reality. It stretched our formative material and fabric to the breaking point. It caused friction and fraying and the bursting of twine and cables resulting in an eruption of rubber pellets. It burned the motherf-ing house down.
While the Vets were doing their Vets slog across the way to see who (spoiler alert) would get their creaky, sprained, and strained butts whipped by the Rooks in the finals, the Rookie game had an electricity that you don’t even attempt to explain or describe. You just say thank you. You look at it from a distance (or perhaps even from within the twirling grandiosity of its midst) and – with a twinge of jealousy if you are on the outside – behold its sheer reverberating magnitude. You reaffirm all your mantras, codes, and principles. You realize with transcendent clarity that THIS is why we do it. You don’t dare speak its name. You just hope to incidentally harness its energy. Carry it forth in a form that manages to fuel and spark something….something unknown and unexpected that is to come – of equal or greater magnitude.
Before we get to the game itself, a warranted ode to the Smores who arrived with the freshest of looks. An ensemble so clean and dapper that perhaps it fulfilled The Oracle’s tafkid in this life (someone check on him):
Verily, how glorious was the appearancee of the Smores, when they came forth from the parking lot, and donned their crimson garments.

Even as the expanded canopy of Salem’s backyard man-cave, was the countenance of Pray.

As the lightning that proceeds from the splendor of Storm, was the countenance of Pray.

As the beautiful blue stripes which adorn the garment of Dobs, was the countenance of Pray.

As the appearance of the flashing red eyes in the cybernetic skull of Legs, was the countenance of Pray.

As the majesty with which Solo stealthily stalked the Rooks, was the countenance of Pray.

As the gleaming amber in the midst of Whiskey’s bottle, was the countenance of Pray.

As the gang green diadem put on the forehead of Feit, was the countenance of Pray.

As the amiable tenderness depicted on the face of Irv, was the countenance of Pray.

As the smoothness of Jack leaping for the rock, was the countenance of Pray.

As E who sat in concealment, to supplicate the presence of the Boz, was the countenance of Pray.

As the archangel DK glowers on the plane of the goal, was the countenance of Pray.

It was this adversary which the brazen Freshies faced. None of them counted amongst us for more than two seasons. None of them having known of Jewball before a Draft, a Chanukah Party,  or TBI. All of them loaded with confidence and a resolve to vociferously announce their arrival.  To proclaim that the era of the Rookies has begun. The age of Dachs who throws left but is always right. The age of Dax, who hugs you like a chiller but cuts you like a killer. The age of Zinn, who scintillates like none before him and is prepared to rewrite all the record books. The age of Oppen, who rushes forth with a fierceness that emanates from the very depths of his being. Add to this those who joined mid-season like Stats and Perla. Add to this our phenomenal 2021 Class (guys who I feel like I’ve known forever) and it’s hard not to think it’s a Rookie’s world and we are just living in it. For now. Things change.
I wish I could give you a blow for blow account of this game (relax, Logan). From across the way I spied Pray and Dach just stone-cold slinging it. Like I said, it was a title fight between titans. I can’t tell you the order, but I can tell you the stats. 1 rushing TD for each QB.  3 Scores for Zinn. 1 score apiece for Storm, DK, and Solo. I know there was some controversial calls. What else is new? I know it was a tie when the clock ran out and it was too late for college OT. What else is new? I’m proud that we didn’t keep playing. Didn’t force people to stay. Didn’t bring in replacements from other teams. Didn’t have anyone leave in an ambulance. The teams walked off the field and regrouped for another day.
That day came three weeks later. Last Sunday – after Week 20 and the League semis – Week 19 was completed. It was the same drag out grudge match that was left incomplete in the regular season. Back and forth stops. Just a pure clash of talent and passion. The Sophomores did score first with about 10 minutes left in the OT. Pray to Legs crossing over the middle. But it was called back by Dax who thought he had the sack. Call was respected. On the next drive – on a 4th and goal from the 20, Dachs finds Rook in the back corner of the endzone. Beautiful catch by Rook. Magnificent throw by Dachs. Freshies take the lead. And they held it. Pray had a chance to tie, but his receivers were not up to the challenge. I’m going on and on here with the superlatives but Zinn said it best on Week 19 Sunday. It was (perhaps) the best football game anyone has ever played in under the Jewball banner. I have one more Recap to write in the coming weeks, but I’ll allow myself to reflect quickly how proud I am to call both the Sophomores and the Freshmen Jewball Rookies. We are doing something so right. BH. Captain of the Freshies….3 scores and being a 21 year old leader and believer in what we are trying to do here. Shows up to everything. Brings positive energy to everything. We – all of us – are so happy you are here, Roy. Jewball to you.
And this is the point I will end with. I know the Sophomores felt robbed. Rightly so. They worked their asses off and they looked really good doing it. I would argue they were the better team (which is a compliment to the Freshmen for beating them). It always sucks to lose. I’m sure they wanted one more game and to be given the chance to wipe the floor with Yaron and his (modified) Juniors. BUT – as we discussed when Zinn questioned the need to continue the Week 19 game – we have our traditions. Each year – for 17 years – as often as we can – we crown a team winner of Vets Rooks (last year we had a tie and a Rook win…so Rooks get the edge). The Rooks won this year. The Rooks destroyed this year. It’s kind of hard to digest what I’m about to say – but it didn’t really matter which Rook team beat the Vets. The Sophomores and Freshmen (in this moment in time – and it is very much subject to change) are one. This is our greatest virtue. I see on the chat sometimes we forget it. Yes, we have Leagues. Yes, we have Vets Rooks. Competition is great. And for good competition, you need division. You need tribalism. But permeating through that division and tribalism – as paradoxical as this will sound – is a oneness. Tapping into that delicate nuance lies our secret.
Which brings me finally to what was actually the best game of the season. It was last Thursday night at Greis Park. Jewball v. Gumbas. Personally, I think Gumbas are an awesome football team. I respect the hell out of the way they play, the way they carry themselves. They play super hard. They are super nice and friendly. I just think they are excellent. And I’ve watched our teams struggle mightily against them over the past few years. Last Thursday night, with Rook and Zada hanging with me on the sidelines, I watched a Jewball spectacle that was truly like nothing I’ve ever witnessed. Yes, we won. Yes, Yaron did that thing where he plays like a virtuoso and doesn’t flush it all away with confounding decisions. Yes, Prime battled through pain like a warrior. And Zinn went full superstar. Stats tracked guys down who were blazing fast. Oppen pulled flags like a man possessed. O. Pray. Daveo….all did incredible, clutch things. I almost wish it was a game of ours because it is recap-worthy. BUT…I bring it up because I watched it less than 3 days before the Vets Rooks Championship. I watched a team playing together against a superior opponent, and just shocking them with an otherworldly chemistry and an almost tangible commitment to team. I got you. I will pick you up. I will not let you down. They were one. Two Seniors, Two Juniors, a Sophomore, and two Freshies. One.

Week 20 – Recap

A PJ’s perspective….
It’s hard to write the week 20 recap. To be honest I tried avoided doing this for many reasons. Time, TBI, work, and life. But the real reason is that another season is in the books. Jordan will cover postseason and end of the year cap. But week 20 marks the end of football that is played as a brotherhood. Stats might count but battling with your Jewball brothers without leagues is what counts the most. It’s like the Marvin Gaye song lyrics
“Whats happening brother?”Can’t find no work, can’t find no job, my friend
Money is tighter than it’s ever been
Say, man, I just don’t understand
What’s going on across this land
Ah, what’s happening, brother?
Ay, what’s happening? What’s happening my man? Woo
Are they still gettin’ down where we used to go and dance?
Will our ball club win the pennant?
Do you think they have a chance?
And tell me, friend, how in the world have you been?
Tell me what’s out and I want to know what’s in
What’s the deal man, what’s happening
What’s happening, brother?

No matter what our lives look like and no matter what is happening in our lives… we know what’s happening on Sunday mornings….we are battling with our brothers…

Week 20 game 1 featured Yaron vs Dachs. This was more of a Vets vs Rooks tuneup than a playoff tuneup to be honest for both QB’s. The other big headline was TD leader, could Storm catch Zinn. Yaron lines up with The Rook, Dax, Storm, Dobs, Steve-O, and Bert. On the other side Dachs lines up with Pray, Zinn, Prime, Zada, Tom, and PJ’s. This was a back and forth game. The Rook had a deep TD to get Yaron on board early. Dachs responded by hitting Zada for a TD. Zinn had an uncharacteristically off game by dropping what would’ve been a TD but Zada bailed him out. Zinn and Storm would both get a TD in this one as well. Both QB’s would trade TD’s and picks but with the game in reach Dachs down by a score but had a chance to tie by hitting a wide open PJ’s but completely missed him and The Rook gets the pick. Yaron would end up hitting Dobs to take a 5-3 win and ice the game. The Rook had 2 TD’s and big time pick to win the Jewball for game 1. Zinn more than likely wrapped up his TD leader title but did allow Storm a very small window to get back in it by dropping out of game 2.

Game 2 would feature Pray vs Perla. Pray lines up with Prime, Spira, Tom, Oppen, Dobs, and PJ’s against Perla, Yaron, Dave-O, Storm, KUT, Sting, and The Rook. This matchup headline was all about the sack leader title. Could Kut catch Oppen. The game starts the not way Perla designed it, quick slant over the middle and Pray picks it off and returns it for a TD. 1-0 to start the game. Perla would respond by hitting The Rook for a TD. Pray would March down the field by hitting a wide open Spira for a big reception and go right back to him for a TD. 2-1 Pray. Perla would answer everytime by hitting Sting to tie it up at 2. Pray would kill the middle of the defense by hitting Tom and PJ’s for like 10 reception each. Drive down and hit prime for a score. Perla throws one to Storm and we’re tied at 3. Pray decided to go back to Spira for another long TD. It’s 4-3. Perla would keep responding hitting Dave-O for a nice TD catch and run. After more back and forth. It’s finally 6-6. Pray last possession and it’s 4th and goal for the game. Pray throws it to the back corner of the endzone over Sting to hit Prime, 3 balls in and the game winner. Miraculous catch and awesome game. Oppen would best Kut 2-1 in the sack matchup. Oppen wins the sack leader. Storm had a solid game but his 2 TD’s on the day were not enough. Zinn is the TD leader. But most importantly Prime, our bother won the Jewball for the final game of the 2022-23 season. Jordan will get us mushy for the end of the year cap. But I wanted to say that I love you all and enjoy every minute of this stuff. Let’s do this again next year and the year after. Get some rest and get inspired for more football.

JEWBALL 2022-2023 – Man of the Year – BIG O

Maybe it’s because he is actually related to the Commish, but it was the Big O who first saw Jewball as family. For him, it was never just a group of random weekend warriors playing a game on Sunday mornings. He saw the group as brothers. He treated the games as battles. He viewed the time as sacred. It caught on. All these years later, he still brings the most passion. He still shows up even when he absolutely cannot – even in work clothes. No one has stripped on the sidelines more often than O. He still loves everyone who goes by the title Jewballer. After all these years, as if he was waiting for the right moment to fully express his love – he found a way.
As this is the first season of The Enlightenment – an era marked by the full recognition of our bond – Oren has seized the moment and taken on a project which symbolizes our status as friends like family. Because to Oren, not only are Jewballers themselves family, but the relationship extends beyond the players. In this era, whenever a Jewballer brings new life into the world, Oren makes sure the mom knows that her husband is out there Sunday mornings competing, but with a crew that sees him as essential and valuable and respected. Whether it is delivered to the hospital or the home, Oren has, with pure zealous joy, made sure a package arrives expressing the Jewball sentiments in such a special moment. Flowers. Balloons. Stuffed animals. Tangible products of this world assembled in artistic fashion to convey a well wish. Of course they do not conform to those limits. They represent a limitless commitment, dedication, and loyalty. They represent an infinite appreciation and gratitude. They represent a full and sincere heart. They say they are from Jewball – and they are – but they represent the generous nature and awesome soul of our Man of the Year.

JEWBALL 2022-2023 AWARDS

Congratulations to all poll nominees and winners!! What an incredible conclusion to the first year of the Enlightenment! Our MVP however is still TBD.. 😉

Offensive Player of the Year: Storm

Defensive Player of the Year: Oppen

Rookie of the Year: Zinn

Most Improved Player: Rook

Comeback Player of the Year: Pray

Week 19 Recap – VETS ROOKS Part 1

What got lost in the Zinnsurrection following Vets Rooks as we attempted to hold the line where free speech and settling down meet – was that no one said Vets Rooks isn’t important. In fact, it was Zinn – our Roy Wonder – who came off the field after VR and felt compelled to type that it was the greatest football game many of us have ever played in. Now, let’s not pretend VR is always a great game. They have been exceptional over the past bunch of years. It helps to have really talented Vets and really talented Rooks. Who care about what we are building here. Does the talent and the caring make VR special? Or does VR make the talent and caring special? You can argue either way. How often is a Super Bowl game, with all its preparation, hype, and hope – just a total boring dud? That’s the beauty of sport. When it works – it’s pure magic.
Vets Rooks 2023 worked. It was magic. But let’s get to the games in a minute. Let’s first re-establish what nobody questioned. Vets Rooks was first played in 2006. That’s ten years after Rabin joined Jewball. Five years after I arrived. Two years after we moved the game from Queens to the 5 Towns. One year after B-sh lost his virginity. So it wasn’t some institution from Jewball time immemorial. However, with the exception of Rabin, B-sh, and I who played on that first Vets team, and Klink and BD (and Ike) who played on that first Rooks team….for everyone else here, when they were born into Jewball…..Vets Rooks was there waiting for them. At the end of every season it was announced and played. When times were good, it was cause for much excitement. Icing on the Jewball cake. When times were bad, it was an excuse to get a game in as the weather started to get better, even though the season itself was spottily played at best. Like Singer always says….There is something about Vets Rooks. It is ingrained in our memories as some kind of pre-cognitive familiar. To paraphrase from the Song of Songs, it is stamped like an emblem on our hearts. It is our security blanket by way of tapestry. Klink and Prime said it quite simply and eloquently – it means something to us. Listen, we live in a time where there are myriad attempts to “make something happen.” A special month. A banner day. An epic event. The hope is always by the producers that it catches on. Goes viral. And then catches on to the point where it grows and proliferates and becomes something much bigger than the idea. Vets Rooks was originally just a way to spice up the end of a pretty spicy season. 2006 was prime time Golden Age. Woodmere Middle was ours. The soccer guys were still slithering in the primeval sludge. The sun was shining on us. And the BD Klink crew seemed to be a limitless fount of kids who loved football and vodka. So the game was played. Oldish vs. High. Vets got smoked.  And the next year it was played again. And then again in 2008. To my shock and chagrin – Klink and BD got older. They were now Vets. And just like that me and those Golden Agers were were playing against Zez and PJs and O and the rest of the Renaissance. And I remember many of those games. They stand out. They pop. Why? Because it was working. Vets Rooks was becoming something more than the kernel of an idea. It was something that we tried to make happen….and it was in actuality happening. It was in fact expanding and taking on a life of its own. And it became a right of passage. And it become our holiday. It became a holy day. Took on minhagim and segulas and all sorts of mystical elements. Because in my mind….Klink is a Rook forever, like Zez, like Mighty, and Steveo, PJs, and Daveo and Kut etc. They just got here. They just came down all doofy and backwards and confused. And we are the Vets trying to crush them. But who is “we”? I look around in my daze of pride and content and it’s a blur. There is fog surrounding everyone on the field. Because the faces are for a moment unrecognizable. Is that Joey and Marino and Hands trying to figure out a way to slow down the newbies? Of course it is. But it can’t be. Because….they retired, right? No. Maybe. Wait. “We” is…..how is that possible….Klink, Zez, Mighty, Steveo, PJs…..These are not rookies? These are not some kids I just met with their young legs and big egos? These are my closest friends for a decade? And we are weathered. And relatively old. And we have injuries that kinda don’t go away. But we are still together. Because of Jewball. Because of Vet Rooks. And we look across the field and the faces metamorphose while at the same time coming into focus. What was once our faces are now all these new stunning, glowing faces…
They are the faces of our future but also somehow of our past. Dachs is a rookie, but there was no Jewball before Dachs. Solo is a sophomore, but there was no Jewball before Solo. Beast is a Junior but there was no Jewball before Beast. The seniors have seen it all happen right in front of their eyes and they understand exactly what I’m talking about; we feel a connection to something much much larger than ourselves – and we know there was Jewball well before us. This is Vets Rooks. It is bracha to be a Rook. It is a bigger bracha to be a Vet. It is the biggest bracha to be a Vet for a long long time. May we all stick with each other and this game and it all represents  – for life.
As Sophomores v. Freshmen – presumably a game for the ages – is still without resolution, we will save that recap for another day.
The Seniors (aka the real Vets) were excited about this one. A chance to play together – guys who have been battling together for at least 10 years. So much history. So much love. Really, like brothers. You don’t last 10 years in any league without being really committed and picking up a lot of  tricks. The Juniors (yes, our fellow Vets) were a formidable adversary, lead by Yaron at QB, and featuring Beast, MK, Zada, Tom, Prime, Sam and Gronk. Logan, Goldberg and Vegh were eligible, but could not make it. Tabak also bowed out to be a good friend to Vegh and make the bris (Mazal Tov, again). With Tabak’s exit – Gronk stepped in (not sure if he would have jumped in anyway), but by the old Vets and the new…..Gronk was a revelation that day. Combined with the non-trashy Yaron, the Seniors needed to really play a near perfect game. Rabin – the Vets of Vets – needed to be sharp. Instead, he wasn’t terrible. But not much more than that.
The game started really promisingly for the Vets. First play of the game is a trick play. Screen to Gronk who throws a dime back to Yaron. Daveo runs interference and Yaron bobbles the thing away into Steveo’s arms. Steveo – the hero of many Vets Rooks past – gets to the 1. Seniors are poised to stomp on the Juniors. And just fail, fail, fail, fail. An ominous sign. Does not bode well.
Prime scored first. A classic Prime score. Short out to the right side. A failure by 3 Vets to pull the flag….and there he is in end zone. 1-0 Juniors. The next score was Gronk on another silly Senior moment. Brilliant pass down the left hash with nice coverage by Steveo, BUT…the pass is completed and Steveo doesn’t know where the endzone is….so Gronk walks in. Ouch. 2-0 Juniors.
Seniors didn’t break. Jordan tips a ball to Mighty for the pick. Rabin to Jordan – an old reliable combination – was on display again to pick up some big yards and the scoring was capped by Mighty and Singer. The game was tied at the half. But the second half opened with a back breaker. An errant throw picked by Zada (3 on the day – Rabin threw 4 of em over all) turned into a P6. The Seniors would  ever grab a lead. Worse….Yaron topped his earlier throw to Gronk by firing another heat-seeker into the Matt Stafford doppelganger for a TD and the lead was stretched to 2.
With 15 minutes left, Rabin and Jordan hooked up for their 1,672nd TD together, with Singer lead blocking and Jordan continuing his Teflon day. 4-3 with 10 minutes left. The defense locked in and Rabin had a final chance to put the game into OT. From the 1. That’s called symmetry. And it would prove true. Yaron leaps and bats down a pass meant for Singer. Seniors fail. Juniors move on to represent the Vets in the championship. Go Juniors!!!
Yaron was excellent, but without Gronk the Seniors win that game. No one intimidates Rabin like Gronk Gronk does to Rabin’s head what Rabin does to other people’s asses. He gets deep in there. Rabin was just scared all day. Plus the two scores. Now show up for the championship and show these Rooks how we do.
Here ends Week 19 Recap part 1.

JEWBALL 2022-2023 MVP POLLS

The categories below are made to give respect to those who we believe have earned the highest Jewball achievements of the season. While some polls are limited to choices, some have write in ballots. Please consider what these players do on the field, what they do for their teams, the stats they accumulate, and how they impact the game each time they walk on the gridiron. Please note that the overall MVP award is a distinction given by our commissioner during the season recap (although he does consider the vote). Please only vote once. Make every vote count!!

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JEWBALL MVP 2022-23'

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Offensive Player of the Year 2022-'23

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Defensive Player of the Year 2022-'23

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Rookie of the Year 2022-'23

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Most Improved Player 2022-'23

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Comeback Player of the Year 2022-'23

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Jewball Man of the Year 2022-23'

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Jewball Chat Wiz 2022-'23

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Best Rivalry 2022-'23

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Tough Man Award - Toughest Mother Fucker in Jewball

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Best Sticker '22-23 (can choose up to 3)

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Violence Award - Most Physical or Reckless Player

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Sportman of the Year 2022-'23 (Just the nicest dude)

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Hardest Flag to Grab 2022-'23

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TBI Season 2: Best Guest

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Choose up to Three:

Week 18 – Recap

How is this the Week 18 Recap? What evil magic allowed Vets Rooks to be upon us already? Where is Gamora? Why are Leagues?
Seasons come and seasons go. Another one is slipping away just as we begin to clench our fists to grasp it. As you can tell, on this sacred Vets Rook Eve, coming off a Shabbos that featured a Shalom Zachor for the ages by Vegh and a bonding session with PJs in the whipping wind – it’s just moving. There is so much. The first year of the Age of the Enlightenment needs a good breakdown. But soon. Not just yet. For now, that closing fist continues its futile attempt to hold on and not let go. Never let go.
With last Sunday being the final League game and 5 of the 6 played….well….we all know Leagues need an adjustment. Not a cancellation. That’s crazy talk. In Jewball, we talk crazy, but we do sane. Sane is make the fixes. Add a team or two so everyone gets drafted in 9 or 10 rounds tops. Done. Problem solved. Draft night is great. League Weeks are great. Dachs says more Leagues in the TBI episode that for some reason started at minute 26 on my phone. Weird glitch. Leagues will continue for many years.
What flipped completely upside down was the hierarchy of Leagues. I was there in the pre-season. I saw Dachs and Dax and Zinn and Oppen. I knew Stats and Legs and Ernie and Rook and Waldo and Whiskey. I knew what that team was. I knew what happened on Draft Night. I believe my record has me calling them as a super scary team early on. I believed in them. They will probably win the whole thing. I’ve always said that I think only one team stands in their way. I still believe that. And that’s the team that got spanked by them for the second time last week. The high and Mighty team that was celebrating a championship on Draft Night. The team that Goldberg likes to mock from his room at Shady Pines. The team that Prime likes to check from his crib on Xandar. That’s right. Top Guns can beat Roll Tide. But everything with Top Guns this season has been an IF. The wheels came off League Game One and the car remains in the shop. We shall see if they can have their Fast and Furious moment in the post season. For now….it’s reality time.
With Singer still on the IR, Jack auditing Legs’ company, Munch grappling with alligators, Logan nursing his ankle and his son, and B-sh sleeping in his car with his spatula at the ready to come to the Super Bowl BBQ to help…..the Top Guns were once again shorthanded. But, hey, every team is this time of year. Well, except for Roll Tide. They seem to always be at full strength. Dax is out with a back. He can’t walk. He can’t move. He can’t find his turquoise cap. Nah, he’s there. Zipping around. Cutting nonstop like Kut on a Thursday night.
Legs brought his son, which was really a precious moment – so I proceeded to mercilessly curse Legs out in front of the youth. And that was after he bought us a bbq. But….Jewball always first. Violence always first.
Hard for me to write from a non Top Guns perspective. Roll Tide deserves better. They deserve credit. They are really friggin good. They are the best team with the best QB, perhaps bets line, certainly best WRs, and honestly – really likeable guys. It’s a team any sports fan would love to root for. But on Sunday, I was really proud to battle with the Top Guns. There is no reason to do the back and forth thing with this game. The final was 34-7. Top Guns lost in a big way. However, I look at it like this: Considering how many people were out…Top Guns gave them a game. At the half it was 21-7 and Top Guns had the ball to make it a one score game at mid field. Did they score? No. Does the offense need to figure out ways to move the ball? Yes. Dachs and Perla (and Gronk) do the one thing that every QB needs to prioritize better than any other in Jewball: Process the simplest way to move the ball down field. They see the defense. They know their weapons. And they do the math. The result is points and Ws. Dachs scored with the usual RT suspects. Zinn put up 2, Dax 1, and Ernie 1. Listen, you can’t beat that team scoring 1 TD. But…I’m here writing recaps and I get to shout out my team. Daveo was hurt and the guy is pure heart out there. Will battle with him until the chevra kadisha do my tahara on the field. Bert is getting more and more dangerous every week. Feit was a warrior on defense and threw an excellent ball Sunday. Just didn’t have the time or playbook to fully respond to the moment. Dob is my Jewball spirit animal. And Mighty is the GOAT. And I remember Salem! He was there! He came out to support. Anyway, bottom line: Love Top Guns. Hate everyone else. Lets win this bastard and shock Goldberg out of his coma.
I think Dachs threw a perfect game. The only incompletions were straight jobs. He was poised as hell. Ran one in and threw 4 TDs. Yeah…so that’s a Jewball.
As our game was ending, I think someone was trolling me saying that Yaron was blowing out Pray in the other League Game, BOP v. Lionhearts. In reality, it was a close one. Zada and Sting each had TDs for LH and Prime has one for BOP. Interesting to note that Storm went TDless so as Daveo tallied for us the other day, with 2 weeks left….Zinn is TD Leader with 25 and Storm is chasing him with 23. Incredible race and incredible season for two absolute studs from this season. All eyes on Rookies game tomorrow.
I caught the final Lionhearts drive, which was technically in overtime, but it was agreed to extend the game a bit. If Lionhearts scored it would seal their W. With Yaron throwing from the 14 he powers one to the back of the end zone where Sting is cutting across. Great pass and catch for the game winner. It looked like Sting caught it. Came down in bounds and was forced out, but Prime saw the ball moving even as Sting went out of bounds. So we ran it back (not sure if it was 4th down – meaning, was that Yaron’s final shot if we didn’t replay it?) But anyway…..if there is such thing as Jewball God’s showing us that a proper call was made…..it happened  on the very next play. An even better pass catch from Yaron to Sting – this time at the back left corner of the endzone. Catch. Sting dragged his toes and his balls, and got all 5 in! Now…that’s a game winner. Let’s eat!!! Wait…Jewball first…..I mean….I didn’t see too much of the game but Sting had 2 TDs of the 3 and he made incredible catches in the final two plays of the game to prevent the collapse that we know Yaron wanted to complete. So…Sting….Jewball to you, my guy.
Now Let’s Eat! What a great Super Bowl BBQ that was! I gave all the thanks on the chat….but one more time: To Legs for donating our official Jewball BBQ – it will allow us to have so many great post game feasts! Bless you, brother. To Waldo for the jammed cooler and really good music. Daveo for the gourmet wings and sliders. O and Aliza for the Prime Kuts. Ernie and Salem for the drinks. Salem also for Qing. Klink for the plates, cups etc., PJs for the always delectable PJoppers. And….again….on this holy night of reflecting before Vets Rook 2023 – a night where we prepare to face each other in pitiless combat to secure the ultimate Jewball Prize – a night where we know that just beyond that veil of fierce competition is a brotherhood like no other. A history like no other. A story like no other. Something….as the rabbis say – meein olam haba (a taste of paradise on earth, a taste of the sweet eternal). That is Jewball. As amazing as tomorrow will be in its own isolated compartmentalized segment of time and place…..it is a living, breathing, changing, evolving organism with a vibrant unified soul and the heartbeat of hundreds who have traveled the path before us, with us, and will travel it in our name when we are gone.

Week 17 – Recap

There was a short window during the summer of 2021 when travel to Israel was possible for vaccinated tourists. Probably lasted 3 weeks before another shut down. Just so happened that my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah took place during that window. It was the Covid family reunion we had been waiting for. I spoke at that time about all the family celebrations that were missed in the interim – where we couldn’t be together – or had to severely minimize – but it was this bar mitzvah boy who merited to finally bring us all together. It couldn’t be planned or coordinated. It’s just fate saying…I see you.
Well, Week 17 was the Jewball gods looking down on us and saying to one Jewballer in particular: I see you. I see what you’ve done for this group. I appreciate your commitment and sacrifices. Once upon a time, when Munch was a skinny high school kid in a big floppy knit hat, his big brother Meir brought him down to fill out a game. We played that game at Bay Park. I remember the big floppy hat. I remember the glass on the field. I actually vividly remember running to chase down someone and Munch was side by side with me trying to block – he wasn’t bigger than me then – and I looked into these wild eyes. I didn’t know if I’d ever see Munch again. He reappeared with Meir after each of them finished their Israel years. Meir was not a small guy, but his brother was then a truck. And he played with us but  also a bit with Snow and Singer so it was hard to say whether he would be loyal to us or just using us as tackling dummies. But Munch stuck. Like I said…or tried to say at the draft party……we always had credibility in Jewball because we had Munch (and Zez and Mighty) standing with us. We don’t exist without the loyalty of those A caliber players who saw something in us and made us their home. On occasion, they went off to make their fortunes and conquer in the Leagues, but they always came home. Their stamp of approval deemed us worthy. We held our heads up. And….most importantly….we had every right to expect good players to join us. They did. Many of them. And last Sunday….40 excellent players – from all generations – joined Munch on the field. No one was zocheh to that. Ever. Except Munch.
Munch, I can’t think of a single true Jewballer who left our game and left for good. So I know u will be back. Wishing you health, success, and much mazal in finding the kind of family down in Florida that u found with us. You won’t, but good luck.
From one legend to another….
If it wasn’t for Munch, this recap would have to be all about Spira. In Game 1, Jordan, Rabin, and Spira (all having worn the Commissioner hat) stepped onto the field together to play in a regular season Jewball game. The first time the 3 were on a team together for a regular season game since 2003. In what other game do things like that happen? I’ll tell you. None. Not a one. That’s a Jewball exclusive.
Along with Munch in his final home game, the ancient veterans were joined by the treasure of the Dark Ages, Kut, HOF QB, Yaron, and MVP candidate, Storm. On the other side was Feit – always competitive and looking to get some Ws against the top tier of QBs. His team was complimented with the superstar rookie tandem of Zinn and Oppen, along with veterans PJs and Sam, and rounded out with playmakers Zada and Waldo.
First possession of the game Yaron goes deep to Jordan and although Jordan beats his man to the spot, he gets a hand on the ball and no more. It’s a catch a good receiver makes. Not a middling one. Opportunity wasted. But it did not factor much in the game. Yaron was on (at least in Game 1) and Feit struggled to put up points. Zinn was a little banged up from the prior week and he just wasn’t his dominant self. And he needed to be the way the teams were constructed. You know who was his dominant self? Spira. The old man whose references make Bert’s seem contemporary showed that great hands have no expiration date. He got the party started with a one handed pick from the safety position that lead to a one handed TD by Jordan. 1-0 Yaron. Feit’s timing with his receivers was a bit off and it resulted in fruitless possessions. But this was a game where it just felt like Yaron’s crew just wanted it a bit more – Munch had to go out with a W. No play showed that desire more than the Storm pick in a coverage battle with Zinn. Feit threw a routine comebacker to Zinn that Zinn catches 97% of the time and takes off. But Storm is an exceptional player having an exceptional season. He races to the spot and wrestles the ball from Zinn. There was also Kut making nice catches from the TE spot and turning on that meat board speed down the sideline. By the time Spira made a catch for the aged, sorry, ages – again with one hand – for 40 yards, it became clear that Munch would have his signature send off win. Oppen – becoming quite the offensive weapon – scored the lone TD for Feit and Storm tacked one on ton extend his TD Leader lead over Zinn. Yaron gets the W and Jewball to Spira for the electric day. Hope to see you out there a lot more next year.
After the game Jordan and Feit got into a little heated debate over whether Klecko deserves to be in the NFL Hall of Fame. He was right it turns out. Across the field, Mighty had replaced Justin which required a team swap. Of course Dax ended up with Dachs in the trade. In what was probably the best game of the day, Pray edged Dachs on the final play of the game. But of course since Mighty was involved, there had to be some controversy. With the score tied and Mighty having already put up 2 points for his team, Mighty darts over the middle and one of the best LB’s in Jewball history, Solo, tracks him the whole way, but is a step behind. Contact was made before the ball was caught, but the question remained whether contact was made after the ball was caught. Mighty makes the grab and falls forward. Dachs’ squad assumes down by contact, but Mighty assumes down by contact prior to the reception. He gets up and scurries his way into the end zone. Game over. Mighty had a great game with 3TDs and a pick….and if the final was 3-2 or 4-3, Jewball would be his….but Pray threw 6 TDs, scoring with 4 different receivers. That’s a Jewball for the comeback kid.
Yaron did not fare as well in his Game 2. Pray fared about the same and whipped Yaron 6-1, picking up his second Jewball of a massively successful day. Logan went down early, stacking the odds against Yaron, but rumor has it the drops plagues him once again and Sting stepping in for Logan was too little too late. I heard Rook had a pick the blew everyone’s mind. But the storyline is the full return of Pray (although on Tuesday night he said he paid a price with his leg not being full healed).
In the last game of the day, Rabin once again took on Perla and this time he really really really thought he could get the win. And he came close. Was a pretty pedestrian game for the first hour and fifteen minutes. Dobs was hurt. Zinn was hurt. Rabin took advantage of the offensive weapons he was comfortable with. Jordan and Rabin have had chemistry forever and there is a lot of trust there. Rabin scored with Jordan beating a hobbled Dobs right away. And shortly after that Zinn got over the top of Storm and it was quick 2-0. Looked like it was going to be a route. But Perla actualizes the Rabin mantra. He bends and doesn’t break. And it helps to have a relentless TD Leader on your team. Storm caught fire and tied things up very quickly, helped out by 2 picks by Dobs. All of a sudden a laugher became a game. Solo got serious at LB and starting sniffing everything out. Rabin’s offense went to sleep. And Perla kept being his methodical self – chipping away. And just like that – quicker than he reaches for the lube in the exam room – Rabin was down 3-2. Finding Jordan on the next possession over the middle and with a 58 yard run that ended with a Solo track and kill – Rabin punched it again with Jordan (he tried Oren first, but Oren was saving his skills for Tuesday night). With the score tied 3-3 and Rabin hoping to have a chance in OT, Perla was permitted to orchestrate one last drive in regulation. And the White Good Symphony was at perfect pitch. No big yard plays, but just first down after first down….and a game winner to Justin in the back left corner in the end zone. Perla wins. Rabin still looking for answers. Although it was a pure team win for Perla’s squad….it felt like everyone was rallying around Beast and Solo. Very hard to give out a Jewball for this one. In the end, I guess it’s Storm. Two TDs and he kept Zinn in check.

Week 17 TEAMS

WEEK 17
4 GAMES!
HOLY F
LHS
JEWBALL FOR LIFE

8am

Game A

Dark

Feit – QB
PJs
Zada
Sam
Zinn
Oppen
Waldo

Colors

Yaron – QB
Spira
Munch 😭
Rabin
Kut
Storm
Jordan

Game B

Dark

Dachs – QB
Steveo
Bert
Sting
Prime
Solo
Dobs

Colors

Pray – QB
Dax
Ernie
Tom
DK
Beast
Justin

945

Game A

Dark

Pray – QB
Prime
Oppen
Daveo
MK
Rook
Mike

Colors

Yaron – QB
Kut
Waldo
Whiskey
Logan
Legs
Mo

Game B

Dark

Rabin – QB
Jordan
Zinn
DK
Klink
O
O Plus 1

Colors

Perla – QB
Storm
Tom
Solo
Dobs
Beast
Justin