WEEK 1

Game 1A
8am – 930am
HHS

Dark

Feit – QB
DK
Beast
Goldberg
Jordan
Sam
Irv

Colors

Zez – QB
Rabin
Waldo
Solo
Klink
E
Zinn

Game 1B
8am – 930am
HHS or TBD

Dark

Yaron – QB
Maor
Rook
Jack
MK
Tabak
Dobs

Colors

Pray – QB
Zada
Sting
Storm
Prime
Kut
Bert

Game 2
945am – 11:15am
HHS

Dark
Winners of Yaron v. Pray
Dax (young Dachs for now)
Whiskey

Colors
Dachs – QB
Logan
Daveo
Winners of Feit v. Zez

In Jewball, we care about our eras. When we say Silver Age it evokes images of Spira and Rabin and Kenny and Brian. In Queens. Cleating up in the parking lot off the 108th street exit, hoping guys show up to make it a solid 5 on 5. Choosing up teams. Arguing did he get me with two hands? The Golden Age conjures the ghosts of BD, Klink, Ike, and Uri as the game moved to a new land where commitment to football was only rivaled by commitment to hangovers. The Rennaisance is Mighty and Zez, PJs and Snow, where competition went to another level and quality and quantity melded delectably into a credible football experience. Jewball seemed to be at the height to its powers. But then the Dark Ages arrived. Croton spread its dark cloud grubbed tentacles across the world. Fields dried up. We wandered. With Kut, and Steveo and Daveo and Judah and Tom and O….we wandered. We gave up. We called it a TKO. We were on the mat, with a faint pulse. The Revolution came out of nowhere. Tabak and Gronk and Cronies, Yaron and the 197…..all at the same time! Singer is back. Hell, BD and Klink are back! WTF?! Spira is back?! From the light of dawn to the most brilliant sunshine. And where could we possibly go from there? Well, we go to here. We now begin the Age of the Enlightenment. What does that mean? See last year’s recap for the rundown. For now, just know you are in it. You are part of it. Bask in its incandescent glow. Soak it up and emit its aura. Radiate that ****. The Enlightenment is upon us. What does that mean to you? What do you need to do to be part of the era?
Easy. Be you. Be the best you. Play football like you mean it. Prep for football like Sunday matters. Like Bowl Games matter. Like Leagues matter. Like Jewballers matter. Like Recaps matter. Like TBI matters. It’s easy to be cynical. Everyone is cynical. Everyone has an excuse. F*ck easy. F*ck cynicism. F*ck excuses. We are enlightening beings. Let everyone else wander around in the dark scoffing at some guys who play football and take stupid risks for nothing. We can’t help those people! Let’s do us!
And we start doing us this Sunday. WEEK F***ING ONE!
Stats are live. TBI is live. Recaps are live. On Rosh HaShanah the Book will be opened and our fate sealed for the year by God. L’Havdil…..next Sunday, we open our book and we write our story. God has His book in the heavens and we can’t touch it. We have our book down here and it is on us. It is on YOU. Write. Your. Damn. Story.
Jewball loves new blood. We need new blood. Rooks are awesome. Our Rooks are especially awesome. However, when it comes to Sundays and sign ups, service time matters. I will try to get everyone a game every Sunday that they want a game. If that means 3 games on a Sunday for Jewball, it’ll be a first….but we are here for it. @⁨Zada Football⁩ will open the sign up sheet. Link will be in description. We currently have 1 8 game. And 1 945 game. Each game is an hour and a half. One game is a right. Two is a privilege (and very rare nowadays). If you sign up, you better show up. Maybe is a meaningless word. No one cares. We all have things that could come up. In means you are in the whole game. We don’t need to know that you need to leave the last 15 minutes or can be there ten minutes late. If you can’t be there the entire time, don’t sign up. No exceptions. Having 3 games will be based on seeing if we have more than 28 interested on a weekly basis. Like I said, newer guys will have to take what we give them. Vets have preference in every way. Meaning, if all the Vets need the 8am game, Rooks will only have the 945 game Option. But Vets need to show Rooks the way. Show up on time, prepared. Vets will not be given preference if they prove unreliable.
Welcome to Jewball 2022-2023. See you on the field.

Welcome back Jewballers! Hoping everyone had a productive and restful offseason and summer, and that you all have been taking care of yourselves. With the new season just a few short weeks away, below is the projected 2022-2023 season schedule. The League schedule will be released in the coming weeks.

2022-2023 SCHEDULE

9/4/22 – PRESEASON 1
9/11/22 – PRESEASON 2
9/15/22 – DRAFT PARTY
9/18/22 – WEEK 1
10/2/22 – WEEK 2
10/23/22 – WEEK 3
10/30/22 – WEEK 4
11/6/22 – WEEK 5
11/13/22 – WEEK 6
11/20/22 – WEEK 7
11/24/22 – TURKEY BOWL
11/27/22 – WEEK 8
12/4/22 – WEEK 9
12/11/22 – WEEK 10
12/18/22 – WEEK 11
12/22/22 – CHANUKAH PARTY
12/25/22 – MACCABOWL/WEEK 12
12/26/22 (MONDAY) – JESUS BOWL
1/1/23 – WEEK 13
1/2/23 (MONDAY) – 2023 BOWL
1/8/23 – WEEK 14
1/15/23 – WEEK 15
1/29/23 – WEEK 16
2/5/23 – WEEK 17
2/12/23 – WEEK 18
2/19/23 – WEEK 19/VETS ROOKS
2/26/23 – WEEK 20
3/5/23 – WEATHER MAKE UP 1
3/7/23 – PURIM PARTY
3/12/23 – WEATHER MAKE UP 2

This just happened. This is real life.

Last Saturday afternoon, I had time to kill. Amy and I walked down Hungry Harbor road in North Woodmere toward the footbridge. I was telling her about Purim by Daveo – now, just a few houses down from the bridge – and about visiting Munch to cap off the night – just a few houses further. We turned and crossed the bridge. We were actually on our way to see Yaron and his dogs when the Markfelds passed us on their way to a different friend (non-Jewball). Their plans changed. They welcomed us in to their home with such enthusiasm. Showed us their dogs and their incredible view. This is a guy who I had a Championship Game against the next day. A guy I killed on the chat all week. There is a context – one might say – where Yaron and I are enemies – or at the very least adversaries. But in the real world…I was thrilled to see him and he to see me. My wife and his wife bonded knowing their connection is powerful and permanent because of what Yaron and I have established. Seeing his kids destroy and abuse him in his own home was fun and made me wish I could share the news. We left Yaron’s house with the plan to follow Midway make our way to Branch. A few steps ahead is a frum looking family. Hair coverings and payis tucked begind the ears and lots of kids and strollers. The husband turns back for a second when he hears our footsteps behind him. 

“Hey!!! J! What are you doing here?”
My eyes light up: “Was actually just visiting my Jewballers.” 

Big smiles.

He gets it. He GETS IT!

It’s Adam Sigman (aka AdRock aka Sig) – as passionate a Jewballer as there ever was. Played in the late Renaissance and early Dark Ages. He was so into it and was such a pure animal on the field (Loganesque field etiquette) – I remember feeling bad that he missed our best days when the Renaissance was booming. Croton had begun. We were losing people and our consistency. Sig retired because of the disappointment. Twice. He became a family man. Put on the black and white. Grew payis. There is a context where we would otherwise be strangers – passing on the streets of Woodmere with a soulless Good Shabbos. But in the real world – we are bothers for life. Every time I see him. It is a lightning bolt of recognition sparking an inferno of blazing memories at our deepest core. He laments that Marino left the game and we didn’t have QBs of his caliber to step up. As if the loss was recent and sharp. He laments his physique. He comments that I am still skinny. I say you need to get back. I tell him about our great players and QBs now. That he would LOVE it. He says: Maybe I’ll come back since you have great QBs again. We pass some guy standing on his lawn in shorts and a t-shirt. Big mop of jet black hair on top. Squinting face. I hardly pay attention. Sig and I continue to reminisce about games that took place ten years earlier. Maybe more.

“Jordan?”
It’s the guy on the lawn, calling my name. I look over.

“Ike!!!”

I say to Sig, “Now, this, “ – pointing at Ike – “is a Jewball legend!”

And Ike really is. He, Klink,  Uri ,  and BD were the heart of the Golden Age. When we moved from Queens to the 5Ts….we were a bunch of Queens guys wandering in a new land trying to plant our flag and institute ourselves on foreign soil. Who were we? Nobodies. We had no claim to stake. No reputation to tout. But Joey had played softball with some of these kids…and he brought them in. And they came. They gave us credibility. They fell in love. They made it a family again. They had an edge. They played for fun. They were high as hell and they elevated us to levels we would not have imagined. That generation was the first “new” generation in my experience. It made me (and Rabin) realize that Jewball is not just OUR game, but it’s a desirable product. It’s an invaluable commodity. And there is market hungry for it. Starving for it. It was a revelatory moment in our evolution. Everything we have now emanates from that class of Far Rock kids.

I told Ike that Klink and I are playing in a Championship Game the next day. I told him if Klink is playing, he for sure can. He gives me that typical comic Ike laugh. The only thing aging him is the paunch. Kid was a rail in cargo pants back in the day. But he has the same face. Same hairline. Same glowing demeanor. He was the first to convince me to keep stats (so get on him!). He even created a spreadsheet on Excel which we called the Ike-omatic because it tallied up the stats and kept everything in neat columns. This is before Sledge made us website 1. And twelve years before Yaron made us website 2. Ike is part of the tapestry. As is Sig. As is Yaron. There is a context where Ike is someone I once knew – a long time ago – for a short period – and we have not only lost contact but are entirely indifferent to the tie that loosely binds us. A slipknot made from a tattered rope that has withered to nothing – and our encounter should be meaningless, if not awkward and clumsy. But in the real world – it is awesome and stunning. Considering how the day was going. Yaron of the Revolution, Sig of the Renaissance and Dark Ages, and Ike of the Gold Age.  Me – like a needle weaving them all together into that luminous tapestry – one to the next to the next. Ike and Sig share a few words. Try to do the math. See if they crossed over at all. Maybe they played in a game or two together. I neglected to mention that the very Marino who Sig was praising a few moments earlier is married to Ike’s sister. I invite Ike back. He says add me to the thing (by “thing” he meant chat I am sure). I will. Maybe we will see him again. We live in the time of fulfilled Jewball miracles. We will get to those soon.
I wonder what my wife was thinking as we buzzed through town, pollinating Jewball flowers – quite by accident –refreshing and revitalizing the growth of long ago sewn seeds. So much history that doesn’t feel like history at all. I feel like I’m on the field with Ike and Sig every time I am on the field. I really do. Because we are all bringing our pasts into the game. The people we played with. We learn something from every one, don’t we? Our games are creations in the aggregate. Who has taught us up until this point? Who will teach us next?

A day earlier I was on the phone with Legs, who has taught me a lot. Really. A lot. Both on and off the field. Our Man of the Year. He has a way of being incidentally wise. We were talking about Purim and I was telling him how great it was to celebrate with Jewball and how – by my simple gesture of inviting the guys over – it made my Purim more special and meaningful than it had been in a long time. I guess I expressed my surprise how impactful it was for me to see the guys come out. His response (of course with a doofy knowing laugh) “Jordan, of course it was great. These guys are your friends! I don’t understand” (He says “I don’t understand” a lot, but he understand everything.). This is a guy who took me into his family dynamic when I was alone in LA, making sure I had a proper Shabbos. When I kept thanking him and thanking him for the favor….he stopped me, and again – the same theme – trying to drive it home: “Jordan,  when are you gonna get it? We are friends.”

I’ll tell you why I don’t get it, Legs. Because there was a time – and for a long time – when Jewball was just a Sunday morning world. A great world built by great Jewballers; a world apart that had all the life-affirming rigors of kinship and competition – but it was relegated to its box. It was compartmentalized into an untouchable space and conscientiously kept secluded and apart. It was sacred, but it was not the real world. I once saw Dorothy in Mike’s Burgers and it was….weird. Jewballers were not supposed to exist outside of a patch of grass behind Woodmere Middle School. We weren’t supposed to see them in suits or yarmulkes. If I would have gone to a Jewballer’s kid’s bris – it would have been: Whoa, why is that guy from Sunday morning football here? Creepy. Did I leave something on the field? 
We shared the game we love. We were Jewballers and that meant something. For sure it did. But that’s where it was supposed to remain. That was the mandated limit as agreed between the parties. This is the code. This is the way. We did not share our lives. We were not actual friends. 

The Revolution started to change that. I’m not sure why or how. I’m not sure why we started relying on each other more – in more profound, complex ways. Expecting more. Being more comfortable with stepping over the lines and boundaries between Jewball and real life. Certainly, it has a lot to do with the kinds of guys that were coming in. Zez – for one stand out – has a tremendous heart. He made it feel like a family. He inherently doesn’t see the lines and allows you to ignore them as well. Maybe I changed. Maybe as I aged I became more sentimental and emotional and it started a chain reaction. One thing I am sure of is that this season changed us forever. It was building up for a few years, but it was cemented this past year. We are now something new. Something that permeates every aspect of our lives (depending on how interested you are in such things). Sharing occasions off the field is as natural as catching a pass on a Sunday morning. Sharing holidays. Celebrating marriages and births and whatever occasions Mighty has to leave for in the middle of a playoff game. Supporting each other when we are scared about what fate has thrown our way. Using our talents and skills and connections to provide a safety net to those who need it. It’s remarkable. We have graduated into something that is beyond where we were even a few short seasons ago. The Revolution was a phenomenal success. The most qualitative and quantitatively successful era Jewball has ever known. But at some point this season we crossed over to another era. One that pushes through a barrier we – for a time – believed to be not only impenetrable, but necessary. The walls between Jewball and the real world were made for a reason! They protect it, we convinced ourselves. They keep it safe! We bought into that premise. We don’t buy into it anymore. The Revolution is over. Long live The Enlightenment. 
This is the first time we KNOW that a season being over is not goodbye. It’s not, see you next fall. There is a loss, for sure. The football is our lifeblood. We would die without it. But, The Enlightenment is an era that recognizes and embraces that Jewball has SO MUCH more to offer – and that is okay! Not only is it okay, but it’s been our destiny all along. We just didn’t know it. 

And we are just getting started. We are only first accepting this new version of reality. Who knows where it can go?

I don’t need to point out all the benefits of being enlightened. Chanukah, Purim (even our canceled parties are great!), Softball, Sumer BBQ, TBI, Draft Party, Friday kiddush, the myriad of storylines that don’t even register for the entire group (like my Shabbos in LA). There is so much to look forward to. But today is also a day to look back. As I always say and will always say – no matter how enlightened I may get….

Jewball requires good, gritty football. Requires skilled and committed players. I think we have been extremely blessed. We always had the best people. Now the best people are also the best football players we have ever had. There were some lulls in the action this season. A lot of distasteful and unsatisfying ties. But the games were generally very good. I think. They feel like a blur right now. Spira coming back for the Bowl Games is an impossible dream realized. The addition of our EXCEPTIONAL Rookie Class gave us all so much pride (Bert, Ernie, Rook, and Waldo – Thank you!). Vets Rooks could make me cry if I dwell on it. I’m so proud to have battled with my Vets, but the Rookies wanted it so badly and their desire to win was and is so inspiring. 

Leagues can improve. We all know it. And they will. Feit will draft better as he knows the players better. We will have the League Schedule less spread out. We will have the playoffs in the middle of the season (like the All Star Break) so that players are not so broken for ‘em. We will just do what we always do, which is strive to be better and have things make as much sense as possible, Daveo notwithstanding. 

The League Playoffs, which were not recapped, were memorable, but Red Sunday, yimach shmo v’zichro, happened. Was a bit of a mess. In the end, Gronk beat Yaron in a rather boring Championship game and Maor took MVP. You know all this. We live in the post-TBI era. Recaps have become a bit antiquated and obsolete. 
In that final contest it was Gronk’s team – The Cronies, over Singer’s team – The Lionhearts, for the victory. Which brings us to a different contest. 

I have to go back to what we talked about earlier. And I have to get maybe as real as I get in these recaps (I have a bit more license to do so in the Season finale). I do not have a savior complex. This is not a cult. I am not a cult leader. I may have always had a sort of paternal attitude toward my Jewballers ever since I became Commissioner. And I’m sure that inclination only increased as I got older and some of the guys got younger. Listen, I don’t know the details and I’m no yenta. I don’t know what goes on in people’s lives. But I can tell when someone is a bit lost and is looking for an outstretched arm. For a lifeline of sorts. I saw that at one point with Gronk. And I saw that at one point with Singer. I reached out but I didn’t know if either would reach back. All I can offer is Jewball. And whatever goes along with it. The distraction. The support system. Gronk, I thought maybe – but he is always on his own trip – he is tough to read. Singer – I would have sworn it was a futile effort. I never gave up on him outwardly. But I gave up on him because I didn’t believe he knew who I was and who we were.

Singer was MVP’s boy. That’s how I knew him. That’s how I met him. I think Oren told Snow that there was this game called Jewball and Snow figured he could bring his Croton crew in pre-Croton-season and warm them up. He’d beat up on some Jewballers, get his timing down, run some plays – and move on. We were desperate. We said: Thank you, sir. May I have another. Singer was one of those brutes MVP brought down. Picture Singer ten years younger, ten inches slimmer, and I honestly think he was five inches taller back then. He was mesmerizing. I remember one time at LHS (grass) I made a really nice catch reaching up blindly at full speed and Singer said “nice catch” and it was like a celebrity crush had acknowledged my existence. Truly never thought he would play without Snow. I hoped, but it was unrealistic. A few years later, when Jewball was knee deep in darkness, I saw him in North Woodmere Park playing with a Croton team and I was walking by and he gave me a big greeting. I was like…This guy remembers me? And he’s like “I’m coming back!” Big Singer smile. I was like, sure you are. You don’t even know who I am.
Then I would see him over the years. Every time: I’m coming back. And he was in worse and worse shape each time I saw him. So my hopes of playing with Singer went from slim to none (no pun intended). He would always email me (was email back then) when I was counting up heads for the new season about his desire to play and comeback. I did my best to encourage him – still wondering if he knew exactly who I was. I knew him, of course. I knew what he could be. But I didn’t think he cared about Jewball. Because his connection to us was so ancient and tenuous. 

And then all of a sudden – like a resurrection – he was back. 

He flipped a switch and decided to change his life. Trying to regain his old form. Like a miracle. But he was not back like he was the first time. Not a part timer. Not someone just using us to get ready for something else. But as a regular. A committed, observant and proud Jewballer. And it changed everything. It changed everything. 
Gronk changed everything too. He joined us a few years before Singer reconnected. Also a guy that I couldn’t be sure his intentions. Were we a one night stand? Was he looking for a long term relationship? He was a kid. His brother was a former Jewballer who had actually ushered in the Dark Ages by starting Degel, which was in direct competition with us. His demeanor was sullen and aloof, but his talent was tantalizing. He seemed to get and appreciate what we were trying to build. I noticed that. It meant he had potential to stick. And stick he did. After a few seasons of good ball and great chat performances, he set Jewball on fire this year. His reluctant effort at QB embarrassed a trio of guys who take their craft very seriously. He won a lot and made it look easy. He was unstoppable. He walks away with a League Championship after a brilliant draft night and equally genius comprehension of the dynamics of offense and defense.  He speaks volumes in the huddle with his eyes, smirk, and the same two words. It was one of the honors of my life to play for him and The Cronies. Gronk, I could go on. I really could – and maybe one day I will – but this is about Singer. You made it a hell of a decision, but Singer is the MVP of this Jewball Season. 

Singer, you are the Jewball MVP and it has been a long time coming. You have been waiting in line and watching other people take what you believed was yours. That drive is why you are back. That drive is why you went from out of shape to first round draft pick and MVP. I don’t know why – I really don’t – because you came in with the MVP Mercenaries – but you always loved Jewball. You trusted in me before it was fashionable. You said you would be back enough times until it went from fantasy to promise to reality. There is a reason teams you are on consistently win. You do everything well, but with such humility. Now that I know you better – now that we are friends 

 – I understand why you “noticed” me way back when. Because you are celebrity to everyone around you except yourself. You see yourself as a soldier, but everyone sees you as a leader. You play with the fearlessness and effervescence of a child, but you know this is the business of men.  You are an inspiration to every Jewballer. I am sure of it. On and off the field. Bro! You flew in for Vets Rooks and played your heart out!!! If that isn’t the embodiment of a Jewball MVP, then the award has no meaning. Singer, my Veteran brother (first true Vet to win it in many years), my friend, my inspiration to keep going and to fight the voices inside that say a decline is inevitable – to give in – it is my utmost privilege to name you our MVP for the 2021-22 Season. 

Here is the part where I am I usually so emotionally fragile that I crumble and lose my shit as I attempt to type some final words about exercise and diet and seeing you in five months. But this is The Enlightenment. We no longer depart or take hiatuses or reconvene. We are caught in an eternal cyclone – and we spin around in it voluntarily. We participate actively in each other’s lives – and that’s not weird. It’s okay. It’s good. 
Life is hard and confusing enough. It’s an often arbitrary bitch that picks on us for no apparent reason. It does not ALLOW us to take a break. So we cannot. Jewball cannot have breaks. We stand united 24/7/365 – for as long as we draw beath. Even as one season ends and we prepare for a new one. We will miss the football. But we will not miss Jewball. Because Jewball – in the age of Enlightenment – has become as real as life itself.

Congratulations to the Cronies for winning the Jewball League 2021-2022 Championships!

Cronies defeated the Lionhearts 5-2, with Maor scoring 2 TD’s and taking home the Finals MVP honors.

Cronies 6 – FCFT 3

Twas at the dawn of the sun on that auspicious day. Thine families gathered within their broods preparing for the epic battles which were destined to be waged that fateful morn. Thus the hot eye of heaven doth shine unto the clear fields of Lawrence, thine fields both lined up in unison.  Thine Cronies vs thine Feit Club and Lionhearts vs BOPeth. Twas unknown how bloody the battles would become and how many bodies would be left on the field on what will forever be known as Red Sunday.

Tis a tale of great glory between the Cronies and Feit Club. Thine Cronies were barely able to scramble a team together in what was the first tragedy of the day, Logan, we’d later find out was having a most painful stomach virus. (picture the bathroom scene from dumb and dumber) Gronk, Solo, Munch, Klink, Maor, Jordon and Waldo on one side, facing Feit, O, Kut, Storm, Vegh, MK, Rabin and Rook. There was a lot of talk going into the game, would Feit Club finally come together as a team? Would Munch and Solo continue to wreak havoc on the QB’s? Would Maor actually show up? How high would Klink be? Would Vegh get any passes from Feit?

Right from the start, it was clear that people were amped. As if the bloodlines were filled with flagons of heavy wine flowing strongly, beating like a thunderous rain, through the cold veins. Cronies scored early with a long Gronk pass over the top to Solo, catching the FCFT with their pants down. 1-0. In a quick and methodical response, Feit marched back down the field and with a beauty of a pass over the defense, MK makes the first of his ridiculous diving catches. 1-1. In a string of solid defensive plays, FCFT gets a pick but fails to score on the ensuing drive. Cronies make a few plays but then try and go for it on 4th and short and fail to pick up the first. Feit uses the opportunity to go up 2-1 with a deep pass to speeding Rook. (let’s give credit to the kid who showed up week in and week out, not knowing if he’d even be playing. He will forever be known as Rook but he will go a long way if he keeps bringing that fire and passion) It would be the last time FCFT would have the lead. In what could have been a game changing play, Gronk lobs one up and it hits Feit smack in the chest, only to bounce away, along with hopes and dreams of Feit Club.  In the next drive, Gronk once again hits an open, leaking Solo who takes it 70 yards before being brought down. A well-drawn play by Gronk has Waldo speeding across the middle of the end zone and makes a great catch. 2-2. It is a great battle at the line between the top lineman in the league Munch and Solo vs Kut and O, it lives up to the hype. Each down would be hard fought and would dictate what would happen in the rest of the play. Solo finally learned to pull a flag and got 1 sack on the day. Munch would have a lot of pressures and end with two sacks on the day. Kut managed to find his way to one sack and O had his share of pressures on Gronk. Gronk managed to create another scoring opportunity and took the lead for good, going up 3-2. Feit club was able to get a few drives together but couldn’t get down the field. The game was close, each play, each set of downs would be important, each catch and each drop would be integral to a win or loss. On a 3rd and long, Gronk is feeling the pressure of the rush and somehow throws a laser over the defense for a back shoulder pass to a streaking Waldo, who makes the catch and manages to hold on as he goes down hard into the sideline. (Gotta give credit to Bentzi, it’s great to see a guy develop and improve right in front of you. End of last season and beginning of this season, his hands weren’t there. He was quick, had height, but couldn’t pull the ball down. But, like rook, he put effort in, he stayed after games to practice and learn from guys like Yaron, Ivry, Feit, and Jordan. He worked on himself, and we are now seeing the fruits of his labor. MVP of vets/rooks, and a great game on Sunday.) Well as we said, he went down hard. His shoulder was hurting, but he tried to get back into the game for the next play. No bueno. This time the pain was too great, he tried to come back, but it was too late. This led to a conundrum on the Cronies, they were down to 6 players with no subs available. Unless…. “Hey Steve-O, you only have one hand, but can you at least pretend to play?” “Hey Goldberg, you’ve been standing on the sideline yapping away for an hour, you wanna get in?” ultimately, it was Steve-O who would sacrifice his body and Shalom bayis for the love of the game. (He magically had his cleats with him, so that tells you something.) After getting Goldberg to tie his laces, (seriously, guy had only one usable hand.) Steve-O joined his Cronies. No Gronk, you can’t put him on the line and hope that we’ll feel bad attacking him. On that same set Gronk finds a leaking Solo once again who manages to stiff arm his way to the end zone for another TD. 4-2. Feit takes the ball on the 5 and puts together a couple short plays. 4th and long, have to go for it, MK comes into the huddle and says, “give me a back shoulder at the marker.” Feit draws up a play and manages to throw a bullet to MK who makes another incredible diving, back shoulder catch at the first down marker. Building on that momentum, Feit marches down the field and ends the set with a pass and great catch by Rabin for a TD. 4-3. Gronk gets the ball back and wisely calls run play after run play to eat up the clock and with heavy pressure coming after him, escapes the sack and throws another TD. 5-3. What would be the final score of the game. Feit club had a chance to make it a closer game. A great ball to Vegh with a tackle/flag pull by a one-handed Steve-O gets them to mid field. Another beauty of a lob looked like it was going to land right in the hands of Vegh streaking down the left sideline, only to be picked off by Gronk, who reached out at the last second to end the drive and the hopes of a FCFT win.

Jewball is tough here, and since the season is technically over, is there even a Jewball to be awarded? I’m open for discussion, but I think it has to go to Solo, guy was amped, body literally shaking with the pre-workout he chugged before the game. He had 2 TD’s, 1 sack, lots of pressure and countless plays. His stiffarm is deadly and he’s very difficult to bring down.

The game was truly a hard-fought battle, both teams played well. Feit Club had its chances, but just couldn’t pull through. They needed to play a perfect game, but alas, twas not. There were injuries on both sides, Feit had a badly bruised knee, Waldo’s got a fractured shoulder, Kut’s got a sprained finger, Solo could only do half a workout, and everyone who played is in just general soreness and exhaustion from leaving everything on the field.

This however doesn’t compare to what was happening in the BOP vs. lionhearts game…..

Lionhearts 3 – BOP 2 (5OT)

A PJ’s Dazed and Confused Perspective!

The postseason In every sport presents itself with the best teams from the regular season. In Jewball, while everyone makes it, that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be there. Every Jewballer plays with heart and soul. We embody our leader J, and the leaders before him. Sunday which will be given the name “Bloody Sunday” or “Red Sunday”, for so much that occurred on the field, will be a day that Jewballers will be speaking about for another decade. This recap will focus on the Lionhearts vs the defending champions, Birds of Pray, aka BOP. This is also the championship rematch of Yaron vs Pray. However this time Dobs will be on Yarons side after Yaron snatched him in the 6th round of the draft. More on Dobs later.

These two teams match up so well on paper and the regular season provided the same evidence. BOP won the first game of the season 2-1 and they tied
2-2 in the fourth game. Although, LH were never at full strength for those games, BOP was 1-0-1 against them and Pray has had the edge on Yaron in league games since it’s inception. Yaron has yet to beat Pray in the league. The # 2 seed Lionhearts are led by their QB Yaron and he lines up with Singer, who was voted by his peers as the MVP of the season, Ivry (TD leader), Jack, Zada, Dobs (MIP of the season), Beast, Big E (late scratch sort of!), and Sam. #3 Birds of Pray are led by their QB, Pray who lines up with his first round weapon and the co-TD leader and possibly the most dynamic Jewballer for the last 12 years in Mighty, Prime his bestie and most reliable stiff arm, Legs the killer( more on that!), Salem, Dave-O, PJ’s, and Eddie. Tom who was lost for the season was very missed! These two teams know each other and you knew this would be a battle for all 90 minutes… cough cough, 3 hours!

Pray starts with the ball but goes 3 and out after some short yardage plays to Mighty. Yaron gets the ball and BOP defense knew they needed to play at their best. And they did. Yaron gives it right back. Pray goes back to short game but it doesn’t work. Yaron gets the ball back and starts getting some throws to Ivry and they get the games first, first down. But they eventually give it back. Pray starts moving the ball and it starting to work but he’s got a 3rd down at the 50 and launches it deep but is picked off by Zada at 20 yard line. Yaron begins another drive with getting the ball to Zada for yards. Then find Jack over the middle but Dave-O thinks he has a INT, Jack holds on but is tripped and hits his head on the ground. Jack didn’t look good. We helped him off the field but his day was done. Yaron’s troops were worried about Jack but it was 8:40 and they needed a win. Yaron finds the man who took him down in the championship last year in Dobs for the first score of the game. PJ’s is pumped up and Pray can sense it. He finds PJ’s open down the sideline for a big 35 yard reception and a first down. The next play Pray runs for a 30 yard TD to tie the game.

LH would get the ball back but this time Dobs is coming off the field and enter in Big E(shh his wife can’t know!!) in his regular clothes. LH were down to 6 players and he stepped up. Dobs and Jack on the bench. Yaron stalled on his next drive. BOP gets the ball back and are trying to take the lead until Sam calls Pray for being over the line in the first controversial call of the game. BOP gives the ball back. Yaron and LH just cant sustain drives. BOP knows they have one Mighty drive left until the siddur play. Pray has wanted to hit Mighty deep all year and he finally connects! 2-1 BOP and it’s 9:15. Mighty Walks off the field assuming the championship is in sight next week. BOP is down to 7 players. Dobs back in the game, Big E gone as well. Kudos to E, he was sick and found a way into the game to help his team. Yaron knows he needs to tie. So he finds a weakness in the defense and hits Singer for 40 yards and gets great field position. Yaron is positioned to tie. He gets a few short yardage plays to get another first and now it’s first and goal. On first down he runs it to get close to the 10. Second down Eddie calls Yaron over the line which is a very questionable call and it’s a loss of down. And he can no longer run. 3rd down he finds Ivry who can’t hold on in a tight pocket throw. 4th down, game on the line, the ball is going to Singer. Singer makes a PI call just before the ball hits off singer and Prays hands and falls incomplete. Everyone is confused. Singer never makes a call and if he does it means it’s legit. A call is made and must be respected even If BOP doesn’t agree. LH get another chance and Ivry one on one with Salem makes a nice Catch to score. Game is tied. Both teams get one last chance to score but BOP fails to do much. Lionhearts are now driving to win the game. This is where things get crazy. Yaron hits Singer for a big first down. Then Yaron takes one himself and PJ’s tracks Yaron before the first down marker but Legs who is trailing Yaron collides with his teammate head to head both players are on the ground and laying on the next field. Legs appears to have gotten hurt as well but PJ’s holding Yarons flag in his hand. Pj’s is hurt and is concussed, but he tells everyone that he is ok when he is clearly not. First down and goal. Yaron throws to beast who drops it. Second down Yaron is sacked by Legs. Third down Ivry calls PI on Prime but prime argues that Ivry was out of bounds. LH get another 3rd down. Yaron goes deep to Ivry, who beats pray and drops the game winner. Tough catch to make over Pray but it’s down to a 4th down play again. Yaron once again will target Singer but Pray once again is their to stop it.

First Jewball playoff overtime. BOP gets the last licks and Yaron starts with the ball at his own 5. He throws a screen to singer and he gets some yards. On second down Yaron rolls out and looks deep but Legs hits the ball as he throws it. It’s a helicopter in the air and Pray the leader in INT’s picks it off. Pray runs it back to the 18 yard line and BOP with a chance to walk off and win the game. However, on the run back, Beast took a shot and hurt his shoulder really bad. He had to leave the game. Klink comes into the game and on first down grabs a nice flag on a QB run. 2nd down Pray hits a screen to Prime and they get down to the 7 yard line. 3rd down, Pray rolls and finds a wide open Salem who can’t hold on Because he thought he might go out of bounds. Salem is a great dude and he brings so much to Jewball and BOP, but it’s not on him, yes he should know the out of bounds marker, but just like it wouldn’t have been on Ivry if LH lost. BOP would have another chance.

But at the same time of the drop, a collision happens and it’s a scary one. It involves this author and prime, yes teammates. The video is weird to watch. I lost a good 10 minutes of my life. I’m told that I was out cold for 4 minutes but I only remember being in ambulance and feeling all confused. I should’ve left the game after the Legs collision for the sake of my family. But dammit you Jewball fam, thank you for calling Hatzhalah and 911 and ensuring that my life and safety were in the right hands. I’m thankful to all of you for the photos but mostly by informing my wife of my condition. Yes a part of me wishes I had woken up on my own. But I had given BOP everything I could as I promised. My health and safety needed to come first. I was told Prime took a good shot as well. Luckily he was ok to continue….

But why?? Why didn’t anyone stop this madness?  More on this for TBI! It’s 10:30 and Legs needs to leave and ambulances take PJ’s off for what might possibly be his last game! BOP needs 2 players and Rabin and Jordan come in. Sam needed to leave and LH got a replacement as well. We finally resume play and on 4th down Yaron and Singer bottle up prime at the 1 and the continuation of Overtime happens. I will not go into this back and forth in OT. These were not the same teams or players who started. But In college overtime #4 and at 11 am, Dobs came down with the game winner a 15 yard TD from Yaron. Dobs is the MVP of the game. Played hurt and applied pressure on Pray all game. 2 TD’s and the game winner!Yaron made the right draft pick and Dobs rewarded him!

This was a rough one to win for the Lionhearts in terms of the injuries and the rosters and it’s not how they drew it up. injuries and people leaving will diminish the battle between these two teams. Both Yaron and Pray did everything they could do to get their teams the W, Some feel a rematch should happen… But Lionhearts get the W and they earned it!! They will do battle with the Cronies at a TDB time for the chip….stay tuned to Kut’s recap on that game!

We are back to the polls to give respect to those who we believe have earned the achievements below. While some polls are limited to choices, some have write in ballots. Please consider what these players do on the field, what they do for their team, the stats they accumulate, and how they impact the game each time they walk on the gridiron.

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MVP Candidates

Gronk: On offense or defense, as QB or WR, when Gronk’s head is in the game he will lead his team to victory and make it look simple and effortless. Gronk has had a career year and has been an MVP front-runner all season long.

Pray: Reigning MVP, Pray is a well-rounded player, a threat at QB when he is making a pass or on his feet, and is equally as talented on defense, posting a league-leading 19 ints. There’s nothing wrong with Pray, who has excelled the second half of this season.

Singer: It is hard to ask for a better teammate than Singer, considered by most to be the league’s all-around best player. Singer commands his team’s defense and make the big plays to lead (block) his team to victory, and carries the leagues highest win %.

Munch: The league’s #1 overall pick is a menace who changes the entire game when he is on the field. Whether you are safe behind him or running from him, he has heart and an engine which never quits. Munch smashed all existing sack stats record this season with 54 in 19 games.

Yaron: Yaron takes this game more seriously and strategically than most, with a cannon arm, he is a large-caliber player who aims to win. Returning from injury with some season highs and lows, Yaron still leads the league in TD passes thrown (66) and was awarded a league-high 7 Jewballs.

MVP will ultimately be determined by the Commissioner

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For the best sticker award, please click the link below to see the stickers referenced

Stickers

It felt like a privilege to write last week’s recap. This week feels like an obligation. I have very little in the tank right now but want to get this done for you deserving Jewballers. Perhaps the best thing about last Sunday, Week 20 to be followed by Week 17 makeup – is that it was a winter wonderland. A fresh coating of snow lay on the turf with shimmer frozen crytals falling throughout the game. Yaron had a bad week. He is lucky I am not at my full powers. He lost two. Didn’t look sharp. Didn’t give his teams a chance. In the opener he lost to Feit who needed a win and a positive performance in the worst way. He got it. He threw 4 TDs to 4 different receivers. Dobs made a great TD grab over Zada for one of them. Feit ran one in. Jordan finally got his 12th. Feit just looked very good. A lost season is temporarily found. But it’s about what he does next. Whatever it is, he does it with a shiny new Jewball on his mantle. Welcome back to the Club, Feit.
Game 2 was a tad more competitive in that the score was closer. But Yaron was off again. He was picked twice. Once in the endzone. The other was a Dobs P6. Decision making is definitely an issue that needs fixing right now. Pray had a stacked team and won without much trouble 3-1. Jewball isn’t easy since everyone did a little. Let’s go with a defensive juggernaut right now who is racking up the sacks and hosted us all for a superbowl BBQ after the game. Jewball to Salem – a man who demands to be remembered!

There was talk on the Vets chat before last Sunday about pressure. In particular, the inability of the Rooks to bring any. And the unstoppable amount that would be brought by the Vets. This pressure inequality would surely carry the day for the Vets. So it was alleged.

How this turned out – we know.

But there was pressure Sunday outside of that related to line-play. Pressure for the Vets to continue a winning streak that spanned three years and made the Revolution a Jewball era that welcomed in many Rookies, but at the same time kept them in their place. And the pressure was felt by the Rookies to break that chain, stem the tide, stop the trend – and flip the script. 

Now there is the pressure on this recap writer to do justice to a Sunday that would defy Homer and Virgil to tell such epics within the physical limitations of the page, let alone the screen. But here we go-

I took some time this week to look back at the origin of Vets Rooks and listen for its echo to inform anything I may come up with here. Not only did I find the very day in 2006 where the idea was born and presented, I found the recap and results of 11 contests. If they were played every year since 2006, I guess we played Vets Rooks XVI a few days ago. Whether its number 14 or 15 or 16 – it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that – like everything in Jewball – we make it more than a game. No, not a cult. A family. A family tradition. A family tradition where half the family leaves inspired and the other half leaves miserable. 

Of course what gets to me most reading the old Vets Rooks recaps is the names. I recalled the sting of many many losses. The disappointment with my contemporaries who seemed to be slowing down and couldn’t go next gear to compete. I recalled the excitement leading up to the game and the good spirited but venomous trash talk that always ensued. Sure, all that was apparent and felt afresh. But…it’s the names that really blow my mind. Klink, as he mentioned – was a Rookie in the first game. But by Vets Rookies II he was with the Vets. And he was with me and Rabin on Sunday. As he was in 2007. That’s fifteen damn years ago if you are counting. FIFTEEN years ago, the Vets team featured 3 of the same 7 players that played last week. That’s almost half the team! God Bless Jewball! And as I read it’s like a montage of moments being played – feeling at the same time imminent and ancient. Uri is perplexing the Vets. Yoni bests his brother Yirmi. Doggy can’t keep up with Yehuda. There goes Joey…bye. Mighty and Zez dominate for the Rooks for a decade. Bye Yakir. Bye Yoni. Bye my generation. Snow and Singer add to the Vets’ endless woes. But you live long enough and you are merited miracles. You stick around and put in the work and there are rewards…Rewards that are satisfying because on one level they feel earned.
But just as much they feel overwhelming and very much stolen. Like there must be some mistake. How am I playing on a Sunday with Vets like Steveo, Mighty, Singer, Kut, Munch, PJs, Tom, Daveo, even Gronk. Gronk feels new to me. We’ve been playing together for 5 years! The rest of em….my God! I remember the first time they stepped on the field with us. I remember sizing each of them up, analyzing what they might be, writing them up in some recap. Never in my wildest dreams did I think they’d be running it back with me year after year with the Vets like Doggy and Yoni once did. I know this is becoming about me and that’s not my intention. I’m just trying to convey the enormity of what we are accomplishing together. If Vets Rooks is about anything it is that we are all in this together. Whether this is the game or THE GAME – it’s together. It. Is. Together. Who is with me? We are in this together. We push each other to (our version of) greatness. That is the theme. Vets Rooks is Vets telling the Rooks you will have something to offer even when you are up here with us and it is the Rooks telling Vets you cannot underestimate anything or anyone. We must grow. We must strive. And we do that by pushing each other. It’s support by way of contest. It’s also of course storytelling. It is another chapter in the great and infinite Jewball mythology. 

So, let’s get to legendizing:

I will get the hardest part out of the way. The Rooks won the day. That can’t be argued. Two games were played. The Vets won neither. The Rooks won one and tied one. So the won the day. Period. I compliment the Rooks and I temper my bitterness. This will not be a recap of excuses – although I would not be completely out of line to go there, since…well….I’m not – like I said.

Vets Rooks has never been a double header but The Revolution is all about new awesomeness. Over the years, we have done V/R as an age cut off thing and a years of service thing – last Sunday we did both. Game 1 was Vets being over 31 and Rooks being 31 and under. Game 2 was Vets being 5 years of service and Rooks being 4 and under. We have reached an unimaginable stage of this moed  (time/holiday) that even with many prominent Jewballers failing to make the pilgrimage, we still had two games of 8s with only Pray playing both. Let that sink in. God Bless Jewball. 
For the Seniors: Yaron at QB, E, Munch, Sam, Beast, Tom, Steveo, and Singer. Let’s talk about Singer for a second. To begin with…I love this guy. I told him I am desperate for him to win an MVP so I can soliloquize about him for a few pages. He is always right there, but something goes awry – which is of course so Singer. The guy is such a special player and person….well….I’m gonna save it. Wait for that MVP announcement whenever it comes. Another reason I can’t retire yet. On this particular day he did something remarkable – perhaps with that MVP in mind….He is in Florida for the weekend for a family simcha…..HE FLIES BACK IN FOR VETS ROOKS – He leaves for the airport from the field after doing everything he could in Game 1 to give the Vets a W. So…some might say…he’s crazy. But….it’s never crazy to live a great life. How can anyone think that? We should all aspire to greatness and Singer is showing us how that is done. Life has rules, sure. But so many of the rules we live by we place upon ourselves and they are based on expectations of others. Whenever you think you want to do something great but can’t….think of Singer getting on that flight on Saturday night, coming to the field bright and early, and playing his ass off….then racing over to JFK. And don’t think about how funny it is or belittle it as being a quirky anecdote. That’s an insult. That’s self-defeating. Instead, think about how life can be lived on terms that are transcendent! And f***ing achieve that!

The Juniors were lead by the embattled Feit and comprised of Bert, MK, Effie, Tabak, Zada, Pray, and Solo. 
The bottom line is these teams are stacked. Incredible assemblage of talent.  I will say that the old v. young game is naturally going to favor the young because…y’know….they usually can move a lot faster than their elders. But we have a Hulk! Well two Hulks. One named Munch and the other named Singer. That gave the Vets a punchers chance. Add to that an all around talented team. Yaron is a hot and cold QB (usually within the same game) who can throw passes of pure fire and just as readily burn his team. Steveo has something forever Rookie about him. You just always believe he is some high school kid who can run for days. Tom has been on a tear. E is just super competitive and angry and that always plays. And Sam can rip off your arms and replace them with realistic other arms. 

Yaron and Feit are similar in a way. The problem is never their arms or their play calling. It’s always their decision making. They don’t take what the defense gives them. They scan and scan for something great perhaps, but on 1st or 2nd down sometimes you should just take what is good. 

Early in the game Yaron had one thing working very well. Passes to Singer. They hooked up for big yards a number of times, but when he looked elsewhere the result was disappointing. Feit was struggling similarly. He could get a few completions, but was unable to sustain drives. Twenty minutes into the game it was scoreless when disaster struck for the Vets in about 4 different ways. Munch injured his thumb and pulled himself from the game to assess the damage. Yaron dropped back to pass from the Rooks’ 10 yard line and got clobbered by….maybe Bert…and threw a pick to MK who easily took it in for the score. Rooks took the lead while Yaron was on his back. It was deflating moment and the Vets had to consider whether this was going to get ugly fast. It did get a bit uglier. Yaron’s offense was still flailing. Feit looked good in the first half. He had a beautiful fade to MK in the right corner to set up a Zada TD. The Rooks were off and running with a 2-0 lead. Steveo of course made a vintage Steveo pick and the hope was that it was the sign of a turnaround…and it kind of was.

Munch came back in and – although he was not 100% – he was effective in chasing Feit and making him really uncomfortable. Munch would stay in and Feit would not put up another score for the remainder of the game. Meanwhile, Yaron and Beast started to put their differences aside and create some magic. For a good two drives it was the Yaron and Beast show. Beast was taking the Rooks to school with great hands, speed, shiftiness, and stiff arms. Although Yaron did his best to squander Beast’s efforts by going impotent in the red zone, Pray decided to drop a pick and tip the ball to Tom…who caught it for a TD. Vets trailing by 1. 

Like Munch, Steveo took himself out for a thumb injury, but unlike Munch, Steveo is human, so he remained on the sidelines for the remainder of the game. Jordan, PJs and Mighty rotated in, with Mighty being the most effective. Basically, he came in and it looked like a different team. Fresh old legs in a game that was an hour and fifteen minutes old. At some point Tom kicked Bert – which everyone liked. We will learn more about this in our recap of Game 2, but Mighty  was took the Vets Rooks game as an opportunity to go old school assassin. He picked Pray and nearly took it all the way. With the dynamic duo back together, Singer stepped up and made the catch that tied the game with minutes left. With that….our hero…Snow Pup Singer dashes off into the sunrise – his aura bright and radiant. In OT, Feit still could not rediscover that first half magic and Yaron had the ball last with an opportunity to win the game and give the Vets their 4th win in a row. A spectacular drive ensued of which I can tell you nothing about other than that I was sh***ing in my pants the whole time. Once again, the red zone became his kryptonite and the a 1st and goal stunningly turned into a 4th and goal. As Mighty jumped for a laserbeam in the back of the endzone, the hearts of every Vet from B-sh to BD to Zez to Spira jumped along with him…..but as his cleats landed at least partially on the white strip that marks the back of the endzone….the hopes of a win died. But it was also a non-loss. It was left to the Vets of Game 2 to make seize the day…or not. But that tale is for another day.

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Three reasons why Vets Rooks matters (or at least feels like it does). 1.) The Challenge: Everyone has something to prove. 2.) The Tribalism: Like Leagues, the feeling of being part of a defined group rallying united. 3.) The Trash Talk: Every nerve-ending is at attention responding to the digs and barrage of provocations.  It heightens the drama like no other game.

But,  that is all in the pre-game analysis. Once the ball is snapped,  the game itself will dictate whether it mattered or not. This past Sunday,  Vets Rooks mattered; both in the pre-op and in the postmortem.

The challenge was real. Gronk v. Pray. Two MVP contenders with pride – going head to head. The Vets being Mighty, Jordan, Rabin, Klink, PJs, Daveo, and Kut. Each bleeding Vet pride more than the next. Wanting to prove that they still got it for themselves and for the Vets of today and yesteryear. The Rooks being Prime Storm and Salem representing a more experienced brand of Rook. Irv,  a bit seasoned himself and the standard for talent for the next decade. And true Rooks, Ernie, Waldo, and the namesake Rook himself. Trying to prove that they belong and are going nowhere. That one day they will battle for the Vets. That they will not fade away like so many pretenders have before them.

The Tribalism was real. The Vets were breathing as one. A single organism with so many games and years of Jewball under their belts. Each one knowing how much it meant. Each one knowing exactly what the others were thinking. The Rookies as well, bound by their up and coming status. The chip being large and heavy but shared and resting with its weight divided evenly across their shoulders. The Rookies are usually weakened by their inability to get on the same page. To find common ground. To think like a team. The elder statesmen Rooks made sure that wasn’t going to happen. There was something different about this Rookie team because of what Prime, Pray, Salem and Storm brought to the table this year. Vets Rooks is always about youth v. experience. Well, look the f*** out when the youth HAS experience.

The Trash Talk was real. There are no hard feelings in Jewball. It is all love. But there is healthy competition. And there is aggression between certain players. A desire to best the other. And the Rookies had to eat it for the past three years. They did so. But it had to have been frustrating to take the boasting from the Vets year after year and leading up to the game. They could not respond. They could only think – maybe whisper – “you’ll see…”
To the game.

If it wasn’t on the very first drive that Pray and the Rooks scored, it was the second. Throwing screens and blockers, mostly to Jordan’s side and with Pray running when he needed to….the ball just moved on the Vets. It was a sort of bullying tactic that set the precedent early on. A wise move to make a statement: We may be Rooks but we will not be intimidated. We will impose our will. First downs came very easily. In the end, with Pray at the 5, he does his usual thing running ten yards back and to the right side. The defense shifts over to bottle him up and cover his commitment to the right side of the endzone. But…Pray does something a bit different. He swivels his shoulders and spots Salem wide open at about the line of scrimmage on the opposite side of the field. Pray guns it cross body and Salem makes the catch. Only Klink was patient enough to stay home on the rollout by Pray so he is still there, between Salem and the goal line. Salem at the 5, Klink at the 3. Mano a Mano. Rook v. Vet. Salem ducks in, then out, Klink falls. Salem takes it in. Rooks take a 1-0 lead.

Vets got the ball and did the very same thing the Rooks had done. Marched down the field quite easily. We didn’t use screens because we have Mighty to just run around defenders. And we have Gronk who just finds people open wherever they may be. With Jordan and Mighty running deeper routes, Daveo was open a lot in the first half and making big yard catches. Gronk is also a master of the hips (a hipster) and he can evade flag grabs with a shimmy. Whereas Pray closed the deal on his opening drive with a TD, Gronk feeds the burgeoning Rookie Beast by throwing a pick in the endzone to the Rook himself. Talk about a bad omen. From there it got worse. Vet drives were fruitless when it came to scoring and the Rooks were piling up TDs. Prime was so good on Sunday. I’ll tell you right now he’s not getting Jewball, but I feel like Jewball would not be good enough for what he was on Sunday – if that makes sense. He was the soul of his team. There is no award for that. He (with Salem also very much in that supernatural realm) made sure of the result. The result late in the 2nd quarter was 3-0 Rooks because Prime and Pray had put up 2 more unanswered points. 

The Vets called a Time Out! The Defensive scheme wasn’t working. The Rooks were going shot so Mighty at safety was taken out of the game. The line wasn’t getting to Pray. Gronk rushing from the LB was too little too late. New Defense: Mighty plays middle LB. Gronk spies QB and doesn’t rush. PJs and Kut will go after the QB. It changed everything. All of a sudden. Screens were being blown up. Pray couldn’t run (as much). And PJs and Kut were getting real pressure on the QB. At one point PJs put his league QB on the turf with Vet-geance! The Vets knew that Gronk would eventually put up TDs. He always does. So it was a matter of getting stops. The Vets got a stop. Gronk found Kut underneath and Kut made a move with a stiff arm and took it to the house. Vets are on the board 3-1 going into half time.
As the second half started, the Vets had some hope. And that hope went into overdrive when Jordan picked Pray on a deep ball to Ernie and ran it back to the Vets 26. Gronk and Mighty quickly cashed in the turnover with a TD. Mighty, like Prime, came to play on a level that few Jewballer can touch. It’s something some players just have – are born with. Big game fierce. If Gronk put the ball anywhere near Mighty he caught it and turned into bonus yards. And he always covered – just mattered if it was single or double. All of a sudden with 40 minutes to go it was a once score game. The momentum had shifted way over to the Vets. But it still didn’t feel comfortable. The Rooks had a fire that would not go out – and certainly not while they held on to the lead. And as momentum in sports tends to do – it swings in an instant. That instant was an inexplicable pass from Gronk to Waldo. I don’t know what Gronk saw. I mean, Waldo was wide open, but still….he was on the other team. He wears a very unique hat. Every Vet is short. Whatever they case, Waldo with the pick. Perhaps it was another one of those bad omens. Perhaps it was a day where a madenning Waldo pick needed to be foreshadowed. The Vets are barely recovered from the shock when Pray somehow does what he always does – rolls right – and gets past all defenders for a score. It is 4-2 Rooks.

The Vets strike right back but now the clock is at 30 minutes to go. It’s Mighty again. Just making crazy catches and crazy runs and refusing to be denied greatness. He returns the score to a one point Rook advantage with 25 minutes left.

Pray scored again, I don’t really care how, but it made it 5-3. Gronk was under a lot of pressure from Salem and he could not really do as he pleased, but MIghty was always reliable throughout the game. Like I said…throw it to him…he will catch it. When the Vets needed him most in the waning minutes of the game, Gronk tosses a ball to Mighty who was covered stride for stride by two Rooks and he made the catch and left them in his dust. 15 minutes left. 5-4 Rooks.

The Rooks were driving to ice the game with 10 minutes to play. The Vets defense was doing a good job keeping the Rooks from the big play, but the clock was ticking. Vets would get ball last either way, but a score by the Rooks would make last licks meaningless. At midfield, the Rooks faced a 4th and short and decided to go for it. Go for the W. Pray rolls left and looks to dump the ball to Salem underneath, but then decides to run. Of course he is way back because…that’s what he does. Jordan bolts in from the corner and evades Salem’s late breaking block. He meets Pray a yard before the line and manages to get the flag for the 4th down sack and hold. 3 plays later Gronk finds Rabin – the VET of all VETS – to tie the game!
The Vets hold the Rooks to a quick 3 and out. With 3 minutes left, Gronk and the Vets have the ball and with a single drive can win the game and keep the streak alive. Can provide an amazing capper to the recent run of the Vets. And everything came crashing down right away. Right away. On the first snap of what was poised to be a step toward greatness, Ivry rushes and gets a hand on the ball…it sinks instead of zips. Mighty can’t adjust in time. Waldo can adjust in time. Waldo dives for the ball while somehow staying on his feet. I guess that’s a tall person thing. He picks it off his shoe tops. He dashes into the endzone which is 6 yards away. Waldo races through the back of the endzone and spikes the ball in celebration with his teammates racing in behind him like fireworks into the night sky. It is astonishing. For this Vet, it was beautiful and tragic.

There is still time on the clock so the Vets get another drive. But much like when Zada scored that TD in a similarly awesome and hyped game last month when the Cronies faced the Lionhearts…you just knew. Waldo had won the Rooks that game. Whether it was in OT or regulation – you knew. Gronk and Jordan made it interesting, twice converting on 4th downs with desperation throws (pitches). But, like I said…you knew. In the end, the Vets got to about their 22, but failed to tie up the game and send it into OT. The Rooks pulled it out and made their statement. I didn’t even have the heart to remind them to take a picture.

Jewball is not easy. As I said…Pray, Prime, Storm, and Salem lead by example – showing the kind of commitment that is needed as well as playmaking. But…when I look at that game, when I remember that game, there is only one play that is gonna shatter me to my core. There is only play that didn’t make any sense in the flow of the narrative. Every single play in that game I can process. Except for what Waldo did in that final Vet drive. That he got that ball, didn’t fall on his face, and lead all the Rookies out the damn back of the endzone to an after party that they hadn’t even earned yet. If you are a stat-head he also had 2 sacks and the other stupid pick. Jewball to you Waldo. Love that you are now part of this family. As well as your other true Rookies. Congratulations again to all the Rookies who played this year. From the Veterans: We give you a hard time, but we know you are the future. One day this will be yours and it will only continue and be able to do great things if you stick to your craft and our traditions. We really want to beat you next year but in the meantime….thanks for joining us and making it feel like it was meant to be.

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So many storylines were created after the first meeting of FC vs BOP that the What’s Wrong With Pray segment on TBI gained steam. Feit was riding great statistics from that game and Storm looked like an MVP candidate. O and Kut had 2 straight league games of dominance – and BOP looked like a lost team. ​However, 2 months is a long time in Jewball. And what comes up must come down. Feit and Storm each missed time and Vegh and O each had issues with Feit prior to a league game with the Lionhearts. FC would be without Feit against the Cronies and they were blown out. And with FC now in last place and BOP looking to make a run. What would the results be?

Mother Nature said that this game would be the coldest game possibly in Jewball history. Salem had to sit out. Eddie would as well. Legs had a siddur play which would make him leave early, And for FC, Vegh was and is still in Jersey (his bed ). But 15 Jewballers braved the climate and met for what was primed to be a real tough matchup. Pray started with the ball and showed that he wanted to utilize the run early but FC grabbed some flags and a 3 and out ensued. FC would follow the same path. BOP’s second drive was highlighted by Tom calling for the ball and Pray throwing it with ease for 75 yards and an early 1-0 lead. FC was definitely feeling the effects of a cold QB coming back in the cold from broken ribs. But Feit hung in there until a big Dave-O sack forced them to punt. Speaking of Dave-O, he would get himself some handoffs and take one to the house for a 2-0 lead. Next FC possession was looking good and they were driving down the field with throws to Storm, MK, and Tabak. 4th and 10 and Feit was ready to get his team on the scoreboard after a 3rd down blitz by Dave-O that sent them back, Dave-O jumped on 4th and the line called a free play. Feit kept playing but BOP didn’t. TD to Storm was called off and the redo down got a PJ’s hit on Feits arm that Dave-O nearly picked off.  BOP would give the ball back but this time Pray was waiting for his chance on D and picked off Feit for a pick 6. 3-0 BOP. FC looked lost. BOP would get the ball again but this time Pray found Mighty deep to make it 4-0. Mighty on the next FC possession would pick off Feit but Pray threw a bad ball to Storm who had the pick. FC gave it back. Pray would find Tom again for a bobble and toe tapping TD. 5-0 BOP and Legs would leave after a sack and great pressures all game. In comes Walls. FC would have some good drives at the end with TDs to Tabak and Storm. Prime would get in on the action as well with a TD reception. Final score 6-2 BOP. Great to see Feit back… FC has work to do… Jewball goes to my fellow TBI, Dave-O as he was tenacious and instrumental in the win. Honorable mention to Tom Pray and Mighty! But Dave-O made the difference!

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Jewball is an education. In a lot of things. We all know that. One of the first lessons it taught me was that adapting is necessary and expectations are a trivial pursuit. You never know what’s going to happen. I certainly didn’t know what was going to happen 21 years ago when I stepped onto an oblong patch of grass in Flushing Meadows Park – most certainly in sneakers. It’s two plus decades later and I still don’t know what will happen in the next decade or even next week. Week 17 was on the schedule up until a few days before the game. But things change. Things always change. People come and go. Sometimes over the course of years. Sometimes within a season. Sometimes within a span of a few weeks. Jewball has an uncanny ability to audible.

I remember when the Cronies started coming down. But it wasn’t always this exact group. There was a crony named Chadow and he may been the best of em. Certainly the most likeable. Certainly the most competitive. He was a keeper. I remember really hoping he’d stick. I definitely thought he liked Jewball more than Goldberg. I was wrong. Jewball is an education.

We make plans. We call Week 15 a League Game and we circle it on our calendar. Babies are born. Trips are planned. Things change. Week 16 is now a League Game. All the better. It’s the Commish’s 44th birthday. A great day to celebrate. Gronk v. Yaron! The two powerhouse teams coming into League Game 5. The buildup has been enormous. But then we get real life. Tragedy enters the picture and that same Chadow who Jewballed with us at the Revolution’s pre-dawn hours….loses his sister at 28. And Gronk is now out witha funeral to attend. And there goes the game as it was “meant” to be. 

But it was played and it was a really good one – all things considered. There is not typo in the next sentence: The Cronies picked up Waldo as a last minute QB replacement for Gronk. Tall, calm, and can throw the ball. Good qualities for a QB. Gronk has those 3 plus a lot of other advantages, but the show goes on – Cronies hoped to give Liohearts a game. And they really did.

It was still cold but not nearly as frigid those who played Game 1 had it. Even though the Cronies were without Gronk and Goldberg – two great players on both sides of the ball – their defense is always formidable simply due to the combined menace of Munch and Solo at the line. Yaron’s options are somewhat limited. Plus he was down Ivry – a leading talent in our league right now. I wish I had the patience to go through the slugfest that was this game. I know it was back and forth. I know it was Logan and Ross over and over and over again for the TDs.

I know Yaron put up 1 right away – even before Logan showed up. Logan came late to the game of his life. Imagine if he could have made it one time! But he was responding to a fire emergency so good him. Pray stepped in for the hero. Jewball adapated. But Pray got pushed around by Singer and the Cronies adapted to the tune of a 1-0 hole. 

Waldo actually looked good right away. Jordan – looking 44 on the first drive – dropped two balls and the prospects on offense seemed dim for the Cronies. Once Logan arrived and was there to gnash his teeth at his teammates the defense picked up. Yaron was doing a lot of screens with Singer blocking, which works well, but Munch and Solo are masters of the lateral pursuit.

Waldo then started making serious strides as a QB. Fitting passes into tight windows and making nice decisions. Sliding grab by Jordan. Acrobatic catch by Maor. TD to Logan! Cronies are on the board and the game is tied!
Time for some Steveo Island action. The momentum shifts even further in the Cronies direction as Steveo drapes himself over Ross and gets a pick to show for it on the sideline streak. Waldo converts the turnover into points – once again finding Logan in the endzone. Yaron would soon test that Steveo/Ross matchup again….this time throwing the ball a bit higher and farther and Ross does what he does – uses his size to scoring effect. The game is tied. 

Both defenses clamped down for the second half and yards were hard to come by. The injuries started mounting on both sides. Yaron and Solo were limping around between plays. Logan reinjured his groin. Jordan pulled his glute in pre-game warm ups. And Zada took a shot early on that slowed him down. No one made any excuse and everyone kept at it – but when the game would end – only one side would be recovering with something to be proud of. And that side seemed to be the Cronies. Waldo gutted out the 3rd quarter – making smart plays and finding open men. A huge 1st down to Steveo. A pump and go to Logan for another score. A dump off to Logan and a wolverine loping sprint for yet his 4th TD of the game. Could the Cronies hold on? They found themselves clinging to a 4-3 lead with 10 minutes left. The impossible seemed to be happening! A win without their leader and the current MVP of Jewball.

Maybe Waldo had been asked to do too much and it was only a matter of time before the house of cards came crashing down. At midfield – a ball – a catchable ball – high, but catchable – especially for someone like Maor – glances off Maor’s hands and Yaron picks it. And so Yaron begins a drive that will decide the game. They need a score to keep the game going. Everyone knows what happened next. Everyone watched the video 100 times. Slowed it down. Took countless screenshots. Wait….that was just me? And speaking of that video….PJS giving new meaning to a PJS Perspective. The perspective of a man who needs a nice restraining order served on him. Anyway – for those who don’t know – after a sack that drove Yaron back and seemed to have iced the game – Yaron was faced with a 4th and 25 and the prospect of a loss. I can hardly bear to write this….

Waldo had played nice man coverage on Ross after Yaron was picking on Steveo a bit too much – Steveo is a great cover man – but a foot advantage is a foot advantage. Waldo stuck Ross and had batted a few balls away. On this final play of the game….Yaron went to Ross. It was a jump ball in the corner of the endzone. Waldo faded with Ross and the ball was placed deep. If untouched it would have likely landed in the back of the endzone and bounced out. A perfect pass to – say Prime – if Prime were running a deep route to the corner being chased by – say MK. But the dynamics are different with tall leapers. They don’t need to run top speed to a spot to meet the ball when it finally drops into their hands. Tall leapers can stop at a point well earlier. Stop. Leap. And be tall. That’s what Ross did. And that’s why this game went into OT. Waldo was behind him. The pass was a great pass to Waldo if he was the receiver. The problem was….he acted like the receiver when Cronies needed him to be the defender. While Waldo was waiting for the ball….Ross went up to get it. His jump, concentration, and ability to seize the ball from the grip of the sky was a thing of beauty. Heartbreaking beauty. As Logan said…when that catch was made…the game was over. OT would do the Cronies no favors. They were in shambles.

In the OT it was all Lionhearts. Yaron with an incredible flag pull on Jordan in the open field going full out dive that maybe saved a TD. And final play of the game – pump and go to Zada. Prefect throw – perfect hands….TD. Lionhearts win an OT thriller. One of those games where Ross should be content with the stats and the heroic shit at the buzzer. 

I never asked Yaron why he named his team the Lionhearts. I just assumed it was because he is and always will be cheesy AF. But I can’t deny what I saw two Sundays ago (And 3 Sundays ago as well). Call it cheesy. Call it a cliché. Yaron played with the heart of a lion. The pick. The TD throw. The flag grab. Three plays that were absolutely essential. 3 plays in all facets of the game that – if any were not made when they were made – his team loses. Yaron WILLED his team to that win. Should it have been that difficult to win? That’s another story for another day. For today, he gets another very well deserved Jewball.

I guess I’ll end with a personal note so as not to disappoint Steveo. As mentioned, Week 16 was touched by both death and birth. The untimely death of a Jewballer’s sister, may her neshama have an Aliyah. An the long ago birth of myself. It makes you think. Birthdays in general make you think. Especially as you get older. Mortality – all that fun stuff. What am I doing here? Has it been worth my allotted time? And – oh shit! – how much time do I even have? And of that time….how much is y’know…gonna be quality time? Birthdays used to be balloons and cake. Now they are systems checks and existential analyses. In a very legit way…it makes them better. Certainly, more meaningful. Before 30 birthdays are Purim. 30-40 they are Rosh Hashanah. 40 and up they are Yom Kippur.

For those of you in the Yom Kippur bracket – this isn’t for you. For the next generation. My wish for you – is that when you get up there and you need to take stock of how you lived (cuz – let’s be honest – 44…you pretty much made your bed) that you have something as fulfilling and unconflicted as Jewball to reference – so you can do that scan once a year and be confident you done good.