Month: September 2022

Week 1 – Recap

A busy week makes Week 1 feel like a fast-fading memory. By the time week 2 comes around, Week 1 will feel like it was from last season. So, let’s get to recapping.
We have had many monumental Week 1s. Days filled with sunshine and hope and the reuniting of friends who had not seen each other for over five months. They are always great. Symbolizing both rebirth and the continuing cycle. There is no Jewball without a chain of seasons. And there is no season without a beginning and an end. Kohelet says that ends are predicated on the beginning (though we have had plenty of seasons that started off slow and picked up steam). Well, steam has not been a problem in Jewball for a while. Nowadays – We start strong and finish strong.
This is my 21st full season. 21st opening day. I was brought to the game by Michael “Gish” Grushko in 2001. Became a regular in 2002. Commissioner in 2005. I’ve been playing Jewball almost half my life. So let’s talk about life for a second. It’s that time of year.
I could focus on the fact that we had 3 games on Opening Day; a staggeringly awesome first. That’s crazy enough. That’s a headline. But, when processing what went down, it struck me as fateful that we had 36 players participating in Week 1. Because 36 is not just any number. It’s two times chai (the Hebrew word Chai means life and the Hebrew letters that make up that word equal 18). And I am not a gematriah (numerology) guy or a superstitious guy. I am, however, an opportunist when it comes to manipulative symbolism. 18 is Chai. 18 is the number that equals life. 36 then is two times that. To venture a step further and take an additional recap writer’s liberty. 36 represents a second life.
One way to look at the concept of a second life in relation to Jewball is that it’s kind of like a shadow life. A life apart from the one we already lead. One that runs parallel, just below the surface of our “real” lives. I won’t call it a better life. But I will say it is an alternate life. Where we can be our alternate selves and achieve alternate goals. Develop connections that would never occur in our first lives.
Another way to look at it is that Jewball gives you a second dose of life. A second life force. I think both these concepts are worth considering. 36 players. A second life.
I think about this time of year with Rosh Hashanah and – I’ll be honest – as self pitying as it sounds – when I say Shma Koleinu nowadays, it hits different (as the kids say). Used to be it was all about the first two verses. Those were the ones that got all my attention and devotion. No, I’m not ancient, but when I was younger, I couldn’t relate to Al Tashlicheini L’Et Zikna, Kichlos Kocheinu al Ta’azveinu. Translated as our asking not to be abandoned in our old age and when our strength diminishes. It’s a cry to God, but I don’t think it’s talking about a spiritual abandonment. This is a plea rooted in the physical world. When I’m old here! When I’m physically weak here! So, it’s talking about something terrestrial. It’s talking about God not letting people abandon us when we are old and weak. No, I’m not there yet. Eddie is not there yet. None of us are there yet, thankfully. But there is something to Jewball being the remedy to this malady. We will all grow older and weaker (perhaps causing each other at times to be broken), but we do not abandon each other. We remain together on the field. This keeps us young. This keeps us healthy. This keeps us strong. And this keeps us together. We do not leave anyone behind. And I’ll close with this when I talk about the Draft and Leagues.
To the games:
Week 1 came in hot because Zez signed up for an appearance at QB. The Jewball legend who made Aliyah just before the Revolution and never got to fully enjoy these halcyon days, was going to be in town for a few hours before heading to Connecticut. So…obviously, he packed his gear, came to the field straight from the airport, and got a game in. Rooks….you want to be a legend? Watch and learn from the legends.
There were some insane storylines coming into Week 1. The Rookie class was in attendance (with the exception of Stats who is on the mend from Pre-Season – heal up). That meant Zinn, Dachs, Dax, and Oppen coming down and showing what they were made of. You had DK, the longtime Plus 1, attempting to show he’s a keeper -taking on Solo who has proven to be Round 1 talent. You had Ivry – the golden child from the past few seasons and reigning TD Leader pitted against Invader Zinn. Zinn looking to prove that the hype is not just hype. That Mighty is right. That he is not just flavor of the month, but someone who can light up the Jewball stage for a decade and beyond. We had the return of Whiskey, Waldo, and Sting. Battling back from injury. Then we had some of classic storylines. Would Feit bounce back? Yaron v. Pray for the first time since Red Sunday? Would MK know what time the game was? What does 3 games even look like?
It started off like any classic Jewball season. Scouting for a field and getting tossed before even being able to set up on a new one. Confusion on the chat. People being diverted and rerouted. Yaron and I at Greis watching some dude unlock a gate at 7:40am and spoil our plans of 2 fields (Sorry Daveo). All for the best. This just meant taking our chances that Old Dudes wouldn’t show up at Hewlett. And they didn’t. So – blessings and miracles do not cease – 28 Jewballers started the season at the same time with side by side games. On one field, Zez v. Feit, and on the other Yaron v. Pray.
While I did lookover a few times to see what was going on with Yaron and Pray, I was mostly focused on my game and trying not to get bulldozed by Zez. Well, he bulldozed me in 2009 and he bulldozed me in 2022. Ad meah v’esrim, brother. He started our Jewball season by going into his bag of trick (no typo) and taking off down the sideline. Despite Goldberg being charged with stopping him and Beast poised to stop him – no one got in his way – and I don’t blame them. Zez is a truck and he doesn’t give a rhymes with truck. Zez scores the first TD of the Jewball season and takes a 1-0 lead over Feit. With Solo coming after him, which would shake any mortal QB, Feit was impressively composed. He went through his progressions but got rid of the ball quick. I didn’t see the pump “fakes” which plagued him in year’s past. He moved the ball very well with Beast and Irv using the middle of the field. Beast put a hit on Zez that made me feel a lot better about all the bullying I took from Zez over the years. Not sure I’ve ever seen Zez get put on the ground. Feit soon found Irv on a cross in the endzone and zipped one in to a very tight window – Irv seeing the ball in to his grip expertly and the score was tied. Zez squandered a few opportunities to score using his tall receivers, Zinn and Waldo by putting just a bit too much air under the ball and sending the ball slightly beyond the endzone. And speaking of putting air under ball, Feit threw a bomb to Irv that stayed in the air forever. Luckily, its arc proved true and Irv tracked it down on the straightaway to score TD number 2 for him and for his team. Feit leads 2-1. Zez punched right back by driving with runs and Solo leaking out from the TE position. It was Zinn at the front of the endzone with Feit draped on his back. Zinn is on the board. We expect him and Irv competing for TD Leader the entire season (unless Zada keeps it up). A drive later, Beast made a hell of a catch running full speed and over the wrong shoulder to put Feit up 3-2. With time winding down, Zez went steamroller mode once again and created a TD purely by tucking the ball, running fast (for his age, of course) and punching people in the face along the way. Game knotted at 3. Feit had one last shot in regulation, but he missed a wide open Goldberg (or according to some Goldberg missed a wide open ball) and even with some College Rules OT….the game ended in a tie. No Jewball to be awarded.

Over in Game 1B, as we called it (and reminder to thank PJs for his phone on a swivel and getting us some footage) I caught a few glimpses and heard some cheering. I saw Zada put up a point – he had 2. I saw Pray running a fair amount but he did not have any rushing TDs. Storm caught one for Pray as well. Bottom line Pray beats Yaron 3-1 (MK being the one score for Yaron). Looks like Zada with the Jewball. Difference maker that he is.
Game 2 had some glitches. While it’s existence allowed 8 Jewballers to get a game when they otherwise would have been locked out, the quality needs to improve. As discussed on TBI, Boths are not a right. Yes, they are a privilege, but they are also an obligation. It’s an obligation to the players who are being joined by you in their one and only game. The fact is – both is easy to say and type (four letters, one syllable), hard to do. Maybe even impossible to do. And it certainly is not something most of us can do. Boths need to be reserved for players who can and will BRING IT both games. It requires conditioning, stamina, concentration and commitment. I felt for the players in Game 2. Guys jumping in and out. Guys leaving. Guys unable or unwilling to keep up. It was a shame because it was Dachs’ first game – and the players on his team were dropping everything. One guy who definitely seemed up for the challenges of Both was Pray. He gets the W, 4-2 over Dachs. Hitting Mighty, Zada (3 TDs on the day!) and Dax for scores – as well as running one in. Jewball to Pray for a dominant start to his season.
This has been long, but let’s talk Draft Party before we go. I have to start by owning up. I am never one to run around like a phony asking for mechila from everyone I meet in the days leading up to Rosh Hashana. As Dax might say, What a Scam! Do you mochel me? Do you mochel me? Do you mochel me? That’s  not right sticker. Of course we should be interested in forgiveness – generally. And this time of year highlights the interest. But step 1.) Know what you are asking forgiveness for, and 2.) Once you know – ask forgiveness for that thing from the person(s) who you wronged. Have the balls to be specific. Don’t be a “If did anything to offend you….” You know what you did! Express it. That’s just general advice.
The Draft Party was a good time – it was special. It was a celebration and it needs to grow and continue. But, it got ugly toward the end. After the first 4 rounds, there was a clear tension in the air. That only increased and became more painful and distressing as time went on. Listen, I’m not too cool to say it – I love every Jewballer. And I didn’t like see guys slighted, offended, insulted, and left out of the party as the rounds got late. So I’m sorry to all Jewballers for seeing that coming and still letting it happen. It was inevitable and I should have avoided it. I know it’s too little too late, but I’m being honest and not patronizing you, there was  real real talent until the last round. Our problem is just that we couldn’t get a 5th QB (Offman!). And it’s a major problem. Because if we had a 5th QB, the party would have had no bad vibes. I know a lot of people felt bad about how it went down. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t necessary. And that’s on me. Jewball, I ask mechilah for the embarrassment I allowed Thursday night. I feel like shit about it. I know the Captains do as well. I failed them and you.  Again, cuz we really love every player, and respect every player – and I didn’t do right by us. Also, it should have been a snake 🙂
But teshuvah is not just asking for mechilah…it’s doing something about it. So here goes: League Rule number 912: Although every team only brings down 8 players per game, the Captains must give every drafted player at least one start in the regular League Season. Start just means every player is brought down for one game. They can be the 8th man, but they are brought down. I just don’t want anyone completely excluded from the Leagues experience. We can’t make such a big deal about Leagues and then entirely exclude people – especially really good players. That’s not who we are. That’s not who we want to be. We have choices in life. Let’s strive to make the right ones, even if we can’t always get them right the first time.
Jewball! Wishing us and our families a year of health, stats, stickers, quality games, quality experiences, opportunities to come through for one another, great lines, great catches, pushing ourselves, grinding through, growth, good clean routes, no bad calls, and the continued ability to be our best Jewball selves.

2022-2023 JEWBALL LEAGUE SCHEDULE

LEAGUE SCHEDULE:

Game 1 – 10/23/22
8am: Topguns vs. BOP
945: Lionhearts vs. Roll Tide

Game 2 – 11/20/22
8am: BOP vs. Roll Tide
945: Lionhearts vs. Topguns

Game 3 – 12/11/22
8am: Lionhearts vs. BOP
945: Topguns vs. Roll Tide

Game 4 – 1/1/23
8am: Lionhearts vs. Roll Tide
945: Topguns vs. BOP

Game 5 – 1/15/23
8am: Lionhearts vs. Topguns
945: BOP vs. Roll Tide

Game 6 – 2/12/23
8am: Topguns vs. Roll Tide
945: Lionhearts vs. BOP

Week 1 Rosters

WEEK 1

Game 1A
8am – 930am
HHS

Dark

Feit – QB
DK
Beast
Goldberg
Jordan
Sam
Irv

Colors

Zez – QB
Rabin
Waldo
Solo
Klink
E
Zinn

Game 1B
8am – 930am
HHS or TBD

Dark

Yaron – QB
Maor
Rook
Jack
MK
Tabak
Dobs

Colors

Pray – QB
Zada
Sting
Storm
Prime
Kut
Bert

Game 2
945am – 11:15am
HHS

Dark
Winners of Yaron v. Pray
Dax (young Dachs for now)
Whiskey

Colors
Dachs – QB
Logan
Daveo
Winners of Feit v. Zez

WELCOME 2022-2023 SEASON!!

In Jewball, we care about our eras. When we say Silver Age it evokes images of Spira and Rabin and Kenny and Brian. In Queens. Cleating up in the parking lot off the 108th street exit, hoping guys show up to make it a solid 5 on 5. Choosing up teams. Arguing did he get me with two hands? The Golden Age conjures the ghosts of BD, Klink, Ike, and Uri as the game moved to a new land where commitment to football was only rivaled by commitment to hangovers. The Rennaisance is Mighty and Zez, PJs and Snow, where competition went to another level and quality and quantity melded delectably into a credible football experience. Jewball seemed to be at the height to its powers. But then the Dark Ages arrived. Croton spread its dark cloud grubbed tentacles across the world. Fields dried up. We wandered. With Kut, and Steveo and Daveo and Judah and Tom and O….we wandered. We gave up. We called it a TKO. We were on the mat, with a faint pulse. The Revolution came out of nowhere. Tabak and Gronk and Cronies, Yaron and the 197…..all at the same time! Singer is back. Hell, BD and Klink are back! WTF?! Spira is back?! From the light of dawn to the most brilliant sunshine. And where could we possibly go from there? Well, we go to here. We now begin the Age of the Enlightenment. What does that mean? See last year’s recap for the rundown. For now, just know you are in it. You are part of it. Bask in its incandescent glow. Soak it up and emit its aura. Radiate that ****. The Enlightenment is upon us. What does that mean to you? What do you need to do to be part of the era?
Easy. Be you. Be the best you. Play football like you mean it. Prep for football like Sunday matters. Like Bowl Games matter. Like Leagues matter. Like Jewballers matter. Like Recaps matter. Like TBI matters. It’s easy to be cynical. Everyone is cynical. Everyone has an excuse. F*ck easy. F*ck cynicism. F*ck excuses. We are enlightening beings. Let everyone else wander around in the dark scoffing at some guys who play football and take stupid risks for nothing. We can’t help those people! Let’s do us!
And we start doing us this Sunday. WEEK F***ING ONE!
Stats are live. TBI is live. Recaps are live. On Rosh HaShanah the Book will be opened and our fate sealed for the year by God. L’Havdil…..next Sunday, we open our book and we write our story. God has His book in the heavens and we can’t touch it. We have our book down here and it is on us. It is on YOU. Write. Your. Damn. Story.
Jewball loves new blood. We need new blood. Rooks are awesome. Our Rooks are especially awesome. However, when it comes to Sundays and sign ups, service time matters. I will try to get everyone a game every Sunday that they want a game. If that means 3 games on a Sunday for Jewball, it’ll be a first….but we are here for it. @⁨Zada Football⁩ will open the sign up sheet. Link will be in description. We currently have 1 8 game. And 1 945 game. Each game is an hour and a half. One game is a right. Two is a privilege (and very rare nowadays). If you sign up, you better show up. Maybe is a meaningless word. No one cares. We all have things that could come up. In means you are in the whole game. We don’t need to know that you need to leave the last 15 minutes or can be there ten minutes late. If you can’t be there the entire time, don’t sign up. No exceptions. Having 3 games will be based on seeing if we have more than 28 interested on a weekly basis. Like I said, newer guys will have to take what we give them. Vets have preference in every way. Meaning, if all the Vets need the 8am game, Rooks will only have the 945 game Option. But Vets need to show Rooks the way. Show up on time, prepared. Vets will not be given preference if they prove unreliable.
Welcome to Jewball 2022-2023. See you on the field.