As League playoffs start in a few hours, I would be even more remiss than usual if I didn’t get out – even in this flimsy manner – a recap for the final week of League Games. Meanwhile, I’m watching Heretic, which is brilliant. With first place on the line, Gorillaz and Reapers squared up to prove who goes into the playoffs with the most swagger. Steve-O, with as low key a façade as they come, managed to show his interior depth once again, by way of his drafting. The team seemed scattershot and incongruent. Would Solo be engaged? Could Feit shake off the Top Guns PTSD? Could Mighty have an MVP season? I mean…..it’s as if the Wizard knew the future. Just not sure how far into his crystal ball he has seen. I guess we find out in the morning. Although there has been no fully dominant team like 2023’s Birds of Pray or 2022’s Roll Tide, The Reapers have been the class of Leagues this season. Gorillaz and Carnivores started strong. The Ducks had their moment in the sun. But in the end….
This game was a low scoring, by the numbers affair. Although I was on the other field (to be recapped), I have to presume there was great defense. Of course Mighty had 2 scores – and that’s all the Reaper offense needed. I was lucky enough to look up and see a behind the back lateral from Goldberg to Mighty. Based on the box score, Pray did all he could. The reigning MVP threw 1, picked 2 (one of em for 6), but the extra point does him in and Reapers take the top spot by a single point. Feit takes a team to 1st place. Solo is engaged AF. Mighty gets another Jewball. Reapers making this very interesting.
With nothing to play for, of course Yaron puts it all together and wins. The Ducks had eliminated BLOP with their prior W and was all about healing and filling in holes (pause) on Week 19. But some things – some injuries – a week or two off won’t cure. And that was the position Ernie and his Ducks found (and find) themselves in as both BK and Tommy – two stalwart players – the muscle of the Ducks – sustained season ending injuries. They got Stats and Kagan to replace Tommy and BK, but was a wet day, very slippery. And while Dachs merely had the flu, his team suffered from dropsy. BLOP was just bullying. They punched in all the TDs that eluded them all season. Yaron throws 6 and Ice Man throws 1. Jewball to OPY Ice for 3 TDs, 1 thrown, and 3 picks.
The late game a blow out with Zinn asserting his dominance as a QB and multi-tiered threat. Ran for 2, threw 2 and a pick 6. Kut continued to be an offensive juggernaut with 2 scores. Pray finishes off a low caliber day for him – throwing only 1 TD to Prime. That’s 2 TDs thrown by Pray on an IN BOTH day. Rough one for the MVP. Let’s see how he does tomorrow when everything is on the line.
Week 18 Recap – VETS ROOK PLAYOFFS
As I watched the theatrics then fallout from NBA All Star Weekend (as you read this, you’ll be able to spot the various time periods I worked on it), it had me reflecting on Vets Rooks and the treatment we give it here at Jewball. Although some (Mighty) have argued that we should make it an All-Star game, I’ve resisted this notion. And now I’ve resisted to the last, as next year it will be someone else’s decision. (As an aside – Jewball, I will never ever ever leave you hanging. The IPWT era will begin, but until God recruits me to the Jewball games in the Olam Ha’Emet, I will contribute whatever I can – as much or as little is needed to keep our glorious institution afloat and on the rise.) What stood out consuming the All Star game festivities was how intent they were in injecting it with pomp and circumstance. The playbook read: SELL that this game means something because we are telling you it means something. We will dress it up and commentate and reminisce and this will create the illusion of import. And hopefully….HOPEFULLY the illusion will become the reality. Well, the fallout from social media and analysts said this plan crashed and burned. Mostly because the players themselves, both current and former, plainly stated as much. The older players criticized the dumbing down of it all. The younger players said the game is meaningless to them. Well, that game is played like it is meaningless.
Say what you want about VR…at the very least, it brings people out. The fun is in the rosters. The pre-game trash talk. The players that circle the game on the calendar. It’s that…”If I play one game this season, I’m coming out for VR.” It’s the game Singer flew in from Florida for (and then back). It’s the game Zez just flew in from Israel for (and saved a life along the way). There is something compelling about it. Whether you call it nostalgia or hype. In a way, just showing up matters as much as playing well. One thing that will inherently separate VR from an exhibition match is….it’s always been a regular season game. It counts. And Jewballers never phone it in when they can rack up a W (and maybe some stats along the way). They come out and compete. Maybe the concept of VR doesn’t mean what it once did, but there is no one on the field taking plays off. And that’s what makes the difference.
Luckily, I already talked about the disgraceful way Juniors Seniors ended (each side thinking…yeah…because of you, other side!) so we can just talk about the game.
I guess we have to go back to the pre-game trade. It’s relevant. Because Rabin had to clear out a deep impact, the Seniors picked up a QB who made a big impact. Gronk not only gave the Seniors a big advantage on both sides of the ball, it took a very versatile player away from the Juniors. That said, the Juniors had a loaded roster, and all the talent needed to go to the finals in back to back years. But then the snow came. Not enough to cancel the game (sorry Goldberg), but just enough to trap Solo (and Spira) and all of a sudden, the Juniors were mortal. There was also enough snow to have us all move our cars out of the LHS parking lot right before game tim, so it was a very Jewball-esque ceremony of rolling with obstacles and just finding a way to get the game in.
With Gronk on the other side and Solo snowed-in (and Storm on the IR), it was left to Yaron, Prime, Zada, Stella, Goldberg, Logan, Beast and their new toys, Legs, Dobs and Pray to do the heavy lifting. Yaron took ball first and it was a quick 3 and out. Gronk came in for the Seniors and sized up the defense. He immediately judged it as not formidable. Gronk with time is a nearly unstoppable force and the Juniors defense could not figure out an effective alignment early in the game. Gronk just picked it apart with Mighty, Jordan, Tom, Daveo, and Steve-O at his disposal. The Seniors were scoring early and often, while Yaron just managed one TD to Dobs in the first half. Yaron was kinda throwing the game away. Like Prime said, “Pick to Steve-O is something you can print in advance if it’s a VR game.” With the game tied, a Steve-O pick leads to a Senior TD. Then a Gronk pick leads to a Senior TD. Mighty is going off moving the ball and scores on a graceful leap to snag a pass right up the gut and into Valhalla. Jordan grabs two of his own and Daveo adds one. As the clock ticks down on the first half, the Seniors are in control with a 4-1 lead. But then Mighty has to drop his daughter off at a Chumash Play. He’s going to be gone for 35 minutes, allegedly to return. Can the Seniors hold on until the resurrection? No. No, they cannot. The Juniors start the second half with Pray at QB and a much more fierce pass-rush of Dobs and Legs. Yaron is left on the sidelines contemplating the degree of curse worthy to damn for all eternity the day he was born. The loss of Mighty is glaring and brutal and the Seniors start losing their swagger. TD to Prime. 4-2. Seniors think, bad, but we still have room to breathe. But then on a 4th and long, with man coverage and Pray under pressure, Daveo leaves his man to…allegedly watch the run. Dobs wide open in the endzone. TD Dobs. Juniors are breathing down the neck of the Seniors who are in full panic mode, staring at the parking lot, hoping for any signs of rat droppings. Instead of playing defense, the Seniors start saying Tehillim. This doesn’t work. Pray to Stella for a TD. All is lost! ALL IS LOST….it’s 4-3….nothing is working! NOTHING IS WORKING. MK drops a sure TD, gorgeous pass down the sideline from Gronk. Gronk starts to look totally bored and that’s never a good thing when he’s your QB. He’s gonna start throwing picks on purpose….and….and….HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAY! A car races into the parking lot and pulls up alongside the field. The door opens, and out jumps….no one…..oh wait, a mouse scurries out of the car and scampers onto the field. It’s MIGHTY! The Seniors are saved. Pray throws a pick to Gronk. The clock expires. The Seniors drive one final time just for fun (and of course to make the Juniors think that they get ball last even though they are down and the clock has expired and they don’t get ball last, but…why should reality and common sense ever get in the way of good old fashioned tantrum – sorry…recap is for posterity….had to be noted for future generations).
SENIORS ADVANCE!!! (Jewball to Gronk)
Oh yeah, there was also another game. First off, need to thank Logic for being one hell of a Rook. Just a consummate pro and Jewballer from day one. Much like his fellow Rook Captain, Zinn….a true role model in every way for our young players. On the field effort and skill. Off the field commitment and accountability. Thank you for joining us and making such a positive impression on the JCU.
It’s very cool that Avenger QBed for the Freshies. We are yet to see or know or realize what Avenger will be in Jewball, but I think he’s off to a really promising start. He plays the right way. The talent is undeniable. And he’s a character. So….it’s really just up to him whether he buys in. Hope he does. Game changing talent. Unfortunately for the Freshies, some of the top tier players were lost to injuries this season like Sherrif, Tommy, and BK. So…you’ll never know how this might have gone, but – at the same time – games are played under the circumstances which they are played. Meaning, depth of roster matters, as well as….who is zocheh to be in the game when it’s played. Also known as destiny.
The Smores we know. Honestly, hard to process and behold the Smores without Pray at the helm….But so is life. It rumbles on. We are powerless to stop time. This is one of the factors that makes VR as exciting as it is disturbing. The Smores this year were basically Roll Tide. You know that crew….Zinn, Dachs, Oppen, Stats, Ernie Rook, Waldo….The team that went all the way. And at the VR semis….they were up 4-0 quick. Dachs was a tad on fire. He threw 5 TDs! (2 to Irv, 1 apiece to Ernie, Zinn, and DK) and he rushed for one. Oppen and DK (YIKES!) sacked Avenger 5 times combined. Zinn even got in on the action with an Avenger takedown of his own. I’ll give Jewball to Captain Invader for being that Roy. Sacks better than picks. Seemed like this game would be a dud, but the Freshies stormed back. The final was 6-4 (Blitz two scores, and 2 for the new guy Avenger brought), so need to give them credit for showing grit. Pretty inspiring crew. Beyond the leadership of Logic and tenacity of Avenger, Portal was a revelation that Sunday. Landing from Israel at 5am…straight to the game, then helping out at the BBQ. I’m telling you, Jewball, the future is nothing but bright and brilliant. Jewball will be there for our kids. We carry it for us, but also for them. We will pass it down and pay it forward.
JEWBALL 2024-2025 MVP POLLS
The categories below are made to give respect to those who we believe have earned the highest Jewball achievements of the season. While some polls are limited to choices, some have write in ballots. Please consider what these players do on the field, what they do for their teams, the stats they accumulate, and how they impact the game each time they walk on the gridiron. Please note that the overall MVP award is a distinction given by our commissioner during the season recap (although he does consider the vote). Please only vote once. Make every vote count!! (Note: Most performance categories carry a 10 games played minimum)
Week 17 Recap
Coming off their impressive tie (sarcasm), the Blunts NEEDED a win and Ducks loss to remain alive for the playoffs. Ducks were playing on the other side of the split field. Looming above all this was the Pray v. Prime reunion/grudge match where each wanted to prove what he could do without and against the other. And it looked like stalemate for most of the game. Yaron leaned very heavily on Prime (perhaps too heavily), giving the Blunts’ Captain carry after carry. And Prime ran with the opportunity, picking up a lot of yards and bludgeoning the Gorillaz defense that was without their lead killer, Legs. BLOP scored first but the difference in this game was the extra points (oh, the irony!). Yaron buried one in Ice Man’s chest, but the ball bounced out. Points left on the field. Pray answered back every time, mostly with his legs. But once again, BLOP got in the endzone and took the lead. This time it was Jordan unable to haul in an extra point. The Gorillaz tied it up and finally got that critical extra point to take a lead. It was Zada hiding in plain sight and uncovered to nab the loft from Pray. Another mistake on Blunts’ resume. But Blunts were in never say die mode and took the lead one last time. The rest of the game for the BLOP….not pretty. Instead of stepping on the the throat of the Gorillaz and putting up a point that would put the game out of reach from the Gorillaz and seal a win, with 20 minutes left and 3 possessions over that period…..Blunts failed to score. On their last possession, Pray went straight run down the left sideline and Jordan could not keep up or catch him. Yaron took the ball last with a chance to tie, but the game ends on a jump ball between Jordan and Irv that Jordan couldn’t handle. No picks by Yaron. He throws 3 (2 Storm, 1 Ice). Pray threw a pick and ran 3 in. He was the man. Jewball to him.
*UNUNDEFEATED
An Ode to the Blunts of Prime
*A bird, flightless, plucked from its nest
Burning, High/stressed, embracing the test
Some questions unanswered and warnings unheeded
Draft Night, tension, the brownies unlabeled
Slight trash apprehension, a crowning is fabled
With Ice-Man and Stormy, a chip is conceded
Begin with the munchies, ready to feast
Defending like swiss cheese, from greatest to least
Bad starts can happen, a wound can be treated
Two down, still winless, doubt – it did creep
The story grows spinless, you sow what you reap
Mistakes and regrets, a mantra repeated
Deep Kuts, the sequel, a blow to the chin
Popmpous yet feeble, and bowing to Zinn
No ifs, ands, or butts, our buts firmly seated
Caught it, Prime did, now tied in a knot
Afforded more time, with one final shot
A rivalry next that could not be more heated
A wing and a prayer – is how the dream died
A team without hope is a team that is fried
Yaron should have lied more, LeBron should have cheated
The end, it approaches, a feeling that sucks
Puffing on roaches, hunting for ducks
A lone prime objective, to go un undefeated.
As far as playoff clinching, the Blunts loss to the Gorillaz did not end up mattering since the Ducks beat the Reapers. The 2023 BOP remain the lone undefeated team in League history. The Ducks won but lost BK for the season with the distal bicep tendon tear. Heal up, BK! Gronk gets the Jewball for the guest appearance at QB for the Ducks. They won this one handedly. Saw Tommy make some beautiful TD catches. Without Mighty and Ross, the Reapers could not put up points. Steveo starting them off with a score right away, but it was a barren wasteland after that. 1 TD and 5 picks for Feit. Steve-O the only TD….first score and only score. Some say the win was because of E who came in for BK and the Ducks took off. From line judge to savior. Ducks go on season defining, playoff spot seizing run…Gronk throws 4 TDs….2 Tommy, 1 Ernie, 1 Special K….almost everyone has a pick, but DK had one for 6.
The late game was a barn burner. 7-7 final, so….no Jewball (staying true to the alleged rule, but I did see recaps where I did give one for a tie due to special circumstances, but it’s been a long while) – however honorable mention due to the insane numbers for Avenger. Pray was sacked 4 times by Kut. Yaron threw 6 but was picked 3 times. Avenger threw 2, caught 2, rushed for 1, sacked Yaron and picked him twice (one of em for 6). I won’t remember many Jewball games as the years go on, but I think this one will stick.
Week 16 Recap
Week 16 Part I
With great football comes great recapsibility. Steveo is not to blame for this terrible opening line. But he is responsible for the following…
Weather was great as the players took the field at Hewlett High School on an unofficial Jewball Sunday. One-man down, Stats came in to save the day to even out the game with Jordan. Unfortunately, the short bus had not arrived yet and Special K was nowhere to be seen. Maybe it was in a different school district, but regardless he was not coming. The Commish sat the game out to keep the game even at 6s where Yaron started with the ball with one of his favorite WRs Goldberg, the Power Ranking Vampire aka Stats von Count, Spira, BZ, and the Real Slim Sammy. In the first drive Yaron connects with a beautiful pass over Steve-O and behind everyone to Stats who continues his hot streak this season to put the first score on the board. Rabin answered back with a pass to Steve-O and with a few spin moves and a broken tackle takes it down the field to balance the score. After that Yaron would bring it down the field but could not score against the defense of both O bros, Stella, Rabin, Kut, and Pray. Rabin did give them several chances throwing picks to BZ, who had a day, and finally a short pass to Stats and missed easy flag grabs, led to more stats and a 2-1 lead for Colors.
Rabin moving the ball fairly well, along with trick plays and runs with plays, sent BZ another ball his way, BZ racing to the endzone with Stella close behind, pulls ahead for a point as Stella’s Hamstring fell off making him look like the absent TBD. Earlier, J had walked off into the abyss with his fist pumped in the air, to the background of 80s music so the game was left with an odd count yet again. While the discussion to end the game, or go with an official defender, was underway, Sam went looking for his father at the convenient store, where they must have restocked the milk by now, and the game went on.
Down 3-1. Dark had the ball, but there was a major difference, there were no lineman. A dead/rush count in effect, as Jabroni reminisced about the Dark Ages he never experienced, Rabin returned back to a decade where he had no pressure and new cleats. No pass was in the ground and there were some beautiful balls thrown. The game was tied up quickly after a nice TD pass, and pick, and a beautiful run by Pray which he turned into a cross field bullet pass lateral to Kut to bring dark back in the game.
From there on out it was a fun and friendly shoot-out, both teams spreading the ball and racking up stats (lowercase). In the final moments of the game, tied at 7s, Yaron had one more drive to make it happen, but dark made the necessary stops. Rabin going with schoolyard “get open” plays, moved the ball downfield and again hitting Steve-O on the flag route where he takes it to the house for the W. A combined 7 TDs, 2 picks, 1 TD thrown, and a sack for the O bros all possible to the never-give-up attitude of a Jewball OG, throwing like Esiason and possibly retiring those cleats, of Rabin. Jewball for the GOAT.
I’ll take it from here, Wizard….
Week 16 Part II
We start with a little old school Jewball Recap moralizing from the soap box. There was controversy before, during, and after the game about Mike. I bring this up not to exacerbate it, but only to hopefully alleviate it. Though I may only be exacerbating. Here is what I will say about the Kid: He clearly hates the cold. Cali native stuck on the east coast and the low temps get under his skin and invade his soul. I don’t think he’s exaggerating how miserable the cold makes him. And I stand by and support his position that he has plenty of times stood out there in the cold and either played part time or hardly at all. He’s been a trooper at times. But….I will also say this… it’s not enough. We aren’t judged here by how much we do relative to how little we could potentially do. We are judged here based on the totality of what we do and how we do it. Compared to nothing and no one. The more you give to Jewball, the more you get. And conversely, the more you take from Jewball, the more you lose. Mike has given to Jewball. He started off like Rook and Waldo. Super interested by what he saw going on from a distance. Itching to become one of us. A very promising sign as he stood on the sidelines, waiting to get in, watching and being hopeful. Learning from Beast, talking football. It all looked so rosy and bright. But something did get lost along the way. At this point it doesn’t matter what. We all know the chat stuff, on field stuff, communication stuff. The fact is, Mike, you are one of us….and you are not too far gone. We are not beyond resolution, but it takes both sides. We all have to make sure our Jewball balance sheet always reflects more giving than taking. Kid, you have to start fresh with us – prove yourself on and off the field. And my hope is that this allows Jewball to give you a fresh start and…lay off you a bit
This preamble is a long, pedantic, and circuitous way of saying Gorillaz came into Week 16 a bit discombobulated. Their disposition matched the field’s. Hate to make Feit right and God bless him for not sending me an “I told you” so text….but I would have sworn that the sun would have melted the snow from the prior week and LHS turf would be both ours and clear. It was ours. One end zone and twenty-five yards were shoveled to make a short soccer field and a pile of snow was built like a battlefield mound just beyond the 25. The beauty of Jewball after 23 years is….you always need to find new ways to adjust, to make it work, to plow through. You can do this year after year and no matter how long you persist…you’ve never see it all. This was a first. So everyone got to doing what they do best. Mighty and Opes grabbed shovels and starting digging us out. Yaron started using his Beautiful Mind and calculated that a 60-yard field would work (15 yards shorter than our usual) and lay down the cones – and Jordan started yelling at everyone trying to help. Thank you, Might, Oppen, and Yaron for setting up the field. I did shovel the hashes, btw – so it wasn’t just yelling.
And when all the field prep was done…it was time for Reapers v. Gorillaz. The Reapers were the Top Guns of Draft Night…in that everyone was wrong about them. The Reapers lost draft night. That was murmurs, whispers, and TBI gossip. But the hell with the rumor mill – These dudes show up! Speaking of showing up – where was Irv? Rook had already dropped the Mike and his team was still short one. Irv eventually came looking like Timmy Tim…skipped the mandatory stretches and hopped on the field. Can’t miss those stretches, Irv. Opening play with Pray over center for the 2-1 Gorrilaz….Irv gets a step on Ross on a post to the middle of the field. Perfect pass….and right through the wickets. Would have made a huge statement. Would have likely been a score. Would have changed the entire dynamic of the game for Gorillaz and settled everything down. Instead, it compounded everything. Sorry, Irv…was that kinda day. See you Sunday. Bring it.
Meanwhile, Feit has only been building and gaining momentum with his squad. The QB has shown that he has a non-stop motor – and I’m talking about his mouth on the sidelines. Just kidding (I mean, not really). But for real – he’s playing really good football, and as the weeks progress and Reapers keeping sowing wins, Steveo is looking more and more like a….well…..a draft wizard. Feit is making passes that no one else makes. Not that he is the most talented QB in Jewball. He isn’t. He knows it. But right now…he’s the master of touch (relax, PJs). It’s not just the high and tight fastball to Goldberg for the TD on a slant. It’s the looping sky-high arch of a pass to Logic in the back corner of the endzone. It’s the passes that meet his receivers at the exact right moment whether they are on a cross or a fly. Keep this dude in mind come awards season. His story is a great one (speaking of fresh starts that no one saw coming). From irreparable Feet to incredible feats.
Another great performance in this game was that of the line judges. One in particular. When Rook picked Feit in the endzone, Jordan was right on the spot making the call. Didn’t give anyone time to argue whether it was a catch or not a catch. Jordan knew that the point of the line judge was to show authority. By making a definitive call so that the game would not be interrupted by incessant arguments and petty bickering. Everyone stayed cool and accepted the call. No one lost their mind. The line judge concept once again proved itself to be a worthy addition to Jewball and Leagues. Although at one point Jordan’s fellow line judge, Yaron, left his post because he said he was lonely – which is cute – but on the very next play there was a call needed right where he stood before.
Oh, btw, the Reapers crushed the Gorillaz. We start with they are great team. We start with Solo in the short sleeves totally bought in. We advance to he and Oppen menacing QBs with a boisterous spirit. We add a very talent receiving core lead by an MVP caliber Mighty. We consider Feit playing his best football and being his best self. And then we have Goldberg who was just the top player out there that day and gets the Jewball. I know this because he told me. But now I see he had 2 TDs and pick, so checks out. And we end with….poor Pray. The two time MVP might have won this game if his players….y’know….caught the great passes he threw. But they didn’t. They seemed to drop or misplay them all. I presume some catches were made, but they were few and far between. Gorillaz go to 2-2. Reapers remain undefeated at 4-0-1.
Logan must have read the Rambam’s Hilchos Teshuvah between Week 12 and Week 16. Not only does he show up to any icy field, not only does he show up to an icy field without sleeves, not only does he play, not only does he dive on the first play of the game (to make a hell of a catch), not only does he cut himself on the ice and bleed from his well-tone arms the entire game, but he does all that without saying….you don’t fucking know me, mother fuc*ers (yes, I cleaned up the second f-bomb because the context was different). Talk about a full and complete Teshuvah!
It was physical ball last Sunday (wow…writing a recap between games is a cool thing…I should do this more often ). The short field contributed to the intensity and immediacy. The whole experience felt surreal. Disorienting, but in a good way. The need to constantly orient demanded a heightened concentration level and focus. Mental toughness was at a premium. Yaron had Prime, Zinn (back from the IR), Logan, Kut, Bert, and Whiskey, and Pray lined up with Dobs, Justin, Kagan, The Rook, Tom, and Jordan. Early on, Prime was picking on the Rook, who still looked shel-shocked from the beat down he had recently emerged from in the early game. Sometimes it’s hard to wash off a loss in sports, day to day or even week to week, but Jewball often demands you do it minute to minute. Yaron took a fairly quick 2-1 lead. Prime rushed for 1 and Zinn caught one deep getting behind Pray. At the half it was 3-2 Yaron as he connected with Logan just before halftime. After some soul-searching in the locker room, Pray’s crew figured out the defense and just got gritty with it. It’s an old cliché, but in this case it was true: Pray’s team just wanted it more. OMG! Just kidding! Yaron threw some mind-numbingly bad picks that let Pray back in the game….none worse than a floating heave that he threw blindly to no one while getting sacked that landed in Dobs’ arms. Was Dobs second pick of the day. Dobs also put up a point and nearly had another one on an awesome leap in the middle of the endzone, but the ball glanced off his fingertips. His defense was also stellar, holding up Zinn so the phenom could not break free and break one off, and diving to knock away a big 3rd and short pass to Kut. Jewball to him for the inflated stat line. Shoot….I gave away the ending. Jewballs are for winners and this means Pray won. The QB who was plagued by drops in the League Game was blessed with a bounty of caught balls in the late game. Pray, who was also clearly rattled by the early game, hung in the there and hung tough. He ran when he needed to. Picked up some critical first downs by inches in pivotal moments when his team needed a leader and a back to jump on. Down 3-2 with a quarter of football left, he found Kagan in the back of the endzone to tie things up, right? And then took the lead when Rook was left alone deep. He even challenged Zinn on a deep ball and stuck with him stride for stride, knocking the pass away at the last second. Yaron and co. did not score for the last 30 minutes of the game due to such relentless defense, with Tom in particular picking up some big time sacks and applying pressure on every play. And just generally, Pray’s team utilized that sports intangible known as momentum….it swung wildly in this one. Yaron’s crew was losing their cool as Pray’s crew was gaining their confidence on route to a comeback dub.
Week 15 Recap
The Reapers were still lossless when they came into this one and the Blunts were absolutely desperate to salvage their season, especially after the Ducks got a W on their ledger. Without Oppen this time and having played them close in their prior contest, Blunts had reason to believe. It was a great back and forth game. Reapers were up early, but the infamous skip pass to Prime rallied the Blunts. As for the call itself. We all said the same thing. The ball sounded like it grazed turf, but the visual showed catch. Who knows? Goldberg would argue either way. At some point Zinn showed up with the camera and we have some great shots of the end of this one, prominently featuring this recapper. Yaron to Jordan over the top down the sideline on 4th and long to keep the Blunts alive. Ice Man ties the game on the next play. To College OT we go. On 4th down again, Jordan to the rescue. A drop and then a recovery while sliding in the back corner of the endzone puts Blunts up a score, but tis the season of Mighty. A dump pass from Feit at the 7 has Mighty dashing for the endzone. Ice Man meets him at the 5 and pushes him all the way back to the ten. The Blunts are frozen. Staring and not swarming as we promised ourselves we would. Mighty keeps his thunderous legs churning and Ice Man starts losing his grip. As Mighty slides out of Ice Man’s grasp, the Blunts begin to get over, but it’s too late. Mighty is in and the game is tied. That’s how it ended.
Across the way, Pray beats Gronk in a close one, 6-5. Gronk, as always, spreads the ball. TDs by Kut, Special K, Stats, and Tom. Pray pours in 3 with Ernie, 2 to the Rook and 1to Zada. Wish I had the details on this one. Seems like a beast of a showdown. Jewball to Ernie for the hat trick.
Late game another tie – 4-4. Pray v. Dachs. Dachs does it with Storm, Stats and Ice (and runs one in). Pray throws all of his (2 to the Rook (who is racking up gaudy season TD numbers) on a 4 TD day!, 1 Prime, and 1 BK.
Week 14 Recap
Was interesting to see from the treasure trove of Recaps O unearthed in his yahoo account from 2010 how often others stepped in to recap. I remember Ike doing it, but Rabin also wrote a bunch. Good on ya, boys. I use this as segue to not only encourage others who may enjoy writing to get into the recap business, but also to prepare us for next year when I will be away. So, you could say….Commish, your memory of the games are non-existent and your caps have basically become a narrative version of the box score…you can do this from abroad. This is true. But that doesn’t mean we can’t paraphrase Rabin’s favorite hat and Make AmeReCaps Great Again. Next season! More writers! Better recaps!
I was away for Week 14, but here goes (you see!)
In the early one Pray goes old school official QB and beats himself 5-4. Nothing more Jewball than an official QB. Takes me back to my roots when I fell head over cleats in love with this game and we played it if it was at all possible. Mighty continues putting up MVP (HINT!) numbers and had 2 scores and a pick in the loss. Jewball, I guess, to Prime for 2 scores in the W.
Yaron threw for the Zinnless, Gronkless Carnivores? Where the hell was I for this? Ducks destroy Carnivores 30-6. Think this was the game where Kut had no team but I forced him to play cuz no time left. Geez. Dachs threw 2 and ran 2 in. Jewball to him. Ernie lives!
Late Game was a tie 6-6. Bron and Pray. Think the debut of Special K. Pray has a nice line in the tie….3 thrown, 2 ran in, 2 picks (1 of em for 6).
Week 13 Recap (Placeholder)
They say stats don’t tell the whole story, but when all you have are stats you can make one up. This story takes place on Hannukah at the Maccabowl game. Early Game 1 is one to remember, or make up depending which way you look at it. An incredibly high scoring game with Team Tom’s brother consisting of Pray, Zada, Sting, O, Kid, Iceman, and Tom’s brother facing off against Team Tom with Gronk leading Tom, Blitz, Goldberg, Kut, Prime, and his son Sam.
Gronk passes his way down the field and zings one into the endzone for Blitz, one of his two TDs this game. Pray responds with a deep pass to Iceman who was there to cradle it on a diving catch to tie up the game. Gronk responds with a TD to one of his old favorite WRs Goldberg to take the lead again. With Kut leadin the way Pray rushes one in and ball back to Gronk. After a series of short play Gronk sends one deep to Prime but the wind kills the ball in the air and falls short into the arms of Pray. He marches back down and throws one to Sting to add to their score.
Gronk does connect with primes who bullies his way into the endzone, but after that it was a battle team Tom wasn’t ready for. Goldberg picks one off and Gronk spreads it and gets Kut and Blitz another score each, but too many bad decisions leading to a handful of picks including two to iceman, one to Zada, and another P6 to pray. While putting up 5 points is often enough Pray and Ice each rushed one in and Pray threw 5 leaving them with a 4 point lead for the win. Great offense and a great defense gets Tom’s brother a win.
In a much closer game on the other side of the field Bron led a team of Beast, BZ, Brody, Legs, Stats, and TBD against the Bin Zinn combo and E, Logic, Ross, Solo, and J. This game was a classic shoot-out a back and forth battle going point for point. The question is does Bron choke or is J’s losing curse too strong to allow that. Both Bron and BinnZinn threw for 4 TDs so seems even. TBD, Legs, and BZ raked in 5 sacks together against Solo’s solo sack, edge to bron. Bron threw 3 picks one to Logic, Ross, and Zinn to Bin’s 1 pick, edge Bin, BUT unfortunately that pick was a P6 showing the pressure was too much and Brody for the defensive stat for the W. So Sack>Picks?
In the late game that wasn’t forgotten, we have Bron coming off a victory to face off against the Avenger. We have seen what the Avenger can do, but what can he do with Mighty, Prime, Pray, Deitsch, Klink, Portal, and Tom’s brother… wait that’s too many people. Klink went down with an injury, heal up bro, we’ll be here waiting to see you again. Scary sounding team, what is the randomizer on, who are they facing? Game 2 Bron is always ready and had a team of Bin, Iceman, Kut, Ross, Stats, and someone more forgotten than the 4th game played.
Another close match in this game. Bron was on fire and in full late game mode, but can he handle another game after an early victory? This was a great game for him, against a stacked team Bron threw a total 4 TDs to Ross and Iceman (two apiece) and no interceptions! And throw a sack in there too! Very few mistakes were made and just good ball all around. All the points were well earned and nothing was easy. On the other side of the ball Avenger had about the same type of game with 4 TDs thrown and no interceptions and a sack to boot (his team’s only sack). So what was the deciding factor and what is wrong with him. Pray throws a TD as well to put his team up 5-4 over Bron. What a game.
Week 12 Recap
With their tailfeathers against the wall, Duck Dynasty shocks the world. The 0-2 men in orange whose leader loves oranges, beat the undefeated Gorillaz. Gorillaz are a stacked team and they showed up to play. It was simply an Any Given Sunday situation which is as true in the NFL as it is in Jewball. You show up to play and compete. You don’t listen to Draft Party musings. You don’t listen to TBI prognosticating. You play the damn game. Pray threw 2 picks to Dachs (or we can say Dachs picked Pray twice) in this low scoring affair. A defensive grudge match. Potential 2025 Rookie Portal plays for Tommy and scores a TD. DK earned two sacks for the Ducks, and Captain Ernie supports his cause with a TD. Legs and Spira recorded 2 sacks each for the Gorrilaz, but the team only scores one (TD pass to Irv). 12-6 your final.
Yaron loses to the yet undefeated Zinn/Ice combo in the other early. Yaron gets sacked 4 times (twice by E, once by BZ, and once by Ice). Zinn throws 3, but Jewball to Ice with the well balanced stats line of 2 scores, a pick, and the sack.
It was Key v. Feit in the late one where Zinn ended up coming in for Key as the offense stagnated a bit late in the game. Prime and Feit put up 2 scores together and Prime had a pick. Prime had a Jewball in his pocket, but this one ended in a 3-3 tie. Key threw 1, Zinn threw 1, and Zinn rushed in for 1. Zinn also had a sack. If only stats mattered.
WEEK 13
Finally, a game I slightly remember. I was playing across the way, and saw a lot of Ice Man heroics. As I sent the teams before Wek 13, I was a bit worried that the Randomizer had messed up and made me look bad…and seems it had. Gronk throws 5 TDs (2 to Blitz, and 1 to Goldberg, Kut, and Prime)…but… he also threw 5 picks (2 Ice, 2 Pray 1 Zada). Pray threw 5 TDs, but once again Ice Man gets the Jewball because of the equally proficient offense and defense with 3 TDs and 2 picks.
At the other early, Yaron beats Bin/Zinn in a close one. Bin put up 4 scores (Solo, Ross, 2 to Zinn), but Yaron had a nuclear option with a Jeremy Brody appearance and Legs on fire making up for the 3 Yaron thrown picks. Yaron comes back and wins this one behind 2 sacks and 2 scores by Legs and a P6 by Brody. Legs targets and acquires the Jewball.
Return of the Avenger in the late game and this guy does not like to lose. 4 TDs thrown (Bert, Portal, 2 Pray, Prime) and a sack. That’s a Jewball for him. Yaron only lost by 1 and that’s pretty good considering how loaded Avenger’s team was. Ice Man gets his requisite (minimum) 2 scores (win or lose) and Ross adds 2. Avenger was loaded so good work Bron and co for keeping it close.