Another Jewball season in the books.
There is nothing like starting a season. With its rabid anticipation and warm returns to family and familiarity. There is nothing like being in the heart of the season. Settling into the routine of week in and out action and comradery and feeling like it will be this way forever. There is nothing like the tail-end of a season. Trying to hold on and make it last even as the melancholy sets in – knowing that nothing lasts beyond its expiration date. And, finally, there is nothing like a season being over. A chance to look back, appreciate what was – seeing the full picture. Gaining the perspective of near omnipotence – what unfolded, how it unfolded, maybe even sometimes understanding why. Who came into our lives. Who disappeared. What storylines dominated then dissipated. What stuck. What happened that was predictable. What happened that was entirely unexpected. Were we blessed or cursed this past year? Did we live up to those opening day expectations? Do we feel more or less connected to the game and our brothers who play it? Have our loyalties deepened? Do we see ourselves playing onward? If so – for how long?
These are all post-season contemplations. And, although there are no games to be played – and that stings – there is a poetry in processing a season as a whole.
We have always (pretty much) had the recaps. Going back fifteen years. I have been blessed to write most of them. I have been blessed to have some of you write some of them. I understand the recaps are integral to Jewball. May I one day regain the creativity and humor and spirit I once had to write them as I did back in the Golden Age. May I one day meet Singer’s lofty expectations! Yes, we once had a website, but it was nothing compared to what we have now. So, when I say there is a beauty in seeing the season as a whole – that is conceptual. We look back now and see a season in our vivid memories – fresh and vibrant. We tell the tales of 2019-2020. The midseason wave of Gronk. The opening day in Lynbrook with Flash. Snow and Jesus returning. Beast scoring on and off the field. We can’t believe there was Jewball before Dobs, Storm, Pray, Mo….doesn’t it seem like they have always been with us? Maybe they have. Maybe that’s how it works. We are simply tapping into a life force that once was – in another time and dimension – and the game is just drawing us back to that source – connecting those who were always connected, just didn’t know it in this form. Maybe. Sometimes it feels like it.
What I am getting to is our website. Yes, I know….to talk about websites is like talking about something from the Paleolithic Era – like blackberries and two hand touch. No one deems websites cutting edge anymore. They are the opposite. BUT….for our purposes – what we have done with it this season – what it holds for us – its existence is priceless. It represents a vision of that eternal source we spoke of earlier. So, although it seems like a million years ago when it was introduced, it was in fact this season. I thank Yaron once again for all his contributions to our game – and the evolution we have experienced. There has never been a better way to truly behold ALL the majesty of Jewball. Between the old recaps, pictures, bios, and many brilliant features (thank you Kut and Steveo!)…Jewball has a home that can be revisited anytime from anywhere. And, see….I didn’t even mention stats.
But, stats were part of the storyline this season, and so let’s get to Week 20.
Week 20 was a long time coming. Not our fault. If we flashback to Week 19, the season had just come off an epic Vets Rooks battle and was looking to bring another STRONG season in for a landing. Rumors about the virus were circulating. Some people were sick. Gronk was OUT! We were hoping to get Week 20 in. We even had a post Week 20 game planned. The first ever Father-Son Old Timers Day. May we have it in the near future! Vets were talking DOMA. This was early March. Then everything closed (even DOMA!).
I remember that first Sunday without a game. Yaron and I met up and threw the ball around at Woodmere Middle School with our kids. What would be? The signs were ominous. The news was hazy, but storm clouds were gathering. The virus was about to take over our lives.
Rabin got sick. He got tested. He had it. Beast reported a close friend died. A guy my age in North Woodmere passed away – also a friend. The number of cases and deaths and general terror was just increasing by the day. We all locked ourselves away and went into self-preservation mode. The chat was quiet, but we were still there for each other. As best we could be.
At that time – March turned into April – and I don’t think anyone would have dreamed that we would be writing a season recap this summer. There would have been an asterisk on the season. Marked incomplete. 19 Weeks and 3 Bowl Games. By Dark Age standards….an incredible fete! But since the Revolution (aka last year), less than 20 would be a letdown.
In May, things started to point in a positive direction. Cases down, hospitalizations down. New York was either flattening the curve or the virus was simply moving on after kicking our asses. And so as Long Island began phasing into re-opening, we tested the waters. We played. We came back home. We reunited. For many of us it was the first “social” activity in months. And doesn’t that make sense? Our “lives” were contained and restrained due to the virus – making it impossible to do the things we live for. So when that cracked open window of opportunity presented itself – Jewballers made the decision easy (however reckless : ) We took a chance – but not frivolously as some might argue – we took a chance and got back to doing exactly what we live for. Life without Jewball is not a life!
And although on the field is where we make our living, the end of year return to “normal” was highlighted by DOMA and a gathering of Veterans like has never been seen since Game Night 2010. Thank you Rabin for that shining moment.
In the year 2020, Week 20 was played on Father’s Day, June 21st. There had never before been a Jewball game played in the month of June – naturally. It was over 80 degrees and water breaks were not (really) frowned upon. The early game got underway close to on-time on a shortened field due to soccer (two Jewballers in that game btw – neither of them Legs). It was a very apropos 2020 matchup of Yaron v. Pray. A matchup that really defined our season – like Yaron v. Gronk did last season. As we all know, Prager (aka Pringle aka Pray) made his debut this season – and what a welcome revelation he has been. Really, everything you look for in a Jewballer. From real skills to stone cold commitment to winning demeanor to gamer attitude. May he one day feast amongst the Veterans. He started off the season on fire. He made Yaron his bitch in every way possible way. Yaron would leave the field each week whining and crying and making excuse after excuse. He looked washed up! Done! (Just kidding, Brony – this is called fan service). But he did beat Yaron a lot early on. The arm was strong and accurate. The defense was fierce. Like his mentor, Ivan Drago, Prager was a machine. But, Yaron would not allow himself to be vanquished. Even before the injury that effectively took Prager out of his QB role until Week 20, Yaron got his groove back. Going into Week 20 – without checking – their head to head matchups were close to even.
On this final day of the season, Prager in Colors lined up with Mighty, PJs, Prime, Tom, Asa, and Steven. On the other side of the ball was Yaron in Dark leading Goldberg, Beast, Rabin, Jordan, Daveo, and Mo. The only way to tell the story of this game is to present the Jewball in advance. Beast always has the football mentality. He doesn’t always have the game to match it. You see it in there, but sometimes….I don’t know…maybe the weed affects him….whatever it is – his game is not on the highest level. This past Sunday, he was playing at a level beyond anyone else on the field – from wire to wire. I think there is a reason for it. I think this virus had him thinking. I think there is new clarity in his life. Maybe it’s also the girl. I think he’s on a mission. I think it changed him physically, psychologically, and spiritually. He always preached – but now you see the results – and damn, makes me a believer. Whatever he is doing – it is working. He was dangerous on Sunday. Dangerous fast, dangerous strong, and dangerous focused. Unstoppable is another way to put it. So, in scoring 3 TDs and moving the ball all day – in fighting at the line each play with no one able to match his drive – he gets Jewball. That said, Yaron drives the ball with Beast and punches it in with Goldberg to get the scoring started. 1-0 Dark. Prager then gets pickpocketed by Daveo on the subsequent drive. Staring into Mighty on the short cross from the 5, Daveo reads it and steps right into the route. P6 served up fresher than a salad at QCumbers – Dark goes up 2-0. Adding insult to injury, Prime drops what may have been a TD pass on the next drive. Looks like another hardluck day for Prager. Eventually, though, his main weapons start doing what they do. Mighty and Prime put up points, but Dark had already turned on Beastmode. It actually got started with a spectacular Daveo one-handed diving first down reception. After that momentum reshift, Beast took over. Colors was never able to tie the game or take the lead because Beast was ripping off one big play after another. In the scorching heat, no one could keep up with his engine. With his girl watching, Beast put on a show. 3 scores in a row to give Dark a two TD lead. Asa cut it to one late with a nice over the middle route that Prager exploited with a fine deep ball, but a costly miscue again on a short field did Colors in. Mo P6s his way to a final score of a very successful rookie season and the game ends with Yaron putting his stamp on the momentum of dominance he has held over Pray for many months now.
I would say…the rivalry between Pray and Yaron will continue next year….but…will it? With Gronk being away for most of the season, Prager stepped in to make sure we had competitive games each week, but Week 20 reminded us that we have a very serious contender waiting in the wings. Like the Frog Licker, Feit is for real. Feit is an elite kinda QB who may just demand our full attention. Yes, he needs to be around more. Yes, we need to be able to pencil him in week in and out, but he has the goods. It will definitely be worth exploring our best options for next season at signal caller.
Out of respect for Rabin, I will only say 5 things about Game 2. 1.) Feit won 6-1 in a brilliant performance 2.) Jordan scored the only TD for his team and worked really hard for it 3.) Steven played dehydrated after sleeping under tree and dressed like steroids John Lennon 4.) Beast continued to be a relentless force and 5.) Goldberg, putting up 4 scores, and 2 picks (one of them a P6), stole the Jewball from his quarterback.
This transitions well into our season MVP. Is it Goldberg? No. But the newlywed deserves a ton of credit for being in the conversation. I don’t want to go on and on about someone who is not our MVP, but earlier on the chat I said that I thought Goldberg was soft when he first came on the scene, but – I had said – I was wrong. You know what? I wasn’t wrong! He was soft! He had a chip on his shoulder for sure and he played hard – occasionally showing flashes of the player he has become. But let’s not pretend that we misjudged him. I don’t think we did. I think he gets credit for honing his craft and getting tougher and tougher each week. He does not get Jewball MVP this year, but look out for him in the future.
Beast also doesn’t get the MVP this year, but I think he is the man to beat next year. If the change I see in him and his game sticks – there will be no reckoning with that power.
Which brings us to Yaron. Even Yaron is thinking….Yaron? Yaron was not a finalist, but let’s take a moment to give this man a standing ovation. He is not a finalist….kinda because we take him for granted. The things he does for the love of Jewball are MVP caliber. If you created a commissioner in a lab, it is him. I could retire tomorrow and Jewball would live on without missing a beat. His season was great, but uneven – and other guys had more recognizably next level campaigns. I will say one thing before we get to the final 3. Last year, Yaron won season MVP and it was glaringly obvious that it was his. This year, someone will get it – but it is not as perfect a fit as last year.
Mighty doesn’t care if it’s him, but he does care that I write nice things about him. He knows how much I (and we all) respect his game. He was the first star of Jewball and he still is a star all these years later. That is a guy you always need to account for. His tenacity in Vets Rooks gives me chills to this day. He was so banged up. Could barely walk between plays. Limping and stretching and trying to stomach the pain. But…he lead us. Put the ball in his hands and he feels no pain. I will always picture him that way. And, none of us can argue this fact: With his production, if he played 15 or 16 games, he would run away with the MVP. His numbers are comparable to the two finalists (if not better) every single time he plays. However, it is The Revolution. Any other year – where we struggled to get games and organizing was unreliable and the league was on shaky ground – 13 games played would have been respectable. But, everything takes place in its time. And when you have guys like Zada and Prime who play virtually every single week (and every single game) – how can they not have the edge?
Jewball MVP is not just about the numbers, it is about the commitment to Jewball. All of our finalists have it (along with premiere game changing talent), but Zada and Prime brought their A game every time and most often.
I’ll be honest – at this point it may be a toss-up. I don’t want to disrespect either player by making it seem like the choice is obvious. My other problem being that it’s almost a cliché by now if I screw over Zada. Zada, who did not get a single Jewball this season (I may have robbed him once or twice – not on purpose!)….is a finalist for the Jewball MVP – so that goes to show you that it’s a big picture award. Like Goldberg, I for sure underestimated him. He is tough as nails, has incredible instincts, and cares about playing exceptional football every play. He also has the best attitude. Finally, he cleaned my hat and returned it to me even though I watched him bleed into it from his nose for twenty minutes straight – to the point where the blood was pooled in it like a purple swamp. And he thought I wanted it back?!
But, what about Prime? Played more Jewball than anyone else. Brings it each week. The right attitude. A joy. A joy for the game, for being out there – with the guys. A joy to be around. Takes pride in being a Jewballer. I’ll never forget – one week we are walking off the field after a solid game. Me, Prime, and Beast. With all sincerity, Beast and Prime are telling me – Jewball, they say – they’re in it for life. Until they can’t play another game. I’m dragging the bag of gear between the gate and the parking lot. I look at Prime to see if he’s joking. He’s not. He has that look. Kind of wide eyed but intense. He’s in it for life. And what has he done in two seasons other than prove that sentiment. 33 out of 40 games!!! All 3 Bowl Games! And 3 bowls in his car before each game! For real, weed jokes aside – though – the guy is all in. And, like he told me – and meant it – in it for life. What more can a 20 year veteran and 15 year commissioner want from a Jewballer? Prime says it, means it, plays like it, backs it up.
He can’t pass rush like Goldberg. Doesn’t have the stamina of Beast. Not the prestige of Mighty. Or the ball hawk skills of Zada. But he has shown in 2020 that with a flare that never overwhelms his humility, great hands (as long as its not a bullet screen pass), boundless positive energy, and most of all, a palpable commitment to our game – you can win an MVP. Primetime, congratulations on this most high of Jewball honors (no pun intended).
Jewballers, I always write this final part of this final post with tears in my eyes. Sometimes just a glistening. Other times a full on downpour. Why? Because I am so grateful. Really. It’s not that I will miss the game (even though I will). It will be back (sooner than ever before in fact). I am so grateful that another season comes and goes and I am still here to write to you. Not just as a commissioner, but as one you. That I still am able to compete. It’s a blessing that I do not ever take for granted. None of us should. To that end, we have less than 3 months until the pre-season kicks off. Usually, I need to tell you all to be cognizant of your health and physical fitness for 5 months. Usually I have to worry about the indulgences of Purim, Pesach, and Shavuot. Now….okay….July 4th bbqs are coming up – but a much shorter off season. My message is the same. Value your time in life when you can play this game. Eddie has given us all hope! Careers can be extended into our 50s! But it takes work. It takes self-control. It takes discipline. It takes prioritizing the game over a lot of other things we enjoy. Let’s return to the game in the best shape of our lives. Whatever Beast is doing – we should do that.
The past few months it felt like reality was collapsing. We get distracted by the media and all we hear about is sick people and scared people. All we see is society being torn apart by politics and hate between races and religions. It shakes you up. It makes you think – is that the real world? It’s so convincing! But…that’s hype. That’s the world of people who have nothing else to do but scroll on their phones and live in a bubble of their own design.
Jewball is real. When I step on to a field with Jewballers…that is sacred. That is clarity. On the field, I only see healthy, fearless people. I see people of all colors, races, religions, ages, and maybe even sexual orientation – who LOVE each other. Who are brothers. For life.
I run into Jewballers ALL. THE. TIME. And we talk Jewball. They say they are coming back. I say great. We both know they won’t. But it’s pure love. And it always will be.
God bless Jewball.
See you in September.
Author: admin
DOMA Night
Finally after the long hibernation the Vets got to celebrate their victory over the Rooks. Congrats you guys.. you deserved this!!!
Jewball Awards Poll
~disclaimer: This poll is intended for entertainment only. All final decisions will be made by the almighty commish
Week 20 Sign-ups open!
Finally, after the reign of terror aka COVID-19, Jewball is doing the responsible thing and FINISHING THIS SEASON! Week 20 signups are open, and in store are stats leaders, MVP candidates, grudge matches, and much more. Looks like this will be a double header, as many are interested. Teams are being sorted out and will be posted shortly.
WELCOME BACK EVERYONE.
As always, be responsible and safe, and if you are not feeling well, STAY HOME and don’t “rambo” it and play.
Carwash Chronicles
by Steve-O and the Jewballers
Mighty looked past his pile of cash and over to his wife. He asked her “We need a good way to clean this money, any ideas?” in the background they heard Walter White with the same question coming from the television. “I got it” says Mighty “ and I know just the place” After getting all the schools closed down, the first part of his plan was underway. LHS was freed up and now all he needed were the staff to run his front. “Where can I find a bunch of people that don’t work all day that want to hang out and get sudsy?” the obvious answer only came a few days later.
This began the Jewball Carwash. With Jordan as his lawyer they figured out how to launder the money through the carwash, they just needed someone who would overthink it and not see what was obvious to them. Yaron was hired to manage the carwash and so the craziness began.
In a huddle formation Yaron starts drawing up instructions for his staff. “Prime go inside and clean the interior. Rabin, get to the backfield and clean the trunk and inspect the muffler. B-sh clean the grill. Kut, back seats, and hold them back, we need some time. And where is BD?”
“He’s parking far away, something about not wanting to get hit” said Solo who was spread out over the windshield. “ Get off of there” yelled Yaron “go get some more towels.” On his way out Solo yelled “On it, I’ll be back soon.”
Gronk meanwhile was leading his crew to clean cars on the other side. They just finished cleaning Tammy’s muddy car, a prius, when another rolled in. “same car, same car” yelled Gronk, “Wilmer, get rid of Tammy and where is Beast, I thought he was going to fix that window he broke today?” Dave-O explained that Beast thought they were in Bay Park, He showed him the map that Beast had sent him, “That’s just a picture of Long Island… whatever” Goldberg finished up the tires and asked Gronk to pass him the soap. Gronk threw it to him but it flew right out of his hands. Right before the soap fell, in a flash of pink, Mighty was seen catching the soap.
“ I come in to check on the car wash, what the hell is going on there is a line of cars and you barely got anything done.” Yaron replied “i know we were supposed to start at 8 AM, I opened at 7:30 and most of the staff has not even arrived yet. We are getting some work done though, Singer is 80% done washing that car, and we are buffing out that dent Logan caused when he ran into the car.” Mighty took a look around. He saw a smoke filled car with Prime cracking up as Kut was pounding Knishes in the back, Vegh was complaining about all the noise, Rabin was elbow deep in a muffler, what was going on?
“Gronk, Can you figure out what’s going on?” Mighty asked. Gronk pointed out that most of his staff just talked about washing cars, but never came to wash. “They are all talk” he said. Mighty asked what was going on with the van that came in for the full detail. “We took out the middle bench” Gronk explained, “and now PJs is on it learning, he said some need to learn and others need to work”
Just then Beast shows up and starts setting up chairs. “Get to work” orders Mighty “go get your uniform from inside and bring me my pink thong while your in there” Kut yells from the car “You’re*”. Mighty screams and the horns start honking. Munch is stopping cars from cutting the line. Vegh can’t take it and goes over to confront Mighty. Whack! Logan took out Vegh. “Got him boss, No one hits you but me!” Logan says proudly as he steps over Vegh. “Yo Courtney caught that whole thing on camera” Beasts says. “Why didn’t you change, where’s my pink thong” Mighty asked loudly trying to talk over the laughing from Prime and Kut in the car next to them. “Violent J locked us out, the doors were shut, we came too late” Beast replied, “now if you don’t mind me I gotta practice my drills. “You suck” Yaron called out, but Beast was too faded to care.
Jordan shows up a few minutes later. “Mighty, the cops are onto you. You told me you had a clean record” Mighty looked at him confused. “I do have a clean record, the only thing that matters are Ws” Mighty replied. Jordan looked at him in disbelief, “There are stats whether you care about them or not, and you have the most! We’re screwed”
Kut and Prime get out of the car and tell Yaron it’s finished, but they did as good a job as they could without towels. Beast almost hands the customer a receipt, when Yaron screams “Where is SOLO!!!!” they all turn to him and then towards footsteps getting closer. “Oh no, it’s D.A. Zada…”
Week 19 Recap – Vets vs. Rooks
These are dark times. We have canceled games for many reasons over the years. Ice, rain, snow, and –more often than not – a glaring lack of interest in playing. We have never canceled for a pandemic. And that is a possibility for Week 20 of this otherwise sparkling season. Though I am still unsure about our next game, I am damn sure about our last one.
The 2020 version of our annual Vets Rooks royal rumble was unique and memorable in so many ways. Yes, we have recaps of many of them from years past and they all stand out in one way or another, but last Sunday had so much to offer that it just feels like it floats to the top. Let’s start with the players. Talent comes and goes in our league. Talent is also relative. What we maybe once would have deemed a star Jewballer, would be role player now. No, I’m not talking about PJs. He was always destined for the bench. Just kidding! You started this (also, knocking Goldberg out is the highlight of the Teaser vid). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again now – the Golden Age was a ton of fun, but we weren’t very good at football. We were pretty good. Marino had an arm, but otherwise we were just messing around. And it was beautiful. The Renaissance introduced guys like Snow, Mighty, Singer, and some guys who played in competitive games and it was like…WOW….so that’s football too. Huh? And their introduction to our game helped us all evolve. Some people liked the change to a better game – some people saw it as a corruption. I always felt that the key to survival was good football. So far, the formula is working. Which brings me to The Revolution. Which is the present. And Vets Rooks in the Revolution is – though still Vets Rooks and still Jewball – when broken down – just a highly competitive game featuring a ton of talent. I remember the Vets Rooks game when it was The Golden Age crew (Yoni, Joey, Rabin, Doggy, Klink, Ike, BD, Jordan, etc.) against the Renaissance guys (Zez, Mighty, Socks, Elisha, PJs, etc.) I mean…..we got destroyed. It was hardly a game. It was like Ford v. Ferrari, but without the fairytale ending. Was a massacre. For so many years, though I hyped Vets Rooks like The Greatest Showman, and though Rabin and B-sh and BD and most of all Evan always sincerely though we could win, I knew we couldn’t. We were slow. We were delusional. We were a bunch a linemen and Tight Ends trying to play zone coverage against kids. But, I look at last Sunday – where a mix of Silver Age, Renaissance and Dark Age players took on the current batch of Rooks….and what strikes you is, to use an NFL term, the parity. The evolution is noted. The evidence that better football has crept into the DNA of our game is witnessed by the miracle that is the Vets beating the Rooks two years in a row. Once upon a time the Silver Age beat the Golden Age, and that was because the Silver Age were semi-athletic and in their late 20s and the Golden Age were a bunch of stoners in beanies and cargo pants. But since that time – which was around 2006 – the Vets have lost and lost and lost. Last year, in a fierce battle that went down to the wire, the Vets won. It took the game of his life by Steveo, Munch to become an offensive and defensive juggernaut, and finally for Zez to bring his team all the way back of the brink in his patented Zez never-say-die fashion. Then Zez moved to Israel. So, this year, with the Rooks only getting better, Rabin – the Vet of all Vets – was asked to step in at QB and pull of the first repeat in Vets Rooks history.
Besides a virus taking over our feeds and the devastating news that Yaron had to opt out, the week leading up to Vets Rooks could not have gone better. Steveo got us a cameraman. The weather was going to be sensational. The Vets and Rooks were coming out of the woodwork looking to observe our most sacred of holidays. The Vets looked #stacked and the Rooks looked #stacked. It would be a contest that would elicit some trash talk, but none of that would matter come Sunday morning. Like all things Jewball – the matter at hand would be settled on the field over the course of 3 hours – the longest single game in Jewball history.
Vets took ball first and the air quickly flew out of the balloon. With a line of Munch and Kut, and receiving corps of Mighty, Singer, Steveo, and Jordan, Rabin looked a bit unsure of himself and the Vets did not advance. That is not to say that the Rooks defense was anything but formidable. Vegh, Logan, Gronk, Beast, Zada, Goldberg, Storm, Prime, Eddie, Sam….these guys can play – they are tough, aggressive, hungry – they pull flags – they have the winning mentality. But you notice one name missing. A game changing name. Solo. Or as Yaron calls him, Steven. Or when Yaron thinks of him . Solo, the biggest, quickest lineman Jewball has ever seen – someone who could alter the outcome of any game he plays – did not show up. The game went on, but the Rooks of 2020 can always wonder what might have been. As if the stakes were not high enough, Mighty begins the game by reminding everyone that Vets Rooks is no ordinary affair. On that initial fruitless drive, after a fruitless carry and smothering by the Rooks, Mighty turns and takes a swing at Vegh – maybe even connecting. Gronk, enters the fray and knocks Mighty over sending the spry Veteran tumbling backwards. Order is restored and apologies are offered and accepted, but damn….the heat is on.
For the next half hour both teams exhibited their defensive prowess and neither QB really made a great showing. Rabin was Rabin, but not throwing picks which was really helpful. Gronk was a tad off and his receivers dropped a few early ones making matters worse. Close to the end of the first hour, the Vets struck. It took another Mighty altercation to get the Vets jumpstarted. On a Mighty QB option fifteen yards from the 1st down marker, Mighty takes off down the sideline – evades a few defenders using Singer blocks – and then right at the marker, he gets clotheslined by Logan. Logan ‘s real name is Ari (I think). He earned the nickname Logan – much like Mighty – after a game, maybe two. That is a rare occurrence. It was clear from the beginning. He plays with reckless abandon and with the viciousness of the Wolverine. And that is how he went at Mighty in that moment. It’s legitimately dangerous. Yes, part of us loves to watch it. But also – we can’t have it. We all need to go home in one piece. Mighty was hurt and hobbled, but he walked it off. Every time he touched the ball for the rest of the game, he kicked it into gear, but he was not the same. In between plays he was limping. Following the near brawl, Rabin launches one to the middle of the field – where Singer makes his money – and Singer hauls one in to get the Vets within 18 yards of the endzone. In what is assuredly the oldest and most prolific QB/WR combination in Jewball history, Rabin swings one out to Jordan on the wing with Singer blocking. In almost the exact same location Jordan and Singer won the game a week earlier, Jordan flies down the sideline, but this time does not flip the ball back to Singer. He keeps it and bounces into the endzone. Vets up 1-0!
The Vets were able to celebrate for a short while, but the injuries started piling up. Mighty needed a break, then Singer needed a breather. Munch was exhausted as well. That trio was crucial to the Vets’ chances and it was disheartening to see them heading to the sidelines. But, it seemed they would power through and give their Vet brothers whatever they had. Still, with their absence, the Rooks would take advantage. Gronk started the crony fueled drive with a 20 yard strike to a crossing Vegh, followed up with a screen to Prime, and then another 20 yard dash. The big man punched in with Goldberg on the slant and just like that the score was tied. Based on the ease with which the Rooks scored, doubt crept into minds of every Vet, though none spoke of it. Their confidence was still very high. But they knew they needed to answer back and quickly. Even the slightest lead by the Rooks would fuel them and demoralize the Vets. Rabin decided it was a good time to put together his best drive of the game. It starts with 30 yard strike to PJs at midfield, which pumped up the crowd. A play later it is Singer on a wheel route and a perfectly placed ball on the right hash to get the Vets in the redzone. The entirely successful drive is capped by a screen to Mighty with some exquisite blocking by Singer and Steveo sending Rooks flying and dash to the endzone – Mighty scores, Vets take a slim lead of 2-1. And things would only get better for the Vets. With relentless line pursuit from Munch and Kut, Gronk was having an impossible time making plays stick. Every other snap seemed to result in a sack or a forced throw. And finally, one was forced just a bit too much and Singer was there to P6 it and give the Vets what felt like a nice cushion going into halftime. At the half Vets 3-Rooks 1.
Going into the second half, the Vet injuries were piling up. Besides the hobbled Mighty, Singer, and Munch, PJs tweaked something during the epic drive that he started started and even Rabin needed a set on the sidelines. They had a 2 TD lead, but could they hold on? Things did not start off well. On the first drive of the half, Rabin called Jordan’s number on an out and up, but Logan played off from go and did not bite on the fake. Instead he backed up and picked one at the Rookie 15 yard line. Although the Rookie drive stalled, the pick by Logan was a foreshadow of dangers to come. Rabin showed himself a warrior by guiding his team through the second half, but the sharpness that was on display in the first half was gone. He would be asked to manage the game not make critical mistakes. But one came. From the Vets 20, Rabin floats a dangerous pass and Logan is there to intercept and run it right up the gut to bring the Rooks back from the edge. It was the only score of the 3rd quarter, but it was a momentum changer. Going into the final quarter the Vets held on to a slim 3-2 lead.
By the 4th Quarter, Jewballers had been battling for over 2 hours. While exhaustion had not set in and the energy level was high with so much on the line, focus was waning and it lead to a flurry of late scores. It started with perhaps a tactical error by Gronk. With a half hour left and some pressure to make the late run he is famous for, Gronk and the Rooks went for it on a 4th and 7 and did not make it. The turnover gave the Vets a short field and Rabin got exactly what he needed. A simple out to MK and a missed flag by Storm yielded a surprisingly simple TD. After every score on the day being really hard fought, it was amazing to score with some ease. The cushion was back, but it felt like a gift. The fact that MK scored it turned out to be quite apropos, as the Veteran who likes to pass himself off as a Rook would become a lockdown force on defense down the stretch and – even with limited playing time – put himself in the running for Jewball. With two minutes left, Vets 4- Rooks 2.
Gronk was not out of tricks. With the big O showing up in his suit and adding to the already strong Rooks line play, the Rooks needed to change their game plan. They simply were unable to establish a real passing game. They began using the underneath stuff effectively. Dumping balls to Eddie and Beast when the defense was playing back got things going. Now, having to cheat in, the deep stuff returned. One such ball was a sure touchdown, but Tom got in the way just enough to cause Eddie to drop the rock. Another was an sideline gem to Prime that was over Jordan and hugged the line before Singer could get over. Prime reached out beyond the sideline and dragged his feet and hauled it in. Unbelievable Prime Time catch. It surely made his mentor Sam proud. It also lead to a Vegh score with 10 minutes left. Vets were hanging on, but by a thread. Vets 4-Rooks 3.
The ensuing Vet drives showed that Rabin did not have much left in the tank. It was evident that the defense would need to make the 4 scores stand and keep the Rooks off the board for the remaining few minutes of the game. And that’s when a beautiful thing happened. Gronk had the ball at the Vets 10 and his winning streak was on everyone’s mind. I mean, this guy does not seem to lose and he loves the late comeback. The Vets were engaged but weary. Only MK, Kut, and Steveo seemed to be at full power on defense. That left a lot of holes. Gronk starts of the drive as he is apt to do with a cross to Goldberg. A nice cut, a money pass, and a catch. Goldberg picks up a promising 10 yards on first down, but he won’t get anymore, because MK is draped all over him. But, wait….was that a catch or is the ball still moving? It is! MK is all over Goldberg and making sure his arms can’t secure the ball! Goldberg bobbles it once. He bobbles it twice. It is about to fall back into his hands – and here comes Mighty from the opposite side swiping the ball out of the air!!!! One cut! A cut back! A spin move into the endzone!!! Just when the Vets needed it most, a P6! Vets with a two TD lead with only minutes left!!! Vets 5-Rooks 3.
Of course the game was not over. The Vets had almost nothing left, but were feeling good about their chances. Perhaps playing a little loose, it was Eddie – the oldest Rookie of all time – showing the Vets that the game isn’t over until the final buzzer. Pops proceeds to take the ball at the Vet 15, juke Jordan with a move from 1985, and race 63 yards downfield to set the Rooks up for a score. A score that he very shortly punches in! Yikes! It’s final possessions time and Rooks are trailing by a score. The Vets can win it with a TD. The Rooks can tie the score and keep the damn thing going. They get the stop.
Then they march to midfield. 50 more yards and we would go into an overtime that would certainly favor the Rooks. But Munch, Kut, and MK made sure that overtime would not happen. A sack and a batted ball by MK on a 4th and long puts a nail in this one. Vets win! Vets win! Two in a row! Next year they go for the 3peat! Yaron and Gronk’s last Rookie season – should be interesting!
Vets celebrate on the field to cheers of DOH-MA! DOH-MA! DOH-MA! Two days later, the world shuts down. Rabin must know some powerful people.
So, who gets the MVP of this one? Not easy at all. The candidates are: Rabin – the QB. He made a few huge plays that were not basic. If he had relied on screens, sweeps, and handoffs alone, the Vets would not have won. It was that second scoring drive that was so needed when the game was 1-1…and it was all on precision long throws. Singer – He did everything. And he did it like a lion. He scored, he set up scores, he made big yard plays. He brings energy and heart to every moment of every game. Munch – I should give it to him. I really should (which tells you it is not going there). If this was classic MVP, he would probably get it, because although I can’t see what is going on line all game – he was all over Gronk. He gave him not time to think or throw. Munch is our voice of reason. He is our muscle. He is our enforcer. I only wish Solo came down, so Munch would have had the challenge he deserved on a such a huge day. MK – As mentioned before. The late flurry of STATS! A score, forcing a pick, tons of flag grabs, and that final batted ball. He felt like he was everywhere at the end of that game, bailing out the Vets when they needed it most. Which brings us to the man I am giving it to: Mighty – the man who came out swinging from the start. Although stat-wise the game was pedestrian for him, 2 TDs and a pick, but he took two hits early and a few late. He could hardly move. The only that seemed to keep him going was his hunger for the ball. Between plays he was barely holding it together. Once the ball was snapped, he was on fire. And if Rabin gave him the damn ball, it was like being shot with a mixture of cortisone and caffeine. All the Vets showed grit, but I think Mighty showed the most. He got rammed by Gronk, decapitated by the Wolverine, and body slammed by Storm, but he kept on popping up and fighting. He has more fight in him than any Jewballer I have ever seen. In a class of many worthy candidates, he gets the 2020 Vets Rooks Jewball.
See y’all whenever this virus lets up. Week 20 will be played and we will meet again on the field of battle. Stay safe, Jewballers.
Week 20 postponed, and a message from The Oracle
In light of community lockdown, social distancing, and bracing for the crap storm also known as COVID-19, our wise commish has postponed Week 20. This game will be played once normalcy resumes, and we will conclude this wonderfully season in deserved fashion.
The Oracle dropped some lines as well, and they should be taken with caution.
“Good decision to cancel games until further notice. No reason to put players or anyone they come into contact with at risk.
Stay safe…. be smart!“
-The Oracle
Please take care of yourselves and your families. Make smart decisions, follow hygiene and social distancing guidelines. Watch your diets, do your pushups and situps, and be ready to take the field and finish Week 20!! Stay safe everyone. And as Vegh recommended, use the chat to talk about anything you want. We are all here for each other.
Vets-Rooks Video
As we eagerly await the colossal recap that will be the Vets defeating the Rooks, we get a snippet into some of the highlights from this epic game. Amazing job with the pics and cinematography!!
MAZAL TOV MUNCH FAMILY!
Mazal Tov to the Munch family on the bris of Munchkin!! Munckin and Bris will certainly be competing for Jewballs in the years to come.
HAPPY PURIM 2020!!
Amidst all the chaos and confusion of covid, some of the Jewballers were out living it up. Here is some of the fun: