June 2020 – JEWBALL

Another Jewball season in the books.
There is nothing like starting a season. With its rabid anticipation and warm returns to family and familiarity. There is nothing like being in the heart of the season. Settling into the routine of week in and out action and comradery and feeling like it will be this way forever. There is nothing like the tail-end of a season. Trying to hold on and make it last even as the melancholy sets in – knowing that nothing lasts beyond its expiration date. And, finally, there is nothing like a season being over. A chance to look back, appreciate what was – seeing the full picture. Gaining the perspective of near omnipotence – what unfolded, how it unfolded, maybe even sometimes understanding why. Who came into our lives. Who disappeared. What storylines dominated then dissipated. What stuck. What happened that was predictable. What happened that was entirely unexpected. Were we blessed or cursed this past year? Did we live up to those opening day expectations? Do we feel more or less connected to the game and our brothers who play it? Have our loyalties deepened? Do we see ourselves playing onward? If so – for how long?
These are all post-season contemplations. And, although there are no games to be played – and that stings – there is a poetry in processing a season as a whole.
We have always (pretty much) had the recaps. Going back fifteen years. I have been blessed to write most of them. I have been blessed to have some of you write some of them. I understand the recaps are integral to Jewball. May I one day regain the creativity and humor and spirit I once had to write them as I did back in the Golden Age. May I one day meet Singer’s lofty expectations! Yes, we once had a website, but it was nothing compared to what we have now. So, when I say there is a beauty in seeing the season as a whole – that is conceptual. We look back now and see a season in our vivid memories – fresh and vibrant. We tell the tales of 2019-2020. The midseason wave of Gronk. The opening day in Lynbrook with Flash. Snow and Jesus returning. Beast scoring on and off the field. We can’t believe there was Jewball before Dobs, Storm, Pray, Mo….doesn’t it seem like they have always been with us? Maybe they have. Maybe that’s how it works. We are simply tapping into a life force that once was – in another time and dimension – and the game is just drawing us back to that source – connecting those who were always connected, just didn’t know it in this form. Maybe. Sometimes it feels like it.
What I am getting to is our website. Yes, I know….to talk about websites is like talking about something from the Paleolithic Era – like blackberries and two hand touch. No one deems websites cutting edge anymore. They are the opposite. BUT….for our purposes – what we have done with it this season – what it holds for us – its existence is priceless. It represents a vision of that eternal source we spoke of earlier. So, although it seems like a million years ago when it was introduced, it was in fact this season. I thank Yaron once again for all his contributions to our game – and the evolution we have experienced. There has never been a better way to truly behold ALL the majesty of Jewball. Between the old recaps, pictures, bios, and many brilliant features (thank you Kut and Steveo!)…Jewball has a home that can be revisited anytime from anywhere. And, see….I didn’t even mention stats.
But, stats were part of the storyline this season, and so let’s get to Week 20.
Week 20 was a long time coming. Not our fault. If we flashback to Week 19, the season had just come off an epic Vets Rooks battle and was looking to bring another STRONG season in for a landing. Rumors about the virus were circulating. Some people were sick. Gronk was OUT! We were hoping to get Week 20 in. We even had a post Week 20 game planned. The first ever Father-Son Old Timers Day. May we have it in the near future! Vets were talking DOMA. This was early March. Then everything closed (even DOMA!).
I remember that first Sunday without a game. Yaron and I met up and threw the ball around at Woodmere Middle School with our kids. What would be? The signs were ominous. The news was hazy, but storm clouds were gathering. The virus was about to take over our lives.
Rabin got sick. He got tested. He had it. Beast reported a close friend died. A guy my age in North Woodmere passed away – also a friend. The number of cases and deaths and general terror was just increasing by the day. We all locked ourselves away and went into self-preservation mode. The chat was quiet, but we were still there for each other. As best we could be.
At that time – March turned into April – and I don’t think anyone would have dreamed that we would be writing a season recap this summer. There would have been an asterisk on the season. Marked incomplete. 19 Weeks and 3 Bowl Games. By Dark Age standards….an incredible fete! But since the Revolution (aka last year), less than 20 would be a letdown.
In May, things started to point in a positive direction. Cases down, hospitalizations down. New York was either flattening the curve or the virus was simply moving on after kicking our asses. And so as Long Island began phasing into re-opening, we tested the waters. We played. We came back home. We reunited. For many of us it was the first “social” activity in months. And doesn’t that make sense? Our “lives” were contained and restrained due to the virus – making it impossible to do the things we live for. So when that cracked open window of opportunity presented itself – Jewballers made the decision easy (however reckless : ) We took a chance – but not frivolously as some might argue – we took a chance and got back to doing exactly what we live for. Life without Jewball is not a life!
And although on the field is where we make our living, the end of year return to “normal” was highlighted by DOMA and a gathering of Veterans like has never been seen since Game Night 2010. Thank you Rabin for that shining moment.
In the year 2020, Week 20 was played on Father’s Day, June 21st. There had never before been a Jewball game played in the month of June – naturally. It was over 80 degrees and water breaks were not (really) frowned upon. The early game got underway close to on-time on a shortened field due to soccer (two Jewballers in that game btw – neither of them Legs). It was a very apropos 2020 matchup of Yaron v. Pray. A matchup that really defined our season – like Yaron v. Gronk did last season. As we all know, Prager (aka Pringle aka Pray) made his debut this season – and what a welcome revelation he has been. Really, everything you look for in a Jewballer. From real skills to stone cold commitment to winning demeanor to gamer attitude. May he one day feast amongst the Veterans. He started off the season on fire. He made Yaron his bitch in every way possible way. Yaron would leave the field each week whining and crying and making excuse after excuse. He looked washed up! Done! (Just kidding, Brony – this is called fan service). But he did beat Yaron a lot early on. The arm was strong and accurate. The defense was fierce. Like his mentor, Ivan Drago, Prager was a machine. But, Yaron would not allow himself to be vanquished. Even before the injury that effectively took Prager out of his QB role until Week 20, Yaron got his groove back. Going into Week 20 – without checking – their head to head matchups were close to even.
On this final day of the season, Prager in Colors lined up with Mighty, PJs, Prime, Tom, Asa, and Steven. On the other side of the ball was Yaron in Dark leading Goldberg, Beast, Rabin, Jordan, Daveo, and Mo. The only way to tell the story of this game is to present the Jewball in advance. Beast always has the football mentality. He doesn’t always have the game to match it. You see it in there, but sometimes….I don’t know…maybe the weed affects him….whatever it is – his game is not on the highest level. This past Sunday, he was playing at a level beyond anyone else on the field – from wire to wire. I think there is a reason for it. I think this virus had him thinking. I think there is new clarity in his life. Maybe it’s also the girl. I think he’s on a mission. I think it changed him physically, psychologically, and spiritually. He always preached – but now you see the results – and damn, makes me a believer. Whatever he is doing – it is working. He was dangerous on Sunday. Dangerous fast, dangerous strong, and dangerous focused. Unstoppable is another way to put it. So, in scoring 3 TDs and moving the ball all day – in fighting at the line each play with no one able to match his drive – he gets Jewball. That said, Yaron drives the ball with Beast and punches it in with Goldberg to get the scoring started. 1-0 Dark. Prager then gets pickpocketed by Daveo on the subsequent drive. Staring into Mighty on the short cross from the 5, Daveo reads it and steps right into the route. P6 served up fresher than a salad at QCumbers – Dark goes up 2-0. Adding insult to injury, Prime drops what may have been a TD pass on the next drive. Looks like another hardluck day for Prager. Eventually, though, his main weapons start doing what they do. Mighty and Prime put up points, but Dark had already turned on Beastmode. It actually got started with a spectacular Daveo one-handed diving first down reception. After that momentum reshift, Beast took over. Colors was never able to tie the game or take the lead because Beast was ripping off one big play after another. In the scorching heat, no one could keep up with his engine. With his girl watching, Beast put on a show. 3 scores in a row to give Dark a two TD lead. Asa cut it to one late with a nice over the middle route that Prager exploited with a fine deep ball, but a costly miscue again on a short field did Colors in. Mo P6s his way to a final score of a very successful rookie season and the game ends with Yaron putting his stamp on the momentum of dominance he has held over Pray for many months now.
I would say…the rivalry between Pray and Yaron will continue next year….but…will it? With Gronk being away for most of the season, Prager stepped in to make sure we had competitive games each week, but Week 20 reminded us that we have a very serious contender waiting in the wings. Like the Frog Licker, Feit is for real. Feit is an elite kinda QB who may just demand our full attention. Yes, he needs to be around more. Yes, we need to be able to pencil him in week in and out, but he has the goods. It will definitely be worth exploring our best options for next season at signal caller.
Out of respect for Rabin, I will only say 5 things about Game 2. 1.) Feit won 6-1 in a brilliant performance 2.) Jordan scored the only TD for his team and worked really hard for it 3.) Steven played dehydrated after sleeping under tree and dressed like steroids John Lennon 4.) Beast continued to be a relentless force and 5.) Goldberg, putting up 4 scores, and 2 picks (one of them a P6), stole the Jewball from his quarterback.
This transitions well into our season MVP. Is it Goldberg? No. But the newlywed deserves a ton of credit for being in the conversation. I don’t want to go on and on about someone who is not our MVP, but earlier on the chat I said that I thought Goldberg was soft when he first came on the scene, but – I had said – I was wrong. You know what? I wasn’t wrong! He was soft! He had a chip on his shoulder for sure and he played hard – occasionally showing flashes of the player he has become. But let’s not pretend that we misjudged him. I don’t think we did. I think he gets credit for honing his craft and getting tougher and tougher each week. He does not get Jewball MVP this year, but look out for him in the future.
Beast also doesn’t get the MVP this year, but I think he is the man to beat next year. If the change I see in him and his game sticks – there will be no reckoning with that power.
Which brings us to Yaron. Even Yaron is thinking….Yaron? Yaron was not a finalist, but let’s take a moment to give this man a standing ovation. He is not a finalist….kinda because we take him for granted. The things he does for the love of Jewball are MVP caliber. If you created a commissioner in a lab, it is him. I could retire tomorrow and Jewball would live on without missing a beat. His season was great, but uneven – and other guys had more recognizably next level campaigns. I will say one thing before we get to the final 3. Last year, Yaron won season MVP and it was glaringly obvious that it was his. This year, someone will get it – but it is not as perfect a fit as last year.
Mighty doesn’t care if it’s him, but he does care that I write nice things about him. He knows how much I (and we all) respect his game. He was the first star of Jewball and he still is a star all these years later. That is a guy you always need to account for. His tenacity in Vets Rooks gives me chills to this day. He was so banged up. Could barely walk between plays. Limping and stretching and trying to stomach the pain. But…he lead us. Put the ball in his hands and he feels no pain. I will always picture him that way. And, none of us can argue this fact: With his production, if he played 15 or 16 games, he would run away with the MVP. His numbers are comparable to the two finalists (if not better) every single time he plays. However, it is The Revolution. Any other year – where we struggled to get games and organizing was unreliable and the league was on shaky ground – 13 games played would have been respectable. But, everything takes place in its time. And when you have guys like Zada and Prime who play virtually every single week (and every single game) – how can they not have the edge?
Jewball MVP is not just about the numbers, it is about the commitment to Jewball. All of our finalists have it (along with premiere game changing talent), but Zada and Prime brought their A game every time and most often.
I’ll be honest – at this point it may be a toss-up. I don’t want to disrespect either player by making it seem like the choice is obvious. My other problem being that it’s almost a cliché by now if I screw over Zada. Zada, who did not get a single Jewball this season (I may have robbed him once or twice – not on purpose!)….is a finalist for the Jewball MVP – so that goes to show you that it’s a big picture award. Like Goldberg, I for sure underestimated him. He is tough as nails, has incredible instincts, and cares about playing exceptional football every play. He also has the best attitude. Finally, he cleaned my hat and returned it to me even though I watched him bleed into it from his nose for twenty minutes straight – to the point where the blood was pooled in it like a purple swamp. And he thought I wanted it back?!
But, what about Prime? Played more Jewball than anyone else. Brings it each week. The right attitude. A joy. A joy for the game, for being out there – with the guys. A joy to be around. Takes pride in being a Jewballer. I’ll never forget – one week we are walking off the field after a solid game. Me, Prime, and Beast. With all sincerity, Beast and Prime are telling me – Jewball, they say – they’re in it for life. Until they can’t play another game. I’m dragging the bag of gear between the gate and the parking lot. I look at Prime to see if he’s joking. He’s not. He has that look. Kind of wide eyed but intense. He’s in it for life. And what has he done in two seasons other than prove that sentiment. 33 out of 40 games!!! All 3 Bowl Games! And 3 bowls in his car before each game! For real, weed jokes aside – though – the guy is all in. And, like he told me – and meant it – in it for life. What more can a 20 year veteran and 15 year commissioner want from a Jewballer? Prime says it, means it, plays like it, backs it up.
He can’t pass rush like Goldberg. Doesn’t have the stamina of Beast. Not the prestige of Mighty. Or the ball hawk skills of Zada. But he has shown in 2020 that with a flare that never overwhelms his humility, great hands (as long as its not a bullet screen pass), boundless positive energy, and most of all, a palpable commitment to our game – you can win an MVP. Primetime, congratulations on this most high of Jewball honors (no pun intended).
Jewballers, I always write this final part of this final post with tears in my eyes. Sometimes just a glistening. Other times a full on downpour. Why? Because I am so grateful. Really. It’s not that I will miss the game (even though I will). It will be back (sooner than ever before in fact). I am so grateful that another season comes and goes and I am still here to write to you. Not just as a commissioner, but as one you. That I still am able to compete. It’s a blessing that I do not ever take for granted. None of us should. To that end, we have less than 3 months until the pre-season kicks off. Usually, I need to tell you all to be cognizant of your health and physical fitness for 5 months. Usually I have to worry about the indulgences of Purim, Pesach, and Shavuot. Now….okay….July 4th bbqs are coming up – but a much shorter off season. My message is the same. Value your time in life when you can play this game. Eddie has given us all hope! Careers can be extended into our 50s! But it takes work. It takes self-control. It takes discipline. It takes prioritizing the game over a lot of other things we enjoy. Let’s return to the game in the best shape of our lives. Whatever Beast is doing – we should do that.
The past few months it felt like reality was collapsing. We get distracted by the media and all we hear about is sick people and scared people. All we see is society being torn apart by politics and hate between races and religions. It shakes you up. It makes you think – is that the real world? It’s so convincing! But…that’s hype. That’s the world of people who have nothing else to do but scroll on their phones and live in a bubble of their own design.
Jewball is real. When I step on to a field with Jewballers…that is sacred. That is clarity. On the field, I only see healthy, fearless people. I see people of all colors, races, religions, ages, and maybe even sexual orientation – who LOVE each other. Who are brothers. For life.
I run into Jewballers ALL. THE. TIME. And we talk Jewball. They say they are coming back. I say great. We both know they won’t. But it’s pure love. And it always will be.
God bless Jewball.
See you in September.

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
« Mar
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30

Player	Jewballs
Jason Schlessel	4
Mighty	4
Shalom Prager	4
Mordy Dachs	3
Steve-O	2

Pos	Club	W	L	T
1	Birds of Pray	6	0	0
2	Crocs	3	2	0
2	Dawgs	3	3	0
4	Cronies	2	3	1
5	Lionhearts	1	4	1

JEWBALL

5-Towns Jewball Football

Month: June 2020

2020 JEWBALL MVP

2020 Awards

2019-2020 Season Recap + Week 20

DOMA Night

Jewball Awards Poll

Jewball MVP Poll

Offensive Player of the Year

Defensive Player of the Year

Rookie of the Year

Most Improved Player

Week 20 Sign-ups open!