The categories below are made to give respect to those who we believe have earned the highest Jewball achievements of the season. While some polls are limited to choices, some have write in ballots. Please consider what these players do on the field, what they do for their teams, the stats they accumulate, and how they impact the game each time they walk on the gridiron. Please note that the overall MVP award is a distinction given by our commissioner during the season recap (although he does consider the vote). Please only vote once. Make every vote count!! (Note: Most performance categories carry a 10 games played minimum)

It’s weird sitting here after the last regular game of the Jewball season has been played. No signups to post. No teams to send out. The randomizer has been put away for the year. Yes, we still have league playoffs and a chip but as we all know that is separate from Jewball. Our 20 week (this year 21) season came to an end with three games and perhaps the craziest and most beautiful thing we’ve ever done.

In game 1a it was Blop v. Gorilaz. Blop flying high after clinching a playoff spot in their defeat of the Stogies the previous week and gorillaz looking to win and lock up the 1 seed.  Admittedly, I saw almost none of the game…..although the good news is there wasn’t much of a game to speak of. Everytime I looked over it was Lego zipping a pass to another wide open wr or mighty scampering down the sideline for a big gain. Gorillaz opened the scoring first after mighty took a short pass to the house to make it 6-0. Blop moved the ball well during the first half but just could not punch it into the endzone. Next drive for Gorillaz it was Lego to Goldberg to make it 14-0. Blop drove again but a drive ending int to lego on a wobbly pass gave Gorillaz the ball right back. Gorillaz scored one more time to mighty on a bullet throw from lego to make it 21-0. Zinn took over for blop at qb and had a solid drive and a crazy catch by prime up the sideline but a redzone stall kept the score at 21-0. Gorillaz would keep the shutout intact. Jewball to mighty for the 2 scores and just making play after play in this one. All gorillaz needed now was a Semi Pro loss and the 1 seed would be theirs.

In game 1b it was GM v SP. The last time these teams saw each other it was Week 1 of leagues and it was a game winner from Avenger to Berk to win it on the last play of the game. This time the game would come down just as much to the wire. Green Machine took the ball first and had a new toy to replace Iceman for this one. He’s a kid a lot of us know from Tuesday nights and arguably one of the best players we’ve played with. Levy stepped in and Avenger went right to him. The first time, a great bat down by storm, but the second time it was a post corner run to perfection and it was Levy off to the races on a 75 yard TD to open the scoring. Extra point to levy as well and a quick 7-0 lead for GM. SP took the ball but went 3 and out and avenger and GM went back to work. After a few more avenger to levy throws, the SP defense caught on and a deep ball intended for levy was picked by pray and SP was back in business. Three plays later it was pray up the sideline following blocks by an all nighter solo for 6. extra point no good and it’s 7-6 GM. The next drive for GM started with more of the same, mixed in with a few avenger runs. It was 4th and 1 from the 49. Everyone on the planet knew where the ball was going… to levy. Except Avenger pumps and tosses a soft touch pass over to Fish (who was somehow also filling in for iceman) and takes it to the house for a 13-6 lead. SP would not go down without a fight and took the ball looking to answer right back. However, a pass intended for solo got stalked down by Bert (filling in for oppen) and picked by avenger. GM now had a chance to take complete control of the game. Thankfully for SP, GM turned it over on downs and they had the ball right back. No harm no foul. SP started to drive and three plays in it was a wild run around backyard football moment with stats leaking over the top for a pray to stats touchdown to cut the lead to 13-12. The lack of extra points for SP keeps them away from tying it up. GM would answer right back with a 8 play drive capped off by a leaping TD by fish to make it 19-12. SP did nothing with their next drive and the game was now on the line. A GM score would end it. A stop would give SP one more chance to try and win it. On third and long, Avenger throws a deep ball intended for levy into double coverage and the ball gets batted around before falling into prays hands and returned for 25 yards to give SP one more chance. Some say avenger was sacked before the ball was thrown yet others say the ball was off. No one really knows and it was determined it was too late to fight it out. One thing for sure is that we always go by the teammates. If someone on the same team determines that the other team is correct, that’s it. No need to argue it out.  SP would take the ball with a chance to win it. On first and 24 from the 49 pray launched one to portal who catches it in stride and looked like he would score right away to end the game…. except fish came flying in from nowhere to track down portal at the 2. SP would need to punch it in. Two plays later it was Solo with a beautiful hands catch to make it 19-18. Kut and Co now had a choice, go for two and win it or 1 and play for the tie. The Dan Cambpell in Kut won and SP would try for two to win the game. Pray dropped back and a well timed third rush by daveo right up the middle forced a quick throw. It was one on one with Avenger and Portal. Rookie on Rookie. Roy on Roy. But Avenger wanted this one badly and he jumped right in front of portal to knock it down and end the game. Jewball to Avenger for the 3 tds thrown and the game saving play at the end. (Fish probably could have gotten it also but no jewballs to a guy who’s not yet in jewball).

Both these teams and Blop v. Gorrilaz will see each other again when the playoffs and chip happen 4/19 IYH.

After the excitement from Vets Rooks 26, there was still more football to be played. We had two weeks left on the schedule Week 20 and 21 and three league games to fit in.

In the early game it was colors of yaron, bz, goldberg, kut, stats, rook, and vegh against dark of pray, prime, tbd, kagan, berk, bert, and zada. Colors took the ball first and in just a few plays it was 1-0 colors as yaron hit kut in the back of the endzone. Dark would respond with a really impressive drive of mixed runs and prime screens to get into the red zone but on 4th and goal from the 13, Goldberg stuck his long arms out but instead of a flag guard he wound up with an int and colors had the ball back. Immediately right back down the field they went. Three plays later it was stats from 10 yards out, 2-0 colors. Dark moved methodically down the field again and after a big catch and run by zada it was a flip from pray to berk to make it 2-1. But Colors offense was relentless and after a few dump offs to vegh and kut, it was yaron down the sideline taking it himself from 45 yards out. 3-1 colors. Dark would again respond but they were constantly playing from behind, this time after a missed sack by bz and kut, it was a flip to Kagan who followed his blo(a)cks (aka prime) en route to a 25 yard td. 3-2 now. Yaron though was feeling himself and cool yaron was just about peaking through now that the snow was gone- a long ball to the rook pushed colors back up by 2. 4-2. Dark answered back with another drive mixed with runs and short throws to zada and berk. a screen pass to prime from five out made it 4-3. Dark needed a stop but none was coming, cool yaron was back and he would score once again. This time to vegh to all but end the game. Dark would go on another great drive after a 60 yard bomb from pray to berk who somehow got caught at the 15 by stats, but a redzone stall would keep the game a two possession one. Dark finally got their first stop of the game on a zada int, but it was too little too late. it was 930 and the game was effectively over. Dark would score on a nifty delayed out by bert to end the game 5-4 colors. Easy jewball to yaron in this one for the 4 tds and rushing td. Cool yaron was back….. or was he.

In game 2 it was BLOP v. Stogies in what essentially was a playoff game. The Stogies win and they were locked into a playoff spot. A blop win by at least ten (yes PD head to head for Logan) would guarantee them a playoff spot. Less than 10, and they’d need to win the next game also. The game started out pretty docile and everyone was on their best behavior. The yelling or arguing was to a minimum but the tension was real. Both teams in a fight for their lives. Would either of these teams smoke their last chance for an opportunity at the chip. The real story of the day was that blop was short handed and missing the Invader. How that would affect their team no one was sure. But what they couldn’t replace in zinn’s talent, they replaced in leadership, fiereiness, and just an all out commitment to football and that was Jordan. The big J was in town again and was suiting up for his old blop team. Yes, this wasn’t the same team he was a part of last year. In fact, he was playing against his old QB in yaron. But it was the jordan-prime blop connection and Jordan wanted to make sure that blop went out with a win. The first drive of the game ended in stogies turning it over on downs and it was blops ball to try and take an early lead. A few short passes to Ernie and prime and they were in business. On 3rd and goal from the 12, football dachs (yes he showed up today) delivered a dart to Jordan by the front pylon. The place erupted. Not because the ball was caught, as it was determined that he did not have both feet down, but because everyone was sure they had seen exactly what had happened. The line judges conferred and no catch was the call. One play later though it was dachs to landy 6-0 blop. stogies would start their own drive and moved the ball methodically down the field for a yaron to gronk td to tie the game up. Unfortunately for stogies that was the end of their scoring for a while. Now as mentioned before stogies just needed to play defense, a loss wouldn’t be nearly as devastating for them as a blowout. But as mentioned before as well, football dachs came to play and used every weapon at his disposal. The next td was of the rushing variety 13-6 blop. stogies would try to respond but legs and justin brought every ounce of pressure they could muster. Legs finished the day with 4 sacks and Justin with two batted passes and the stogie offense was on the brink. Meanwhile, dachs put up two more scores one to prime and the other to Ernie and the game was 27-6. Stogies would need to put something together and fast. But between the pressure and secondary coverage of blop (landy with 2 ints). All they could get was a last drive td to stats to make it 27-12. The stogie season was extinguished. what started out as a 2-0 powerhouse dropped the final 4 games to finish 2-4. Huge shoutout to Stella for captaining up this year and just genuinely understanding that leagues are for the good of jewball and not the other way around. For Blop, they now entered the playoff race and anything is possible especially once zinn is back in the picture. A lot of worthy jewball candidates for this one — football dachs balled out with 3 tds and a rushing td, prime made sure his team would not quit despite starting 0-3, legs finished the day with 4 sacks and an almost td but didn’t want to lose yards, and landy had a td and 2 ints on defense. But it is this recap writer’s belief that none of that would be possible without Mr. J(ewball) himself. Maybe Blop still wins this game without jordan. it’s certainly possible. But I for one do not believe that the blop performance is nearly as dominant if not for jordan. Jordan was the heart and soul of blop on sunday and we were lucky enough to get two jewball sundays with jordan back in town. Jordan, a jewball for you for rallying the troops as you always do and picking up that W. Some stats don’t show up on a spreadsheet and are not quantifiable. Similar to what you mean and do for jewball. It’s not something that can be put into numbers.

The next day jewball went south for the Where’s waldo wedding– join the vn chat for that recap 🙂

Even with AI, the internet, and the myriad of research tools at our fingertips, we still live in a world of unknowns. Everyone likes to speculate; predict outcomes, even bet on them. But no one knows. Human beings are still autonomous and spontaneous and subject to volatile shifts in mood, perspective, and objectives. Our whims change by the day – sometimes by the hour. So when I asked that Pray be in charge of Jewball – and – in many ways – left Jewball (my precious – I’m Gollum) in all of your hands…I speculated that things would carry on smoothly, I predicted that Pray would be the right leader to keep the Jewball flame burning bright and – in our own way – burning eternal.
But you never know.
You don’t need me to tell you that Jewball is standing strong. That it’s on fire in all the best ways. Did we take hits this season? For sure. The weather kept us from the one thing we need most – football games. Many key players got hurt. Some of our favorite Jewball characters checked out. Leagues gonna League. It happens. JBFL regardless and for real. I saw all this happening from a distance. Not once was I worried. I could tell we were thriving. TBI has never been better. Not a knock on PJs. He would have been part of this had he chose to. It just gets better every year…that’s called experience and technological advancements. Pray was so the right man for the job. Clear as day. We live in an age of Jewball iluys and phenoms and prodigies. Everyone seems to come in young and fresh and avid with so much polish and wisdom. It’s one reincarnated Jewball soul after another. There is no other way to explain some of these Rooks. Pray – now a seasoned Jewball Vet – is in YEAR 1 of this job! And he’s such a pro. Imagine in 10 years! Which sort of brings me to Sunday and the reason I am even writing.
Pray did ask me to write, but after Sunday’s game…I really wanted to. My heart was spilling over with so much awe and appreciation for the world we built. My mind was supersaturated with expressions that I had to share like an incandescent billboard. Starting with a feeling of pure primal gratitude – that at 48 I’m still playing the game. That alone. A miracle in its own way. And like I said in the last recap I wrote – I believe (and in many ways know) that I have merited to stay healthy because I have merited to be playing. It’s a circle of kinetic spiritual energy that continues to pulsate. God runs the world. God runs nature. For now, God wants me to play football and be one of you. Otherwise, it doesn’t really make sense. Next, to know that the field is where we reunite. It’s our makom mikdash (a sanctified place – sanctified by us, but also inherently). We commit to a pilgrimage every Sunday morning. The field is where we gather and the game is the ritual. Not a cult, but there is something devotional about it all. Especially the ingathering bit. I ran into some Jewballers over my first Shabbos in town. Mostly vets who hadn’t played in a while. Marino, Sig, Hackel, Fox (Star’s dad). Of course we talk football and Jewball, because that’s what it means to be a Vet. It’s part of you. And that part longs so much for the game. Which is exactly why you never quit or hang ‘em up or retire. The game must be violently ripped from you. You don’t relinquish it by choice. I didn’t want to see the current roster of active Jewballers in shul. Or on Central Avenue. Or at a kiddush. The field is the sanctified ground. That is where we gather. That is where we reunite.
And so it was. Yaron picked me up on Sunday morning and off we went to play in the annual rite of passage we call Vets Rooks. Here is where I would maybe write about how meaningful Vets Rooks is. But I’ve set the stage enough. Our Rooks are so locked in and committed and get it on such a deep level, my rallying cry polemic would ring redundant. Vets Rooks matters because being a Vet matters. Being a Rook matters. I used to need to explain why. Unnecessary in 2026. You see what we are. You all know why.
The pre-game drama – as there always has to be – was do the Seniors have a team? Jordan was going to be in for the game having been inspired by Singer and flying in for VR, but the big story was the new additions of Tabak and Gronk. Jewballers of 10 years now! Congratulations! An incredible milestone. With G-d’s help, by everyone! The drama involved Gronk being out, TBD being out, MK being out, Steve-O being out, and Mighty threatening to be out if his kid’s hockey game was on. After driving the Commish (and Juniors’ Co-Captain) crazy, it was decided that Mighty was in, Rabin (the most Vet of all Vets) was going to QB, and the Seniors would fight with the personnel they had (Rabin, Mighty, Daveo, O, Kut, PJs, Jordan, and Tabak).
They would face off against their fellow Vet Juniors team lead by Pray and Yaron and comprised of a savvy battle tested crew of Logan, Legs, Prime, Storm, Goldberg, Vegh, and Zada.
On paper, many would say the Seniors had no shot. Rabin hadn’t won a big game as starting QB since VR 5 years earlier (crazy how time flies). PJs hadn’t played a game all season. Technically, neither had Jordan. Kut was a little banged up as he always is this time of year after laying his body on the line for Jewball season after season. But Daveo got that motor. O was in the best shape he’d been in for many years. Stella just keeps getting better and was highly motivated in his Seniors debut. And Mighty is the reigning MVP having another MVP caliber season. Any given Sunday.
First of all, an ode to PJs. Few hear the VR call like PJs. Klink hears it, but, alas reality. Singer hears it, but, alas caution. PJs hears it and it is irresistible. Reality is a construct. Caution is thrown to the wind. To paraphrase the patriot Nathan Hale quoted as he marched to execution, “My only regret is that I have but one body to give to Jewball.” PJs has already given his body to Jewball. He is credited with ushering in the Renaissance, just when the Golden Age was fading to black. He took a long hiatus due to family and learning and lack of a game-appropriate wardrobe. But he came back. Participated in the Revolution. Was a star of the Revolution. Pioneered so many aspects of Jewball that are still enjoyed today, including producing and hosting the first bunch of seasons of TBI. But damn does that kid play reckless. So. Many. Collisions. None more monumental and terrifying as the one between he and Prime on Red Sunday. Knocked unconscious. Ambulance to the field. Real damage. Real consequences. The need for real healing. He took the time, played occasionally, but became more of a figurehead in Jewball. Few remember well his playing days. Despite these risks, it was VR Sunday, and PJs heard the call – like many hear the call – but, unlike many – PJs answered it. He came out and battled and showed everyone what it means to be a Vet. Of course Yaron promptly threw a bullet pass directly at his head from point blank range. PJs, you are an inspiration. Some say what you are doing is dangerous. What about your mental health? I mean, that’s valid. But….Jewball is also needed for our mental health. It’s a tough question with no easy answer. I just know you inspire me. Thank you for being my Jewball brother for so long.
The game started with a 3 and out for the Juniors. A good question to ask was – with Cool Yaron dead – did it make sense for Pray to start? The Commish was having another dominant season. But there is that respect thing and Uncool Yaron had been playing pretty well. The problem being that the Seniors had beaten the Juniors the prior year because Yaron was way off. This game started with Yaron being on at QB, but Pray being unable to get a handle on his passes. Three drops in the first few Junior possessions. The Seniors were not doing much better. Unlike in last year’s VR Finals, Rabin was able to grip the ball and throw it, but – even with Solo canceling last minute – Legs and Zada were fierce and pressuring him (3 sacks on the day combined). Neither offense was moving the ball. One can credit good defenses, but it was also bad offense. Drops and play calls that didn’t work. Finally, the Seniors broke through. Option play to Daveo and Daveo chooses to keep the ball, reverse field, and down the sideline…cuts to the middle. He could…go…all…the…nope, Pray tracks him down. Fat boy can run. A few plays later Rabin throws a beautiful pass that no one really knows who it was to, but the flight of the ball was a marvel to behold. It strikes a slanting Daveo right in the hands and Seniors have a 1-0 lead a few minutes before the half.
At that point Yaron decided to stop passing to guys like Pray who were only good for drops and start running the screen game. It worked. It was Prime Time. Even with Daveo and O playing an aggressive middle and pulling flags. Even with Jordan and Tabak sealing the outside and taking on a slew of bruising blockers….the Juniors played very effective bully ball. Well designed and executed screens are hard to stop. Prime is hard to stop when he is amped, and he was amped for VR. He called the Seniors soft and weak over and over as he thundered downfield, picking up yards and first downs. Yards and first downs. Like incontinence, it was a problem the Seniors could not solve. The Juniors found their confidence and scored twice (Pray and Storm). The Seniors offense sputtered to a halt. Besides the one obligatory gorgeous throwback completion from Rabin to Jordan (Est. 2004), the Seniors never punched back. They had opportunities. Short Fields. Tabak – head on a swivel and providing excellent corner play – picked 2 sideline passes intended for Pray to drop. But nothing materialized. The game ended – as it always must – with some controversy as the Seniors hoped to tie the game and maybe send it into OT, but Storm beats Jordan on a slant at the 5 and scores to make it 3-1 as the clock expired. Juniors advance and avenge their 2024 Season VR Semis loss. Jewball to my Assmen, Cronies II, and BLOP brother Stormy for the 2 scores and the intensity. Guy brings it and sets the pace every time I see him out there.
I can’t say I know enough about the actual back and forth of the Rooks Semi-Finals Game. Here is what I do know: Mid-game, Pray yells over to DK, “Why are you trying so hard? You know the game is gonna end in a tie.” A joke. A premonition. In both. It’s been the Freshies v. Smores minhag for a while. Or at least it feels that way. I know that every time I looked over, I saw Avenger and Dachs taking shot after shot. The kids air it out. In contrast to the Vets game which was mainly runs and short yardage plays, the Rooks were taking big swings. The only play I can remember seeing was Landy make a great catch. I saw him make an even better one this past Sunday. The dude in the Seattle Seahawks ski cap can ball. The final score was 4-4. The game went late. There was regular overtime. There was college overtime. Eventually there was I gotta go time. Before I get to the finals, as VR is a day where we count our blessings and realize how lucky we are to be Jewballers with a proud past, an awesome present, and a bright future – where we remind ourselves that Jewball is an exclusive club, but not a closed one. We realized long ago that our strength is in sharing our universe with new blood. Because…doesn’t it seem like every time a new Jewballer arrives and buys in…it was like they were here all along? That’s called destiny. Don’t fight it. Don’t doubt it. Save your cynicism for other aspects of life. It’s warranted in plenty of places. But not by us. Our Rooks have been off the charts these past few seasons. People and players. I’ll just say their names and let the consonants and vowels sing their praises…cuz you all know how insanely blessed we have been: Blitz, Dachs, Daxxy, DK, Ernie, Opes, Stats, Zinn, The Rook, Avenger, Berk, BZ, Kagan, Landy, DJCP, Schiffer, and Spiegel. Of course there are more – but these were the guys who played in the game. Who celebrated the holiday. Who took part in the ritual. We get on the Rooks because they suck and we want them to lose and be humbled…but damn, they are so cool and great. Thank you for being here. Your only job – besides playing great football – is to make sure you are Vets one day and beat the Rooks.
I’ll take this to the sidelines for a moment. You never know who is going to hear the call. VR has been a day special guests come out. They know it’s a spectacle. They understand it’s a pilgrimage worth making. I remember being in the middle of the frenzy of Seniors v. Juniors when a statuesque figure strolled onto the field from the parking lot. And someone said, “Is that Jack Ross?” And so it was. Not much else to say, but, was great to see Jack. In general, but especially on VR Sunday…because it’s not just an appearance. It’s a meaningful appearance. Thanks for coming out, Jack. LGM.
Word had come down on Saturday night that Lego had sustained an injury playing football, I think on Saturday night. Somewhere. Monsey. Lakewood. Who knows. An ankle. He tested it, but there was too much pain and he was out now for VR. The QB depth chart for the Freshies is, well, deep, and Avenger stepped right in. The Captain depth chart was also apparently deep as Lego had replaced Logic and I’m not sure who replaced Lego. Maybe no one did, but who needs Captains when you have beers. The beauty of Jewball is ROY is an all encompassing award. And while you got Avenger, Berk, DJCP, Schiffer, Landy, and Spiegel making plays on the field this VR Sunday, Lego makes sure to quite literally say hold my beer. The scene was then set. Blue Moons and Pink Juice on the sideline, all of a sudden the weather got cold. There were snow flurries earlier in the morning when temps were mild, but as the finals would begin, things got icy.
No clear winner in the Rooks game, but I checked the stats. DK and Oppen teamed up for 7 sacks. Avenger…yikes. Kagan, BZ, and Landy teamed up for 7 of their own. Dachs….geez. Landy came away with some crazy numbers. 3 TDs, a pick, and a sack. No Jewball in a tie game, but definitely an honorable mention. On the other side, we had Stats putting up 3 scores. So….you both were robbed.
The Finals became a classic VR with all the Vets present playing against all the Rooks present. Just like Mighty (kinda) dreamed of. Was it a VR for the ages? No. Everyone was exhausted and beat. I was pretty ripped on Pink Juice by the second half. I knew I had one role and that was to keep everyone hydrated! Zinn, Ernie (both Rook TDs), and Opes were so battered and broken – was exhilarating to watch them push themselves and stay in the game. You watch these dudes – it makes your run that extra mile in the gym, add the weight, finish the set. Regular normals don’t know. They just don’t know. I wish I could tell you that back and forth, but I’m stuck with the box score and the celebration with Mighty scoring the game winning TD. I’m seeing 3 sacks for Legs. I’m seeing 2 scores for Prime. Let’s give that VR Finals Jewball to Prime for 2 scores, but – like Storm – showing up for VR and knowing that another gear needs to be on display. He hated the Vets when he was a Rook. He hates the Seniors when he is a Junior. He hates the Rooks now that he is a Vet. He loves Jewball with his heart and soul.
Jewball, this Vet is once again stunned by where we are and how God blesses us with phenomenal Rooks year after year after year. Rooks, as much as we want to beat and humble you, we keep showing up and working because we can’t imagine a world where we don’t have the privilege of sharing a football field with you and competing (yes, that’s us competing! Shut up!) Much love to you all. Next season in Jerusalem.

– Jordan