Month: January 2023

Week 14 – Recap

Score another one for the randomizer. Week 14 put on a show in the sunshine. Two close games and this recapper played in both. So, no excuse for any fuzzy details. Plus, no drama. So, no excuse for the histrionics. Let’s get to the football.
Prime was latest to pull up after 8, but no one is gonna criticize a man with a newborn at home for arriving late. It’s amazing these guys get out. By new rule: Prime is on Dark so Colors gets last licks. 
Dark takes the ball with Pray calling the plays. He lines up with Oppen, Jordan, Prime, Bert, Stats, and….is that a Singer sighting? The No. 1 pick returns after an ankle injury that kept him out for over a month! He tested it the prior TNF game and was ready to kill in Week 14. 
There was some symmetry in the game as it begins with Dachs trying to float one over Jordan and the ball just didn’t have enough air under it. Jordan reaches up and begin his day with a pick. Dark starts its day with a bonus possession. The possession did not turn into points. Pray was bit unsure of himself as he continues to grit his way to full speed football. Would that self-doubt translate into an L?
Dachs got himself right quickly. With weapons like Dax, Storm, Gronk, Beast, O, and the newly platinum Stella at his disposal, it was only a matter of time. With his patented mix of stop and go outs, Colors got on the board first with yet another Dachs to Dax TD. But Pray bounced right back. First with a P6 to knot things up and 1 and then mixing in QB runs with….QB runs, Pray made it to the red zone where he rolled right and threw left. A 20 yard strike to an open Oppen who made the first TD of his Jewball career look easy. Dark takes a slim lead.
At this point, the shadows had disappeared from the field and it was blindingly bright. The back and forth middle portion of the game began. It was a punch for punch affair. And by punch, I mean both TDs and picks. Was not the cleanest game for our esteemed QBs, with Dachs throwing 4 interceptions and Pray tossing 3. In the midst of the picks, Dachs went to Tabak like Purdy to Kittle in the left corner of the endzone. But, in the end, after a Storm TD – putting him one behind TD Leader Zinn who is out again tomorrow – it was 3-2 Colors with 10 minutes left and Dachs with the ball. As broken down on Praymakers, Dachs made his second underthrow of the day over Jordan and Jordan left the ground to get this one, giving Dark a pulse. On the next play, with Pray running 70 yards down the sideline and Singer turned into Miley Cyrus. Lead-blocking like a wrecking ball. This got Dark down to the 4. Screen out to Prime and Prime battles his way in. A bit of controversy on this one as Dax wound up with Primes flag as both of them were in the end zone, but it could not be determined if the flag was pulled before Prime had three balls in. There wasn’t enough evidence to overturn the non-call, so that was the game tie-er. With time expired we went college and it was Singer time once again. Pray to Singer gives Dark the lead for good as Dachs’ drive stalled. A strong game, but the win goes to the QB that made one fewer mistake. And that’s football sometimes. Jewball to Singer for the sparkling comeback. He does the big stat plays with the big plays that don’t show up on in the box score. Jump on his back and you will have a lot of Ws. Welcome back, brother.
Game 2 was equally tight, with a comeback in store as well. All aboard the Perla train! As White was given team Dark and MK, Rook, Tom, Spira, DK, and Jordan to help him get his much coveted Ws. But in his way is a man who may not be as celebrated or trendy, but brings it every time he is on the field. And by “It” I mean unpredictability. Will it be picks and drops or pure and precise magic. Daveo was Late Man Standing so Yaron “9 Yard Line” Markfeld took ball first and proceeded to start the game just as Dachs did – by throwing a pick to Jordan. But Jordan decided to decline the gift and handed the ball back to its intended recipient Waldo. With the drive kept alive, Jordan kept getting beat, biting on a Yaron run and getting beat over the top by Waldo. Rook started at safety and also got beat early. The result, a bullet to Yaron over the middle and a TD for the Godfather of Jewball. As he does quite well, Perla calmed the situation and began a methodical drive. White Goodman does everything methodical. Riding mostly Rook’s speed and shiftiness, Perla directed Rook to run along the sideline! The advice was sound and contributed to Rook having a 134 yard day and a score. Perla did not complete a pass over 12 yards the entire day. But it didn’t matter. A W is a W and Perla was doing enough to give his team that win. Including rising up along with Kut on a jump ball and coming down with a pick. In addition, he threw two TDs to Tom and a one to Jordan that Jordan slid for and brought in an inch off the turf. 4 scores is usually enough. But on this day it wasn’t. It’s a cliché, but Yaron’s Colors team just wanted it more. Waldo, Whiskey, Storm, Kut, Daveo, and Rabin wanted it more. They played with fire and aggression – blocking down field, pressuring Perla, and pulling flags. Dark was missing flags and getting pushed around. Dark had a second half 4-2 lead, but Yaron and Colors kept coming. TD to Daveo. Bam! TD to Whiskey! Smash! TD to Storm. Stat! It’s Yaron with  the win and the Jewball, as he rallies his squad to victory -throwing 5 TDs to 5 different receivers. Very special day for our man in Panama.

Week 13 – Jewball League Week 4 – Recap

2023 began with the kind of weather anomaly that no longer surprises us. I’ll admit it scares me. Like 50 degrees and sunshine for a League Week 4 at the dawn of the New Year. It was BOP v. Top Guns at 8am followed by Lionhearts v. Roll Tide. This was our first League week of rematches. In League Week 1, Top Guns were coming in high and mighty off the draft, with Feit appearing to have stolen first round talent in each of the first four rounds. They ended up losing to BOP, despite being fully loaded. BOP put up 4 scores to TG’s 2 and the shine was immediately off TG. The rematch was important to both teams. BOP was embracing the full return of Pray (he had played QB only in the prior League Game), but were without Goldberg and MK – each scoring threats and defensive stalwarts. It was certainly an opportunity for Prime, Steveo, Tabak, and Vegh, and especially the Playmaka to shine. Top Guns was looking to get back in the win column and back to .500, coming off a beatdown by the Roll Tide last time out. There was reason for hope. Munch was back in and Mighty was able to stick around for the whole game. However, the no. 1 overall pick was still sidelined with his ankle injury (Epilogue: Singer was back on the field Tuesday night and looked like he is officially back). It looked to be all Top Guns in the early going. The defense was holding, anchored by a Dobs/Salem rush and Munch in the middle. Pray, due to his rehabbing status, and good pressure,  could not break off on his signature runs, and Top Guns was generally doing a good job swarming the receivers. Feit was moving the ball relatively well. As the team is constructed, he is loaded with weapons who can get open – the question is will he find and put the ball on them. And he was. He began the day with some chunk yard runs, but eventually returned to form as a throwing QB and found his guys. The middle of the field was his for the taking and Mighty, Jack, and Jordan were doing their jobs (sorry, Dobs). On their second possession of the game, a drive resulted in a score. A really pretty timing pattern to Jordan in the front of the endzone – the ball thrown on a dime to Jordan spinning to find it waiting for him. Stat hater Mighty secured the extra point and it was 7-0 Top Guns. More of the same ensued with BOP’’s drives ending pointless and TG finding ways to move the ball. Soon enough, Feit lofted one up to Jack who was blanketed by Steveo, but you can only do much against a major height and wingspan advantage. Perfect ball from Feit to take advantage of that, er, advantage and with a Mighty extra point…..it’s 14-0 Top Guns. All is right in the Top Gun world as the first half comes to a close.
I honestly don’t remember how he scored, but early in the second half, Birds of Prime made an appearance and Nova’s dad put up points. I’m assuming it was some sort of nasty catch and run with Prime stiff arming everyone into submission. With  the extra point missed, BOP was back in the game, but Top Guns were still well in control. That is until things went out of control. As we have seen this week in the night League in games of even more significance to their team’s fate…..picks kill. Inexplicable picks hurt. Inexplicable picks that turn into P6’s are devastating.
Steve had been embarrassed by Jack earlier. Steveo has no ego, but a lot of pride. And in big spot, he came up huge. Feit did his job. He delivered the ball to Jack in the middle of the field. Right in the chest. Jack has very good hands, but has been taken to task before about his toughness. Just looked like Steveo out-toughed him on this pass. Steveo knocks a ball free that Jack was trying to secure and it floats up in the air. Pray had been racing in from safety because Pray is not one to stand around watching. And his aggressiveness was rewarded with a ball that floated directly into his hands. I don’t think he even broke stride. Just took it like he knew it was coming and never looked back. Like a bolt of lightning streaking across the sky carrying a football and his team’s dreams into the endzone. With an extra point missed, BOP was down 2, 14-12. Top Guns didn’t hand their heads exactly, but doubt had to be creeping in. Luckily, Feit did an excellent job of regrouping the team and orchestrated a very productive drive. Mighty fought for a first down by catching a ball in a ton of traffic. And Daveo, who had been having a hell of a day on defense, was brought in for offense and immediately made an impact. He picked up a lot of yards for TG on that critical drive and eventually capped it with a sweet TD pass from Feit. Top Guns was back in charge with ten minutes to go. Feit had put up three scores and 3 extra points. With the defense Top Guns has, that should have been enough. But then Tabak happened. Tabak started off a little slow. For his first trick he simply got behind Jordan who was fooled by the QB roll out and run. Pray does not run. He lofts it to Tabak, who was lead nicely and continued the route…..and  there was a late TD for BOP. For his second trick, he streaked across the back of the endzone and caught a bullet of a pass over Jordan right in front of him with arms raised and tipping the ball, full extension reaching up and toe tapping to keep it in. That was the extra point. Holding on to a two point lead and five minutes left, Top Guns had an opportunity to ice the game on offense – as they were getting last possession. Solo and Kut (who was hobbled early on but gritting through it) went into attack mode and it was clear to BOP that something special was happening. The Top Guns offense sputtered to a standstill in their last two possessions. It was going to be up to the defense. With Pray needing to lead his team the full length of the field to take the extremely late lead, he went to work. On the first or second play of the possession, Pray rolled out to his right. Once again, the defense respects the sideline run and focuses on that. And once again…..Tabak is behind the defense. But unlike with his prior TD, which was a 30 yard lofted pass, Pray unloads a katyusha rocket to Stella – coming off the week his daughter was born – and he is tracking this missile in full sprint. The ball comes in. He lays out his hands and makes the connection. There is no one there to stop him. BOP takes the lead. For his final trick, Tabak cuts to the middle of the endzone and bodies everyone up to battle for a pass in the crease and lays down the full smack of dominance. It was the game winner. A tremendous game. Jewball obviously to Stella for the most memorable of New Year’s Day performances.
I will end this recap with the Mighty call stuff. The game was the game and it should not be effected by any controversy. It was heartbreaking loss for one team. A soaring win for another. But this was not a controversial game.
I was shellshocked after Game 1. I probably would have filmed. I probably would have drank more beer. I probably would have stayed. Instead, I did not film. I left early, covered in beer, sticky and stinking. What I did see through the haze of fumes rising from the fallout of Game 1, was Dachs absolutely kicking Yaron’s ass. As he kicked Top Gun’s ass the prior League Game. Now, what the last two games have in common are 1.) Roll Tide shows up and kicks ass. 2.) Their opponents have a lot of talent out. I say this: That’s called good drafting. Dachs drafted talent that stayed healthy and shows up. It’s part of sports. I believe they are the best team, but even if they were not – what always matters is who shows up. You can’t win games on paper. Welcome to my Top Guns world. That said, Roll Tide just might be unstoppable. I know Dax dropped a couple early, but that certainly never mattered. Yaron had nada. Dachs had Zinn. And Waldo making one hand catches (btw, shout out to Waldo who is always good for an old school post TD football spike – a Jewball rarity). And the box score says Dax put up 2 more. The defense is crazy. Oppen Legs is crazy. It’s just an excellent excellent team. If anyone beats them and gets to Doma, round of drinks on me. Dachs gets the Jewball for leading the charge.
Okay, although I feel like much of the steam is lost following the initial drama combined with TBI and some references on the chat…I’ll keep it succinct.
Mighty is Mighty because he is Mighty. Since the day he came to Jewball, he has shown me and us things that were never dreamed of. He was a superstar in a pedestrian game. He found a home with us and he really does love me and us. And that’s one hundred mutual. That will never change. I’d literally take a bullet for him. He is Mighty because he doesn’t listen to bureaucrats like me. He is Mighty because he has a problem with authority. He is Mighty because you aren’t gonna tell him what he can’t do. He is Mighty because Fuck the System. He is Mighty because he always open and just him the damn ball. So….that’s what I’m up against. I sent him a message once upon a time, trying to get across what I tried to get across grotesquely on the field last week and more eloquently in my statement to TBI. I re-sent that message on Sunday afternoon. But…again….if Mighty was gonna concede….he wouldn’t be Mighty. And we need him to be Mighty. So….again….that’s what I’m up against.
Everything I’m about to say is not a chiddush. It’s in long messages to the chat. It’s been discussed. I found them before I wrote this. So, this isn’t me manipulating the story. This is me reminding. This is me reiterating. This is me encouraging behavioral changes based on established rules.
If Mighty was pushed down by someone on route to get Pray on that throw to Tabak, there were only two viable options for him:
1.)     Make sure everyone around you knows you have a call immediately, so the play is stopped dead in its tracks. Once upon a time, I made a rule (that no one cares about) regarding pulling your flag and waving it and all that. No one does that. Fine. But the point remains and the message is there for your review. It applies exactly to this situation. If anyone cares enough to review it, PM me and I will send it to you. We aren’t calling back long completed plays because someone claims they called something before or during the play. That doesn’t mean we are saying they are lying about making the call or lying about the penalty. We are saying that if you want a long completed play called back, you better have been screaming about it immediately. If screaming is not for you, great – don’t make the call. I know Mighty made a point about Tabak earlier in the game and his push off penalty call. That’s a much shorter play (time-frame-wise) than the bomb to Tabak, but it was my impression that Tabak was screaming right away. It seemed to me he knew a penalty happened but didn’t know the name of it, so he was just screaming that something happened. It was loud, clear, and toch k’day dibur. We respected it. Again, I respect Mighty and believe that he said something and that something happened, BUT….we can’t have these long impactful plays happen to completion and only then find out that someone made a call way back before the ball was thrown. It’s just bad for Jewball. It’s a bad look. And to Feit and Mighty…I say…I could be wrong… and perhaps respecting things such as this would make Jewball better. I just don’t agree with that. Give me 2 more seasons of my madness, and then the new regime can fix what I’ve broken.

But now….let’s get to the best option – for most of us, the only option – this is Option 2:

2.)     Realize that the call is weak and inconsequential to the play itself and for the good of Jewball stay quiet, compliment Pray on the sick throw, Tabak on the crazy day, BOP for the crazy comeback, and get back in the huddle with determination to win the game on offense.
That’s it – those are the two options on a play like in a game like ours. I am not just speaking to Mighty here. I know the kind of guys we have. I know the above represents the Jewball sentiment. Join us. 

😊