My very first week of Jewball, I didn’t get into the game. I stood on the sideline and watched. It was a club I was not a part of. They had enough guys and I wasn’t one of them…yet. The players were all familiar with each other and – in my eyes – playing football at a level I could not imagine competing with. I couldn’t really imagine being one of them. I had zero experience playing competitive football. These guys were serious. There were cones on the field! Some of them were wearing actual football jerseys! Like in the NFL! The guy standing to my right on the sideline, though – also not getting in – probably embarrassed to be grouped in with me – was a different story. Of all the things I wish for Jewball related, none do I wish for more acutely than to have you all playing with Jason Katzenstein.
I met the kid in camp sophomore summer. Huge attitude and ego – total abrasive punk. Electric athlete. Rough exterior, but sensitive as hell. I was not a sports guy at all, but we became close friends. Still in touch. He’s completely frummed out living in Passaic. JK was the QB for the BMT Cheesecake (can’t make this up) and (E can confirm) took them to the championships, where they lost. He was the MVP of the AFLI that year. I would sometimes walk through Jerusalem with JK as teenagers and Israeli kids would yell out his name. They read about him in the papers or watched the games. He was a star.
We had a few years in KGH together before he moved to NJ and me to LI. For two off those years, we played Jewball. Like I said, at first we didn’t get in. But it was a journey we were taking together. Soon enough, he and I (with guys like Spira, Yakir, and Rabin) were the foundation for each game.
Why do I bring up JK today? Besides that he is probably the only guy from the Golden Age who, if playing today like he did then, would be top 3 Power Ranking every week. He played in a time where the games were fun, but generally sparsely attended. 5 on 5 was the usual. He very often played official QB with 4 on 4s. Whatever – that’s the past. I brink up JK now because he was a dynamic passer who could throw laser beams, or heave it a mile – ultra serious and locked in during games – could take off with elusive speed and quickness if need be – and….was a lefty. I bring up JK because – although I don’t believe in reincarnation, especially when both people are alive – with Dachs, I now can see what modern Jewball would have looked like if JK was still around. And it’s beautiful.
Week 8 had great weather and two great games. Maybe not everyone had the best experience (someone always loses), but both games were close and competitive and guys made plays.
We started with Dachs v. Ernie in Ernie’s season debut as signal caller. How did it go? Well, it could not have started better. On his first possession (coming after a Zinn pick) and first pass, he rips off a bomb to Zinn streaking down the left sideline. On. The. Money. Catch and run. TD.  Ernie up 1 right away. That one score stood up for a while because although Dachs was racking up completions, he was not putting up points. Shout out to Beast for being an early sparkplug for Dachs – catching balls out of the TE slot and motoring downfield. The offense for Ernie’s squad – and he had high caliber offensive weapons besides Zinn in Mighty and Prime as well as a really tough protection in DK, O, and PJs – but the ball was not moving well. Tom, Munch, and E are some big boys coming out you in the middle and it seemed that with all the size flashing up the gut, the middle of the field was taken away from Ernie. Combine that with a leg still healing – and despite his incredible toughness and underrated agility – Ernie could not make enough happen out of the pocket. At the end of the day…he put up 2 scores – both to Zinn. The second TD being a jump ball that only Zinn catches.
Meanwhile, Dachs is not going to be kept down forever. Between the Zinn scores, he moved the ball with every receiver. Strikes to Tom, MK, Singer – all executed with samurai precision. Tom picked up a huge 1st down by reaching out for a bullet on a cross over the middle in traffic and sticking with it. That lead to a score with Sting who caught the ball and made some people miss (who should not have). The tying TD was a gem to Beast who sat down in a nice empty space in the back of the endzone and reached up for a pass that floated just slightly high. The TD in OT was hauled in by Tom, who had himself a nice handsy day. Ernie could not tie the game in his final possession and Dachs gets the victory in a game that either team could have won. There was a push to give the Jewball to Tom from the fans, but….don’t u know that makes it less likely! Truth is….I looked at the tape. Tom made some catches and important ones. He and Beast had the same stat line and each dropped a pass they should have caught. Tom will get his Jewball in a snow game, I am sure. This one goes to Beast. He was buzzing and humming from the first play of the game to the last. Beast is on fire this season and is bringing it every single game, every single set. That’s what Jewballs are made of. Here ya go, brother.
Game 2 took place when Perla was just Perla. Just a White Goodman meme. I write this recap after he gets the W and becomes a TBI sensation. As I told Yaron, Sunday was very good for Jewball. And Tuesday was even better. We need Perla to – and I mean this in the most cultish was possible – JOIN US. This was more or less the subject of our friction mid-game. He was right that shit talking mid-game is counter productive….but…honestly…I was less worried about the game and more worried about the future. And it actually worked out. The arm band took a back seat. The colored dots became people. And Perla beat Yaron in a game that admittedly was stacked somewhat against Yaron….but he could have won it. Perla’s team was very motivated to get together for a W. Was trying to remember the order of what happened, but Steveo’s video posts made me even more confused. Is it so hard to record every single play from behind the QB and post in order with captions?? So while I don’t know exactly what happened in our game, I do know what happened in the 10th grade DRS game.
I saw Goldberg in the power rankings so I had to assume he had a big game. Confirmed. 2TDs and a pick. He even had the game winning TD, which was – like Game 1 – in OT. What happened before that? It was tied 3-3. I know Storm had a hot game and gave Yaron life a bunch of times when he was dead to rights. Caught one with Rook in his grill at the 10 to lead to a score. And punched in the game tying TD with time expiring by propelling past Goldberg. That sin was Goldberg’s only one of the game and his stat line is Jewball worthy. Jewball to you, Goldberg. But the story of the game and the week is Perla. He told us from the beginning it would take him a while to catch up and get it. It took longer than we expected (maybe longer that we are used to as we’ve been spoiled with rookies who seem to get it absurdly fast). But it seemed that at some point during Week 9 of the 2022 season, Mike White Goodman arrived. Welcome. JOIN US.

First, there was League Week. Then, there was Weague Leek. And now there is League Weak. League Weak happens when all the anticipation and excitement of a Jewball League Sunday gets forcibly deflated – violently stamped from our spirits – by circumstances – both in and out of our control. The easy joke to make is that everyone hates Yaron. Bron, one of our true leaders, talents, competitors, and a QB on fire (not the dumpster kind) had nearly his entire team abandon ship by Sunday morning. You couldn’t make it up. O came down with a case of Sharmel’s Revenge. Zada made his wife make him a surprise birthday party (his birthday is in July). Beast got that thing where you don’t like Yaron and can’t get out of bed. Sting woke up in the middle of the night, realized he was on Yaron’s team, and started vomiting blood. DK woke up in the morning, realized he was on Yaron’s team, and chained himself to the radiator. Storm at least remembered he was on Yaron’s team the night before and wisely got wasted and threw his phone onto the mat at Wrestlemania so that Yaron could no longer contact him. And there went the cowardly Lion Hearts. No one showed to face the Top Guns. Except Yaron and Irv. So game was postponed. This was the part of the deflation that was out of our control. The part that was in our control was our reaction. Guys, you can call this moment in Jewball whatever you want – you can blame whoever you want – but one thing it has never been was bad energy. And this past week was bad energy (and editor’s note – I’m told continued on TBI). I’m not above it. I admit. I got sucked into the negative cycle as well. That’s on me to watch myself. And it’s on you to watch yourself. This is a brotherhood of volunteers. No one is paid to be here. No one has to be here. If you are here, love being here. Or like being here. Or quietly dislike being here. But there is no such thing as loud dislike of being here. That’s not a Jewball thing. We fall victim to it sometimes. We forget sometimes. Let’s try to remember. Jewball is the island in the chaos. It has to be.
Game 1 was a League Game! It was Roll Tide (0-1) v. BOP (1-0). Pray was still out and Solo was on a holiday in Spain (yeah, that’s right – I’m a Crows fan), so the surprise team from League Week 1 would need to have a few more tricks up their sleeve to beat the extremely dangerous squad of rooks. But before we get to the on-field action, let’s talk about the weather. This was a brutally cold Sunday morning. Not super windy as was threatened in the forecast, but nonetheless freeze your fingertips off cold. Decent amount of sun, which helps. Old dudes were out and doing there thing, which helps. But the extremities were in danger last week if you didn’t either keep moving or keep em in pockets. With that, I just remind everyone that we had about 30 players come out on Sunday for the love of football to sustain that type of pain and discomfort. I always say…Jewball is more than football. It’s that mental edge over everyone around you. All those who stayed home Sunday morning (non Jewballers and their kind). You own them.
Momentum is a thing and BOP had it coming off a big win against the previously top seeded Top Guns. With Gronk QB for Pray, the charmed signal caller looked to continue his run of winning. And he got his chance to put his mark on the game very early on. Dachs throws a pick to Tom in RT’s first possession and Tom runs it to RT’s 8. First and goal. Gronk looked cold, miserable, and like he didn’t want to be there. But he looks like that every game he plays so can’t read anything into that. What we could read into was his failure to find the open man. His inability to look comfortable. Without Solo protecting him, Oppen Legs gushed right through the line and you saw something you hardly see from Gronk – panic, desperation – sloppiness. He missed Goldberg on 1st and goal and didn’t come close on the next 3 attempts. Dachs took over and although it wasn’t mistake free the rest of the way (3 picks on the day), he breezed through his progressions. His cavalcade of horses were running wild on the BOP defense. Again, without Solo bringing the pressure – Dachs had the time – and we know he has the skill. He sees the field well. He knows his players well. He spreads the ball well. Unless a team is at full strength, RT will be tough to beat. And BOP was not at full strength. That said, they weren’t really out of the game until late. Prime was his usual League self. Locked in and ready to kill. Fatherhood has not softened this man. Could be if he got the ball on that first BOP possession we have a different outcome. He moved the ball for BOP on screens and outs that turned into big yards. But it wasn’t enough. Dachs and Dax is a wicked tandem. Fun to watch. Frustrating to play against. We all know what Steveo can do in coverage, but a perfect jump ball to Zinn in the back of the endzone will win 9 out of 10 times. Two TDs to Zinn and 1 to Dax was all RT needed. There was some controversy because…why not…Did Legs call sack? Did Ernie maintain possession? Did Gronk get sacked before throwing the ball? Probably. I don’t think so. Probably. But, these are quibbles. Was a decent game. The better team won. Next time they meet up it’ll be with Pray and Solo and fully loaded action. Let’s go. Shout out to Rook for replacing Stats late and making a game of it. Hard nosed player, that Rook. I can’t take anything away from BOP. This was a tough assignment. They needed to play perfectly and it wasn’t going to happen with the weather and the pressure Gronk was facing. They played hard wire to wire. They were just outgunned. Both RT and BOP go to 1-1. Hard to give a Jewball to someone who isn’t playing defense and threw 3 picks….but we all know that Dachs is the straw that stirs the RT drink. Jewball to Oppen/Legs for the pressure on Gronk. You guys made an unflappable QB look extremely flappable. Gronk is probably going to learn a few new tricks because of this game, because his old tricks were not at his disposal because of what you beasts brought. Congrats.
Game 2 was Yaron v. Feit as scheduled, but thankfully it didn’t count. The TGs were basically broken up into 2 teams along with RT refugees Whiskey and Waldo, and a game was played in the slightly warmer weather. Feit had game wreckers Munch and Solo on his side and it didn’t take long to figure out that the best thing to do was to let them wreck the game. Misdirection one way and Feit running with Singer and Munch out front yielded an early score for Colors. And although Yaron was extremely sharp on Sunday, the Colors defense was quite effective. The back and forth battle of Jordan v. Waldo on jump balls in the endzone continued – with Jordan stopping another one (though not atoning for last week’s game winner by Waldo). With Colors up 1-0, and Yaron’s third possession stalled at Colors’ 20 on 4th and goal, the defense forced him to throw up a bad pass to Mighty who was in the back of the endzone. The ball came down well short of the endzone and Tom and Singer were there. Behind them Jordan. Behind him Mighty. Tom tips the ball over Singer. And it lands between Jordan and Singer….into the diving arms of a rat. 1-1.
Feit scored two TDs for his team on Sunday, so he was far better than Zach Wilson, but nothing in the passing game was working. However, as mentioned, with Munch and Singer….you don’t need it to. Same play. Feit runs. The big boys lead block. Colors take back the lead. The rest of the game was tight and it was a bend don’t break affair for Colors. With the offense stagnant, it was a matter of whether they could make the 2 scores hold up. To my joy and dismay, Yaron lined up Mighty on Jordan for the entire second half. Joy because that’s the guy I want to go up against until the day I retire. Dismay because he make everyone look bad. One turn around after another after another after another. Chipping away. A Mighty catch, some extra yards with muscle and shiftiness. Salem did an incredible job coming over to help. Singer did an incredible job coming over the top to help. But Mighty is on that MVP trip this season. He’s never won it. He’s talking about retiring. Leave to the Rat to make it his mission and priority to go out on top. Combine Mighty’s success at picking up yards with a few near picks by Singer not being converted into turnovers…it started to feel like only a matter of time. Eventually, Yaron found himself at the goal line and Mighty busted from the slot to the middle – behind the defense….wide open score. Tie game. And with time expiring and Feit still unable to get anything going on offense, Yaron found Mighty deep and although Irv pushed him out at the 1….it was just delaying the inevitable. Yaron throws a bullet to Mighty on a bullet slant and the game is won in comeback fashion by Dark. Add a Jewball to the stat sheet for my TG teammate, Mighty. If Mighty does retire….and he won’t….this will be remembered as the one special season where Zinn and Mighty overlapped like shooting stars crossing in space.
I was going to save my feel good message for the pre-Thanksgiving Teams post, but….I’m hearing that TBI was a rough watch – and although I will check it out myself and judge – I might as well go there now:
5 years ago today, I was preparing Jewball for it’s Turkey Bowl. It was the darkest days of the Dark Age. And it was about to get abysmal. There was no Jewball. We had withered to nearly nothing and had resigned ourselves to the most wretched of fates – we had joined Croton. And it wasn’t even the best of us. It was the good of us. We were called Jewball. I know it was me, MK (when he was around), Press (who replaced Rabin as QB), Rabin of course, Kut of course, Horwitz, probably Steveo or Daveo….was basically that Dark Ages crew who were still hanging on…God bless them. Seriously. I remember we played Perla’s team and though I don’t remember him exactly – I do remember chasing someone who was like Mighty in his prime. I remember Zez played for us one week and got us our only W (though I was out at the time – soon to be explained). I remember Tom caught the game winning TD…..so he must have been with us : )
Anyway, the point was…..we could not get Sunday Jewball games….so we gave up. The prior few seasons were leading us in this direction. It did not come as surprise. So it was pathetic. Then it got worse.
I was 2 months away from 40 and was a perfectly good time to say….hey, it was a nice run. Football was a big part of my life for a bunch of years….now….its’ over. On Thanksgiving, Goldberg caught the ball and I grabbed his shirt to pull his flag or maybe just to stop him (what Dachs would call Holding) and he kept going. My index finger tendon ripped and I could no longer make a fist. Didn’t figure this out until after the game. Had surgery…rehab…the whole thing. Not only was Jewball dead, but I was on the sidelines of the godforsaken Croton games. Season ends. Jewball ends. THE END.
But no…
That’s not how it went.
A Revolution happened.
An Enlightenment happened.
I met so many of you. You met so many of you. Our lives got better. Our football got sooo much better. We made real changes in the world! We healed and grew and built and flourished. My message is only – I am extremely thankful for all of you. Appreciative, Grateful. Don’t take any of it for granted. All that. I feel it. We feel it. We live in a world that loves to talk about privilege. That’s just a word wielded like a weapon. It’s not a good word to use. This is Jewball. There is no privilege. There is blessing. We are blessed. For real. It’s so clear. Recognize and appreciate it. I’ll echo what I said up top. If you can’t appreciate it and show hakaras hatov for it – this isn’t the place for you. We ask for nothing here but positive energy. If you are feeling negative about Jewball, take a step back and ask yourself if this is where you want to be. But under no circumstances will we tolerate negative energy here. Life is too short.

Not that our Week 6 games were particularly forgettable, but the chronicles of Jewball and our collective memory will remember Week 6 as another game (and the first in the “modern” era) where we switched fields mid-game. It happened about fifteen minutes into Games 1 and the transition took about fifteen minutes. As both games were just getting started at LHS – which had received reports that the soccer guys were hibernating and would not be playing in Venmo Arena for the remainder of the season – a different kind of soccer guy approached. Turns out, at 9am there would be a permitted game – Inwood v. Glen Cove. I guess wasn’t meant to be. But two cool things happened as a result. The first was that Zada and PJs were proven right and your Commish was proven wrong. We should have started at HHS. No good reason to trust in J. The second bonus prize was the incredible synergy and electricity as we packed up quickly, rolled out, rolled over, rolled in, and set up quickly to get the games going again. It was an energy in Jewball that felt so authentic to our roots. Getting kicked off a field and remaining resilient – wandering and then surviving – is an important element of who we are and where we come from. It’s that fortitude which both keeps us hungry and humble. Obviously, I would prefer our games not to be moved mid-game generally, but once every few years – it’s not the worst thing.
For Game 1A – Yaron v. Dachs – we will gain a PJ’s perspective shortly. That game already had points on the board at LHS. Perla v. Zinn – Game 1B – was scoreless at 8:30 am when it restarted at HHS.
While over on field 1A it was a battle of the premiere QBs, 1B was a matchup of two QBs thrust into their roles due to unpredictable plot twists. With Gronk and Pray on the sidelines this season (so far), Jewball was desperate for QB help. The Jewball Gods send us Perla – and his evolution is being watched carefully. We are also sent Zinn….who – seems to be able to do it all. Now, he is not a QB. He doesn’t want to be one. He is a WR. But, he has an arm like no other and he probably can become a great QB if he made that his major.
The theme of the day for Zinn’s team was drops. Some were just stupid – like mine, but most were a result of his abilities. What I mean is…..he throws harder than any other Jewball QB ever has. His fastball is like we have never seen. Katzenstein and Yaron could sling and if they whipped it to you on a slant – they had no mercy. It requires above average hands to catch what they were throwing. Zinn’s ball gets on you quick and powerful, and if you aren’t ready for it – I mean both mentally and physically – it’s gonna sail through or bounce off you. He’s the kind of QB that will force you to raise your game.
Perla, is different. He throws a pretty light ball. Can’t bomb it, but has some range. While Ziinn shoots bullets, Perla often lofts water balloons. Zinn lined up with Mighty, Oppen, Jordan, Dobs, Steveo, Oppen, and Tom. Perla huddled with Solo, Rook, Waldo, Legs, Stella/Daveo, and Zada. 
Perla’s reputation as someone who “can’t go deep” worked to his advantage a number of times throughout the game, but the first of which was on an early scoring drive. On 3rd and goal, with no one lined up on Jordan’s side, Jordan took the chance and blitzed along with the D line. Zinn was playing a short safety once again assuming that Perla could not go over the top. So what does he do? He evades Jordan (who should have had the sack) and he lofts one up to the vacated side….over Zinn…and into the waiting arm’s of Waldo. 1-0 Perla and Waldo begins to have himself a day.
Jordan’s sh**y day continued with the drop of a high fly ball that glanced off his fingertips behind the defense. Would have been good yards. A play later, a Zinn pass to Mighty over the middle gets tipped and goes up almost as high as the previous pass to Jordan and Waldo snags it from the sky. Although it did not result in a score, it was another stat for Waldo.  From there, the game went back and forth. Although one could argue that a game full of drops, errant throws, and long huddles surely makes for a “bad” game, this in fact was a good one. Guys were locked in and playing to win. It never got out of hand and both teams felt that their fortunes could turn at any moment. It went back and forth – although at a glacial pace. Zinn, Mighty, and Oppen lead their squad. Zinn picking up every first down needed. Oppen pressuring Perla (3 sacks) and Mighty capping off the drives with scores. Angry Mighty made an appearance and immediately put up points. Angry Mighty is a great player. It was a good thing I got him angry by siding with Perla on a 1st down call. It was the classic situation where Mighty pulled the flag on one side of the 1st down and Perla was standing on the other. I know our rule is for 1st downs it is where the flag puller is standing. However, in this situation it was clear – at least to me – that the pull happened after the crossing. Mighty for sure did not move and was before the line, but Perla had already crossed. Regardless, Mighty went off afterward. After Tabak left and Daveo replaced him, Daveo made an impact. In a play, very similar to Waldo’s score…..the defense presumed Perla would throw shallow, and cheated up….Daveo went over the top, Perla got enough on it to throw beyond the safety….and Perla was up again. Using the same formula (Zinn runs and a Mighty catch and run) the game was tied. Steveo had two opportunities to score at the end to win the game for Zinn but Zinn’s missiles proved too potent to harness.
The game went into OT with a one and one chance for each team from the 20. Perla had first shot and from the 20 threw a rainbow to Waldo in the corner of the endzone. Zinn got over, leaped, with full extension….and the ball still arched over him. Jordan was the last line of defense. He too jumped and caused interference, but it was Waldo with the concentration and the up and the hands….he comes down with the ball and spikes it in celebration. With the chance to lose or tie, Zinn again finds Steveo in the endzone, but the pass is at the risk of Steveo’s life running directly into a goal post and he bails on the play. Zinn gets another chance this time locating Mighty in the back of the endzone…and the ball looks true and Mighty is no dropper.  But Waldo want’s to be in on everything on this Week 6…so he gets in on the action and has his second pick of the day. And with that, Zinn’s losing streak continues and Perla gets a reprieve as he wins the game. Jewball to Waldo for being that guy on Sunday and – as I’m writing this post his TBI appearance – just a lot of love and appreciation your way, bro. Thanks for being here.
Now…I give you….PJs…
A PJ’s perspective…..

What a Sunday for football, a little rain and 2 games at the same time. Even at our old stomping grounds in Lawrence. And a game featuring Jewballs 2 best QB’s in Dachs and Yaron. Yaron is one of the reasons Jewball has aged like wine. He has helped the game evolve and brought in new talent like Dachs. Dachs doesn’t need a recap praising him, but his accuracy is something to appreciate. Dachs brings a Iittle I’m too cool for Jewball attitude, similar to Mighty but is slowly learning to appreciate what we do here. One other praise is that Dachs consistency spreads the ball around. Something that all QB’s have not learned yet. It’s what makes Gronk great and what has made Dachs look like an MVP candidate. Dachs lines up with Munch, Dax, Prime, MK, Beast, And Bert. Yaron lines up DK, Goldberg, Sting, Storm, Kut, and PJ’s.

The game begins with Prime arriving late because he forgot to change a diaper. Goldberg is like, I’m 2 weeks into this and I still have no clue. Mazal Tov to the new fathers who showed up to play football. The game begins with 6’s to accommodate Prime and PJ’s benched himself. Yarons first pass is nearly picked off by Beast. Actually was thrown right to him. Not a Leauge week. Yaron says ok, I will not throw to Beast again and of course this time he throws a perfect pass to Dachs. Who makes the INT and gets first down at 20. Hits Munch on TE screen who takes it in for the first score. Yaron blames it on the football and changes to his ball. And then a “Classic Jewball” moment, Jordan announced everyone off the field. Something about a permit….. legit soccer? Anyways Yaron is trailing Dachs 1-0 and now we will take a 15 minute break until we get to Hewlett.

New field, new football, less wind. Yaron can turn this around?? Unfortunately his next drive is a 3 and out. Munch gets a 3rd down sack and Yaron punts it. Dachs with a 3 and out and Colors is feeling maybe a the momentum is shifting. But Yaron on third down try’s to hit PJ’s but Prime knocks it down. Yaron claimed it was a throw away. PJ’s realizes that’s his only chance of getting a pass 

. Dachs takes over and methodically drives down the field with passes to Prime, Beast and Dax. On first and goal Dachs throws an incredible ball over the defense to back of end zone to a wide open Dax. Perfect throw and play. Dachs is leading 2-0. Yaron with another three and out. On this Dachs drive he will try to gun one in to his brother but it will get deflected and picked off by Goldberg. Yaron is focused and he begins getting his team involved with throws to Storm And Sting for some yards. A dump off to DK for some yards. And Yaron is driving down the field. On second and goal Yaron looks for Goldberg who is wide open and makes a seemingly great pass that Goldberg can’t corral and Dachs is there for pick and a good return. This will setup another nice drive that leads to Munchs 2nd TD. 3-0 Dachs. Yaron doesn’t seem to have any answers for the line of Beast and Munch. Another punt. Dachs drives down the field and will get himself a rushing TD. Yaron finally makes a magical throw to Storm who bobbles and holds on to a catch and run for 80 yards to get colors their first TD. It’s 4-1 Dachs. But Dachs isn’t done. He will hit MK for TD and take a 5-1 lead. Goldberg will get a late TD. But Dachs was too much on the field. His team wins 5-2. On offense and Defense Dachs was the difference maker. While Munch had himself a great game. Dachs earns himself his first Jewball, 4 TD’s thrown and a rushing TD along with 2 picks. Welcome to Jewball Dachs!!
Game 2 was a rough one for Perla and a magical one for Yaron. Perla, coming off the big W, was hobbled. The man is making his comeback to football, and he was physically struggling in the Both. Same could be said for a few guys on his squad. Rook was visibly fighting through some stuff. Perla’s team featured Sting, Storm, and Jordan – already frustrated after losing Game 1. Rook had won with Yaron and Solo had won with Perla. And Logan was fresh. Yaron regrouped after his ugly loss – playing with Zada, Zinn, Klink, Daveo, Dobbs, and Beast. It was David v. Goliath from the beginning. Yaron was supremely on and Perla’s defense was supremely off. Jordan and Logan wrap up Zada but fail to pull his flag and he scores. Storm is beaten on a fly. Rook at safety was ineffective with the injuries. Add to this that brand of Yaron that sees the field like he’s bionic and it made for a frustrating day for Perla’s Game 2 team. I give credit to my teammates for battling until the end of a 6-1 loss, but it was just a severe beat down all around. Yaron gets the Jewball for the mastery, scoring with 5 different receivers and bouncing back very nicely. Daveo had 2 TDs making it 3 on the day which is worth noting. Zinn gets his first win. And now onto League Week 1.5.
Thanksgiving coming up, boys. Yeah, we had some drama today on chat – whatever. No one takes it too seriously. And if you do….you’re in the wrong cult. Just appreciate that we care about the league, and the guys, and the football being high quality. Everything else is TBI fodder. It’s a blessing to play this Sunday together. If you are healthy enough to play – it’s rare and a blessing! Don’t let Jewball ever be a source of distress in your life. When you get to play, awesome! When you don’t get to play, that sucks, but there will be another game. Stay positive. Work on your game. The pieces will fall into place. See you on the field.

A PJ’s Perspective….

The new era of Jewball is upon us. We are a quarter of the way through this season. And besides for so many new names taking major spots on the draft board, many of these new names are also making impact on the field each week. While week 5 will be billed the “battle of line”, it also featured a matchup between the “present/past” and the “future”, with two very special players in Mighty and Zinn. Yes there were other players on the field. But these guys are highlight reel players. After watching Zinn haul in a catch Tuesday night, I realized the hype is real. On the other side you have Mighty who has been mighty special for nearly 13 years. With Pray on the shelf, Yaron in Mexico without a shirt but kept his phone, and Dachs needing a week off. We were left to find QB’s to play. This was an issue that plagued the Dark Ages of Jewball. We all know that good QB play makes for a great football. However, bad QB play makes for an awful game for everyone. Game 1 QB’s were decent enough but not great. You had the captain of the Top Guns in Feit vs Rabin, the godfather of Jewball and also an embattled QB of Jewball for many years. Yes, Rabin isn’t a team captain or weekly starter anymore, but you can’t forget that this guy throughout dark ages took the huddle week in an week out. Did his best to find receivers and spread the ball. Rabin knows his limits but cares so much about winning. Lining up with Rabin is an honor regardless of the results. Feits Team featured Solo, Mighty, Oppen, Beast, Tom, Maor, and Bert. Rabin’s roster had Zinn, DK, Munch. Kut, O, MK, and PJ’s( season debut).
Feit starts with the ball and immediately goes to Tom with Pj’s guarding him, slings a great pass and the YAC from Tom moves it down almost 50 yards to get great field position. 1st down on the 25, Feit finds Solo and Maor for some good yards. But Feit with a few over throws and ultimately stalls out. Rabin comes into the huddle with arm pocket plays and is ready to lead. Rabin sends DK deep down the sideline and throws one of his best passes of the day to be dropped. Rabin doesn’t do much after and Feit gets the ball back. And is able to move chains with throws to beast and Mighty. Feit in the red zone looks to target Tom with the returning PJ’s and it worked. Tom makes a short catch and PJ’s fails to push Tom out of bounds or grab the flag, Tom gets 3 balls in. 1-0 Feit. Rabin wants to win badly and get back into this game. Draws up some plays and starts hitting a few completions but an errant throw picked off by Mighty gets Feit the ball back in the red zone. On 3rd down Feit looks to take advantage of Tom’s size and PJ’s not being in great game shape. Throws it to Tom and Pj’s prevents the TD. On 4th down Feit looks to Mighty his league teammate and ultimately his best receiver on the field, even with Zinn playing man on him. Feit makes a great 5 yard throw to mighty who makes a great catch with Zinn all over him. 2-0 Feit. Rabin can’t take the losing. He knows he’s got talent around him so he allows Zinn to use some of his Magic to make something happen. Zinn gets the handoff and launched it deep to Mk only for the ball to be under thrown and picked off by Feit. Feit isn’t able to score and the Rabin gets the ball back. Down 2-0 and 40 minutes to play. Rabin throws a really bad ball up to Munch with mighty ready  to pick it but munch makes an incredible catch and pulls it away and some how gets passed the defense for an 80 yard TD. Rabin is back In the game. Feit gets the ball back and wants to get mighty more touches but this time Zinn says no. Zinn gets a pick and Rabin is ready to tie this game. I should mention Beast started to blitz from the corner and got 3 sacks in the game which actually accounted for all of the sacks in the game. One of those sacks led to Rabin going for it on 4th and 15 and hitting Zinn for a miraculous 1st down. Rabin decides to target  MK, and he has him deep but MK drops what was probably Rabins best pass of the game. Tough game for the Katz bros. Rabin still manages to lead his team down the field and on 4th and goal from 10 Rabin looks to Munch in the endzone and isn’t able to connect. Feit up 2-1 at 9:15 knew that another score ices the game away. Feit moved the ball down the field with ease. It’s now 3rd and goal in the red zone and Feit figures I’ve got Tom with Pj’s guarding him, why not try that again? Feit avoids the pressure and looks for Tom and PJ’s makes what was a game saving near int play that knocks the ball away. It’s 4th down, it’s Mighy time… Zinn is guarding him like they have all game. Zinn shouldn’t be offended when Mighty chirps all game I’m open. Just understand Mighty wants and needs that ball. Feit throws a slant to Mighty, Zinn is all all over him but Mighty does what he does. Scores the TD and iced the game. The battle of the line didn’t live up to hype as Solo was orchestrating a confusing Defense on Rabin and barely rushed in. The story of this game was Mighty came up with clutch TD’s all game and is the Jewball winner of game 1. Zinn is the future but mighty is still the present. Feit was solid and Rabin wasn’t bad but on this day it wasn’t good enough to get the win.

Game 2 featured Tom “White Goodman” Perla vs Waldo. Perla is still new to our game and while the scouting report in his first start were long huddles, he definitely seemed to have faster huddles this week. Perla lines up with Sting, Storm, Zada, Dobs, Salem, and Whiskey. Waldo has the debuting iceman, Prime, Rook, Ernie, Vegh, Klink, and Dave-O on defense. Let’s start with Yoni, yes he was late and he seemed frustrated with the game. Like J says we give him another shot. He is a baller. So we will not rip him! Perla’s first drive looked good. He hit Storm time after time for big yards. Dave-O did get a sack on him on the opening drive. Zada and Sting both had great jump ball TD’s from Perla. Rook had a near pick 6 gets his team to the 1 yard line. Bec ensuing play Salem picks off Waldo.  All in all he hits Sting for 2 TD’s who also had a pick 6. Storm had 2 picks himself and Perla destroys Waldo 6-1. Rook made a QB appearance at one point but not enough to help. Waldo was bad but guys also dropped his passes. Tough game overall. Jewball goes to Sting. Next week we roll it back with our regular QB’s and we see what is in store for week #6… stay tuned for sign up, TBI, and power rankings!

I’m still high from Tuesday night. And not just because the sidelines became more and more clouded in weed with each passing minute. I’m high off the memories. The weather. The faces. The speed, agility, and skill of our players. The speed, agility, and skill of not-our-players. The intoxicating energy flowing between sideline and field. Between our guys – there to support each other…share in the high drama. The only thing better than a great play is a great play witnessed. A great play appreciated. To watch Irv turn in a dominant performance – so locked in. Legs making a hell of a catch in traffic. Jewballers forcing Yaron into a near pick. Solo, Oppen, and DK battling so fiercely – going to some deep, dark places to find the next gear and then the next. I’ve said it many times and I hope to say it for a few more years – it is such an honor to be part of this group. Special stuff.
Week 4 is a nice place to be. The season is still fresh and young, so there is no separation anxiety to speak of. We have our League Week done and all that controversy is behind us. The next League Week is 3 weeks away so no reason to think about it. It’s just a regular Week 4 of Jewball – granted that in the age of  the enlightenment….nothing is regular anymore…and whatever crusty, cranky vets are allegedly complaining to PJs…..that’s okay! It’s okay…..It’s okay.
Although it looks like we will be back to 3 games for Week 5 (season quarter point – 

……uh-oh….separation anxiety starts to whisper), Week 4 was our first Jewball week of only 2 games. People have obligations and some injuries have been mounting.
I’m going to try and go throwback with this recap and talk about the game. Enough of my pretentious bulls*** recaps! Let’s talk football.

On the last Sunday of the month of October, the car windshields, grass, and turf were coated in white frost at 7:45am. Fifteen minutes before Jewball would play Week 4. It was a reminder that seasons change and that leaving the house a little earlier to stretch and warm-up (both the body and the car) had become necessary. Of course, it being October in the age of climate change, temperatures would rise. The sun would emerge. Layers of clothing would be removed.
Upon arrival at the field, there was still a chill in the air and only the opposite field sideline was lit with a panel of sunshine. The field was covered in a ghostly pale layer of ice. A few minutes past 8am and it was clear we had a problem. There were two QBs on the field, but one of them was Pray, limping around, velcroed into his polyester prison. Yaron was there. Looking sharp and spry. Ready to continue his march of dimes. The QB on fire had messaged me Saturday night that we were gonna run wild on Sunday. (And so we did). But would the opposing QB – Zinn – run even wilder? Hard to say. He wasn’t there.
Before he can run, he needs to walk. And before he can walk, crawl. And before that, scoot. Although I’m not going to destroy him just yet (*because he did make the devil’s reception two days later), any Jewball Sunday that begins with Yaron calling your mom to see where you are and she says…. “I don’t know, he went to minyan”…..that’s a bad Sunday.
Lucky for us, Zinn makes up for in gamerness what he lacked in punctuality on Sunday. He arrived to boos at 817am and jumped right in. Yaron had started as official QB but it was a scoreless game when Zinn invaded.
Yaron in Colors with Jack, O, Held, Tom, Jordan, and Vegh, Zinn in dark with Daveo, E, Storm, Zada, Bert, and Goldberg – let’s go.
On Zinn’s first possession, he made the Colors defense look stupid. I believe Colors changed their defensive scheme three times during the game in an attempt to neutralize what Zinn can do. What can he do as a QB? Run as fast or faster than anyone. Cut as sharp or sharper than anyone. Throw as far or farther than anyone. And cross-body. If he has a weakness as a passer….it’s he can sometimes be in accurate. That’s where you need to get him. Otherwise, it’s just a matter of matching his offensive prowess. Week 4 was cool because Yaron and his squad were actually up to the task.
If I ever had it (and I don’t think I ever did), my ability to remember the exact game sequence is gone. Zinn did score first and right away. Again, he can run and pick up big yards at will – especially if not contained. Playmaka just could not beat Zinn to the sideline and time and again Zinn escaped the pocket and picked up critical yards for first downs. But he doesn’t rely entirely on his legs. He isn’t a run first QB with an arm like perhaps a Zez, Hood, or year one Pray. He looks for the pass. And with professional receivers like Storm, Zada, Goldberg, and Daveo…they were happy to oblige. I don’t recall drops. Like I said, Zinn can miss once in a while….and that’s your only hope. While I can’t say I recall who did what and when, I recall very clearly that it was a classic score for score game. Every time Zinn put a point, Yaron matched him.
Zada was responsible for the first two points of the game. He caught a TD and then tipped a TD to Jordan. 1-1.
Zinn ran one in, evading the entire Colors defense and going sideline to sideline. Tom cashed a stat before he exited and Kut replaced him. Just want to give a shout out to O before I forget him. He had a sack and he tipped at least one ball away. #stripbalzac
Although Vegh did not stat up in Game 1, he did make a ton of receptions that lead to scores. Most of the scoring for both teams was done in the red zone after big plays. Like the insane cross body bomb to Storm that I stupidly dared Zinn to throw. Storm catches it falling to the ground, giving Dark new life. Like the beauty Yaron threw to Jordan over Storm where Storm got the flag at the 1. Only long TD of the day was Yaron to Jordan in the back corner of the endzone on a perfectly choreographed gem. 
With 7 minutes left, the score was tied 5-5. Dark with the ball and with last possession rights. The way it has been going, this would be the final drive, and Zinn would find a way to score, and win the game. His first as a Jewballer. Enter chaos.
Zinn throws a 20 yard pass that is plucked from the sky by Jack! Colors had been holding on for dear life all day and now has its first opportunity to take the lead with 5 minutes on the clock. Ball is at Dark’s 25. I’ll spare Yaron the….NO I WON’T!
Everyone knows this is the spot where Yaron plays hero ball and risks everything. But not this time! We make it clear. Work the clock. Keep it simple.  Short yards. Move the ball. Score the easy way. The entire team is on the same page.
The ball is snapped. Yaron checks his receivers running slants and outs – and keeps the ball instead. Vegh is open deep. He can’t resist. Bron lofts one to Vegh that is destined for Vegh’s gloves and a score and the lead and vict- Scoot can swoop. Prime’s youngest leaps, twists, locates, invades, and steals from the sky the well-intentioned pass. It is his ball. His field. His time. Zinn with one last drive to win it.
I’m actually not sure how it happened exactly, but the defense did manage to lock down a bit. Yes, there was a
controversy on the Daveo pass, which we will get to, but in the end it was a 4th and long for the win. Zinn did his job. He put a perfect laser on Goldberg in a spot where it was Goldberg or no one and….you saw the film….like a blast of pure energy – the ball blasted through Goldberg’s hands at the back of the endzone. Would have been a sick ending for Dark. A sickening ending for Colors. Alas, a tie. No winner. No Jewball.
Let’s briefly talk about calls: Respect the call. That’s always Rule number 1. Sorry….Rule 1 is assume no one is lying….so, in that case, Rule 1 is don’t lie. That said, we respect ALL personal calls no matter how shitty because of Rule 1 (Don’t lie). However, a dropped ball is not a personal call but it is a call and it needs to be respected. Why? So we don’t have arguments. On a non-personal call, we tend to do a brief investigation because while we trust everyone…sometimes someone isn’t lying, but they are just objectively wrong/mistaken. First overrule goes to a teammate of the call-maker who contradicts the call. Meaning, if someone on the team that loses out based on the call being negated stands by the negation, we have to assume they are 100% sure. For example, Jordan catches a ball that is questionably out of bounds. If Jordan has any teammate that says it is out of bounds, it is out of bounds.  And therefore Jordan saying I was in bounds! is moot. If we do not have the fellow-teammate contradicting the call, we would also look to sideline for neutral people watching. They can help. Again, because this is not a personal call. It’s a determination – like catch or no catch or our of bounds or first down. If sideline is unanimous, we go with that. If not, we have to respect the call. It sucks, we just have no other choice. In this case with Daveo where it was a controversy whether he caught it or not, and everyone was completely split on it, including the sideline, we had to go with respecting the call made, which was ball hit the ground.
Game 2 admittedly was a letdown. Battle of the Rookie QBs wound up being very one sided. Perla is learning the guys still….but…..so is Dachs. And Perla was given mad weapons. I see flashes of talent. He can throw a nice ball…but…..something has still not caught up just yet. Not using the weapons he has at his disposal to their full potential. Irv wasn’t used. Zinn made some phenomenal grabs 3 feet over his head. Perla will find that Jewball gear soon. We are hopeful yet.
I believe Dachs jumped out to a 3-0 lead and it really was never close. The only storyline was whether Perla could come back in the end and make the score respectable. Or whether the huddles would get any shorter. Partial success on both accounts. From the stats, looks like Prime had himself a game. 2 TDs and a P6. Jewball to the 2019 MVP.
I’m heading to Memphis tonight. Will post teams tomorrow.

WEEK 4
Teams
HHS

8am

Colors

Yaron – QB
Tom (replaced by Kut at 9)
O
Held
Vegh
Jordan
Jack

Dark

Zinn – QB
Zada
E
Daveo
Storm
Bert
Goldberg

9:45

Colors

Perla – QB
Irv
Salem
Beast
Vegh
Zinn
Oppen

Dark

Dachs – QB
Whiskey
Mighty
Prime
Logan
Waldo
Kut

With a League Week days away and Week 2 eons behind us, the Recap is a formality – but in Jewball we make sure to respect the formalities when possible. Not only it is a long time ago, but the one game I played in (of the three played) was apparently finished after I left – and my team got the W (I had left in a tie). So Week 2 feels like a stranger; a foreign entity. That said, here we go:
The big storyline was the Return of Gronk. While being sensitive to a sensitive situation, none of us knew what that would look like – or feel like. And I think our Jewballness prevailed in that it both felt right and the same. On the field, we can break things down into their rawest elements. On the field, we are just playing the game to the best of our ability. Trying to make a play. Trying not to get too badly hurt. Trying to get the W. Nothing more. And no one gets the W with more proficiency than Gronk. And writing this Recap late allows me to know that Gronk will be debuting for BOP this coming Sunday at QB, which allows me to talk about Pray. Pray got hurt – machlokes whether playing football or building a sukkah. Pray had surgery and needs rest and rehab. These are painful facts that we can’t change. It sucks for us. It’s devastating for him. Jewball without Pray is like Guns N Roses without Axl. Call it whatever you want – it’s not the same thing. So we need him back. And he will be back. No one is gonna fight to get back on the field more fiercely than Pray. Heal up, brother.
The consolation is that the Jewball Gods looked out for us, and on the day Pray went down, Perla got in touch with Yaron. Like a prayer answered. Hey, I moved to the 5 Towns……looking to get back into football. And so he did. He has played 3 times already, I believe. Definitely 2. And he’s looked good. Shaking some of the rust off, but commands a huddle and can get the ball to his open receivers. He also has the intangibles of a gamer. He cares about winning. So, welcome to Jewball, Brooklyn.
What do I remember from Week 2? Was that the one with the marching band? I don’t know….let me check the stats…
Okay, so I remember now. Oppen came late and we were killing him for it, but turned out he was in a car accident on the way to the game. He made it a bit late, but awesome that he made it. Game 1A was Pray v. Gronk and it was a good back and forth one. I remember Held (who calls himself Playmaka) getting revved up at the line. I remember Sting playing very well. Tough and fast. I remember Gronk finding Vegh open a lot. I think this was the game where Solo left in the middle to tape up his ankle. I think Munch subbed in for both teams…which reminds me now of what happened in Game 2 so we can get to that. I remember Rook making some nice grabs. I remember I sucked and felt like s— after the game. Probably Prime bullied me. I dropped a TD laser from Gronk that he managed to get off and it emerged from the chaos of the line like a missile launched from a fog. That ruined my day. When I left at the end of regulation and a College Rule set each….it was tied. I was told we won after that. Better than losing.
Game 1B was my second Bin/Zinn experiment but I think Bin QBed the whole time. It did not go well. Randomizer had some trouble in Week 2. I had a month to tweek it, so I expect better results from it in Week 4.  Yaron trounces Rabin 5-1. Invader had only TD for Bin. Angry Mighty picked up 2 more scores.
Game 2 had some controversy. In a game where Dachs defeated Yaron 6-3, I was told the teams were one-sided. I was also told that Munch played defense for Dachs. I’ll just make 2 points. 1.) On Sign up weeks….if you want to play….sign up by Thursday night. I know, we all don’t know what our lives will be like Sunday morning. Anything can happen. We can take that for granted. But don’t let the unpredictability of life paralyze you. There are people who never make plans because they always want to “wait and see.” There are people who never do anything because they are always waiting to see if they can. If they time. If things will work out. Jewball is a few hours on a Sunday morning. Jump on in. Take the plunge and make it work. We have over 30 people committed each Sunday. We can’t wait on guys. We have no reason to. Sign up Tues—Thursday. Teams are posted Friday. Don’t put it on me to find you a spot or move people around after that. 2.) Once teams are posted, those are the teams. When you get to the field, even if people finished Game 1, even if people are standing on the sidelines who did not get in a game….it is not your place to make a rotation or give away your spot. If we have an injury, or someone leaves in an emergency….awesome that there are guys on the sidelines who can keep the game going with even numbers. But short of you being unable to play, if you are there….stay in the game. The teams have 7 players. Jewball is two ways. You play offense and defense. Even if you suck at both. There is no player option to sit for a set. And certainly not to sit for a side of the game. Jewball is not Croton. It is not Degel. It is Jewball and we play the Jewball way. Every player, plays both ways, for 90 minutes. We look down on breaks. If that’s not for you, that’s not for you. Decide if you want to make it for you. Which brings me to….teams are made to work based on the above. If you take someone like Munch and invite him to play for you – and you are not Munch  – your team just got a lot better. And that’s not fair. The teams were randomly constructed to be random. Official Munch is not part of the formula.
Jewball to Gronk for Game 1A. To Mighty for Game 1B. To Rook for Game 2.
Leagues on Sunday! Hope to see everyone there. It’s a holiday! Even if you are not playing, come on out. Will be some great battles on the field.

A busy week makes Week 1 feel like a fast-fading memory. By the time week 2 comes around, Week 1 will feel like it was from last season. So, let’s get to recapping.
We have had many monumental Week 1s. Days filled with sunshine and hope and the reuniting of friends who had not seen each other for over five months. They are always great. Symbolizing both rebirth and the continuing cycle. There is no Jewball without a chain of seasons. And there is no season without a beginning and an end. Kohelet says that ends are predicated on the beginning (though we have had plenty of seasons that started off slow and picked up steam). Well, steam has not been a problem in Jewball for a while. Nowadays – We start strong and finish strong.
This is my 21st full season. 21st opening day. I was brought to the game by Michael “Gish” Grushko in 2001. Became a regular in 2002. Commissioner in 2005. I’ve been playing Jewball almost half my life. So let’s talk about life for a second. It’s that time of year.
I could focus on the fact that we had 3 games on Opening Day; a staggeringly awesome first. That’s crazy enough. That’s a headline. But, when processing what went down, it struck me as fateful that we had 36 players participating in Week 1. Because 36 is not just any number. It’s two times chai (the Hebrew word Chai means life and the Hebrew letters that make up that word equal 18). And I am not a gematriah (numerology) guy or a superstitious guy. I am, however, an opportunist when it comes to manipulative symbolism. 18 is Chai. 18 is the number that equals life. 36 then is two times that. To venture a step further and take an additional recap writer’s liberty. 36 represents a second life.
One way to look at the concept of a second life in relation to Jewball is that it’s kind of like a shadow life. A life apart from the one we already lead. One that runs parallel, just below the surface of our “real” lives. I won’t call it a better life. But I will say it is an alternate life. Where we can be our alternate selves and achieve alternate goals. Develop connections that would never occur in our first lives.
Another way to look at it is that Jewball gives you a second dose of life. A second life force. I think both these concepts are worth considering. 36 players. A second life.
I think about this time of year with Rosh Hashanah and – I’ll be honest – as self pitying as it sounds – when I say Shma Koleinu nowadays, it hits different (as the kids say). Used to be it was all about the first two verses. Those were the ones that got all my attention and devotion. No, I’m not ancient, but when I was younger, I couldn’t relate to Al Tashlicheini L’Et Zikna, Kichlos Kocheinu al Ta’azveinu. Translated as our asking not to be abandoned in our old age and when our strength diminishes. It’s a cry to God, but I don’t think it’s talking about a spiritual abandonment. This is a plea rooted in the physical world. When I’m old here! When I’m physically weak here! So, it’s talking about something terrestrial. It’s talking about God not letting people abandon us when we are old and weak. No, I’m not there yet. Eddie is not there yet. None of us are there yet, thankfully. But there is something to Jewball being the remedy to this malady. We will all grow older and weaker (perhaps causing each other at times to be broken), but we do not abandon each other. We remain together on the field. This keeps us young. This keeps us healthy. This keeps us strong. And this keeps us together. We do not leave anyone behind. And I’ll close with this when I talk about the Draft and Leagues.
To the games:
Week 1 came in hot because Zez signed up for an appearance at QB. The Jewball legend who made Aliyah just before the Revolution and never got to fully enjoy these halcyon days, was going to be in town for a few hours before heading to Connecticut. So…obviously, he packed his gear, came to the field straight from the airport, and got a game in. Rooks….you want to be a legend? Watch and learn from the legends.
There were some insane storylines coming into Week 1. The Rookie class was in attendance (with the exception of Stats who is on the mend from Pre-Season – heal up). That meant Zinn, Dachs, Dax, and Oppen coming down and showing what they were made of. You had DK, the longtime Plus 1, attempting to show he’s a keeper -taking on Solo who has proven to be Round 1 talent. You had Ivry – the golden child from the past few seasons and reigning TD Leader pitted against Invader Zinn. Zinn looking to prove that the hype is not just hype. That Mighty is right. That he is not just flavor of the month, but someone who can light up the Jewball stage for a decade and beyond. We had the return of Whiskey, Waldo, and Sting. Battling back from injury. Then we had some of classic storylines. Would Feit bounce back? Yaron v. Pray for the first time since Red Sunday? Would MK know what time the game was? What does 3 games even look like?
It started off like any classic Jewball season. Scouting for a field and getting tossed before even being able to set up on a new one. Confusion on the chat. People being diverted and rerouted. Yaron and I at Greis watching some dude unlock a gate at 7:40am and spoil our plans of 2 fields (Sorry Daveo). All for the best. This just meant taking our chances that Old Dudes wouldn’t show up at Hewlett. And they didn’t. So – blessings and miracles do not cease – 28 Jewballers started the season at the same time with side by side games. On one field, Zez v. Feit, and on the other Yaron v. Pray.
While I did lookover a few times to see what was going on with Yaron and Pray, I was mostly focused on my game and trying not to get bulldozed by Zez. Well, he bulldozed me in 2009 and he bulldozed me in 2022. Ad meah v’esrim, brother. He started our Jewball season by going into his bag of trick (no typo) and taking off down the sideline. Despite Goldberg being charged with stopping him and Beast poised to stop him – no one got in his way – and I don’t blame them. Zez is a truck and he doesn’t give a rhymes with truck. Zez scores the first TD of the Jewball season and takes a 1-0 lead over Feit. With Solo coming after him, which would shake any mortal QB, Feit was impressively composed. He went through his progressions but got rid of the ball quick. I didn’t see the pump “fakes” which plagued him in year’s past. He moved the ball very well with Beast and Irv using the middle of the field. Beast put a hit on Zez that made me feel a lot better about all the bullying I took from Zez over the years. Not sure I’ve ever seen Zez get put on the ground. Feit soon found Irv on a cross in the endzone and zipped one in to a very tight window – Irv seeing the ball in to his grip expertly and the score was tied. Zez squandered a few opportunities to score using his tall receivers, Zinn and Waldo by putting just a bit too much air under the ball and sending the ball slightly beyond the endzone. And speaking of putting air under ball, Feit threw a bomb to Irv that stayed in the air forever. Luckily, its arc proved true and Irv tracked it down on the straightaway to score TD number 2 for him and for his team. Feit leads 2-1. Zez punched right back by driving with runs and Solo leaking out from the TE position. It was Zinn at the front of the endzone with Feit draped on his back. Zinn is on the board. We expect him and Irv competing for TD Leader the entire season (unless Zada keeps it up). A drive later, Beast made a hell of a catch running full speed and over the wrong shoulder to put Feit up 3-2. With time winding down, Zez went steamroller mode once again and created a TD purely by tucking the ball, running fast (for his age, of course) and punching people in the face along the way. Game knotted at 3. Feit had one last shot in regulation, but he missed a wide open Goldberg (or according to some Goldberg missed a wide open ball) and even with some College Rules OT….the game ended in a tie. No Jewball to be awarded.

Over in Game 1B, as we called it (and reminder to thank PJs for his phone on a swivel and getting us some footage) I caught a few glimpses and heard some cheering. I saw Zada put up a point – he had 2. I saw Pray running a fair amount but he did not have any rushing TDs. Storm caught one for Pray as well. Bottom line Pray beats Yaron 3-1 (MK being the one score for Yaron). Looks like Zada with the Jewball. Difference maker that he is.
Game 2 had some glitches. While it’s existence allowed 8 Jewballers to get a game when they otherwise would have been locked out, the quality needs to improve. As discussed on TBI, Boths are not a right. Yes, they are a privilege, but they are also an obligation. It’s an obligation to the players who are being joined by you in their one and only game. The fact is – both is easy to say and type (four letters, one syllable), hard to do. Maybe even impossible to do. And it certainly is not something most of us can do. Boths need to be reserved for players who can and will BRING IT both games. It requires conditioning, stamina, concentration and commitment. I felt for the players in Game 2. Guys jumping in and out. Guys leaving. Guys unable or unwilling to keep up. It was a shame because it was Dachs’ first game – and the players on his team were dropping everything. One guy who definitely seemed up for the challenges of Both was Pray. He gets the W, 4-2 over Dachs. Hitting Mighty, Zada (3 TDs on the day!) and Dax for scores – as well as running one in. Jewball to Pray for a dominant start to his season.
This has been long, but let’s talk Draft Party before we go. I have to start by owning up. I am never one to run around like a phony asking for mechila from everyone I meet in the days leading up to Rosh Hashana. As Dax might say, What a Scam! Do you mochel me? Do you mochel me? Do you mochel me? That’s  not right sticker. Of course we should be interested in forgiveness – generally. And this time of year highlights the interest. But step 1.) Know what you are asking forgiveness for, and 2.) Once you know – ask forgiveness for that thing from the person(s) who you wronged. Have the balls to be specific. Don’t be a “If did anything to offend you….” You know what you did! Express it. That’s just general advice.
The Draft Party was a good time – it was special. It was a celebration and it needs to grow and continue. But, it got ugly toward the end. After the first 4 rounds, there was a clear tension in the air. That only increased and became more painful and distressing as time went on. Listen, I’m not too cool to say it – I love every Jewballer. And I didn’t like see guys slighted, offended, insulted, and left out of the party as the rounds got late. So I’m sorry to all Jewballers for seeing that coming and still letting it happen. It was inevitable and I should have avoided it. I know it’s too little too late, but I’m being honest and not patronizing you, there was  real real talent until the last round. Our problem is just that we couldn’t get a 5th QB (Offman!). And it’s a major problem. Because if we had a 5th QB, the party would have had no bad vibes. I know a lot of people felt bad about how it went down. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t necessary. And that’s on me. Jewball, I ask mechilah for the embarrassment I allowed Thursday night. I feel like shit about it. I know the Captains do as well. I failed them and you.  Again, cuz we really love every player, and respect every player – and I didn’t do right by us. Also, it should have been a snake 🙂
But teshuvah is not just asking for mechilah…it’s doing something about it. So here goes: League Rule number 912: Although every team only brings down 8 players per game, the Captains must give every drafted player at least one start in the regular League Season. Start just means every player is brought down for one game. They can be the 8th man, but they are brought down. I just don’t want anyone completely excluded from the Leagues experience. We can’t make such a big deal about Leagues and then entirely exclude people – especially really good players. That’s not who we are. That’s not who we want to be. We have choices in life. Let’s strive to make the right ones, even if we can’t always get them right the first time.
Jewball! Wishing us and our families a year of health, stats, stickers, quality games, quality experiences, opportunities to come through for one another, great lines, great catches, pushing ourselves, grinding through, growth, good clean routes, no bad calls, and the continued ability to be our best Jewball selves.

LEAGUE SCHEDULE:

Game 1 – 10/23/22
8am: Topguns vs. BOP
945: Lionhearts vs. Roll Tide

Game 2 – 11/20/22
8am: BOP vs. Roll Tide
945: Lionhearts vs. Topguns

Game 3 – 12/11/22
8am: Lionhearts vs. BOP
945: Topguns vs. Roll Tide

Game 4 – 1/1/23
8am: Lionhearts vs. Roll Tide
945: Topguns vs. BOP

Game 5 – 1/15/23
8am: Lionhearts vs. Topguns
945: BOP vs. Roll Tide

Game 6 – 2/12/23
8am: Topguns vs. Roll Tide
945: Lionhearts vs. BOP

WEEK 1

Game 1A
8am – 930am
HHS

Dark

Feit – QB
DK
Beast
Goldberg
Jordan
Sam
Irv

Colors

Zez – QB
Rabin
Waldo
Solo
Klink
E
Zinn

Game 1B
8am – 930am
HHS or TBD

Dark

Yaron – QB
Maor
Rook
Jack
MK
Tabak
Dobs

Colors

Pray – QB
Zada
Sting
Storm
Prime
Kut
Bert

Game 2
945am – 11:15am
HHS

Dark
Winners of Yaron v. Pray
Dax (young Dachs for now)
Whiskey

Colors
Dachs – QB
Logan
Daveo
Winners of Feit v. Zez