How is this the Week 18 Recap? What evil magic allowed Vets Rooks to be upon us already? Where is Gamora? Why are Leagues?
Seasons come and seasons go. Another one is slipping away just as we begin to clench our fists to grasp it. As you can tell, on this sacred Vets Rook Eve, coming off a Shabbos that featured a Shalom Zachor for the ages by Vegh and a bonding session with PJs in the whipping wind – it’s just moving. There is so much. The first year of the Age of the Enlightenment needs a good breakdown. But soon. Not just yet. For now, that closing fist continues its futile attempt to hold on and not let go. Never let go.
With last Sunday being the final League game and 5 of the 6 played….well….we all know Leagues need an adjustment. Not a cancellation. That’s crazy talk. In Jewball, we talk crazy, but we do sane. Sane is make the fixes. Add a team or two so everyone gets drafted in 9 or 10 rounds tops. Done. Problem solved. Draft night is great. League Weeks are great. Dachs says more Leagues in the TBI episode that for some reason started at minute 26 on my phone. Weird glitch. Leagues will continue for many years.
What flipped completely upside down was the hierarchy of Leagues. I was there in the pre-season. I saw Dachs and Dax and Zinn and Oppen. I knew Stats and Legs and Ernie and Rook and Waldo and Whiskey. I knew what that team was. I knew what happened on Draft Night. I believe my record has me calling them as a super scary team early on. I believed in them. They will probably win the whole thing. I’ve always said that I think only one team stands in their way. I still believe that. And that’s the team that got spanked by them for the second time last week. The high and Mighty team that was celebrating a championship on Draft Night. The team that Goldberg likes to mock from his room at Shady Pines. The team that Prime likes to check from his crib on Xandar. That’s right. Top Guns can beat Roll Tide. But everything with Top Guns this season has been an IF. The wheels came off League Game One and the car remains in the shop. We shall see if they can have their Fast and Furious moment in the post season. For now….it’s reality time.
With Singer still on the IR, Jack auditing Legs’ company, Munch grappling with alligators, Logan nursing his ankle and his son, and B-sh sleeping in his car with his spatula at the ready to come to the Super Bowl BBQ to help…..the Top Guns were once again shorthanded. But, hey, every team is this time of year. Well, except for Roll Tide. They seem to always be at full strength. Dax is out with a back. He can’t walk. He can’t move. He can’t find his turquoise cap. Nah, he’s there. Zipping around. Cutting nonstop like Kut on a Thursday night.
Legs brought his son, which was really a precious moment – so I proceeded to mercilessly curse Legs out in front of the youth. And that was after he bought us a bbq. But….Jewball always first. Violence always first.
Hard for me to write from a non Top Guns perspective. Roll Tide deserves better. They deserve credit. They are really friggin good. They are the best team with the best QB, perhaps bets line, certainly best WRs, and honestly – really likeable guys. It’s a team any sports fan would love to root for. But on Sunday, I was really proud to battle with the Top Guns. There is no reason to do the back and forth thing with this game. The final was 34-7. Top Guns lost in a big way. However, I look at it like this: Considering how many people were out…Top Guns gave them a game. At the half it was 21-7 and Top Guns had the ball to make it a one score game at mid field. Did they score? No. Does the offense need to figure out ways to move the ball? Yes. Dachs and Perla (and Gronk) do the one thing that every QB needs to prioritize better than any other in Jewball: Process the simplest way to move the ball down field. They see the defense. They know their weapons. And they do the math. The result is points and Ws. Dachs scored with the usual RT suspects. Zinn put up 2, Dax 1, and Ernie 1. Listen, you can’t beat that team scoring 1 TD. But…I’m here writing recaps and I get to shout out my team. Daveo was hurt and the guy is pure heart out there. Will battle with him until the chevra kadisha do my tahara on the field. Bert is getting more and more dangerous every week. Feit was a warrior on defense and threw an excellent ball Sunday. Just didn’t have the time or playbook to fully respond to the moment. Dob is my Jewball spirit animal. And Mighty is the GOAT. And I remember Salem! He was there! He came out to support. Anyway, bottom line: Love Top Guns. Hate everyone else. Lets win this bastard and shock Goldberg out of his coma.
I think Dachs threw a perfect game. The only incompletions were straight jobs. He was poised as hell. Ran one in and threw 4 TDs. Yeah…so that’s a Jewball.
As our game was ending, I think someone was trolling me saying that Yaron was blowing out Pray in the other League Game, BOP v. Lionhearts. In reality, it was a close one. Zada and Sting each had TDs for LH and Prime has one for BOP. Interesting to note that Storm went TDless so as Daveo tallied for us the other day, with 2 weeks left….Zinn is TD Leader with 25 and Storm is chasing him with 23. Incredible race and incredible season for two absolute studs from this season. All eyes on Rookies game tomorrow.
I caught the final Lionhearts drive, which was technically in overtime, but it was agreed to extend the game a bit. If Lionhearts scored it would seal their W. With Yaron throwing from the 14 he powers one to the back of the end zone where Sting is cutting across. Great pass and catch for the game winner. It looked like Sting caught it. Came down in bounds and was forced out, but Prime saw the ball moving even as Sting went out of bounds. So we ran it back (not sure if it was 4th down – meaning, was that Yaron’s final shot if we didn’t replay it?) But anyway…..if there is such thing as Jewball God’s showing us that a proper call was made…..it happened  on the very next play. An even better pass catch from Yaron to Sting – this time at the back left corner of the endzone. Catch. Sting dragged his toes and his balls, and got all 5 in! Now…that’s a game winner. Let’s eat!!! Wait…Jewball first…..I mean….I didn’t see too much of the game but Sting had 2 TDs of the 3 and he made incredible catches in the final two plays of the game to prevent the collapse that we know Yaron wanted to complete. So…Sting….Jewball to you, my guy.
Now Let’s Eat! What a great Super Bowl BBQ that was! I gave all the thanks on the chat….but one more time: To Legs for donating our official Jewball BBQ – it will allow us to have so many great post game feasts! Bless you, brother. To Waldo for the jammed cooler and really good music. Daveo for the gourmet wings and sliders. O and Aliza for the Prime Kuts. Ernie and Salem for the drinks. Salem also for Qing. Klink for the plates, cups etc., PJs for the always delectable PJoppers. And….again….on this holy night of reflecting before Vets Rook 2023 – a night where we prepare to face each other in pitiless combat to secure the ultimate Jewball Prize – a night where we know that just beyond that veil of fierce competition is a brotherhood like no other. A history like no other. A story like no other. Something….as the rabbis say – meein olam haba (a taste of paradise on earth, a taste of the sweet eternal). That is Jewball. As amazing as tomorrow will be in its own isolated compartmentalized segment of time and place…..it is a living, breathing, changing, evolving organism with a vibrant unified soul and the heartbeat of hundreds who have traveled the path before us, with us, and will travel it in our name when we are gone.

There was a short window during the summer of 2021 when travel to Israel was possible for vaccinated tourists. Probably lasted 3 weeks before another shut down. Just so happened that my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah took place during that window. It was the Covid family reunion we had been waiting for. I spoke at that time about all the family celebrations that were missed in the interim – where we couldn’t be together – or had to severely minimize – but it was this bar mitzvah boy who merited to finally bring us all together. It couldn’t be planned or coordinated. It’s just fate saying…I see you.
Well, Week 17 was the Jewball gods looking down on us and saying to one Jewballer in particular: I see you. I see what you’ve done for this group. I appreciate your commitment and sacrifices. Once upon a time, when Munch was a skinny high school kid in a big floppy knit hat, his big brother Meir brought him down to fill out a game. We played that game at Bay Park. I remember the big floppy hat. I remember the glass on the field. I actually vividly remember running to chase down someone and Munch was side by side with me trying to block – he wasn’t bigger than me then – and I looked into these wild eyes. I didn’t know if I’d ever see Munch again. He reappeared with Meir after each of them finished their Israel years. Meir was not a small guy, but his brother was then a truck. And he played with us but  also a bit with Snow and Singer so it was hard to say whether he would be loyal to us or just using us as tackling dummies. But Munch stuck. Like I said…or tried to say at the draft party……we always had credibility in Jewball because we had Munch (and Zez and Mighty) standing with us. We don’t exist without the loyalty of those A caliber players who saw something in us and made us their home. On occasion, they went off to make their fortunes and conquer in the Leagues, but they always came home. Their stamp of approval deemed us worthy. We held our heads up. And….most importantly….we had every right to expect good players to join us. They did. Many of them. And last Sunday….40 excellent players – from all generations – joined Munch on the field. No one was zocheh to that. Ever. Except Munch.
Munch, I can’t think of a single true Jewballer who left our game and left for good. So I know u will be back. Wishing you health, success, and much mazal in finding the kind of family down in Florida that u found with us. You won’t, but good luck.
From one legend to another….
If it wasn’t for Munch, this recap would have to be all about Spira. In Game 1, Jordan, Rabin, and Spira (all having worn the Commissioner hat) stepped onto the field together to play in a regular season Jewball game. The first time the 3 were on a team together for a regular season game since 2003. In what other game do things like that happen? I’ll tell you. None. Not a one. That’s a Jewball exclusive.
Along with Munch in his final home game, the ancient veterans were joined by the treasure of the Dark Ages, Kut, HOF QB, Yaron, and MVP candidate, Storm. On the other side was Feit – always competitive and looking to get some Ws against the top tier of QBs. His team was complimented with the superstar rookie tandem of Zinn and Oppen, along with veterans PJs and Sam, and rounded out with playmakers Zada and Waldo.
First possession of the game Yaron goes deep to Jordan and although Jordan beats his man to the spot, he gets a hand on the ball and no more. It’s a catch a good receiver makes. Not a middling one. Opportunity wasted. But it did not factor much in the game. Yaron was on (at least in Game 1) and Feit struggled to put up points. Zinn was a little banged up from the prior week and he just wasn’t his dominant self. And he needed to be the way the teams were constructed. You know who was his dominant self? Spira. The old man whose references make Bert’s seem contemporary showed that great hands have no expiration date. He got the party started with a one handed pick from the safety position that lead to a one handed TD by Jordan. 1-0 Yaron. Feit’s timing with his receivers was a bit off and it resulted in fruitless possessions. But this was a game where it just felt like Yaron’s crew just wanted it a bit more – Munch had to go out with a W. No play showed that desire more than the Storm pick in a coverage battle with Zinn. Feit threw a routine comebacker to Zinn that Zinn catches 97% of the time and takes off. But Storm is an exceptional player having an exceptional season. He races to the spot and wrestles the ball from Zinn. There was also Kut making nice catches from the TE spot and turning on that meat board speed down the sideline. By the time Spira made a catch for the aged, sorry, ages – again with one hand – for 40 yards, it became clear that Munch would have his signature send off win. Oppen – becoming quite the offensive weapon – scored the lone TD for Feit and Storm tacked one on ton extend his TD Leader lead over Zinn. Yaron gets the W and Jewball to Spira for the electric day. Hope to see you out there a lot more next year.
After the game Jordan and Feit got into a little heated debate over whether Klecko deserves to be in the NFL Hall of Fame. He was right it turns out. Across the field, Mighty had replaced Justin which required a team swap. Of course Dax ended up with Dachs in the trade. In what was probably the best game of the day, Pray edged Dachs on the final play of the game. But of course since Mighty was involved, there had to be some controversy. With the score tied and Mighty having already put up 2 points for his team, Mighty darts over the middle and one of the best LB’s in Jewball history, Solo, tracks him the whole way, but is a step behind. Contact was made before the ball was caught, but the question remained whether contact was made after the ball was caught. Mighty makes the grab and falls forward. Dachs’ squad assumes down by contact, but Mighty assumes down by contact prior to the reception. He gets up and scurries his way into the end zone. Game over. Mighty had a great game with 3TDs and a pick….and if the final was 3-2 or 4-3, Jewball would be his….but Pray threw 6 TDs, scoring with 4 different receivers. That’s a Jewball for the comeback kid.
Yaron did not fare as well in his Game 2. Pray fared about the same and whipped Yaron 6-1, picking up his second Jewball of a massively successful day. Logan went down early, stacking the odds against Yaron, but rumor has it the drops plagues him once again and Sting stepping in for Logan was too little too late. I heard Rook had a pick the blew everyone’s mind. But the storyline is the full return of Pray (although on Tuesday night he said he paid a price with his leg not being full healed).
In the last game of the day, Rabin once again took on Perla and this time he really really really thought he could get the win. And he came close. Was a pretty pedestrian game for the first hour and fifteen minutes. Dobs was hurt. Zinn was hurt. Rabin took advantage of the offensive weapons he was comfortable with. Jordan and Rabin have had chemistry forever and there is a lot of trust there. Rabin scored with Jordan beating a hobbled Dobs right away. And shortly after that Zinn got over the top of Storm and it was quick 2-0. Looked like it was going to be a route. But Perla actualizes the Rabin mantra. He bends and doesn’t break. And it helps to have a relentless TD Leader on your team. Storm caught fire and tied things up very quickly, helped out by 2 picks by Dobs. All of a sudden a laugher became a game. Solo got serious at LB and starting sniffing everything out. Rabin’s offense went to sleep. And Perla kept being his methodical self – chipping away. And just like that – quicker than he reaches for the lube in the exam room – Rabin was down 3-2. Finding Jordan on the next possession over the middle and with a 58 yard run that ended with a Solo track and kill – Rabin punched it again with Jordan (he tried Oren first, but Oren was saving his skills for Tuesday night). With the score tied 3-3 and Rabin hoping to have a chance in OT, Perla was permitted to orchestrate one last drive in regulation. And the White Good Symphony was at perfect pitch. No big yard plays, but just first down after first down….and a game winner to Justin in the back left corner in the end zone. Perla wins. Rabin still looking for answers. Although it was a pure team win for Perla’s squad….it felt like everyone was rallying around Beast and Solo. Very hard to give out a Jewball for this one. In the end, I guess it’s Storm. Two TDs and he kept Zinn in check.

WEEK 17
4 GAMES!
HOLY F
LHS
JEWBALL FOR LIFE

8am

Game A

Dark

Feit – QB
PJs
Zada
Sam
Zinn
Oppen
Waldo

Colors

Yaron – QB
Spira
Munch 
Rabin
Kut
Storm
Jordan

Game B

Dark

Dachs – QB
Steveo
Bert
Sting
Prime
Solo
Dobs

Colors

Pray – QB
Dax
Ernie
Tom
DK
Beast
Justin

945

Game A

Dark

Pray – QB
Prime
Oppen
Daveo
MK
Rook
Mike

Colors

Yaron – QB
Kut
Waldo
Whiskey
Logan
Legs
Mo

Game B

Dark

Rabin – QB
Jordan
Zinn
DK
Klink
O
O Plus 1

Colors

Perla – QB
Storm
Tom
Solo
Dobs
Beast
Justin

A PJ’s perspective….
Week 16 was like none other. Jordan, our Commish, the glue to our Jewball family was away with kill on the greatest tour of Texas that any of us could’ve of dreamed of. IJWT isn’t just Jewball belief but seriously its a religious thing in Texas all day and night. J and Kill are Meeting World Series MVP’s, hanging with Jerry Jones, and meeting cowboys cheerleaders. Only thing that was missing was all of us with the cheerleaders! But I digress…. The show must go on and week 16 was going to be played. An old field in the Jewball lore is Lawrence High School. The place that the “resurgence” built. But it will also be the home of “Red Sunday”. A day that lives in infamy and of course a day I want to forget, have possibly forgotten, and will eventually forget. But, Hewlett has been a treasured home and now taken over… so we go back to old reliable and it was there for the taking. We had Dachs out this week, so Feit steps in to take on his old nemesis in Pray. Pray lines up with a returning Sting, Zada, Oppen, Beast, Tabak, and Ernie. Feit would get some of his TG teammates in Singer and Munch along with Dax, DK, Bert, and PJ’s. Both team were “stacked”, locked and loaded to make the last January football game a classic. Feit starts off quick getting the ball to DK for some yards, he will get Singer a pass as well. Ultimately drives his team down and finds Dax to take an early 1-0. Pray wanted to respond. He methodically leads his team down the field. Gets himself in a 3rd and goal at 8 but fails to connect with Ernie on this down and on fourth down with some solid D by PJ’s. Next offensive possession the curse of Lawrence High School Red Sunday looked to be peaking in. Singer and Sting knees collide and it looks scary. Singer our #1 pick, last years MVP, and honestly one of the best people in Jewball was really hurting. He’s been battling injuries all season and no one wants him to have setback. Sting who has his own injury story and setbacks was luckily ok and would play the rest of the game. Singer sits out the drive in hopes of returning. Feit still feeling confident rallies the team down the field and once again finds Dax for his second TD. Feit is up 2-0 and yells at his team that “there is plenty of time left and we can’t give up a score Becuase he’s seen Pray come back too many time”. Feit is quite prophetic. Singer tried to play D, but his knee wouldn’t have it. In comes Yaron to help out Jewball. Yaron instantly picks off Pray on a deep pass. Feit wouldnt do much on that drive. Pray gets the ball back and methodically drives down again and this time finds Ernie who beats PJ’s for the TD. 2-1 Feit. Dax is a true weapon and Feit started utilizing the blocking in front of him to get yards on screens to Dax and QB runs. Feits get himself a first and goal at the 48 and forgets that Oppen is across from him. Oppen would sack him twice knock him behind the 50 and ultimately end the drive. Pray would lead another long thought out drive that ends with a Zada TD. We are all tied up. Feit gets another shot at taking back the lead but he would once again March the team down only to get another first and goal and be knocked behind the 50 by Beast and Oppen. Beast to add insult to injury decided to rip Feits pants off and Feit is basically playing in his underwear. Top Guns may need to analyze this strategy. Feit would stall out and Pray would do the same. It’s 9:25 and the final drive of regulation. Feit is getting the ball in Dax’s hands and it’s working. Gets himself 1st and goal at the 35. Fists play is an incomplete. Second down he’s got Yaron wide open in the endzone and misses him for an incomplete. Then on 3rd down Feits got PJ’s running a wheel route only to lob it up for Ernie and he will pick it off and regulation is over. Pray gets the ball first and is unable complete any passes. Feit has a chance to win it and he does what was needed and finds Dax on a crossing route for the game winning TD to walk off the field with the “W”. Well done Feit to manage and come back. Dax was a beast all day and deserves the honor of the Jewball for week 16’s early game. Oppen with 3 sacks gets an honorable mention despite the loss but more on him later.

Game 2 had a much different storyline. We have the receiving TD leader Storm up against the second place receiving TD leader but best TD: Game ration in Jewball. How many TD’s would they each catch? Could Zinn overtake Storm? Or does Storm runaway with it? Here is thing, no matter who wins at the end. We are witnessing two players playing at a very high level. It’s enjoyable to watch the legacies they are creating. Yaron lines up with his LH teammate in Storm along with Waldo, Tom, Oppen, Rook, and Dobs. Pray looking to bounce back from the early loss lines up with his BOP teammate and brother Prime, returning Spira, Dave-O, DK, Beast, and Zinn. Pray gets the ball first and immediately finds Zinn for some good yards. A few plays later he finds Dave-O in the middle of the field for a big gain and some more getting past the whole D and scoring to take a 1-0 lead. Yaron gets the ball and his first drive gets to the red-zone and on 4th down Yaron throws a good pass to Waldo that was fingertipped by a beaten zinn who saved a td and turnover on downs. Pray drives down again pretty easily riding short game and hits daveo on a bullet for a td up 2-0. Yaron stalls out and here comes Pray shaking off the early loss and once agaun dives down the field and he gets to the redzone but it’s now 4th and goal from 25 he gets flushed and throws up a lobber to zinn flying in for a td to make it 3-0 with 45 min left. Now I don’t think Pray verbalized what Feit did in game one but clearly Yaron drank “Mike’s secret stuff” or Dave-O’s unlabeled stuff but either way he found his groove. He hits Waldo who makes a sick 1 handed catch and big yards. Finally he gets back to redzone and on first and goal hits storm on a curl take get back in the game. For those keeping score Zinn and Storm both have TD’s in this game. Pray drives AGAIN gets to redzone gaining big chunks w daveo and co. Runs an option pass with zinn who throws an interception to waldo giving Yarons team much more life. Yaron finds both rook and Waldo who both made contentious catches over zinn. Yaron is in the redzone and on 4th and goal, he will hit Tom in the back of the endzone to make it 3-2. Now we’ve got a game. Now oppen and dobs are taking over and oppen racking up sacks 4 on the day and turnover on downs. Yaron was game tying drive in his reach. There was a play that some call a game changer and other call a fair call. However you see it, this is what happens, Yaron throws a screen to Waldo who is stiff arming zinn to the floor and running with daylight and with lead blockers  and basically a guaranteed td. But play called back on a flag guard. Now it’s hard for anyone to argue but Zinn felt like he was blocked and Waldo felt like it was a stiff arm. It’s a tough call to make but such a call was made. Yaron still had plenty of time to tie this game and will find Dobs over daveo for a 45 yard jump ball. Gets his team back to the redzone and almost hits storm in the middle of the endzone but a game saving poke out by prime, and it’s a turnover on downs. Prime making a timely defensive play like he is used to. Pray takes over and drives down with 10 min left. Pray finds daveo whi takes it into the redzone at the 5 yard line. It’s now 4th and 12. Pray with an option pass to zinn who is supposed to throw it back to Pray but sees Prime and Dave-O wide open and decided to let the two of them fight out who wants the TD more. Prime makes it very clear that he wants the stat and it’s prime for an open td. It’s now 4-2 and game seems out of reach for Yaron. Yaron still rallies the team with a few catch n runs by rook to get to redzone, and on second and goal prime baited a pass and jumped a route to storm to end the game with an int. 4-2 victory for Pray. Dave-O had an incredible offensive game and made big play after big play. He is this weeks Jewball with 2.5 TD’s but just being super reliable play after play. Prime gets honorable mention with his Defense on Storm and his own teammate Dave-O. Oppen racked up 7 sacks on the day and is now the sack leader. Storm and Zinn each finish with a TD each making the last few weeks quite interesting and entertaining. Can’t wait for Week 17 and the return of Texas J!

The Jewish week runs Sunday to Saturday. This we know.  The NFL week runs Thursday to Wednesday. This we also know. But when does a Jewball week start and end? I’m going to suggest that in this era of the Enlightenment, the first day of the Jewball week is Wednesday. Sign up closes out Thursday. Teams are posted Friday. The game is played Sunday. And the week ends with TBI and – hopefully coming soon – a football game at night to put close things put. Wednesday we start again.

If this is true, Week 15 began Wednesday morning when we gathered for the bris of Right Ted Fred. The week starts on fire. A table of Jewballers showing up like we do. Of course the usual suspects were there, but, like we said….Roy gonna Roy….and Zinn has show over the course of his short career that he doesn’t just get it – because all our rookies get it – but he wants to be an exceptional leader in our midst. Also shout out to Prime for being present on the Zoom.
Sign up was locked out Thursday night and we had 28 in plus a 2 person waiting list. We did not know what was in store…
Stella dropped first, late Thursday – even before teams could be posted. No problem. Oren jumps in. Stats remained on the waiting list. And he was needed. Because the plague struck Saturday night. Over the frosty hours from sundown to sun up, Vegh had contracted diphtheria and barely had enough strength to post a 6am SOS. Stats jumped in. Meanwhile, Dax was having such severe delusions from his 107 fever that he thought he played in the game. Just kidding. But he did think he told his wife to tell his cousin to tell my cousin (not Oren –  the cool one – Ash) to tell Dachs’ wife to tell Dachs that he’d be out. Tom made it out to cover. Tom the man. And finally, we had Gronk suffering from a bad case of Cleatmidia. So he went GM and got Pray to show early and QB.
Bottom line….it was cold and we reverse engineered the shit out of Game 1 to make it happen in true Jewball fashion. And in a way it sucks and in a way there is nothing sweeted. As we will get to in the sentimental 3rd part of this recap, it was my birthday game – my last game at the overripe old age of 44. And as I stood out there with my team of Pray, Tom, O, Stats, PJs, ans Dob – a team that was inconceivable 24 hours earlier (hell, 1 hour earlier), it felt meant to be. And we had a real test. We had lost our number 1 receiver and a QB who has a win at will type of season last year. And we were stil facing Dachs with atomic weapons like Munch and Singer. Complimented with ballers – Steveo, Zada, Sam and Bert. Could the newborn team win? Could it even compete?? Find out! In the riveting second part of this recap! Reporting from Dallas. See you in Austin.

With the Alamo in the distance, I cannot in good conscience keep making excuses. It’s Week 15 Recap Part 2 time:
I know what everyone is thinking….did Sam get Jewball? Prime’s first and least favorite child made a really nice catch over the middle and racked up a sack, but it wasn’t enough to get him the coveted prize. But who would get it? Singer scored a TD and blocked everyone who needed blocking. In fact, Singer scored almost immediately. We started at 6s and before Tom showed up to bail out Dax, Dachs showed out. The Rookie QB hasn’t had a signature game in a while and this was the one he was waiting for – where he really put his mark on the game. He brought a lot of passion to this one. So Pray went from not playing to down 1 early on – and with a team that was assembled from good spare parts, but spare parts. Lucky for him, those spare parts were hungry. And stingy on defense. PJs, O and Dobs were relentless and combined for 5 sacks. Although Prays Colors did not pick off Dachs at all, the pressure kept Colors in the game. Before Dachs could score again, Pray found Jordan 45 yards downfield behind the defense and it gave Colors a first and goal. Pray handled business with a pass to Tom – a man who seems to be a QB favorite when the endzone is close. Dachs buckled down and came right back by using his speed and lead blockers to not only gain yards, but to actually evade the entire defense who failed to wrap him up. Dark goes up 2-1. Pray battles back again. Jordan nearly scored a TD after a 68 yard run, but Steveo did his thing and tracked him down like a puma stalking prey. Pulled his flags at 2 the yard loan and kept his team’s lead. Something that doesn’t show up in the box score. But Pray would not be denied. On his next possession, he threw a beautiful over the shoulder 37 yarder to Dobs who – QBs  take note! – does not drop the ball. The dude with deflated ego who loves  inflatables is a money receiver! Pass to this man! The score was tied late! Colors continued to play tight gritty defense and had opportunities to take the lead, but Munch and Bert were keeping Pray from scrambling and the defensive of Singer and Zada bottled up any attempts at screens and slants. On a day where Dachs was playing at a speed that was just a bit swifter than everyone else, it made sense that he would not be denied. With Singer lead blocking, Dachs sprung out to his left and slid past Colors’ defense. Flags were missed and more flags were  missed…..and Dachs scored.  The numbers and the effort gets him a Jewball. I think maybe Pray had ball last and Steveo picked a Hail Mary. And that was Game 1. Game 2 I missed, but I was hoping Rabin would beat Perla. It didn’t happen. Beast had 7 sacks! Chat made it sound like he was next level. Heard the offense was generally meh. Rook had 3 TDs in a win so sounds like a Jewball to me. Correct me if I’m wrong. Part 3 is just some birthday game hakaras hatov. Will report late from San Antonio along with the Week 16 teams.

Score another one for the randomizer. Week 14 put on a show in the sunshine. Two close games and this recapper played in both. So, no excuse for any fuzzy details. Plus, no drama. So, no excuse for the histrionics. Let’s get to the football.
Prime was latest to pull up after 8, but no one is gonna criticize a man with a newborn at home for arriving late. It’s amazing these guys get out. By new rule: Prime is on Dark so Colors gets last licks. 
Dark takes the ball with Pray calling the plays. He lines up with Oppen, Jordan, Prime, Bert, Stats, and….is that a Singer sighting? The No. 1 pick returns after an ankle injury that kept him out for over a month! He tested it the prior TNF game and was ready to kill in Week 14. 
There was some symmetry in the game as it begins with Dachs trying to float one over Jordan and the ball just didn’t have enough air under it. Jordan reaches up and begin his day with a pick. Dark starts its day with a bonus possession. The possession did not turn into points. Pray was bit unsure of himself as he continues to grit his way to full speed football. Would that self-doubt translate into an L?
Dachs got himself right quickly. With weapons like Dax, Storm, Gronk, Beast, O, and the newly platinum Stella at his disposal, it was only a matter of time. With his patented mix of stop and go outs, Colors got on the board first with yet another Dachs to Dax TD. But Pray bounced right back. First with a P6 to knot things up and 1 and then mixing in QB runs with….QB runs, Pray made it to the red zone where he rolled right and threw left. A 20 yard strike to an open Oppen who made the first TD of his Jewball career look easy. Dark takes a slim lead.
At this point, the shadows had disappeared from the field and it was blindingly bright. The back and forth middle portion of the game began. It was a punch for punch affair. And by punch, I mean both TDs and picks. Was not the cleanest game for our esteemed QBs, with Dachs throwing 4 interceptions and Pray tossing 3. In the midst of the picks, Dachs went to Tabak like Purdy to Kittle in the left corner of the endzone. But, in the end, after a Storm TD – putting him one behind TD Leader Zinn who is out again tomorrow – it was 3-2 Colors with 10 minutes left and Dachs with the ball. As broken down on Praymakers, Dachs made his second underthrow of the day over Jordan and Jordan left the ground to get this one, giving Dark a pulse. On the next play, with Pray running 70 yards down the sideline and Singer turned into Miley Cyrus. Lead-blocking like a wrecking ball. This got Dark down to the 4. Screen out to Prime and Prime battles his way in. A bit of controversy on this one as Dax wound up with Primes flag as both of them were in the end zone, but it could not be determined if the flag was pulled before Prime had three balls in. There wasn’t enough evidence to overturn the non-call, so that was the game tie-er. With time expired we went college and it was Singer time once again. Pray to Singer gives Dark the lead for good as Dachs’ drive stalled. A strong game, but the win goes to the QB that made one fewer mistake. And that’s football sometimes. Jewball to Singer for the sparkling comeback. He does the big stat plays with the big plays that don’t show up on in the box score. Jump on his back and you will have a lot of Ws. Welcome back, brother.
Game 2 was equally tight, with a comeback in store as well. All aboard the Perla train! As White was given team Dark and MK, Rook, Tom, Spira, DK, and Jordan to help him get his much coveted Ws. But in his way is a man who may not be as celebrated or trendy, but brings it every time he is on the field. And by “It” I mean unpredictability. Will it be picks and drops or pure and precise magic. Daveo was Late Man Standing so Yaron “9 Yard Line” Markfeld took ball first and proceeded to start the game just as Dachs did – by throwing a pick to Jordan. But Jordan decided to decline the gift and handed the ball back to its intended recipient Waldo. With the drive kept alive, Jordan kept getting beat, biting on a Yaron run and getting beat over the top by Waldo. Rook started at safety and also got beat early. The result, a bullet to Yaron over the middle and a TD for the Godfather of Jewball. As he does quite well, Perla calmed the situation and began a methodical drive. White Goodman does everything methodical. Riding mostly Rook’s speed and shiftiness, Perla directed Rook to run along the sideline! The advice was sound and contributed to Rook having a 134 yard day and a score. Perla did not complete a pass over 12 yards the entire day. But it didn’t matter. A W is a W and Perla was doing enough to give his team that win. Including rising up along with Kut on a jump ball and coming down with a pick. In addition, he threw two TDs to Tom and a one to Jordan that Jordan slid for and brought in an inch off the turf. 4 scores is usually enough. But on this day it wasn’t. It’s a cliché, but Yaron’s Colors team just wanted it more. Waldo, Whiskey, Storm, Kut, Daveo, and Rabin wanted it more. They played with fire and aggression – blocking down field, pressuring Perla, and pulling flags. Dark was missing flags and getting pushed around. Dark had a second half 4-2 lead, but Yaron and Colors kept coming. TD to Daveo. Bam! TD to Whiskey! Smash! TD to Storm. Stat! It’s Yaron with  the win and the Jewball, as he rallies his squad to victory -throwing 5 TDs to 5 different receivers. Very special day for our man in Panama.

2023 began with the kind of weather anomaly that no longer surprises us. I’ll admit it scares me. Like 50 degrees and sunshine for a League Week 4 at the dawn of the New Year. It was BOP v. Top Guns at 8am followed by Lionhearts v. Roll Tide. This was our first League week of rematches. In League Week 1, Top Guns were coming in high and mighty off the draft, with Feit appearing to have stolen first round talent in each of the first four rounds. They ended up losing to BOP, despite being fully loaded. BOP put up 4 scores to TG’s 2 and the shine was immediately off TG. The rematch was important to both teams. BOP was embracing the full return of Pray (he had played QB only in the prior League Game), but were without Goldberg and MK – each scoring threats and defensive stalwarts. It was certainly an opportunity for Prime, Steveo, Tabak, and Vegh, and especially the Playmaka to shine. Top Guns was looking to get back in the win column and back to .500, coming off a beatdown by the Roll Tide last time out. There was reason for hope. Munch was back in and Mighty was able to stick around for the whole game. However, the no. 1 overall pick was still sidelined with his ankle injury (Epilogue: Singer was back on the field Tuesday night and looked like he is officially back). It looked to be all Top Guns in the early going. The defense was holding, anchored by a Dobs/Salem rush and Munch in the middle. Pray, due to his rehabbing status, and good pressure,  could not break off on his signature runs, and Top Guns was generally doing a good job swarming the receivers. Feit was moving the ball relatively well. As the team is constructed, he is loaded with weapons who can get open – the question is will he find and put the ball on them. And he was. He began the day with some chunk yard runs, but eventually returned to form as a throwing QB and found his guys. The middle of the field was his for the taking and Mighty, Jack, and Jordan were doing their jobs (sorry, Dobs). On their second possession of the game, a drive resulted in a score. A really pretty timing pattern to Jordan in the front of the endzone – the ball thrown on a dime to Jordan spinning to find it waiting for him. Stat hater Mighty secured the extra point and it was 7-0 Top Guns. More of the same ensued with BOP’’s drives ending pointless and TG finding ways to move the ball. Soon enough, Feit lofted one up to Jack who was blanketed by Steveo, but you can only do much against a major height and wingspan advantage. Perfect ball from Feit to take advantage of that, er, advantage and with a Mighty extra point…..it’s 14-0 Top Guns. All is right in the Top Gun world as the first half comes to a close.
I honestly don’t remember how he scored, but early in the second half, Birds of Prime made an appearance and Nova’s dad put up points. I’m assuming it was some sort of nasty catch and run with Prime stiff arming everyone into submission. With  the extra point missed, BOP was back in the game, but Top Guns were still well in control. That is until things went out of control. As we have seen this week in the night League in games of even more significance to their team’s fate…..picks kill. Inexplicable picks hurt. Inexplicable picks that turn into P6’s are devastating.
Steve had been embarrassed by Jack earlier. Steveo has no ego, but a lot of pride. And in big spot, he came up huge. Feit did his job. He delivered the ball to Jack in the middle of the field. Right in the chest. Jack has very good hands, but has been taken to task before about his toughness. Just looked like Steveo out-toughed him on this pass. Steveo knocks a ball free that Jack was trying to secure and it floats up in the air. Pray had been racing in from safety because Pray is not one to stand around watching. And his aggressiveness was rewarded with a ball that floated directly into his hands. I don’t think he even broke stride. Just took it like he knew it was coming and never looked back. Like a bolt of lightning streaking across the sky carrying a football and his team’s dreams into the endzone. With an extra point missed, BOP was down 2, 14-12. Top Guns didn’t hand their heads exactly, but doubt had to be creeping in. Luckily, Feit did an excellent job of regrouping the team and orchestrated a very productive drive. Mighty fought for a first down by catching a ball in a ton of traffic. And Daveo, who had been having a hell of a day on defense, was brought in for offense and immediately made an impact. He picked up a lot of yards for TG on that critical drive and eventually capped it with a sweet TD pass from Feit. Top Guns was back in charge with ten minutes to go. Feit had put up three scores and 3 extra points. With the defense Top Guns has, that should have been enough. But then Tabak happened. Tabak started off a little slow. For his first trick he simply got behind Jordan who was fooled by the QB roll out and run. Pray does not run. He lofts it to Tabak, who was lead nicely and continued the route…..and  there was a late TD for BOP. For his second trick, he streaked across the back of the endzone and caught a bullet of a pass over Jordan right in front of him with arms raised and tipping the ball, full extension reaching up and toe tapping to keep it in. That was the extra point. Holding on to a two point lead and five minutes left, Top Guns had an opportunity to ice the game on offense – as they were getting last possession. Solo and Kut (who was hobbled early on but gritting through it) went into attack mode and it was clear to BOP that something special was happening. The Top Guns offense sputtered to a standstill in their last two possessions. It was going to be up to the defense. With Pray needing to lead his team the full length of the field to take the extremely late lead, he went to work. On the first or second play of the possession, Pray rolled out to his right. Once again, the defense respects the sideline run and focuses on that. And once again…..Tabak is behind the defense. But unlike with his prior TD, which was a 30 yard lofted pass, Pray unloads a katyusha rocket to Stella – coming off the week his daughter was born – and he is tracking this missile in full sprint. The ball comes in. He lays out his hands and makes the connection. There is no one there to stop him. BOP takes the lead. For his final trick, Tabak cuts to the middle of the endzone and bodies everyone up to battle for a pass in the crease and lays down the full smack of dominance. It was the game winner. A tremendous game. Jewball obviously to Stella for the most memorable of New Year’s Day performances.
I will end this recap with the Mighty call stuff. The game was the game and it should not be effected by any controversy. It was heartbreaking loss for one team. A soaring win for another. But this was not a controversial game.
I was shellshocked after Game 1. I probably would have filmed. I probably would have drank more beer. I probably would have stayed. Instead, I did not film. I left early, covered in beer, sticky and stinking. What I did see through the haze of fumes rising from the fallout of Game 1, was Dachs absolutely kicking Yaron’s ass. As he kicked Top Gun’s ass the prior League Game. Now, what the last two games have in common are 1.) Roll Tide shows up and kicks ass. 2.) Their opponents have a lot of talent out. I say this: That’s called good drafting. Dachs drafted talent that stayed healthy and shows up. It’s part of sports. I believe they are the best team, but even if they were not – what always matters is who shows up. You can’t win games on paper. Welcome to my Top Guns world. That said, Roll Tide just might be unstoppable. I know Dax dropped a couple early, but that certainly never mattered. Yaron had nada. Dachs had Zinn. And Waldo making one hand catches (btw, shout out to Waldo who is always good for an old school post TD football spike – a Jewball rarity). And the box score says Dax put up 2 more. The defense is crazy. Oppen Legs is crazy. It’s just an excellent excellent team. If anyone beats them and gets to Doma, round of drinks on me. Dachs gets the Jewball for leading the charge.
Okay, although I feel like much of the steam is lost following the initial drama combined with TBI and some references on the chat…I’ll keep it succinct.
Mighty is Mighty because he is Mighty. Since the day he came to Jewball, he has shown me and us things that were never dreamed of. He was a superstar in a pedestrian game. He found a home with us and he really does love me and us. And that’s one hundred mutual. That will never change. I’d literally take a bullet for him. He is Mighty because he doesn’t listen to bureaucrats like me. He is Mighty because he has a problem with authority. He is Mighty because you aren’t gonna tell him what he can’t do. He is Mighty because Fuck the System. He is Mighty because he always open and just him the damn ball. So….that’s what I’m up against. I sent him a message once upon a time, trying to get across what I tried to get across grotesquely on the field last week and more eloquently in my statement to TBI. I re-sent that message on Sunday afternoon. But…again….if Mighty was gonna concede….he wouldn’t be Mighty. And we need him to be Mighty. So….again….that’s what I’m up against.
Everything I’m about to say is not a chiddush. It’s in long messages to the chat. It’s been discussed. I found them before I wrote this. So, this isn’t me manipulating the story. This is me reminding. This is me reiterating. This is me encouraging behavioral changes based on established rules.
If Mighty was pushed down by someone on route to get Pray on that throw to Tabak, there were only two viable options for him:
1.)     Make sure everyone around you knows you have a call immediately, so the play is stopped dead in its tracks. Once upon a time, I made a rule (that no one cares about) regarding pulling your flag and waving it and all that. No one does that. Fine. But the point remains and the message is there for your review. It applies exactly to this situation. If anyone cares enough to review it, PM me and I will send it to you. We aren’t calling back long completed plays because someone claims they called something before or during the play. That doesn’t mean we are saying they are lying about making the call or lying about the penalty. We are saying that if you want a long completed play called back, you better have been screaming about it immediately. If screaming is not for you, great – don’t make the call. I know Mighty made a point about Tabak earlier in the game and his push off penalty call. That’s a much shorter play (time-frame-wise) than the bomb to Tabak, but it was my impression that Tabak was screaming right away. It seemed to me he knew a penalty happened but didn’t know the name of it, so he was just screaming that something happened. It was loud, clear, and toch k’day dibur. We respected it. Again, I respect Mighty and believe that he said something and that something happened, BUT….we can’t have these long impactful plays happen to completion and only then find out that someone made a call way back before the ball was thrown. It’s just bad for Jewball. It’s a bad look. And to Feit and Mighty…I say…I could be wrong… and perhaps respecting things such as this would make Jewball better. I just don’t agree with that. Give me 2 more seasons of my madness, and then the new regime can fix what I’ve broken.

But now….let’s get to the best option – for most of us, the only option – this is Option 2:

2.)     Realize that the call is weak and inconsequential to the play itself and for the good of Jewball stay quiet, compliment Pray on the sick throw, Tabak on the crazy day, BOP for the crazy comeback, and get back in the huddle with determination to win the game on offense.
That’s it – those are the two options on a play like in a game like ours. I am not just speaking to Mighty here. I know the kind of guys we have. I know the above represents the Jewball sentiment. Join us. 

Week 12 Recap
Not all Bowl Games are created equal. I would argue that the Turkey and Jesus Bowls are here to reconnect us to the game’s purest essence. To bring us back to the schoolyards where we first fell in love with the sport. The upcoming 2023 Bowl is here to remind us of its inevitable mortality. Of it being bound to the calendar and the strictures of time. That no year lasts forever. No season lasts forever. No player. Everything advances. We are all barreling toward some expiration date. Whether we actively perceive it or not – we are always on the clock.
I say this not to depress us at this most festive time of the year. The complete opposite. I say this to inspire us. How fortunate we are to be here and now and together. Think always about what we have built. From the party in Oceanside to Week 12 to the Jesus Bowl to Wednesday Night Lights to 2 days of football this weekend. It’s a lot – and we’d all welcome more. Simple message: Appreciate it with your body, heart, and soul.
Before week 12, I sent out the teams and Rabin saw the teams – he wasn’t QBing – and he messaged me that he would sit out. He had a Chanukah party the night before – was gonna be absolutely frigid at 8am Sunday morning – and y’know….he’s 45 and was it worth it to come out to play WR? So I swapped him with Stats. Once that was done, I messaged him: Listen, we are at an age where we are not gonna be the first, second, or 3rd option. It’s crazy and annoying….but is where we are. If we think coming out is worth it only if we are the main attraction….we are never gonna come out. Our time has passed. Now we just enjoy hanging on when all the other guys our age are sleeping late after their holiday parties. Don’t give in to that voice. Always better to be on the field being ignored than not being on the field.
He wrote back: You’re right. Get me back in.
But it was too late.
Too late.
And that’s really what I’m getting at.
Living before it’s too late. Jewballing before it’s too late. Most importantly: Jewballing to the best of your ability before it’s too late.
This brings me to a big story from Week 12 – for me. I know we try to promote and celebrate and honor the history of our League and all that. I mean, I would guess for newer players – it’s a lot of talk. A lot of propaganda. Dachs is the QB now. He’s lighting up the field now. He doesn’t care that Marino was doing it ten years ago. Or Katzenstien 20 years ago. Zinn doesn’t care about what Yakir once did. Oppen doesn’t care about what B-sh once did. What matters is what is happening NOW. I get it. BUT Jewball is different. Because we don’t just talk about the past. The past is always present. That’s what I’ve seen. No one is more past than Rabin – and he was out there Wednesday night. Yakir played this year. B-sh hosted our party. Klink of the Golden Age got a baby gift as did Stella of the Dark Ages. BD hates Pray.
And in Week 12 of this 1st Year of the Enlightenment, after almost twenty years out of the Sunday game, Avi Spira played a real Jewball game. The past is the present. More to come, brother.
I’ve exhausted the appreciation angle. Let’s talk tachlis. It is a time of New Year’s resolutions and there is no resolution more abused than the resolution to get healthy and fit. But, let’s abuse it some more. Everything we want to do together here is premised on football. I admit, I’ve been a little grumpy lately on the chat. And if I dig down deep and find the root – it’s because – everything else is nice and cute – but when the chat and the extracurriculars start to feel primary and the football starts to feel secondary, it bothers me. When the injuries start piling up – it bothers me. When the football isn’t as good as it should be – it bothers me. And we can’t compensate for that with a party, a podcast, a chat storm, a baby gift, or wings. I get grumpy when it starts to feel like the football is taking a backseat. Maybe that’s just in my head. Just feels very noisy. I don’t want Jewball to become too noisy. This is my fault. I’m the commissioner. If the  noise to football ratio is out of kilter – that’s on me. We either need more football or less noise. Because I feel like the noise is distracting us from the primary purpose of Jewball. To get our asses on the field and challenge ourselves in the game of football. So, as the Jewball year turns to 2023, I urge us all to look inward and work on our football selves. Work on our noise-levels. Work on our fitness goals so that we can be on the field for a long time. So the past can be the present and the present can be the future.
Week 12 began with a request to confirm. Are we really playing tomorrow? There was even a poll. The Dachs bros were looking at the temperature dropping to below freezing and were not having it. Are we really doing this? For once, the chat was stoic. Everyone knew the Daxes were embarrassing themselves and no one wanted to touch it. Goldberg knew from experience and told them to just show up and play. And everyone did. Granted, Stats was late. He does come in from Brooklyn though, so I’ll give him a p- No, I won’t. Stats, you need to come on time. They say that coming on time and warming up prevents drops. Pray once told me that. Not sure if it’s true. I did get you your donuts, though.
It was Pray v. Dachs in the early game and the parking lot gate was locked due to it being Christmas. Thank the Jewball Gods the field was still accessible. Not for us, but for the dudes in red and green playing on the grass blasting Bon Jovi alongside a folding table set with Jack Daniels and a grill. They were awesome. That’s pure.
Yeah, it was damn cold Sunday morning, but the sun eventually peeked over the horizon and bodies started moving – and it becomes about the football again. No one ever regrets coming out (except Kill on Monday) and the mental edge you have for the rest of the day and week is priceless. Turned out the aforementioned cold-weather-weary trio of Dachs, Dax, and Goldberg went OFF in Week 12. Dachs seemed completely unaffected by the weather and was throwing dazzling passes all over the place. This man is the best QB in Jewball right now. Dax mmay have reluctantly shown up to his Bar Mitzvah, but once he did he leined, I mean played so beautifully. The guy did exactly what needs to be done in the freezing games. That is…RADIATE ENERGY. BRING THE HEAT. He did that. And Goldberg. Fucking Goldberg! Fucking Evan Goldberg! The face you want to punch. The voice you want to punch. The personality you want to punch. He has no business being this good at football. Talk about someone who has challenged themselves and came out on the other side of that crucible, just better. The guy was OUT for rain. OUT for cold. And one day he said to himself – I don’t want that to be me anymore. And it’s not him anymore. I filmed some of his exploits. He had 3 TDs and a one handed, well defended, falling down sideline catch that was beyond belief. I mean, Zinn makes those catches. Shuie makes those catches. Goldberg is supposed to be complaining about pass interference when the throw was to the complete opposite side of the field and no one is even near him. How did this guy become a stiff-arming, play-making, power ranking behemoth! Thank you for exemplifying what we want from every Jewballer, Goldberg. Limited noise. Maximum football. Jewball to you.
I’m making it seem like it was a one-sided game. It wasn’t exactly. The final was 6-5, but Pray scored 2 very late (and I think one of them even after the game was over). Zinn put up 2 just by walking on the field. But in a game where even Zinn was dropping passes, it is safe to say that Pray has become Yaron. Guys just not catching his balls. His WRs left points on the field. That is except for my man, PJs. PJs who recently made the move from BOP to Lionhearts, showed why he and Pray are very often connected in the minds of Jewballers. PJs career as a receiver was in many ways resuscitated because of Pray. Pray finds PJs. Pray trusts PJs. And PJs does not let Pray down. When no one was doing Pray any favors last Sunday, PJS kept him in the game with catch and runs that defied reason. Extremely proud of the effort PJs put in on Sunday. Good hands. Good elusive speed after the catch. And he’s becoming a very effective pass rusher. PJs gets an L on Sunday, but I think it’s a game he’s been waiting for for a long time. Way to show us what a comeback looks like.
Game 2 deserves better than I’m about to give it because…..I’m hungry. It was an excellent battle between Yaron and Perla. The randomizer nailed this one. Rook, Storm, Jordan, MK, Kut, and Rabin with Yaron. Prime, DK, E, Ross, Pray, and Tom with Perla. I recall Yaron going up 2 early and perhaps a month ago Perla’s team would have sunk their heads and given in. But we are amidst full swing White Goodman Mania here in Jewball and his teams stick with him. As Perla told him team after the early deficit: I earned this body, and I built this temple with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little can-do attitude… and yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman. Now, Let’s do it.
Right after Jack said that “there is no way he passes to me here,” Perla hit Jack for the first of his 3 TDs on the day. I feel like Perla is the guy that just lives to defy your expectations. If I wrote in the recap that Perla is a very good quarterback, but he has trouble flying, he would drop out of the sky and land on the field the next Sunday morning, look at me with a smirk, and say “He has trouble flying…” then casually take off his parka.
White did bring his team back. Taking advantage of some major confusion by Yaron’s defense – likely due to Yaron having a tendency to be confusing. No one should ever have to ask what a defensive jet sweep is. I’ll fast forward to the very end where we have a tie game and Yaron has final possession before OT. On 4th and 23 he throws cross the field to Jordan to pull out the desperately needed 1st down. MK picked up the next first down by lowering his shoulder into Prime. And eventually it was The Rook in the endzone. On this 1st Day of Christmas The Rook gave to me 3 TDs and a partridge in a pear tree. He gets a Jewball for that. Before we say to all a good night…..
NEW RULE!
The first team to have all seven players present on the field and ready to go will get to take ball last. There is always someone late or a little late. Well, that person now takes away last licks from his team. If every player is ready to go on time – the usual rule then…flip a coin or just decide all friendly. But there is now officially a penalty for the player who comes latest.
Happy New Year, Jewball.

The irony is that the Greeks represented enlightenment, which was very attractive to the Jews. It still is. Logic, reason, aesthetic beauty. Who could argue with that. The godliness in man is apparent. It’s seductive. It’s empowering. Faith is hard. Checking our ego is hard. Giving ourselves over to a higher power is hard. This was the battle of Chanukah beyond the battle on the field. Jewball faces that battle this weekend. With the back to back Maccabowl and Jesus Bowl in brutal conditions. Logic, reason, and the love of our physical bodies tells us to stay inside. But this is Jewball. We are built on faith. We believe that there is a higher calling. We do not do the sensible thing and give in to the pressures of an “enlightened” society. We do what’s difficult. What’s crazy.  Because we know better.

Week 11 featured good classic non League football. Both games were one sided, but it was clean, argument-free football, with players just putting in the work. I arrived to a tie game just in time to see a Rook pick of Dachs followed by a smokin hot TD pass from Yaron to Goldberg. Smokin hot Yaron was the theme of that game. And smokin hot Goldberg was the theme of the day. I filmed much of the game and it was close for a while. Think Storm on offense defending a Stats pick (welcome back Stats!) then tipping it to himself for a TD made it 3-2….but that was the last score Dachs would put up. The Rookie QB had his least effective day as Jewball QB and Yaron had one of his supremely on days where he not only poses for the cameras but thrills the crowd. He piled on a bit with Zinn doing Zinn shit. Taking the ball behind the line with the run pass option and being extremely dangerous at both. Although Yaron could get the Jewball, you know it’s Goldberg.

Game 2 was White Goodman’s Purple Cobras v. Pray. This game took place before the Jets tanked their season, btw. What is interesting about Perla is that he backs up his talk. He says winning is all that matters. He plays like it. He rallies like it. And his team buys in. Pray jumped out to a lead, scoring two TDs with Goldberg and one with Jordan. It was 3-2 Pray and it really looked like Perla would not be able to compete due to his limited range. Not that Ernie was having his best game, but he went down with an injury early and the complexion of the game changed. Rook joined Pray. Perla stopped cheering his team on from the sidelines on defense and joined the fray. Almost immediately, DK tied up the game with a block that turned into a P6.
The game was then decided on the line. DK and Salem v. Sam and Whiskey. Yes, one line is better than other, BUT this is no place for excuses. This is a place to challenge yourself and push yourself to get better and better. Stronger and more agile and more of a threat. And if you aren’t doing that or trying to do that, you are failing yourself and failing Jewball. This is what Goldberg was rightly enraged about last Sunday. Pray’s team failed themselves in Week 11. We couldn’t stop the screens and runs and slants and the simple but reliable offense Perla was running. DK caught 2 TDs and Prime had a run for the ages. It was Prime’s run that put the dagger in his BFF Pray, but it was DK doing everything to assure his team the win. Jewball to DK for an incredible performance.

Want to once again express my awe and gratitude. Wednesday was a continuance of the miracles and light of recent years. We are blessed. See you all at the Maccabowl tomorrow. Dress warm. I’ll bring the coffee and donuts.

Only because Jewball has mutated and spread its tentacles onto the edges of Tuesday nights did Week 10 of this season feel even remotely normal. Before we go further…..Week 10 : ( How are you here so fast? This season feels so new and truly as if its still trying to find its footing, and yet….we begin the 2nd half this week. Half our memories already in the books. Half our stats. Half our stories. The coolest thing about Jewball is that the games becomes blurs fairly quickly – it’s the people and the relationships that endure. Not only endure, but manage to become foundational anchors of our lives. So, while this season seems to (so far) be ill-defined, somewhat chaotic, and still needing its moments for the ages…..then think about the people. Was there Jewball before Zinn was scooting up to the field? Before Oppen Legs? Before Dachs to Dax? I don’t know…..those things feel as pre-destined as anything else And feel as epic as anything else. And they are certainly born only of  this season. Something to think about.
Back to Week 10 itself. As I was saying, while we under-the-radar added a new field to our Jewball pantheon (we played in Greis before, but pre-season and on the grass), it felt like a home game for many of our players who either have been there Tuesday nights to play or to watch. So let’s not miss an opportunity to recognize our blessings. Shehecheyanu v’kimanu v’higiyanu l’zman ha’zeh. We have added a field to our bio. The means by which we got there left something to be desired. Yaron put in the work speaking to Dom. Dom put in the work speaking to Reginald Whitmore Greis III, RWG3 spoke to Kenny who was supposed to unlock the gates at 8am. The plan was perfect! Except Kenny had gone out the night before with Solo. They both had at least 5 drinks. And while Solo could not get up for work the next day, Kenny did get up – just with a fifteen minute delay. That delay had us delayed. Had Mighty doing donuts in the parking lot. And Kut eating donuts in the parking lot. Had a mass of Jewballers congregated and revved up to go for a League week, descending on the field together k’ish echad b’lev echad. That unity did not last long.
The League Week peaked before the game. Our sheer numbers walking onto the empty field on a perfect football Sunday. Guys proudly wearing their team colors. Stretching, catching up, catching, setting up. Mighty screaming “Let’s go” because he had to leave at 9 for a Chumash Play and it was 8:20. The clouds were pregnant with rain and the field was pregnant with possibilities. Could Top Guns minus Singer and Munch even slow the roll of the Roll Tide? Could Yaron not cheat and ruin the BOP v. Lionhearts game? The answer to both questions was a resounding NO.
Roll Tide is a great team. A great team. They remind me of the old MVP teams that played Jewball to practice for the League. Meaning, they were playing Jewball but they weren’t Jewballers. They were mercenaries undercover with us. Now, did some of them become die-hard Jewballers? Of course. You won’t find guys who bleed Jewball lavender more than Snow and Snowpup, but in their time – they were not committed to our game. Roll Tide is. Roll Tide are OUR GUYS! And how cool is that? We have the guys that can win in the League! And they would rather win a Jewball championship than a League championship! Again – let’s take a second here. Let’s take a second and process this. Let’s process this Rabin and Kut and Oren and Steveo and all the guys who very rightly felt second (or third) class for a decade plus….. Shehecheyanu v’kimanu v’higiyanu l’zman ha’zeh!
Before the very last play which Mighty stuck around for, it was 6-0 Roll Tide and Feit had the ball for TG. With Mighty, TG kept it close on defense. On that final play before Mighty ran off, Feit threw a P6 to Rook. The game went off the rails after that. We all knew it would. TG would have needed to have a healthy lead when Mighty left to have a chance. RT is too high octane to not score multiple TDs on an undermanned defense. And so they did. The final was an embarrassing 31-0. Dachs ran 2 in, Dax caught one leaping about 4 feet…I’m sure Zinn put up points…It was a blur of a beatdown. When I dropped off the cookies by Dachs a week ago…he smiled, took them, and said “we are gonna beat your butts.” He knew it. I kinda knew it. But you always hope your team steps up and pulls off the Any Given Sunday miracle. We are going into Chanukah. The weak can beat the strong. The few can beat the many. You just need a miracle. Well, there was no miracle for TG on Sunday. The TG defense could not keep up with the RT offense. But what of the TG offense? A few seasons ago we had a What’s Wrong with Pray era when the former MVP could not win a game. Feit is a fierce competitor and student of the game. There were weapons there for TG. Even with the short handed team, there is no excuse to put up zero points. Unless TG can figure out it’s offense, this is going to be a long, extremely disappointing season for the No. 1 team on draft night. But the season is far from over. We all remember 193 from season one. A winless team that went to the championship. And all it took was hard work, believing in yourself, and coming together as team when the chips were down and everything was on the line. Just kidding! All it took was Yaron cheating! So, let’s get to BOP v. LH.
There came a point in the RT TG game where – at least for me – I started peaking over at the other game. My game had become a $#**show and, despite my QB valiantly trying to motivate our squad to stay focused and in it (I love that trait, btw), my mind was wandering. The only thing that kept me focused on our game was the prospects of violence. Otherwise, I was trying to get a sense of the other game. My sense was – BOP and LH were locked in intense combat. You could just feel the waves of energy emanating from their half of the field. The intensity was palpable. It looked like a great game. I saw people doing great things. Steveo, Vegh, DK, Storm….I spotted some great football plays. I was jealous. But then my game mercifully ended and I got to wander over and speak to guys on the sidelines. I learned there was nothing to be a jealous of. The “better” game was ten times the $#**show of my game. E wanted out. Yaron’s team looked embarrassed to be there. Kut and Tabak were having seizures. People were making inexplicably bad calls….seemingly on purpose and out of spite…and were being encouraged to do so by their teammates. Yaron had the glazed over look of a man in freefall, resigned to a horrible fate, and having no idea how to turn that around. Pray was completely misya-aish as well. No one wanted to pull the plug. No one knew how to end their own misery. Everyone knew this was a game that needed to end and be fixed in the postmortem. And so…..that is where we are. The game ended in a tie. The game ended and the chat handled it’s business. Here is my commissioner’s take – even though I’ve written on this topic many times before – and it seems to change nada. It changes nada because the same people don’t change. And until people actually change – these are just words. It’s the same people who say “we need better rules,” “we need clearer rules,” “we need more rules,” or even “we need refs.” All not true. Arguers will argue no matter what. Complainers will complain no matter what. Conspiracy theorists will conspiracy theorize no matter what. Chronic victims will cry victimization no matter what. So….it’s not about anything….but….YOU! It’s what you do. How you react. How you behave. How much dignity and pride you do or do not have. How much you want to win and in what way you want to win. How you handle a call made by someone on you or a call you think you can make on someone.
The one thing that maybe got lost in the rhetoric above is this line: How much you want to win and in what way you want to win. This is really everything. If you win a game, but you know you lied about a call to get there….is that really something you feel good about? Or that you ruined the integrity of the game to get there…does it still feel like a win? I can’t enjoy wins where I played badly! I can’t imagine enjoying a win where I got there by either purposely committing a non-called penalty or by making a call that I didn’t really need to make or believe in….and then yelling and screaming about it like a spoiled child! Guys! Win in a way you can be proud of! Lose in a way you can be proud of! Leagues aren’t a mess. Jewball isn’t a mess. Some of us are a mess! As soon as we clean up our mess, the games and experience improves exponentially. Play the game the right way. If you got beat…..you got beat! If you missed a flag….you missed a flag! If you worked your ass off for an almost sack…..your worked your ass off for an almost sack! If you gave up a 1st down by an inch….you gave up a first down by an inch! And so on and so on and so on. No one will respect your calls if you don’t respect yourself.
Jewball on the week goes to Ernie. While everyone on Roll Tide played butt-beatingly well, from my perspective, it was Ernie snuffing out every single opportunity TG had to make it an interesting game. He seemed to have pulled every flag in a big spot. Guy can ball.
Half the season behind us. Half the season in front of us. Let’s finish strong and write some amazing stories together