Coming off their impressive tie (sarcasm), the Blunts NEEDED a win and Ducks loss to remain alive for the playoffs. Ducks were playing on the other side of the split field. Looming above all this was the Pray v. Prime reunion/grudge match where each wanted to prove what he could do without and against the other. And it looked like stalemate for most of the game. Yaron leaned very heavily on Prime (perhaps too heavily), giving the Blunts’ Captain carry after carry. And Prime ran with the opportunity, picking up a lot of yards and bludgeoning the Gorillaz defense that was without their lead killer, Legs. BLOP scored first but the difference in this game was the extra points (oh, the irony!). Yaron buried one in Ice Man’s chest, but the ball bounced out. Points left on the field. Pray answered back every time, mostly with his legs. But once again, BLOP got in the endzone and took the lead. This time it was Jordan unable to haul in an extra point. The Gorillaz tied it up and finally got that critical extra point to take a lead. It was Zada hiding in plain sight and uncovered to nab the loft from Pray. Another mistake on Blunts’ resume. But Blunts were in never say die mode and took the lead one last time. The rest of the game for the BLOP….not pretty. Instead of stepping on the the throat of the Gorillaz and putting up a point that would put the game out of reach from the Gorillaz and seal a win, with 20 minutes left and 3 possessions over that period…..Blunts failed to score. On their last possession, Pray went straight run down the left sideline and Jordan could not keep up or catch him. Yaron took the ball last with a chance to tie, but the game ends on a jump ball between Jordan and Irv that Jordan couldn’t handle. No picks by Yaron. He throws 3 (2 Storm, 1 Ice). Pray threw a pick and ran 3 in. He was the man. Jewball to him.
*UNUNDEFEATED
An Ode to the Blunts of Prime
*A bird, flightless, plucked from its nest
Burning, High/stressed, embracing the test
Some questions unanswered and warnings unheeded
Draft Night, tension, the brownies unlabeled
Slight trash apprehension, a crowning is fabled
With Ice-Man and Stormy, a chip is conceded

Begin with the munchies, ready to feast
Defending like swiss cheese, from greatest to least
Bad starts can happen, a wound can be treated
Two down, still winless, doubt – it did creep
The story grows spinless, you sow what you reap
Mistakes and regrets, a mantra repeated

Deep Kuts, the sequel, a blow to the chin
Popmpous yet feeble, and bowing to Zinn
No ifs, ands, or butts, our buts firmly seated
Caught it, Prime did, now tied in a knot
Afforded more time, with one final shot
A rivalry next that could not be more heated

A wing and a prayer – is how the dream died
A team without hope is a team that is fried
Yaron should have lied more, LeBron should have cheated
The end, it approaches, a feeling that sucks
Puffing on roaches, hunting for ducks
A lone prime objective, to go un undefeated.

As far as playoff clinching, the Blunts loss to the Gorillaz did not end up mattering since the Ducks beat the Reapers. The 2023 BOP remain the lone undefeated team in League history. The Ducks won but lost BK for the season with the distal bicep tendon tear. Heal up, BK! Gronk gets the Jewball for the guest appearance at QB for the Ducks. They won this one handedly. Saw Tommy make some beautiful TD catches. Without Mighty and Ross, the Reapers could not put up points. Steveo starting them off with a score right away, but it was a barren wasteland after that. 1 TD and 5 picks for Feit. Steve-O the only TD….first score and only score. Some say the win was because of E who came in for BK and the Ducks took off. From line judge to savior. Ducks go on season defining, playoff spot seizing run…Gronk throws 4 TDs….2 Tommy, 1 Ernie, 1 Special K….almost everyone has a pick, but DK had one for 6.
The late game was a barn burner. 7-7 final, so….no Jewball (staying true to the alleged rule, but I did see recaps where I did give one for a tie due to special circumstances, but it’s been a long while) – however honorable mention due to the insane numbers for Avenger. Pray was sacked 4 times by Kut. Yaron threw 6 but was picked 3 times. Avenger threw 2, caught 2, rushed for 1, sacked Yaron and picked him twice (one of em for 6). I won’t remember many Jewball games as the years go on, but I think this one will stick.

Week 16 Part I
With great football comes great recapsibility. Steveo is not to blame for this terrible opening line. But he is responsible for the following…
Weather was great as the players took the field at Hewlett High School on an unofficial Jewball Sunday. One-man down, Stats came in to save the day to even out the game with Jordan. Unfortunately, the short bus had not arrived yet and Special K was nowhere to be seen. Maybe it was in a different school district, but regardless he was not coming. The Commish sat the game out to keep the game even at 6s where Yaron started with the ball with one of his favorite WRs Goldberg, the Power Ranking Vampire aka Stats von Count, Spira, BZ, and the Real Slim Sammy. In the first drive Yaron connects with a beautiful pass over Steve-O and behind everyone to Stats who continues his hot streak this season to put the first score on the board. Rabin answered back with a pass to Steve-O and with a few spin moves and a broken tackle takes it down the field to balance the score. After that Yaron would bring it down the field but could not score against the defense of both O bros, Stella, Rabin, Kut, and Pray. Rabin did give them several chances throwing picks to BZ, who had a day, and finally a short pass to Stats and missed easy flag grabs, led to more stats and a 2-1 lead for Colors.
Rabin moving the ball fairly well, along with trick plays and runs with plays, sent BZ another ball his way, BZ racing to the endzone with Stella close behind, pulls ahead for a point as Stella’s Hamstring fell off making him look like the absent TBD. Earlier, J had walked off into the abyss with his fist pumped in the air, to the background of 80s music so the game was left with an odd count yet again. While the discussion to end the game, or go with an official defender, was underway, Sam went looking for his father at the convenient store, where they must have restocked the milk by now, and the game went on.
Down 3-1. Dark had the ball, but there was a major difference, there were no lineman. A dead/rush count in effect, as Jabroni reminisced about the Dark Ages he never experienced, Rabin returned back to a decade where he had no pressure and new cleats. No pass was in the ground and there were some beautiful balls thrown. The game was tied up quickly after a nice TD pass, and pick, and a beautiful run by Pray which he turned into a cross field bullet pass lateral to Kut to bring dark back in the game.
From there on out it was a fun and friendly shoot-out, both teams spreading the ball and racking up stats (lowercase). In the final moments of the game, tied at 7s, Yaron had one more drive to make it happen, but dark made the necessary stops. Rabin going with schoolyard “get open” plays, moved the ball downfield and again hitting Steve-O on the flag route where he takes it to the house for the W. A combined 7 TDs, 2 picks, 1 TD thrown, and a sack for the O bros all possible to the never-give-up attitude of a Jewball OG, throwing like Esiason and possibly retiring those cleats, of Rabin. Jewball for the GOAT.
I’ll take it from here, Wizard….
Week 16 Part II
We start with a little old school Jewball Recap moralizing from the soap box. There was controversy before, during, and after the game about Mike. I bring this up not to exacerbate it, but only to hopefully alleviate it. Though I may only be exacerbating. Here is what I will say about the Kid: He clearly hates the cold. Cali native stuck on the east coast and the low temps get under his skin and invade his soul. I don’t think he’s exaggerating how miserable the cold makes him. And I stand by and support his position that he has plenty of times stood out there in the cold and either played part time or hardly at all. He’s been a trooper at times. But….I will also say this… it’s not enough. We aren’t judged here by how much we do relative to how little we could potentially do. We are judged here based on the totality of what we do and how we do it. Compared to nothing and no one. The more you give to Jewball, the more you get. And conversely, the more you take from Jewball, the more you lose. Mike has given to Jewball. He started off like Rook and Waldo. Super interested by what he saw going on from a distance. Itching to become one of us. A very promising sign as he stood on the sidelines, waiting to get in, watching and being hopeful. Learning from Beast, talking football. It all looked so rosy and bright. But something did get lost along the way. At this point it doesn’t matter what. We all know the chat stuff, on field stuff, communication stuff. The fact is, Mike, you are one of us….and you are not too far gone. We are not beyond resolution, but it takes both sides. We all have to make sure our Jewball balance sheet always reflects more giving than taking. Kid, you have to start fresh with us – prove yourself on and off the field. And my hope is that this allows Jewball to give you a fresh start and…lay off you a bit 😏
This preamble is a long, pedantic, and circuitous way of saying Gorillaz came into Week 16 a bit discombobulated. Their disposition matched the field’s. Hate to make Feit right and God bless him for not sending me an “I told you” so text….but I would have sworn that the sun would have melted the snow from the prior week and LHS turf would be both ours and clear. It was ours. One end zone and twenty-five yards were shoveled to make a short soccer field and a pile of snow was built like a battlefield mound just beyond the 25. The beauty of Jewball after 23 years is….you always need to find new ways to adjust, to make it work, to plow through. You can do this year after year and no matter how long you persist…you’ve never see it all. This was a first. So everyone got to doing what they do best. Mighty and Opes grabbed shovels and starting digging us out. Yaron started using his Beautiful Mind and calculated that a 60-yard field would work (15 yards shorter than our usual) and lay down the cones – and Jordan started yelling at everyone trying to help. Thank you, Might, Oppen, and Yaron for setting up the field. I did shovel the hashes, btw – so it wasn’t just yelling.
And when all the field prep was done…it was time for Reapers v. Gorillaz. The Reapers were the Top Guns of Draft Night…in that everyone was wrong about them. The Reapers lost draft night. That was murmurs, whispers, and TBI gossip. But the hell with the rumor mill – These dudes show up! Speaking of showing up – where was Irv? Rook had already dropped the Mike and his team was still short one. Irv eventually came looking like Timmy Tim…skipped the mandatory stretches and hopped on the field. Can’t miss those stretches, Irv. Opening play with Pray over center for the 2-1 Gorrilaz….Irv gets a step on Ross on a post to the middle of the field. Perfect pass….and right through the wickets. Would have made a huge statement. Would have likely been a score. Would have changed the entire dynamic of the game for Gorillaz and settled everything down. Instead, it compounded everything. Sorry, Irv…was that kinda day. See you Sunday. Bring it.
Meanwhile, Feit has only been building and gaining momentum with his squad. The QB has shown that he has a non-stop motor – and I’m talking about his mouth on the sidelines. Just kidding (I mean, not really). But for real – he’s playing really good football, and as the weeks progress and Reapers keeping sowing wins, Steveo is looking more and more like a….well…..a draft wizard. Feit is making passes that no one else makes. Not that he is the most talented QB in Jewball. He isn’t. He knows it. But right now…he’s the master of touch (relax, PJs). It’s not just the high and tight fastball to Goldberg for the TD on a slant. It’s the looping sky-high arch of a pass to Logic in the back corner of the endzone. It’s the passes that meet his receivers at the exact right moment whether they are on a cross or a fly. Keep this dude in mind come awards season. His story is a great one (speaking of fresh starts that no one saw coming). From irreparable Feet to incredible feats.
Another great performance in this game was that of the line judges. One in particular. When Rook picked Feit in the endzone, Jordan was right on the spot making the call. Didn’t give anyone time to argue whether it was a catch or not a catch. Jordan knew that the point of the line judge was to show authority. By making a definitive call so that the game would not be interrupted by incessant arguments and petty bickering. Everyone stayed cool and accepted the call. No one lost their mind. The line judge concept once again proved itself to be a worthy addition to Jewball and Leagues. Although at one point Jordan’s fellow line judge, Yaron, left his post because he said he was lonely – which is cute – but on the very next play there was a call needed right where he stood before.
Oh, btw, the Reapers crushed the Gorillaz. We start with they are great team. We start with Solo in the short sleeves totally bought in. We advance to he and Oppen menacing QBs with a boisterous spirit. We add a very talent receiving core lead by an MVP caliber Mighty. We consider Feit playing his best football and being his best self. And then we have Goldberg who was just the top player out there that day and gets the Jewball. I know this because he told me. But now I see he had 2 TDs and pick, so checks out. And we end with….poor Pray. The two time MVP might have won this game if his players….y’know….caught the great passes he threw. But they didn’t. They seemed to drop or misplay them all. I presume some catches were made, but they were few and far between. Gorillaz go to 2-2. Reapers remain undefeated at 4-0-1.
Logan must have read the Rambam’s Hilchos Teshuvah between Week 12 and Week 16. Not only does he show up to any icy field, not only does he show up to an icy field without sleeves, not only does he play, not only does he dive on the first play of the game (to make a hell of a catch), not only does he cut himself on the ice and bleed from his well-tone arms the entire game, but he does all that without saying….you don’t fucking know me, mother fuc*ers (yes, I cleaned up the second f-bomb because the context was different). Talk about a full and complete Teshuvah!
It was physical ball last Sunday (wow…writing a recap between games is a cool thing…I should do this more often 😐). The short field contributed to the intensity and immediacy. The whole experience felt surreal. Disorienting, but in a good way. The need to constantly orient demanded a heightened concentration level and focus. Mental toughness was at a premium. Yaron had Prime, Zinn (back from the IR), Logan, Kut, Bert, and Whiskey, and Pray lined up with Dobs, Justin, Kagan, The Rook, Tom, and Jordan. Early on, Prime was picking on the Rook, who still looked shel-shocked from the beat down he had recently emerged from in the early game. Sometimes it’s hard to wash off a loss in sports, day to day or even week to week, but Jewball often demands you do it minute to minute. Yaron took a fairly quick 2-1 lead. Prime rushed for 1 and Zinn caught one deep getting behind Pray. At the half it was 3-2 Yaron as he connected with Logan just before halftime. After some soul-searching in the locker room, Pray’s crew figured out the defense and just got gritty with it. It’s an old cliché, but in this case it was true: Pray’s team just wanted it more. OMG! Just kidding! Yaron threw some mind-numbingly bad picks that let Pray back in the game….none worse than a floating heave that he threw blindly to no one while getting sacked that landed in Dobs’ arms. Was Dobs second pick of the day. Dobs also put up a point and nearly had another one on an awesome leap in the middle of the endzone, but the ball glanced off his fingertips. His defense was also stellar, holding up Zinn so the phenom could not break free and break one off, and diving to knock away a big 3rd and short pass to Kut. Jewball to him for the inflated stat line. Shoot….I gave away the ending. Jewballs are for winners and this means Pray won. The QB who was plagued by drops in the League Game was blessed with a bounty of caught balls in the late game. Pray, who was also clearly rattled by the early game, hung in the there and hung tough. He ran when he needed to. Picked up some critical first downs by inches in pivotal moments when his team needed a leader and a back to jump on. Down 3-2 with a quarter of football left, he found Kagan in the back of the endzone to tie things up, right? And then took the lead when Rook was left alone deep. He even challenged Zinn on a deep ball and stuck with him stride for stride, knocking the pass away at the last second. Yaron and co. did not score for the last 30 minutes of the game due to such relentless defense, with Tom in particular picking up some big time sacks and applying pressure on every play. And just generally, Pray’s team utilized that sports intangible known as momentum….it swung wildly in this one. Yaron’s crew was losing their cool as Pray’s crew was gaining their confidence on route to a comeback dub.