WEEK 2
LHS

8am

GAME 1

Dark

Bron – QB
BK
Zada
Dobs
The Rook
Daxxy
Scharf

Colors

Dachs – QB
Waldo
Kut
Vegh
Beast
Jack
Mighty

Game 2

Dark

Pray – QB
DK
Dax
Daveo
Whiskey
E
Blitz

Colors

Rabin – QB
Fox
Oppen
Storm
Kid
Tom
Ice Man

945

Dark

Bron – QB
Rabin
Storm
Kut
DK
Tom
Sting

Colors

Perla – QB
Pray
The Rook
Dobs
Beast
Oppen
MK

WEEK 1
8am – Game 1

Colors

MVP – QB
Pray
Waldo
Steveo
Bert
Mighty
Oppen

Dark

Bron – QB
Ross
Dax
Whiskey
Beast
Danny
Kut

8am – Game 2

Colors

Dachs – QB
Sam
Stella
Daxy
Jordan
Fox
Zada

Dark

Gronk – QB
Zinn
BK
Legs
Goldberg/Rook – Defense
Vegh
Spira

945

Colors

Perla – QB
Beast
Zinn
DK
Sting
Tom
Zada

Dark

Pray – QB
Rook
Kut
Daveo
Yonio
Oppen
Dobs

The incredible winter season came to its conclusion on 3/22/24 where LH defeated the Ball Tuggers 7-6. This capped a year where Zinn, Oppen and Stats swept the championships, winning Vets Rooks finale, the Jewball league and now Croton. Congrats Jewballers!!

Congratulations to Roll Tide on a DOMINANT season unlike any other. This is a special team and arguably one of the most skilled team Jewball has ever put together, dominating every team in the league this season en route to a 26-6 finals win over BOP.

Whether one game was better than another is a matter of opinion. Some people like violence. Others prefer laughs. Many swear by the back and forth contest, while a contingent live for the rout. However, there are games that preeminently stand out. The details may blur over time, but you won’t find anyone who questions the impact and intensity of the game. The Rooks semi-finals of 2023 – aka Sophomores v. Freshmen – aka Smores Freshies – was such a game. It was objectively – as in factually – as in not a  matter of opinion – the greatest assemblage of Jewball players facing off in a meaningful game EH-VER. Sometimes that’s not enough. Sometimes the finest ingredients thrown into the blazing fire of an on-field cauldron does not yield the gourmet dish the patrons expected. In this case, the dish was worthy of 3 Michelin stars. Not only did it deliver a heavyweight match with evenly distributed haymakers. Not only did it go down to the wire. It went beyond the wire. It expanded and reached the very edges of Jewball reality. It stretched our formative material and fabric to the breaking point. It caused friction and fraying and the bursting of twine and cables resulting in an eruption of rubber pellets. It burned the motherf-ing house down.
While the Vets were doing their Vets slog across the way to see who (spoiler alert) would get their creaky, sprained, and strained butts whipped by the Rooks in the finals, the Rookie game had an electricity that you don’t even attempt to explain or describe. You just say thank you. You look at it from a distance (or perhaps even from within the twirling grandiosity of its midst) and – with a twinge of jealousy if you are on the outside – behold its sheer reverberating magnitude. You reaffirm all your mantras, codes, and principles. You realize with transcendent clarity that THIS is why we do it. You don’t dare speak its name. You just hope to incidentally harness its energy. Carry it forth in a form that manages to fuel and spark something….something unknown and unexpected that is to come – of equal or greater magnitude.
Before we get to the game itself, a warranted ode to the Smores who arrived with the freshest of looks. An ensemble so clean and dapper that perhaps it fulfilled The Oracle’s tafkid in this life (someone check on him):
Verily, how glorious was the appearancee of the Smores, when they came forth from the parking lot, and donned their crimson garments.

Even as the expanded canopy of Salem’s backyard man-cave, was the countenance of Pray.

As the lightning that proceeds from the splendor of Storm, was the countenance of Pray.

As the beautiful blue stripes which adorn the garment of Dobs, was the countenance of Pray.

As the appearance of the flashing red eyes in the cybernetic skull of Legs, was the countenance of Pray.

As the majesty with which Solo stealthily stalked the Rooks, was the countenance of Pray.

As the gleaming amber in the midst of Whiskey’s bottle, was the countenance of Pray.

As the gang green diadem put on the forehead of Feit, was the countenance of Pray.

As the amiable tenderness depicted on the face of Irv, was the countenance of Pray.

As the smoothness of Jack leaping for the rock, was the countenance of Pray.

As E who sat in concealment, to supplicate the presence of the Boz, was the countenance of Pray.

As the archangel DK glowers on the plane of the goal, was the countenance of Pray.

It was this adversary which the brazen Freshies faced. None of them counted amongst us for more than two seasons. None of them having known of Jewball before a Draft, a Chanukah Party,  or TBI. All of them loaded with confidence and a resolve to vociferously announce their arrival.  To proclaim that the era of the Rookies has begun. The age of Dachs who throws left but is always right. The age of Dax, who hugs you like a chiller but cuts you like a killer. The age of Zinn, who scintillates like none before him and is prepared to rewrite all the record books. The age of Oppen, who rushes forth with a fierceness that emanates from the very depths of his being. Add to this those who joined mid-season like Stats and Perla. Add to this our phenomenal 2021 Class (guys who I feel like I’ve known forever) and it’s hard not to think it’s a Rookie’s world and we are just living in it. For now. Things change.
I wish I could give you a blow for blow account of this game (relax, Logan). From across the way I spied Pray and Dach just stone-cold slinging it. Like I said, it was a title fight between titans. I can’t tell you the order, but I can tell you the stats. 1 rushing TD for each QB.  3 Scores for Zinn. 1 score apiece for Storm, DK, and Solo. I know there was some controversial calls. What else is new? I know it was a tie when the clock ran out and it was too late for college OT. What else is new? I’m proud that we didn’t keep playing. Didn’t force people to stay. Didn’t bring in replacements from other teams. Didn’t have anyone leave in an ambulance. The teams walked off the field and regrouped for another day.
That day came three weeks later. Last Sunday – after Week 20 and the League semis – Week 19 was completed. It was the same drag out grudge match that was left incomplete in the regular season. Back and forth stops. Just a pure clash of talent and passion. The Sophomores did score first with about 10 minutes left in the OT. Pray to Legs crossing over the middle. But it was called back by Dax who thought he had the sack. Call was respected. On the next drive – on a 4th and goal from the 20, Dachs finds Rook in the back corner of the endzone. Beautiful catch by Rook. Magnificent throw by Dachs. Freshies take the lead. And they held it. Pray had a chance to tie, but his receivers were not up to the challenge. I’m going on and on here with the superlatives but Zinn said it best on Week 19 Sunday. It was (perhaps) the best football game anyone has ever played in under the Jewball banner. I have one more Recap to write in the coming weeks, but I’ll allow myself to reflect quickly how proud I am to call both the Sophomores and the Freshmen Jewball Rookies. We are doing something so right. BH. Captain of the Freshies….3 scores and being a 21 year old leader and believer in what we are trying to do here. Shows up to everything. Brings positive energy to everything. We – all of us – are so happy you are here, Roy. Jewball to you.
And this is the point I will end with. I know the Sophomores felt robbed. Rightly so. They worked their asses off and they looked really good doing it. I would argue they were the better team (which is a compliment to the Freshmen for beating them). It always sucks to lose. I’m sure they wanted one more game and to be given the chance to wipe the floor with Yaron and his (modified) Juniors. BUT – as we discussed when Zinn questioned the need to continue the Week 19 game – we have our traditions. Each year – for 17 years – as often as we can – we crown a team winner of Vets Rooks (last year we had a tie and a Rook win…so Rooks get the edge). The Rooks won this year. The Rooks destroyed this year. It’s kind of hard to digest what I’m about to say – but it didn’t really matter which Rook team beat the Vets. The Sophomores and Freshmen (in this moment in time – and it is very much subject to change) are one. This is our greatest virtue. I see on the chat sometimes we forget it. Yes, we have Leagues. Yes, we have Vets Rooks. Competition is great. And for good competition, you need division. You need tribalism. But permeating through that division and tribalism – as paradoxical as this will sound – is a oneness. Tapping into that delicate nuance lies our secret.
Which brings me finally to what was actually the best game of the season. It was last Thursday night at Greis Park. Jewball v. Gumbas. Personally, I think Gumbas are an awesome football team. I respect the hell out of the way they play, the way they carry themselves. They play super hard. They are super nice and friendly. I just think they are excellent. And I’ve watched our teams struggle mightily against them over the past few years. Last Thursday night, with Rook and Zada hanging with me on the sidelines, I watched a Jewball spectacle that was truly like nothing I’ve ever witnessed. Yes, we won. Yes, Yaron did that thing where he plays like a virtuoso and doesn’t flush it all away with confounding decisions. Yes, Prime battled through pain like a warrior. And Zinn went full superstar. Stats tracked guys down who were blazing fast. Oppen pulled flags like a man possessed. O. Pray. Daveo….all did incredible, clutch things. I almost wish it was a game of ours because it is recap-worthy. BUT…I bring it up because I watched it less than 3 days before the Vets Rooks Championship. I watched a team playing together against a superior opponent, and just shocking them with an otherworldly chemistry and an almost tangible commitment to team. I got you. I will pick you up. I will not let you down. They were one. Two Seniors, Two Juniors, a Sophomore, and two Freshies. One.

A PJ’s perspective….
It’s hard to write the week 20 recap. To be honest I tried avoided doing this for many reasons. Time, TBI, work, and life. But the real reason is that another season is in the books. Jordan will cover postseason and end of the year cap. But week 20 marks the end of football that is played as a brotherhood. Stats might count but battling with your Jewball brothers without leagues is what counts the most. It’s like the Marvin Gaye song lyrics
“Whats happening brother?”Can’t find no work, can’t find no job, my friend
Money is tighter than it’s ever been
Say, man, I just don’t understand
What’s going on across this land
Ah, what’s happening, brother?
Ay, what’s happening? What’s happening my man? Woo
Are they still gettin’ down where we used to go and dance?
Will our ball club win the pennant?
Do you think they have a chance?
And tell me, friend, how in the world have you been?
Tell me what’s out and I want to know what’s in
What’s the deal man, what’s happening
What’s happening, brother?

No matter what our lives look like and no matter what is happening in our lives… we know what’s happening on Sunday mornings….we are battling with our brothers…

Week 20 game 1 featured Yaron vs Dachs. This was more of a Vets vs Rooks tuneup than a playoff tuneup to be honest for both QB’s. The other big headline was TD leader, could Storm catch Zinn. Yaron lines up with The Rook, Dax, Storm, Dobs, Steve-O, and Bert. On the other side Dachs lines up with Pray, Zinn, Prime, Zada, Tom, and PJ’s. This was a back and forth game. The Rook had a deep TD to get Yaron on board early. Dachs responded by hitting Zada for a TD. Zinn had an uncharacteristically off game by dropping what would’ve been a TD but Zada bailed him out. Zinn and Storm would both get a TD in this one as well. Both QB’s would trade TD’s and picks but with the game in reach Dachs down by a score but had a chance to tie by hitting a wide open PJ’s but completely missed him and The Rook gets the pick. Yaron would end up hitting Dobs to take a 5-3 win and ice the game. The Rook had 2 TD’s and big time pick to win the Jewball for game 1. Zinn more than likely wrapped up his TD leader title but did allow Storm a very small window to get back in it by dropping out of game 2.

Game 2 would feature Pray vs Perla. Pray lines up with Prime, Spira, Tom, Oppen, Dobs, and PJ’s against Perla, Yaron, Dave-O, Storm, KUT, Sting, and The Rook. This matchup headline was all about the sack leader title. Could Kut catch Oppen. The game starts the not way Perla designed it, quick slant over the middle and Pray picks it off and returns it for a TD. 1-0 to start the game. Perla would respond by hitting The Rook for a TD. Pray would March down the field by hitting a wide open Spira for a big reception and go right back to him for a TD. 2-1 Pray. Perla would answer everytime by hitting Sting to tie it up at 2. Pray would kill the middle of the defense by hitting Tom and PJ’s for like 10 reception each. Drive down and hit prime for a score. Perla throws one to Storm and we’re tied at 3. Pray decided to go back to Spira for another long TD. It’s 4-3. Perla would keep responding hitting Dave-O for a nice TD catch and run. After more back and forth. It’s finally 6-6. Pray last possession and it’s 4th and goal for the game. Pray throws it to the back corner of the endzone over Sting to hit Prime, 3 balls in and the game winner. Miraculous catch and awesome game. Oppen would best Kut 2-1 in the sack matchup. Oppen wins the sack leader. Storm had a solid game but his 2 TD’s on the day were not enough. Zinn is the TD leader. But most importantly Prime, our bother won the Jewball for the final game of the 2022-23 season. Jordan will get us mushy for the end of the year cap. But I wanted to say that I love you all and enjoy every minute of this stuff. Let’s do this again next year and the year after. Get some rest and get inspired for more football.

Maybe it’s because he is actually related to the Commish, but it was the Big O who first saw Jewball as family. For him, it was never just a group of random weekend warriors playing a game on Sunday mornings. He saw the group as brothers. He treated the games as battles. He viewed the time as sacred. It caught on. All these years later, he still brings the most passion. He still shows up even when he absolutely cannot – even in work clothes. No one has stripped on the sidelines more often than O. He still loves everyone who goes by the title Jewballer. After all these years, as if he was waiting for the right moment to fully express his love – he found a way.
As this is the first season of The Enlightenment – an era marked by the full recognition of our bond – Oren has seized the moment and taken on a project which symbolizes our status as friends like family. Because to Oren, not only are Jewballers themselves family, but the relationship extends beyond the players. In this era, whenever a Jewballer brings new life into the world, Oren makes sure the mom knows that her husband is out there Sunday mornings competing, but with a crew that sees him as essential and valuable and respected. Whether it is delivered to the hospital or the home, Oren has, with pure zealous joy, made sure a package arrives expressing the Jewball sentiments in such a special moment. Flowers. Balloons. Stuffed animals. Tangible products of this world assembled in artistic fashion to convey a well wish. Of course they do not conform to those limits. They represent a limitless commitment, dedication, and loyalty. They represent an infinite appreciation and gratitude. They represent a full and sincere heart. They say they are from Jewball – and they are – but they represent the generous nature and awesome soul of our Man of the Year.

Congratulations to all poll nominees and winners!! What an incredible conclusion to the first year of the Enlightenment! Our MVP however is still TBD.. 😉

Offensive Player of the Year: Storm

Defensive Player of the Year: Oppen

Rookie of the Year: Zinn

Most Improved Player: Rook

Comeback Player of the Year: Pray

What got lost in the Zinnsurrection following Vets Rooks as we attempted to hold the line where free speech and settling down meet – was that no one said Vets Rooks isn’t important. In fact, it was Zinn – our Roy Wonder – who came off the field after VR and felt compelled to type that it was the greatest football game many of us have ever played in. Now, let’s not pretend VR is always a great game. They have been exceptional over the past bunch of years. It helps to have really talented Vets and really talented Rooks. Who care about what we are building here. Does the talent and the caring make VR special? Or does VR make the talent and caring special? You can argue either way. How often is a Super Bowl game, with all its preparation, hype, and hope – just a total boring dud? That’s the beauty of sport. When it works – it’s pure magic.
Vets Rooks 2023 worked. It was magic. But let’s get to the games in a minute. Let’s first re-establish what nobody questioned. Vets Rooks was first played in 2006. That’s ten years after Rabin joined Jewball. Five years after I arrived. Two years after we moved the game from Queens to the 5 Towns. One year after B-sh lost his virginity. So it wasn’t some institution from Jewball time immemorial. However, with the exception of Rabin, B-sh, and I who played on that first Vets team, and Klink and BD (and Ike) who played on that first Rooks team….for everyone else here, when they were born into Jewball…..Vets Rooks was there waiting for them. At the end of every season it was announced and played. When times were good, it was cause for much excitement. Icing on the Jewball cake. When times were bad, it was an excuse to get a game in as the weather started to get better, even though the season itself was spottily played at best. Like Singer always says….There is something about Vets Rooks. It is ingrained in our memories as some kind of pre-cognitive familiar. To paraphrase from the Song of Songs, it is stamped like an emblem on our hearts. It is our security blanket by way of tapestry. Klink and Prime said it quite simply and eloquently – it means something to us. Listen, we live in a time where there are myriad attempts to “make something happen.” A special month. A banner day. An epic event. The hope is always by the producers that it catches on. Goes viral. And then catches on to the point where it grows and proliferates and becomes something much bigger than the idea. Vets Rooks was originally just a way to spice up the end of a pretty spicy season. 2006 was prime time Golden Age. Woodmere Middle was ours. The soccer guys were still slithering in the primeval sludge. The sun was shining on us. And the BD Klink crew seemed to be a limitless fount of kids who loved football and vodka. So the game was played. Oldish vs. High. Vets got smoked.  And the next year it was played again. And then again in 2008. To my shock and chagrin – Klink and BD got older. They were now Vets. And just like that me and those Golden Agers were were playing against Zez and PJs and O and the rest of the Renaissance. And I remember many of those games. They stand out. They pop. Why? Because it was working. Vets Rooks was becoming something more than the kernel of an idea. It was something that we tried to make happen….and it was in actuality happening. It was in fact expanding and taking on a life of its own. And it became a right of passage. And it become our holiday. It became a holy day. Took on minhagim and segulas and all sorts of mystical elements. Because in my mind….Klink is a Rook forever, like Zez, like Mighty, and Steveo, PJs, and Daveo and Kut etc. They just got here. They just came down all doofy and backwards and confused. And we are the Vets trying to crush them. But who is “we”? I look around in my daze of pride and content and it’s a blur. There is fog surrounding everyone on the field. Because the faces are for a moment unrecognizable. Is that Joey and Marino and Hands trying to figure out a way to slow down the newbies? Of course it is. But it can’t be. Because….they retired, right? No. Maybe. Wait. “We” is…..how is that possible….Klink, Zez, Mighty, Steveo, PJs…..These are not rookies? These are not some kids I just met with their young legs and big egos? These are my closest friends for a decade? And we are weathered. And relatively old. And we have injuries that kinda don’t go away. But we are still together. Because of Jewball. Because of Vet Rooks. And we look across the field and the faces metamorphose while at the same time coming into focus. What was once our faces are now all these new stunning, glowing faces…
They are the faces of our future but also somehow of our past. Dachs is a rookie, but there was no Jewball before Dachs. Solo is a sophomore, but there was no Jewball before Solo. Beast is a Junior but there was no Jewball before Beast. The seniors have seen it all happen right in front of their eyes and they understand exactly what I’m talking about; we feel a connection to something much much larger than ourselves – and we know there was Jewball well before us. This is Vets Rooks. It is bracha to be a Rook. It is a bigger bracha to be a Vet. It is the biggest bracha to be a Vet for a long long time. May we all stick with each other and this game and it all represents  – for life.
As Sophomores v. Freshmen – presumably a game for the ages – is still without resolution, we will save that recap for another day.
The Seniors (aka the real Vets) were excited about this one. A chance to play together – guys who have been battling together for at least 10 years. So much history. So much love. Really, like brothers. You don’t last 10 years in any league without being really committed and picking up a lot of  tricks. The Juniors (yes, our fellow Vets) were a formidable adversary, lead by Yaron at QB, and featuring Beast, MK, Zada, Tom, Prime, Sam and Gronk. Logan, Goldberg and Vegh were eligible, but could not make it. Tabak also bowed out to be a good friend to Vegh and make the bris (Mazal Tov, again). With Tabak’s exit – Gronk stepped in (not sure if he would have jumped in anyway), but by the old Vets and the new…..Gronk was a revelation that day. Combined with the non-trashy Yaron, the Seniors needed to really play a near perfect game. Rabin – the Vets of Vets – needed to be sharp. Instead, he wasn’t terrible. But not much more than that.
The game started really promisingly for the Vets. First play of the game is a trick play. Screen to Gronk who throws a dime back to Yaron. Daveo runs interference and Yaron bobbles the thing away into Steveo’s arms. Steveo – the hero of many Vets Rooks past – gets to the 1. Seniors are poised to stomp on the Juniors. And just fail, fail, fail, fail. An ominous sign. Does not bode well.
Prime scored first. A classic Prime score. Short out to the right side. A failure by 3 Vets to pull the flag….and there he is in end zone. 1-0 Juniors. The next score was Gronk on another silly Senior moment. Brilliant pass down the left hash with nice coverage by Steveo, BUT…the pass is completed and Steveo doesn’t know where the endzone is….so Gronk walks in. Ouch. 2-0 Juniors.
Seniors didn’t break. Jordan tips a ball to Mighty for the pick. Rabin to Jordan – an old reliable combination – was on display again to pick up some big yards and the scoring was capped by Mighty and Singer. The game was tied at the half. But the second half opened with a back breaker. An errant throw picked by Zada (3 on the day – Rabin threw 4 of em over all) turned into a P6. The Seniors would  ever grab a lead. Worse….Yaron topped his earlier throw to Gronk by firing another heat-seeker into the Matt Stafford doppelganger for a TD and the lead was stretched to 2.
With 15 minutes left, Rabin and Jordan hooked up for their 1,672nd TD together, with Singer lead blocking and Jordan continuing his Teflon day. 4-3 with 10 minutes left. The defense locked in and Rabin had a final chance to put the game into OT. From the 1. That’s called symmetry. And it would prove true. Yaron leaps and bats down a pass meant for Singer. Seniors fail. Juniors move on to represent the Vets in the championship. Go Juniors!!!
Yaron was excellent, but without Gronk the Seniors win that game. No one intimidates Rabin like Gronk Gronk does to Rabin’s head what Rabin does to other people’s asses. He gets deep in there. Rabin was just scared all day. Plus the two scores. Now show up for the championship and show these Rooks how we do.
Here ends Week 19 Recap part 1.

The categories below are made to give respect to those who we believe have earned the highest Jewball achievements of the season. While some polls are limited to choices, some have write in ballots. Please consider what these players do on the field, what they do for their teams, the stats they accumulate, and how they impact the game each time they walk on the gridiron. Please note that the overall MVP award is a distinction given by our commissioner during the season recap (although he does consider the vote). Please only vote once. Make every vote count!!