Month: October 2021

Week 3 Recap

Week 3 was the culmination of a lot. To recap it and judge it by the games themselves is almost unfair. The honest truth is, League Week 1 last year was a lot more exciting. Because it was the first. Because it was so unique and special. Because there were so many (193) guys there for the games. It had a once in a lifetime energy that can’t be replicated simply by running it back. I think I got into my biggest fights with Singer and Mighty that day. Big energy means big fights. So, this season, League Week 1 was virtually fightless. It was a spectacle, to be sure, and successful – absolutely – but it also had the proficiency of a well oiled machine. It almost felt routine. This is not a bad thing. The fact that incredible talent and competitive games is now routine in Jewball is a cause for celebration. 
The day itself was the first true fall day. Although the sun was peaking up to blinding effect just over the tree line in Hewlett, there was a crispness in the air. It was a far cry from the torrid heat of a week earlier. It was…football weather. And the boys came out. Mostly in their jerseys (guys, don’t make me mandate the wearing of your team color on game day…but cmon…it’s not hard and its an easy way for you to pretend for one day that it’s not about you), knowing their gameplans, sticking to the rotations, feeling the comradery generated by their banner, and playing hard (if not, harder) for the pride of getting a W for a team that they will play 6 regular season and hopefully 2 postseason games with. Like I said, Leagues are special. Hate on the new Jewball all you want – because hating on the new Jewball is as new Jewball as the new Jewball is – but we have not sold out. We have looked only to make Jewball better for you while remaining completely true to our roots. 
So, you want a recap? I guess there should have been a spoiler alert before Episode 4 of TBI since I made my feelings known about a number of items that would surely have made the recap otherwise. I guess I can refer you to the episode (which as of right now is the 3rd most viewed episode…I hope my ratings will go up by the end of the week), but let’s see if there is more to get into.
The more I looked at the Feit Club on paper, the more I knew that Cronies were in trouble. I know Gronk is a pot stirrer by design and is truly a troll l’shma, and it is entertaining and provides juice to both the chat and the games….there are times where shutting up is a good idea. I am equally guilty. I won’t back down on my belief that Cronies are the superior team in the League, but sh—ing on Feit Club is and was a bad idea. In the moment, as the draft was happening, the choices seemed odd and confounding. But, Feit is no dummy. Our third most arrogant quarterback? Sure, but he is confidant in his abilities and clever. His team was down 2-0 on Sunday and looking left for dead….and they came back. They fought back. Maybe fighting back will be the signature quality of Feit Club. 
A Logan-less Cronies began the game as expected, with intense pressure on the QB from Munch and Solo, while Feit tried to scramble and screen his way to the goal line. Fact is, Feit has looked very good all season. His long game isn’t the best, but his short game is precise as hell. He is actually the best in the league at it. He doesn’t retreat like Pray, or misfire like Gronk, or overwhelm his receivers like Yaron…He is pitch perfect in delivering the ball in short yardage. That skillset will go a long way, especially with a guy like Storm who has hands as good as anyone and a heart heartier than anyone. Although it would be an exaggeration to say that Munch and Solo had an easy time with Kut and O, they certainly got through plenty. And might as well deal with this inarguable detail right now: Linemen can wrap up a QB to attain a sack just as readily as pulling his flag. Zero issue. Lineman going after a QB have actually the most leeway when it comes to contact. That can push him. Smack his arm. Grab his legs. They certainly can go for the flag to shut down the play, but if they can hug him and force him to “surrender” all the better – that way we don’t have did the ball get out controversy. The only thing they can’t do for safety reason is tackle him (i.e. launch their body at him like a missile).  More about that later.
While Feit’s drives were stalling, Gronk was moving the ball effortlessly. As easily as I’ve ever seen. It was almost as if FC was purposely playing off the receivers. Every Crony seemed to be wide open on every play. Gronk marched down the field twice and scored twice. Once with Maor in the back left of the endzone and once with Klink in the back right. It was gonna be a massacre. 
There are many opinions about what happened next and you know mine. But, bottom line is…Gronk threw 3 picks in the 2nd half and Feit Club, mostly riding Storm in desperate situation after desperate situation, came all the way back. At first they knotted it 2-2 forcing the Cronies to begin to feel pressure. They could not lose after a month of smack talk. Gronk had been off for a while. His best opportunity to score since the first two drives was a 3rd and goal where he and Jordan failed to connect on an in route. Luckily it was his surefire connection with Goldberg to the rescue in a do or die drive at the end of the game. First Goldberg picks up big first down over the middle in traffic on 4th and 5, then the drive is capped by a similar ball to Goldberg again – this time in the endzone. 
Feit had another attempt, with 5 minutes left on the clock. A methodical drive ensued, but the game looked over when FCFT was faced with a 4th and 21 at midfield. Somehow, inexplicably, Feit – for the first time all game, unleashed a deep-ish pass that was not only pinpoint accurate, but zipped in with just enough mustard to evade the cornerback. Storm picks up the 1st down, and after a screen and scramble by Feit, Storm slants in from the 1 and the game is tied. That is where it stayed. Tough “loss” for the Cronies. Exhilarating “win” for the Feit Club. A game that proves not all ties are created equal. No Jewballs to give, but Goldberg and Storm did everything they could to help their teams, so hats off to those two gamers.
Although I can’t claim to be have been fully invested in the narrative of Game 2, being consumed by the post Game 1 hock on the sidelines, I was proud to see such megawatt talent assembled in true clash of Jewball titans. Crazy to see the star power on that field, and to then think that Yaron’s team was short a man who could not cut out of a bris – Singer was not in the huddle. What did I see? I saw Pray repeat his newfound performance piece as the human rocket launcher. He unloaded one that the Irv’s Iron Dome defense could not intercept, and it landed with a thud on Salem’s chest and there was nothing then between Salem and the end zone. 1-0 Birds. Not that Yaron wasn’t throwing the ball well – he was. His arm looks like it is back to its studly ways, but his receivers were not being as sure-handed as he might have hoped. While it wasn’t the dropfest of his games last season, there were balls that needed to be caught that weren’t. In a game where it’s 25 yards between first down markers,  a drop to erase a 7 yard gain is always costly. Although Pray had one other really nice deep ball to Salem which may have repeated as a TD if it was not slightly off, his short game was proficient enough. Pray does not want to be that running QB anymore. He can still run, but it is clear he wants to become a pass first QB. Good for him. Who better to pass to than Mighty and Prime and then let them do their thing with blockers out front. I said it in TBI and will reiterate here in the chronicles – Mighty and Prime is slash and burn, speed and power, ground and pound…whatever you want to call it. Add Legs as a relentless lead blocker. Or Tom as the human stallion. For these guys to run behind – for most teams this will be overwhelming if they are not at full power. And let’s be honest….Yaron was competitive and made it a game, but Lionhearts were not at full power. Singer would have made plays that the Lionhearts needed to be made. It was interesting to see who might step up for Lionhearts and fill that void left by Singer. If your money was on Dobs, you have been paying attention. Whether it be accumulating sacks, blocking, or catching everything that came his way – Dobs was the most reliable weapon Yaron had. I even saw the birth of his ego at some point during the game. The man who doesn’t even have the balls to talk back to his blow up doll, was actually wondering aloud why Yaron was throwing to anyone else but him. 
Its hard to call a 3-2 game uncompetitive, but from the moment Pray and Salem made it 1-0, the tone was set. Prime bullied his way to 2 more TDs. Yaron became erratic and Pray picked him off 3 times. I watched Yaron march down to within the 10 yard line 3 times only to come away with 1 score (Irv over Prime). That’s a problem. Bottom line is the BOP has once again put the league on notice. Where every other team failed to make a statement, Pray and his Birds walk away with a week 1 win. Jewball has to go to Pray for the numbers. More than anyone, Prime stepped up his game to meet the intensity we want from the League games, but he can take his 2 TDs as the reward for that. 
A word on violence: I like it. It should be a part of football. If you want to protect yourself from getting hurt, you can do what countless Jewballers have done when they reached a certain stage in life – retired. I see many Jewballers today, mostly in their 30s, who say to me…I’d love to come back, but I can’t risk getting hurt. I can’t miss work. My wife would kill me. Whatever it is. The best way to avoid injury is not to play. So, let’s start there. Once you decide to welcome the risk (for the reward) and play, you now have a certain expectation in Jewball – which is fair – that you will not be hurt by someone else who is being violent purposely or recklessly. Needless to say, we aren’t going to tolerate purposeful violence. Meaning, you can just as easily make the play in a way that doesn’t involve a collision, but you go for the collision. That’s not good or allowed. There is a way to be physical with wrapping up that doesn’t not involve violent contact with someone. Next up is recklessness. This is where we ask you to keep your head even in the heat of battle. That’s all. Size up the situation and process the data. Do not use the same force to push Daveo out at the sideline as you would for Prime. Don’t drag down Jordan as you would Singer. In other words: Be thoughtfully violent. 
I’m out this week….so….good luck and guest recap writer next Wednesday. Enjoy Week 4.

Week 2 Recap

Between the hype of Opening Day and the grandeur of our first League Game, Week 2 had the feel of what we call in sports a trap game. One where the players aren’t quite ready and overlook the opponent. One where only the team with the proper mental preparedness would win. It actually (THIS) came off accordingly. It was sort of a dull and dreary day. As opposed to week one which was played in warmth and sunshine with guests, and fans, and dogs, Week 2 was cloudy and rainy with not one attractive person on the sidelines (no, drug dealer Daveo does not count). Could be the only aspect of Week 2 this season that stood out – and the hope is that it reverberates for many seasons to come – is that it was the debut of our Rookie class getting into some real game action. And not just action, but Pollack was under center in the early game. Stepping up into a role that presented itself when Rabin and Yaron could not participate. What we saw of Pollack in Week 1 was that he is a gamer. Everyone seems to know him already. He is related to Mighty, he went to school with Beast, he dated Pop’s daughter, he works for Sam, and he learns with Klink. It’s odd he is only showing up now, but so be it. He QBed in his Israel year – I believe with Pray on his team (no joke), but had a season ending injury. He was trying a comeback for Jewball. God bless! How did it go? Not great. He moved well. That was good to see. He looked like a leader in the huddle. That is actually one of the most important (IS) attributes. The problems were – and no need to be specific – his team was not moving downfield. The first pass of his Jewball career was promising. A slant to Might that picked up a chunk of yards. But the drive stalled, as did all the others that followed. There was a pick to his co-Rook, Burt. He had opportunities. Feit, who looked really good, quick, and bouncy, wasn’t perfect. He threw a bad pick to Tabak in the redzone, but he otherwise was running and gunning, as Clyde might say. It was a one sided game for the first 45 minutes. Feit ran one in and pumped 2 in (Singer and Zada). Things did change in the 2nd half as Pray, who waited patiently (a little too patiently maybe) on the sideline for such an occasion, entered the game. Needless to say, last year’s MVP is a game changer – and he did just that. I am sure not to make Pollack look bad, but after taking the ball to start his first set, he throws one of the greatest passes Jewball has ever known – a 55 yard nuclear warhead to Munch streaking down the sideline for an incredible hook up and a TD. Pray claimed it was the farthest pass he ever threw. A few sets later, Pray took off down the sideline and evaded the crowd to score again. Although Feit was unable to put up another point, he was able to run out the clock. A win and a Jewball for Feit. The much maligned leader of FCFT may have refused to take a test before the game, but he certainly passed one by looking really sharp in his first game of the season. Look out, FCFT haters.
Game 2 was interesting in that (NOT) it was backwards. Pray had just come off looking unstoppable in half a game of football, about to take on Gronk, who had looked shaky in the first half a week earlier. I would have bet on Pray to be on fire and dominate. But you gotta play the game. And though the game sputtered for a while at the outset, it was clear that Pray was going to have trouble. Solo (and eventually Beast) had him on his heels the whole game. Pray is used to running, either sideways or forward for big yards, but in this game, he was always running backwards. On plays where he needed 5 yards, he wound up 15 yards back before being able to properly scan the field. And it was happening play after play. This is the impact of Solo (and Beast). Meanwhile, Gronk had figured his shit out. All of it. Back with OG cronies Vegh and Goldberg, Gronk was doing some home cooking. BOOM! POW! ZAP! Moving the ball effortlessly and in his comfort zone. Vegh and Goldberg picking up yards all over the place. Goldberg amassing a really nice stat line in the process with 2 scores, 1 pick, and a sack. And while stats are nice, a win is nice, since we only give Jewballs to winners. But, Gronk won you will tell me. So, give the Jewball to Goldberg for his monster game. Alas, there was no winner in this one. Somehow, someway – and I don’t understand it despite being in the game  – Gronk did not win this game. They were (A) up  2-0 and 3-1 (Dobs added a score from Gronk), but they did not win. Instead, this one ends in another tie. Pray scrambled his way to tie. His defense did just enough. In game, it felt as though Gronk and co. were unstoppable, but apparently…they were stopped just enough. Salem and Kut got enough pressure. Legs tracked down enough flags. Prime made a man’s play taking the screen and running mercenary style down the sideline for 63 yards to put his team on the board. Jordan, after dropping a brilliant pass on an out and up which may have proved a score, managed (CULT) to make a sliding grab and 4th down to preserve a drive that wound up with a Jack Ross TD. Finally, Pray did his thing and ran one in to knot the game at 3. And there it ended. Without fanfare or satisfaction on this grey and forgettable Week 2. LEAGUE WEEK NEXT!

Week 1 Recap!!

There was a time, not very long ago, when the recap was what objectively set us apart. Outside of the game being played, it was the main event. Sure, we always had – and still have – the best people, but of all the pick-up games in all the lands….we had this witty, often literary, lyrical reflection of our game to bring it all together in the aftermath. Today, it stands as a record – a chronicle of what we are and who we were, going back almost twenty years. The point being that the Recap was our most obvious distinction, amid a sea of weekend warrior pursuits. We would assemble and play our games – the good, the bad, and the ugly (mostly ugly good), and then we would sum it up, blast some guys, praise some guys, and on to the next. The Recap told us we were special (although I think Oren once sent me emails from a guy who did Recaps of a fantasy league and the guy seemed to be just like yours truly – it was scary). What I am getting at is – although I appreciate that everyone (seemingly) still wants the Recap…it is so far from what makes us special nowadays. We have started to make good on our promises. Not promises to each other exactly, but the promises of the Golden Age and the Renaissance. When we said we should do this and this and this and get together for this and this – and…..we never did any of them. We loved each other. The love was there. Sledge made us a half assed website in 2007 (and it was awesome!) and we did some filming (the records remain!), but we never lived up to our off-the-field dreams. Needless to say, things have changed. I’m not going to rehash once again our magical and miraculous run of the past few years and what guys have brought to the table, culminating with our most mind-blowing milestone to date – an event which – if broken down into its pieces – encapsulates and magnifies every stunning nuance of what Jewball is and has become. That would be our Draft Party. Forgetting the fun factor and how impressive a spectacle it was and the professionalism of all aspects – from the food to the setup to the show – one thing – for me – stood out far and away above it all. That was when Doggy and Marino and Hands pulled up and bore witness to promises fulfilled. I can’t really explain how much that means to me. Because we are living their dreams. We are benefitting purely from their loyalty and commitment to this game – before it had any bells and whistles (besides a Recap). Yes, I know many of you played for years when things weren’t this epic. When we got thrown off field after field and felt like outcasts and nomads – unwanted. Sorry, you can’t play here. Sorry, this muddy patch of grass that no one will even walk past for the next five hours is not meant for you. The emails flying on a Sunday morning trying to re-direct traffic. Leaving a guy behind to tell anyone who may show up “They are going to North Woodmere Park.” And now the Nassau County Executive is at our Draft Party as we play our 4th consecutive season on a turf field. So, I am most proud and moved by the fact that we have given our Vets a glimpse of a manifest destiny. Jebwall has become what we always thought in our hearts we were. Special. I’ve said it before, but my hope is that each of us – if we put in the work and the time – will have a home, ten, twenty years from now in Jewball. That it will continue to figure out ways to define itself and be something more than a Sunday morning game – more than a game with a sweet recap. And now, to that Recap – Week 1 of the 2021-2022 season…
The sun shone on Week 1. In so many ways. Thirty Two players poised to join in the festivities in what could have been the most anticipated Opening Day in Jewball history. Opening Day is always a thrill, but we have really never had so much possibility for greatness (see prologue). But, as is always the case, greatness and possibility are the stuff of analysts and the talking heads of Three Balls In. What happens on the field matters.
The boys gathered at our new temporary home (What could be more Jewball than another opening day testing fate on unfamiliar soil, er, turf. Hewlett High School served its role and felt a welcoming bastion in our pre-season and the good vibes continued through Opening Day. Nary a threat in site. The one tech who approached with keys a-dangling, emptied a garbage can and turned back toward the building. A good sign. May our good deeds continue to merit us good fortune.
The day starts with Feit bowing out at around 7am. The joke was that Rabin poisoned him to take over the Feit Club this season, or maybe it was Yaron to just get the 8am start. Either way, he needed a replacement and Yaron grabbed it. Feit, feel better. I heard horse de-wormer is money. Blessed is Jewball where we can lose a star QB an hour before the game and replace him with another star QB. So Colors does not lose a step and Yaron lines up with Tabak, Sam, MK, Storm, Munch, and a super giddy Zada, who missed the entire last season. Across the way Pray returns to defend his MVP and look to repeat for the first time since Marino pulled off the trick a decade ago. In his huddle is Prime, Maor, Steveo, PJs, Singer, and Beast. I will add that the day was hot. The fans were hot. The dogs were cute. And add to that 2 proud Rooks (Pollack and Burt) staking their claim to a Jewball heritage – fighting for a spot at the line.
The story of Game 1 for the first 3 quarters was….big plays taking each team to the redzone, but no points on the board. That isn’t to say the QBs were deficient. They were…DEALING. Both Yaron and Pray looked as good as we’ve seen them. Throws were precise and with serious zip. Think Sam made the first 1st down of the season with a really nice catch slung by Yaron. Tons of beautiful passes. Just nothing to show for it. Beast and Munch were taking turns forcing the QBs to change their best laid plans. Yaron had a chance with Zada, but the kid who spent last year locked in a basement in Queens wasn’t yet up to the task. Pray twice found receivers behind the defense, but both Pray and Singer could not get enough separation to put 3 balls in. Jordan had a shot after a well-executed fake reverse but Singer tracked him down. It looked like the season would kick off a scoreless tie. But then….one of those drives ended with
Pray firing a bullet from his 19 yard line to the back of the end zone just over the outstretched arms of MK and into the awaiting mitts of his most trusted bird…PJS! Incredible all-hands grab which at the time seemed to be a game winner. With ten minutes left on the clock and Yaron facing an opening day L, everyone got a little more serious perhaps. In crunch time, Yaron found a way to score – going to his man Storm on a pretty out route. Stat! Count It! Yaron was really confident yesterday. He basically knew that his arm was capable of getting the football through the tiniest of windows. Defenders could not catch up to it. Each team took the ball one last time, but neither scored. So…not a 0-0 tie, but a tie nonetheless…no Jewball (for PJs).
Game 2 had no last minute cancellations. And also had 2 venerable, impressive Rooks fighting for Jewball relevance. Welcome Benjy and Bentzy (nicknames to follow…probably). Game 2 did not have the scoring dysfunction that plagued Game 1. Yaron stepped to the plate again (yes, Mighty! I know that’s baseball!!!), this time with his team consisting of Dobs, Salem, Jordan, Logan, Rabin, and Mighty. He faced off against Gronk debuting with Daveo, Kut, Tom, Goldberg, Ross, and Ivry in supporting roles. Good to see the sophomores out there! (Even though Ivry should have caught one per the dude walking the track in a headset he borrowed from PJs)
Yaron took ball first and was unceremoniously picked by Ross straight away. A rough start, but nothing like Gronk’s, The man who just drafted like a genius seemed confused and rusty in his first few sets. It did not last, but the first half belonged to Yaron. Riding the phenomenal hands and elusive legs of Mighty to gain yards and first downs, the third drive was capped by a SCINTILATING over the top TD pass to Logan in right corner. Dark up 1-0. With Gronk continuing to struggle (no completions until late in the 2nd quarter – and Mighty picking him twice) Yaron stayed on point. Yaron called Jordan’s number on the next drive allowing the Commish to run an out and up that was successfully hauled in for 47 yard. A few plays later (and, yes, after a Jordan sure-TD drop!) Yaron went back to Jordan and this time it was caught for the score. Gronk got the ball back and threw a completion! I think it was to Kut! Yaron – being very generous to this Recap writer – called an out and up again (Daveo bit on the first one and Bentzy fared no better) and Jordan broke free for his second TD of the game (honorable mention to Ross for telling me I started my celebration at the 5). At this point Gronk was awake. Colors never had an issue with men being open. They were open from go. Dark was a mess on defense. With Yaron, Jordan, and Rabin playing…well…old and busted – a lot of work was left to Salem, Dobs, Logan, and Mighty. They were doing their best covering up for the miscues, but it was just a lot of deficit to deal with. The only saving grace was Gronk preferring to throw the ball at Beast’s girl’s head than his receiver. Once Gronk figured out his mechanics, Dark was sitting ducks. He began to effortlessly pick the defense part. Same play. Same play. Same play. Ivry or Jack in motion. Goldberg flashing over the middle short. Tom and Kut sneaking out over the middle deep. Jack and Ivry drawing the corners. It spelled trouble. The only question was could Yaron score again and could the clock run out on Gronk and co.
Same play included an option to run and Gronk has perfected the slow motion spin move which makes the flags disappear in a hypnotic way. Logan would say just tackle him. But, Logan, you try tackling someone while hypnotized! Same play included Goldberg pushing Benjy back 2 yards 4 times during a 10 yard run. The result though was back to back scores. One a TD pass to Tom and then a dance and bull rush by Gronk.
At this point the day was scalding. It felt very No Mas out there. We don’t take water breaks (and this idiot brought hot coffee) but it felt like hydration would have been wise. It was the kind of game where you had to give yourself a pep talk to move when the QB said hike. One person who stepped up late in the game after an otherwise quiet day on offense (though adding 2 sacks – must be the new muscle he packed on) was Dobs. When it mattered most – when Dark needed a score to gain some breathing room (and breathing was not easy late in that game) – Dobs had that extra which made the difference. Fighting through defenders and establishing position in the middle of the field, he pulled in a rocket from Yaron and split the defense in the process. All were too tired to chase. Dark takes a 4-2 lead. Because why should anyone get a break – physical or mental – on a 75 degree day, Gronk comes right back and scores, once again to Tom just resting in the middle of the field. After a stop, Colors had a chance to tie the game and push into OT, but mercifully Rabin pulled Gronk’s flag at the 5 yard line on a 4th and long to ice Week 1. A victory for Yaron and a Jewball for Bron. He played like the King.
Who wants week….:)
I’ll be sending the new sign up format – now

JEWBALL DRAFT 2021

Our first ever Jewball Draft was a smashing success!! Details and teams will be posted, but below is the video of the live draft, courtesy of PJs and Daveo who were brilliant: