Week 12 Recap
Not all Bowl Games are created equal. I would argue that the Turkey and Jesus Bowls are here to reconnect us to the game’s purest essence. To bring us back to the schoolyards where we first fell in love with the sport. The upcoming 2023 Bowl is here to remind us of its inevitable mortality. Of it being bound to the calendar and the strictures of time. That no year lasts forever. No season lasts forever. No player. Everything advances. We are all barreling toward some expiration date. Whether we actively perceive it or not – we are always on the clock.
I say this not to depress us at this most festive time of the year. The complete opposite. I say this to inspire us. How fortunate we are to be here and now and together. Think always about what we have built. From the party in Oceanside to Week 12 to the Jesus Bowl to Wednesday Night Lights to 2 days of football this weekend. It’s a lot – and we’d all welcome more. Simple message: Appreciate it with your body, heart, and soul.
Before week 12, I sent out the teams and Rabin saw the teams – he wasn’t QBing – and he messaged me that he would sit out. He had a Chanukah party the night before – was gonna be absolutely frigid at 8am Sunday morning – and y’know….he’s 45 and was it worth it to come out to play WR? So I swapped him with Stats. Once that was done, I messaged him: Listen, we are at an age where we are not gonna be the first, second, or 3rd option. It’s crazy and annoying….but is where we are. If we think coming out is worth it only if we are the main attraction….we are never gonna come out. Our time has passed. Now we just enjoy hanging on when all the other guys our age are sleeping late after their holiday parties. Don’t give in to that voice. Always better to be on the field being ignored than not being on the field.
He wrote back: You’re right. Get me back in.
But it was too late.
Too late.
And that’s really what I’m getting at.
Living before it’s too late. Jewballing before it’s too late. Most importantly: Jewballing to the best of your ability before it’s too late.
This brings me to a big story from Week 12 – for me. I know we try to promote and celebrate and honor the history of our League and all that. I mean, I would guess for newer players – it’s a lot of talk. A lot of propaganda. Dachs is the QB now. He’s lighting up the field now. He doesn’t care that Marino was doing it ten years ago. Or Katzenstien 20 years ago. Zinn doesn’t care about what Yakir once did. Oppen doesn’t care about what B-sh once did. What matters is what is happening NOW. I get it. BUT Jewball is different. Because we don’t just talk about the past. The past is always present. That’s what I’ve seen. No one is more past than Rabin – and he was out there Wednesday night. Yakir played this year. B-sh hosted our party. Klink of the Golden Age got a baby gift as did Stella of the Dark Ages. BD hates Pray.
And in Week 12 of this 1st Year of the Enlightenment, after almost twenty years out of the Sunday game, Avi Spira played a real Jewball game. The past is the present. More to come, brother.
I’ve exhausted the appreciation angle. Let’s talk tachlis. It is a time of New Year’s resolutions and there is no resolution more abused than the resolution to get healthy and fit. But, let’s abuse it some more. Everything we want to do together here is premised on football. I admit, I’ve been a little grumpy lately on the chat. And if I dig down deep and find the root – it’s because – everything else is nice and cute – but when the chat and the extracurriculars start to feel primary and the football starts to feel secondary, it bothers me. When the injuries start piling up – it bothers me. When the football isn’t as good as it should be – it bothers me. And we can’t compensate for that with a party, a podcast, a chat storm, a baby gift, or wings. I get grumpy when it starts to feel like the football is taking a backseat. Maybe that’s just in my head. Just feels very noisy. I don’t want Jewball to become too noisy. This is my fault. I’m the commissioner. If the  noise to football ratio is out of kilter – that’s on me. We either need more football or less noise. Because I feel like the noise is distracting us from the primary purpose of Jewball. To get our asses on the field and challenge ourselves in the game of football. So, as the Jewball year turns to 2023, I urge us all to look inward and work on our football selves. Work on our noise-levels. Work on our fitness goals so that we can be on the field for a long time. So the past can be the present and the present can be the future.
Week 12 began with a request to confirm. Are we really playing tomorrow? There was even a poll. The Dachs bros were looking at the temperature dropping to below freezing and were not having it. Are we really doing this? For once, the chat was stoic. Everyone knew the Daxes were embarrassing themselves and no one wanted to touch it. Goldberg knew from experience and told them to just show up and play. And everyone did. Granted, Stats was late. He does come in from Brooklyn though, so I’ll give him a p- No, I won’t. Stats, you need to come on time. They say that coming on time and warming up prevents drops. Pray once told me that. Not sure if it’s true. I did get you your donuts, though.
It was Pray v. Dachs in the early game and the parking lot gate was locked due to it being Christmas. Thank the Jewball Gods the field was still accessible. Not for us, but for the dudes in red and green playing on the grass blasting Bon Jovi alongside a folding table set with Jack Daniels and a grill. They were awesome. That’s pure.
Yeah, it was damn cold Sunday morning, but the sun eventually peeked over the horizon and bodies started moving – and it becomes about the football again. No one ever regrets coming out (except Kill on Monday) and the mental edge you have for the rest of the day and week is priceless. Turned out the aforementioned cold-weather-weary trio of Dachs, Dax, and Goldberg went OFF in Week 12. Dachs seemed completely unaffected by the weather and was throwing dazzling passes all over the place. This man is the best QB in Jewball right now. Dax mmay have reluctantly shown up to his Bar Mitzvah, but once he did he leined, I mean played so beautifully. The guy did exactly what needs to be done in the freezing games. That is…RADIATE ENERGY. BRING THE HEAT. He did that. And Goldberg. Fucking Goldberg! Fucking Evan Goldberg! The face you want to punch. The voice you want to punch. The personality you want to punch. He has no business being this good at football. Talk about someone who has challenged themselves and came out on the other side of that crucible, just better. The guy was OUT for rain. OUT for cold. And one day he said to himself – I don’t want that to be me anymore. And it’s not him anymore. I filmed some of his exploits. He had 3 TDs and a one handed, well defended, falling down sideline catch that was beyond belief. I mean, Zinn makes those catches. Shuie makes those catches. Goldberg is supposed to be complaining about pass interference when the throw was to the complete opposite side of the field and no one is even near him. How did this guy become a stiff-arming, play-making, power ranking behemoth! Thank you for exemplifying what we want from every Jewballer, Goldberg. Limited noise. Maximum football. Jewball to you.
I’m making it seem like it was a one-sided game. It wasn’t exactly. The final was 6-5, but Pray scored 2 very late (and I think one of them even after the game was over). Zinn put up 2 just by walking on the field. But in a game where even Zinn was dropping passes, it is safe to say that Pray has become Yaron. Guys just not catching his balls. His WRs left points on the field. That is except for my man, PJs. PJs who recently made the move from BOP to Lionhearts, showed why he and Pray are very often connected in the minds of Jewballers. PJs career as a receiver was in many ways resuscitated because of Pray. Pray finds PJs. Pray trusts PJs. And PJs does not let Pray down. When no one was doing Pray any favors last Sunday, PJS kept him in the game with catch and runs that defied reason. Extremely proud of the effort PJs put in on Sunday. Good hands. Good elusive speed after the catch. And he’s becoming a very effective pass rusher. PJs gets an L on Sunday, but I think it’s a game he’s been waiting for for a long time. Way to show us what a comeback looks like.
Game 2 deserves better than I’m about to give it because…..I’m hungry. It was an excellent battle between Yaron and Perla. The randomizer nailed this one. Rook, Storm, Jordan, MK, Kut, and Rabin with Yaron. Prime, DK, E, Ross, Pray, and Tom with Perla. I recall Yaron going up 2 early and perhaps a month ago Perla’s team would have sunk their heads and given in. But we are amidst full swing White Goodman Mania here in Jewball and his teams stick with him. As Perla told him team after the early deficit: I earned this body, and I built this temple with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little can-do attitude… and yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman. Now, Let’s do it.
Right after Jack said that “there is no way he passes to me here,” Perla hit Jack for the first of his 3 TDs on the day. I feel like Perla is the guy that just lives to defy your expectations. If I wrote in the recap that Perla is a very good quarterback, but he has trouble flying, he would drop out of the sky and land on the field the next Sunday morning, look at me with a smirk, and say “He has trouble flying…” then casually take off his parka.
White did bring his team back. Taking advantage of some major confusion by Yaron’s defense – likely due to Yaron having a tendency to be confusing. No one should ever have to ask what a defensive jet sweep is. I’ll fast forward to the very end where we have a tie game and Yaron has final possession before OT. On 4th and 23 he throws cross the field to Jordan to pull out the desperately needed 1st down. MK picked up the next first down by lowering his shoulder into Prime. And eventually it was The Rook in the endzone. On this 1st Day of Christmas The Rook gave to me 3 TDs and a partridge in a pear tree. He gets a Jewball for that. Before we say to all a good night…..
NEW RULE!
The first team to have all seven players present on the field and ready to go will get to take ball last. There is always someone late or a little late. Well, that person now takes away last licks from his team. If every player is ready to go on time – the usual rule then…flip a coin or just decide all friendly. But there is now officially a penalty for the player who comes latest.
Happy New Year, Jewball.

The irony is that the Greeks represented enlightenment, which was very attractive to the Jews. It still is. Logic, reason, aesthetic beauty. Who could argue with that. The godliness in man is apparent. It’s seductive. It’s empowering. Faith is hard. Checking our ego is hard. Giving ourselves over to a higher power is hard. This was the battle of Chanukah beyond the battle on the field. Jewball faces that battle this weekend. With the back to back Maccabowl and Jesus Bowl in brutal conditions. Logic, reason, and the love of our physical bodies tells us to stay inside. But this is Jewball. We are built on faith. We believe that there is a higher calling. We do not do the sensible thing and give in to the pressures of an “enlightened” society. We do what’s difficult. What’s crazy.  Because we know better.

Week 11 featured good classic non League football. Both games were one sided, but it was clean, argument-free football, with players just putting in the work. I arrived to a tie game just in time to see a Rook pick of Dachs followed by a smokin hot TD pass from Yaron to Goldberg. Smokin hot Yaron was the theme of that game. And smokin hot Goldberg was the theme of the day. I filmed much of the game and it was close for a while. Think Storm on offense defending a Stats pick (welcome back Stats!) then tipping it to himself for a TD made it 3-2….but that was the last score Dachs would put up. The Rookie QB had his least effective day as Jewball QB and Yaron had one of his supremely on days where he not only poses for the cameras but thrills the crowd. He piled on a bit with Zinn doing Zinn shit. Taking the ball behind the line with the run pass option and being extremely dangerous at both. Although Yaron could get the Jewball, you know it’s Goldberg.

Game 2 was White Goodman’s Purple Cobras v. Pray. This game took place before the Jets tanked their season, btw. What is interesting about Perla is that he backs up his talk. He says winning is all that matters. He plays like it. He rallies like it. And his team buys in. Pray jumped out to a lead, scoring two TDs with Goldberg and one with Jordan. It was 3-2 Pray and it really looked like Perla would not be able to compete due to his limited range. Not that Ernie was having his best game, but he went down with an injury early and the complexion of the game changed. Rook joined Pray. Perla stopped cheering his team on from the sidelines on defense and joined the fray. Almost immediately, DK tied up the game with a block that turned into a P6.
The game was then decided on the line. DK and Salem v. Sam and Whiskey. Yes, one line is better than other, BUT this is no place for excuses. This is a place to challenge yourself and push yourself to get better and better. Stronger and more agile and more of a threat. And if you aren’t doing that or trying to do that, you are failing yourself and failing Jewball. This is what Goldberg was rightly enraged about last Sunday. Pray’s team failed themselves in Week 11. We couldn’t stop the screens and runs and slants and the simple but reliable offense Perla was running. DK caught 2 TDs and Prime had a run for the ages. It was Prime’s run that put the dagger in his BFF Pray, but it was DK doing everything to assure his team the win. Jewball to DK for an incredible performance.

Want to once again express my awe and gratitude. Wednesday was a continuance of the miracles and light of recent years. We are blessed. See you all at the Maccabowl tomorrow. Dress warm. I’ll bring the coffee and donuts.

Only because Jewball has mutated and spread its tentacles onto the edges of Tuesday nights did Week 10 of this season feel even remotely normal. Before we go further…..Week 10 : ( How are you here so fast? This season feels so new and truly as if its still trying to find its footing, and yet….we begin the 2nd half this week. Half our memories already in the books. Half our stats. Half our stories. The coolest thing about Jewball is that the games becomes blurs fairly quickly – it’s the people and the relationships that endure. Not only endure, but manage to become foundational anchors of our lives. So, while this season seems to (so far) be ill-defined, somewhat chaotic, and still needing its moments for the ages…..then think about the people. Was there Jewball before Zinn was scooting up to the field? Before Oppen Legs? Before Dachs to Dax? I don’t know…..those things feel as pre-destined as anything else And feel as epic as anything else. And they are certainly born only of  this season. Something to think about.
Back to Week 10 itself. As I was saying, while we under-the-radar added a new field to our Jewball pantheon (we played in Greis before, but pre-season and on the grass), it felt like a home game for many of our players who either have been there Tuesday nights to play or to watch. So let’s not miss an opportunity to recognize our blessings. Shehecheyanu v’kimanu v’higiyanu l’zman ha’zeh. We have added a field to our bio. The means by which we got there left something to be desired. Yaron put in the work speaking to Dom. Dom put in the work speaking to Reginald Whitmore Greis III, RWG3 spoke to Kenny who was supposed to unlock the gates at 8am. The plan was perfect! Except Kenny had gone out the night before with Solo. They both had at least 5 drinks. And while Solo could not get up for work the next day, Kenny did get up – just with a fifteen minute delay. That delay had us delayed. Had Mighty doing donuts in the parking lot. And Kut eating donuts in the parking lot. Had a mass of Jewballers congregated and revved up to go for a League week, descending on the field together k’ish echad b’lev echad. That unity did not last long.
The League Week peaked before the game. Our sheer numbers walking onto the empty field on a perfect football Sunday. Guys proudly wearing their team colors. Stretching, catching up, catching, setting up. Mighty screaming “Let’s go” because he had to leave at 9 for a Chumash Play and it was 8:20. The clouds were pregnant with rain and the field was pregnant with possibilities. Could Top Guns minus Singer and Munch even slow the roll of the Roll Tide? Could Yaron not cheat and ruin the BOP v. Lionhearts game? The answer to both questions was a resounding NO.
Roll Tide is a great team. A great team. They remind me of the old MVP teams that played Jewball to practice for the League. Meaning, they were playing Jewball but they weren’t Jewballers. They were mercenaries undercover with us. Now, did some of them become die-hard Jewballers? Of course. You won’t find guys who bleed Jewball lavender more than Snow and Snowpup, but in their time – they were not committed to our game. Roll Tide is. Roll Tide are OUR GUYS! And how cool is that? We have the guys that can win in the League! And they would rather win a Jewball championship than a League championship! Again – let’s take a second here. Let’s take a second and process this. Let’s process this Rabin and Kut and Oren and Steveo and all the guys who very rightly felt second (or third) class for a decade plus….. Shehecheyanu v’kimanu v’higiyanu l’zman ha’zeh!
Before the very last play which Mighty stuck around for, it was 6-0 Roll Tide and Feit had the ball for TG. With Mighty, TG kept it close on defense. On that final play before Mighty ran off, Feit threw a P6 to Rook. The game went off the rails after that. We all knew it would. TG would have needed to have a healthy lead when Mighty left to have a chance. RT is too high octane to not score multiple TDs on an undermanned defense. And so they did. The final was an embarrassing 31-0. Dachs ran 2 in, Dax caught one leaping about 4 feet…I’m sure Zinn put up points…It was a blur of a beatdown. When I dropped off the cookies by Dachs a week ago…he smiled, took them, and said “we are gonna beat your butts.” He knew it. I kinda knew it. But you always hope your team steps up and pulls off the Any Given Sunday miracle. We are going into Chanukah. The weak can beat the strong. The few can beat the many. You just need a miracle. Well, there was no miracle for TG on Sunday. The TG defense could not keep up with the RT offense. But what of the TG offense? A few seasons ago we had a What’s Wrong with Pray era when the former MVP could not win a game. Feit is a fierce competitor and student of the game. There were weapons there for TG. Even with the short handed team, there is no excuse to put up zero points. Unless TG can figure out it’s offense, this is going to be a long, extremely disappointing season for the No. 1 team on draft night. But the season is far from over. We all remember 193 from season one. A winless team that went to the championship. And all it took was hard work, believing in yourself, and coming together as team when the chips were down and everything was on the line. Just kidding! All it took was Yaron cheating! So, let’s get to BOP v. LH.
There came a point in the RT TG game where – at least for me – I started peaking over at the other game. My game had become a $#**show and, despite my QB valiantly trying to motivate our squad to stay focused and in it (I love that trait, btw), my mind was wandering. The only thing that kept me focused on our game was the prospects of violence. Otherwise, I was trying to get a sense of the other game. My sense was – BOP and LH were locked in intense combat. You could just feel the waves of energy emanating from their half of the field. The intensity was palpable. It looked like a great game. I saw people doing great things. Steveo, Vegh, DK, Storm….I spotted some great football plays. I was jealous. But then my game mercifully ended and I got to wander over and speak to guys on the sidelines. I learned there was nothing to be a jealous of. The “better” game was ten times the $#**show of my game. E wanted out. Yaron’s team looked embarrassed to be there. Kut and Tabak were having seizures. People were making inexplicably bad calls….seemingly on purpose and out of spite…and were being encouraged to do so by their teammates. Yaron had the glazed over look of a man in freefall, resigned to a horrible fate, and having no idea how to turn that around. Pray was completely misya-aish as well. No one wanted to pull the plug. No one knew how to end their own misery. Everyone knew this was a game that needed to end and be fixed in the postmortem. And so…..that is where we are. The game ended in a tie. The game ended and the chat handled it’s business. Here is my commissioner’s take – even though I’ve written on this topic many times before – and it seems to change nada. It changes nada because the same people don’t change. And until people actually change – these are just words. It’s the same people who say “we need better rules,” “we need clearer rules,” “we need more rules,” or even “we need refs.” All not true. Arguers will argue no matter what. Complainers will complain no matter what. Conspiracy theorists will conspiracy theorize no matter what. Chronic victims will cry victimization no matter what. So….it’s not about anything….but….YOU! It’s what you do. How you react. How you behave. How much dignity and pride you do or do not have. How much you want to win and in what way you want to win. How you handle a call made by someone on you or a call you think you can make on someone.
The one thing that maybe got lost in the rhetoric above is this line: How much you want to win and in what way you want to win. This is really everything. If you win a game, but you know you lied about a call to get there….is that really something you feel good about? Or that you ruined the integrity of the game to get there…does it still feel like a win? I can’t enjoy wins where I played badly! I can’t imagine enjoying a win where I got there by either purposely committing a non-called penalty or by making a call that I didn’t really need to make or believe in….and then yelling and screaming about it like a spoiled child! Guys! Win in a way you can be proud of! Lose in a way you can be proud of! Leagues aren’t a mess. Jewball isn’t a mess. Some of us are a mess! As soon as we clean up our mess, the games and experience improves exponentially. Play the game the right way. If you got beat…..you got beat! If you missed a flag….you missed a flag! If you worked your ass off for an almost sack…..your worked your ass off for an almost sack! If you gave up a 1st down by an inch….you gave up a first down by an inch! And so on and so on and so on. No one will respect your calls if you don’t respect yourself.
Jewball on the week goes to Ernie. While everyone on Roll Tide played butt-beatingly well, from my perspective, it was Ernie snuffing out every single opportunity TG had to make it an interesting game. He seemed to have pulled every flag in a big spot. Guy can ball.
Half the season behind us. Half the season in front of us. Let’s finish strong and write some amazing stories together

If it wasn’t for the fog of sickness which unexpectedly descended onto my week, this recap would have been posted asap. Because my team won and I played well. Those are the recaps that you can’t wait to get out there. And it’s actually not fair to some great players from Week 9 that I will discuss that I’m sneaking this in late on a Saturday night on the eve of a League Week. Moreover, I don’t think TBI made a big enough deal of the the storylines I will get to. Though I did watch TBI in prime fever dream sweat storm so I could have missed a lot. I mean….was I hallucinating or was Vegh the guest?
Week 9 was not exactly Red Sunday but I think it’s safe
to say at this point that the correlation between League games and injuries is no coincidence. No, I’m not saying Leagues are a mess….and I’ll be straight….the chorus of “Leagues are a mess” is so tired and lame and not true – and if you are part of that chorus….check yourself. Maybe the mess is not Leagues. Leagues are great. I’m extremely proud of last week and extremely excited for tomorrow.
First things first, I’m proud of the battles. I’m proud that my QB, Yehuda Feit, had a game he needed to have. He lead his team. He found his receivers. He spread the ball. He was poised. He was accurate. He put up points. He helped us win. I’m proud of Yaron who – we will get to the game – mounted a furious comeback that truly could have imploded the Top Guns if it had fully succeeded. I’m proud of the dudes who got hurt and played hurt like Singer, and Zada, and Storm. Guys who bleed for their teams and face the “realities” of going home with injuries and paying the price all week – only so that they can come back and risk it all again. For what? For the the goddam glory, that’s what! For Jewball. For themselves. Because everyone else walking into #!%n Gourmet Glatt without a limp or stiff back or a throbbing wrist has no clue. Not a f***n clue. So I’m proud to be on this side of the equation.
Of course the king of Week 9 was Pray. We will get to him shortly, but it’s late and I don’t want to forget the essence of why Week 9 mattered. Hopefully I don’t lose patience with this recap and call it a day. The Benjys pizza might keep me up a while.
Game 1 was Leagues, making up for the Week 7 League game between Top Guns and Lionhearts which was canceled when LH suffered every curse in the tochecha at the same time.
Yaron’s squad was still banged up and the LH had to go up against a (more or less) full strength TG. I’ve already spoiled the result. TG did what they were allegedly supposed to do on Draft Night. That’s win. But it wasn’t as easy as it should have been. Once Singer went down with an ankle in a scary scene that thankfully looks like a week to week instead of a season ender – things got a little too interesting. Feit had a ton of completions and scored twice early with Jack. Munch and Dobs kept Yaron in check, but Sting had a rough day letting multiple passes slip through his usually reliable hands. Even with all that, Storm had 2 late TDs and all of a sudden Yaron was driving to win the game. It was a terrifying moment for TG, but the result was a stalled drive..Jewball to Munch and Dobs for being the difference in the end.
Game 2s were compromised by the injuries from Game 1. For Dachs’ team, Zada and Storm became Jordan and Rabin and it was enough to make Pray have a very successful return to Jewball. So let’s talk about Pray for a second. As the guy says in every mussar schmooze…….I’m saying this for me. The week before Sukkos we hear Pray got hurt. Maybe playing football. Maybe building a sukkah. Maybe rescuing Logan and PJs from a fire in Daveo’s basement. No one is sure. How hurt? He’s done for the season. Major tear. He’s spending Yom Kippur in a wheelchair. Surgery to follow. Rehab. Maybe we see him February. Maybe. This is all real and possible. It’s a major blow to our season. We see the ramifications right away. Game quality struggles. Moral struggles. Leagues are mess (just kidding!). Much thanks to Perla for being sent by God to give us a fighting chance in the interim. We were not able to see Pray at QB and we didn’t know when we would see him again.
Here is what we did see. A smile always on his face. A constant positive demeanor. An unbreakable optimism. A relentless drive to be back on the field. A commitment to US. Did he miss a single game? Did he miss a single moment? Did he not film. And cheer. And support? And just allow us to feed off his Prayness so we don’t lose his QB skills AND him! Sure, he may have been there for himself…but tell me every game wasn’t better and didn’t feel more right because he was on the sidelines. Hobbling at first….but then walking…then walking and throwing…and finally on Thanksgiving….playing the game. And then in Week 9 – against all odds – playing Jewball….getting stats, getting a W, and of course getting a Jewball. Guys, everything Pray did since the moment of his injury is textbook role model heroics. He would not be denied. Pray, may you continue to heal and come back better than before. May this injury be the last of your career. May you continue to be an influence on all of us where we can strive to come close to the dedication and loyalty and commitment to our game and family that you showed over the past few months. Prime, I think we all finally get it. : )

Just to give the new Power Ranking leader some credit…..Pray wins on the back of Zinn who put up two scores. The second of which was completely on me. No mercy tomorrow. Want to thank the new blood that came down – they aren’t on the chat, but they definitely shared our vibe – so thank you to whoever brought them.

Game 2 Game 2 was Perla v Yaron and it ended in a tie. It’s almost as if it never happened.

My very first week of Jewball, I didn’t get into the game. I stood on the sideline and watched. It was a club I was not a part of. They had enough guys and I wasn’t one of them…yet. The players were all familiar with each other and – in my eyes – playing football at a level I could not imagine competing with. I couldn’t really imagine being one of them. I had zero experience playing competitive football. These guys were serious. There were cones on the field! Some of them were wearing actual football jerseys! Like in the NFL! The guy standing to my right on the sideline, though – also not getting in – probably embarrassed to be grouped in with me – was a different story. Of all the things I wish for Jewball related, none do I wish for more acutely than to have you all playing with Jason Katzenstein.
I met the kid in camp sophomore summer. Huge attitude and ego – total abrasive punk. Electric athlete. Rough exterior, but sensitive as hell. I was not a sports guy at all, but we became close friends. Still in touch. He’s completely frummed out living in Passaic. JK was the QB for the BMT Cheesecake (can’t make this up) and (E can confirm) took them to the championships, where they lost. He was the MVP of the AFLI that year. I would sometimes walk through Jerusalem with JK as teenagers and Israeli kids would yell out his name. They read about him in the papers or watched the games. He was a star.
We had a few years in KGH together before he moved to NJ and me to LI. For two off those years, we played Jewball. Like I said, at first we didn’t get in. But it was a journey we were taking together. Soon enough, he and I (with guys like Spira, Yakir, and Rabin) were the foundation for each game.
Why do I bring up JK today? Besides that he is probably the only guy from the Golden Age who, if playing today like he did then, would be top 3 Power Ranking every week. He played in a time where the games were fun, but generally sparsely attended. 5 on 5 was the usual. He very often played official QB with 4 on 4s. Whatever – that’s the past. I brink up JK now because he was a dynamic passer who could throw laser beams, or heave it a mile – ultra serious and locked in during games – could take off with elusive speed and quickness if need be – and….was a lefty. I bring up JK because – although I don’t believe in reincarnation, especially when both people are alive – with Dachs, I now can see what modern Jewball would have looked like if JK was still around. And it’s beautiful.
Week 8 had great weather and two great games. Maybe not everyone had the best experience (someone always loses), but both games were close and competitive and guys made plays.
We started with Dachs v. Ernie in Ernie’s season debut as signal caller. How did it go? Well, it could not have started better. On his first possession (coming after a Zinn pick) and first pass, he rips off a bomb to Zinn streaking down the left sideline. On. The. Money. Catch and run. TD.  Ernie up 1 right away. That one score stood up for a while because although Dachs was racking up completions, he was not putting up points. Shout out to Beast for being an early sparkplug for Dachs – catching balls out of the TE slot and motoring downfield. The offense for Ernie’s squad – and he had high caliber offensive weapons besides Zinn in Mighty and Prime as well as a really tough protection in DK, O, and PJs – but the ball was not moving well. Tom, Munch, and E are some big boys coming out you in the middle and it seemed that with all the size flashing up the gut, the middle of the field was taken away from Ernie. Combine that with a leg still healing – and despite his incredible toughness and underrated agility – Ernie could not make enough happen out of the pocket. At the end of the day…he put up 2 scores – both to Zinn. The second TD being a jump ball that only Zinn catches.
Meanwhile, Dachs is not going to be kept down forever. Between the Zinn scores, he moved the ball with every receiver. Strikes to Tom, MK, Singer – all executed with samurai precision. Tom picked up a huge 1st down by reaching out for a bullet on a cross over the middle in traffic and sticking with it. That lead to a score with Sting who caught the ball and made some people miss (who should not have). The tying TD was a gem to Beast who sat down in a nice empty space in the back of the endzone and reached up for a pass that floated just slightly high. The TD in OT was hauled in by Tom, who had himself a nice handsy day. Ernie could not tie the game in his final possession and Dachs gets the victory in a game that either team could have won. There was a push to give the Jewball to Tom from the fans, but….don’t u know that makes it less likely! Truth is….I looked at the tape. Tom made some catches and important ones. He and Beast had the same stat line and each dropped a pass they should have caught. Tom will get his Jewball in a snow game, I am sure. This one goes to Beast. He was buzzing and humming from the first play of the game to the last. Beast is on fire this season and is bringing it every single game, every single set. That’s what Jewballs are made of. Here ya go, brother.
Game 2 took place when Perla was just Perla. Just a White Goodman meme. I write this recap after he gets the W and becomes a TBI sensation. As I told Yaron, Sunday was very good for Jewball. And Tuesday was even better. We need Perla to – and I mean this in the most cultish was possible – JOIN US. This was more or less the subject of our friction mid-game. He was right that shit talking mid-game is counter productive….but…honestly…I was less worried about the game and more worried about the future. And it actually worked out. The arm band took a back seat. The colored dots became people. And Perla beat Yaron in a game that admittedly was stacked somewhat against Yaron….but he could have won it. Perla’s team was very motivated to get together for a W. Was trying to remember the order of what happened, but Steveo’s video posts made me even more confused. Is it so hard to record every single play from behind the QB and post in order with captions?? So while I don’t know exactly what happened in our game, I do know what happened in the 10th grade DRS game.
I saw Goldberg in the power rankings so I had to assume he had a big game. Confirmed. 2TDs and a pick. He even had the game winning TD, which was – like Game 1 – in OT. What happened before that? It was tied 3-3. I know Storm had a hot game and gave Yaron life a bunch of times when he was dead to rights. Caught one with Rook in his grill at the 10 to lead to a score. And punched in the game tying TD with time expiring by propelling past Goldberg. That sin was Goldberg’s only one of the game and his stat line is Jewball worthy. Jewball to you, Goldberg. But the story of the game and the week is Perla. He told us from the beginning it would take him a while to catch up and get it. It took longer than we expected (maybe longer that we are used to as we’ve been spoiled with rookies who seem to get it absurdly fast). But it seemed that at some point during Week 9 of the 2022 season, Mike White Goodman arrived. Welcome. JOIN US.