Is there such a thing as a perfect Jewball Sunday? If there is one – and we’ve experienced such things – it starts with football. Of course. Football is the blood in our veins. It’s the force that flows through us and everything. From the arrival to the field, the groggy march from warm cars to cold sidelines, the stretching, the grunts of greeting to our fellow Jewballers. To the game itself – the shit talk, the beatings, the playmaking. And finally the result – whatever it may be – whether heartbreaking or exhilarating – followed by hugs, handshakes, more shit talk, and the hours spent analyzing and reminiscing. Maybe some footage shared. That’s a great Jewball Sunday. But…sometimes….sometimes the games are only the beginning. On rare occasions, the stars collide and the games are followed by an event of some sort that celebrates the other aspect of Jewball. It’s 4th dimension. That of secret society (note that I didn’t say cult). Like the annual Super Bowl BBQ, sometimes we get to meet up after the game. And it’s always great. Isn’t that the thing? Even a weak Jewball thing is pretty great. But, on November 17th, Week 7 of the 2024 Jewball Season, we played football – and then later that night gathered perhaps for the greatest night in Jewball history. Or at least the most uniquely great. That would be the Rook 7B.
But the day started off with the business of football. With the Reapers coming in at 1-0 and the Blunts coming in at 0-1. Would the Reapers get off to a really promising start after the skepticism of draft night? And would the Blunts get off to a really unpromising start after the hype of draft night? The Blunts lost their first game to the Carnivores by playing ineptly at the start and never recovering. The team needed to prove that it was ready to take the game of football and the mission of it’s captain seriously. The Reapers just wanted to show that they were for real. Would Feit be able to play clean? Would the offense score enough points? Could a team built upon the foundation of a dominant line contend? The Blunts came out flat again. The irony is not being lost on anyone. A team based on the theme of weed smoking…plays like they are high. Kinda dazed and confused. For the early part of the game, Oren was the only one competing. Doing his long ass monkey armed darndest to keep his team in the game. Getting the sideline and pulling flags. Sacking Feit twice. Forcing turnovers. The game was scoreless for the early stretch. Reapers scored first with a TD to Mighty, but it seemed like BLOP would break through. The big play was right around the corner. And then it happened. A Storm streak down the left sideline and a 45 yard perfect strike that Storm pulled in….and then lateraled back to Ross for the unearned pick. Storm had no idea how he did it or why it happened….he’s never done anything like or remotely close to that in all our years playing together. So the answer is….Blunts are just not up to speed and when you are a team in disarray…..it just creates chaos. I mention the unearned pick by Ross, but this was a day where he would earn much, including a Jewball. What a game the kid had. So far….Steveo is like that GM who looks like a genius (or wizard) because everything he touches or tries or mixes or matches….hits. Solo is his best Solo. It’s Week 13 and Mighty is still healthy and putting up big numbers. Feit – good for a inexplicable pick here and there – but mostly on point – throwing a clean ball and showing that he can make all the throws. In Week 7 he made many of those throws to Ross, who had 12 receptions for 106 yards, including a TD and a clutch P6. The BLOP did score, but it was always catch up. The scoring began on nice deep cross pass from Yaron to Jordan which Ice Man punched in on the next play. Unfortunately, the Ross P6 came a possession later, negating the score and keeping the Reapers at a safe distance. Ice Man would score again, and the Blunts would get a final shot to win the game with a score and an extra point, but the drive stalled – and Blunts stay winless while the Reapers remain undefeated.
The other early game was Pray v. Dachs, and it looks like Dachs had a very good game, but Pray had a flawless game. I’m just gonna guess that Dachs threw some really nice passes that people couldn’t catch, and it was just enough for him to lose 5-4. Pray wins the game and the Jewball – 3 TDs thrown, no picks, and he ran in 2. Kut supported the effort with a TD reception and 2 sacks, and BZ had 3 sacks. So that’s all….no one else on their team did much. Except for Daveo…whose heroics for the day were just starting. He picks Dachs thrice! And adds a receiving TD. With stats like that….you get a Jewball. But….he was just getting warmed up.
There was a late game between Bron and Pray, which ended in a tie. No Jewball, but come get your stats.
Now, let’s get to the main event.
For me, it’s for sure a season of reflection. It has been for the past 5 seasons or so, but for sure this one – as it marks the end of an era. One thing that has been clear since the Revolution is that we are pushing the limits of what we are and what we can be. And you know what? Pushing limits is risky. It’s scary. The world – as we encounter it – preordained with borders and boundaries. We are sort of programmed to see lines everywhere. Between ourselves and others. THIS is your family! THEY are not. Between our community and others. THESE are your people. THEY are not. Between countries, colors, cultures, and on and on and on. See the lines, we are told! Respect the lines. Don’t test them or G-d forbid cross them. What I love about Jebwall is that it says fuck the lines. If you see them, ignore them. If you can’t ignore them, blur them. Or better yet, move them. Or better yet, obliterate them. Now, I’m not talking about kumbaya shit or holding hands with the rainbow coalition. I’m talking about just not buying into what is expected, acceptable, or even normal. All this by way of introduction to what the Rook did. His speech that night said it all. It’s worth a listen if you can. It’s brilliant in many way, but one particular insight that he proffered was this: I am not the first Jewballer to get married, but I am the first to invite everyone. He said this by way of explanation as to why we were where we were in that moment. It’s not because he got married. It’s not because we love him. It’s not because a sheva brachos was available. It’s because he saw a line that was still left unobliterated and he punted it into oblivion. Granted, there are few lines left. I think we are all better for it. I think the world is better for it. But the Jewball wedding was something we dreamed of, and it had never happened. And the Rook made sure it happened. So when Kut messaged me and said…Should we do a Sheva Brachos for Rook….I think I responded in 3 seconds with a It’s happening and immediately the vision came to me. We had the plans and the committee that day. We had the date, the flyer, the momentum, and thrill of it being born never let up. It was so obvious that it was meant to be. I knew it as clear as I’ve ever known anything.
B-sh, Daveo and Kut got to creating menus. I got to booting my dad from his house (father-son disrespect is big in our family). Steveo, PJs, Yaron rounded out the team and we just kept brainstorming and collaborating, from day one until set up. If you were there, you saw how it came together. I can do my Dayenu shtick I wanted to. The night occupies its own suite in the cavernous, sprawling resort that is my subconscious. I start with Steveo and Yaron arriving and we start opening the tables and throwing on the tablecloths. PJs arrives a little before Daveo. Daveo pulls up with Nechama and the car is jammed with….everything. Food, glasses, candles, centerpieces, plates, silverware. Nechama, Jewball to you for being the unsung superstar of that day. I probably only have a small sense of how much you did to make that night happen, but I do know, that whatever you did it was done with an incredible amount of skill, grace, and love. Thank you. Once Daveo got there, we got to real work – setting the table and laying out the stunning tables that Daveo designed. B-sh and Kut came and got comfortable in their element. Cutting, chopping, searing, grilling, washing, smearing, stacking, and plating. Two masters. And us mortals sit back, watch them at their craft, and can only marvel and be grateful. DJ arrives and gets his set up going. Kagan arrives….a stranger……by the end of the night he was a Jewballer! The place looked perfect. The vibe was pure Jewball slass. The Jewballers descended and the party started. The least awkward social event imaginable. We’ve never done anything like this before, but….how normal did it feel? Okay, so let’s take for granted now the excellent food, the ambience, the speeches from the heart, and porch scene. I think the night is encapsulated by the Sheva Brachos themselves. Ernie MCing and floating around the room with a full glass – allowing us to give blessings to the Rook and Jessica. To sing and bang the table and let our souls soar. To express with breath and sound and emotion what the Rook means to us. But a lot more than that. What WE mean to us. What this whole insane night means to us. Ashreinu! How fortunate are we! I mean…guys….how f*$king fortunate are we?? And then with that unanswerable question washing over us in a wave of awe and grandeur. As we are dumbstruck by the magnitude of a life that includes such powerful moments as the one being experienced – one that feels bigger than life, more expansive that this reality….perhaps a taste of the next world…We leave our chairs. We throw them aside. And it’s on. A circle of….family? No….Friends? Not really. We are one thing…and it’s the only description we know and it makes sense to no one but everyone who ever adopted the name. It’s a circle of Jewballers. Connected in way that defies all the preconceived lines. And we dance around our bride and groom and bring God into the room and say thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU.
I’m sure many of you have shared that video with outsiders. They don’t know what to think. These are people you play football with? They don’t understand. Why did you make them a sheva brachos? They can’t see how this fits into the world they occupy. They can’t process the configuration of lines. They watch us jump, and rally, and scream – and they know it’s special – this they know – but they can’t figure it out. Where are the lines? How do they intersect? They don’t see the boundaries, and borders, and buffers that they were told are so integral. They can’t comprehend the why and how? To that I selfishly say….good.

Ahh where to begin… Anyone? I guess I’ll say something. So week 6 a bunch of games happened but I can only tell you of the tale of one those games, a game of defense. A battle of 2 of the top two way players (yeah Dachs proved he could do it, but he should have been doing it since year one so he doesn’t count yet) Pray vs Zinn. The major difference between the two teams was an Iceman given the mission to shadow Zinn and not let him run by prays team or ever find the end zone on offense. Zinn led the dark team of Jack, Spira, Logan, Beast, Daveo, Deitsch. A strong team that doesn’t take shit from anyone. On the other side, Pray was backed by Ice, BZ, Justin, Zada, Steve-O, Tom. A formidable team that could pull a win out of hat.
Some back and forth action eventually led to Pray marching down the field methodically with short pass and curls and runs. At the red zone, run is dead, points in sight, pray reads his man running to the front right corner of the end zone. Scored!!! But by Zinn? Zinn, grabs the ball out of the air at the 1 and bring it 99 the other way for the first score of the game.
Pray now needs to score and after a few stalled drives by each team, he decided he needs to do it himself and hits a nice left side run. He makes it halfway through the field and is getting wrapped up and in desperation flips it back to Steve-O who passes the last defender and brings it to the house to tie it up. Colors defense stops Zinn and dark to set them up with the go ahead drive. Slowly taking it down field pray goes off on the run again and again gets wrapped up and tosses it back to Steve-O, this time to be ruled down, sitting atop Logan and taking an unexpected knee to the head… Sorry.

Still close to scoring he needs to throw another TD. And unfortunately he does, but this time a pick 6 to Logan to end the game and prove interceptions are better than sacks.

Jewball to Zinn, because when in doubt choose the QB and when you don’t remember much else you remember the plays he made.
Who’s in for week 7?