My hope is that this season remains an outlier. Not because it was bad in any way. It wasn’t. This final recap will usher you through a strange, confounding, stirring, sometimes jarring, but ultimately redemptive Jewball 2023-2024 campaign. It’s a season that is hard to describe. It was like a Jewball delicacy comprised of all the usual ingredients, but the result when served had an unfamiliar taste. It was a flavor we had not experienced in the modern era. Not sour at all. But not entirely sweet. Too easy to call it salty. So I’ll just say it was different. And we all know why. Early on in the season, I wrote:
A lot of voices out there might have us question the integrity of our name. Without minimizing how difficult it is and has been to be a member of other tribes and backgrounds, it’s not easy right now to be a Jew. I guess then – since we are all one under this banner – it’s not easy right now to be a Jewballer. I have opinions and thoughts and philosophies about what is going and where it might go, but I’m smart enough to know to keep them to myself and to not listen to those of others. Let’s just stay strong. Stay together. Get through this abysmal era one game at a time.
All these months later, not much has changed. It’s still a hard time to be a Jewballer. And I really don’t want to go too far down that rabbit hole. In a way, this isn’t the place – even though in our final recap, liberties are taken. My problem is that how can I ignore it? A dark cloud hung over our season courtesy of Taylor Swift. It pains me that when Storm was doing his promo for the Patriots and he said next time he’s gonna shout out Jewball, my first thought was….best not to do that now. Our name has been tarnished and degraded. It’s an undeniable fact that we cannot rationalize our way around. In the meantime, we live on, we ball on, but it’s the stuff of tragedy. On this erev Pesach, as I write just a few blocks from where I watched the draft, the words and message of V’hi Sh’amda echo in my head and lead to where I wanted to go anyway. And that is to talk about our persistence.
“And this is what kept our fathers and what keeps us surviving. For, not only one arose and tried to destroy us, rather in every generation they try to destroy us, and God saves us from their hands.”
Or, as the Jewball Haggadah might have it:
And this is what kept the Vets and what keeps us on the field. For, not only have injuries, apathy, excuses, chumash plays, and brisses tried to destroy us, rather in every generation they try to destroy us, and our demented persistence saves us from their hands.
It’s a cheap literary and oratory device to quote the dictionary, but I’m going for it in this case:
To Persist: To go on resolutely or stubbornly in spite of opposition or warning. To continue to exist especially past a usual, expected, or normal time.
Well, damn. If that doesn’t just sum up Jewball as well as the people it was named after. But before we dig in on the nature of our persistence and perhaps even the basis for it, we need to contrast that with the comeback. Lest ye accuse this final recap of plagiarizing from its immediate predecessor. Simply put, a Comeback – as we discussed last year – involves the combining of a returner and a returnee – plus faith. One party separates (for internal or external reasons) from the other, and, with each side harnessing the unquantifiable force of faith, they reunite or reconnect. While persistence may factor in, it isn’t a necessary ingredient. It’s no coincidence that we argue each year about CPOY and who is worthy of it. And we all become Talmudic scholars, differentiating and distinguishing. That’s not really a comeback. He was injured. He was away. But, isn’t that Most Improved (like Legs 😜)? We struggle to define exactly what a Comeback is. I think this tension represents our inability to figure the difference between a comeback candidate and someone who has shown exceptional persistence.
I call the following storyline from this past season underrated only because it’s too massive to fathom or appreciate to the proper extent. That is when Rabin surprised us at the Turkey Bowl with a visit from the Oracle. It happened also to be the day Dom came down to set up and ref. Which – if you recall – was a few days after we rallied a bit to help Dom out with Thanksgiving expenses. We came down, we played football, we had a good time, Dom had a good time, we had photo ops with the Oracle, we appreciated, and we moved on. But it’s now a time for reflection. So let’s reflect.
I think these three separate coinciding events represent the transcendent state of Jewball. We will talk about on the field heroics soon enough, but Jewball has become – for better or….nah, just for better – as much about on the field as off. That is not to say we have neglected our football. Jewball will ALWAYS be a quality football first enterprise. However, in the age of the Enlightenment, we have developed the perfect equilibrium between quality football and quality living – quality existence. So, Dom reffing, our sensitivity to our Jewball family, and our reverence for the traditions and are founders/Vets – while all “off the field” criteria – they encapsulate who we presently are.
The Oracle is persistence personified. Maaseh avos siman labanim. The ordeals of the forefathers become symbols to the generations. We must look no further than the answering machine of legend. Jewball was incubated in the cogs, wheels, and tape of that prehistoric answering machine. When a man takes the time and effort to re-record the greeting each time someone calls in to commit to playing football (on a haphazard grass field that will at most max out at 5-5, and back when winters were cold) so that the game can be organized – so that it can happen despite the odds…that is resolute! That is stubborn! We were born in the flames of that persistence! So is it any surprise that we continue to exist – especially past a usual, expected, or normal time?
The Oracle is our Av. Rabin as well. Who is more persistent than Rabin! Think about what he has endured!! And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the season the Oracle finally returns to the field – the season where I finally get to meet the man that gave me and us the gift of Jewball – is the season of our Rookie class that produced Ice Man, Sherriff, and Mike, among others. The season where MVP returned. The year when Spira rejoined the family as a full-fledged Jewballer.
Ice Man did not make a comeback. He tried Jewball and it went badly. He came down and quit. We yelled back, “You can’t quit, you’re fired!” And…if we and he had left it at that, we never would have seen this – his revelatory ROY winning season. But there was a persistence about him. There was a willingness to push through as he pushed through Pray in the snow. His persistence has won him awards, a championship, and the admiration, fear, and respect of every Jewballer. What I love about Ice Man is what he shares with our 2022-2023 ROY – and what makes the future so blindingly bright…that is, his mind-bending talent combined with such a prolific comprehension of what we are trying to do here.
Same with the Sherriff. He was out of football. A dude with memories of his glory days playing for Perla and the Brooklyn Beasts. But Perla persisted! And joined us – and continues to persist through whatever slings and arrows we throw at him. And it allowed for his return to TNF. Which brought the Sherriff out of retirement and the Jewballers to meet him. And it was love at first sight. As I say every year when the Rookies join up…..imagine Jewball without the Sherriff?! It doesn’t exist! He drives in from far off lands and lights up the field with his sheer joy for the game (his top tier skills are almost a bonus.) While we are talking about those who persist through distance. How about Stats? How about Dobs coming in from Passaic, NJ! Jewballers! Think about the resolve! Cower in awe of the stubbornness!!!
Who takes more abuse than Mike…..and yet….anyone see him backing down? Anyone see him not calling himself first round material next year. You call it delusional. I call it a grandiose expression of the ultimate and quintessential Jewball quality. I promise you, if you think you know Mike – you do not. He has only begun to persist! The dude has depths that must be excavated and quarried and plumbed like a day in the office for Rabin. I remind everyone of the Rook from just a few years back. Who saw that guy exploding into the leader he is today? Jewball is a beautiful thing because it equally encourages, inspires, engenders and rewards persistence.
Moving on from the Rookies, how about the Vets that showed us the way this year. My God…..Dov Snow…the MVP…I am sitting here with goosebumps trying to fathom the journey this man has taken to return to football – and then take his team to the championship game. Dov, in this year of my rehab, there were so many times just thinking of your resolve and stubbornness – convinced me that giving up was not an option. Jewballers, was he the Dov Snow of old who won championships with Munch and Singer? No, of course not. Is Singer coming back next year? Oh, hells yeah. Was Snow the MVP of this season? He wasn’t. But you know what? He could have been. Because Jewball MVP considers multiple factors and Dov Snow exemplified the factors that make me proudest to be a Jewballer. The dedication to the game. To his fellow Jewballers. And a relentless persistence to push yourself to the brink. To – in a way – risk it all. It’s crazy. I know it sounds crazy. I’m typing the insane words and they read insane. But this is our lot and the length of our days. We have found something here of the mundane world and we have imbued it with a lofty spirit. So…at this point I embrace it like God’s hug of the week.
And speaking of bad Jewball puns….let us take a moment to sing the praises of Spira. Guys, he’s older than me! He hasn’t played football for twenty years. 20 YEARS! Let me give you a modern day example of what happened. It’s as if Pray retired at the end of this season and kept in touch more or less through the guys who remember him from this era as being the man. The guy who welcomed them in. The guy who was revered by all for his good nature and great gridiron prowess. And then, for no clear reason, returned to the game in his late 40s….and still managed to impress everyone – both young and old. Sounds like a fantasy. You wouldn’t believe it if it was the plot of a movie. And yet….Jewball….this is exactly what happened! Spira caught everything in his vicinity back in 2002 and he did the same damn thing in 2024. He ran precise routes then…and now. He overanalyzed everything then…and now. The only difference between the 2002 version and the present is that somehow over the past 20 years at some point Spira decided for no good apparent that he was funny. Spira, thanks for being there when I first got to Jewball and showing me what persistence means. You and Rabin. I am so grateful that both Jewball and Jewball persistence became part of who I am. And that we are still here to prove that it is so much more than a theory, a concept, an esoteric idea – but it’s a reality we can live in – as long as we persist.
When I think of Jewish persistence, and need to internalize it to get me through another day of these miserable days – I think of the diaspora. I think of the exile. I think of my ancestors being banished and chased from their precious homeland of Israel time and again and just wandering, starting anew, and despite whatever persecution or success they achieved in lands not their own, they dreamed of return. They mourned and prayed for return. They yearned for the ability to come home. What our enemies do not know (and surely don’t want to know) is that Jews – all Jews – whether European, Latino, American, Arabian, or wherever and whenever we are and were – we have – for thousands of years – just as we will tonight – sing with passionate hearts – Next Year in Jerusalem! Not Next Year in London, or New York, or the Five Towns or Lakewood. Now, the fact that we now have the ability to return and yet we persist in the exile by choice….that’s a topic for another day – perhaps Zezzy or Joey can drop some knowledge on us. But my point is – and my comfort is – they don’t know us. Jews are vilified for their persistence but their persistence will always defeat the vilification. Always.
Which brings me to the persistence of our Jewballers in exile. Whether it be Zezzy by always making sure to come back for a game every season. Or Effie and Jesus who all the boys know because they never forget their roots. Or Waldo who broke our hearts and his own by leaving for sunnier shores mid-season. But of course we have no brighter star pointing the way out of the galus than Prime. Our very own Exilarch. His yearning to come home is the torch and beacon that both warms and guides – lighting the way back. He dreamed of return – and so he will. As Effie will. Because Jewball persistence – like Jewish persistence – is not bound by the rules of time and space.
Everyone knows by now, at this point in the recap, I distract with one MVP and it’s always a bait and switch. Like if I started talking about Zinn here, you’d know for sure it wasn’t him. My problem this year is…no one is going to fall for anything because it seems like it’s so obviously going to be…
Mighty. Let’s talk about Mighty. This wasn’t Mighty’s MVP season. I think a lot of us wanted it to happen – no one more than me. And it started out looking like an inevitability. Angry Mighty was dead. Happy Mighty rolled up on a pink scooter – an homage to the player Mighty humbly called the only player better than himself in Jewball history. When Zinn was asked about the compliment, he seemed truly touched and responded, “Who’s Mighty?” The Rat was revitalized. Singer was on the sideline for the season to prevent the Rat from getting his stats, and he was getting them in droves. Picks. TDs. Jewballs. The stars were aligning. I started writing the portion of this recap that reminisced about the impact Mighty made on Jewball and how he was, is, and always will be the first superstar of Jewball. There was nothing like him before and because of that there will never be anything like him again. Zez’s impact was compared to Mighty’s. Zinn’s as well. Ice Man, and so on. Jewball was only taken to the spectacular level once and it will forever be Mighty who took us there. Everyone who follows is standing in his tiny paw prints. The numbers remained until his final game, but it was clear that the injuries crept in. Perhaps the anger retuned in small doses. By the time he walked off the field with, according to some shitas, 21 minutes and seventeen seconds on the clock of a playoff game…the MVP conversation was reduced to an inaudible murmur. So be it. But what players like myself know – what younger plays cannot – younger players who can still do everything they want to do on the field and have not lost a step – is what kind of persistence it takes to keep lacing up even as the body deteriorates. Even as the wear can no longer be masked, or massaged, or wrapped. And this is why there will never be another Mighty. Because when he started losing some physical battles, he dug his trenches to fend off the mental wars. Is Mighty a head case? Of course he is. But he has to be. You don’t achieve what he has achieved in Jewball without having ridiculous resolve. Without being the most stubborn. Without persisting beyond the realms of normalcy. So while he is not our 2023-2024 MVP, he is the reigning superstar of Jewball for the past fifteen consecutive seasons. No one else can say that. And I doubt anyone ever will.
Unless Pray does it. There is no drama or suspense here. He won so damn much. He was an excellent, supremely likeable person and player three years ago when he won Jewball MVP – and – somehow – he got better. He became more of a Jewball icon. He overcame an injury like the psycho that he is and – perhaps a bit more limited in his run game – he became an assassin with a football. Cerebral and mercenary, yet inexplicably cool and charismatic. As I messaged him after the monsoon shalom zachor (what up, Feit): Thank you for being the kind of Jewballer that we all want to walk through the pouring rain for. He won a career high 16 games while throwing a career high 60 TDs. He lead his Birds to a preposterously dominant season – winning every game from opening day to the finals. He has forged a bromance with Prime that would make JD and Turk jealous. When he won it 3 years ago it was based on his performance, but also with a sense of optimism and desire that he would live up to the mantle bring thrust on him. Well, he blew past our wildest expectations. In a way – he won his first MVP because of who we hoped he would be. This MVP is won because of who he is – pure and simple. Pray, thank you for being who you are. Don’t let softball chat change you 😊. But, seriously – if Mighty is conscious, hard fought persistence, you are effortless persistence. It is your nature. The love of Jewball is your nature. Competing with us and being a role model for us is your nature. It’s such a blessing when the best advice someone can give you is….be you. Bro, be you…and Jewball will continue to benefit and thrive and feed off your brilliant aura. Three years ago I wrote:
“Pray, it is with both awe and gratitude that I present to you – by the powers invested in me as Recap writer – the Jewball 2020-2021 Season MVP. I see many more of these in your future, with God’s help. Amen.
Today I write:
Pray, it is with both awe and gratitude that I present to you – by the powers invested in me as Recap writer – the Jewball 2023-2024 Season MVP. I see many more of these in your future, with God’s help. Amen.
One last factor in this disjointed season was my own absence from the field – the only place that really matters. A Week 4 tendon tear ripped my left bicep from off the bone, resulting in a surgery, resulting in a rehab, which, all in all, stole 12 weeks of football from me. But as Pray, and Waldo, Ernie, Sting, Salem, and Oppen have had it worse and came back – and as Gronk is currently grinding it out – they don’t allow for excuses or self-pity. As they persisted, I must persist. And although I have missed time before – whether the classic ankle, or the finger tendon the season before the Revolution – or the plantaris the season before the Enlightenment. This injury was different. It wasn’t the career ender, but it was an eye opener. Every player is mortal. Even if you all have made me feel I was more than that at times. But the truth is the truth.
Next season will be my last as Commissioner. I will enter the Jewball galus, like Zez and MVP, Effie, and Waldo, and Prime. Dreaming of return. I will self-exile, not because of the injury. Not because it’s time or because I’m done. Just because I am replacing one persistence with another. My Jewish persistence has come into direct conflict with my Jewball persistence. One return will usurp another. One dream for another.
Jewball family, it’s been a 23-year dream. A dream that keeps getting better. A shared dream. A dream that is not over, nor will it be over. Jewball is our home and it always will be. Although the game must be played and played well and like you mean it – Jewball transcends the four painted corners of the turf and the orange cones we lay down. We all know it. So all that is left is to say thank you. In my absence – whether temporary (as I expect) or permanent (as you never know), it is on the collective to step up. To draft, and show on time, run, catch, grab, and tackle. To party, and congregate, and support. To be there for the games and for each other like never before. To post, write, and recap – produce and be creative and clever – in new and interesting ways . To make sure that those of us in the exile always have a home to return to.
We enter the off season with a message and motivation that will never change. Maybe we haven’t used this exact word before, but it’s always been a message of persistence. In health – both physical and mental. In fitness. In remaining unified and focused. In rising above this world which begs us to crumble while daring us to persist.

The categories below are made to give respect to those who we believe have earned the highest Jewball achievements of the season. While some polls are limited to choices, some have write in ballots. Please consider what these players do on the field, what they do for their teams, the stats they accumulate, and how they impact the game each time they walk on the gridiron. Please note that the overall MVP award is a distinction given by our commissioner during the season recap (although he does consider the vote). Please only vote once. Make every vote count!! (Note: Most performance categories carry a 10 games played minimum)

Yaron Markfeld	8:43 PM (0 minutes ago)
to me

Vets Rooks Recap
I have previously waxed effusively on the virtues of Vets Rooks. So this recap will be mostly about the plays made or missed on the field. And speaking of missing, let me begin by shouting out those I missed on VR Sunday. Besides my Vets who are long gone from the game and all but forgotten, I wish O was there. I wish Singer showed up. I wish Munch was there. And Prime, and Goldberg, and Gronk. My Jewball heart belongs to the Vets. Not because they are better people or better friends than the Rooks. But because by definition they have been on this island with me the longest. And the more time on the island, the better. As I told them before we lost…we already won.
(I wrote the above about three weeks ago. Now, I write after Week 20, as I pitifully try to recap the ancient past. And I do so out of a sense of obligation. To all you fine people who bring it every week in so many ways. But, I cannot pretend I did not see the post VR Championship episode of TBI, which astutely pointed out that VR has lost its luster. It likely has. I think recaps have also fallen from their once lofty pedestal. Neither because of diminished quality of the product (in my opinion). Both, I believe, because they no longer serve their initial need. VR was instituted to bring electricity and freshness to a long season that was starting to stale. Recaps were meant to make sure that Jewball felt unified and lend it a dignity and import. To make it matter. Well, twenty years later – freshness and electricity are not the issue. In fact, some might argue that VR is starting to BE the end of season staleness. It could be it needs a reboot. Perhaps in All Star Game form. Not sure. Not next year though. Think next year will have juice. Seismic realignment of the classes. Plus we are tied at 3-3 over the VR winners since the Revolution. We need a tie breaker. After that….we can think about changing it up. As for recaps, I’ll keep at it – but – with the chat, TBI, and video, recaps are like waiting for your local TV news at 8pm to break major stories. But, I will persist – if for no  other reason, but not have Yaron and Kut bombarding me with guilt-inducing stickers)
The Vets game – Juniors v. Seniors came down to a returning Vet who both showed up and missed the game. Way before I knew how last week would go, I am on the record (aka TBI) as stating that the player I am most impressed with this season is Snow – the MVP. And subsequent to VR Sunday, Snow’s Crocs beat my Cronies – so this may be coming off as bitter. It isn’t. It’s a recap. It’s what happened. I really wanted the Seniors to win. We had a great shot. Even with Singer opting out (though – for the record – he came out and DID PLAY ONE SNAP! ), the Seniors has enough to beat a Junior team that was without much of their marquee talent. Yet, minutes before the game, the Seniors lost their QB. Snow had a rough night and couldn’t make it. Tabak pulled the same vanishing act for the Juniors, but was replaced by Storm. And he’s not his team’s QB. Rabin’s gonna beat me up for constantly beating him up, but the addition of Snow as QB was supposed to be the big change the Seniors needed. A QB with championship pedigree, who can move the ball with both long and short passes – accuracy, a game plan, and a Veteran’s savviness. But, he couldn’t make it. So Tom stepped in. And immediately did himself a huge favor with a P6 on the first play of the game. Yaron doing Rabin things. Sorry, Bin. But the good times for the Seniors did not last. Tom threw 2 picks in his only 2 sets at QB. The 2nd of which gave Yaron and the Juniors the ball on the Senior 12 yard line. In Jordan’s first official game back from injury, Yaron wisely tested his timing and agility and exposed a weakness. After throwing a screen to Storm, which Jordan managed to blow up, the following play was a fake screen to Storm with Zada over the top. Jordan got caught in the middle and Zada hauled in a pass for a score that tied it up. Around this time Snow showed up. The Seniors were saved! After he warmed up with Singer for a while, the MVP came in. And it just never clicked. The huddles weren’t crisp. The passing game never materialized. The hopes of the Seniors were slowly dashed. A late TD pass to Daveo was not enough. Yaron and the Juniors fashioned more of a stable offense. Every time it seemed like Yaron was in trouble, Spira bailed him out at TE. The Vet of all Vets, playing for the Juniors due to his newbie status in the modern era of Jewball, has proven himself time and again this season as sure handed as ever. Anyone ever see this guy drop a catchable ball? I have memories of this guy going back 25 years. Always the same thing. Easy passes, tough passes, bombs, screens, slants, crosses – if it’s catchable, Spira catches it. He had 2 sacks and the go ahead TD for the Juniors. He picked a bunch of first downs as well and key yards when the Seniors were looking for a crack to sneak through and get back in the game. It never came. Juniors win and Spira gets himself a Jewball.
To begin with, say what you want about VR not being the hottest ticket in 2024, but the hype of Smores Freshies remained. And then seeing Rook and Ernie in Smores Crimson gave this Vet chills. Of course seeing the newly minted Freshies play in their first VR was equally powerful. Sherrif, Ice Man, Mike, Blitz, Daxxy, Fox, BK – damn….thank you God….we are living in an era of Jewball wonderments.
The game started in my favorite way possible. Pray to Dobs and the n Dobs with a juke for the ages and a Smore TD. Let’s Go!! Unfortunately for the Smores, that was the highlight of the day. Dachs doesn’t get the love that Pray gets or the hate that Yaron gets. He sort of just exists in the Jewball solar system as a dark star. A star, but obfuscated in some way. I was able to watch him in the Smores Freshies game and then again this past Sunday in the Dawgs BOP matchup. He is so talented. He does astounding things on a football field. Especially when he’s with his brother, Dax. After the Smores went up 1-0, Dachs threw 3 TD passes – one prettier than the next. The poise and accuracy he displays while avoiding the sack is like nothing Jewball has ever seen. Though he’s been prone to the bad pick this season, he, more often than not, makes up for it with masterful point scoring drives. His TD to Dax over Rook in the corner was a stunner. His game icer to Zinn over the middle – zipping it in to a tight, closing window was perfection. After all this praise, I’m giving the Jewball to Dax for scoring the 2 TDs that made the difference. That TD catch in the corner was so pretty. Hats off also to the Sherrif for making some “classic” Sherrif catches – the kind that look like they have no chance, but then he bumbles, stumbles, secures, and makes the crowd go wow. Think VR was Sherriff’s spotlight game. A lot of people finally saw what he is capable of. Played big in a big game. Smores lose in less heartbreaking fashion than last year, but lose nonetheless.
I was overseas for the VR Finals, but of course wanted the Vets to win. So proud of the Vets as they made this a  game despite truly overwhelming odds. Even though the Rooks were without some major stars from their playoff game, including Sherrif, Fox, and Ice Man, they still had their big 4 of Dachs, Dax, Zinn, and Oppen (next year’s Smores!). And it was enough. If I recall from the updates Pray was providing, the game was tied in the early going. Beast scored for the Vets, Zinn for the Rooks. But, much like 3.  in their prior game, the Freshies only gave up 1 and scored 3. Dachs, once again just so sneaky good, did his thing and scored with Stats and ran 1 in. This time, the QB with as much competitive grit and energy as any Jewballer ever, gets himself a Jewball and goes 2-2 as a Freshie – winning back to back VR Championships along with his unprecedentedly remarkable class. Rookies, I can’t stomach us Vets losing to you arrogant pieces of garbage, but….when I take a breather and a step back…and remove my player helmet and put on my Commish cap…I am completely dumbfounded by your presence. We Vets want to beat you and will beat you – that won’t stop – but we thank you so much for joining us. For making us feel that our commitment to Jewball was worth it. For letting us know why we kept this going for so long. It truly does seem like we everything we built was for this moment. To welcome you here. So welcome, and we’ll get you next year.

As I slowly but surely run out of ways to describe football games in words, I like to believe that by filming, I save myself the requirement to recap. Week 12 was another 3 game affair and I dutifully filmed much of it. And as much as I’d love to refer you to the clips posted for some of the details of these games, this is a recap that needs writing. The Chronicles need to mark this week because we will one day ask ourselves when the Gronk comeback began. And the answer will be that it occurred on the same week that the Feit comeback began.
Game 1A looked really good on paper. Two QBs on a roll going head to head. Gronk v. Pray. At the same time two MVP candidates on the same team – Mighty and Pray – trying to win the game while limiting the stats of the other. And also the biggest challenge of all…PJs trying to avoid a concussion. I’d love to say that things started falling apart for Team Colors the moment Gronk got injured, but in reality – he had thrown three picks and no TDs before tragedy struck. I believe the score was 0-0 when all of a sudden, Gronk was on the floor, eyes closed, holding his leg. He knew. “I feel like I got shot in the ankle” He was doing something he had done a thousand times before. Moving around, buying some times before finding the open receiver. And bang. Shot. Down he goes. There are so many reasons to lament the end of Gronk’s season. After basically missing the entire last season, he came back with just a tad of rust on the field and a lot more centered off of it. The guy was a force to be reckoned with on the chat the past few seasons. Firing missives and provocations with abandon. But, now, he is Oraclesque in his discretion – weighing his words and thoughts. Then the football part of him kicked in. Athletes gonna athlete. He started intimidating QBs, catching Yaron bombs on Tuesday nights, taunting the Kid, and dropping dimes on every single WR at his disposal. He was having a season that could only be described as Gronkian. But sports is a cruel master and there are no free passes. No one is above a season ender. We are all out here dodging bullets. As is the Jewball way, Gronk hobbles over to a bench and spends the rest of the game contemplating his miserable fate. With a torn achilles, the denial stage does not last long. Depression sets in almost immediately. Acceptance soon after. The game goes on, but it was not much of a challenge. A one armed Jordan steps in to replace a QB. Kut tries to throw. Throws a pick. Goldberg tried to throw. Throws 2 picks. Mighty is the beneficiary of all this. Scores 2 and picks 3. PJs catches a TD as well as knee to the head. He nearly had a P6, but was foggy post hit. Pray walks away with the Jewball in the accursed game with 3 thrown, 2 picks, and 1 of em for 6. Gronk….fight!
Gronk had a great excuse for taking the L. Don’t know what Yaron will tell you. He loses to the upstart Invader 2-1 in a game that all who witnessed it dubbed The Daxxy Game. The rookie crooner had 2 sacks and a majestic leaping P6. I missed the fireworks of that play, but every time I looked up to check on that game, I saw E making catches all over the place and DK taking out his sack lunch (birthday boy had 4). But DK and E’s heroics were not enough to get Yaron a W. Who can possibly get a Jewball for the Daxxy Game? Hmmmm….
On a day where a QB goes down, a QB is resurrected. Feit has been having a lowkey strong season. Walked to Pray SZ in the rain. Played sharp in 2 Bowl Games. Got a Jewball in a BOP win. And now, a regular season win over Yaron. JaBron graciously gave Storm a start on the fiery one’s birthday and it went pretty well. Both Feit and Storm went 3 and out to start the game, but on take two, Storm matriculated down the field and fired one in to Yaron at the back of the endzone and took a 1-0 lead. At that point Yaron took over the offense and the team would fail to score for the remainder of the game. And although Feit ran anemic offenses for his League Teams in prior years, he has been a potent offensive force this season. The Determined Dermo has been showing up with the Stat That swagger of old, and dividends are being paid. He throws the TDs (Sherrif, Kut, and Pray), runs one in for a score, and add a pick for extra flavor. Jewball to him? Yes. Is a League Team next?

League Week 3 gamesmanship started days in advance, as two of our teams were scrambling to replace QBs. The QB for the 1-1 Dawgs and 0-2 Cobras were out of commission for pivotal matchups in this very short 6 game season. Dachs was trying to keep the shalom bayis and stayed back (with the exception of a short appearance, leaving the kids in the car in the parking lot like many great men before him), and Perla is down with a bone chip suffered during a PJS flackle (flag grab disguised as tackle). Let the battle for Weider begin. While the potential/hopeful future Jewballer had agreed to come out, the question was who he would play for. It looked at first that he would be throwing for Cobras as his absence was assured, but once Dachs made his decision to sit official, Legs played both the he’s my friend card and the confused card, and Weider was all set to run the offense for the Dawgs. We will get to the Cobras in a bit.
The Dawgs, coming off a loss to BOP, were taking on the 1-1 Crocs, who had beaten the Lionhearts a few weeks earlier at Woodmere Middle. An impressive win, but one they viewed as merely a stepping stone. The Dawgs would be a tough test, with the combined talents of Legs, Mighty, Steveo, O, Blitz, Salem, and Ross. Even without their leader and signal caller – this is a stacked team. But would Weider be able to catch up to Jewball speed after many years away from the game and scrape off the rust in time to deliver his team a victory? To the game:
The answer to the rust question was answered immediately. It was there and needed some scraping. Passes were not reaching their intended targets and Weider’s scrambles were one gear too slow. It was surely a frustrating first few sets for the Dawgs. But it was clear that Weider was a winner and confident and knew that his football faculties would return – the only question was when and would it be too late?
The Crocs were lined up with their formidable squad; MVP under center and a powerhouse of talent lead by Zinn and rounded out by BK, Dobbs, Rook, Sam, Kut, Vegh, and Tom. On their first possession, a well contested ball and drop by the normally sure-handed Dobbs kept both teams off the board early. But after another shaky set with Weider’s timing off, Snow got the ball back and went to the most reliable weapon in Jewball – the jump ball to Zinn. Left sideline 40 yard no doubter – keeping it simple and moving the chains. From the red zone, Ross – who had a big game – made a nice play batting down a TD intended for Zinn, but a play later Snow found BK and the Crocs were on the board.
If Weider wasn’t going to figure things out, it was possible that Crocs could win even with one score. But just then the defense did him a huge favor. It was the Big O with a deflection of a Snow pass and a beautiful diving recovery of the ball before it hit the ground – setting up the Dawgs at their 5 yard line. With that kind of down and distance, Weider came back fully charged and found Ross zipping across the endzone left to right and tied things up.
The celebration was short lived. With Dachs watching from the sideline, the Dawgs’ defense broke down and a blown coverage resulted in a wide open BK who easily took the 25 yard pass to the house as Legs screamed “Who has him?!” Crocs up 2-1 as the first half came to a close.
The second half was about as exciting as Jewball gets. Weider transformed right before our eyes into a QB, and though still not what he soon will be, the passes were crisper – some brilliant – and the QB runs were up to speed. And it helped that Ross was having his best game as a Jewballer. The rookie picked Snow for 6 and tied the game up early in the 2nd half. The second half made it look like Snow was trying to blow the game. The first half momentum was flushed away in a flurry of picks. The MVP was intercepted 5 times on the day and the last one resulted in a drive for the invigorated Weider and Dawgs. A sweet sliding grab running right to left in the corner of the endzone by Blitz to give the Dawgs a 3-2 lead with only minutes left in the game. Dawgs were assured ball last so the odds were stacked against the Crocs to pull this one out. I wish I could say I remember everything about the drive Snow orchestrated. For some reason I think it was catches by Vegh and Dobs. Either way, the drive was capped by a game tying TD by the Rook! Dawgs now with the ball and a chance to win it in regulation. Weider marched his team down the field confidently. Everything had gone their way in the second half and it was now time to indelibly stamp this game as an all time great comeback. Straight out of a TBI dream sequence, the game would end on an out to Mighty on the right side. He would make one man miss and skitter his way in to the endzone to seal the game and his legend. The Year of the Rat would continue. But what happened was…Mighty runs into a brick wall at the 1. And you can’t spell brick without BK. BK stands Mighty up at the 1 and the game goes on. It goes on to the tune of another TD for the Rook in nearly the same spot as his game tying TD five minutes earlier. Dawgs get another chance to win the thing, but after some positive yards, Weider fires a gorgeous 26 yard pass at a crossing Blitz, who proceeds to do what Storm calls the dart board and the ball bounces off his chest and into the air. And then into the waiting arms of Rook. Game over. Crocs win! Jewball in a game like this is a tough win. Because it’s an important game and there were so many huge plays. In the end, none were bigger than the one that actually prevented the loss. That is BK stopping Mighty at the 1. That’s the ball game, right there. Mighty scores there nine out of ten times. Rook comes very close with the late game heroics, but in the end – it’s BK with the 2 early scores to give Crocs the cushion they desperately needed, and making the play of the game to keep his team alive.
Our other games I did not watch. Klink was manning the Cronies v. Lionhearts game and Samet was handling Cobras v. BOP. Thank you, gentlemen, both. Much appreciated. Brief recaps of those two affairs:
At LHS, it was the 1-1 Cronies against the 1-1 Lionhearts, and Lionhearts jumped out first with a bomb TD to Jack. My heart sunk as I saw that from across the way, thinking my team would be having a rough day. But they didn’t. A few minutes later I see a bomb TD to storm and a few minutes after that a bomb TD to Tommy. I see the Cronies celebrating and barking. We bark. You can shut them up by beating them. Good luck. Every time I look up I see Oppen smacking down a pass. I see Daxxy with a huge smile. Cronies are fine. Yaron put up some points in Yaron time, but it was all Cronies day. My QB throws 3 TDs (Tommy, PJs, and Storm), has 3 picks (2 of em for 6), and racks up another Jewball.
Brady did not make it to Jewball. The man most excited about Bardy did not make it out Sunday morning. Solo was late Sherrif was later. Cobras still made it a game, but in a losing effort. BOP have not lost. Cobras have not won. On to the next. Every game is its own unique story and possibility. Jewball to Prime for coming in and scoring a TD. The guy is an inspiration.
The next morning we regrouped for some Jesus Bowl football. Was great to see All Man play some ball. Was astonishing to see Brody come out (for all the well earned shtick about his chronic canceling – he can ball). Was beautiful to see all the friends and Jewball family on the sideline. Our Bowl Games are our holidays and we know how to celebrate. We know what’s important. We have another one in a few days. See you on the field.