The categories below are made to give respect to those who we believe have earned the highest Jewball achievements of the season. While some polls are limited to choices, some have write in ballots. Please consider what these players do on the field, what they do for their teams, the stats they accumulate, and how they impact the game each time they walk on the gridiron. Please note that the overall MVP award is a distinction given by our commissioner during the season recap (although he does consider the vote). Please only vote once. Make every vote count!! (Note: Most performance categories carry a 10 games played minimum)

Yaron Markfeld	8:43 PM (0 minutes ago)
to me

Vets Rooks Recap
I have previously waxed effusively on the virtues of Vets Rooks. So this recap will be mostly about the plays made or missed on the field. And speaking of missing, let me begin by shouting out those I missed on VR Sunday. Besides my Vets who are long gone from the game and all but forgotten, I wish O was there. I wish Singer showed up. I wish Munch was there. And Prime, and Goldberg, and Gronk. My Jewball heart belongs to the Vets. Not because they are better people or better friends than the Rooks. But because by definition they have been on this island with me the longest. And the more time on the island, the better. As I told them before we lost…we already won.
(I wrote the above about three weeks ago. Now, I write after Week 20, as I pitifully try to recap the ancient past. And I do so out of a sense of obligation. To all you fine people who bring it every week in so many ways. But, I cannot pretend I did not see the post VR Championship episode of TBI, which astutely pointed out that VR has lost its luster. It likely has. I think recaps have also fallen from their once lofty pedestal. Neither because of diminished quality of the product (in my opinion). Both, I believe, because they no longer serve their initial need. VR was instituted to bring electricity and freshness to a long season that was starting to stale. Recaps were meant to make sure that Jewball felt unified and lend it a dignity and import. To make it matter. Well, twenty years later – freshness and electricity are not the issue. In fact, some might argue that VR is starting to BE the end of season staleness. It could be it needs a reboot. Perhaps in All Star Game form. Not sure. Not next year though. Think next year will have juice. Seismic realignment of the classes. Plus we are tied at 3-3 over the VR winners since the Revolution. We need a tie breaker. After that….we can think about changing it up. As for recaps, I’ll keep at it – but – with the chat, TBI, and video, recaps are like waiting for your local TV news at 8pm to break major stories. But, I will persist – if for no  other reason, but not have Yaron and Kut bombarding me with guilt-inducing stickers)
The Vets game – Juniors v. Seniors came down to a returning Vet who both showed up and missed the game. Way before I knew how last week would go, I am on the record (aka TBI) as stating that the player I am most impressed with this season is Snow – the MVP. And subsequent to VR Sunday, Snow’s Crocs beat my Cronies – so this may be coming off as bitter. It isn’t. It’s a recap. It’s what happened. I really wanted the Seniors to win. We had a great shot. Even with Singer opting out (though – for the record – he came out and DID PLAY ONE SNAP! ), the Seniors has enough to beat a Junior team that was without much of their marquee talent. Yet, minutes before the game, the Seniors lost their QB. Snow had a rough night and couldn’t make it. Tabak pulled the same vanishing act for the Juniors, but was replaced by Storm. And he’s not his team’s QB. Rabin’s gonna beat me up for constantly beating him up, but the addition of Snow as QB was supposed to be the big change the Seniors needed. A QB with championship pedigree, who can move the ball with both long and short passes – accuracy, a game plan, and a Veteran’s savviness. But, he couldn’t make it. So Tom stepped in. And immediately did himself a huge favor with a P6 on the first play of the game. Yaron doing Rabin things. Sorry, Bin. But the good times for the Seniors did not last. Tom threw 2 picks in his only 2 sets at QB. The 2nd of which gave Yaron and the Juniors the ball on the Senior 12 yard line. In Jordan’s first official game back from injury, Yaron wisely tested his timing and agility and exposed a weakness. After throwing a screen to Storm, which Jordan managed to blow up, the following play was a fake screen to Storm with Zada over the top. Jordan got caught in the middle and Zada hauled in a pass for a score that tied it up. Around this time Snow showed up. The Seniors were saved! After he warmed up with Singer for a while, the MVP came in. And it just never clicked. The huddles weren’t crisp. The passing game never materialized. The hopes of the Seniors were slowly dashed. A late TD pass to Daveo was not enough. Yaron and the Juniors fashioned more of a stable offense. Every time it seemed like Yaron was in trouble, Spira bailed him out at TE. The Vet of all Vets, playing for the Juniors due to his newbie status in the modern era of Jewball, has proven himself time and again this season as sure handed as ever. Anyone ever see this guy drop a catchable ball? I have memories of this guy going back 25 years. Always the same thing. Easy passes, tough passes, bombs, screens, slants, crosses – if it’s catchable, Spira catches it. He had 2 sacks and the go ahead TD for the Juniors. He picked a bunch of first downs as well and key yards when the Seniors were looking for a crack to sneak through and get back in the game. It never came. Juniors win and Spira gets himself a Jewball.
To begin with, say what you want about VR not being the hottest ticket in 2024, but the hype of Smores Freshies remained. And then seeing Rook and Ernie in Smores Crimson gave this Vet chills. Of course seeing the newly minted Freshies play in their first VR was equally powerful. Sherrif, Ice Man, Mike, Blitz, Daxxy, Fox, BK – damn….thank you God….we are living in an era of Jewball wonderments.
The game started in my favorite way possible. Pray to Dobs and the n Dobs with a juke for the ages and a Smore TD. Let’s Go!! Unfortunately for the Smores, that was the highlight of the day. Dachs doesn’t get the love that Pray gets or the hate that Yaron gets. He sort of just exists in the Jewball solar system as a dark star. A star, but obfuscated in some way. I was able to watch him in the Smores Freshies game and then again this past Sunday in the Dawgs BOP matchup. He is so talented. He does astounding things on a football field. Especially when he’s with his brother, Dax. After the Smores went up 1-0, Dachs threw 3 TD passes – one prettier than the next. The poise and accuracy he displays while avoiding the sack is like nothing Jewball has ever seen. Though he’s been prone to the bad pick this season, he, more often than not, makes up for it with masterful point scoring drives. His TD to Dax over Rook in the corner was a stunner. His game icer to Zinn over the middle – zipping it in to a tight, closing window was perfection. After all this praise, I’m giving the Jewball to Dax for scoring the 2 TDs that made the difference. That TD catch in the corner was so pretty. Hats off also to the Sherrif for making some “classic” Sherrif catches – the kind that look like they have no chance, but then he bumbles, stumbles, secures, and makes the crowd go wow. Think VR was Sherriff’s spotlight game. A lot of people finally saw what he is capable of. Played big in a big game. Smores lose in less heartbreaking fashion than last year, but lose nonetheless.
I was overseas for the VR Finals, but of course wanted the Vets to win. So proud of the Vets as they made this a  game despite truly overwhelming odds. Even though the Rooks were without some major stars from their playoff game, including Sherrif, Fox, and Ice Man, they still had their big 4 of Dachs, Dax, Zinn, and Oppen (next year’s Smores!). And it was enough. If I recall from the updates Pray was providing, the game was tied in the early going. Beast scored for the Vets, Zinn for the Rooks. But, much like 3.  in their prior game, the Freshies only gave up 1 and scored 3. Dachs, once again just so sneaky good, did his thing and scored with Stats and ran 1 in. This time, the QB with as much competitive grit and energy as any Jewballer ever, gets himself a Jewball and goes 2-2 as a Freshie – winning back to back VR Championships along with his unprecedentedly remarkable class. Rookies, I can’t stomach us Vets losing to you arrogant pieces of garbage, but….when I take a breather and a step back…and remove my player helmet and put on my Commish cap…I am completely dumbfounded by your presence. We Vets want to beat you and will beat you – that won’t stop – but we thank you so much for joining us. For making us feel that our commitment to Jewball was worth it. For letting us know why we kept this going for so long. It truly does seem like we everything we built was for this moment. To welcome you here. So welcome, and we’ll get you next year.

As I slowly but surely run out of ways to describe football games in words, I like to believe that by filming, I save myself the requirement to recap. Week 12 was another 3 game affair and I dutifully filmed much of it. And as much as I’d love to refer you to the clips posted for some of the details of these games, this is a recap that needs writing. The Chronicles need to mark this week because we will one day ask ourselves when the Gronk comeback began. And the answer will be that it occurred on the same week that the Feit comeback began.
Game 1A looked really good on paper. Two QBs on a roll going head to head. Gronk v. Pray. At the same time two MVP candidates on the same team – Mighty and Pray – trying to win the game while limiting the stats of the other. And also the biggest challenge of all…PJs trying to avoid a concussion. I’d love to say that things started falling apart for Team Colors the moment Gronk got injured, but in reality – he had thrown three picks and no TDs before tragedy struck. I believe the score was 0-0 when all of a sudden, Gronk was on the floor, eyes closed, holding his leg. He knew. “I feel like I got shot in the ankle” He was doing something he had done a thousand times before. Moving around, buying some times before finding the open receiver. And bang. Shot. Down he goes. There are so many reasons to lament the end of Gronk’s season. After basically missing the entire last season, he came back with just a tad of rust on the field and a lot more centered off of it. The guy was a force to be reckoned with on the chat the past few seasons. Firing missives and provocations with abandon. But, now, he is Oraclesque in his discretion – weighing his words and thoughts. Then the football part of him kicked in. Athletes gonna athlete. He started intimidating QBs, catching Yaron bombs on Tuesday nights, taunting the Kid, and dropping dimes on every single WR at his disposal. He was having a season that could only be described as Gronkian. But sports is a cruel master and there are no free passes. No one is above a season ender. We are all out here dodging bullets. As is the Jewball way, Gronk hobbles over to a bench and spends the rest of the game contemplating his miserable fate. With a torn achilles, the denial stage does not last long. Depression sets in almost immediately. Acceptance soon after. The game goes on, but it was not much of a challenge. A one armed Jordan steps in to replace a QB. Kut tries to throw. Throws a pick. Goldberg tried to throw. Throws 2 picks. Mighty is the beneficiary of all this. Scores 2 and picks 3. PJs catches a TD as well as knee to the head. He nearly had a P6, but was foggy post hit. Pray walks away with the Jewball in the accursed game with 3 thrown, 2 picks, and 1 of em for 6. Gronk….fight!
Gronk had a great excuse for taking the L. Don’t know what Yaron will tell you. He loses to the upstart Invader 2-1 in a game that all who witnessed it dubbed The Daxxy Game. The rookie crooner had 2 sacks and a majestic leaping P6. I missed the fireworks of that play, but every time I looked up to check on that game, I saw E making catches all over the place and DK taking out his sack lunch (birthday boy had 4). But DK and E’s heroics were not enough to get Yaron a W. Who can possibly get a Jewball for the Daxxy Game? Hmmmm….
On a day where a QB goes down, a QB is resurrected. Feit has been having a lowkey strong season. Walked to Pray SZ in the rain. Played sharp in 2 Bowl Games. Got a Jewball in a BOP win. And now, a regular season win over Yaron. JaBron graciously gave Storm a start on the fiery one’s birthday and it went pretty well. Both Feit and Storm went 3 and out to start the game, but on take two, Storm matriculated down the field and fired one in to Yaron at the back of the endzone and took a 1-0 lead. At that point Yaron took over the offense and the team would fail to score for the remainder of the game. And although Feit ran anemic offenses for his League Teams in prior years, he has been a potent offensive force this season. The Determined Dermo has been showing up with the Stat That swagger of old, and dividends are being paid. He throws the TDs (Sherrif, Kut, and Pray), runs one in for a score, and add a pick for extra flavor. Jewball to him? Yes. Is a League Team next?

League Week 3 gamesmanship started days in advance, as two of our teams were scrambling to replace QBs. The QB for the 1-1 Dawgs and 0-2 Cobras were out of commission for pivotal matchups in this very short 6 game season. Dachs was trying to keep the shalom bayis and stayed back (with the exception of a short appearance, leaving the kids in the car in the parking lot like many great men before him), and Perla is down with a bone chip suffered during a PJS flackle (flag grab disguised as tackle). Let the battle for Weider begin. While the potential/hopeful future Jewballer had agreed to come out, the question was who he would play for. It looked at first that he would be throwing for Cobras as his absence was assured, but once Dachs made his decision to sit official, Legs played both the he’s my friend card and the confused card, and Weider was all set to run the offense for the Dawgs. We will get to the Cobras in a bit.
The Dawgs, coming off a loss to BOP, were taking on the 1-1 Crocs, who had beaten the Lionhearts a few weeks earlier at Woodmere Middle. An impressive win, but one they viewed as merely a stepping stone. The Dawgs would be a tough test, with the combined talents of Legs, Mighty, Steveo, O, Blitz, Salem, and Ross. Even without their leader and signal caller – this is a stacked team. But would Weider be able to catch up to Jewball speed after many years away from the game and scrape off the rust in time to deliver his team a victory? To the game:
The answer to the rust question was answered immediately. It was there and needed some scraping. Passes were not reaching their intended targets and Weider’s scrambles were one gear too slow. It was surely a frustrating first few sets for the Dawgs. But it was clear that Weider was a winner and confident and knew that his football faculties would return – the only question was when and would it be too late?
The Crocs were lined up with their formidable squad; MVP under center and a powerhouse of talent lead by Zinn and rounded out by BK, Dobbs, Rook, Sam, Kut, Vegh, and Tom. On their first possession, a well contested ball and drop by the normally sure-handed Dobbs kept both teams off the board early. But after another shaky set with Weider’s timing off, Snow got the ball back and went to the most reliable weapon in Jewball – the jump ball to Zinn. Left sideline 40 yard no doubter – keeping it simple and moving the chains. From the red zone, Ross – who had a big game – made a nice play batting down a TD intended for Zinn, but a play later Snow found BK and the Crocs were on the board.
If Weider wasn’t going to figure things out, it was possible that Crocs could win even with one score. But just then the defense did him a huge favor. It was the Big O with a deflection of a Snow pass and a beautiful diving recovery of the ball before it hit the ground – setting up the Dawgs at their 5 yard line. With that kind of down and distance, Weider came back fully charged and found Ross zipping across the endzone left to right and tied things up.
The celebration was short lived. With Dachs watching from the sideline, the Dawgs’ defense broke down and a blown coverage resulted in a wide open BK who easily took the 25 yard pass to the house as Legs screamed “Who has him?!” Crocs up 2-1 as the first half came to a close.
The second half was about as exciting as Jewball gets. Weider transformed right before our eyes into a QB, and though still not what he soon will be, the passes were crisper – some brilliant – and the QB runs were up to speed. And it helped that Ross was having his best game as a Jewballer. The rookie picked Snow for 6 and tied the game up early in the 2nd half. The second half made it look like Snow was trying to blow the game. The first half momentum was flushed away in a flurry of picks. The MVP was intercepted 5 times on the day and the last one resulted in a drive for the invigorated Weider and Dawgs. A sweet sliding grab running right to left in the corner of the endzone by Blitz to give the Dawgs a 3-2 lead with only minutes left in the game. Dawgs were assured ball last so the odds were stacked against the Crocs to pull this one out. I wish I could say I remember everything about the drive Snow orchestrated. For some reason I think it was catches by Vegh and Dobs. Either way, the drive was capped by a game tying TD by the Rook! Dawgs now with the ball and a chance to win it in regulation. Weider marched his team down the field confidently. Everything had gone their way in the second half and it was now time to indelibly stamp this game as an all time great comeback. Straight out of a TBI dream sequence, the game would end on an out to Mighty on the right side. He would make one man miss and skitter his way in to the endzone to seal the game and his legend. The Year of the Rat would continue. But what happened was…Mighty runs into a brick wall at the 1. And you can’t spell brick without BK. BK stands Mighty up at the 1 and the game goes on. It goes on to the tune of another TD for the Rook in nearly the same spot as his game tying TD five minutes earlier. Dawgs get another chance to win the thing, but after some positive yards, Weider fires a gorgeous 26 yard pass at a crossing Blitz, who proceeds to do what Storm calls the dart board and the ball bounces off his chest and into the air. And then into the waiting arms of Rook. Game over. Crocs win! Jewball in a game like this is a tough win. Because it’s an important game and there were so many huge plays. In the end, none were bigger than the one that actually prevented the loss. That is BK stopping Mighty at the 1. That’s the ball game, right there. Mighty scores there nine out of ten times. Rook comes very close with the late game heroics, but in the end – it’s BK with the 2 early scores to give Crocs the cushion they desperately needed, and making the play of the game to keep his team alive.
Our other games I did not watch. Klink was manning the Cronies v. Lionhearts game and Samet was handling Cobras v. BOP. Thank you, gentlemen, both. Much appreciated. Brief recaps of those two affairs:
At LHS, it was the 1-1 Cronies against the 1-1 Lionhearts, and Lionhearts jumped out first with a bomb TD to Jack. My heart sunk as I saw that from across the way, thinking my team would be having a rough day. But they didn’t. A few minutes later I see a bomb TD to storm and a few minutes after that a bomb TD to Tommy. I see the Cronies celebrating and barking. We bark. You can shut them up by beating them. Good luck. Every time I look up I see Oppen smacking down a pass. I see Daxxy with a huge smile. Cronies are fine. Yaron put up some points in Yaron time, but it was all Cronies day. My QB throws 3 TDs (Tommy, PJs, and Storm), has 3 picks (2 of em for 6), and racks up another Jewball.
Brady did not make it to Jewball. The man most excited about Bardy did not make it out Sunday morning. Solo was late Sherrif was later. Cobras still made it a game, but in a losing effort. BOP have not lost. Cobras have not won. On to the next. Every game is its own unique story and possibility. Jewball to Prime for coming in and scoring a TD. The guy is an inspiration.
The next morning we regrouped for some Jesus Bowl football. Was great to see All Man play some ball. Was astonishing to see Brody come out (for all the well earned shtick about his chronic canceling – he can ball). Was beautiful to see all the friends and Jewball family on the sideline. Our Bowl Games are our holidays and we know how to celebrate. We know what’s important. We have another one in a few days. See you on the field.

League Weeks 1 and 2 Recap

Although we played one League game Primeaturely, Week 7 of Jewball marked the official start of League Weeks. The hype for Leagues this season was somewhat muted by the reconfigured Draft Party and the long wait for the games to begin, but Jewball Leagues are Jewball Leagues, and there is really nothing quite like it in our history. We’ve had big games, whether against non Jewball teams or – most similarly – Vets Rooks, but there is something about Leagues. The jerseys. The team names. The bonding. The knowledge that only one crew will remain standing, and DOMA sits at the end of the crucible. I like to think that Jewballers bring it every week – and for the most part, they do. No one takes a play off. Except for Snow accidentally saying in the huddle once, “Let’s have some fun,” and Zinn accidentally saying on the chat once that Vets Rooks doesn’t matter, Jewballers generally show up ready to rumble. But you can’t deny the sizzle in the air on League Weeks. So, despite the drama, it was a great idea, it remains a great idea – and – with some tweaks – we are continuing to make it a core element of the Jewball season.
Week 7 featured two games, Cronies v. Dawgs and Lionhearts v. Cobras. The Crocs (0-1) and Birds (1-0) had the week off and a bunch of their players came down to watch.  First up was Cronies v. Dawgs. Gotta hand it to the Dawgs. They have shown up for both League Games so far with their full rosters available. That’s always a great sign. Cronies have 3 players on the IR (Sting, Jordan, and Samet), with possibly only Jordan poised to come back this season. And PJs was on assignment. So it was formed Crony (and Championship MVP) Maor to the rescue. That gave the team 6. Daxxy recruited a kid from high school with a good reputation to round out the squad – nice, kid, but the result was less than nice.
Gronk came out leading his Cronies with that Gronk swagger. Quick long strike, perfectly placed to Storm, and it was Cronies on the board first. 6-0. But all that potential and hype disappeared as the game progressed. Daxxy’s Plus 1 had a brutal game of drops. And we know Gronk – he gives up on no one who is open. Player was open. The ball hit him in the hands. The ball hit the ground. Time and time again. The good news for the Cronies was, Dawgs were going drop for drop with them. Think even Mighty dropped one. For sure Ross did. Dachs and Gronk were handling their business and being let down. However, Dawgs has Mighty and Legs – two players that have shown this season that they will not be held down. Mighty caught 2 TDs, and had a P6. Legs erupts for 6 sacks. Jewball to each of those monsters. This is also the game where Beast reffed, and I think it went relatively well with someone making calls. Less fights. Even though some of the calls were made under the influence. I think. Your final is 26-6 Dawgs (1-0) over Cronies (0-1).
In a game that felt like it would be even more one-sided than the early game, Lionhearts v. Cobras had some juice at the end. Once again, it was the team that had its roster show up looking a lot better than the team trying to plug holes. Listen, I give Perla a ton of credit. He is the ultimate gamer. He abides by the philosophy of…..you do your best with what you have and you fight to the whistle. But Cobras need MK, Solo, Goldberg, and Sherrif at every game to compete. And so far they have not had a game with those 4 in attendance. They played a fully stocked Lionhearts and it wasn’t close for most of the game. Yaron jumped out to a 3 score lead, looking really comfortable with his new toys. While his usual go-to, Jack, did have a rushing TD, it was Fox having the statement game hauling in 3 TDs. With all hope seeming lost, Perla did his usual furious comeback bit. Riding the elusive speed and sure-handedness of Sherrif, and the rage of Big E Walls (3 sacks), Cobras made it interesting in the end. Whiskey caught at TD pass which brought the Cobras to within a score to tie the game. But Yaron pumped two late TDs in (1 to Stats and 1 to Fox) and put it out of reach. Jewball to Yaron for the 5 TDs thrown and 2 sacks as his Lionhearts (1-0) defeat the Cobras (0-1).
After a rain checked Week 8, League Week 2 was played – all 3 games at 8 am. We will begin with the 2 played at Lawrence High School on an unseasonably warm and calm December morning – though the clouds were pregnant with a brewing storm. And speaking of storms a brewing, our very own Johnny Storm had himself a game for the Cronies. This time it was Cobras with MK and Goldberg, but without Perla’s main weapon, Sherrif. Regardless, there is no real good excuse for what happened. Cobras need to figure out something that works. They have too many talented players to not be competitive. This one is not worth analyzing much more than saying Gronk gets Jewball for throwing 6 TDS to 4 different receivers (3 to Storm). The Kids scores the only TD for Cobras. PJS had a TD and an epic sack which we just learned will sideline Perla for a bit (welcome to the club). And Tommy looks like a keeper. Cronies (1-1) right the ship and Cobras (0-2) are still looking for answers.
 Across the way, a heavyweight battle was underway. BOP v. Dawgs faced each other in a game that many think will be replicated in the finals. Once again, Dawgs were fully loaded, while BOP was missing Prime, and for most of the game it was Dawgs on top. The game was scoreless for the first quarter, but as the 2nd quarter began, Dachs found Waldo streaking across the back of the endzone and took the lead. The lead was held until 2 minutes before the half, when Pray found former FCFT and Top Guns captain, Feit, a step off the sideline in the endzone and the QB did his best WR impression, making the catch and getting 3 balls in. Game tied. At this point, I ventured to WMS to scope our 3rd game of the day, but when I returned 45 minutes later, it was clear that Dawgs had been victimized. They were wronged in some way and the game was unofficially being played under protest. Two calls by BOP were being disrespected (a flag guard call by Daveo and PI call by Ice Man) had the Dawgs uproarious. Meanwhile, they had the lead with 15 minutes left. But the lead was squandered as the clock ticked down. After multiple holding calls by Legs as BOP knocked on the door of a game tying TD, Pray eventually slipped one in to Ice Man and the score was tied.  Everyone was exhausted from the arguing, spirits were low, and players had/wanted to go – so it was decided to go 1 and 1 full possession with Dachs and Dawgs getting ball first. You could kind of tell that Dawgs were going to lose this game based on the way things had gone. Right or wrong, the calls and the turn of events had them unfocused and resigned to a bitter fate. They went 3 and out. Pray and BOP were confident and played with their chins up. O had to run so the Dawgs were down a big defensive weapon, especially on the pass rush and slowing the QB run. Pray used this to his advantage and marched down the field with a few runs mixed in. On the final play of the game, Pray connects with Feit once again in the endzone and as the saying goes, Feit got hands. He makes the catch and closes this one out. BOP (2-0) 18 and Dawgs (1-1) 12. Jewball goes to a man who hasn’t played much football with us this season. In fact, this was his first regular season game. He had a very disappointing season last year, and a disappointing League season the year before that….but Jewballers never say die. Feit told us he couldn’t commit to playing this season. Couldn’t commit to Leagues. But he entered the draft and was chosen in the very late rounds by Pray. And last Sunday he was a game winning hero. Jewball to Feit for all the reasons we give out this award.
The last game is the one I know the least about. I know that it was scheduled to be played at HHS, but was rerouted to WMS and thankfully that worked. I know that Yaron was without Fox, who was the real scoring difference-maker for him in League Game 1. MVP and the Crocs were also short a few players, but what a blessing to have Jesus come back and play some Jewball with us. Jesus does it right (as does Zez). It’s okay to leave Jewball if you must, but if you are around – get a game in. Keep the tradition going. Stay with the family. Jesus is a Golden Age player who has made sure to catch a game whenever he can. If you ever find yourself away from Jewball, but have an opportunity to come back for a game, ask yourself: What would Jesus do? Jesus ended up needing to play for both teams as Rabin had some tightness which gave him scare enough to pull himself from the game. If I’m not mistaken, Crocs never trailed. They either had the lead or were tied from the beginning. I asked Zinn after the game, what he thought of Crocs. His quietly confident take: “We are working on some things.” I interpret that as, we have a good team, and we can win this whole thing….but we need to stay hungry and have the mentality of improve every game. It’s a very likeable and talented team. Well, Zinn lead by example last Sunday with 3 scores and a pick – Jewball to him. Jesus told me on the sideline about Zinn, we’ve had great athletes, but no one ever as smooth as that kid. Can’t argue. Zinn’s 3 TDs plus 1 by BK were enough to beat a subdued Lionhearts offense. Snow’s Crocs (1-1) just had too much firepower and Lionhearts (1-1) felt the absence of Fox.

One day, someone might read this recap and wonder why it has so few details considering it was written between Week 6 and Week 7, as is the tradition. Not just tradition, but more or less the practice for almost 20 years. But, as an excuse as well as an indictment, this recapper must admit that it is being drafted on the eve of Week 9. I will catch up, but it won’t be pretty.
Week 6 was played 6 days after the surgery that has me on the sidelines for another month. I made some notes so I wouldn’t forget the games entirely. There were 3 games played. I have a note saying, “the week Pray screwed everyone.” Presuming my memory serves and Woodmere Middle School did not turn into Yaron’s favorite beach club, this was the week we thought perhaps Yopray was making his earthly debut. So, it went from a really hot Pray v. Dachs matchup. A one for the ages battle of brothers as the Dachs boys clashed with the K Bros. It had the makings of a Jewball inferno. Instead, Pray goes ahead and has a staring contest with his wife for 5 hours, waiting for her to flinch and clear him for departure. With each contraction, the quality of our games contracted. Not only did she ultimately not have the baby until two weeks later, but Pray couldn’t make the call early enough, so a Pray lead team became a Rahmani lead team – and not even the Vet….it was the undrafted rookie, Akiva Rahmani. Truth be told, he wasn’t that bad. He has his dad’s confidence and determination, and he threw some true passes. Put up 2 scores with Legs and 2 with the Rook, but too little too late as this was a revenge game for Dachs who had been starved of his prized weapon for weeks. No one can say Dachs isn’t talented on his own (Recap of Week 7 will allow for this discussion), but give him Dax and one can call the force unstoppable. With Daxxy on their side as well – and Pray out – well, very few things in Jewball are inevitable, but math is math. And 3 Dachs > 3 Ks + 2 Rahmanis. Dax goes off for 5 TDS in a Dachs over Rahmani win 6-4. Jewballs to Dachs and Dax, proving once again that there is no better tandem in Jewball.
One benefit of writing the recap embarrassingly late is that I can epilogue here and report with the nachas of a grandfather that we were zocheh to see the aforementioned Prayby born between Week 7 and Week 8, which caused much light and joy in the Jewball world. Beginning with the collection for the Jewball gift (thank you, as always, big O), which I am told was the most participated in gift we have had. And I’m not surprised. Many people contribute to things. Many do so consistently. A bunch do it every time. But, I can say this unequivocally about Pray – he is as zealous and generous when it come to giving to Jewball as it gets. And he’s being doing it since day 1. In other words – he doesn’t just deserve it, he’s creating his own reality. You INDEED reap what you sow. As I told him after the shoyloym zoychoyur that Jewball descended on a week ago Friday night, thank you for being the guy we want to walk to in the pouring rain for. There was no question. No doubt. It’s a Pray simcha. We’re there. Was capped off by the bris, which I did forget about (so there goes the speech above), but thankfully Daveo messaged a dig at BD (who probably hates this paragraph so much), which got me there in a flash – just in time to catch the pic and learn that Kut likes his eggs runny af. I was also able to botch a Harachaman (thank you, Pray – means more to me than you can know) and hear Pray speak and call Jewball his other family. Well, he didn’t lie – we are. May Yonah grow l’tackles, catches, and mvp seasons.
Across the field on a stunning football Sunday, Yaron and MVP were locked in perhaps the best game of our young but rapidly aging Jewball season. Do I remember much about it? Of course not. But I do recall it being a good one. I believe it was the Solo Jewball season debut and he made it a real good one. The kind of game you get Jewballs for with 5 sacks and getting his team on the board with a dump and run TD. Was great to see him doing his rhythmic breathing exercises on the field once again. If I recall – and I don’t – Yaron jumped out to a lead in this one by maybe two scores. He was giving Snow a licking while the only thing Snow was licking was his fingers. Despite all that moisture – or maybe because of it – Snow threw 3 picks (Dobs, Bron, and The Kid). And what if I told you that Yaron put up 3 scores in the game? Sounds like Le’Bron got himself off the matt and went home with a W. But, no. Despite throwing zero picks…I guess the defense just locked down on him and prevented further damage, while Snow threw 3 TDs to the Mighty one and one to the Wizard….and – let’s just say in OT since I think it was – Snow defeats Yaron 4-3! Jewball to Mighty once again. It’s getting stupid.
In the 945 Game, Yaron, coming off a tough loss, had a very tough task. A hungry Pray was released and showed up ready to ball. It was clear that all his frustrations with his wife, marriage, life choices, and religion were about to be unleashed on the field. And then the randomizer went full crackhead and handed him Solo, Legs, Spira, Ice Man, Salem, and Beast. It’s like the Suicide Squad version of Jewball and I don’t mean the softball version, emphasis on the soft. Although Yaron had the power of 4 Katzes (and btw – just thought of a great name for an all Katz team – ThunderKatz), it wasn’t remotely enough to prevent the murder death kills that greeted him that Sunday morning. Pray threw 5 TDS. Two to the Ice Man, 2 to Legs, and 1 to my boy Spira. Pray gets the Jewball for risking his marriage once again for Jewball. Not sure that’s a good thing, but he should at least get something for his questionable decision making. 
TURKEY BOWL
I’m not gonna recap these games because I filmed them, but I must certainly once again commend Rabin for bringing The Oracle down. How cool is that? The guy was the first Jewballer! I’ve never met him until a few weeks ago and he was able to watch our game and the guys were able to give him respect and express gratitude. We will pick this concept up at the Chanukah Party, but miracles are no coincidence.
Dachs beats Snow in the early one. Dom came out to set up and ref, which was also a Jewball first. My ice cream cake melted into oblivion and I believe is now a permanent fixture to the LHS track. I got to finally drink beers with Ernie. Kut made juicy wings.
Every year on Thanksgiving we ask for a miracle and that Rabin will put it all together and throw a game of winning football. Until 120 we hope to continue. But, such miracles are happening much less frequently in recent years. We will always have that incredible Turkey Bowl Tourney win….that was top 3 Jewball moments. But, alas, you were struggling in this one and Gronk took over about half way through. Was an excellent game. Feit was back and…y’know….he just looked really sharp. He looked like the Feit that caught on at the end of the Miracle Season and was immediately handed a League Team. He looked like the guy who had IT. Less pump fakes and more pumped up. He did end up losing as Gronk stages a sweet comeback with Rabin as receiver playing hero – making a wild catch behind his head even though he was facing the QB….so…yeah. But Feit had this game. Dropped TD by Pray, and Irv didn’t come down with a game winner. But Thanksgiving isn’t about results or stats. I mean, results matter – Ws never die, but – again – these recaps are coming in late and we have the ability to take the long view of everything. I am thankful for Dom, and Feit, and The Oracle, and Shuey Offman who came out to watch some Jewball, and the memories of that epic tournament with Rabin, and the fact that we celebrate all things together – because we take nothing for granted.

It’s hard to look back on this past Sunday. I don’t want to look back. Not yet. Just forward. First to Monday, when I get this bicep reattached. Then to the 6 weeks of healing. Then to the 4-6 weeks of rehabbing. Then to the day I can return to the field with you all and finish the game I started. Because the game I started went like this….
No one was on the field at Woodmere Middle School when 28 of us Jewballers descended. Prime was back. The sun was shining. Was probably almost 60 degrees. I was feeling light, and fast, and healthy. Pray was my QB.  If you didn’t look at your phone to see how effed up the world was, you’d think….what could be better than right now?
I’ll tell you. Three completions with Pray in the early going and a defense locking down Dachs and his very talented core of receivers including Storm and Zinn. The last of these completions a gorgeously designed play with Stella setting the pick and Jordan crossing behind him from the slot to the out and up…and Pray lofts one just far enough to make it worth the sprint toward the ball. There is nothing like that feeling of seeing a pass in the air and knowing that it’s a good pass – a perfect pass – but it only works if you – the receiver – makes the effort to         get there. And it was in fact worth the effort. A TD. Stat, count it. I look over to the other field and I see Yaron and Mighty putting up points. Me and Mighty scoring TDs on WMS turf. It’s 2009 again. Pray to Jordan almost put up a second score, but a slightly underthrown fade to the right corner of the endzone was picked by Dachs, and the score remained Pray 1, Dachs 0. On the next play, with Dachs taking over from the 5, a quick pass to Ernie on Dach’s right on the outside and it’s mano a mano with Jordan. Ernie trying to get as many yards as possible. Jordan trying to limit the damage. I did something I’ve done a thousand times before. Grabbed him with the left arm, pulled the flag with the right. But, just as it happened with Goldberg on Thanksgiving about 6 years ago….the strength of my adversary overcame the biological limits of my physical body. Tendon snaps, arm is done, game is done. People are sympathetic, but I know how it goes – it just sucks for the players on the field. One person has to rotate. The flow is thrown off. The game is tainted. But, wait, it gets worse.
I look over and see Fox on the sideline as well. He’s hurt. He’s out for the game. When it rains…
Right about then, a very nice guy walks on the field. He is the soccer coach for WMS. He still owes me a video of Mighty racing some kids (though we got it later from Zada). He tells they have permit for 9:30. He says we can stay till 9am. When it rains it pours.
There are few things more important in life to get you through a travail than a productive goal. So, in a way it was a blessing. Instead of watching from the sidelines wondering and worrying how bad the injury was, I had a field to build on the grass. I built it. It was awesome but sucked at the same time. I knew Spira would eventually find a flaw, which he did. But the dimensions were perfect. It was trial and error and wound up in the only spot you could build a field on a patch of grass of that size an shape and with the obstacles it presented. The problem was it was diagonal to every reference point around it. So it was a mind eff of a field. Which isn’t good. Also, there was only one of it. So, at 9am, when Yaron v. Gronk and Pray v. Dachs needed to finish their games, they had to share. 15 minutes each on the grass. It was that kind of day for Jewball. But….Jewball is a long story. You take the good with the not as good.
I believe both games entered their 15 minutes of “overtime” with tie scores. Gronk had thrown 2 TDs to Stats, 1 to Ross, and 1 to Dax. And he had 4 picks. Jewball was his with the W. But Yaron was intent on fixing his early season losing streak. He has been throwing the ball well, but just not doing enough to get Ws. That’s why God created Mighty. To get men Ws. The Mighty one catches 2 scores and adds a third via P6 (along with a bonus pick for good measure). Dude was feeling himself! Yelling at soccer kids, challenging them to races, challenging them to leave the field at the end of their game 8 minutes early.  Yaron and Mighty (along with DK, Bert, Rook, Zada and injured Fox) take a close game from Gronk 5-4. Jewball to Mighty for the show he put on.
Pray and Dachs came in to the 15 minutes knotted at 1s. As Pray described it, the wait between games and the switch to grass killed his team’s momentum. Well, may be true, but why didn’t it kill Dachs’? One team has to want it more. One team has to execute better to wrestle the W from the jaws of L. And Dachs did that. Dobs and Beast performed at the line with 5 sacks between them. Zinn had 2 picks and 2 TDs, the final picking icing the already iced game, which was a one handed bit of insanity streaking across the endzone to steal a TD. That’s some dark magic. But, the game was surely turned with Dachs up 2-1 and Pray beginning a drive with ten minutes left from Dachs’ five yard line. A screen to Prime that went the way of the duck and bounced off Prime’s cleats….into Storm’s arms in the endzone. It more or less put the game away in stupefying fashion. Absolutely brutal.
Game 2 was all Yaron and Gronk and not enough Perla magic. This is the game where BK doesn’t factor in the stats, but it’s really all about him. BK takes himself out, The Rook gets his spot, but the The Rook has cleat issues, so The Kid jumps in for The Rook for BK….and the game will forever be remembered as the one where Gronk humbles The Kid. There will be no bragging or big talk after this one. It wasn’t even so much Gronk toying with our young rook, but more like pretending he wasn’t there. It’s crazy that we have Gronk as a QB when he’s probably a top 3 receiver in the League. But, anyway, enough about Crony problems.
Perla always battles. He hasn’t won in a bit, but he’s always right there. His teams (both day and night) just need to take one more step forward to start being a real threat. Right now, they are performing like high grade speed bumps. They slow you down for a bit, but in the end you get past them anyway. The game was close for a while, with a deep ball to Jack for a score and a sliding grab in the corner of the endzone to Prime, but Yaron and Gronk just kept pouring it on. Perla’s team basically had no answer for Gronk and that was the difference. Gronk loaded up the stats line with 3 scores, a pick, a P6, and a sack. That’s Jewball material. He gets it.
As for me, I’m out for 10-12 weeks. But in the age of the Enlightenment, there are many ways to contribute to Jewball. And I will do what I can to stick around the game. I pray and I Pray. Will be back on the field as soon as possible. Gotta work hard. Gotta Ern it. No pun intendoned.

GAMES at WMS

8am

Game A

Dark

Colors

Dachs – QB
Dobbs
Beast
Kid
Zinn
Storm
Ernie

GAME B

Colors

Yaron – QB
Rook
Mighty
Zada
Bert
DK
Fox

Dark

Gronk – QB
Kut
Ross
Dax
Waldo
Stats
O

945

Dark/Orange

Perla – QB
Prime
Salem
BK
Pray
Spira
Jack

Colors/not Orange

Bron – QB
Storm
Zada
Tom
Sherrif
Gronk
MK

Jewball is the island. We don’t let the outside in. We don’t let the drudgery of the real world permeate the white (or yellow) borders of our turf paradise. But, for as long as most of us can remember, we have called ourselves Jewball. A lot of voices out there might have us question the integrity of our name. Without minimizing how difficult it is and has been to be a member of other tribes and backgrounds, it’s not easy right now to be a Jew. I guess then – since we are all one under this banner – it’s not easy right now to be a Jewballer. I have opinions and thoughts and philosophies about what is going and where it might go, but I’m smart enough to know to keep them to myself and to not listen to those of others. Let’s just stay strong. Stay together. Get through this abysmal era one game at a time. It’s interesting that the Jewball season mirrors the season of this war. We are in Week 4 of the war. We are in Week 4 of Jewball. I pray that very soon it will just be some week of Jewball with no anchors attached and our hostages are home and the rockets stop falling and the missiles stop falling and the sky stops falling and there is lasting peace and security for all.
Because of all this madness, we missed our Draft Party (although the TBI version was superb), and I missed my chance to post a season opening monologue. It’s too late for it now. It would normally be an effusive welcome back in the form of praise for all that is Jewball. An ode to our history and traditions – and generally just expressing appreciation for the moment. You know what? Everything may be going to hell, but my money is on civilization pulling through (call me a psychotic delusional optimist), so let’s go ahead and put the blinders on and appreciate. A Jewball season is a sacred thing. The start of it is a holiday. We celebrate the reunification of the world we have built over the decades that this league has existed. Built over decades but flourished beyond even the Oracle’s prophecies over the past five years. We emerged from a Dark Age where Jewball found itself in exile, playing in Croton, to outlasting Croton, and enter the Revolution. And just when we thought we could not achieve a higher plane of existence – because the football was so damn good and we had ourselves a turf field and no one to interfere – we realized that Jewball was not a season, but that….Jewball was life. And I say that in as un-cult like a way as possible. We ascended to our current incarnation. We are in the age of Enlightenment. Where Jewball is a universe without (many) boundaries. It’s on the field, it’s off the field, it’s on days of joy, and days of heartbreak. With too many permutations to name, but they are all awesome. So, if you just got here – you missed a lot, but you came in at a really good time. Thank you for being here. Not just the Rookies, but all of you. In times like these, you sometimes need to remind yourself why life is so precious and so worth living. So worth sticking around for. So worth wading through the muck of it all. I’m sure we all have different individual answers. But, I know that for me Jewball is right up there.
As of this writing, I did not watch TBI yet. Week 1 seems like a long time ago. I didn’t write a recap for my game. It was the only game I followed that week – Dachs v. Gronk. I left the game and headed for the airport. Dachs wasn’t himself. He wasn’t with his choice receivers and nothing was clicking. Daxxy got hurt and the gameplan changed. Gronk was just fine after basically a year off. With Goldberg dominating in the clutch and putting up 3 scores, he gets a Jewball and an extremely strong start to his season. He made some great plays this past Sunday as well.
Week 3 started off in classic Jewball fashion. Love changing fields on the spot. It’s an ugly situation, but always handled with grace, and elegance, and faith. It’s so much easier now with smart phone and whatsapp. Imagine pulling it off in the olden days. That was handled by leaving Klink or B-sh or BD by the field to redirect everyone to some location…where we also didn’t know if it would be open. The best was when you go to that new location and Jesus or Rabin or Ike were standing there to send you on to the 3rd location. I’ll tell you something….we always found a field. Always. Even if it was pathetic…we lay the cones down somewhere and played. This past Sunday was not so bad. Hewlett had lacrosse, we were told. Re-rout to Woodmere, and by the great gods of Jewball it was empty and nary a security guard in site. We are subject to the fates for the next 3 weeks, and then permit season begins.
The games were actually very good – in terms of competitiveness. Unfortunately, for those who love Jewballs and Ws, neither game had one. Both ended in ties. The only thing less fun than recapping a tie is recapping a blow-out.
Game 1 looked like it was going to be a blow-out. Dachs, reunited with Dax, and finding nice chemistry with Ross and Vegh, went up 3-0 early. Pray had a really good team and Pray is really good so it was tough to watch the lack of fight that was being put up. He was joined by Beast, Steve-O, Daveo, Blitz, Goldberg, and Mighty. Honestly, I don’t remember exactly where things turned. I know there was a sequence where Pray scored (gonna guess to Mighty) and on the next drive Dachs threw an ill-advised cross body pass that fell short and Pray picked it, flipped to Steve-O, and a few plays later Goldberg caught a fireball from Pray in the back of the endzone (after having dropped a similar pass a play earlier). All of a sudden, Pray was back in the game. Offense prowess let to defensive dominance and after another TD to Mighty and a Daveo P6, Pray was leading 4-3! Dachs got back to using his bro at will to gain yards, but even more-so – unwilling to take chances – began running for huge chunks of yards. The game went back and forth in the final half hour and was knotted at 9:30. People had to go. The chippiness was getting chippier, calls were being made and not respected, respected was being called but not made, made was being respected but not called – it was just a mess. So, after Dobbs ran one in with Steve-O maybe getting him at the 1, and Mighty scoring a TD after a flag guard call by Ernie (who had a sparkling comeback game – good on ya, mate!), Dax saw the arguing proliferate and he had enough. He’s not hear for the bad vibes. He assessed and said he was done. And he was right. We gotta fight that urge, people. I gotta fight that urge. Bad vibes have always been a part of Jewball, but at the same time they have no place in it. People tell me that it’s about the rules. Better rules. Clearer rules. Are you joking? You’re not, but I wish you were. This isn’t about rules. Callers are gonna call. Arguers are gonna argue. Protesters are gonna protest. Chumash players are gonna chumash play. All we can do is remind and ask and beg…(each other and ourselves)…don’t make bad calls. And if you made one, take it back quickly. Don’t make calls for people. Don’t make calls from the sideline. Don’t make calls from the field if you aren’t playing and just filming (Jordan!). And if a call is made and stuck to – even a horrendous one – for the good of Jewball and so that Dax doesn’t feel dirty when he goes home – respect the horrendous call as if it was a good one. Don’t argue. Don’t even say, Coooooomeee Onnnnn.
Game 2 was less exciting than Game 1, but still well played and ended with neither side claiming victory. Perla proved himself once again resilient. Coming back from a 2-0 deficit. Yaron was on fire in the early going, slinging majestic needle threading passes to the Ice Man and Jack. But Perla is a never say die type and he surrounded himself with gamers like the Sherrif, BK, Tom, Storm, Rook, and Legs. None of those dudes are folding. And so they battled. Perla hit BK deep over Jordan for a score. Hit Tom deep to get close to endzone and punched it in. Game was tied. Perla almost took the lead but floated one to Legs in the endzone and Jordan managed to pick it. Yaron and the Ice Man scored again, but so did Perla and BK. So there you have it. A recap. May they continue. God should bless us. Our families. Our great Jewball family. God should see what we have done here at Jewball and are doing and how we conduct ourselves and operate with pure love and respect and humanity and in that merit bless this world of His, which is currently on fire.

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