Month: December 2021

Week 12 – Jewball League Game 4 – Recap

League Week 4 was supposed to fix the year-long trend of blow-outs and ties, so of course we had one blow out and one tie. Though we did answer one question resoundingly: simply in terms of quality of game-experience – the tie is well –superior to the blow out. Sure, there is no W to put in your pocket and shine up over the course of the week, but there is a viable game to be proud of. With the blow-out, most of the time – and was the case on the Sunday – the losing team leaves miserable and the winning team leaves happy but unsatisfied.  
I think I’ve said this before, but now I really mean it: Week 12 was the first truly bonafide old school cold weather game of this season. The kind where you can only see Courtney’s eyes peeking through her coat. That cold. Was windy too. Not an easy game to be on the field, let alone on the sidelines. The old men so far are 0-2 in showing up on the cold weather days. This may mean we have the field to ourselves the rest of the way. Would be sweet.


Game 1 was the sexy matchup last Sunday with the two star-power teams going head to head. Yaron v. Pray. PJs v. Pray. PJs v. Yaron. PJs v. Daveo. Dobs v. the neglect of his parents. Legs v. the non-neglect of his parents. PJs v. E. Sam v. Prime. Singer v. Mighty (who didn’t show up to the fight – no excuse). And of course the battle everyone saw coming from a mile away: ZADA V. DAVEO!  
There were some last minute Bird droppings. Mighty and Tom checked out and Ernie checked in. There was a time when Mighty would have been replaced by two Veterans and it still wouldn’t be fair. Now, he plus Tom are replaced by a rookie whose Jewball name is based entirely on the existence of another rookie. Eichah! 
I know BOP was flying after this game and PJs and Daveo came into TBI higher than Solo after 3amedibles, but – as someone standing in the cold watching the game unfold – it was rather uneventful for much of the running time. I will admit that playing in the game and watching it are naturally two very different experiences. Playing is a physical, visceral experience. The action feel intense and monumental. Visually speaking, the best play of the game was the one that got the scoring started. A wicked over the top grab by Dobs on a vintage Yaron cannonball while in full gallop. The ball sailed perfectly over the defenders and stuck to Dobs’ mitts as if his gloves were covered in……I guess….I’m gonna say….glue. Sure, glue. That was the best play of the game. Between that and the last play of the game, the moments in between were less momentous – with few exceptions. Once again, Legs is becoming an absolute menace on the line. If that terminator ever learns a few basic tricks – he will be Munch. There, I said it. Legs + technique = Munch. Book it. 
He had a lot of almosts. A lot. As did Daveo. And as pointed in various contexts over the past few days, IF BOP did not score on that final play – Daveo would have been the most glaring reason. We’ve seen plenty of almosts, but Daveo was all almost. Was tough to watch. He closed in fast on everything he pursued and his prey always got past him unscathed. Every time. So it was good for him what happened at the very end.  
During the middle hour or so of the game, many opportunities were squandered. I will say this – Pray needs to figure out  his red zone offense. Again, outside of that final play – which felt very exceptiony and not at all ruley – Pray could not get his team points in the traditional way. The only score they managed was the classic – though jaw droppingly awesome – Pray charging down the sideline like a lightning bolt for 73 yards and running one in. The TD a tad marred by the did or didn’t he call the flag guard by Singer. It is our hope that the new non-verbal “call” rule will clean some of this up. We will remind everyone of it on the field.  
Yaron wasn’t helping his cause much either. He threw two rough picks (that I recall). One to Pray in Pray’s endzone and the other to Ernie from Yaron’s endzone. Not pretty. 
Just as the game was about to be most faded, Yaron and Beast came up with a nice score on a TE rollout with Beast making a throwback catch with his signature hard running style in the open field. Between that catch and a really nice game at the line, the man I once called Ademar by accident was poised for a Jewball. Alas, it was not meant to be. Pray orchestrates a drive that really should have been the recipe throughout the game. As he said on TBI – and we will not FORGET it – the drive’s tone was set by a pass for big yardage caught by Salem. Then, and it truly looked like Pray should have gone to this well more often – Prime angry running just picking up all kinds of yards. And yes….that final play – Daveo across the back of the endzone. An almost drop (well, really a tip to himself) but he hangs on – a heroic play to give BOP a tie and to take a Jewball away from Beast. 
Game 2 was unpleasant. If it wasn’t for Munch’s historical performance, I wouldn’t mind just posting the score. Feit is still out. We know that. I know he will defend himself, but I’m not going to here: Feit, you are out, but you are Captain. Do a better job leading your team. If you don’t know what it takes to lead, ask Gronk. Just kidding – he is worse than you at it. Ask Pray – the guy whose entire team wanted to be traded. Okay 0-2. Ask Yaron! If you want a really formal answer that is nearly impossible to understand and said in a voice that will make you want to hang yourself. I get it. Leadership is not easy. That said, you gotta find a way. You; Gotta. Find. A. Way. Abdicating responsibility is NEVER the option. Even if others get away with it – it’s not right. Lead your team both on and off the field – and good things will happen.  
I’m not gonna say anything bad about Flash. I really like and respect that guy. He wasn’t the right man for the FC QB position on Sunday, clearly – but he is just the most solid dude. Love to see him whenever he comes out. We need to just get him back into the rotation as a WR where he belongs.  
Munch sacked him 10 times. The birthday boy Solo came out and he deserves a medal for it, but Munch gets one of the most deserved Jewballs we have ever awarded. Congrats, Munch on a banner day. You are the gold standard of Jewball excellence and have been for many many years.

If you (not Munch) are wondering why you are playing mediocre Jewball…the answer is because we have guys like Munch who are setting the standard for us. Perhaps in another league you would shine, but until you are willing to put in the work and effort of a Munch, you will simply be mediocre by comparison. 
Feit Club scored none. Barely made plays. They need and will get a reset next League Game. Gronk moved the ball very easily. Threw zero picks. 1 score was enough but Cronies put up 5.  
See you guys, Friday for some Friday Jesus Bowl action. 

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Week 11 – Recap

I checked and rechecked the calendar before putting pen to paper for this recap. And it is confirmed: Last Sunday was not Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Years. It was just a plain old Week 11 in this 2021-2022 season. So why did it feel so much like a Bowl Game? Why didn’t it seem to matter?

Could it be that the schedule got the better of us? A Week 11 sandwiched between the intensity and pageantry of League Game 3 and League Game 4. Did our players decide to hold back while looking forward?

It’s tough otherwise to explain another Week of Jewball that was just competitively imbalanced.

It was cold, sure, but this is football. It was a gray morning, but see above. We had good players show up. Many of our stars and power rankers checked in. No reason not to have two close games with the vitcor going home feeling accomplished. Yet, once again it was a one sided affair. Make that three one sided affairs. And to be a-fair to the players that showed, this was an example of a day where QB play determined the outcomes. Absolutely, individuals could have tried harder or fought fiercer, but Week 11 showed the unpredictability of Jewball and sports in general. Our power rankings would have you believe that Yaron and Gronk are unstoppable forces. Gronk, all the way at the top! Yaron, not far behind!

And yet….the same Gronk can’t put up a single point in Game 1 or Game 2 and throws picks galore. And yet again, the same Gronk ravages Yaron in Game 3. The same Gronk who got shut out just minutes earlier goes for 9 scores. The same Yaron who has been ascending to the status he deems himself worthy (as do most of us) looks befuddled from the first snap.

Legs tries to call in sick. Then he tries to play GM with 25 minutes to go before kickoff. He ends up coming a bit late but Game 1 is already in tatters. Pray runs for 88 yards to start the game and Gronk throws a P6 to Ernie on his first possession. By the time Legs checks in, the Game feels very much out of hand. Once Pray scored again, and due to the rough “inequitable” start, we run this one back. Everyone gets a reset and a chance to make right. But there was no right to be made by Gronk and co. The QB with the heretofore golden touch looked rusty and tarnished. He couldn’t score a single point. And – prognosticators be damned – there was Pray on the other side living his best life, pumping his fist and celebrating pinpoint hookups with Singer and OBJ receptions by Klink on his way to 4 scores. One of them being a throwback P6 by Klink where he looked as spry and fleet footed as back in 2007 when the Chipmunk could cover anyone. So that’s Game 1 in an acorn shell. Klinky gets the honorable mention for the aforementioned, but Jewball to Pray. He had the numbers. Check the website. You’ll see.

I was worried about Game 2 because  Yaron was loaded with all the players close to his heart and he had been on a winning a streak, looking extremely sharp. He was poised to shine in every way and make the day as memorable as he has had on the Jewball field. He was joined by all the players he had brought to Jewball, including the return of showstopper Flash, plus Rabin whom he uses incredibly effectively out of the TE position. And Gronk was picking himself up off the ground.

But, like Daveo while the cameras are rolling, Yaron was mucho distracted. Jordan picks him on the second pass of the game. Jordan gets stopped at the 1. Gronk to Ivry for the score. On the day, Yaron got picked 4 times, Jordan got stopped at the 1 yard line 4 times, and Gronk threw a TD to Ivry 4 times. This is how it went. It was tough to watch Yaron have such a miserable day with all his very talented players from back in the day surrounding him. Storm had two TDs late to keep his stat train moving, but the game was never close. Gronk wins 9-3. Normally a 4 TD game would get u a Jewball, but all of Irv’s TDs were the same. Crosses from the 6 yard line. He made the plays. He leads the league in TDs and he is definitely an MVP candidate. But Jewball to Gronk for the equally gaudy numbers and the lesson to all of us out here about bouncing back. He had 3 games on Sunday. Fail, Fail, and Great Success. A less mentally tough person would have given up on themselves and the day. A lesson for all our League QBs. In the end. There can be only one.

Week 10 – League Game 3 – Recap

Jewball could have used a good week of football. The Turkey Bowl was a really nice and special day. The Chanukah party was a really nice and special night. But this isn’t a league about the trimmings. It’s about the roast. And that’s the Sunday morning football experience. And over the past few weeks, it felt damn near vegan up in here. The anomaly and joy of a Rabin win aside – let’s be honest – we have been struggling to feast on good football. We have instead found ourselves in a mid-season famine. Starving for quality games. We wander and stumble through wastelands of blowouts and ties. For a while, I thought it was me. Maybe you thought it was me as well. Surely, it was the team making. It was the imbalance of the squads. The randomizer was busted and in desperate need of a reset. Thank God for League Week 3, right? That’s gonna fix all that ails us. Because the Commish can’t blow this one. The teams are set. They are fair. The competitive balance of the League Weeks has been its defining characteristic. So many great players. So evenly distributed. Bring it, League Week 3! Cure us! FEED US!!!

And here I am, writing a Week 10 recap and there is good news and bad news. The good news is only for me…..the problem wasn’t me. It wasn’t my team making. So I feel better. The bad news is…it’s you. Well, it’s us. It’s our players. The problem with Jewball right now is that the Jewballers are letting us down. To be clear: only on the field of course. 

😉

What do I mean by that? Quite simply…..we aren’t playing to the best of our abilities. We aren’t playing smart enough. Or tough enough. Or hard enough. And bad play has lead to bad habits. Only one thing to do about it. Week 11 the f*** out of it!

It was our first December game. It was Chanukah. It wasn’t exactly cold. You’d call it football weather outside. Low 40s to start Game 1, but the sun was rising and about to make it beautiful. Yaron and the Lionhearts had not won a League Game. And that’s odd looking at their team preparing. Irv, Singer, Ross, Zada, Dobs, Beast, Yaron. Those were the 7 Lionhearts that showed on Sunday. That’s a team without a flaw. They had lost to BOP in a game without Singer. They had lost to the Cronies in a game without Singer (playing like Singer). Unfortunately for Feit Club, Singer had taken about 2 weeks off and was ready to tear someone’s head off on Sunday. Feit Club actually played like that proverbial chicken who has been decapitated and runs around dying for a while before realizing it is dead.

This same wayward chicken, only a few short weeks ago was a proud strutting red crested rooster. The cockiest of cocks, crowing on TBI about a team that has bought in. I remember that golden hued time. I remember the game that precipitated it. Oren and Kut turning back the clock and in relentless pursuit of Pray. Storm, everywhere. MK, everywhere. Feit….so bouncy and confident. Efer-effing-vescent! Like I said on the field, it was the 7th day of Chanukah, and FC looked like it had been binging on donuts and latkas for a week. Their reactions were slow and heavy. Weighed down by an anchor of malcontent. Oren brought the Big O inflatable helmet and it was a great touch. It added flair to the affair, but the player that was a joy to watch against BOP was not the same. Beast and Dobs manhadlndled Kut and O…pretty much on both sides of the ball. Vegh did not have the game that he needed to show FCFT that they made a huge mistake ignoring him. Feit was doing his best to rally his team in the huddles and from the sideline, but his actual play was uninspiring. To the contrary; it was demoralizing. In the prior game he was sure of everything. Now he was sure of nothing. Perhaps nothing but that he wasn’t himself. He was uncomfortable. Hurt. He was once the QB who couldn’t stop bouncing around with exuberance; now the QB who can’t stop pump faking with indecision. He pump fakes his way to another shut out loss. Back to back soul crushing shut outs is not easy to do, but that’s where the early season MVP candidate finds himself. Week 8 he was top of the Power Rankings. Where will he be after Week 10? And this is why you play the game? Because if we didn’t play the games, well, Yaron might still have the reputation of a perennial loser whose receivers love nothing more than to drop his passes. But how does he look on December 7th? After that win? Short answer: He looks pretty darn awesome. His team looks pretty darn unbeatable. Dobs and Beast looked as formidable against Feit as O and Kut did against Pray. All motor and determination. Every receiver is sure handed. Yaron was always accurate. The difference now is the passes are being caught. Singer was getting the butterfinger treatment on Chanukah….maybe he took that personally. Maybe. Good work, Dobs. Brilliant, actually. Singer was grabbing everything. High throws. Low throws. Flags. He pulled a flag on Oren when he was in the air and upside down. By choice! He was also bringing the pressure. He was basically the difference maker. It was Snow Pup without a flake to be found. We call that in Jewball recaps the honorable mention. It’s like a Jewball but doesn’t get you a stat. Singer would have had an actual Jewball but he dropped a late TD. So it’s Yaron who gets it of course. Just like the one Storm got that lifetime ago in a League Game victory, Yaron was perfect. Did he throw a pick? I don’t know. I’m not checking. He was perfect. 6 TDs thrown to 4 different receivers. Heady play from the start. Leadership, arm strength, all the intangibles. And he did it all while dressed like Madonna from the Like a Virgin era. Lionhearts are back. Look out, rest of League.

And after Game 2, maybe look out, Lionhearts. The Cronies looked for real. Feit Club got shut out on Sunday, the BOP did not, but they did have something in common. They weren’t trying their best. Birds of Pray is a star studded team. Sure, that sometimes comes with drama. BOP is carrying baggage stuffed with drama right now. And they need to dig deep and fix it. They need to unpack that shit. They each need to buy in to the team mentality or this train is going off the rails. 3 more games to figure it out.

The game played is more recap worthy than Game 1 since it had some elements of competition, although not many. I believe Cronies scored at will for the first 45 minutes of the game. Goldberg, who has himself a hell of agame on offense and defense, scored the first Crony TD. Gronk has a lot of time and plenty of clear field vision on Sunday. We have to mention that he threw 4 ugly picks, but that seems to be the necessary evil of a Gronk performance. Like a slugger who is good for one home run per game, but is gonna strike out 3 times while getting there. Pray was kinda back to the What’s Wrong With Pray era following a few games where he seemed to reclaim that winning edge. Needless to say, none of those games involved a pass rush of Solo and Munch, with Gronk playing spy. No QB in the league can be their best in that situation. That said, good teams do find a way to make adjustments. BOP made the adjustment – just with twenty minutes left in the game and when it was already surrendered to their opponents. Why surrender? Because the Cronies came to play Sunday. I’m in a tough spot here as I do want to be the objective recapper. This isn’t a PJ’s Perspective. I also don’t want to do a disservice to my team that played so well. I’ll try to be complimentary, but subtle: The Cronies played as if their cosmic bond had been elevated to the dynamic synergy of other wordly supreme beings. Okay…..you know what? They all played very well. Honorable Mention to Goldberg and Munch for the flag grabbing expertise. Logan had a run back of a pick that if I think about for just long enough I will cry because I know what he was battling physically and he’s just the most f***ing inspiring teammate a kid could ask for. Steveo, who scored a TD, is Logan, but even better for me because I’ve actually seen him become Logan. So it’s special and personal. I met Logan and he was already Logan. Less exciting. Klink, I know even longer than Steveo and he’s just pure Klinkness. Did you see how he wears his ski cap?? Pushing down his ears! You can’t fake that purity!! Thrilled he is back in the fold and catching TDs over Tom like a boss. And as for this old commish, all praise to the Jewball Gods for giving me a day like Sunday. With the next generation present, I make a circus catch and throw in a pick and a TD. Jack keeps describing to me when and how he will start dominating Jewball. And of course, he says I suck. Who did I miss? Oh yeah….the man who brought it all together. Sure, he needed a wake up call, but once awake….he brought the house. Solo….how did this man not go first Round?? Between the demeanor that is entirely fierce and entirely placid, he is the ultimate game changer. Just ask Pray. And just as Gronk who outletted to Solo numerous times to evade a sack and to gain yards that lead to scores. Solo gets the Jewball for being the one Crony who actually did it all on Sunday.

So, in short – The Cronies whupped the Birds. Final was 5-2, but it wasn’t close. Birds had some highlight plays. The Rat got his stats. Tom made a splendid one handed pick. But, the team seemed to sag watching Pray struggle. Instead of redoubling their efforts, they appeared at times openly despondent. I give Legs credit for calling people out for it. We gotta train ourselves to motor the whole way through. It’s not easy. At all. But we gotta train ourselves to do it.

And speaking of training, let’s take it upon ourselves right here and right now – to get fit…not for ourselves…F that….for Jewball! To make the games as epic as possible. I usually make this request at the end of the season, but after the let down we’ve had recently, something needs to change. We need to bring IT to the games on Sundays, whatever IT may be. No chat or party or event can make up for football that we are not proud of. Let’s get back to being proud of our football. Week 11…bring IT.

Week 9 – Recap

There was some snow dust falling on Sunday morning. Week 9 followed a pretty festive Turkey Bowl which saw Pray beating Gronk in OT and Rabin doing just enough to lose to the return of Frog. The young QB was not the only Jewballer of yesteryear to make an appearance on Thanksgiving. Jesus, Spira, and Socks – each an unbelievably cool resurrection – returned to the family to get a game in and reset their clocks.
Maybe it’s the football overload between the Bowl and the Sunday game, but there was something missing Week 9. And I don’t just some usual suspect players, which allowed a both or 2.
Game 1 was the classic Pray v. Feit matchup. Not a particularly well played game from the part I saw. Feit continued to regress and Pray was there to take advantage and grind out his second win in four days. Feit threw a bunch of picks and couldn’t score a thing. Jewball to….I don’t know…..Maor looked good? Pray won? Dobs…who gets it?
I heard Oren walked off the field upset. I guess he was…..upset. Shouldn’t walk off the field until game is over. But his point was valid. We rotate O line unless someone volunteers to play dead line or take your spot in the rotation.
I didn’t see any Game 2 action, but I know Rabin got mercied and the game was restarted. I have Rabin a loaded squad and he couldn’t make it work. A bad look for him after a W last week and a a decent showing on Thanksgiving. Definitely a step backward. Jewball in Game 2a to Yaron since he beat Rabin when I made that very difficult for him. Game 2b….Jewball to Gronk or Mighty? What say you, Yaron?
Some big losses on Sunday, but huge win on Tuesday as we had our first ever Chanukah party. Once again thanks to Legs for hosting and Daveo for the donuts. Thanks on the DL to those who co-sponsored….I know who some of you are. Was a great time and appreciate everyone who came out. The bottom line is….we say we are a family – and then we actualize it. That makes all the difference.
League Week 3 up next. Happy Chanukah, Jewball.